Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating?

xpost

Oh no! You didn't cancel that subscription!

WHAT TEH FUCK ARE YUO DOING?!?!?

That said, while I doubt any harm whatsoever is going to come to a baby who watches someone masturbate, it's still easy enough to maintain a little privacy and put the baby (or yourself) elsewhere. The baby shouldn't have to watch you jerk off, you know? So, you know, why not? Especially if it isn't your baby.

I hadn't even thought of that...

If you're babysitting, just call the parents and ask them if it's okay.

"Hi, Uncle Steve, I just wandered if it was... OK to... wank next to your baby?" - this is making me roffle like a madman.

(I know I'm offended but you can do time for it?)

Is it wrong for a couple to have sex while their baby is sleeping in the same room, knowing that the baby might wake up? Or if the baby isn't sleeping at all? Or for a couple to have sex in their bedroom, with their children sleeping in adjoining room, even though they might wake up and hear the noises? How are these things different from the original poster's question?

You forgot that it could have sperm in his eye.

EW!

I'm trying to think of all the posters who recently became a parent.

up and down their COCK.

with their genitals growing bigger and then stuff squirting out of it.

anyway i think the worst part is you knowing the baby being there and still doing it. i mean, that's like sick. it's almost as bad as shagging in a room where there's a huge photo of your parents somewhere in it.

dude i think it has.

And you think an infant of that age has some conception of what such movement means? I was at least ten before I learned it.

do you think it's alright to be whacking one off in an intensive care ward next to someone in a coma?

(x-post)

xpost.

I said children present, not with children. The incest taboo exists in most cultures and times. The youngsters older Athenian men had sex with had reached puberty, I think, they were probably older than 12. Of course it sounds wrong from today's point of view, but it's kinda hard to judge such an ancient past with todaysä standards. It was part of a young man's life cycle back then, I doubt most of the were traumatized by it, since it was part of everyday life.

No, and there's a difference. Female circumcision does concrete physical harm to women. Wanking before a baby most likely doesn't affect it all, not even mentally.

xpost

Just don't open up the can of worms of whether fat people are sexy.

(note: They're not)

No, but the baby isn't aware of things like a teenager is.

Jesus Christ, man, for sure society could stand to loosen up about sexuality a little, but exposing infants to adult sexuality is surely not the place to start.

xpost Tuomas you really, really ought to check out some of the available research about what infants are & aren't aware of

heh heh "things"

He finds a thread called "Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating?", curious by the moral implications of this question, young Mika clicks. The words "ADULT CONTENTS" appeared on the screen, and the computer asked Mika whether he was old enough to view the contents, "well, in ancient greece i would have been buggered by a dude by my age, so i guess so!", as he clicks, he finds in horror that his uncle Tuomas thought in 2005 that masturbating next to babies are okay and any concepts of wrongness are purely based on social conditioning. Then he remembered his mother told him that, when he was young, uncle Tuomas used to babysit for him. Cold sweat started the roll down Mika's face.

He went to confront his uncle Tuomas.

Mika "hi uncle Tuomas"
Tuomas "yo! Mika wassup"
Mika "erm, you know you used to babysit me right when i were a baby?"
Tuomas "oooh yeah. good times"
Mika "did you ever get lonely on your own with me?"
Tuomas "mm sometimes"
Mika "do you like, ever grow a boner whilst babysitting me?"
Tuomas "er.. what an odd question!"
Mika "just answer me!"
Tuomas "well, sometimes. i was above social taboos and so i had boners whenever i damn well pleases"
Mika "what do you do when you get the boners"
tuomas "i jerk off of course!"
mika "arrrrrrrrrrrgh"

hahahahahaha!

Sure they're aware, and I'm not suggesting a shield, but I am saying that there's a big difference between "mom and dad are doing something private and I have some ideas about it" and "dad has his cock out." "Aware" isn't the same as "exposed to."

Okay, what it boils down is, can an infant less than a year old thgink "dad has his cock out", and be somehow traumatized by it? If you think so, I guess there's no point in further debate.

(x-post)

Mädchen, do you think that, for example, parent who have sex in their bedroom while their baby is in the crib in the same room should be put to trial?

xpost

And to what?

(Tuomas: the infant doesn't have language, so it can't think "dad's playing with his boner." But he/she does know something's going on, and saves the information its its little brane. This theory can be taken to ridiculous ends of speculation - $c13n+0l0gy for example - but the core's true: infants are aware, and the things you see shape your opinion. It is not healthy to see your father masturbating at any age, unless you paid cash money for it and are allowed to film it, in which case it's cool.

Have an apple, it's Nature's Toothbrush.

-- J.D. (aubade8...) (webmail), December 5th, 2005. (Justyn Dillingham) (later)

If people really can't see the any difference between what I'm saying and justifying incest, then I guess there's no point at all in having this conservation.

Tuomas: the infant doesn't have language, so it can't think "dad's playing with his boner." But he/she does know something's going on, and saves the information its its little brane. This theory can be taken to ridiculous ends of speculation - $c13n+0l0gy for example - but the core's true: infants are aware, and the things you see shape your opinion. It is not healthy to see your father masturbating at any age, unless you paid cash money for it and are allowed to film it, in which case it's cool.

I don't think there's any clear consensus on development psychology on what the child is aware of (a small infant probably is aware of movement, but how on earth can it attach a concept like "masturbation" - or any concept at all - to it, which would be necessary for it to "remember" dad wanking later on), and especially on whether and how things in our infancy affect us, so you're only presenting one theory here.

That was just in the 90s with Dutroux. He's locked up now.

so in brief, it's all cultural conditioning, except for when it isn't.

cf. Exploding Testicle Syndrome

Because wanker needs the baby there to get hottttt.

although i reckon one can be cultually conditioned to think otherwise.

with their genitals growing bigger and then stuff squirting out of it.

You know some very special women, Ken.

"Why are we here?"
"Where did we come from?"
"Is it okay to masturbate in front of the baby before we go?"
"Are those nachos?"

Hey, if you want to be a cultural/moral relativist, there's no good reason not to go all the way.

for sure society could stand to loosen up about sexuality a little, but exposing infants to adult sexuality is surely not the place to start.

you can't have your cake and eat it too.

It doesn't beat the best thread ever (and coincidentally the FIRST on ILX).

xxpost

http://doityourself.com/images/sheffield/childrena0103.jpg

Put it in root beer?

squirters, duh.

dan is correct, but the original line is wrong; it should be "how do you make a dead baby float?"

carry on.

I say that less for the baby's sake and more for the masturbator's, and I say that as someone who can't even masturbate if there's, like, a cat looking, or something.

-- ken c (pykachu10...) (webmail), Today 9:33 AM. (ken c) (later) (link)

what if it's like, rolled up in a tube and lost in the back of the closet?

I have to side with tuomas's here. first off, because of the whole lack of awareness thing. and second, of what he said here:

"And I still wonder if there's a difference in how people view masturbating in a room where there is a baby, and having sex in such a room. Because, even though masturbation is considered okay these days, there's still a special stigma attached to it that enhances the "yuck"-factor."

i'm sure a greater number of people see masturbating with the baby present as wrong than two people having sex. I'm pretty much sure my folks did it with me in the room. and i dont think i'd care if my uncle jerked himself off while babysitting me. i really can't see how it would make one bit of difference.

Oh yes, just look at all of the posts here advocating boning by the baby.

"I tripped!"

MASTURBATING WITH A BABY IN THE ROOM WILL STILL BE GROSS AND WRONG NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU FUCKING MICROANALYZE IT!

THE HISTORICAL RECORD OF WHOLE FAMILIES SHARING ONE- OR TWO-ROOM DWELLINGS CAN FUCK OFF!

Aww thanks, Matt. Yer a sweetie.

XP to Ally: Haha, NO, of course now I think we can all agree that it's kind of oh, I dunno, CREEPY, if only because it's pretty damn hard to imagine how it's not easily avoidable! But in the scheme of things? Probably not that big a deal.

haha dan wins!

I just don't believe that Tuomas finds it creepy!!! Which is creepy!
-- Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyza...)

that's what i'm talking about.

fuckin next to babies has been done, and while I, in this day and age, think it's creepy, I can understand how it *wouldnt* be creepy as well. I also think cranking it next to the baby is creepy, but i'm trying to argue that while creepy, it's not necessarily morally wrong. that's why there's an argument.

I'm sorry, but unless I'm in a private room in the Playboy Mansion at least 16 of those people need to fuck right off.

I DIDNT!

xpost

you could take a dump in somebody's living room and clean it up before they come home too, but why go there?

i don't even want to think about how to explain what was going on if somebody walked in.
m.

http://www.4catsproductions.com/svu/index1.jpg

like, if you're in a desert and you take a dump, there's no water, and then you need to eat, you eat without washing your hands, oh well, what else can you do eh?

but when you're in a house with running water and soap, you take a shit, and then for some reason not washing your hands before you eat. WEIRD.

a) ken c, you were officially the funniest man in the universe until ...
b) ... a nairn turned up on strong mind-altering drugs at 5.08pm, then spent four minutes ingesting the world's remaining supply of mind-altering drugs before posting again
c) WHAT KIND OF FUCKED-UP FUCK HAS A CHUG ANYWHERE NEAR A BABY?

thank you. you may all resume where you left off.

What's the deal with Americans and nudity? [WORK-SAFE AGANE HURRAH]

Is it really true that many Americans have never seen their parents/siblings/firends naked?

perhaps not by mentally sound adult human beings, but someone has to tackle them.

-- M@tt He1geson (matt@game[remove]informer.com), December 5th, 2005.

OTM x 1,000,000,000

They were usually about sixteen or a little older--the original point was to take a young man who had just graduated from school and give him a little more guidence, education, and non-reproductive sex before he was let out on the big bad world.

BTW, if you think masturbating in front of a baby is creepy, just think about the old practice of masturbating a baby to stop them from crying.

Why it happens

Toddlers masturbate for the same reason that older children do: It feels good! Bodily exploration is part of growing up. During the toddler years, your child will learn to run, jump, throw, pump a swing, draw, and (probably) "make all her poops in the potty." She may be just as curious about her genitals as she is about her fingers, toes, and belly button — and if she's recently switched from diapers to underpants, she may be able to get to them for the first time. "When parents first see this kind of exploration, they wonder 'is this normal?'" says Meg Zweiback, a nurse practitioner and family consultant in Oakland, California. "The answer is yes, you don't need to be concerned."

What to do

Don't panic. Not everyone does it, but masturbation is a completely normal thing to do. It doesn't cause any physical ills, pose any health risks, and no, it won't turn your child into a sex maniac, either. Masturbation in toddlers isn't sexual (as it is for adults) because toddlers don't know what sex is.. And while in older children explicit sex play is often a tip-off to sexual abuse or exposure to inappropriately explicit sexual material, this is extremely unlikely to be the case with toddlers, who don't have the imaginative skills for this kind of role adoption. (A toddler who's been sexually abused is more likely to become withdrawn or suddenly have trouble sleeping.) That said, toddlers masturbate because it feels good, and the good feelings can be as pleasurable for her as they are for adults. "A toddler may masturbate herself to orgasm," says Zweiback "complete with panting, red face, and a big sigh at the end. But it's absolutely not something to be worried about."

TMI, Baby Doc!

I DEMAND GRAMMATICAL CLARIFICATION, TO MAKE THIS SENTENCE LESS...LIKE THIS SENTENCE.

Pets can turn themselves back around = not a good comparison. Also, ts: a dog watching you have sex vs. a cat watching you have sex

-- dabnis coleman's ghost (wt...), December 6th, 2005 4:11 AM. (dubplatestyle) (link)

:)

What, the IP nr was long and hard, instead of moist and soft?

I meant it's like pets in that it's easy enough to avoid doing it in front of them. (ie with a baby you can turn them around, with a pet you can put them in another room/outside)

Stab victim 'continued masturbating'
Christine Kellett
June 20, 2007 - 2:36PM

A Brisbane woman stabbed a male friend twice in the shower after he refused to stop masturbating in front of her children.

Defence lawyers for Kylie Louise Wilson, 28, said the mother of two "lost it" when her friend of six years, Daniel Peter Blair, went on a masturbation marathon on April 6 last year.

Brisbane's District Court this morning heard Mr Blair had showed up at Wilson's unit at Birkdale unit, in Redland Shire, where he took amphetamines before having a shower.

Whilst in the bathroom, Mr Blair, 32, began pleasuring himself, before moving to Wilson's bedroom, where he rolled around naked on her bed and continued his lewd conduct.

He returned to the bathroom for more and was busted by Wilson, who was attempting to bath her three-and-a-half year-old daughter.

The court heard Mr Blair refused her repeated requests to stop, prompting her to fetch a knife from the kitchen which she used to stab him twice in the left shoulder.

Crown prosecutors said Mr Blair paused only to put on his shorts and flee outside to wait for police to arrive, but was again overcome by the urge.

"Despite his injury, it seems (Mr Blair) continued to masturbate while in the garage," the prosecutor said.

Police took him to hospital where he received treatment for the minor stab wounds.

Wilson pleaded guilty to one count each of unlawful wounding and wilful damage.

Her defence barrister, Mark Johnson, said Wilson regarded Mr Blair as a "tolerably decent person" when he was not using drugs, but had become "extremely protective" of her daughter under the circumstances.

"He was in and out and round about, doing this sort of thing all over the house, " Mr Johnson said.

"She just lost it, to put it crudely."

Senior Judge Gilbert Trafford Walker accepted the Crown's submission that Wilson had been subjected to "grossly offensive conduct ... which in a moral sense amounts to extreme provocation."

He sentenced her to nine months' jail but ordered that she be immediately released on parole.

"Despite his injury, it seems (Mr Blair) continued to masturbate while in the garage

roffle. Hope the kids didn't see stabbing either.

So wait, taking speed => wank frenzy?

Like you didn't know already.

Does N3D R4GG3TT do speed?

did Tuomas ever learn what A2M was?

aching 2 masturbate

its bad for anyone but your partner to see you masturbating.

ARGH THIS THREAD.

hahaha this thread

Is it bad for a baby to see you masturbating?

Only if you don't share!

When I was a kid I did hear my parents have sex on several occasions, and once I walked into their bedroom while they were doing it, but I don't think it ruined my life in any way.

ironic disclaimer at the end of every tuomas post.

He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about

I LOVE THIS THREAD.

went on a masturbation marathon on April 6 last year.

This would be somehow a little worthier of the "marathon" description:

"went on a masturbation marathon on April 6-9 last year."

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/baby-tunnel.gif

looooooooool

I always thought of masturbation as more of a sprint than a marathon.

This thread is EPIC.

Liberals...

1st gis for "epic masturbation"

http://www.fototime.com/9C7CB5CD495FBB4/orig.jpg

That actually is some pretty epic masturbation if you need both a horse and a rifle!

that man was the baby.

nobody puts baby in a corner (and then jerks off)

It's only bad if it participates

happy new year, ILE

Good luck, Finland!

That terrified baby gif is amazing.

This is the sort of thing that I Love Baby-Making will be host to.

He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about
He was in and out and round about

Daddy's got a squeeze box
Baby never sleeps at night

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/little-jerk.jpg

that's definitely the kind of thing that should be shared with your friends & colleagues.

ILE tackles the big questions that have confounded mankind for ages!

"Why are we here?"
"Where did we come from?"
"Is it okay to masturbate in front of the baby before we go?"
"Are those nachos?"

― Dan (And So On) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:57 (3 years ago)

classic for all time

is it bad for you to see your baby masturbating?

via iphone = in the process?

is it bad for a baby on television to see you masturbating?

is it bad for a baby NOT to see you masturbating?

is it bad for masturbating for you to see a baby?

is it bad for Dancing Baby to see you masturbating?

how is dancing babby formed

Is it bad for a baby portabella to see you masturbating?

is it bad for masturbating for you to see a baby?

um YES

you're just culturally conditioned to believe that

So it only took 5 years for this board to turn into "A Serbian Film"

All thing considered, that's an eternity in Internet tine so congrats to us all for staving off hell for that long.

is it bad for masturbating babies to see?

what a thread

Uh wow. No, help.

cultural conditioning has its points.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, December 5, 2005 6:49 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol

only if it is the correct conditioning.

Also, this thread needs an overbearing Brooklyn father to come up, cuff it on the back of the head and say, "Jeeeesus Christ, what the FUCK is wrong with you?"

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, December 5, 2005 2:19 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Is it bad for dick cheney to see you masturbating

During your baby's first month, she can focus only about 20cm to 30cm away

what if it's a boy?
i bet you he could see further. because boys are better. it's science.

"He was in and out and round about, doing this sort of thing all over the house, "

Impossible not to imagine this sentence as a lyric

During your baby's first month, she can focus only about 20cm to 30cm away

will make the future repressed memories of a shuffling blur moaning to itself in Finnish all the more mysterious

It's the rest of the song I worry about...

xpost You know what? The one big ILX fallacy (oo-er) is that Tuomas was the original poster...

i was trying to get at that if the baby can see you you're doing it too close to the baby

http://efukt.com/20614_Babysitting_Fail.html

ok, moving beyond vanilla stuff, would pissing/a2m/etc be ok in front of a child, 'because it woudln't understand'?
― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, December 5, 2005 9:36 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwsDI6VBWzs

this simon guy

buncha squares

FAMILY groups are demanding The Janoskians apologise for the baby skit Little Britain star Matt Lucas slammed as ''repulsive'' and ''witless''.

In the sketch, uploaded to YouTube, members of the Glenroy boy band are seen simulating lewd acts in bus shelters, shopping centres and under escalators, with one member telling a mother "your baby's sexy''.

Leza Sullivan, of child protection group Bravehearts said: ''Simulating sexual acts in front of a child, and exposing a child to that, can be classed as sexual assault.

''Then, to make fun of it, and trivialise it, is appalling. But they took it one step too far when they started engaging actively with children.''

Bravehearts and the Australian Family Association said The Janoskians record label, Sony Music, should force their act to take the video down.

''The Sony brand should not be associated with this behaviour,'' Ms Sullivan said.

Anti-abuse lobby group, Safe Australia Movement, said the clip contains ''paedophilic references aimed at a six-week-old baby and her mother''.

''To harass a mother in such a way is abusive. Anyone that accepts this behavior is accepting abuse,'' said spokesman William Fagan.

But the group defended the video in a series of tweets on Wednesday night from their official Twitter account.

The five-member group said it didn't regret filming the video.

"OK guys so the hole (sic) purpose of public wanking is to see unseen reactions,'' the Janoskians said.

"It's never been done before and it's interesting to see reactions.

"For the people who think we took it to (sic) far have really closed minds about the subject.

"It was acting and if you couldn't tell we weren't really wanking. Not only the baby would never understand what's going on.

"The hole (sic) purpose was to see the mother's reaction ... and it was good. Definitely our favourite video.''

But Terri Kelleher, of the Australian Family Association, said the clip was ''highly offensive''.

''They should have been arrested,'' Ms Kelleher said.

Ms Kelleher added to calls for Sony to take action against the boy band and also urged parents to discourage their children from supporting The Janoskians, who are performing shows for touring giant, Live Nation, later this month.

Little Britain's Lucas took to Twitter on Wednesday night to slam the video.

''The group member claims that the baby sexually excites him and proceeds to stand by the pram while pretending to masturbate, to the obvious and not unreasonable distress of the baby's mother and grandmother,'' Lucas said.

''Am I too old to get it? Maybe I am. If so, I'm glad. It's repulsive.

''It's probably already criminal. It's certainly utterly witless.''

Sony Music did not respond to calls for comment before deadline.

christ when Matt Lucas calls you out on being repulsive and witless

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8554188288/h1477ED46/

I've totally farted on annoying kids before. but subtly, just sos I know about it, and they know about it maybe a little bit later when I'm safely away down the supermarket/bus/street

one of life's greatest pleasures tbr

crop dusting kids is really the only way to communicate with them in a language they understand

Important legal news.

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/08/europe/italy-supreme-court-masturbation/index.html

Italy's highest court has ruled that masturbation in public is not a crime, as long as it is not conducted in the presence of minors

IIRC the same law was already passed in the Netherlands?

It could have made the difference to the Brexit vote!

Just as a side light to show how the world changes, in most of the world and for most of history, poor families (meaning the vast majority) have lived in houses with one or perhaps two rooms, where everyone ate, slept and lived. That included minors along with adults. In northern Europe it often it included a few farm animals, too. Much sexual intercourse happened in those houses in spite of minors being present.

next level

https://www.romper.com/p/mom-who-breastfed-during-sex-has-a-powerful-response-for-her-critics-70099?utm_medium=owned&utm_campaign=romper&utm_source=facebook

Look, the Babybjorn was securely fastened, he'd just been fed, I really don't see why people are getting so uptight about my infant son's presence at the bestialitorgy.

and yet my wife won't let me eat a pizza during our coitus

DOUBLE STANDARD

I'm impressed by the implied mastery of physical logistics.

https://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2011/05/iStock_000013788911XSmall1.jpg

xpost Not to mention stamina. An entire pizza!

A new take, found in Elizabeth Von Arnim's The Caravaners

"My hearers will agree with me that such raptures are well enough in a young girl in a white gown, with blue eyes and the washed out virginal appearence one does not dislike at eighteen before Love the Artist has pounced on it and painted it pink, and they will also I think agree that the older and married women must take care to be at all times quiet. Ejaculations of a poetic or ecstatic nature should not, as a rule, pass their lips. They may ejaculate perhaps over a young baby (if it is their own) but that is the one exception; and there is a good reason for this one, the posession of a young baby implying as a general rule a corresponding youth in its mother. I do not think however that it is nice when a woman ejaculates over, say, her tenth young baby."

Jesus fuckin christ

(yes i know it's the alternate usage of 'ejaculate')

so that's where updike got it

updike started this thread??

Tuom Updike

is it bad to masturbate in a room where Nirvana's Nevermind (1991 alternative rock album whose cover shows a naked baby boy, Spencer Elden, swimming underwater with a U.S. dollar bill on a fishhook, in front of him, just out of his reach) is on prominent display?

i love ilx

Be assured, the baby pictured on the album cannot see you masturbating, for it is only a two dimensional representation and not a real baby.

It could be the Phantom Zone

the revive that needed to happen, kudos

as soon as I saw the thread pop back up, I knew