Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

Excellent work stan :)

Among the tapes there's supposed to be a bloopers tape of out-takes. Should wheel Denis Norden out of retirement to present it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1388096/Kenneth-Clarkes-rape-law-reform-Victim-challenges-plans-halve-jail-sentences.html

Mr Clarke was also confronted by a rape victim during a phone-in, who said she was put through almost two years of trauma before her attacker pleaded guilty.
She branded Mr Clarke's plans 'a disaster'.
Talking through her tears, she told Mr Clarke: 'I wouldn't wish what I went through, fighting the criminal justice system for 688 days, on my worst enemy.
'I'd gone through the trauma of it, for the 688 days and then on that 688th day he pleads guilty and gets out early.'
She added that the attack had a knock-on effect on her career and her family...

Are you the woman who confronted Mr Clarke? Do you know who it is? Call the Daily Mail newsdesk on 020 7938 6154

Cunts.

oh fuck:

http://www.journalism.co.uk/news/mail-online-expected-to-become-world-s-most-popular-news-website/s2/a544363/

not surprised. it peddles womens flesh along with vile hatred of women displaying said flesh, plus a neat line in xenophobia if hating women while wanking at them isn't your thang. how could it not do gangbusters business?

that and all those people who keep getting baited into visiting for OUTRAGE

I am outraged and furious at this news.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/06_01/blatterKissinger_482x449.jpg

Taking out the trash: Ashley Cole carried out three large rubbish bags full of kitchen waste

The left-back was wearing a Raging Bull T-shirt in honour of the 1980 Martin Scorsese film.

Robert Dinero, who played boxer Jake La Motta in the film, was printed across his chest, which he teamed up with a pair of khaki shorts and blue trainers.

proper journalism, ladies and gentlemen...

Robert making crazy Dinero

Surely that should Lamotta?

"be"

so what's the angle of the story, that Cole is environmentally unsound, he is a possible psycho raging monster, or that he shops at the Gap?

In Liz Jones news, Liz Jones has had a massively expensive facelift. That's Liz Jones who begs from pensioners because she can't afford to keep her dogs in Prada blankets and Jo Malone candles.

She still looks like Liz Jones though.

A SLOP BUCKET IN EVERY HOME.

I swear they've done this headline before recently? We reycle food scraps in a lovely little tub we got in Lakeland Plastics, but if we have to have a slop bucket, so be it.

I'm sure there's a photo somewhere of a government minister who doesn't need to recycle any scraps...

Not a patch on the Express' DUSTBIN CHAOS ON THE WAY

http://www.suasnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/dusty1.gif

As if you can't all do a bit more for yourselves . Next you will be moaning that the council don't come round to wipe your bottoms . THINK ABOUT IT PEOPLE .
- Barry, Scotland, 15/6/2011 0:58

Oh Jan Moir...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2016283/Michael-McIntyre-endures-jealousy-rival-comics.html

Surely not the same Jan Moir who thought it was cool to make homophobic capital out of the death of a gay pop star?

Although his Tramadol Nights series was finally taken off the air by Channel 4, neither Boyle nor the station ever saw fit to apologise to Miss Price.

I thought it just came to the end of its run, not that it was 'taken off'

http://www.chortle.co.uk/features/2011/07/19/13653/stewart_lee:_what_i_really_think_about_michael_mcintyre

In a bizarre suggestion, he says: ‘Those who would defy political correctness must behave according to the old rules of our culture. Ladies should be wives and homemakers, not cops or soldiers, and men should still hold doors open for ladies. Children should not be born out of wedlock. Glorification of homosexuality should be shunned.’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2018206/Vlad-Impaler-genius-The-crazed-hate-filled-manifesto-mass-murderer.html

i am amazed

also at that URL

That Moir article about Michael McIntyre seems to have vanished. Which is probably best when it comes to anything puked out onto a page by her.

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Jul/Week4/16038880.jpg

it is wrong that my first reaction was 'lol'

that is a really horrible story but yeah, i think it's a bit much to assume the whole free breakfast part of it had anything to do with it.

yeah ronan is right, the actual story is kind of more horrifying than the stupid free breakfast lead angle would imply

i swear i read this story a few weeks back, on gawker or the guardian or something? daily mail, o arbiter of opprobrium, thou art slipping!!

He was convicted yesterday,

Lex is right, it's the last story that needs a spurious 'angle' imposed upon it to make it sound horrific.

I am so very very sorry, I didn't mean any of it

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/07_03/chav1DM_468x360.jpg

read that as 'chav IDM'

Tut...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2033229/Pups-kittens-clubbed-death-EU-lab-welfare-plans.html

Ministry of silly old sods:

The comic was asked what he thought about British culture and the recent London riots during an interview on 7.30, a television show in Australia, where he is currently on a stand-up tour.

He replied: 'I'm not sure what's going on in Britain. Or, let me say this – I don't know what's going on in London, because London is no longer an English city.

'That's how we got the Olympics.

'They said we were the most cosmopolitan city on Earth. But it doesn't feel English.

'I had a Californian friend come over two months ago, walk down the King's Road and say, "Where are all the English people?"

'I mean, I love having different cultures around. But when the parent culture kind of dissipates, you're left thinking, "Well, what's going on?"'

Morrissey is Californian?

The ‘hard core’ of internet pirates tend to use sites such as the Swedish-hosted Pirate Bay, where a huge list of links offers thousands of films, TV shows and albums for free, sometimes even before they are officially released - but you need special BitTorrent ‘peer-to-peer’ software such as Vuze to download and share from the site.

I hate the Daily Mail because their bullshit gets blindly copied by our formerly respectable media just because controversy = clicks = who cares whether it's true or not.

E.G.: someone said a date on the BBC using the Common Era -> BBC BANS BEFORE/AFTER CHRIST!!!!OMG!!!! http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/2011/09/bc-and-ad-not-jettisoned-by-bbc.html

and as usual, here's the Belgian lazy translator hacks:

http://www.vandaag.be/entertainment/79483_bbc-bant-benaming-voorna-christus.html
http://www.gva.be/nieuws/media-en-cultuur/aid1080207/bbc-bant-benaming-voor-na-christus.aspx
http://deredactie.be/cm/vrtnieuws/cultuur%2Ben%2Bmedia/media/110925_ChristusBBC

Piss-takey Guardian article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/the-lay-scientist/2011/sep/25/1

http://i.imgur.com/SpE3J.png

Fuck those people piss me off. Fine, give yourself zero chance of recovery, but don't con others into your dumb fairyland shit. This "Fiona" wants to get one (1) clinical study and sodding well read it. ANGRY.

By that I mean by all means cut out meat or whatever but taking down medical treatments? What the hell is wrong with oh no i've fallen into the daily mail's honey pot haven't i

I think it's more of a turd pot.

kind of o_0 at grimey Simon Heffer only being 51 years old [via the Guardian interview today]

like I remember being maybe 15 and reading the Mail at my gran's house and thinking "who is this ridiculous rightwing dinosaur"

except in a few years I will be the age he in fact was then, and presumably still thinking that

sobering

Dacre laying down the law at the Leveson inquiry - he's never going to make it as an after dinner speaker.

Oops forgot the link - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15273670