Lads, it's the Premier League thread - EPL 2019/20

http://images.thepeoplesperson.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/12210822/GettyImages-1129212037-min.jpg

He's not ready

Grant Hanley categorically not ready.

Norwich really don't deserve this

This is going to be one of the better performances by a team that loses 8-0 isn't it

Hold on, Grant Hanley's playing in the Premiership?

In a manner of speaking.

The own goal was pretty hilarious.

But there was a span of ten minutes when it was 2-0 where Liverpool should have conceded

alisson ;_;

Plucky Pukki pulls one bakk.

more footage of Delia Smith and Alan Hansen please. i wonder what theyre saying to each other

o rite

Hansen on Delia: “My wife and I met Delia and Michael through the Radio Times. The Radio Times used to take readers to New York and back on the QEII and that's where we first met, and we've all stayed in touch and we're really good friends.”

slightly more confused/intrigued than i was before

"you can't win anything with cooks"

Norwich manager looks like a bad guy from a Steven Segal movie

He's a mean looking dude, for sure.

he looks a hardened Wehrmacht commander when he dons the full length leather jacket.

Norwich manager looks like a bad guy from a Steven Segal movie

Steven Segal isn't bad, he's ABOVE THE LAW

Has long enough passed that I can post this?

Norwich return to the Premier League. The Championship, like all good parents, will keep their room just as they left it for when they come back home next year.

— Danny Baker (@prodnose) April 27, 2019

#bantz

They're pretty decent going forward. I think they've enough to stay up. Get fucked Danny Baker

Hi I’m a Crystal Palace supporter now.

Wolverhampton here

i just like a good game (match)

Welcome all.

I’m not sure Norwich are much better equipped than Fulham to cope with the Premier League but it’ll be fun to see them try. Pukki and Leitner should score goals. I suppose it only requires Newcastle, Villa and Sheffield United to be worse.

this whole ozil/kolasinac thing seems so weird to me. are they actually being threatened by an organised gang with regard to their testimony or something?

Is there an ilx fantasy league?

there used to be but I dont think so anymore

better that way

i'd forgotten again that jack wilshere exists

oh good, VAR is going to really improve the Prem this season

the use of it for razor-thin offsides is so wrong-headed

yeah absolutely it isn't the existence of the tech i'm bitching about at this stage, but if they keep this shit up i'm gonna stop watching football

I see the league is going to be as competitive as ever.

Bournemouth finish about as well as my local team

man why wwas this the game they gave us here locally

Bournemouth look terrible

Sheffield, well, mama always said....

finally a goal

lol...Bournemouth gonna Bournemouth. give away the equalizer with 2 minutes left

silby your team got a draw....against a 10 man Everton....at home.

could be worse! a point is a point

Billy Sharp :D

Grealish has got a bit of a Cathy Dennis thing going on here now, hmm

Didn't watch a ton of Spurs last season but thought Eric Died was as poor as Trippier, be interested to see if he lasts the season as a regular

Ooh good chance for lucas

Eric died lol

Danny Rose might end up outlasting Poch.

Lol not deliberate
Xp

Grealish can't pull off that look like Patrick Berger could.

Actually watched a snide broadcast of everton v palace in an everton pub... never felt in much danger of exposing myself with extravagant gloating goal celebrations.

Glass half full: we gritted out a point we didn't deserve

Half empty: we played shit and should have been stuffed and are definitely going down if that's the best we've got

wanna hear darragh on that goal

Lol, starting like we ended last season.

One punt down the middle

Sweet pass, way too easy. Spurs will still win I think but hella shakey at the back.

disgrace

Villa have looked the more dangerous side since they scored.

hateful hateful sport

Weak finish, didn't channel his namesake enough.
Aside from the moura chance the quality of spurs' crosses has been excreable

playing like they just expect goals to come to them

This whole 45 has been an excellent argument as to why we shouldn't sell Eriksen.

silby your team got a draw....against a 10 man Everton....at home.

could be worse! a point is a point

― i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, August 10, 2019 8:54 AM (one hour ago)

I caught the thrilling final moments in the form of the text feed on FlashScore. Not a bad start to my career as an English football fan

Harry Kane gots the yips.

saved by the offside flag

Twitter Spurs fans giving up

We start where we left off last year. #Liverpool and #ManCity thrashing the opposition. I feel if #Spurs don’t beat ManCity next week then season over. It’s that predictable #Football #DeathOfFoorball #MoneyRuinsTheGame #LevelPlayingField

— Dylan Lewis (@DesignFourTweet) August 10, 2019

No top 4 this season #spurs #THFC #THFC

— HETSPURS (@HETSPURS) August 10, 2019

You can kind of see why all them players turned #Spurs down this week 😂😂

— Simon John 🎅🎄🎁🎅🎄🎁🎅 (@LoveSimon88) August 10, 2019

@HETSPURS

lol Twitter fans

Good to see a St Mirren player scoring in the EPL.

Out for a throw in ,jesus

what the fuuuuck

Lol at level playing field hashtag. When has this ever been the case?

also death to "foorball" hashtag

we have a "level playing field" in the States' top flight league via a salary cap and limit on number of international players. the result is a league full of shit teams and a few ok ones.

amazing throughball to the invisible forward

throwin my god

Can't help but think it's a little early for Villa to be camped inside their own box.
MLS sounds not that dissimilar to the epl when you put it like that

Kane is the best crosser Spurs have unfortunately

yes bus parking for 35 minutes will be a losing game.

who dy'all think the first sub will be

great, Serpico's on the field now

Haven't seen the benches but I assume eriksen is there and will be on first. Is llorente still at Spurs?

with the caveat that the shifting of the Overton window now means every position between third and 17th is midtable, this is absolutely a midtable team

If llorente has left does that mean that the entirety of Spurs striking options are Kane/son/moura?

And Troy Parrott, though he is a) not on the bench and b) legally a child.

Who are all really good but son/moura aren't really a stylistic replacement for kane obviously.

"oh hey the goalie is off his line, I'm going to strike a slow, bouncing shot towards goal"

Boom

lol i'm on a one minute delay, wonder what will happen

Calmly done

woooooow

Wesley has been shit at holding the ball up for villa

still a shit result though if they don't get another goal

Ooh free kick let's see the new attacker can't be in the wall rule

búm

Ooh save

Is Sanchez playing at CF?

Ndombele really feeling it right now, he's barca era ronaldinho in his head atm

XP llorente replacement

looks like a handball to me

Co-commentator "Danny rose is the only Tottenham outfield player not to have a shot on target"
Graphic -shots on target Spurs 5.????

Routine win

Never in doubt.

Sloppy grealish

that's unfortunate (for AV), helluva break for Tottenham

Cue motd bore later tonight going on about getting punished for mistakes "at this level"

Clinical finish.

Wonderful

Villa have offered little this half.

Oliver Oliver Oliver skiiiiip

at least I feel better for the family of 4 who went to their first Spurs match that they're not going to go home with daddy in a severe mood, his spouse admonishing him for cussing in the car in front of the kiddies

Villa basically parked the bus the moment they had their first goal.

xp
typical ilx spurs fan not merely cussing in front of the lil' perisher, more like throwing the bairn out with the gripewater!

villa had a few good chances in first half and imo shouldve had a peno

but they'll play better teams than that

goals were good viewed in isolation but struggling to feel invested in watching us grind out a win while being crap and boring

in the exact same manner as last season

Not very good but not a catastrophe by any means. Difficult to say anything about our chances this season till we play against a team closer to our level where we see a bit more of the ball. Encouraged by McGinn, Mings, Heaton. Dunno about Wesley

We weren't very good for the first half but you were very hard to break down for most of that. Felt like a resolute and surprisingly organised performance for a team of basically complete strangers.

Grealish's face doesn't get any less annoying though.

Yes, defensively they were good. Mings in particular but all very organised.

Spurs were a different team when Eriksen came on and it’s going to be a long old season if lo Celso can’t fill that gap.

wb lads

worth noting i guess that several players out there for Villa tonight are probably not long for this team. El Mohamady, Taylor, Hourihane, all theoretically second choices this season following our little summer binge, suspect that Smith was not keen to field an 11 with 7 new signings all debuting at once against vastly superior opposition. to take just one e.g. Guilbert looked good going forward in pre-season, very technically assured with a nice touch, he is presumably supposed to be taking over from Elmo as first choice RB soonish.

big qs for Villa rn are 1) whether Wesley is gonna offer any kind of goal threat or if his role in the team is just to fall over and whinge a lot and 2) who is gonna play in the deepest/DM role in our three man midfield. Hourihane imo not anywhere near up to snuff in that position, doesn't fight hard enough to cover the defence, poor composure under pressure and doesn't offer enough penetration or invention as a playmaker kick-starting our moves from deep. There are some tackling / interception stats out there suggesting that Marvellous Nakamba will be v good as a destroyer and of course all the fans are getting over-excited about Brazil-u23 captain / "Man City midfield prodigy" Douglas Luiz and the possibility that he might turn out to be perfect for the role (we will see about that; good hair tho)

tbh my primary concern coming into the season was that even when we were going great guns last year we were still giving up chances for fun and that this might lead to some absolute spankings. performance of Heaton and the two CBs tonight have eased those fears somewhat

jesus they are determined to extract the maximum possible stupidity from var

Yeah. If Wesley turns out to to be brilliant we'll be over-reliant on him,if not then Kodjia's ceiling is like what, high single figures?

Xp windsor

Was Mings playing centre-back? Played there against us in a PSF and my immediate thought was 'will play for England within a year'

There's a step up between repelling Charlton and mastering international football, granted, but still

well one only takes a spray you get from any good homeware store

buzz off

@imago yes Mings is the violent psycho at the heart of our defence, he is actually very good. could be really really good if he can subdue the impulse to commit grievous bodily harm that one assumes is constantly bubbling away just below the surface. various chumps were lolling at our having massively overpaid for him this summer, by the end of the season itll transpire that 25m or whatever was actually great value

@biscuits maybe Keinan Davis will turn out to be good? apparently we refused loan offers from half the Championship for him in the summer, seems like Smith might have earmarked him as a like-for-like alternative for Wesley. not a goalscorer per se but big and mobile and capable of 'occupying' defenders. fuck it, John McGinn is gonna be our top scorer this season with 9 goals

hating Eddie Howe's look

Mings reminds me of Martin Laursen a bit. Wins everything, chips in with goals from set pieces, relative immobility offset by the colossal extent to which he is Up For It

After that horrorshow Leeds game with the disputed goal he was just booming with laughter, clapping everyone on the back, throwing his shirt into the crowd, didn't give a fuck

He's a bit better going forward than the comically one-footed and nosebleed-prone Dane, though he does probably have slightly more dropped-bollock potential

https://eumerch.bethesda.net/media/image/9f/a3/2c/FALLOUT_4_CAR_DECAL_THUMBS_UP_VAULT_BOY_0005_600x600.png

Eddie Howe's verdict on the commemorative brexit fifty pence.

well, my two local teams managed a solitary point, and Marta managed to get red carded for striking an opposing player.

let's see how my new squad does. Go Wolves!

Newcastle are the better side atm, though Arsenal aren’t playing any of the new signings.

you only whine when youre signing

well this game is kinda dishwater atm. Wolves just getting dispossessed and fouling

Looks like Leicester have been all over us first half but it's not on TV and I'm watching Arsenal huff and puff against Newcastle.

On the plus side it usually bodes well for us playing against the run

goal for Wolves overturned by VAR for an incidental, unclear possible handball.

fuck this

extremely harsh hand handball judgement according to 5live

it wasn't even 100% clear that it did hit his arm, it was incidental.

meanwhile the sportscasters are fellating the ref as to how correct he got it.

Diego Jota is having a terrible match

*Diogo

had 1 v 1 with keeper there

i forgot this is the year VAR will ruin the EPL, just like it did our mickey mouse league since last year.

it's been pretty bad in MLS, but only because the refs that PRO hires are too fucking stupid to know how to apply rules

there's gonna be VAR in schoolyard games soon

Wolves-Leicester has been much mor exciting this half.

For the record I hate the way VAR is implemented before we got robbed. Non-intentional handball is a slightly different stupidity

for me, being a fan of NFL football and watching that game getting micro-officiated into the ground for hte last decade, this feels more like that.

I don't mind it for like, possible red cards that were missed

i hate it for PKs because every little contact looks savage in slow motion

Pedro / Mount / Barkley / Abraham front four for Chelsea today.

Make me bet I say Chelsea edge it but

meh, 0-0 draws are so much fun, thanks VAR!

three teams, two points. not a great sporting weekend, but take one on the road.

Wolves easily dispossessed throughout the match though.

Bit of a gutter after scoring but i'd've took a point at Leicester

yeah and they def were the lesser team so.

ok I guess I root Chelsea now since they have my country's only good player

plus I used to work for Aon and I hated that fuckin company so fuck Man U

feel like Man U are gonna get stomped at home

Plucky amateur hour looks very open right now. Abraham and Mount look very up for it.

surprise, our nonexistent midfield is getting ripped to shreds

Luke Shaw getting caught out a lot. Pedro looking good for Chelsea so far

Penaltyball?

no wayyyyyyyyy

Bring back sarriball

Laughably inept defending from zouma

For the second time. He looks rattled.

Feels like a lucky break for United who don't appear to have realised you need to defend that left hand side.

Wan-Bissaka's going to walk Utd's player of the season I think

They can get two more of these pens and still not wins this, it feels

Shit from Shaw shitter from mount

Not convinced wan-bissaka knows what to do with it in the attacking third

Pogba will be utd's player of the season

My god these last few minutes of football. The ball's just pinging from area to area because neither team has a midfield capable of making a tackle.

That lay off from Martial!!!

Just incredibly poor

More comedy defending, Utd escape

No midfield feels right but y'know

This passing goal kicks within your own area is going to lead to some lol moments this season

Pedro having a shocker

Pogba is a disgrace

well that was a half

pinball

Good lord pic.twitter.com/U0Qy5EY1B9

— . (@purplemus) August 11, 2019

This is doing the rounds and basically the only players from the current 22 who'd get in either of the old teams are the right backs.

it's hilarious really

Maybe Pogba at a push.

Pulisic will be in prior to 70'

Jose with the digs at Luke Shaw. "There is space when Maguire has to cover Luke Shaw, and he will learn that he has to do that a lot over the season"

Jorginho should win the Ballon D'or of Whining

yeah nevermind what I said about MU being stomped early, this goal will probably stand. this is dire

Wooh it's the poor man's Jadon Sancho

Jokes he should be able to straight murder Luke Shaw

he's the only player not wearing clown makeup that my country's managed to churn out in what feels like a millenia lol

bitch move by Pogba

Collapse

how the hell was that not a foul outside the box on Man U. was pretty much mugging him

lol welp

Excellent finish from rashford, class from pogba

Lamps out

On comes hamez

disgracefully good from Pogba

Haha

Whole lotta choking going on

40 watt Lampard lacks dimmer control.

That fuckin voice, man, makes John Major sound like Isaac Hayes

disposable placeholder whilst transfer embargo is in effect or they don't have a clue what they are doing? either way he's an absolute turd and I hope he fails again. Since when did failing in the playoffs at a champo club with a £40m + wage bill qualify a rookie manager for a big job?

thrilled to be bookmarking this thread (aka the billy sharp supporter's thread) for the 2019/20 season.

Chris Wilder was laying on his authentocrat credentials earlier by talking about how he still uses buses. Someone I used to work with who coached at Brighouse Town used to occasionally see him at the training ground there (when he was Halifax manager) and said he was a "sound guy"!

Ross Barkley is a wasteman

Imagine having basically freedom in the box at Old Traffold and deciding you can only tickle it on the only foot you can kick a ball with, the wrong foot. Wasteman.

I mean he was a Toffee

he is one of the quintessential show ponies of our age

pnevillllllllllllllle

christ if we could get cream that thick over here id not be worried about brexit

Lukaku scores four on Inter debut

I'm not sure I noticed Barkley do anything at all yesterday and if you're managing to look anonymous alongside Jorginho and Kovacic you have to really be trying.

Two shitty midfields yesterday from what I can dimly remember

Lukaku scores four on Inter debut

against a Serie D side. Found his level alright

Lol I only saw the headline, didn't read anything into it beyond the irony

In all seriousness those were probably the two worst midfields I've seen from nominally elite EPL teams. At least since the days when Fergie tried to line up with a midfield of Alan Smith and Giggs.

Only Pogba is at the level they require, Kante's late cameo notwithstanding. I'm sure Jorginho is a decent passing midfielder in the Wijnaldum vein but he needs better players around him to work properly.

One quality midfield signing and I think we'd actually be in a pretty good place. McTominay seems like he might turn out to be a semi-decent player in the Fletcher mode, to my astonishment, but with Pereira, Lingard or Fred turning out every week, we're going to get ripped to shreds regularly

it's especially galling because the defence is looking really solid now, but they're going to get no protection at all from the midfield most of the time

Never rated Fletcher tbh but I know what you mean, he's probably utile with 2 actual footballers alongside him

One for NV

“Siri, show me the definition of a well-worked set piece”

“Your search returned Temuri Ketsbaia for Wolves #OnThisDay in 2000/01”pic.twitter.com/6EwQVzz1sp

— Proper Football (@sid_lambert) August 13, 2019

Guendouzi and David Luiz in the same team is proving very distracting.

That Pépé nutmeg was hilarious. He’s going to be a nightmare to play against.

Closer look at Pepe's nutmeg pic.twitter.com/CwHp9H5R0J

— ArsenalGIF (@ArsenalGIF) August 17, 2019

rip epl was prob lucky to avoid a fatality this long since flowers to hospital house private

oh godddddd this is so awful

Yes lads, bring in the guy you signed from Man City to add some composure and quality to that central midfi-

yeah Wesley too, who are these imposters and where are the shiny Brazilian superstars i was promised

Liverpool looking sluggish again today

Newcastlol

OK that goal by Doug was gorgeous tbf

there it is

Pukki hat trick!

Adrian doing a Grobelaar

I was about to say Kariusesque

I kinda forgot that city got 98pts last season and de bruyne barely played.

Looking frwd to this one.

Saw about thirty mins of the arsenal game earlier and ceballos looked excellent

This is painful so far
lamela's defending at that corner was p risky

lol at showing that replay like eight times when it clearly should have been a penalty from the first angle

Terrible from Spurs so far.

oh look a deep cross poch out

But de bruyne blimey and Sterling's gonna have a messi season at this rate(like teemu puuke)

Basic defending to at least get a block on sterling for that goal

managed compatriate to perfection poch in

Lol P
Lamela 1-1 easy as you like

Lamela playing more centrally than eriksen from what I can tell

lush that. bad keeping tho

Walker Peters not even looking at sterling there

lush that. bad keeping tho

― wot's the tea mum? (not beef again) (DJ Mencap), Saturday, August 17, 2019 4:54 PM

Yeah he was too far off his line there.

Lol Martin Tyler . now eriksen is tenacious in the tackle but ten minutes ago he wasn't 100% committed to Spurs.

So easy. Winks just looking at kdb.

i cant understand what our centre backs are for when our full backs go out wide. they do nothing.

Square that and aguero scores

XP
Sanchez did zero on that goal marked noone and didn't even close off front post.

I'd totally forgotten Pukki played for Celtic for a year!

Lloris is the only thing keeping us even vaguely in this.

2-1 massacre this rn

mmmmmmmmmmm

oooooooo

etc

2-2 massacre you mean

Ridiculous.

City seemed barely bothered they hadn't got the third cos Spurs were so bad

19 shots to 2

"don't change the setup when you're about to take a corner ffs" - me

Mencaps post had the timing of a de bruyne pass tbf

kwp is basically a fool

is there any case for marking the back post for christs sake

Laughable from Otamendi there

I know this is v one of the three or most intimidating teams to play out from the back against but we're still just as overconfident about our actual ability to do that

and there were what three more quasi chances while I was typing that post

and it had a typo

aguero pep is beeffffff

Spurs right back situation p bad cos aurier not up to standard and foyth not that good at his primary position let alone his secondary one. Still hardest away game of the season, playing crap and might escape with a point.

Pep "why have you only scored one against this shower?"

xp fair

xp fair

That's better from sanchez

I'd totally forgotten Pukki played for Celtic for a year!

― Boulez, vous couchez avec moi? (Tom D.), Saturday, August 17, 2019 10:40 AM (twenty-two minutes ago)bookmarkflaglink

He was pish for us

Oh, and Teemu Pukki can fuck off an' all.

― ailsa, Saturday, August 23, 2014 6:26 PM (four years ago) bookmark flag link

Beautiful if Spurs can somehow steal this

It's probably only because it's early season rust but last year's top four all look like they've gotten worse.

did not notice how lamela and lo ceslo look alike til now

JESUS RELEASE THE FUCKING THING

how many chances to clear that

cunts

FFS the marking at that corner

Three unmarked at least

usjsjsjjsjs

Utter shite after a comfortable twenty minutes
VAR¡!!!!

Lol

Oh ffs fuck off

clear and obviousssssss

So stupid cos defenders don't concede pens if the handball is inadvertent so the law is weighted towards the defence

Good job it hit Laporte’s arm first otherwise it would have been a penalty.

Inadvertent handballs are penalties these days, defenders or attackers.

No they're not in the epl

we continue to amuse with idiot invites to attack

IE point blank shots or deflections
Xp

Astonishing shithousing from Pep here.

didn't realise how far behind my stream was and had to wait and see wtf the deal was

Neville trying to hype up a postmatch handshake, truly smalltime

I'll be honest, City can probably feel a little hard done by over 99mins.

Oh ffs fuck off

― or something, Saturday, 17 August 2019 19:23 (nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

switched stream off as soon as jesus shot hit the net, guess I should stop doing that. Obv VAR is terrible but in this case I'm ok with that

This fucking rule change

i am calmly wishing death on our defensive unit as i always do

technological/practical 'backward steps' we all just accept now

Oh, here we go, Sollymarch (all one word) is back on MOTD.

daniel farke is an interesting new character in the drama of the Bar-clays premier league.

Very high pitched voice for his size

Burnley coach gets it. Flopping cheaters need to get banned. Can’t complain about VAR taking slightly longer to make the right call when the league rewards actual cheating by millionaire players pretending to be injured and rolling around like toddlers.

Dyche is such a twat

Crikey I thought Spurs were bad yesterday then Leicester redefine the parameters. They have been shockingly poor so far. Chelsea battering them.

Lol the state of John Terry's ensemble.

Chose the only outfit worse than turning up today in full Chelsea kit.

Madison on the left of a front three not really working so far.

1-1 tbf Leicester have improved this half

Majestic leap and finish

I like Ndidi and didn't wish for him to gift this to Chelsea by being crap so this is nice

Ooh sitter missed by maddison

Since I said Madison on the left wasn't working he's probably been the best player on the pitch.

I can’t believe Leicester haven’t killed this off. Far the better team in the second half.

Yeah Chelsea basically repeated their second half performance from last week. Too open and terrible in transition.

the amount of times Tielemans dawdled on the ball

infuriating

Congratulations to Sheffield United xoxo

pretty impressed to see ndidi's teammates form a queue to get to him and show a bit of support tbf

Probably relieved their name wasn't in Brendan's envelope

danny murphy is horrible

Didn't realise that Daniel James was so diddy.

Wolves ay we!

Re yesterdays game I wonder at what point in the season pundits will admit that kante is playing in exactly the same position as last season and give Lampard the level of stick they gave Sarri for 'wasting the best DM in the league'.

Also sick of the narrative that Burnley's season last year was severely hampered by the Europa league when they had already been knocked out before September FFS.

Europa League games have probably been better than pre-season friendlies for us tbh

Utd getting the ball into Lingard p easily so far.

yep, wolves are a canny bunch alright

Daniel James not v good at diving on tonight's evidence.

XP lol

Blimey

Some finish that tbf

martial arts

good finish, Bennett not long for this first team tho i reckon

James is way out of his depth

doesn't make sense as anything other than a bench option for now

I assume wolves aren't generally this poor in possession.

God help me but pogba/mctominey/Lingard with rashford dropping in is looking quite an effective midfield right now.

we totally have spells in games with this kind of wayward passing, we look spread a bit thin and trying too hard atm

Only one and a bit games but pogba as deep midfielder is alright now that Utd actually play about ten or fifteen yards further up the pitch than in the Mourinho era.

Helps not to have Valencia/young/darmian on the right side of the back line as well of course.

Bennett not long for this first team tho i reckon

― what's wrong with being centre-y? (Noodle Vague), Monday, 19 August 2019 20:29 (eighteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

well we tend to be better second half, couldn't be much worse

AWB is single-handedly keeping the slide tackle alive

Traore on for Doherty is an open invitation for Rashford this half

Lingaaaaaard

Aah fuck

Beauty

Magnificent.

Please don't get ruled out

Noooo VAR.

Just cancel football if this is ruled out

Thank christ

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS

my fucking stream's about 3 minutes slow now

pretty silly to leave him unmarked like that

Nevessssssssss

Even the vague spectre of that getting ruled out should see every VAR room in the world getting stormed by pitchfork wielding mobs

Sloppy as fuck at a time Utd were shook.

Whoa

lol

So he doesn't do the stutter step thing any more?

Surprised they're not Varing whether the player who headed it clear had encroached.

Patricioooooo

Patricio you ledge

you should really let someone keep taking penalties until they miss one

but that was a great save tbf

Or in aguero's case let him miss as many as he likes.

P good game that.

Solskjaer's in-game management is shocking

takes forever to react and invariably makes the wrong sub

good second half, not just cos we turned up

Ill take it

if United had scored from that Bennett fuck-up just before half time or Lingard's comedy scuff just afterwards i'm pretty sure we'd've got nothing

we REALLY needed to buy a creative #10 this summer

Lingard and Mata are both pointless

Why did Pogba take the penalty? He's shit at them.

It was a bad peno rather than a great save. Too close to the keeper and a nice height for him.

Rashford gave him the penalty it looked like

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Georges-Kevin N'Koudou off for €5m and 50% sell on

holloway has clarified, and refreshingly for him it can be neatly summarised as

"im exactly as stupid and cuntish as the quotes make me look"

do we need a separate thread for VAR gripes y/n

bc MLS is the gift that keeps giving

nm I just posted in the MLS thread

Tyrone Watch : Tyrone has been apparently injured in the warmup and then played anyway, been clattered by his own goalkeeper and kicked his own CB partner's head clean into the Holte End in the first ten

Wesley!

My stream was behind and I thought this was in reference to his recent offside 50p head effort

Everton need to get Kean on.

More importantly, they need to take Gomes off.

Everton are so awful.

1.5 megs from AEG

I am v happy for the Villa also lol Silva out

ahhhh fuck was out and about tonight due to prior social commitments, have watched Sky's youtube highlights and am sorely tempted now to try and scout out an upload of the full 90 to see how everyone played. still believe that we're gonna make too many mistakes and give up too many chances on the regular so the relegation struggle beckons but fuck, feeling so awesome to have picked up points tonight. especially great to see that the Wes/Jota partnership that looked so promising in pre-season might actually be a thing rather than wishful thinking on the part of the fans, especially espesh after a week of two of solid negativity re Wesley in particular

also if i am ever indicted for any kind of serious crime i nominate trial by battle with Tyrone MIngs as my champion, thx

trial by battle? i meant trial by combat, w/evs, our Tyrone would smash their skulls on the concrete and mess about with their brains and he wouldnt even blink

prefer 'trial by battle', especially in the context of tyrone mings

trial by minge

1-1 inside five minutes.

Neither of these teams can defend. 2-2.

oh ffs there will be a coordinated Lampard jizz fest now as they queue up to be "delighted for him" chod down on the odious creep.

Chelsea are shit, Lampard is a cunt

there is much love for Fwank (OBE) amongst the football commentariat of Murdoch owned media and the bbc

lol utd have had an absolute fuckin mare

this has been hilarious

they should probably have had at least one more penalty than the one they got, but it wouldn't have helped because they don't have anybody who can score one

Think I've seen enough of Solskjaer now lol

ban united

Arsenal at risk of a proper hiding again.

strange to hear the scrupulously neutral BBC commentary team jizzing all over themselves because Liverpool won

Takes you back to the glory glory days of Hansen, Lawro and Alan Green.

i don;t even know what Sutton's excuse is, he was a nothing player, he's a Happy Shopper Robbie Savage, he ws a Rangers cunt iirc, i hope he dies soon and in agony

Celtic. Also he was fucking great for us.

well i'll walk back the Rangers bit but fuck him he's a cunt

Oh yes, he's a terrible cunt, and he worked on developing that persona on Scottish radio before exporting it down south.

a cunt but rly good for celtic is a fair compromise imo

most times i just think of him as a frank skinner effort at a misanthropic character that gained independence

they should probably have had at least one more penalty than the one they got, but it wouldn't have helped because they don't have anybody who can score one

Yep. Some dodgy refereeing - should have had a penalty before the one we did get and James was booked for simulation when he was clearly kicked on the knee - but I'm not convinced the result would have been any different with the correct decisions.

He was fabulous for Celtic. Terrific second striker in that old fashioned way. Shearer and Larsson owe him a lot. Also put in shifts at defense and midfield for Celtic. Also seems to be an arsehole. Nicknamed "the evil genius" when he was at Celtic.

Sutton's ugly arse vocal mannerisms and smugness remind me of Phil Tufnell, nuff said.

he's also an avid cricketer

that is not a character flaw

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/EvenLikelyAmbushbug-size_restricted.gif

FL doing the post-match interview looks like an unconvincing parody of a football manager from hale & pace

hes gone some size the cunt

that game was tasty enough

there was a Stoke fan poster from a sub football message-board I used to frequent in the previous decade who was a published author of some seemingly very bad books + who lectured at Norwich uni and was a bit of an arrogant dick, but a very very funny poster with it and he hated New Labour with a passion. The poor guy ended up downing a bottle of vodka and jumping off a bridge and ending it 10 years ago. He once posted a list of reasons why Lampard is a cunt that went something like: 1. Lisping Tory Boy Cunt 2. Corporeality... I still don't understand the meaning of 2 and it has stuck in my mind, but 1 perfectly fine (with the caveat I don't judge on speech impediments but in this case...).

lol luiz wtf

x2

xp calz, first result on google:

relating to a person's body, especially as opposed to their spirit.
"he was frank about his corporeal appetites"

lol, that mystery of a decade!

joke not to give that peno on martial

james the new g bale, booked for being fouled?

xxpI knew the definition of the word but my semi-autist brain struggled with the context. fucking hell though - I need to try harder!

total piece of shit tackle there from some BHA thug

Ugh that Burnley goal

unbelievable

amateur

if amateurs are that bar

Are we going to do this every week?

well seeing as we never adjust anything at the back despite seeing these bollocks dropped every week, i dont see why not

left ourselves three against one from absolutely nothing a minute before, that back line is a disaster.

sanchez normally the victim of the other three hiding but no blaming anyone else there, thats just awful from him

500 games in from the lad poch and he only listens to the praise poch out

Spurs fans next to me were pissed. One was about to pay his tab and leave

Meanwhile idk what the Wolves were doing but Burnley had their passing lanes well-marked. Could be 3-0 Burnley if not for the GK

The quality of crossing has been appalling and there are no other ideas atm.

the ball bounced off a newcastle defender in the box there and it was left to be resolved about five mins and nobody in a white shirt wanted to intrude great manners the cunts

kwp tries to concede another and sanchez done his best but fucked it up unlucky son

and i like sanchez and think he carries the can for a lot of system/toby faults but he has been so bad under simple high balls this season that it beggars belief he hasnt gone and taken a youtube course since last week or something

three today hes been like a sick calf under

Clear pen imo.

Shocking.

idk how it could be much clearer. He dived head-first at his legs.

Yeah I'm surprised he didn't give a peno there

the actual fuck

theory: gap between ref saying "ill let var see that more clearly" and var saying "weve an onus not to overrule the ref unless clearly wrong" is going to be a big fucking cunt-up all season

real avb stuff this

this has two nil all over it what a fucking shower

Looks like the Premier League noticed everyone was pissed off about VAR and concluded that the main point of contention was all those pesky correctly awarded penalties

That was an obv pen in the Spurs match. Shocking no call.

Meanwhile Wolves just got bailed out by a PK for an undeserved draw

The best kind of draw

bruce joins a list of many to have comprehensively out-thought poch this past twelve months

hard not to keep that in mind the next time a press conference becomes all about his big fucking decision to keep getting paid 8m a year or not for his troubles

VAR generally, but in particular the way it's been implemented, is a complete and utter disaster.

Aubamayeng is offside, no one flags because it's tight, play on, shot gets blocked for a corner... Arsenal get a corner. No check. Because it's not a goal. But if Arsenal had scored from the corner, it wouldn't be checked. That is absolute insanity. Literally training their referees to be worse.

Alexis Sanchez to Inter, here we go! Done deal with Man United ⚫️🔵 #transfers #MUFC #Inter

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) August 27, 2019

This is an extremely odd decision given our lack of options up front

And now Smalling is going to Roma on loan!?

https://newsthump.com/2019/08/28/liverpool-to-prorogue-premier-league-until-may-2020/

I may have been rather hasty in writing Daniel James off...

was just pondering that

Nearly another one there

Solskjaer looking clueless after conceding a goal again

we're a midtable team with a midtable manager and our best attacking player is a kid from the Championship

it's gonna be a looooooong season

Which match do y'all think is the best of the next batch.

West Ham - Norwich I'd say

and Farke looks like the coolest and hardest manager in the prem, no competition.

West Ham the first real opps

Helluva slide tackle there

West Ham flopping madly

Beautiful buildup by West Ham there

Cantwhiff

Villa looking worryingly shit all over the pitch. Tom Heaton is gonna be our player of the season

pls read thread rules, "flopping" is permaban

BLADES

Get in

Dunno what this cunt ref was doing disallowing our last minute goal but whatever I’m gonna get drunk

Infuriating

We were shit tho

palace have to stay eternally in the epl to satisfy some egyptian curse iirc

Someone please watch match of the day for me later and tell me if that decision was as bad as it seemed, yeah?

I still don’t really understand it. He made the pass, went to ground, didn’t in any way appeal for the foul. Idg how it can possibly have been a dive

lol i haven't seen but everyone is saying this decision is like 'replay the game' level of bad

well if thats the way ill take tjat Newcastle match again

second thoughts will i fuck

why is mane shouting at henderson

foul on blades keeper for that first tbh

vardys the kind of striker thats limited in range and therefore of no interest to top four managers and itd make you wonder if theyre overlooking their actual jobs because the cunt is fuckin lethal at the three things he does

oof looks orrible that on wilson

var as blind to shithouse dangerous tackles as refs

fuck that villa call is a shambles, grealish pushed into a collision in the box and done for diving

reffing is appalling so far this season

It's pretty much epidemic

I was at the New Japan Pro Wrestling Show at the Copper Box earlier and the Guerillas of Destiny pulled the ref out of the ring as Tomohiro Ishii was about to pin KENTA. They got away with it. Ridiculous.

why is mane shouting at henderson

― theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Saturday, 31 August 2019 22:56 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

It's assumed that he was raging at greedy bastard Salah not putting him in for an easy tap-in a minute before he was subbed

Why Henderson? Because he's captain? Because he was there?

Mane otm tbf

idk he was losing it /at/ henderson afaict

Salah was playing like a dick, on those highlights at any rate

Who among us hasn't wanted to shout at Henderson?

Jesus that Villa goal

Terrible decision to disallow that villa goal. Give the goal and then book grealish ffs

seen it now, my verdict: karma means we will inevitably go down now, so imago should be pleased.

lol I just this second walked into a bar and saw that

and now I have to go out and umpire

apologies to all wolves fans

omg I popped back into the bar and look I've evened it up

Jfc i got a late start to watching as i woke up late and i already missed 3 goals?

Lossl not even bench-warming for Everton, can we have him back on loan pls.

God we miss Moutinho

Didn't see a kot of possession that last fifteen minutes

half past eight and there is not a kot
upon a mile of road no shadow thrown
that might turn out a man or woman not
a footfall tapping secrecies of stone

Lol

YEEEEEESSSSSSSS

ouch

man that's a sacrifice for a goal

fuuuuuuck come on.

ball watching

my god that Patricio save

Sigh. None of my teams won this week.

Boly you idiot

Good game for the neutral I guess. Boly you idiot yes. Patricia save next lev yes

Okay autocorrect you should know what I mean by now you twat

Spurs have apparently taken fifteen points from the last fifteen games.

Not to put the mockers on but there is an outside chance of a sixteenth point here.

classic Xhaka tbf

not watching, gonna call our defenders cunts anyway

You wouldn’t be wrong.

Spurs were never going to be able to sit back and defend successfully but that’s all they’ve tried to do in the second half.

Good stuff this. Several Spurs players have lead in their shoes, Arsenal seem fitter for whatever reason (in case of Erikson it’s extreme disinterest).

That was a fucking pen

lol it was a massive dive

He kind of stopped trying to chase the ball so he could back in to the defender

which of em is this I've gotten to read the mbm

Kane, but Dele should have been carded too

seen kane one, no peno no dive

alli is dive and a peno

the fucking state of that lacazette goal