If you met Avril Lavigne at a party and she was well drunk would you lie to her about her music in the hope of copping a feel?

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Think hard about this. It COULD well happen!

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:13 (nineteen years ago) link

only if shee was at the viper room.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:19 (nineteen years ago) link

(it's surprisingly small BTW)

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:21 (nineteen years ago) link

that's what avril said about C-Man.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:22 (nineteen years ago) link

(set up... and spike.)

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:22 (nineteen years ago) link

Man, that girl is sooo hot. Shame that she's got rocks in her head, but what do you expect?

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:23 (nineteen years ago) link

""Lose Yourself" video, I was in the back
"Superman" video, I was in the back"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Not everyone is invited to the Viper Room, you know

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Did you meet her? If you did, did you casually pat her bum and say, "You're doin' good hot cheeks".

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:24 (nineteen years ago) link

looks like someone is copping a feel here!!!!!!!

http://www.thehorrorpost.com/Calum/caltobegav.jpg

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:27 (nineteen years ago) link

British people in hot weather

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh stop it.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:40 (nineteen years ago) link

P.S. Where'd you get that from?

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:41 (nineteen years ago) link

It looks like either you and speilberg jr. are trying to play human handpuppet with each other.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:42 (nineteen years ago) link

i image-googled "calum waddell human handpuppet" and that was the first result.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh you lie! You got that through someone you little bugger.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:45 (nineteen years ago) link

what do you get if you leave out 'human'?

(xpost)

― are 'friends' electricsound? (electricsound), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:45 (nineteen years ago) link

what would happen if avril lavigne googled "callum waddell" while she was eating a cucumber sandwich with jack osbourne and they intensely pored over each entry while a small pomeranian humped jack's calf?

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:48 (nineteen years ago) link

R we gonne be nice or R we gonna be nasty?

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:50 (nineteen years ago) link

nutty

― are 'friends' electricsound? (electricsound), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Nicety, or whatever you wanna call it
Ask my opinion and I think that all it is
Is just an excuse to get in the boots
The dollar and cents, and remain innocent
Dre with the ruthless attack, check it
Cause all that you talkin about aint Jack
Step off of that, try a new approach
You get smoked because I aint no joke, yeah, yeah

― michelle f dr dre (gygax!), Thursday, 17 June 2004 22:52 (nineteen years ago) link

OMG BEST FUNNY EVER, GYGAX!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@@!!!!!!!!

― IAN JOHNSON + JON WILLIAMS + LAURA E + ANDREW LR (allocryptic), Friday, 18 June 2004 00:08 (nineteen years ago) link

[BOREDOMS REFERENCE]

― JW (allocryptic), Friday, 18 June 2004 00:08 (nineteen years ago) link

would you lie to her about her music

What, like 'you saved punk'?

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 18 June 2004 00:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Special n4k3d p1cs of Avr1l (DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE NOT CALUM)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 June 2004 00:55 (nineteen years ago) link

*gets comfy*

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 18 June 2004 00:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd say that makes you a sick, heartless bastard personally, but hopefully someone will click on that shocking picture and want to learn more about animal welfare and the cruel sham that is the vivisection industry.

― C-Man (C-Man), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:04 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd just rail her in the butt, all sly-like.

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:06 (nineteen years ago) link

t/s sick, heartless bastard vs. too drunk at too early an hour

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:07 (nineteen years ago) link

part and parcel, nickalicious.

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:11 (nineteen years ago) link

C-Man has a big, ugly-lookin' head.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:16 (nineteen years ago) link

if it wasn't for his gut I'd say it was at least 45 - 50% of his body weight.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:17 (nineteen years ago) link

There's no excuse for that Nick. No excuse at all.

― C-Man (C-Man), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Calum Avril Lavigne is so hideously ugly that it makes me sad you'd make her the subject of one of your people-I'd-wank-to threads. TS: Avril's face vs. a bowl of Alpo

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:18 (nineteen years ago) link

LOOK AT CALUM'S FACE, J0hn!

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:20 (nineteen years ago) link

the shame, the eyebrows, the potato-like sheen

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Calum Avril Lavigne

it's got a ring to it

― ..., Friday, 18 June 2004 01:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Someone is on this board who is a friend of someone I'm in email contact with, and I think I know who it is. Pathetic. I knew I could trace back that picture. Never knew a certain someone on my wee email list would be so sad as to pass it around though.

― C-Man (C-Man), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:22 (nineteen years ago) link

Just so we understand our terms here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/totp/star_snaps/20030821/images/avril.jpg

vs.
http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/f9/d3/petsDogsFoodAllAlpo_Prime_Cuts_Canned_Dog_Food-resized200.gif

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:23 (nineteen years ago) link

xpost to C-Man - what's not wee IS YOUR BIG FRICKIN' HEAD, MAN! HOW DOES THAT NOT COME UNBOLTED?!?!?

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:23 (nineteen years ago) link

NB you gotta imagine opening the cans of Alpo and transferring their contents to a bowl to get the full effect

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Calum Avril Lavigne, Unusually Manic? Reboot! Or Beware Ergonomic Rotors Twisting. Why Are Dead Dogs Eaten, Lloyd Llewelyn?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:24 (nineteen years ago) link

hstencil - blah, blah, blah. Tell it to someone who cares dude.

― C-Man (C-Man), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:24 (nineteen years ago) link

Woah, Ned. That's brillliant.

― Lo Boob Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:24 (nineteen years ago) link

Perhaps not formatted the best way for maximum effect, actually.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:25 (nineteen years ago) link

dude C-man I'm concerned for your health - your neck muscles canna take the strain, cap'n!

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:25 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.jockeysridgestatepark.com/images/animals/lg/raccoon.jpg
"OH MY GOD CALLUM PLEASE MAKE THE FUCK WITH ME!?!?!?!"

― Avril Lavigne, Friday, 18 June 2004 01:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Yawn. Is that the best you can come up with?

― C-Man (C-Man), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Disappointed guys. I'm barely even giggling so far.

― C-Man (C-Man), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:27 (nineteen years ago) link

now you know how we feel.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:29 (nineteen years ago) link

This gonna get 100 posts at least.

― C-Man (C-Man), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:30 (nineteen years ago) link

Most of which will eventually be yours, obv.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:30 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.borealforest.org/zoo/raccoon.jpg
Chill out, whatcha yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if, you could only let it be
you would see
I like you, the way you are
When we're, drivin' in your car
and you're, talking to me one on one but you've become
Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool, you look like a fool to me
Tell me
Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
acting like you're somebody else gettin' me frustrated
Life's like this you
you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into
honestly you promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no
You come, over unannounced
dressed up, like you're somethin' else
where you, are and where it's at you see
you're making me
laugh out, when you strike your pose
take off, all your preppy clothes
you know, you're not fooling anyone
when you've become
Somebody else round everyone else
your Watching your back, like you can't relax
Trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me
Tell me
Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
acting like you're somebody else gettin me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into
honestly you promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no
Chill out, whatcha yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if, you could only let it be
You would see
Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back, like you can't relax
You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me
Tell me
Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
acting like you're somebody else gettin me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into
honestly you promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
acting like you're somebody else gettin me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into
honestly you promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no

― Avril Lavigne, Friday, 18 June 2004 01:31 (nineteen years ago) link

maybe he'll put that gigantor noggin to ~~good~~ use, Ned.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Avril's head is so disproportionately giant that she could eat Calum's head and still have room for several pounds of back bacon

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:33 (nineteen years ago) link

mmm salted calum

― are 'friends' electricsound? (electricsound), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:34 (nineteen years ago) link

I think I had some of that in Scotland, they serve it with beer

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:35 (nineteen years ago) link

http://cas.bellarmine.edu/tietjen/HumanBioogy/Finished%20Images/Hydrocephaly/tcge009.jpg

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:36 (nineteen years ago) link

He was a boy, she was a girl/her head was larger than Jupiter

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:37 (nineteen years ago) link

This is an incredibly stupid thread.

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 18 June 2004 01:37 (nineteen years ago) link

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