Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

hard to really argue with trying to brain someone that was holding your family hostage tbh.

The point being "at what point do you stop kicking the hostage taker's head in?" ...

hard to really argue with trying to brain someone that was holding your family hostage tbh.

Catching him in the street after he's fled your house and your family is safe then going and getting a cricket bat, a metal pole and a hockey stick and beating his brains out isn't exactly the same thing.

yeah i specifically said 'brain' i mean let's get the pavement messy here people

Liz Jones learns what it's like to be homeless

that got the full treatment on the DM hate thread. tbh this thread should be locked.

Oops - sorry.

That really isn't parody? It read exactly like an Onion article.

where is the DM hate thread?

Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

This Liz Jones column, however, is so hilariously head-in-clouds insular bubbleworld that it belongs in the Love thread.

tbh this thread should be locked.

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b379/Vietgrove/missbossy.jpg

it wasn't meant literally! 'twas a statement of lovelessness

I just knew Liz Jones would have a macbook:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/12/26/article-1238565-05B7D005000005DC-526_468x352.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1269288/STEPHEN-HAWKING-How-build-time-machine.html

The URL says it all. No mention of whether a wormhole would help immigrants get in or stop them.

Shame they're no longer accepting comments for this article, I was just going to post that this disgraceful freak should be sent back to the robot universe he came from. And maybe a bible quote about how THE LORD said thou shalt not travel in thyme.

How about travelling in parsley?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1278757/LIZ-JONES-To-4-100-answered-heart--thank-you.html

I won’t go into why I found myself unable to afford food, heating, petrol...When you have no money, people assume it’s because you’re ...profligate

Read your own columns recently, hen?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1278583/Young-people-drinking-neat-vodka-EYE-quick-buzz.html

Peer pressure: Even respected, intelligent students from normal, sensible backgrounds are vodka eyeballing

While medical experts say it is still a relatively new phenomenon, a quick glance at the internet reveals how rife it has become among young drinkers in Britain.

Speaking of a quick glance at the internet...
http://gawker.com/5540166/vodka-eyeballing-the-dumbest-trend-piece-ever

What the Mail have done is find one woman who damaged her eye while pouring vodka in it as a student stunt and convinced their readers that this is a sweeping trend

It would be easy, of course, to dismiss Melissa as nothing more than a silly 'ladette'. But it is hard to reconcile that stereotype with the young woman she is today, fresh out of university in London with a first-class English degree, the privately-educated daughter of financiers, and an aspiring writer.

o rite then

Because students don't ever do stupid things while drinking, do they?

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/05/15/article-1278583-098F1CEE000005DC-329_468x375.jpg

WS

er, yeah well you know how to click on a url

james murphy could not be reached for comment as of press time

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1278510/Depression-Its-just-new-trendy-illness.html

^think this is what they call a 'shot fired'

This relatively new ailment appeared on my radar a couple of years ago

Idiot

that is an hilarious genius at work, but i'm not sure she knows it.

I beg to differ, that's an irredemably vile harridan at work

irredeemably vile people can be amusing

starts like an actual glenda slagg piece:

There's a big black cloud hanging over parts of the UK, and it's not going away. No, not volcanic ash stoopid - depression I'm talking about.

nah when you get down as far as the publicising of her own empowerment books that it really takes the plunge into black hilarity

Cloud appeared about a fortnight ago iirc

tbh i can't be arsed to read it

missing out, seriously

TBF I bet Janet Street Porter meets a lot of people who have suddenly become depressed.

Maybe you have not had the pleasure of seeing Janet Street-Porter, darragh, in acrion, believe me, she is one of the least amusing people I've ever seen in my life

in acrion? In action, I mean.

To be double fair the Daily Mail is Britain's leading newspaper for endless coverage of imaginary illnesses developed by middle class people with too much time on their hands.

tbh i can't be arsed to read it

I didn't read the whole thing, obv.!

I mean, after communist social worker house price stories, everything you eat is going to kill you stories are their whole steez.

To be double fair the Daily Mail is Britain's leading newspaper for endless coverage of imaginary illnesses developed by middle class people with too much time on their hands.

The competition is fierce though

i've seen her plenty, can't believe she hasn't swallowed her own tongue by now tbh.

sometimes you have to laugh, that's all. it's obviously a disgusting piece by an awful person, but at the same time it's funy because of the depth of feckless stupidity involved.

It's the kind of story that makes you hope somebody dear to the author goes down with severe depression in the next month, but someone dear to JSP = JSP, er, that's it

Chucklesome, after a fashion, I suppose:

But let's take a moment to consider whether depression is common among the poor or the working class?

she's been talking to john gregory, right?

The whole notion of stress simply did not exist a few years ago - it's become a by-product of the ' megeneration' that grew up in the Sixties and wanted to try everything, from drink to drugs to sex.

Yeah remember pre-1960 when the suicide rate was zero?

and people didn't drink or have sex

miraculously, 90 per cent of us, don't get depressed about it, don't take special medication and don't whinge about 'black holes'. That's life in the real world.

Given that the incidence of mental health problems in adults is roughly 10 per cent, this is an absolute stunna of a closing argument.