I just finished book #10 of Robert Jordan's stupid series.

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a friend of mine in HS once explained the whole cosmology to me (the uh 'wheel of time' deal) and then was like "uh actually i kind of believe it."

― g e o f f (gcannon), Monday, 2 May 2005 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

The description of magic use are pretty cool as well.

― A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (ex machina, Monday, 2 May 2005 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I've said this before possibly, but the main point of the last few books seems to be about listening to the inside thoughts of random characters as they totally misinterpret the actions of all the other characters (like, that second most recent book actually ended with something important, so the most recent book seemed to be about three quarters everyone going: "gee, I wonder what that big explosion was").

But the thing is, this is both annoying and also kind of impressively audacious. I don't think that Jordan is intentionally stalling so much as just suffering from a bad case of being fascinated with the cataloguing of all of his characters' inner worlds to an obsessive-compulsive degree.

It's like, the series started off as Lost and somewhere along the way became The O.C.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Monday, 2 May 2005 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Now I'm imagining Rand dancing to Death Cub for Cutie and meeting George Lucas.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 2 May 2005 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

The Wheel of Time #11: The Torrents of Emo

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

*resists BitTorrents joke, just*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 01:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Tim I actually really liked that aspect of it in the ones I read. That Domani (or whatever) Captain with the bad accent would mention some trinket in passing, and then in a whole different book some Aes Sedai (is that how you spell em?) would talk about the legend of this one ancient artifact and then in a whole different book rand would find it and do awesome shit with it. It's, like, Jordan sets these little foreshadowing plot barbs in and then cashes in the chips later on (omg I crossed the streams there).

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

That's what really sucks about all this too is that there're so many loose ends that I'm madly curious about, like what ever happened between Mat and the Daughter of the Nine Moons, and was there ever any more about the people on the other side of the desert all the way off the map to the east that ritualistically kill their kings all the time or something like that. And what about the lizard people through that one doorway, huh? Ooh! and what about that bad guy that only appeared in one scene in one book who could apparently channel the True Source and had a blue line crossing his eyeballs and scared the shit out of the other bad guys!?
But I'll be damned if I'm going to read the books to find out.
I don't know if I'm still super-nerdy for even wanting to know about this stuff, or if I'm redeemed by refusing to knuckle under and read 5 more books about bickering Aes Sedais.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan I, I kiss you!! I guess I will have to reread these at some point.

But I mean.... fuck! I started reading them when I was still going to little kids' summer camp and here I am entering the adult world.

― A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (ex machina, Tuesday, 3 May 2005 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

the worse people try and make these sound the more i want to read them

― tom west (thomp), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan two of the loose ends you referred to have been picked up on, one is almost certainly to be resumed er any book now and one I think is a passing curio.

I love the recurring plot trinkets as well, the plot intricacy is the best thing about the series I reckon. What I'm referring to are situations like seventy pages of Perrin worrying about nothing in particular or Aviendha and Elayne envying eachother's hairsytles.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i never got through the 4th book. it just got all samey. has the goddamned guy saved the world yet or what?

― lemin (lemin), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 04:06 (twenty-one years ago)

what's it about?!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 04:23 (twenty-one years ago)

kind of a messiah plot where the messiah has a possibly crippling defect

― ryan (ryan), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 04:38 (twenty-one years ago)

and this is milked for dramatic tension for THOUSANDS of pages.

― ryan (ryan), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 04:41 (twenty-one years ago)

The best bits in the books I read (up to nr 6, I think. Blame ILX. I was all snarky, but some people (Di, Dan) here said they were good) were the bits where you got these piecemeal references to the technologically advanced earlier age that nothing survived from, except fragments.

Did the sorceress woman who vanished through the magic doorway ever come back?

Gene Wolfe's forst set of books abt Severian the Torturer pwn these books in just about everyway, mind.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I the only person waiting for Min, Elayne and Aviendha to kiss?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

(don't answer that)

― The Ghost of Internet Slash To Thread (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Did the sorceress woman who vanished through the magic doorway ever come back?

Moiraine? Maybe. Maybe not.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

everybody stop talking about this lest i be foolishly tempted to start reading it again!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahahaha:

http://www.google.co.uk/search?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-GB%3Aofficial_s&hl=en&q=%22wheel+of+time%22+%22slash%22&meta=&btnG=Google+Search

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

The last 50 pages of book 6 are completely off the chain. It's all downhill from that, though I'll buy the next one the day it comes out. I'm a slave 4 RJ.

― adam (adam), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

After the birth of her second child, Morgase shares a vulnerable moment with her Aes Sedai advisor...chapter four up.

Anyway, this is tempting me to "catch up", except I'd have to read them all from the top, and that's a mighty slab of pulp.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the majority of the tediousness is all the fucking bland bickering between "handsome" Aes Sedai and noblepersons trying to abdicate a variety of crowns. Less Brown Ajah, more Perrin the Wolf Dude fucking people up to save his wife.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost) "This" being "this thread", not "this wholly unsurprising existence of a WoT slash community"

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"Less Brown Ajah, more Perrin the Wolf Dude fucking people up to save his wife."

Yeah but it would be better if he did more of the "fucking people up" and less of the "think about anything except Berelain's legs" guilty repression trips.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 00:46 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah this has been said like a 1000 times on this thread already but Jordon really confuses petty neuroses for compelling drama.

― ryan (ryan), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 01:09 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

oh no!!! number 11 is out soon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0312873077/ref=amb_right-3_96176201_2/103-2203941-6931055

― ryan (ryan), Sunday, 28 August 2005 18:53 (twenty years ago)

i am 25 now and i must have been 13 when i started reading these books

― ryan (ryan), Sunday, 28 August 2005 18:57 (twenty years ago)

i gave up.

i finally finished nine, which was fucking tedious and terrible.

read "A Game of Thrones" by George R. R. Martin instead. First book in the best fantasy series of the decade.

― Ian John50n (orion), Sunday, 28 August 2005 19:15 (twenty years ago)

Read the first two. Thought there were only (only!) six. Went to the bookshop and saw volume seven. Promptly abandoned the series.

― chap who would dare to thwart the revolution (chap), Sunday, 28 August 2005 19:26 (twenty years ago)

Ian, has the fourth book in Martin's series come out yet?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 28 August 2005 20:14 (twenty years ago)

out in november.

― Ian John50n (orion), Sunday, 28 August 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Ian is so OTM about that Martin series! So fucking good (and the characters are all in jeopardy at all times) (so awesome watching them attempt the Potpourri category).

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 29 August 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)

I figure it's going to be great by what little I've read of it so far. Kind of an extension of Guy Gavriel Kay's shades of gray approach, which is thoroughly welcome.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 29 August 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

Ian, you were so right. I went and bought "A Game of Thrones" after I started it at your house and tore through it. I'm getting "A Clash of Kings" today and will blame you if I spend all my time reading it instead of finding a job.

― Laura H. (laurah), Monday, 29 August 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

IAN CONTRIBUTES TO UNEMPLOYMENT

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 29 August 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

I DO MY BEST FOR YA'LL FOLKX.

SHIT IS SO GOOD. READ IT ALL UP.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

I just started Walden by H.D. Thoreau. Is the rest of the series this good?

― TOMBOT, Monday, 29 August 2005 22:22 (twenty years ago)

I hear Walden Five is when it kicks in.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 29 August 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

That's when Don Henley fights Thoreau's ghost.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 29 August 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

thoreau and emerson can eat my cock.
booorrring.

― Ian John50n (orion), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 00:57 (twenty years ago)

"i am 25 now and i must have been 13 when i started reading these books "

Yeah, i think I started in 1994! I have not read a fantasy book in yonks I think. And yet i am vaguely pondering the impending release date with anticipation...

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

Yet more proof that this series is like totally autobiographical provided in the RJ interview on the page Ryan linked to:

"Q: What is the worst lie you've ever told?
A: It's hard to think of one since I am genetically incapable of lying to women and that takes out 52% of the population right there."

"Q: If you could have one superpower what would it be?
A: That depends. If I'm feeling altruistic, it would be the ability to heal anything with a touch, if that can be called a superpower. If I'm not feeling very altruistic, it would be the ability to read other people's minds, to finally be able to get to the bottom of what they really mean and what their motivations are. "

Also, worst cover yet!

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

"Yeah, i think I started in 1994!"

No it was 1992! That is wrong.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

Jordan has scarred me permanently. I spent years waiting for each new volume to be released until finally I gave up halfway through book nine. It was so hard to plough through the tedium when there's no end in sight.

I now won't start a fantasy series until all the books have been published. So I'm denying myself the GRR Martin and the Stephen Erikson books that are meant to be really good.

I delude myself into thinking that Jordan means it when he says that it'll all be finished in the next couple of books and that one day I can go back to it and read the whole thing from beginning to end.

― Greig (treefell), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

The Martin and Erikson are good. And Erikson at least can be relied upon to regularly produce the goods (saying that his publisher put the date of book 6 back nine months for no apparent reason...bastards). Martin's characters while well written unfortunately have the habit of dying whenever they even slightly fuck something up...sooner of later he's gonna run out of them.

I've been tempted, over the years, to write to Jordan informing him of these strange things called "editors". It's been 15 years and he still hasn't got anywhere near the bloody point, I know kids who are reading them who weren't born when the first one was published. And I'm also sick of his characters being trapped in permanent adolescence or (in the case of his female characters) permanent PMS.

― Stone Monkey (Stone Monkey), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

I am the only person on Earth who really likes the exploding subplots in the Jordan books. I really like the sense that these events are so massive that the ripple effect is causing a complicated political and social upheaval that is impacting the foundations of every single society on the planet and Jordan's taking the time to show us every single major story and plot thread in this series; it's like watching an actual alternate history unfold.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

it's not much fun to try and read robert jordan when yr on acid. HEAD HURTS

― Ian John50n (orion), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

I noticed the following link from that amazon page that ian j linked to:

omg wtf

Like finishing this lot isn't enough, he has to start on a prequel TRILOGY!!!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 671 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Could start in on the Bible

― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Thursday, 27 December 2018 02:41 (seven years ago)

read the talmud instead it's a lot cooler, and also long

― j., Thursday, 27 December 2018 03:00 (seven years ago)

i already know the ending

― mookieproof, Thursday, 27 December 2018 03:01 (seven years ago)

How about the Mahābhārata? You could also try learning sanskrit first if brevity is an issue.

― pomenitul, Thursday, 27 December 2018 03:10 (seven years ago)

There's also L. Ron Hubbard's Mission Earth series. All top-shelf material I'm sure.

― pomenitul, Thursday, 27 December 2018 03:11 (seven years ago)

dirty stuff too

― j., Thursday, 27 December 2018 03:24 (seven years ago)

PKD

― calstars, Thursday, 27 December 2018 03:25 (seven years ago)

Could start in on the Bible

― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Thursday, 27 December 2018 02:41 (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

have to imagine hes ready to leave jordan for a while

― gabbnebulous (darraghmac), Thursday, 27 December 2018 09:43 (seven years ago)

three years pass...

just got to the sanderson books... woof! this is such bad fan fiction!

― 龜, Monday, 20 June 2022 00:06 (three years ago)

you're saying

that you prefer

literally three books of perrin doing nothing but stewing

― mookieproof, Monday, 20 June 2022 00:20 (three years ago)

perrin's definitely the weakest of the 3. i think there's a whole book in the golden middle of the series where he doesn't even appear? after the 'return to the shire' bit and before faile gets captured.

it's funny that rj developed this 'am i going to go bestial and insane - how did elyas stop it' plotline for him early on and then it vanished completely. elyas even came back and they just smell each other for a few chapters.

― 龜, Monday, 20 June 2022 00:53 (three years ago)

ohhhh lord darragh ned please talk to this sucker cause they killing rand al'thor they taking the pain and struggle of life of the dragon reborn the only thing we coulda express our minds and pain. and these suckers took it and made it look like garbage thats why we get judge so much cause these shit dont be making sence

― mookieproof, Monday, 20 June 2022 02:55 (three years ago)

The best example I can think of of a fantasy author completely losing control of the narrative. I suppose his health problems contributed, but I don't think he had any idea how to end it.

By the way, who killed Asmodean?

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Monday, 20 June 2022 17:21 (three years ago)

four weeks pass...

~25 years after i first started... done!

― 龜, Tuesday, 19 July 2022 18:23 (three years ago)

two years pass...

Season 3 of the TV series coming soon o_o;;

― ian, Friday, 7 March 2025 18:45 (one year ago)

Chat happening over here!

who in this bitch reads robert jordan? -- The Wheel of Time thread

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 7 March 2025 18:47 (one year ago)

whoops.

― ian, Friday, 7 March 2025 18:50 (one year ago)

I've made it to book 8. Not boring yet, though I am getting through about a book per year.

― tortillas for the divorce party (seandalai), Saturday, 8 March 2025 15:43 (one year ago)

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