The Locking of the Avril Thread

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I was wondering about all this big head shit

― ..., Friday, 18 June 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

he's still got a big head, bu it's really the nose that does it.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

the Macchio comparisons do seem apposite.

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it looks like he's pressing a tracking device onto her back.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

he's never been that close with a woman before.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, I am not bangin' on Andrew - honest! But then again, I'm a windbag, and I always wanna talk about something for ages before actually taking action - & I also almost always, when somebody says "this is the worst thread ever" or somesuch, think: "why? 'cause it's a little out of control? That's ok: the UNIVERSE got born when things got a little out of control!" since obviously our eventual goal here is the formation of a new galaxy of which I am King

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I think he's just wiping off some snot.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

btw, that thread lock was quite wrong and I am still holding a grudge about a very unfairly deleted thread of mine from months ago--I meant to ask andrew to justify, then, but maybe he can, now.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

P.S. Avril is so horribly ugly that I suspect she has hypno-beams in her eyeballs that cause large numbers of people to declare her attractive and purchase her sub-Shania new-country-in-teen-pop-clothing records

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

the formation of a new galaxy of which I am King

FUCK YOU Darn1elle -- Dan and I have dibs on that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Good god, that's the most disturbing picture yet.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

sub-Shania new-country-in-teen-pop-clothing records

Well, obviously, every new-country person is sub-Shania because Shania is a goddess. Avril is cute.

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Looks like David Hasselhoff.

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Look, do we have to do this?

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe you're a dickhead.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Look, do we have to do this?
No - of course not, and I'm being sincere: it's my understanding that the moderators reserve the right to lock at their discretion, and I trust all of you with that - this isn't an "oh my god, the fascists!" thread. I just really didn't get how come that deserved locking: the winding-up Calum was getting seemed unusually good-humored, and as I say he seemed to be taking it pretty well. I'm not fuming or angry or anything, just kinda puzzled, and as I say, I'm a windbag & it's in my disposition to wanna talk about stuff until I get it. Couple my longwindedness with my generally acknowledged brainlessness and you got this thread, which means no offense.

RJG Andrew is not a dickhead, can we not name-call pls

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

it was in the interests of hilarity.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

richard isn't there a thread elsewhere in need of some commas?

― are 'friends' electricsound? (electricsound), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

< /old jess>

― are 'friends' electricsound? (electricsound), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

interesting.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

it was in the interests of hilarity

QED I am kinda slow

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

YOU GUYS HAVE THE LOWER CASE MARKET CORNERED.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I say he seemed to be taking it pretty well

I idly note that it is his strategy to seem like this at times.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

AVRIL WAS ADORABLE IN RED EYELINER ON SNL DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has been mocked by a Nederator.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread title should be made into a big budget action thriller with sean connery sean bean and sean carruthers

― ..., Friday, 18 June 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

SEANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

and Ralph Macchio, he needs the work.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

pope dan wants to recover the cross of st avril

― ..., Friday, 18 June 2004 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

RALPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

COUSIN LARRY!!!!!!!

http://www.bronsonpinchot.20m.com/images/psgrp_bl.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my god.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

http://members.ee.net/jtc/balloon.jpg

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

this thread title should be made into a big budget action thriller with sean connery sean bean and sean carruthers

right the H.M.S. Avril Thread is like a luxury liner only Captain Waddell is insane and is steering it toward a terrible vortex which will transport everybody to a Stone Roses concert and everybody on board is, like, me, an' shit, and so we all really hate the Stone Roses except for "Fool's Gold" which is obviously genius, but we know from the closed-circuit that they already done played that one and sure an' nobody wants to hear anything else by those guys so we're all storming the captain's cabin, and we can hear the second-tier britpop bands blaring through his boombox and it's makin' us crazy, but somehow we get in, but the shit-waves from the bad music cause the gears to gum shut and now we're gonna see the Stone Roses whether we like it or not, omg The Locking of the Avril Thread coming this summer to a wall in a hangar someplace during an acidhouse rave near you

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Now sing that to "Sloop John B" -- or "Sloop John D" if you like.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

RALPHIE

http://content.clearchannel.com/Photos/male_celebrities/joe_pantoliano_HBO.jpg

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

You're right, sundar.

http://nf.wh3rd.net/files/ilx/avrilsnl1.jpg http://nf.wh3rd.net/files/ilx/avrilsnl2.jpg
http://nf.wh3rd.net/files/ilx/avrilsnl3.jpg http://nf.wh3rd.net/files/ilx/avrilsnl4.jpg

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

What the hell's that thing?

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:27 (twenty-one years ago)

A dress.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

oh my God you guys have problems, she is so completely ugly and not in an "I don't like popular people" indie-kneejerk way but in a "she looks like a very ugly rodent, meaning no disrespect to my friends in the rodent population" way

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Calum: "I liked the part with the explosions and the bits where the man's head got blowed off. I didn't understand the bits with the talking. "The Locking of the Avril Thread" (18) gets a CRW Three Star
Rekommendasun! Take a cushion."

― ..., Friday, 18 June 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

No way! She looks mynxy.

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

my friends in the rodent population

Elaborate.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Come on, man. She's not hideous in the above shots. The top-left airbrushed one makes her look damn fine, IMO. (Obviously the reality differs somewhat)

(xxpost)

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

that's the only one where she doesn't look good, dude

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

She's no Katie Holmes-in-red-eyeliner, that's for damn sure.

But the new "I'm not giving it up, no way" song is almost perfect.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

but as Edina says..."she's THIN"!
Anyone thin is by default not ugly in today's world.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's one of those deals with me where once something's looked one way, all future representations are gonna look like they're trying to cover up the REALITY, man - the top-left one is painted-over in the grand SNL tradition, but in the one just right of that you can see that she's got, like, ten cubic feet of head but only six cubic feet of face, and most of that's concentrated along the appallingly scrunched-up eye-nose axis. Just like an Egyptian spiny mouse. And I do love Egyptian spiny mice, but only as friends.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone thin is by default not ugly in today's world.

*chokes*

― are 'friends' electricsound? (electricsound), Friday, 18 June 2004 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 692 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

it's political correctness gone mad

― are 'friends' electricsound? (electricsound), Monday, 21 June 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

wrong thread, electricsound?

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 21 June 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

it's correct madness gone political

― omg, Monday, 21 June 2004 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

hardly

(xpost)

― are 'friends' electricsound? (electricsound), Monday, 21 June 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

$0.02: momus is conservative because his conception of art and his appreciation of beauty is (willfully?) narrow and (willfully?) solipsistic.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 21 June 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought you might have meant the michael moore one. but you're right.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 21 June 2004 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

when i was taking a cig break at work friday (i now work in lower manhattan), i was approached by 2 lubavichers who thought i was jewish. i told them that i wasn't, and they politely bid me adieu.

does that count?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 21 June 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

You were not the Messiah.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 21 June 2004 04:02 (twenty-one years ago)

that i was smoking should've been the tip-off. i bet that the moshiach won't be a smoker.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 21 June 2004 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

An old Jew once lost his snuffbox made of horn, on his way to the House of Study. He wailed: ‘Just as if the dreadful exile weren't enough, this must happen to me! Oh me, oh my, I've lost my snuffbox made of horn!' And then he came upon the sacred goat. The sacred goat was pacing the earth, and the tips of his black horns touched the stars. When he heard the old Jew lamenting, he leaned down to him, and said, ‘Cut a piece from my horns, whatever you need to make a new snuffbox.'

The old Jew did this, made a new snuffbox, and filled it with tobacco. Then he went to the House of Study and offered everyone a pinch. They snuffed and snuffed, and everyone who snuffed it cried: ‘Oh, what wonderful tobacco! It must be because of the box. Oh, what a wonderful box! Wherever did you get it?' So the old man told them about the good sacred goat. And then one after the other they went out on the street and looked for the sacred goat.

The sacred goat was pacing the earth and the tips of his black horns touched the stars. One after another the people went up to him and begged permission to cut off a bit of his horns. Time after time the sacred goat leaned down to grant the request. Box after box was made and filled with tobacco. The fame of the boxes spread far and wide. At every step he took, the sacred goat met someone who asked for a piece of his horns.

Now the sacred goat still paces the earth – but he has no horns.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 21 June 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"See this is why I love ILE. Plato, Barthes, Breton, Seneca and Ducasse are invoked in the midst of a heated exchange about netiquette - all within about 20 posts."

OTM. I'm just sittin' back with popcorn, enjoying the show.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 21 June 2004 04:49 (twenty-one years ago)

The way I see it, there's a lot of brilliant writers here NOW DON'T GET SHY ITS TRUE and they simply need a pretext for pyrotechnics. Avril Lavigne will do fine. It's like when a bunch of physicists and chaos theorists get together for a series of hi-tech experiments to determine whether there's any validity to the butter side down rule.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 21 June 2004 04:52 (twenty-one years ago)

the music mole's simile is apt.
i wish i didn't write so crap

(Sorry about that lame-ass rhyme,
I have neither the creativity nor time
To conjure up something worthwhile
But at least it's more fun than turning dials!)

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 21 June 2004 05:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's my personal favourite. It reminds me of Erasmus Darwin:

Let me repeat, J0hn, I do think it's relevant;
All binaries compel us to privilege one element.
You say you weren't privileging 'roots' above 'becoming'
Then why did you say 'roots' without 'becoming' was 'just' something?

You wanted to have your cake and eat it too;
Eating without having wasn't good enough for you?

-- Momus

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 21 June 2004 05:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't read any of this crap, but man do i love raccoons!!

http://www.fisherycrisis.com/racoons.jpg

― Bull from 'Night Court' (Adrian Langston), Monday, 21 June 2004 09:30 (twenty-one years ago)

the truth about momus' eye

http://www.loomcom.com/raccoons/gallery/jpegs/bite-face1.jpg

― Bull from 'Night Court' (Adrian Langston), Monday, 21 June 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

they eat food with their tiny hands like people!!

http://www.loomcom.com/raccoons/gallery/jpegs/tea-party8.jpg

― Bull from 'Night Court' (Adrian Langston), Monday, 21 June 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

they also wash it, which is why giving them soap is so much fun!

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Monday, 21 June 2004 10:16 (twenty-one years ago)

(fuck washing a racoon etc)

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Monday, 21 June 2004 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

binaries of necessity privilege one element.
this is why we should reject them

J0hn, your position here is absurd
He who doesn't use binaries doesn't use words!

The difference between our positions is, dontchaknow
Mine is pragmatic, yours braggadocio

I reject binaries after I've ridden 'em
You use them daily, but then -- whoops -- you've hidden 'em!

― Momus (Momus), Monday, 21 June 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Momus, could it be your antics
Owe something to Tibetan tantrics?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 21 June 2004 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously someone say BLURILLAZ or post the picture of gareth staring at the phone or something and we can lock this bitch

the picture of gareth i wish i had,
here's the next best thing instead

http://us.f2.yahoofs.com/users/eb5f5b5_m40c466cd/bc/8cf0/__sr_/140f.jpg?phKht1ABPIz6nA8g

ken in new york as he pretends
to be gareth who would stand

on the road with pint in hand
with phone he can't comprehend

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 21 June 2004 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

M, I don't claim
not to use them myself:

I only assert
that your "use then discard" claim

is hogwash:
which it is.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 21 June 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

("why we should reject them":
well, we should! that we don't or can't as of yet

oughtn't reduce us
to models of partisanship

like your good
self.)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 21 June 2004 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

(as a final aside before we return
to the question you successfully derailed

us from, namely, your inexplicable
defense of Vice and its open,

demonstrated, asked-and-answered
racism:

"I use them and discard them" makes me wonder
if it's cool with you

for a person to vote Bush
as long as she isn't registered Republican.)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 21 June 2004 11:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Is riding and rejecting binaries
Dualism - in nondual finery?

The reason being, if I say
I discard my theories every day
Could this harden into another lie
More dogma with which to live life by?

Its seems through words it can't be settled
Can a theory grasp the nettle?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 21 June 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cyberarium.com/images/misc6199/mkglove.jpg
http://www.cyberarium.com/images/misc6199/cncious.jpg
http://www.cyberarium.com/images/misc6199/maddctr.jpg

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Monday, 21 June 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow. This is sure a lot more interesting than when threads get locked at the evangelical christian message board I used to hang out at!

― Kevin Erickson, Wednesday, 30 June 2004 10:48 (twenty-one years ago)

seven months pass...

I still want that lasergator!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 31 January 2005 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

I forget, what did the raccoon have to do with anything?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 25 September 2006 16:45 (nineteen years ago)

let's talk more about the 'mods on salary' concept.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 25 September 2006 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

http://a123.g.akamai.net/f/123/12465/1d/media.canada.com/gallery/avrilwedding/avrilwedding01.jpg?size=l

Kinda moot now, innit

― Jimmy Mod's Champion Erotic Fantasy Team 2006 (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Monday, 25 September 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

the deep poetry battle between darnlelle and momus would be awesome if they were both actually famous.

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Monday, 25 September 2006 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://blog.oregonlive.com/steveduin/2007/07/large_scan0001.jpg

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 24 November 2007 21:53 (eighteen years ago)

I am looking for the original Avril thread. I can't even remember what it was about! ...Avril?

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 24 November 2007 21:58 (eighteen years ago)

If you met Avril Lavigne at a party and she was well drunk would you lie to her about her music in the hope of copping a feel?

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Saturday, 24 November 2007 22:01 (eighteen years ago)

Snap! I never thought that one would be it.

― roxymuzak, Saturday, 24 November 2007 22:03 (eighteen years ago)

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