star wars 9 grim resignation thread

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greedo shot first (mh), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:10 (one year ago) link

might be a good time to finally see the other eight

frogbs, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:13 (one year ago) link

are they gonna digitize Carrie Fisher into this or what

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:14 (one year ago) link

I just got VIII out of the library last night so no spoilers plz

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:14 (one year ago) link

Sorry, just one spoiler: Greedo shot Princess Leia. There, I'm done.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:22 (one year ago) link

you want spoilers for #9 in the #9 thread but not for #8?

might be a good time to finally see the other eight

there will be 12 Star Wars feature films by the time the one numbered 9 comes out

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:25 (one year ago) link

Have we fallen so far that we no longer recognize the adventures of the Ewoks?

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:48 (one year ago) link

great thread title

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 19:02 (one year ago) link

wookie xmas special counts I think

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 19:09 (one year ago) link

no, that's a variety show

One, Five, Six, Ewok One, Ewok Two, One II, Two, Three, Seven, Rogue One, Eight, Solo: Rogue II, and then Nine is the thirteenth.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 20:05 (one year ago) link

hold on there fella, now what about the animated clone wars movie

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 20:28 (one year ago) link

It's the ninth episodic chapter, the others are cartoons, spinoffs, or specifically marked as "stories" or "anthology material" imo

mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:12 (one year ago) link

Droopy McCool: A Star Wars Story

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:23 (one year ago) link

googling about this this terrible joke has been made about a million times online

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:24 (one year ago) link

I'm not the biggest McCool fan but I feel I've got to at least give the movie a chance

mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:26 (one year ago) link

star wars counting/running order grim resignation thread

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:27 (one year ago) link

hold on there fella, now what about the animated clone wars movie

broke into a cold sweat at reading this, but it turns out to be several episodes of the TV show edited together. my tally stands and is now canonical.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:38 (one year ago) link

Lucas described the film as "almost an afterthought." Howard Roffman, president of Lucas Licensing, said of the decision, "Sometimes George works in strange ways." Producer Catherine Winder said the sudden decision added to an already large challenge of establishing a show "of this sophistication and complexity."

there's a thread for this, Lucasfilm employees.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:41 (one year ago) link

ha, i was just gonna paste that exact bit from wiki

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:43 (one year ago) link

The episodes thus confabulated were never shown, though!

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:51 (one year ago) link

If Mulholland Drive counts as a feature film, then so does The Clone Wars: The Movie Which is Actually Just Three Unaired Television Episodes Stapled Together. And yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (one year ago) link

(thrusts chest like a territorial gorilla) Bring it.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (one year ago) link

most of Mulholland Drive, by The Guy That Almost Directed Return Of The Jedi But Didn't, was written* and much of it was filmed for the movie. The European/VHS version of the Twin Peaks pilot is a curio and a sidebar, MD is a film.

*via script and editing

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

Ironic sidebar: Richard Marquand was originally intended to direct Inland Empire!*

*fake fact

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:19 (one year ago) link

clone wars movie got a theatrical release! certainly counts more than the ewok films. ebert even reviewed it.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:27 (one year ago) link

after VIII i really don't care what happens in these movies. they have nothing as far as original story. they have been relying entirely on re-staging scenes and sequences from OT films. they've already done the desert planet-Empire hijinks, the death star infiltration, the hoth walkers, dagoba training, the decadence of upper class war profiteers, the ROTJ throne room battle. what have they not taken from the OT...? oh i know, maybe they will have a scene where the new characters step on a trap Scooby Doo style and end up in a giant net, captured by furry creatures.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (one year ago) link

the new movie will have a Cantina reference. the new movie will have a Star Destroyer crashing into another Star Destroyer.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (one year ago) link

certainly counts more than the ewok films

until The Last Jedi, the last time I saw a Star War in the cinema* was Caravan Of Courage.

*or anywhere

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:22 (one year ago) link

the new movie will be brought to you by Xerox. the new movie will give your mouth sex appeal and will be right back after a message.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 00:17 (one year ago) link

looking forward to this movie!

nashwan, Thursday, 19 April 2018 09:54 (one year ago) link

They'll probably find a way to kill off Chewie in this one.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:28 (one year ago) link

Aye, they've taken an odd reaction to the fan fury over Chewie's death on the books.

I am not looking forward to this much, which is odd because I enjoyed the first two - but The Last Jedi is so much better than The Force Awakens, and so neatly critiques it, that the prospect of JJ Abrams returning to "no the parents / lightsaber / Snoke are actually really big deals, you won't believe what happens next" fills me with some gloom.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 11:56 (one year ago) link

killing Chewbacca off makes no sense, he's in his prime middle age years while all these dumb human types are getting old

he could have an entire couple human lifetimes ahead of him, making all these shenanigans a past memory

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:20 (one year ago) link

the only ending I will accept would be Chewie ditching the rest of the characters during the climax and piloting the Falcon to unknown coordinates, with the rest of his long life playing out in wistful flashes a la the Six Feet Under finale

Simon H., Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:23 (one year ago) link

they kind of did that in the ending of the most recent cartoon series! their chewbacca-type character ended up riding off into the sunset

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:25 (one year ago) link

I hope Chewie finally succumbs to male pattern baldness in this one.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:30 (one year ago) link

I knwo its not technically a film but

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Droids

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:04 (one year ago) link

cuz

An edited compilation DVD with the title Star Wars Animated Adventures: Droids was released on November 23, 2004. The DVD contained eight episodes of the series, edited together as two full-length movies. Besides cutting the theme song of the series, many other small modifications were made for the home video releases, most notably changes to the soundtrack.[2]

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:05 (one year ago) link

the soundtrack on Droids is really weird in a cool way

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

There's nothing grim about a film 100% focused on revealing the secrets of campus utility data

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

is there some way we could mix together all the movies into one movie to end all star wars movies?

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:33 (one year ago) link

so stoked for this

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

will they finally blow up the death star?!?!???

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

shakes!! :) hi

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:38 (one year ago) link

They've been blowing up Death Star after Death Star and getting nowhere. Maybe the trick is to not blow up the Death Star.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

maybe they should build their own death star

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

and then the two death stars could make sweet sweet death star love and have a baby death star. a death starlet.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

All these Death Stars. Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

boo typo

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

The prequels are the worst star wars movies and they have zero death stars. The Han Solo movie looks like it might be terrible and also not have a death star. Empire Strikes Back and the Last Jedi are good despite not having death stars appearing but it seems likely in both movies that a death star is being built somewhere off screen. Death stars are the secret ingredient that make these movies great and they should not be mocked.

silverfish, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:09 (one year ago) link

Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

only if Disney buys Apple

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:21 (one year ago) link

Wasn't that the plot of Wrath of Khan?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:22 (one year ago) link

quiet you!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:25 (one year ago) link

are people already actually sick of this franchise I can't tell anymore

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:33 (one year ago) link

In record time, we're sick of you.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:40 (one year ago) link

sorry if my mocking opprobrium is upsetting your grim resignation

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:45 (one year ago) link

iirc the ending of Episode I includes Anakin flying his ship into the core of a conspiciously large droid ship to blow it up

droid star, imo

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:53 (one year ago) link

Episode X
A NEW THREAT

Utility data got stolen AGAIN.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:55 (one year ago) link

i would be shocked if "solo" features no death star. i mean the first three prequels had the shoehorned fanservice scenes with like the plans appearing on christopher lee's monitor or w/e, and the fans bought it, so i feel like it would not be hard to cut away to the emperor and vader, planning to shut down the dangerous, unlicensed "kessel" race across the galaxy, and striding through their architects' full-size mockup of different control room schemes for a top-secret battle station. they could even create a young mads mikkelsen with cgi, to be showing it to them, with a closeup on his face to indicate there's more to him than meets the eye. only true fans who have seen deep-cut mega blockbuster "rogue one" will catch this reference!!! aren't cinematic universes the best!!!???

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:39 (one year ago) link

(voiceover): they weren't

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:40 (one year ago) link

It'll be some ominous rumour about the Empire buying up or appropriating massive amounts of material and labour. "They're building something, Solo... something big."

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:51 (one year ago) link

If you look closely, you can see the Death Star go by in the background during the Kessel Run.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:53 (one year ago) link

"something big" version seems very, very plausible. and there'll be a whiff of the imperial march on the score even though the scene overall is supposed to have a totally different tone.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:04 (one year ago) link

will he have a bad feeling about it

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:13 (one year ago) link

You clearly haven't watched the trailer

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

why watch movies or trailers, I only watch merchandising

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

Trenchant

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

my Star Wars brand bag of broccoli told me all I needed to know about the Last Jedi

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/583rA2JlUjk/hqdefault.jpg

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:20 (one year ago) link

I can see you really honed that Whiney impression on your sabbatical, shakes. ILX's Rich Little does it again!

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:23 (one year ago) link

(nice to have u back, bruh)

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:24 (one year ago) link

pfft I think you will find my Star Wars hatred predates Whiney's schtick by several parsecs

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:25 (one year ago) link

kind of sad we didn’t name the thread “star wars 9? no great shakes. grim resignation thread”

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:40 (one year ago) link

/r/shakeydidnothingwrong

how's life, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:59 (one year ago) link

i’m all for shakey complaining as much as possible

he’s like the jaded luke from the last jedi

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 00:25 (one year ago) link

that tracks

shakey strikes me as someone who would enjoy broccoli

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:01 (one year ago) link

broccoli is good but i like brussels sprouts better

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 02:21 (one year ago) link

Gif of shakey indignantly gulping space milk

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:27 (one year ago) link

you get my ideas, Moodles

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 02:43 (one year ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/QfDQYP4.gif

startled macropod (MatthewK), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:47 (one year ago) link

Lol

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:58 (one year ago) link

what should happen is they finally make peace with the death star which has become a sentient being on its own Like in MOana they add teh heart of skywalker and it becomes a sexy big tree lady that fixes things

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Friday, 20 April 2018 15:24 (one year ago) link

somebody give this kid a million dollars and a production contract

Οὖτις, Friday, 20 April 2018 15:46 (one year ago) link

still waiting for that day

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Friday, 20 April 2018 15:46 (one year ago) link

What if the heroes slowly discover that there is also a Death Moon and a Death Heart and a Death Clover and a Death Diamond and that Lucky the Deathprecaun has been pulling all of the evil strings this whole time, what if that.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Friday, 20 April 2018 16:01 (one year ago) link

What if someone wipes off the dust on the nameplate and they find it's the "frienD EArTH STAR"

startled macropod (MatthewK), Friday, 20 April 2018 22:20 (one year ago) link

damned dirty apes

mh, Saturday, 21 April 2018 01:30 (one year ago) link

I'd li;ke a cross over of Hitchhiker's guide universe into star wars where the invinifteimprobality drive powers the new Golden Death sta turning it into the Life STar and they the wookies and ewoks run it

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Monday, 23 April 2018 18:34 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

Appears Billy Dee Williams will be the returning cast member in this one

groovypanda, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 07:55 (one year ago) link

About time!

Actually, I haven't seen any of the new ones yet. Should I? I've never been a die hard or anything, but I've heard spoilers and I'm not sure watching movies where [that one] and [the other one] get killed off in succession has much appeal to me?

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 11:30 (one year ago) link

they’re moderately diverting, worth a look if you’ve got the time i guess

rogue one is the best of the new batch, haters don’t @ me

Do you hate the youth? If not then it's a good idea to see them.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:08 (one year ago) link

I'm just a sap who likes everyone having happy endings and whatnot at the end of ROTJ

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:15 (one year ago) link

see Solo! srsly it's about as feel-good as these get and there's plenty of Lando action

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:17 (one year ago) link

rogue one > force awakens > last jedi > solo

this is canonical

Yeah Rogue is even better in the re-watching, i'm hoping the same is true for TLJ when i get around to it but not holding out much hope. Caught just a glimpse of the casino scene from it last week and was all 'urgh jesus..'.

piscesx, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:43 (one year ago) link

i'd agree with that ranking. all of these are better than the prequels by a factor of 10

akm, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:47 (one year ago) link

tbh the most interesting thing to me about TLJ is how fiercely divided the reaction is, like not even the people who hate or love it seem to agree with each other as to what's good/bad about it

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:52 (one year ago) link

It's kind of like, I don't care if they're good, I'm just not persuaded I need to see the story continue, especially if I have to watch childhood characters die in weird, inappropriate ways. As if Crystal Skull wasn't punishment enough.

I'll see Rogue and Solo though, why not

And I'll see the sequels eventually, who am I kidding

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:58 (one year ago) link

Talk also going around last week that Keri Russell had been cast in an unspecified role, not confirmed by Disney/LFL yet.

Eliza D., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:59 (one year ago) link

She would make a great fucking villain in SW though.

Eliza D., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:00 (one year ago) link

I liked it fine at the time but there were a few groans and it dragged badly. I just think a lot of the reaction looking back was just a comedown from the high of TFA. JJ has his work cut out for sure.

xp They're nothing like Crystal Skull at all IMO so that's something i guess.

piscesx, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:01 (one year ago) link

She would make a great fucking villain in SW though.

I don't think they're canny enough to use her in this way tbh. I expect she'll be playing another Fierce Resistance Heroine(tm).

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:03 (one year ago) link

Billy Dee Williams was originally supposed to be in the last one and they passed on him for some reason. he is now 81 years old

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:05 (one year ago) link

xp I don't know, this is one of the rare instances where I feel like Abrams can actually manage a curveball, especially with an actress he knows really well.

Eliza D., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:10 (one year ago) link

The Russell/JJ connection hadn't even occurred to me. It would be cool if they did something great with her, she's usually wasted in films (MI:III, the Apes movie she was in)

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:12 (one year ago) link

Hrm, I thought it was somewhere here that someone was saying they went back to rewatch TLJ and was delighted to find out that it stays as good (unlike TFA, which is very hit-this-beat-then-that-one-then). It is pretty clearly the best of them, though.

JJ has his work cut out for sure.

I'm really not expecting anything non-Pavlovian from Episode 9.

especially if I have to watch childhood characters die in weird, inappropriate ways

I could be wrong but I think even the haters* think the deaths were well done.

*okay not Adam.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:14 (one year ago) link

I'm just a sap who likes everyone having happy endings and whatnot at the end of ROTJ

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, July 10, 2018 8:15 AM (fifty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol my advice is to just enjoy that final shot of all the characters together like the big happy family that they are. everyone ends up dying alone and apart from one another.

funny, there are several reunion shots where old characters are introduced to old spaceships or old robots and these moments are milked for nostalgia, but nobody thought of getting the gang of human actors back together.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:17 (one year ago) link

im not a hater, i actually enjoyed the film when i saw it. but pressured into thinking it's a genius work of art i disagree and i guess that makes me a hater.

i just don't think it's an amazing work of film, just like most of the other ones. it's funny how you could trash the prequels and nobody called you a hater. that's part of the fun of watching dumb space movies. apparently it's serious shit now.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:18 (one year ago) link

xp ...apart from the scenes where they do.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:19 (one year ago) link

this movie is going to end with most of the galaxy being blown up and 3 of our heroes getting in an escape POD and heading to a new galaxy and landing on this weird blue planet called EARTH

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:33 (one year ago) link

That seems pretty likely.

devops mom (silby), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:36 (one year ago) link

I'm the man out there pressuring individuals into believing star wars movies are genius works of art

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:43 (one year ago) link

u monster

my friend who does Star Wars cosplay (mostly as Kylo Ren) went to Disney as Rose (wearing a similar pendant) and got harassed by a busboy who proceeded to accost her and tell her how terrible a character she was for about 15 minutes while she was trying to get food.

I kinda hate this fanbase.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:55 (one year ago) link

(natch they reported him)

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:55 (one year ago) link

should have told him he was doing a horrible job playing a Disney employee and they can people for that

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 14:05 (one year ago) link

i find it pretty weird that the twitter/tumblr/online press zeitgeist opinion seems to be that The Last Jedi WAS A TOTAL ERROR OMG DISASTER HOLY SHIT THEY WRECKED STAR WARS

whereas my experience seeing it and chatting to normal real life people afterwards was that despite a few shitty bits, everyone had a lovely time and it went down really damn well.

people on the internet convinced of the importance of their own opinions can't allow themselves to not tear every single thing apart i guess?

Hmmmmm (jamiesummerz), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 14:47 (one year ago) link

^
(old man shouting at "the cloud")

Hmmmmm (jamiesummerz), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 14:48 (one year ago) link

this whole revival is an exercise in pandering and condescension (I say this as someone who mostly likes the new movies) and people, as a rule, unconsciously despise being pandered to.

ryan, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:02 (one year ago) link

Last Jedi was pretty great imo. I think it's the least pander-y of the bunch.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:28 (one year ago) link

really excited for this

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:43 (one year ago) link

oh wait sorry thought this was the RIP Donald Trump thread

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:44 (one year ago) link

the films are very skillfully made with some awe-inspiring moments...i think they fall short in certain areas, mostly in their stabs at terrible meta humor that are mostly completely out of character for those who deliver the lines.

omar little, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:46 (one year ago) link

Agreed, I don't think they benefit from any kind of self-awareness

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:53 (one year ago) link

Shdn't grim resignation be the title of uk politics thread lol

Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:12 (one year ago) link

Actually, I haven't seen any of the new ones yet. Should I?

The Last Jedi was the first new one I've seen since Caravan Of Courage was in the cinema, and I enjoyed it OK

kelp, clam and carrion (sic), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:42 (one year ago) link

the last jedi > attack of the clones > revenge of the sith > rogue one > the phantom menace > the force awakens

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:43 (one year ago) link

Attack of the Clones should always bring up the rear

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:46 (one year ago) link

McGregor brings up the rear of that alien-cook's trousers in the diner scene

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:47 (one year ago) link

the last jedi > attack of the clones > revenge of the sith > rogue one > the phantom menace > the force awakens

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, July 10, 2018 9:43 AM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh wow i am so into this ranking

princess of hell (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:47 (one year ago) link

nobody thought of getting the gang of human actors back together

wha? that’s fucking nuts

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:52 (one year ago) link

rewatched all the prequels this last few weeks as the girlfriend hadn't seen them. They're all actually worse than I remember. stories and scripts are mindboggling awful from start to finish and anyone thinking the new films are somehow worse than them is crazy.

Hmmmmm (jamiesummerz), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:53 (one year ago) link

Clones at least is somewhat entertaining during the assassination sequence and then, yeah.

Phantom Menace was godawful, I watched that one for the first time since 1999.

I still kinda like RotS, warts and all.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:58 (one year ago) link

the part where Anakin gets the "it's only a fleshwound!" treatment is v funny

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 17:06 (one year ago) link

guys let's just do a "the prequels are: good or bad" poll and everyone who votes for the losing option gets permabanned

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 17:29 (one year ago) link

polls are anonymous to protect those of us who keep voting for a certain indiana jones/crystal skull movie as the best spielberg work

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 17:38 (one year ago) link

The Last Jedi > The Force Awakens >> Rogue One >> root canal >>>>> the prequels

Police, Academy (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 18:17 (one year ago) link

seriously tho, the three old leads aren't in *any* scenes together?

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 18:51 (one year ago) link

not a one in TFA

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 18:58 (one year ago) link

well, I guess Han Solo/Chewbacca counts, although in the last couple released films, Mayhem is no longer in the costume

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 18:59 (one year ago) link

petition for a spin-off starring Dean Winters as Chewbacca with the wookiee head taken off

kelp, clam and carrion (sic), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:01 (one year ago) link

how the fuck did I type that instead of Mayhew

Peter Mayhew. sheesh. sic, you should have caught that

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:02 (one year ago) link

oh wait, the insurance commercial character is Mr. Mayhem and I was properly clowned

never mind

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:04 (one year ago) link

... did you take a piss all the way through the Han / Leia scene?

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:17 (one year ago) link

I was doing my hair

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:20 (one year ago) link

this is where I admit that I took "the three old leads aren't in *any* scenes together?" to mean all three of them in the same scene and then appended han-chewie as an additional combo outside of the han-leia and luke-leia duos

but then decided it'd be funnier if I pretended the only two to ever appear together were han and chewie

chewie did not, in fact, do something different with his hair

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 20:02 (one year ago) link

ok fine i'll see the damn films

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 20:18 (one year ago) link

I'm the man out there pressuring individuals into believing star wars movies are genius works of art

― mh

"the last jedi" showed up on netflix. i don't have netflix but the place where i get my tms has netflix and i got tired of watching nature documentaries after five weeks (yes i understand now what polar bears look like and your narrator script is terrible) so i'm watching it again, this time in 2d. it really is a wonderfully put together movie, "genius work of art" i wouldn't say but it's fantastically subversive, kind of like moffat's doctor who except it's entertaining in addition to being clever. my drunk ass is wondering how much of the backlash is just a backlash against people being clever, which if you don't like cleverness fuck you you are sentenced to watching all of the "nick and nora" movies until you stop perceiving this as a "sentence".

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 02:06 (one year ago) link

seriously today i was watching the scene transition where they went from a zoom from water dripping on kylo ren's hand to a spaceship, if you'd rather see another fucking wipe fuck you you are sentenced to watching "radar men from the moon" until you _do_ perceive this as being a sentence

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 02:08 (one year ago) link

I was being sarcastic because they’re workmanlike family space dramas

steve yedlin pretty solid cinematographer though and when they ramp up all the practical+digital visual effects and great foley artists even scenes that drag seem like they could be real

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 02:49 (one year ago) link

also re: clever, I kind of hated them when I realized in the intro he is saying “holding for general HUGS” but now I kind of chuckle and mumble “general hugs”

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 02:50 (one year ago) link

idk, i've seen enough mediocre and bad films that i have a hard time describing any of the star wars films, even the awful ones, as "workmanlike"

and yeah, starting the movie with one of the main characters making a stupid prank phone call to a captain of a star destroyer is idiotic enough to be entertaining. there's a fine line, i've been told, between clever and stupid, and "the last jedi" for the most part straddles it expertly

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:11 (one year ago) link

buddy “workmanlike” in my book means they have a work ethic, actual normal level of skills (they’re probably union), and they’re able to hack it

I mean, if you go by strict definitions a lot of Ron Howard work is hack work — they give a director with the right skills a direction and a script and he churns out usable product. It doesn’t mean it’s bad in quality necessarily. imo JJ Abrams is very much in the hack camp — he takes the day’s norms and a given formula and comes out with something that reaches the standards of the time

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:19 (one year ago) link

I also think there are several directors/producers who are sub-hack getting work now because they’re disconnected from modern standards or think themselves auteurs and fall far short of interesting result

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:23 (one year ago) link

In repeat viewings the stupidest part about TLJ is how much time it spends on two doofuses who are always fucking up and surviving by miraculous intervention while almost all their comrades get murdered in bulk, and not making it funny enough.

I get the sense there was a difficult balancing act between treating Finn and Poe as the completely absurd, walking punchlines of masculinity that they are, and treating the near-total wipeout of the Resistance with some kind of A Bridge Too Far seriousness, and they got middled on the deal.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:34 (one year ago) link

Like there’s a great dark comedy buried in TLJ - and i said basically right after Rian Johnson was announced that the guidepost to use was Brothers Bloom - but we’re supposed to care about all the rebel redshirts getting murked every other minute and that just makes it a little too much like those goddamn Hobbit sequels that aren’t any fun either.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:38 (one year ago) link

I think TLJ owes a considerable debt plotwise, in terms of the rebel fleet actions and even the aesthetics and pursuit manner of the First Order, to the new Battlestar Galactica. I’m thinking of the (very excellent) second or third episode of the series (maybe it was called 33?), where they kept jumping and getting caught by the Cylon fleet because they were somehow tracking them.

omar little, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:49 (one year ago) link

yup

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 04:02 (one year ago) link

i don't think it gets terribly "middled", no - i think a lot of the criticism is about perceived tonal whiplash, which i don't see - having seen enough modern doctor who, and, frankly, living in 2018, i don't think there's any disconnect between slapstick comedy and apocalypse.

re-watching the movie, i don't think we as viewers are supposed to care about the rebel redshirts, but poe and finn _are_, and they're portrayed as incompetent for the simple reason that they don't. as for "miraculous intervention", one person's "miraculous intervention" is another's pure blind luck.

maybe i'm cynical about what human beings are capable of, but i find making an entertaining and watchable blockbuster movie takes an exceptional level of talent. to me, if you can shoot a three camera sitcom without sticking the boom mike in shot too often, that's my bar for competence.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 04:26 (one year ago) link

the hobbit films? i could barely make it twenty minutes into them. absolutely leaden films, everything was telegraphed to excruciating extent. major characters from the books got lingering shots and ridiculous fanfares. none of the characters were at all likeable, they were all Important. they put fucking sylvester mccoy in the thing and he wasn't any more over the top than anyone else. the humor in tlj is certainly lowbrow humor, but it's brief enough that, to my chronically humor-averse sensibilities, it's actually funny instead of excruciating (see: lucas, george).

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 04:37 (one year ago) link

Kindly forgive any digressions/transgressions below, as I certainly won't remember them:

1) The autie fans also note that the novel Force powers and starship tactics (re: hyperspace) in TLJ invalidate much prior canon. Ie, huge swathes of the cinematic, animated, and literary canon hbecome senseless if force users can survive and fly about in vacuum, and starships can kamikaze through hyperspace.

2) We've never learned the appeal of the New Order, or for that matter its Imperial predecessor. In human history, most taxpayers are likely cattle, initially cowed by fear, but every enduring state has had an ideology providing legitimacy, and winning recruits. Whether its a claim to divine righ, fear of other nations, or of other classes. What exactly does the NO have? How can one align the economic efforts of billions, if it only seems to serve the whims of a petulant emo? Honestly, just as the best video game in the franchise (Tie Fighter (1994)) followed life in the Imperial navy (which was as beset by civil conflict as the Roman military), I think the best film in the franchise would look at what compels people to join the Empire/NO, what competing interests they serve there, how they let off steam, and how ordinary citizens view the rebels.

3) Since the debut, SW has existed primarily to sell action figure toys. Over 4 decades, I wouldn't be surprised if toy licencing outpaced box office nets. When I was young, my mum didn't buy SW figurines, like my friends had. I got the silver headed Micronauts, because mum was clueless. My friends had small-to-large scale SW dioramas in their bedrooms. I just had a handful of these peculiar yet more flexible ciphers, which my friends would pose in homoerotic tableaus.

4) So, fuck 'em all. Go crazy SW marketing and SW 9 writers. Let Chewie become the furry sex object he/she/it always threatened to become. Let Kylo realize he really wanted to express himself through paint instead of sabers all along. Let Rose Tico obtain justice from anonymous dark side hecklers, with extreme prejudice. I think SW licenced sex toys, and thumbscrews, would sell *great* among remaining die hards.

Roomba with an attitude (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 04:45 (one year ago) link

true that a tie fighter movie would be rad but one of the radder things about tlj was that it was closer than the franchise had ever seemed likely to come to a kotor2 movie

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:14 (one year ago) link

def agreed that one of the (few) inherited problems it doesn't even try to dissolve is that the first order makes even less sense than any of the other aspiring states in these movies

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:18 (one year ago) link

(oh and allowing kamikaze attacks is the least of it rly: obviously they should put hyperdrives on missiles.)

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:22 (one year ago) link

xp I mean, if “give me your fucking lunch money” is an ideology, fair enough, otherwise that might be the wrongest statement ever.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:39 (one year ago) link

I’m sick of humorless pedants trying to make this long running multimedia series of pastiches of comic books and samurai movies be totally self-consistent in every aspect of its worldbuilding

devops mom (silby), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:45 (one year ago) link

I liked The Last Jedi, the next JJ one will probably be straight back to shooting without a script and fixing it in post but I’ll probably still find it enjoyable in the theater and it’ll probably still not withstand any kind of careful scrutiny from any angle, what is the problem if a Star Wars movie doesn’t make sense, I ask you.

devops mom (silby), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:49 (one year ago) link

yeah i do think the FO is m/l ideologically fine (parti de l'ordre) but the gap between ROTJ and TFA just isn't plausibly bridged imo. silby otm tho obv who cares. i mean i did care watching TFA. found that movie just repulsively decadent. makes scary movie 3 look like alexander nevsky.

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:56 (one year ago) link

1. one of the things that irritates me about fans who bicker about changes to canon is that the stuff they hold up as canon is stuff they would have, if it was new, denounced as heretical (and probably did, back in the day). god, how would these "just admit it's bad" people take "The Empire Strikes Back", which did just as thorough a job at fucking with fan expectations - more thorough, really, because at the time there was no precedent for it? when i hear this kind of "but CONTINUITY" bickering i just want to move on as quickly as possible to the point where we can ignore and laugh at these people, or at best treat their complaints as a wacky joke like luke snogging his sister.

there's also this assumption that characters will behave in ways that are logical to the _viewer_ rather than having their own, alien motivations. maybe there weren't kamikaze hyperspace attacks before because nobody had ever thought of one before!

2. in 2018 i don't think "why do people support the empire" is a question we need to watch a movie to answer. i really don't. in any case fandom has plenty of persuasive answers to this question - "the death star was an inside job", imperial media perpetuating the dolchstosslegende, economic essays about how building multiple death stars would wreck the galactic economy and make any post-imperial form of governance impossible.

3. the toy licensing thing is one of the biggest urban legends about star wars. after '77 when a bunch of kids got empty cardboard boxes for christmas they learned about the importance of toys to the line pretty quickly, but the notion that star wars was, from its inception, made to sell toys, or that george lucas made more from the toys than he did from the movies, has i believe been debunked.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 13:50 (one year ago) link

film crit hulk tackled a lot of this issues in a recent essay, particularly this one: "there's also this assumption that characters will behave in ways that are logical to the _viewer_ rather than having their own, alien motivations. maybe there weren't kamikaze hyperspace attacks before because nobody had ever thought of one before!"

http://observer.com/2018/07/film-crit-hulk-the-beautiful-ugly-and-possessive-hearts-of-star-wars/

supreme court justice samuel lance-ito (voodoo chili), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 14:31 (one year ago) link

<3 Film Crit Hulk

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 18:58 (one year ago) link

yeah i actually read and enjoyed film crit hulk's essay last week (and then forgot i was repeating one of fch's points! obviously i agree). i think fch's point that people think the movie is "bad" because they don't agree with it, but it kind of goes beyond that for me, where you have people accusing characters behaving in psychologically plausible ways, not trusting their allies, etc., of being "unrealistic". the stuff backlashers are most adamant about calling "unrealistic" are things that are happening in the world right now. that's what rubs me the wrong way about the fans, it's less that they don't like the movie but they refuse to accept reality. this is why i think they are bad people.

at the same time i don't want to emphasize too hard the notion that star wars is about an alien society, because that weakens it as social/political allegory. backlashers who accuse tlj of promoting a women good/men bad agenda aren't really giving holdo proper consideration, because there's an argument to be made that she is, at the very least, a seriously flawed leader. chain of command (i can't believe these wehraboo shits don't understand basic chain of command) means that holdo didn't _have_ to explain anything to dameron, but her decision to not trust her underling, while certainly rational and well-motivated, was probably a poor one, one that revealed her inexperience. her engaging in a kamikaze attack is also not necessarily super praiseworthy. for all we know kamikaze attacks might be considered morally reprehensible in that millieu.

i am rewatching this week and i will acknowledge that it has certain flaws. particularly the casino planet sequence - while within the larger framework of the movie it's necessary, both from a pacing and from a character development point of view, it was markedly inferior to previous iterations of the sequence (any series that wishes to survive long-term has to adopt iteration). the shaggy-dog sequence really needs something like the absurd touch of the coens to work. also, the depiction of the child slaves came a couple years too soon - we would have had something better-rendered than fucking space newsies if it were done today.

there's so much else in this movie that does work, though, that it seems stupid to focus on the few substandard bits. god, at some point mark hamill actually learned how to act! that was fun to watch.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 12 July 2018 01:42 (one year ago) link

Wait, didn't this film come out just 7 months ago?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 12 July 2018 01:51 (one year ago) link

sure but it wasn't _filmed_ 7 months ago

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 12 July 2018 01:52 (one year ago) link

the most underrated part of the casino scene is that little dude who thinks bb-8 is a slot machine

mh, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:19 (one year ago) link

...who, apparently, was voiced by Mark Hamill

mh, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:27 (one year ago) link

for all we know kamikaze attacks might be considered morally reprehensible in that millieu.

They certainly weren’t in the OT!

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:39 (one year ago) link

& certainly not so in Rogue One either!

the reasoning for not putting hyperdrives on cruise missiles seems obvious to me - they’re expensive and take time to spin up, during which sensors are able to detect their activation early in the process; the only reason Holdo’s maneuver succeeds is because she turns around the ship at the last second, after the FO officers have already decided to ignore it (“it’s empty”) and she’s piloting a massive vessel with incredibly powerful shield generators.

a launcher firing hyperspace-enabled drones would be a huge liability for any ship big enough to carry one. Flexible fighters that can dodge their way in close have a better return on investment. IRL, this is why we use carriers as flagships instead of big rafts covered in MLRS boxes (although yes, against adversaries with weak aerospace A2/AD, cruise missile destroyers play a very important role)

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:53 (one year ago) link

The slow bombers with weak-ass shields in the opening sequence make literally no sense to me though. Those things are trash, it really is a complete fuckup by the FO that they lost a ship to that run.

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:56 (one year ago) link

“Let’s buy a half dozen of something that’s worse than the Y-Wing in every possible category”

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:58 (one year ago) link

I feel like this scene and the salt-skiiing skimmers with their red plumes both offered that primal "HOLY SHIT AWESOME" which is one of the things I come to Star Wars for. And then you make up whatever explanation you have to make up in order to facilitate that feeling.

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, December 22, 2017 12:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The only thing that annoyed me about that scene was that she waited so long to do it. She just stood and waited while the transporters got shot down.

― Frederik B, Friday, December 22, 2017 12:20 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

made up explanation: the transporters have to be a certain distance away or the polar-ray dynasphere effect of actuating the hyperdrive matrix will scramble their navigational circuits

― Newb Sybok (Doctor Casino), Friday, December 22, 2017 12:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:00 (one year ago) link

aren't the bombers just continuing the analogy to old-school aerial warfare? bombers are heavy and slow and need to be protected by lighter fighters while they execute a bombing run...?

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:00 (one year ago) link

The empire tricked out some TIE fighters as bombers as seen in ESB, when they were pounding that asteroid searching for the Millenium Falcon, not sure why the Resistance couldn’t have pulled off something similar.

omar little, Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:05 (one year ago) link

oh who knows. the chronology and origins of the resistance and first order vis-a-vis the new republic remain totally obscure, so for all we know, all kinds of really great stuff got nabbed by the first order in the confusion as things split apart, or got wiped out between the movies, so what we're seeing in TLJ is sort of the last clunky scraps of the arsenal. another reason for leia and holdo to be pissed off at poe for sacrificing this gear willy-nilly!

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:09 (one year ago) link

Y'all are so great at watching movies

Simon H., Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:10 (one year ago) link

And you’re great at being a snob! Everyone wins

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:14 (one year ago) link

tie bombers had like three bombs in them and made the smallest dent in an unshielded asteroid, c’mon

and part of it comes down to tactics and scale. a single fighter going to hyperspace is going to make an instant impact crater on a huge ship and it’s a shit strategy, it’s a bigger missile even if the velocity is so high.
in a large scale battle between actual militaries, which is what the resistance feels like even if it’s a unsanctioned force, there’s the illusion of military rules that confer legitimacy. a terrorist rebellion sacrifices huge warships or makes weapons out of capital ships and a ruling republic doesn’t

commander dipshit thinks the first order is an insurrection against a regime and never considered he’s actually got the real upper hand that people would suicide bomb

mh, Thursday, 12 July 2018 04:39 (one year ago) link

I mean, that is what made the prequel trilogy both a tragedy of undercooked storytelling and too real (although still undercooked) when it came to intergalactic struggle — there was a republic that existed as a representative group, with independent states, impartial mediators in the form of jedi, and no standing galactic army. Someone swoops in and creates a struggle where the mediators become not-impartial warriors and they obtain an army, making the manufactured enemy seem legitimate and wrecking the balance

in the interim between movies there’s an untold half-cooked republic that doesn’t want an army, and the allure of allying with a strongman is inevitable because everyone saw what happened. So you blast the senate out of existence and suddenly it’s once again the armies-are-bad faction and the strongman who thinks any resistance is a legitimate army — and unfortunately, they mostly act that way because they want legitimacy. Until, boom, they have nothing left and they’re the rebellion again.

Star Wars goes, for better or worse, back to the idea of whether you can have a standing military claiming to represent a multitude of states and interest fighting against that strongman

mh, Thursday, 12 July 2018 04:51 (one year ago) link

her decision to not trust her underling, while certainly rational and well-motivated, was probably a poor one

I don't think "should I loop in the guy who got our entire bomber fleet and several fighter pilots killed, earning him a demotion? Nah." is a poor decision at all. For all she knew he'd repeat the same mistake immediately. Which he almost did!!

Eliza D., Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:19 (one year ago) link

it didn't really cost them much either other than a short 5 minute delay while he attempted a coup

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:28 (one year ago) link

Holdo was entirely in her rights. Poe is a dangerous maniac.

what upset me the most about Holdo/Leia was the way they just gave him a pass because they still like him for some unexplained reason minutes after he just nearly got them both killed and tried to mutiny.

Poe being the face of the heroes is maybe the main reason i am not looking forward to 9. i just don't like this character. if he died offscreen in the intro scroll that would be fine w me.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:33 (one year ago) link

he was a hero pilot who saved many lives in many, many missions. he made a grievous (and fatal) error, but it's not like it erases his past heroism in their minds.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:35 (one year ago) link

I like Oscar Isaac as an actor but there's something off in the way the Poe character is written or acted that makes him very unappealing beyond "Hey! Handsome Dude!" Like they were going for Han Mach 2 and ended up with Cocky Bro.

Cocky Brolo?

An Uphill Battle For Legumes (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:43 (one year ago) link

I don't think "should I loop in the guy who got our entire bomber fleet and several fighter pilots killed, earning him a demotion? Nah." is a poor decision at all. For all she knew he'd repeat the same mistake immediately. Which he almost did!!

― Eliza D.

to reiterate i agree that she had ample motivation to not loop him in, but the effect of that was that holdo, a new leader who had yet to earn the trust of those serving under her, came in and said "OK, we're continuing our death march to nowhere, respect my authority." That's not really good for morale. At the very least she could have said "I have a secret plan I can't tell you about right now". and to reiterate i don't think this is a flaw of the _movie_ but a flaw in the _character_.

i'd like poe less if he hadn't (along with everybody else in the film) received significant character development during the film. on my second watch i admit i am getting a little wore out on john boyega's constant look of surprise.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:55 (one year ago) link

it didn't really cost them much either other than a short 5 minute delay while he attempted a coup

― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal)

rewatched this section of the film today, not really true, his idiot plan meant that her non-idiot plan got given away to the first order, resulting in the deaths of about half of the fleet. poe's dumbshit plan basically got luke skywalker killed. that's what makes his character arc so satisfying to me - he lives in a world where everybody wants to be han solo and shoot first, and his arc allows him to be something other than a dipshit han solo imitation. i guess on rewatch i am starting to see why all the dipshit han solo wannabes hate it. yeah, this trilogy, and particularly this movie, focuses on new, young characters with abilities and motivations of their own - if your idea of a sequel trilogy which consists of the old cast getting together and reminiscing about old times i guess it's not going to be the movie you wanted. personally, speaking as a lifelong fuckup, the film's message that you can be a complete fuckup and still be a hero is just the movie i wanted to see.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 12 July 2018 22:53 (one year ago) link

idk how much I'd put that squarely on Poe, I mean, the initiative for getting on the First Order ship to turn off the light speed tracker came entirely from Finn and Rose. Poe just greenlit it and contributed the idea to call Maz. and while it is largely his burden as he was a Captain and enabled it to go forward, I'm not entirely sure he wouldn't have preferred that plan to Holdo's plan if he had heard both of them side by side.

It was a bit easier for him to accept the Crait escape when he was already in an escape pod headed there, and after he'd audibly heard Rose and Finn fail over the intercom, than it probably would have been had he heard both plans in real time when they were temporarily safe from First Order attack ships.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 July 2018 22:59 (one year ago) link

can't remember: does it ever explain why the rebel fleet all sticks together to be destroyed, rather than fleeing in all different directions?

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 13 July 2018 01:41 (one year ago) link

No directions in space

devops mom (silby), Friday, 13 July 2018 01:52 (one year ago) link

imo the funniest part is when Poe finally learns more about the plan and he then immediately radios over to his friends ON A FIRST ORDER SHIP on an open channel and tells them what is up

like, jesus, no wonder no one wants to tell this guy anything

mh, Friday, 13 July 2018 01:59 (one year ago) link

I take that back, they were heading to a first order ship, stranger in tow, where they could be captured

mh, Friday, 13 July 2018 02:00 (one year ago) link

while i have some passing familiarity with military concepts like "chain of command" i'm not overall interested in shit like order of battle and i didn't go in to star wars looking to see a good war movie

this is why i don't believe in the notion of a "workmanlike" blockbuster - i think people have many different notions of what makes for a "good movie" and a successful blockbuster film needs to satisfy most or all of them

i think the backlash against tlj shows the impossibility of this. the things the backlashers expect to see out of a "star wars" film go beyond presumption - they run completely contrary to the requirements of a successful blockbuster film. this isn't limited to the right wing - the demands that the "doctor strange" film include a tibetan character and actor in a film that needed to make money from the chinese market were to some extent along the same lines - but this demand, while impractical, was not _unreasonable_. tlj backlashers are both - and the tlj backlash is by far more hateful and virulent than critics of "doctor strange".

a lot of these fans are still operating on the level of insinuation and suggestion, so let's bring it out into the open a little bit. there are a lot of fans who are mad about the consistently respectful and non-sexualized treatment of female characters in the film. they wanted to see daisy ridley in a harem girl outfit and chains and instead they got sexy shirtless hunk adam driver. i'm sorry, i know it looks like i'm strawmanning here because it's so ridiculous, but i'm not, this is what a significant subset of these fans actually want, and they're furious that they're not getting it. it goes beyond the level of "actually, a parsec is a measurement of distance" to an insult they cannot possibly accept the existence and legitimacy of.

yeah, i absolutely do believe the fight over star wars is symptomatic of the breakdown of a belief in the "common good", the breakdown of our common ability to recognize each other as, for lack of a better word, human, similar to the complete breakdown and subsequent realignment of every american institution along political lines in the 1850s.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:00 (one year ago) link

...what?

El Tomboto, Friday, 13 July 2018 13:05 (one year ago) link

I think you will find that if you turn off your Blackberry and cast your eyes into the broader world beyond, the TLJ backlash magically disappears. Like, I'm only aware that anyone even cares about the movie one way or the other because of ILX threads.

Sgt. Laughter (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:28 (one year ago) link

But yes, it's possible to find insane people with insane nitpicks regarding anything under the sun if you dig deeply enough into the fetid loam of the intranetz.

Sgt. Laughter (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:30 (one year ago) link

i absolutely do believe the fight over star wars is symptomatic of the breakdown of a belief in the "common good"

this is absurd.

it's a hugely popular movie series and people always complained about it. people gave them so much shit for ROTJ, Ewoks, Death Star 2, etc. ditto with prequels. the series began as a take on b-movies, which were always known for being these silly movies you pick apart. nobody cares if you question to logic of a Roger Corman movie.

it has been a hugely popular movie series all over the world for decades. hundreds of millions of people will not agree on something 100%. they never had and they never will.

add in the current media infrastructure that profits from highlighting deplorables and turning every single facet of life into a culture war.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:43 (one year ago) link

i wish i could concur with y'all's positioning of the internet as a fundamentally imaginary space with no relevance to the wider world

btw adam your last sentence comes across as being fairly redolent of lugenpresse, i recommend you check yourself

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:51 (one year ago) link

It's not imaginary or irrelevant but it is largely ignorable and avoidable if you're inclined in that direction. Like, it certainly has a tangible impact on people's beliefs and behaviors but your proximity to the fringes might determine your perception of how extensive that impact really is.

Sgt. Laughter (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:54 (one year ago) link

If, for instance, I read a lot of far-right twitter reactions to TLJ, I might fail to realize that 999 out of 1000 people are completely unaware that far-right twitter reactions to TLJ even exist.

Sgt. Laughter (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:57 (one year ago) link

i spent most of 2016 ignoring maga chuds

it's true that i am a lifelong fringe-dwelling geek and that these things are probably more relevant to me than they are to anybody who isn't a fringe-dwelling geek

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:59 (one year ago) link

the normal people I know who don't read speculation about star wars movies on the internet got, at most, a viewing of the actual movie followed up by maybe seeing a couple "Fans angry about movie characters" headlines they browsed past but didn't read

this would include a few coworkers who have younger kids that are sitting around streaming the movie on netflix a bunch this week

mh, Friday, 13 July 2018 15:43 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

Luke da Ghost

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:31 (one year ago) link

Finding a truly satisfying conclusion to the Skywalker saga without her eluded us. We were never going to recast, or use a CG character. With the support and blessing from her daughter, Billie, we have found a way to honor Carrie’s legacy and role as Leia in Episode IX by using unseen footage we shot together in Episode VII.

Meh.

devops mom (silby), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:48 (one year ago) link

‘princess leia’s going to spend a surprising amount of time talking to her dog, asking her assistant to grab her a muffin from the craft services table, and telling dirty stories about harrison ford in episode 9’

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:51 (one year ago) link

Killing her in the opening crawl would've been totally fine but noooo we get Season 3 Tony Soprano's Mom

devops mom (silby), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:55 (one year ago) link

JJ Abrams has never made up anything in his life I'm pretty sure

devops mom (silby), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:56 (one year ago) link

yeah that was my first thought too :( xp

always a good idea to tortuously rewrite a script around the available words you have on the cutting room floor from a dead cast member than to find a more elegant solution

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:57 (one year ago) link

A hack is rarely elegant.

An Uphill Battle For Legumes (Capitaine Jay Vee), Friday, 27 July 2018 21:01 (one year ago) link

I demand the other films get redubbed with Grant and McGann immediately.

pic.twitter.com/5Q304AohTV

— MichaelCoffee (@MichaelTCoffee) July 27, 2018

Ned Raggett, Friday, 27 July 2018 21:23 (one year ago) link

idk it's kinda impressive of JJ to basically say "what my bosses did to peter cushing in rogue one was sick and wrong"

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Friday, 27 July 2018 22:17 (one year ago) link

They said that immediately after her death, though - it's a line they've kept to since.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 27 July 2018 22:32 (one year ago) link

Rogue One would not have been the same without Tarkin. Now I would have been fine if they simply hired another actor but that's not the way these people think.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 27 July 2018 22:52 (one year ago) link

They should just reuse her footage from Catastrophe and have her being inexplicably vile to everyone.

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 27 July 2018 23:57 (one year ago) link

Richard E Grant as Great Miff Turkin

An Uphill Battle For Legumes (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 28 July 2018 00:37 (one year ago) link

Great Tuff Merkin

devops mom (silby), Saturday, 28 July 2018 00:42 (one year ago) link

Grand Withnailkin

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 28 July 2018 01:48 (one year ago) link

lol REG is the 2nd male Girls alumnus in the cast

can they get one of the 4 female leads to do Daphne Zuniga's 'i broke a nail' Spaceballs thing?

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 28 July 2018 01:54 (one year ago) link

I would 💯 see a Star War if it were Carrie Fisher outtakes from Catastrophe with BB-8 cgi'd in

16, 35, DCP, Go! (sic), Saturday, 28 July 2018 02:24 (one year ago) link

^^^

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Saturday, 28 July 2018 03:19 (one year ago) link

tarkin-mendelsohn stuff was mildly interesting in rogue one but not crucial and could have been done with some new character, grand moff icky for example. the cgi was distracting and the fact that they did it was creepy, bleah.

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Saturday, 28 July 2018 03:31 (one year ago) link

I’m starting to recognize the folly of having more than one thread for a franchise that spans more than ten movies and at least as many small screen spin-offs.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 28 July 2018 05:15 (one year ago) link

I understand what you're saying, but at the same time I think this is probably the best place to relitigate Ewoks: The Battle for Endor. I mean...Wilford Brimley? Really?

Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Saturday, 28 July 2018 07:31 (one year ago) link

He’s still available to reprise his role

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Saturday, 28 July 2018 13:18 (one year ago) link

How has no one mentioned that we get Lando

mh, Saturday, 28 July 2018 14:16 (one year ago) link

I thought that had been revealed several weeks ago. I knew about it, anyway. I hope I wasn't expected to spread the word. That would be really embarrassing.

Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Saturday, 28 July 2018 14:21 (one year ago) link

Throw in some scenes from Soapdish too, and I'm there

Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 28 July 2018 15:01 (one year ago) link

Maybe a couple scenes in bed with Bruno Kirby

Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 28 July 2018 15:02 (one year ago) link

I feel like this really needs to just be an R-rated Chewbacca-centric revenge flick where he just goes John Wick on the First Order, all the Knights of Ren and any other poor schmuck in between him and Kylo. I want him to go HAM offscreen like Terence Stamp in The Limey, and then roar threateningly at the one guy he intentionally lets live as a warning to the others.

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 July 2018 00:06 (one year ago) link

was going to say "would also watch" until I remembered this is still co-written & directed by JJ Abrams

16, 35, DCP, Go! (sic), Sunday, 29 July 2018 00:57 (one year ago) link

they made a murderous wookiee bounty hunter character in the comics and he’s everything you’d hope for as far as murderous wookiee fan service goes

mh, Sunday, 29 July 2018 01:02 (one year ago) link

I don’t want some rando Wookiee, I want Chewbacca to finally tear out some limb-from-limb justice for all the friends he’s watched die over 60-odd years of this far, far away galactic bullshit

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 July 2018 01:27 (one year ago) link

it's kinda sad that yoda, while stopping in as a force ghost in last jedi, didn't make time to go visit chewbacca too. "ahhhhh my old friend, i have never forgotten our time together" etc.

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:16 (one year ago) link

I forgot RotS pretty quickly, so I'm sure Yoda did too

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:22 (one year ago) link

we actually never know if he stops in on Chewbacca tbf, because we never spend enough time with Chewbacca in these freakin' movies

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:22 (one year ago) link

I feel like this really needs to just be an R-rated Chewbacca-centric revenge flick where he just goes John Wick on the First Order

For the purpose of exposition, Chewbacca in a starring role would require some tiresome character(s) constantly saying stuff like, "what's that Chewie? you want my light saber? but you don't know how to use one", just so there could be some kind of dialogue or character development other than Chewbacca roaring/ honking at everyone non-stop. Han Solo played that role in the first (now last) three films, but there has to be a limit to how much of that an audience would put up with.

Other than that little technical problem, it sounds like a great idea.

A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:31 (one year ago) link

tbf most all "grizzled wetwork operator goes on revenge tour" films tend to feature extremely taciturn protagonists pitted against cocksure kingpins who blather on and on, oblivious to their inevitable fate until the climax, so I dunno how much expository spoken-subtitling Chewie would need.

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:35 (one year ago) link

Yeah does John Wick have lines?

devops mom (silby), Sunday, 29 July 2018 04:10 (one year ago) link

About 460,000 results for does Chewbacca have a penis.

Roomba with an attitude (Sanpaku), Sunday, 29 July 2018 04:19 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

....and worlds collide.

https://variety.com/2018/film/news/star-wars-episode-ix-matt-smith-1202886507/

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 28 August 2018 18:18 (one year ago) link

there was a Doctor Who in the first Star Wars!

▫◌▫ (sic), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 19:56 (one year ago) link

phantom menace? who is it? ;-)

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

And wasn't one of Empire's bounty hunters dressed up in an old Doctor Who costume as well?

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 01:55 (one year ago) link

Can someone please enlighten me as to which Dr. Who was in the OG Star Wars and who he played?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 02:45 (one year ago) link

Peter Cushing, who was in an unofficial/official Doctor Who movie or two in the sixties.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:04 (one year ago) link

He played Grand Moff Tarkin.

▫◌▫ (sic), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:10 (one year ago) link

Yes, but who did he play in Star Wars?

Blag Blingeeborp (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:12 (one year ago) link

He played Alec Guinness

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:14 (one year ago) link

Ok, I had no idea Peter Cushing played Dr. Who at one point.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:16 (one year ago) link

I was expecting it to be some random cantina alien or something

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:32 (one year ago) link

Well yes that also happened, Snaggletooth was I believe the Third Doctor.

Blag Blingeeborp (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:36 (one year ago) link

Yes, but who did he play in Star Wars?

― Blag Blingeeborp (Old Lunch), Wednesday, August 29, 2018 3:12 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

He played Alec Guinness

― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, August 29, 2018 3:14 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Actually Peter Cushing did play many games of holochess against Alec Guinness, while waiting between takes on the set of the Millennium Falcon.

Winner of the 2018 Great British Bae *cough* (ledge), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 08:01 (one year ago) link

captain kurk h8 klingons becos they kill his son

Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 10:02 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Funny. Many fair points. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f83D18xL7VE

piscesx, Sunday, 7 October 2018 18:54 (one year ago) link

I am not going to watch an hour-long YouTube about a two-hour movie.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 8 October 2018 08:21 (one year ago) link

plinkett reviews are generally really incisive tbf (if somewhat... problematic occasionally)

shrek and han solo kinda dress the same (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 8 October 2018 08:48 (one year ago) link

i will never forgive you for exposing me to that comment section

nba jungboy (voodoo chili), Monday, 8 October 2018 13:19 (one year ago) link

Holy shit I didn't realise it was Red Letter Media, gtfo here with that.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 8 October 2018 16:10 (one year ago) link

Like, I was going to say that in the year of our lord 2018, I don't really want to watch something where the screengrab is a caricature of Comic Book Guy, whether the balance is praising or damning that straw man, I didn't realise it is the one site that tries to set both to 11.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 8 October 2018 16:28 (one year ago) link

I’ve never watched any of those rape-comedy review things but I guess at least they’re saving time by coming out before the movie now?

Shy Betting Mega Hit (sic), Monday, 8 October 2018 16:44 (one year ago) link

I'll be impressed if that's their last Star Wars video because that shit brings the clicks like nothing else they do

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Monday, 8 October 2018 17:37 (one year ago) link

RLM’s “Best of the Worst” videos, in which they they clown on obscure Z-Grade horror and action flicks, are sooooo much more entertaining than anything where they’re obligated to weigh in on mainstream sci-fi/superhero franchises.

latebloomer, Monday, 8 October 2018 18:56 (one year ago) link

yeah, that's the only RLM that's worth a damn

closed beta (NotEnough), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 08:08 (one year ago) link

the thing I mainly hate about these videos (besides the obvious) is that they really only criticize movies on a script level, and tend to treat screenwriting as the Alpha and Omega of filmmaking

wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 10:59 (one year ago) link

plinkett feels like such an ancient unfunny meme at this point

princess of hell (BradNelson), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 11:59 (one year ago) link

xp iirc their vids about the sw prequels were thoroughly damning on a lot of levels - script, story, characterisation, acting, scenery, blocking... like the key moment at the end of the phantom menace one where they asked random people to describe in a few words the characters of han solo & princess leia, which they did no problem; then asked to describe princess amidala & qui gon jinn the response was "... uh... "

Toss another shrimpl air on the bbqbbq (ledge), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 12:00 (one year ago) link

'Sanjuro' for the latter!

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 12:05 (one year ago) link

I love it when YouTube film critics use the word "retard" to complain about how movies represent disability

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 14:07 (one year ago) link

"this fictional greasy nerd who has never heard of a shower and is obsessed with dressing down the star wars prequels and sequels definitely has bodies in his basement" = pure comedy

princess of hell (BradNelson), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 14:39 (one year ago) link

four months pass...

Disney shareholders got to see the first Episode IX footage today. They just wrapped principal photography last month, so this is probably not effects heavy stuff.

https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/54268460_314888339381251_3292474431070273536_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_ht=scontent-msp1-1.xx&oh=dd00a0a45259f2816aedbab4b2b7e795&oe=5D1A287E

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Thursday, 7 March 2019 18:41 (eleven months ago) link

I’m a Disney shareholder! Nobody invited me

moose; squirrel (silby), Thursday, 7 March 2019 18:44 (eleven months ago) link

damn, Kylo Ren is going to look at the Vader helmet

finally

Number None, Friday, 8 March 2019 16:22 (eleven months ago) link

phrasing

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Friday, 8 March 2019 21:50 (eleven months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Star Wars Twitter is abuzz with what appears to be a reliable leak of the Episode IX title, just two weeks before the panel for the movie at Star Wars Celebration.

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:03 (ten months ago) link

All I can find is 'Skywalkers'.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 29 March 2019 17:10 (ten months ago) link

The Milk of Human Kindness

The wettest sandwich you ever ate, guaranteed! (Old Lunch), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:11 (ten months ago) link

It's not Grim Resignation?

jmm, Friday, 29 March 2019 17:13 (ten months ago) link

that would be lame, so probably correct

silverfish, Friday, 29 March 2019 17:17 (ten months ago) link

though I would hope it means that there will be a character named "Will"

silverfish, Friday, 29 March 2019 17:18 (ten months ago) link

I was actually going to jokingly suggest Journal of the Whills so I sort of almost guessed one of the words, kind of.

The wettest sandwich you ever ate, guaranteed! (Old Lunch), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:18 (ten months ago) link

Fitting title, probably a very good time to write a will for this tedious series

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:19 (ten months ago) link

Awesome cast!

L-R

Snoke, GNK power droid, Maz, Salacious Crumb, Chewbacca, Wicket

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:27 (ten months ago) link

Star Wars X: The Force of the Jedis
Star Wars XI: The Death Star of the Force
Star Wars XII: The Force Returns and Also the Empire Returns

Sorry for spoilers.

The wettest sandwich you ever ate, guaranteed! (Old Lunch), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:28 (ten months ago) link

Birth Of A Jedi

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:34 (ten months ago) link

i hope there's a jedi named will in this one

affects breves telnet (Gummy Gummy), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:38 (ten months ago) link

title is kinda.................fascisty

Simon H., Friday, 29 March 2019 17:47 (ten months ago) link

triumph of the will of the force

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:48 (ten months ago) link

yes this is what i was getting at iirc

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:50 (ten months ago) link

Mein Kylo

a large tuna called “Justice” (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 29 March 2019 18:00 (ten months ago) link

wtf.. that title?

i got *chills* tho dunno about anyone else.

piscesx, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:19 (ten months ago) link

terible title, looks cool otherwise

pippin drives a lambo through the gates of isengard (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:30 (ten months ago) link

Again with the Skywalkers

jmm, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:31 (ten months ago) link

i'm on board for this one. good to see Lando, curious to see how they're going to handle the Carrie Fisher stuff, still a bummer that there won't be old Wedge in this series.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:31 (ten months ago) link

starwa.rs/adzYW5DZoWs

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:32 (ten months ago) link

I ALWAYS GET EXCITED FOR THE TRAILERS

im glad they brought back billy dee...not super-thrilled about the title or that palpatine-esque laugh at the end. seems like jj is gonna be back to his shenanigans.

to halve and half not (voodoo chili), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:37 (ten months ago) link

Rise of the anything should have been retired as an SF/Fantasy title a long time ago

pippin drives a lambo through the gates of isengard (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:37 (ten months ago) link

they're trying to keep that R of the BLANK naming convention i guess, but it's super corny

to halve and half not (voodoo chili), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:38 (ten months ago) link

w00t

the late great, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:52 (ten months ago) link

have the SW titles ever been polled?

pippin drives a lambo through the gates of isengard (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:52 (ten months ago) link

that was a good trailer

the late great, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:52 (ten months ago) link

Damn, I was hoping I could come back for some belated Will of the Force clowning. Because if no one forces you to watch it, will you? Rise of the Skywalkers is such a bland kind of bad title.

☮ (peace, man), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:55 (ten months ago) link

*Palpatine laugh*

How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?

jmm, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:55 (ten months ago) link

That being said, yes the trailer has me mildly interested against every ounce of my better judgement.

☮ (peace, man), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:55 (ten months ago) link

Rise of the Skywalkers is such a bland kind of bad title.

imo most of the SW series movie titles are "bad", we're just used to them.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:57 (ten months ago) link

Return of the Tuppence

calstars, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:58 (ten months ago) link

Again with the Skywalkers

― jmm, Friday, April 12, 2019 10:31 AM (twenty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:00 (ten months ago) link

if JJ undoes Rian's legwork to make the Force actually make sense as a unity in duality and is just like "actually the light side is good and wins" I will be fanmad

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:00 (ten months ago) link

w00t

― the late great, Friday, April 12, 2019 12:52 PM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

mh, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:12 (ten months ago) link

apparently ian mcdiarmid actually took the stage at the convention immediately following the laughs at the end of the trailer and said "roll it again" in the ominous voice

mh, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:13 (ten months ago) link

ian mcdiarmid was 39 when he played the emperor, mind-blowing

to halve and half not (voodoo chili), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:17 (ten months ago) link

oh god the trailer SUUUUUUUUCKS

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:18 (ten months ago) link

I mean whatever, it doesn't suck, there's just nothing compelling about this raft of movies. I can't stand Daisy Ridley's one-note acting. I can't stand JJ Abrams obsession with long shots of people breathing heavily. I can't stand the fan service stuff. This looks like an entertaining movie but not a good movie.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:31 (ten months ago) link

i got no chills

xp tbf, what other notes has daisy ridley been given to play

mookieproof, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:32 (ten months ago) link

ridley is good.

akm, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:36 (ten months ago) link

though I think the character they gave to Felicity Jones in Rogue One was more interesting.

akm, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:37 (ten months ago) link

looks like shit, bad title. I know people shit on the last one a lot because of the wonky plot but at least it had some visual flair.

Simon H., Friday, 12 April 2019 18:37 (ten months ago) link

yes I think what she brings to the role (and what Driver is able to do with his as well) are what make the new series worth seeing.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:38 (ten months ago) link

I guess it’s hard for me to tell how much of the weak characterization is her and how much is the writing or directing. But it’s definitely one note.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:47 (ten months ago) link

I've accepted that all I really need out of these movies is to hear the classic foley fx on cinema speakers.

change display name (Jordan), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:47 (ten months ago) link

canny wait

conrad, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:48 (ten months ago) link

haven't seen title; is it Rise of Nude Kylo Ren?

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:50 (ten months ago) link

Rise and Fall, close

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:59 (ten months ago) link

This one has to call back to Return of the Jedi and thus requires a gold underwear Kylo Ren.

jmm, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:00 (ten months ago) link

I think it's a good trailer (and a terrible title), but it's a J.J. Abrams Star Wars film - I'll save my breathlessness for the Rian Johnson ones upcoming.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:01 (ten months ago) link

ha ha, that looks dumb as shit (not least for how weird scope feels in a youtube window)

was Lando in Force Awakens or is Abrams bringing him back now for nerdservice bcz too many other characters are dead? that said, grrooooosssss at using CGI Fisher. Catastrophe got by without it, you cowards.

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:02 (ten months ago) link

pretty sure they (and the Fisher family) said any footage of Carrie was gonna be deleted stuff shot for the last movie tbf

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:13 (ten months ago) link

Apparently it's footage shot for TLJ?

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:13 (ten months ago) link

Rejected titles:

Skywalker Rising
Arise, SkyWalkers!
Skywalker Has Risen, Amen

akm, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:14 (ten months ago) link

it is not CGI Fisher

CGI Fisher would have been great in Catastrophe though

akm, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:14 (ten months ago) link

kylo’s helmet getting welded back together doesn’t bode well for abrams letting any changes johnson made in ep 8 slide

not that johnson actually followed through on any of the really interesting or surprising stuff he hinted towards, right enough

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:16 (ten months ago) link

The Skywalkers

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:22 (ten months ago) link

I always thought "Will of the Force" sounded like a sitcom about a jedi kid named Will. So why not "The Skywalkers"?

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:23 (ten months ago) link

Shhhh... Disney+ can hear you.

Johnny Fever, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:39 (ten months ago) link

it is not CGI Fisher

CGI Fisher would have been great in Catastrophe though

Fisher was never hanging out in a lush verdant forest in Last Jedi iirc, p sure they're CGIing her cut footage into new scenes

I'm totally down for her to be played throughout by a back-of-the-head double with dialogue stitched together from old audio though

REY: Thank you for leading us to safety, General Organa! The nine minutes I've spent in your company are the most profound experience of my life! [hugs]
LEIA: My voice is my passport. Verify me.

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:44 (ten months ago) link

not that johnson actually followed through on any of the really interesting or surprising stuff he hinted towards, right enough

Johnson's movie takes place in about two days of movie time and seemed to wrap up everything it was telling - not knowing the previous movie maybe meant I missed lots of "surprising" stuff, but what did you think could have been followed through upon?

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:53 (ten months ago) link

lol sic

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:07 (ten months ago) link

"Aren't you a little short for a--JEDI"

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:07 (ten months ago) link

I look forward to the 700 one-star reviews of the movie that will come out prior to the movie comes out

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:10 (ten months ago) link

Johnson's movie takes place in about two days of movie time and seemed to wrap up everything it was telling - not knowing the previous movie maybe meant I missed lots of "surprising" stuff, but what did you think could have been followed through upon?


johnson has some cool iconoclastic ideas, the potential of which ultimately don’t end up being delivered on imo

eg it feints towards kylo turning away from the dark side or rey turning towards it after snoke is killed, either of which would have been more interesting than the good guy / bad guy dynamic being almost immediately re-established

it makes a big deal of literally burning down the last remnants of the jedi order, which is undercut at the end by the jedi library being stashed in the falcon

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:18 (ten months ago) link

Expecting the final shots of Fisher to be as crackly blue hologram as Leia rises to...the occasion thus honouring the film's title because what other explanation for it could there even be.

nashwan, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:19 (ten months ago) link

I look forward to the 700 one-star reviews of the movie that will come out prior to the movie comes out

vs 70,000 proudbro declarations that they got their star war back based on the title and that final laugh alone

nashwan, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:24 (ten months ago) link

it makes a big deal of literally burning down the last remnants of the jedi order, which is undercut at the end by the jedi library being stashed in the falcon

my read on this is: symbolism, ritual, reverence are destroyed; the order is destroyed; knowledge is preserved

it feints towards kylo turning away from the dark side or rey turning towards it after snoke is killed

the latter could be cool in a "top the ESB cliffhanger" way but the former would be a disaster because the prospect of another jj abrams star wars movie is grim enough without "also adam driver isn't the villain anymore". nevertheless, to me, that these two characters, whose common ground is a desperation to transcend star wars, would (ironically) have violently opposed visions of what a post-star-wars star wars universe would look like, or of how to prevent it from relapsing into star wars, makes more sense than that one would now become the other's right hand. they prob will in the third one anyway tho cuz yeah none of this is going to be coherently followed up.

difficult listening hour, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:30 (ten months ago) link

that trailer is just shots of things i recognize intercut with captions telling the third generation in a row that every generation has a star war. difficult to argue i guess

difficult listening hour, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:33 (ten months ago) link

into every generation, a star is warn.

☮ (peace, man), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:36 (ten months ago) link

Oh Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars, give me those Star Wars, don’t let them end

calstars, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:37 (ten months ago) link

vs 70,000 proudbro declarations that they got their star war back based on the title and that final laugh alone

― nashwan, Friday, April 12, 2019 4:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Proudbros beat up Star Wars fans

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:41 (ten months ago) link

it makes a big deal of literally burning down the last remnants of the jedi order, which is undercut at the end by the jedi library being stashed in the falcon

yeah, dlh otm: hidebound clinging to totems and traditions for the sake of traditions is stupid and retards development. texts can still be studied and reinterpreted in ways that fit a new world. take note, crybaby fanboys!

eg it feints towards kylo turning away from the dark side or rey turning towards it after snoke is killed, either of which would have been more interesting than the good guy / bad guy dynamic being almost immediately re-established

this was just deepening the relationship between them - they found common ground, they are a new generation of The Force or whatever, but the weight of their and Star Wars' histories means they can't repair the damage of tradition in a matter of seconds in the heat of battle. maybe they will forge a new union in the future, in the next film, when Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow write it! what a fun thing to leave for the next pairs of hands on the series to have the option to play with.

(but just in case, lets also put in an ending clearly showing that this good / bad, Rebel / Empire dichotomy and hereditary power structure does not have to be the way things carry on in the Star Wars universe)

it also fits that the entitled manbaby wants to carry on throwing his destructive ego-tantrum for the rest of the film: Johnson is giving him the chance to learn (or not) from his own actions, not be magically cured by the power of wuv.

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:57 (ten months ago) link

^^^^

at the end kylo is the villain because in the moment of freedom and possibility when everything can be reinterpreted and remade he decides the right way forward is to gather all power to himself. this is a much more thorough way of being a space fascist than "i work for gollum and i had darth vader sheets" so it's a big step forward for the character even if he doesn't move at all.

being left with the pairing of driver+gleeson as emotionally+ideologically committed dictator and congenital screaming toady-- now well-understood as characters and freed of all commitments to mystery-box superior officers or extratextual "lore" mumbojumbo-- was so promising that lol of course they're now promising us the emperor.

difficult listening hour, Friday, 12 April 2019 21:13 (ten months ago) link

(tldr I agree with sic / dlh)

The purpose of the burning of the remnant was its effect on Luke not Rey, though.

I thought TLJ left the possibility of either of Rey and Kylo turning as very open for the third - where it will probably be squandered. It was similar to the bit we didn't see where one film ends up with Luke learning that his father fell to the dark side, and the next starting with Luke turning up dressed in black and force-choking fools.

I think I'm probably stepping on nashwan's joke here, but I do fear that the mighty JJ Abrams "brain" has in mind a switch where it's not Kylo Ren but Rey that's rising because one of her parents was actually a Skywalker too!

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 21:17 (ten months ago) link

Welp glad we know the movie sucks now

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:22 (ten months ago) link

The purpose of the burning of the remnant was its effect on Luke not Rey, though.

yes, Luke is freed by it, because he was the only one holding onto the totems. we saw his world opened and mind changed by exposure to the knowledge when he was a kid 40 years ago, but now he's stunted himself by choosing to cling sadly to the shape of something familiar, rather than continuing to see the benefit of opening his mind to new ideas.

again, it make u think

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:29 (ten months ago) link

Welp glad we know the movie sucks now

JJ Abrams was announced as taking over on 6th September 2017

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:30 (ten months ago) link

CGI Vincent Price for the laugh at the end there.

Good cop, Babcock (Chinaski), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:32 (ten months ago) link

into every generation, a star is warn.

― ☮ (peace, man), Friday, April 12, 2019 3:36 PM (fifty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nicely done

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:34 (ten months ago) link

Fwiw, it's got Lando and Chewy and I really like Rey and Finn so I'm in.

Good cop, Babcock (Chinaski), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:35 (ten months ago) link

I will go to the cinema and watch it with my kids and it will be slightly better than some other films I could watch with them, this is all I hope for

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:39 (ten months ago) link

Obviously the title refers to all the little Skywalker children that Luke left scattered across the galaxy.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:48 (ten months ago) link

my Luke absolutely doesn't fuck

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:51 (ten months ago) link

he doesn’t need to, his midichlorians roam free across the galaxy looking to find purchase and reach fruition

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:54 (ten months ago) link

Lol at anyone paying attention to this nonsense in 2019.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:01 (ten months ago) link

/Shakey

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:01 (ten months ago) link

o shit the cool kid’s here

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:02 (ten months ago) link

maybe they will forge a new union in the future, in the next film, when Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow write it!

tbf you may be selling short the contributions of the only writer in common between Superman vs Batman and Justice League.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:05 (ten months ago) link

Desperately trying to think of a not-sucking way a film titled 'Rise of Skywalker' could go. Rey being a Skywalker anyway would of course be the worst, but a redemption of Kylo Ren would be awful as well. And Palpatine might be back? This sounds like it could be awful.

Frederik B, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:06 (ten months ago) link

Keep holding out hope. Maybe the next one will be good.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:24 (ten months ago) link

the only writer in common between

I was not aware of this, but to be fair, considering that Johnson began shooting his completed script 19 months before Mr Terrio replaced Connolly and Trevorrow on its successor, neither was he

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:25 (ten months ago) link

Is there a Death Star in this one? You have like a 50% chance that there is.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:25 (ten months ago) link

Maybe the next one will be good.

since it is likely to be a continuity-free movie by Johnson, it may!

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:28 (ten months ago) link

It looks like there's a piece of blown-up Death Star. They should probably blow it up again to be safe.

jmm, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:30 (ten months ago) link

Is there a Death Star in this one? You have like a 50% chance that there is.

― Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), 13. april 2019 00:25 (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Palpatine is finally getting it operational this time! Just you wait and see.

Frederik B, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:30 (ten months ago) link

Maybe the desert planet is just Endor after the ecological devastation of having a planetoid explode just outside its upper atmosphere

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:42 (ten months ago) link

anyone mention yet that apparently most of the Carrie Fisher footage is leftover from the last Abrams film, not TLJ, at least according to Abrams’

so that cut of her crying and hugging Ridley’s character is repurposed from the post-Han Solo death resolution, presumably

mh, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:54 (ten months ago) link

obviously Palpatine’s remains fell to the planet with the rest of the death star mk. 2 debris and he’s grafted himself a new body out of ewok parts

mh, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:56 (ten months ago) link

The line about how they’re never really gone when they die makes me think palpatine might return but it would be as a force ghost.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 23:17 (ten months ago) link

We’ve only had benevolent force ghosts to date but a naughty trickster like palps, not yet.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 23:18 (ten months ago) link

For the fifth goddamn time in a row now I have to ask: when the fuck is Lumpy joining the action? Christmas special was such a goddamn tease, I swear...

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 00:05 (ten months ago) link

MR. JOHNSON, I'M READY FOR MY TRILOGY

https://orion-uploads.openroadmedia.com/md_aa3e0ead5b78-starwarsholiday.jpg

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 00:09 (ten months ago) link

a rian johnson trilogy entirely in wookie speak take my money

american bradass (BradNelson), Saturday, 13 April 2019 00:15 (ten months ago) link

the laugh reminded me of andross’ in star fox 64

k3vin k., Saturday, 13 April 2019 01:18 (ten months ago) link

I really thought TLJ was just OK but the endless whining about it from both plot pedants and sexist jerks makes me wish I liked it more

Simon H., Saturday, 13 April 2019 01:27 (ten months ago) link

it was really good imo

k3vin k., Saturday, 13 April 2019 02:45 (ten months ago) link

mostly due to driver and the luke arc

k3vin k., Saturday, 13 April 2019 02:45 (ten months ago) link

the camera work, new take on force cave introspection, and Yoda dialogue sold TLJ and lots of bits were extra gravy

I was probably one of the most actives posters on the first Star Wars new trilogy thread for the force awakens and I’m probably bowing out, outside of posting dumb ideas that seem whimsical. Years go by faster with age and i’m guessing I’ll blink and we’ll be at December. Godspeed, you rebels

mh, Saturday, 13 April 2019 03:51 (ten months ago) link

Maybe the desert planet is just Endor after the ecological devastation of having a planetoid explode just outside its upper atmosphere

yeah after reading Seveneves I remember thinking "oh shit, that means the forest moon of Endor was probably obliterated by Death Star II debris, bright side they could do a Jurassic Park reboot where future Endorians recreate Ewoks from ancient DNA and they run amok and kill everyone"

the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Saturday, 13 April 2019 07:10 (ten months ago) link

I hate Star Wars mania passionately and thought Ep VIII was mostly good

this one will be the last I ever see and i'm fine w/ that

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 April 2019 07:22 (ten months ago) link

why would you even see this one, Doc

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 09:41 (ten months ago) link

btw lol @ jj

Y'ALL. #StarWars pic.twitter.com/nnCuKbaaiA

— Andrew Heiss, PhD (@andrewheiss) April 12, 2019

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 09:41 (ten months ago) link

why would you even see this one, Doc

btw this is a sincere question for Morbs, no shade at ppl who see all of these no matter who makes them or how much they suck: I’ve seen 26 fuckin’ James Bond movies

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 10:49 (ten months ago) link

why would you even see this one, Doc

btw this is a sincere question to Morbs, no shade at ppl who see all of these no matter who makes ‘em or how much they suck: I’ve seen 26 fuckin’ James Bond movies

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 10:50 (ten months ago) link

Honestly, though, how much fun would the discussion be if they were all unimpeachably amazing

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 14:38 (ten months ago) link

the worst thing bout star wars now is feverishly hot takes on what scalded star wars bros will take issue with

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Saturday, 13 April 2019 16:40 (ten months ago) link

just imagining the collective groans in the cinema when we get to the Rey vs. TIE Fighter bullfighting in the desert sequence and she completely whiffs with the lightsaber

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:12 (ten months ago) link

^^ This is why I've seen all the recent SW and Marvel things at smaller theatres out in the suburbs or someehing, usually days or a week after the films open. Black Panther is a recent exception. I can't deal with the vocal uber fans "awwww"-ing every time a character dies or "wooohooo" -ing whenever someone pops up on onscreen. No, I don't "hate fun" but I really hate overtly vocal expressions of fandom. Makes me cringe. Cosplayers as well.

Carly Jae Vespen (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:22 (ten months ago) link

I went to Dark Knight on opening night and this guy in the crowd timed a loud fart right as the movie started

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:26 (ten months ago) link

Actually saw Force Awakens In NYC on its opening night and -- yeah --- that was it.

Carly Jae Vespen (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:27 (ten months ago) link

xpost lollll

Carly Jae Vespen (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:27 (ten months ago) link

It me.

Carly Jae Vespen (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:27 (ten months ago) link

they all arrive at the dunes across from the Death Star debris and go "wow, look at that!" and then carry on to their intended destination: another bar scene

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:29 (ten months ago) link

droids keep getting smaller while lightsabers, like hairdryers, remain stuck in the same form factor as they were in the 70s

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:33 (ten months ago) link

the lando and chewie bit is actually the first time the post-credits scene has been used in a teaser trailer; JJ still has some tricks up his sleeve, you see

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:35 (ten months ago) link

Did he shoot from a script this time or is this gonna be another movie written in the edit bay

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:38 (ten months ago) link

Which Beastie Boys song will he play in this one (my money is on 'Girls')

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 19:40 (ten months ago) link

(Probably played over the climactic Rey/Ren fight in lieu of the same old John Williams snoozeage)

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 19:42 (ten months ago) link

Which Beastie Boys song will he play in this one (my money is on 'Girls')

Whills! to keep a journal
Whills! to study the Force
Whills! That's all I really want, is Whills
two at a time, I want Whills
defying oblivion through compassion, I want Whills

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 21:15 (ten months ago) link

ridin cross the land
kickin up sand
first order's on my tail because i'm in demand

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 13 April 2019 21:18 (ten months ago) link

one lonely bb-8 i be
all by myself without nobody
the sun is beatin down on my spherical DOME
i have no diegetic function, i wanna go HOME

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 13 April 2019 21:22 (ten months ago) link

you cant you wont you dont HOTH

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Saturday, 13 April 2019 22:10 (ten months ago) link

I'm kinda trying to do something with egg man here but it doesn't seem to need any changes

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 23:03 (ten months ago) link

the first few lines are about Lobot iirc

omar little, Saturday, 13 April 2019 23:04 (ten months ago) link

Excuse me, I have to go pitch a Beasties-scored Lobot movie to Disney real quick.

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 April 2019 01:06 (ten months ago) link

Egg Raid on Lobot

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 14 April 2019 01:16 (ten months ago) link

Lololol

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 14 April 2019 02:59 (ten months ago) link

Vader will show up in this one surely.

chap, Sunday, 14 April 2019 19:33 (ten months ago) link

Jar Jar please

findom haddie (jim in vancouver), Sunday, 14 April 2019 19:40 (ten months ago) link

Mace Windau

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Sunday, 14 April 2019 19:54 (ten months ago) link

I wonder if Force Ghost Luke will finally get those power converters he was supposed to pick up forever ago.

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 April 2019 22:44 (ten months ago) link

Toshi Station has his picture behind the counter lest any of their clerks ever gets suckered into ordering shit that some fershlugginer Skywalker won't ever wind up paying for.

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 April 2019 22:47 (ten months ago) link

I wasn't sure I was spelling Toshi Station correctly but I looked it up and my spelling was 100% correct. Whew!

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 April 2019 23:46 (ten months ago) link

change thread title to Egg Raid On Lobot imo

blokes you can't rust (sic), Monday, 15 April 2019 07:26 (ten months ago) link

Since I didn't go to Star Wars Celebration this year for the first time since 2012, I've been at home this weekend watching all the livestreams and stuff. Not a lot was revealed during the Episode IX panel aside from the title, some stills (new costumes, Naomi Ackie's new character, Rose and Rey talking in what appears to be a Resistance base, etc.). But yeah, I was watching when the Ian McDiarmid thing happened, and the room went pretty insane.

Also watched the livestreams for the upcoming new "The Mandalorian" show, which actually looks pretty good. The sizzle reel and trailer that were shown were blacked out on the stream, but they've leaked to Reddit and some other places. (Recap and photos at https://www.starwars.com/news/swcc-2019-9-things-we-learned-from-the-mandalorian-panel) They're using a lot of practical and in-camera effects and models, and the actors are doing a lot of their own stunts.

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:05 (ten months ago) link

Anyway

https://i.imgur.com/8AKM3n7.jpg

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:07 (ten months ago) link

With the return of the Emperor, can Luuke Skywalker be far behind?

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:08 (ten months ago) link

well they have to establish Jorus C'baoth first

and we'll need to know about his teenage years

Number None, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:11 (ten months ago) link

not related to the new movie, but got a bit of a scare when I went to look up Boushh on Wookiepedia the other day and was met with a distressingly short article. https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Boushh

Fortunately, I realized that they had divided each page into Canon and Legends tabs: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Boushh/Legends

"Legends" is obviously where the ridiculousness lives.

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:11 (ten months ago) link

Episode IX trailer would have been better with Billy Dee's laugh in place of Palpatine's

jmm, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:15 (ten months ago) link

Only the Legends are real imo.

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:16 (ten months ago) link

agreed

Number None, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:17 (ten months ago) link

With the return of the Emperor, can Luuke Skywalker be far behind?

does abrams have the stones to bring this epoch-spanning, generation-spanning series to a close with the epic reveal of mark hamill playing his own evil clone? only time will tell

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:20 (ten months ago) link

If JJ cannot be persuaded, perhaps we will have to enlist the services of JJJJ.

Oold Lunch (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:29 (ten months ago) link

j jonah jameson... junior?

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:29 (ten months ago) link

JJ Abra'ams

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:36 (ten months ago) link

guys what if jj abrams is the evil twin of j abrams

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:37 (ten months ago) link

jj bottom

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:38 (ten months ago) link

OMG, it would be the dumbest and most beautiful thing in the world if like Chewbaca and IG-8 and Jar Binks suddenly showed up out of nowhere to confront the clones that had replaced them years earlier.

Oold Lunch (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:59 (ten months ago) link

jj binks

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Monday, 15 April 2019 14:21 (ten months ago) link

keyser_soze_reveal.gif

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 14:23 (ten months ago) link

jean-jaude jan jamme

american bradass (BradNelson), Monday, 15 April 2019 14:29 (ten months ago) link

btw Gina Carano being so excited about being in the SW universe is absolutely freakin adorable

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHuLZvCnEfo

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 15:16 (ten months ago) link

Carl Weathers too, actually

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 15:16 (ten months ago) link

Action Jaxxon

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Monday, 15 April 2019 16:18 (ten months ago) link

Please don't tease.

Oold Lunch (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 16:21 (ten months ago) link

I'm watching the Episode I 20th anniversary panel while I'm at work, and based on that and an interview with Ahmed Best on the show floor yesterday (this is his first appearance at a convention), Lucas was prescient about one thing - the kids who grew up with Jar Jar love him. Who knew.

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 17:33 (ten months ago) link

yeah, kids definitely like all kinds of stupid crap

Number None, Monday, 15 April 2019 18:15 (ten months ago) link

eg star wars

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 18:16 (ten months ago) link

quite

Number None, Monday, 15 April 2019 18:17 (ten months ago) link

Lucas was prescient about one thing - the kids who grew up with Jar Jar love him. Who knew.
Well, the kids who grew up with the Ewoks (such as me) love them, whereas AFAIK a lot of people who saw RotJ as teens or adults hate them. So is it surprising if the same happened with Jar Jar? Or with any cutesy sidekick in a family-friendly franchise, really?

Tuomas, Tuesday, 16 April 2019 08:23 (ten months ago) link

But the Ewoks were cute. And competant!

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 08:25 (ten months ago) link

Ewoks weren't stepping in dogshit and tripping over their own body parts. They were expert hunters and warriors.

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 08:26 (ten months ago) link

people who hate the ewoks are just displacing their guilt over america's instigation of innumerable wars of imperialist aggression

this is canon

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 08:59 (ten months ago) link

The saddest part in any Star War is when an Ewok tries to wake up his mate who's been killed by a laser.

chap, Tuesday, 16 April 2019 11:40 (ten months ago) link

This is true, yeah.

Tuomas, Tuesday, 16 April 2019 11:53 (ten months ago) link

star war is hell

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 11:56 (ten months ago) link

xxp: definitely.

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 12:07 (ten months ago) link

I would've gone with 'Jedi Rocks' as the saddest moment but I guess I can see where y'all are coming from.

A Cheetah Drenched in Applesauce (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 12:23 (ten months ago) link

Star Wars Episode 7 The Rise of Skywalker. The Emperor lives.

— Gabriel Garcia (@GabbyG41) November 22, 2012

EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 16 April 2019 20:56 (ten months ago) link

https://youtu.be/LAf0QnLFS7Q

Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Wednesday, 17 April 2019 02:59 (ten months ago) link

one month passes...

Vanity Fair's Episode IX issue is out, as always with these issues including a photo shoot by Annie Liebovitz.

Cover story: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/05/star-wars-cover-story

Photo gallery: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/photos/2019/05/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-exclusive-photos

Who Are the Knights of Ren? https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/05/star-wars-the-knights-of-ren-make-their-long-awaited-return

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 13:54 (nine months ago) link

Composer John Williams conducting the Star Wars score, drawing on themes and motifs he has woven across four decades. “I didn’t think there would ever be a second film,” he says.

i like to imagine he said that with a long, drawn-out sigh of grim resignation

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 13:59 (nine months ago) link

They don’t do it that way because it’s easy. Abrams and his crew had to build miles of road into the desert. They basically had to set up a small town out there, populated by the cast and extras and crew—the creature-effects department alone had 70 people. The Jordanian military got involved. The Jordanian royal family got involved. There was sand. It was coarse and rough and irritating and it got everywhere.

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:08 (nine months ago) link

“This trilogy is about this young generation, this new generation, having to deal with all the debt that has come before,” Abrams says.

otm

jmm, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:11 (nine months ago) link

He needed Leia to tell the story, but Abrams didn’t feel like a digital Carrie Fisher could do the job, and there was no way Lucasfilm was going to re-cast the role.

But then a strange thing happened. Abrams remembered that there was some footage of Fisher left over from The Force Awakens, scenes that had been changed or cut entirely, and he dug them up. “It’s hard to even talk about it without sounding like I’m being some kind of cosmic spiritual goofball,” Abrams says, “but it felt like we suddenly had found the impossible answer to the impossible question.” He started to write scenes around the old footage, fitting Leia’s dialogue into new contexts. He re-created the lighting to match the way Fisher had been lit. Bit by bit, she found her place in the new movie. “It was a bizarre kind of left side/right side of the brain sort of Venn diagram thing, of figuring out how to create the puzzle based on the pieces we had.”

i have a bad feeling about this

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:14 (nine months ago) link

if there's one thing abrams is known for, it's his uncanny ability to successfully navigate and resolve narrative puzzles

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:15 (nine months ago) link

lol Zorri Bliss
another nice costume tho

shit I forgot Richard E Grant signed up

nashwan, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:44 (nine months ago) link

“There’s a loss of innocence, a sense of innocence that existed in the 70s that I don’t think to any extent exists today,” Kennedy says. “I think that has to permeate the storytelling and the reaction to the stories and how they’re set up. It has to feel differently because we’re different.”

At the end of May, Disneyland will open Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, a massive, 14-acre, $1 billion attraction where you can fly the Millennium Falcon, be captured by the First Order, and drink a blue milk cocktail (it’s actually nondairy) and Coca-Cola products out of exclusive BB-8-shaped bottles at the cantina.

jmm, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:56 (nine months ago) link

Disney presumably using the proceeds to commission all those experimental films George Lucas now finally has time to make

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 15:09 (nine months ago) link

Ah yes, the famous post-Vietnam-&-Watergate innocence.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 15:11 (nine months ago) link

xp since they own LucasFilm lock, stock, and barrel he'll presumably be creating GeorgeFilm and shopping his new work around to multiple distributors

mh, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 15:22 (nine months ago) link

(it’s actually nondairy)

this is the lost innocence part

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 18:23 (nine months ago) link

It is however a heavily-dyed beef slurry.

5 favrite kind of animal. jaguar. giraffe. (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 18:30 (nine months ago) link

I refuse to drink it if I don't get to fill a bottle from the teat of a weird sea creature,

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 19:04 (nine months ago) link

Ah yes, the famous post-Vietnam-&-Watergate innocence.


Yeah. Stupid way to put it. Should have said kids now are more jaded from content over-saturation or something.

And yet maybe more open to something like the garish theme park than people of that generation would have been?

beard papa, Thursday, 23 May 2019 16:52 (nine months ago) link

well, innocent in that those things still seemed like relative outliers in the historical landscape for many people and not, like, a tuesday

mh, Thursday, 23 May 2019 16:54 (nine months ago) link

“There’s a loss of innocence, a sense of innocence that existed in the 70s that I don’t think to any extent exists today,” Kennedy says.

check out the juxtaposition of the quote and who said the quote

recriminations from the nitpicking woke (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 23 May 2019 17:01 (nine months ago) link

haha

mh, Thursday, 23 May 2019 17:06 (nine months ago) link

Kennedy graduated from Shasta High School in Redding, California, in 1971.

On October 30, 2012, she became the president of Lucasfilm after The Walt Disney Company acquired the company for over $4 billion.

mh, Thursday, 23 May 2019 17:07 (nine months ago) link

one month passes...

Stupid fan theory as likely as any here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzeOrA2in1c

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 22:58 (seven months ago) link

is anyone even going to care about star wars beyond this one

ciderpress, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 23:09 (seven months ago) link

That leads to his crazy fan theory!

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 23:12 (seven months ago) link

I’m not gonna watch a video to find out what the crazy theory is, and I don’t really care about the conclusion to the Skywalker Saga. I’m only interested in Star Wars movies directed by Rian Johnson from now on

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 02:18 (seven months ago) link

It's a funny video. Anyway, crazy fan theory (only partly tongue in cheek) is that having hit a narrative dead-end, JJ Abrams and the writer (who did Batman V Superman and Justice League, double ugh) will just dive in and go time travel. Their two big predictions, based on next to nothing but instinct, is that 1) Luke will return more powerful than ever a la Gandolf, and that 2) stopping the bad guy from doing the thing will involve going back in time. Who knows? Who cares?

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 02:31 (seven months ago) link

The correct spelling is Ganondorf.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 05:46 (seven months ago) link

Ganondorfongolf.

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 06:30 (seven months ago) link

I was reading on my phone, so I didn't even realise it was a RLM video - get the fuck out of here with that!

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 07:08 (seven months ago) link

Are they bad? What happened? I liked all their other Star Wars stuff.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 11:53 (seven months ago) link

What will the stars do with their time when they are no longer at war?

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:15 (seven months ago) link

(It just occurred to me that they put Death Stars in 85% of these movies to make the series title something more than a vague reference to space battles.)

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:17 (seven months ago) link

What will the heroes do with their time when they are no longer at war with the (Death) Stars?

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:17 (seven months ago) link

They should make a sequel from the perspective of the Death Star.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:53 (seven months ago) link

Yes Planet Wars would be a more accurate name for the franchise.

chap, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:53 (seven months ago) link

Or 'Planet Fights'.

chap, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:59 (seven months ago) link

Astroid Grudge

akm, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 13:01 (seven months ago) link

Kylo Ren tearfully visits the gravesite of millions of fallen Death Stars, taken before their time.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 15:28 (seven months ago) link

Speaker for the Death

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 15:35 (seven months ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n1T3HxHd7Y

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 26 August 2019 15:36 (five months ago) link

New trailer is meh, but The Mandalorian looks dope

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 26 August 2019 15:39 (five months ago) link

The scene of the scooby gang cresting a dune and finding themselves at a kite festival or something (?) looks very prequely.

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 26 August 2019 15:59 (five months ago) link

rian johnson: "the past is past. acknowledge it and move on"
jj abrams: "fuck that shit--look it's fuckin palpatine!"

jakey mo collier (voodoo chili), Monday, 26 August 2019 16:17 (five months ago) link

lol at the idea introduced with each wave of sequels that what the fans are really clamoring for is just cooler lightsabers.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 16:19 (five months ago) link

very "fuck everything, we're doing five blades."

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 16:20 (five months ago) link

The scene of the scooby gang cresting a dune and finding themselves at a kite festival or something (?) looks very prequely.

Yes! Are people getting nostalgic for George Lucas' obsession with painting a bunch of bullshit into every frame?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Monday, 26 August 2019 16:31 (five months ago) link

Well ... Phantom Menace came out in 1999. If someone was, I dunno, 10 then they'd be 30 now. So maybe?

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 16:44 (five months ago) link

‘THIS CHRISTMAS’ huh

thanks presnidetn trump

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 26 August 2019 16:51 (five months ago) link

xp fwiw I'm 32 and have only ever felt antipathy for the prequels, though I do know their fans allegedly exist.

Auld Drink of Misery (zchyrs), Monday, 26 August 2019 17:09 (five months ago) link

The more I see from ep IX, the more I am convinced that all of these new movies are one big mistake

Auld Drink of Misery (zchyrs), Monday, 26 August 2019 17:10 (five months ago) link

I knew the Phantom Menace worked the way it was designed to work when after it was released I saw all these little kids dressed as Anakin or Darth Maul and not a single kid dressed as Luke or Leah or Han or Vader.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 26 August 2019 17:13 (five months ago) link

I think giant markets/street fairs are cool if the characters actually have something to do there and there’s a sense of movement in the space!

untuned mass damper (mh), Monday, 26 August 2019 18:13 (five months ago) link

They're really running with this 'the whole saga coming to an end' thing then. I mean i don't blame them showing Original Trilogy footage, especially after some of the reaction to the last film, which here gets pretty short shrift by comparison footage-wise. It's pretty smart, very much a JJ move. I wonder what JJ's real feelings about the last film are. I mean i know the official line but..

piscesx, Monday, 26 August 2019 18:50 (five months ago) link

a kite festival or something

they're at burning man, right?

I'm super enthusiastic about this and could use some Star Wars in my life right now tbh

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:19 (five months ago) link

'the whole saga coming to an end' thing

because surely after this there will be no more star wars movies

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:36 (five months ago) link

xp: there's only one burning man in my star wars.

http://media.comicbook.com/2015/12/vader-funeral-pyre-163047.png

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:41 (five months ago) link

how quickly we forget uncle owen and aunt beru :(

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:44 (five months ago) link

because surely after this there will be no more star wars movies

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, August 27, 2019 10:36 AM (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i doubt this is even the last star wars movie with members of the original cast. and it's DEFINITELY not the last star wars film with john boyega or daisy ridley.

jakey mo collier (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:44 (five months ago) link

I for one am looking forward to the origin story about the coroner on Tattooine who performed the autopsies of Beru and Uncle Owen

FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:44 (five months ago) link

"turns out they burned to death"

jakey mo collier (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:49 (five months ago) link

natural causes iirc

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 15:50 (five months ago) link

with JJ at the helm I feel no interest in this whatsoever honestly.

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 16:28 (five months ago) link

I mean that's just a nothing post, what I mean is The Last Jedi is the best Star Wars movie and I don't see why it needs a sequel, not any loose ends really

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 16:29 (five months ago) link

also a fair point

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 17:53 (five months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/vS6ObQb.gif

DJI, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 18:35 (five months ago) link

lol

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 18:58 (five months ago) link

my first thought at that kite festival shot in the trailer, when the little puff of smoke/firework/whatever goes off was that it reminded me of those cool colorful smoke flares in mad max fury road. followed immediately by the thought: "why in fuck have they not gotten george miller to do one of the stupid side movies"

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:22 (five months ago) link

seems like he'd say no

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:39 (five months ago) link

Miller spent two years on someone else's IP (the Justice League movie including Toecutter / Immortan Joe actor Hugh Keays-Byrne as J'onn J'onnz) only to have it axed days before shooting began.

He has spent three of the four years since Fury Road fighting Warner Brothers to pay him for making Fury Road, with the intention of signing a deal to make another three Mad Maxes if they agree to abide by the contract for the last one.

Dude is 74, and I hope he has not given 13 seconds thought to taking a few years out & directing Alden Ehrenreich in Solo 2 for Disney.

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:43 (five months ago) link

happy feet 2 takes place between rogue one and new hope iirc

however, the first happy feet takes place in the maze runner universe, confusingly

lowkey goatsed on the styx (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:43 (five months ago) link

I assume Miller was one of the 300 directors who passed on "Return of the Jedi." Well, three or four, but still.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 20:47 (five months ago) link

I'm hoping for another Babe sequel

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 21:44 (five months ago) link

John Carter 2-27

FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 22:09 (five months ago) link

well sure yeah theres a million reasons for him not to do it, still, fun to fantasize abt a dumb bounty hunter movie made by a director with actual skills at imaginative world building

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 22:32 (five months ago) link

True story: Jedi and Sith orders were started in the same building by some really talented people with good intentions. Original miniseries order extended to 3 full seasons. Light-nunchucks are involved

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 28 August 2019 01:49 (five months ago) link

Paul Reiser guest stars

FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 02:26 (five months ago) link

This is the greatest tumblr post I have ever seen. I want this to happen.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ED5jkPxWsAALa0Q?format=jpg&name=900x900

I don't get wet because I am tall and thin and I am afraid of people (Eliza D.), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:14 (five months ago) link

It's his kid, Joey Palpatine

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:16 (five months ago) link

imagining him still going "ahhhhhhhhhh!" as he falls for decades

untuned mass damper (mh), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:17 (five months ago) link

"if only there was a way we could fly with the Force!"

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:20 (five months ago) link

He used the lightning from his fingers to form a Faraday Cushion.

nashwan, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:22 (five months ago) link

it’s like poetry, it rhymes

don’t bore us, get to the aeon of horus (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 16:25 (five months ago) link

three weeks pass...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

*splat*

mh, Thursday, 3 October 2019 18:35 (four months ago) link

The Fall of Palpatine

jmm, Thursday, 3 October 2019 18:58 (four months ago) link

I was talking to a friend recently about how before The Force Awakens, the character and plot material in trailers/interviews made it relatively clear what we were in for, what kind of things would happen, where we'd end up by the movie's end. While not without faults, The Last Jedi kind of blew that out of the water and I'm just wanting to be shown something new and completely unexpected. It's freeing!

mh, Thursday, 3 October 2019 19:54 (four months ago) link

Yea that's exactly where I am out. Zero expectations for what might occur

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Thursday, 3 October 2019 20:13 (four months ago) link

*at

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Thursday, 3 October 2019 20:13 (four months ago) link

I'm going to laugh my ass off if I see a goddamn Ewok, that's my stance

mh, Thursday, 3 October 2019 20:15 (four months ago) link

I don't plan to watch this movie but if I hear there are Ewoks I'll be tempted

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 3 October 2019 20:26 (four months ago) link

love those guys!

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 3 October 2019 20:26 (four months ago) link

How about "an absolutely adorable new character: Babu Frik"

☮ (peace, man), Thursday, 3 October 2019 20:26 (four months ago) link

even Ewoks won't make me watch a JJ movie

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Thursday, 3 October 2019 21:21 (four months ago) link

wait I saw his impossible mission a few weeks ago but I forgot it already

Simon Pegg works in an office and...... I'm out

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Friday, 4 October 2019 00:19 (four months ago) link

They made a movie of the Commodore 64 game?

Vernon Locke, Friday, 4 October 2019 00:45 (four months ago) link

They made an Eliza movie

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Friday, 4 October 2019 01:04 (four months ago) link

You rang?

two weeks pass...

Final trailer tonight, tickets on sale tonight, there's this for now:

New trailer tease promo for Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker ! #StarWars #TheRiseOfSkywalker pic.twitter.com/syZHH7PsZm

— Zcure1 (@Zcure1) October 21, 2019

And to quote our own Eliza D:

Hey, everyone, the Ghost from #Rebels is in the new #StarWars #TheRiseOfSkywalker trailer. (via https://t.co/AT4sWiF8vZ) pic.twitter.com/Bf105uSxjG

— JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING BUT TRANS (@Liz_UNfair) October 21, 2019

Ned Raggett, Monday, 21 October 2019 18:23 (four months ago) link

I was only half-joking the other day when I declared that now that my last planned vacation of the year has ended, I can devote myself to being hyped for Star Wars

mh, Monday, 21 October 2019 18:26 (four months ago) link

xp And someone else pointed out that that appears to be the Colossus from Resistance behind it.

Eliza, should I try checking out Resistance again? It seemed aimed at a younger audience than Rebels, which I enjoyed a lot, when I tried a few episodes.

mh, Monday, 21 October 2019 18:31 (four months ago) link

IMO it took about 4 episodes to get good, and then it got really good. It's definitely pitched a bit younger but the storytelling is pretty solid and it's not afraid to explore more adult themes, too.

noted!

mh, Monday, 21 October 2019 18:33 (four months ago) link

I thought TFA was pretty much fine, and TLJ was very good, and I am certain that JJ will make me angry with this one.

lost IDM classics (lukas), Monday, 21 October 2019 20:08 (four months ago) link

so in the first act, they visit a desert planet to find the galaxy's greatest pod racer

mh, Monday, 21 October 2019 20:14 (four months ago) link

I'm hopefully not going to go see this b/c I don't have the energy to be made angry by star wars

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Monday, 21 October 2019 20:15 (four months ago) link

https://io9.gizmodo.com/the-first-big-cameo-of-star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-1839232886

Also spotted in this epic shot are Nebulons, Brah’atoks, U-Wings, Lucrehulks, MC75s, Nebulon Bs, Sphyrna-Classes (aka the Hammerhead Cruiser from Knights of the Old Republic), what looks like a Baleen-class heavy freighter (the ship Han Solo and Chewie have in The Force Awakens), a Defender Class Corvette, maybe even a YT-2400 light freighter, Lancer-class pursuit craft, a MG-100 StarFortress SF-17, a Vakbeor-class cargo frigate, a Free Virgillia-class Bunkerbuster, and many, many more. All of which are real things on Wookieepedia if you want to check.

So hop to.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 21 October 2019 20:23 (four months ago) link

oh jeezus tickets for a fuckin December movie

it's a maaaadhouse

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Monday, 21 October 2019 20:26 (four months ago) link

Are lucrehulks what the thinly disguised jewish stereotype aliens fly?

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Monday, 21 October 2019 23:16 (four months ago) link

Different stereotype I thought but

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Lucrehulk-class_battleship

Ned Raggett, Monday, 21 October 2019 23:35 (four months ago) link

Anyway, AMC theaters already have their digital lines going so you might want to consider that...

Ned Raggett, Monday, 21 October 2019 23:40 (four months ago) link

Alamo also on sale now. Basically, get on it.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 00:01 (four months ago) link

I'm pretty sure everyone will be able to find a cinema showing this once it opens, at a time that's convenient to them

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 00:11 (four months ago) link

Amazing!

(Why yes I have first showing tickets for the Thursday night.)

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 00:12 (four months ago) link

First (non-3D) showing at my theater was already sold out except for the very front row, had to get tickets for the next show.

got my ticket at the only real IMAX in town. only $7 thanks to Regal's unlimited plan.

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 01:26 (four months ago) link

sadly one of my besties who always makes the flicks with me can't make it :(

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 01:26 (four months ago) link

That was kinda vague.

piscesx, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 02:01 (four months ago) link

1981 Emperor’s throne room thumbnail sketches by Ralph McQuarrie for #ReturnoftheJedi. #StarWars #TheRiseOfSkywalker pic.twitter.com/I6insw60vJ

— Phil Szostak (@PhilSzostak) October 22, 2019

I do like the hypergrandiose arrangement of the main theme, but Williams is fully bowing out with this one so why not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlnrOr2STaE

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 02:09 (four months ago) link

Gotta be a monumental first here: A Star Wars poster on which actors of color are the majority ✨💜✨💜✨ pic.twitter.com/79Xay7jEnU

— Rosie Knight of The Comet 💥 (@RosieMarx) October 22, 2019

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 02:13 (four months ago) link

LOL

pic.twitter.com/0FgfbG0fub

— Greg Grunberg (@greggrunberg) October 22, 2019

This is the first trailer where I am not excited and let me tell u it feels weird

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 02:33 (four months ago) link

The multiple voiceover thing seems a little messy and it’s kind of cut like a clip show. Love those Star Wars, though

mh, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 02:51 (four months ago) link

Something really nice about that poster I noticed -- Carrie Fisher is the very first name listed.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 02:53 (four months ago) link

Well deserved!

mh, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 02:54 (four months ago) link

I wasn't keeping track of this, but I got a promotional email earlier today, when tickets went on sale at the El Capitan Theatre; hours later, I idly clicked the link, and chose a random acceptable day/time as a test; there was one pair of good seats left, so... ok. I'm ready to "enjoy a laser & light show before each screening, photo ops with First Order Stormtroopers™ and costume exhibits" on the afternoon of Saturday, Dec. 21.

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 03:55 (four months ago) link

ticketed

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 04:10 (four months ago) link

Seeing these tentpoles on opening night in an old double-decker theater, with a packed house, is rarely not worth it

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 04:21 (four months ago) link

Can I make a brief observation? (I'm sure there are a zillion other Star Wars threads, but this is the one on top.)

I'm far from a trve kvlt SW fan (though I have friends like that -- one guy had a podcast for a few years, collects the toy figures, etc.). Like most ppl my age, I grew up loving the movies; bought a secondhand "visual encyclopedia" or two in the prequel era; etc. I have no deep investment in defending the "honor" of the property, and I lack the depth of knowledge to get into nerd-level discourse. But a person I follow on Twitter occasionally retweets these dudes declaring that they've found a new "plot hole" in the Star Wars storyline or mythology... and then a bunch of their followers pile on with smug affirmations (like, "Love to wear my Jedi robe and use my real last name when I'm supposed to be hiding out from space Nazis," or whatever).

And I can never resist butting in with a explanation/rebuttal, because (a) it feels lame to be picking apart a narrative that (to my understanding) wasn't even really fleshed out beyond the first movie when that was made, let alone planned to take shape the way it is, after being cobbled together over the decades; but also (b) I realize that there actually *are* good responses to these "gotcha!" posts, which even I (in my casual fandom) am able to easily identify and point out. If anything, it's impressive how reasonably coherent the SW universe actually is, when you realize how these little nitpicks actually can be resolved if you step back and apply a little thought to the problem ("No-Prize" style), rather than rushing to publicly declare what a supreme boss you are for having outwitted the combined forces of George Lucas, Walt Disney, and Ron Howard. You know what I mean? That shit bugs me!

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 04:39 (four months ago) link

All mythmakers run into the same problem set fwiw. Pointing out plot holes in your epic of choice often just illustrates how blind you are to the ur-narrative, or something. All heroes are pie filling; all worlds are pastry - the way you tell an American story is there’s no lid.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 04:58 (four months ago) link

This looks tired and overstuffed. And they're riding silly horse creatures (again). Nice color grading, though.

SQUIRREL MEAT!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 07:15 (four months ago) link

Y U no like horsies

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 15:31 (four months ago) link

Apropos of Ned's comment above re: the music, if you're into SW music you can do worse than following this guy on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/fmlehman

That big iceberg in space looks good but Abrams still seems particularly reluctant to introduce new types of location into Star Wars (I don't think Death Star On Sea counts here and the stormy element makes it quite reminiscent of Kamino from Ep 2) so we're back to lots of scenes on Jakkooine and Forest Planet/Moon (lol is it Endor tho or what).

nashwan, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 15:43 (four months ago) link

can't wait to find out who finally wins the Star War

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 15:43 (four months ago) link

mods can we threadban morbs and shakey

Another new trailer. I like the direction they're going in.

https://youtu.be/PMW4Ad8fIF4?t=209

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 16:05 (four months ago) link

can't wait to find out who finally wins the Star War

The dudes who collect building utility data, obv.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 16:17 (four months ago) link

That big iceberg in space looks good but Abrams still seems particularly reluctant to introduce new types of location into Star Wars

not his fault they've already done all the types of planets

Number None, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:34 (four months ago) link

I was thinking the same thing... not sure how many new environments they can really incorporate (or if that should even be a goal). Anyway, the jungle moon really is Endor, right?

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:41 (four months ago) link

can't wait to find out who finally wins the Star War


the winner,,, is the moviegoing public

expedited frictionless convergences (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:45 (four months ago) link

they should do a planet with two biomes. the characters could go from one to another and be struck dumb w bewilderment

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:51 (four months ago) link

bubble planet
garbage planet
lava planet
crystal planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:53 (four months ago) link

planet made up of tiny sentient death stars
sentient planet
gambling planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:54 (four months ago) link

fur planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:54 (four months ago) link

They did the gambling planet in the last movie, it was da worst sequence

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:55 (four months ago) link

garbage planet

it's called Ord Mantell and it rules

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:55 (four months ago) link

They did the gambling planet in the last movie, it was da worst sequence

They did the gambling planet in the last movie, it was some quality Star Warsing

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 17:59 (four months ago) link

hair planet
cubicle planet
DMV planet

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:00 (four months ago) link

Nazi planet
gangster planet
Roman planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:01 (four months ago) link

lol

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:02 (four months ago) link

planet bearing an uncanny resemblance to mid-20th-century earth

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:02 (four months ago) link

Medieval Times planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:02 (four months ago) link

Car planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:03 (four months ago) link

baobob

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:04 (four months ago) link

discarded receipts planet
argumentative planet
smug planet

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:04 (four months ago) link

planet of the apes

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:05 (four months ago) link

is palpy actually going to be in this?

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:06 (four months ago) link

yes, are you tired of winning yet

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:06 (four months ago) link

Yeah. I think he prefers to be called "Sheevsy" though

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:07 (four months ago) link

jazz planet

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:08 (four months ago) link

YOUR COMING TOGETHER... WILL BE YOUR UNDOING genuinely made me lol tho so good job if they meant to

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:08 (four months ago) link

Casino scene could've been great in the last one but was uninspired (altho the tracking shot Wings homage was great). Should've had giant size version of Dejarik, people getting freaked out thinking the holograms were real monsters (would've made a good Back To The Future 2 homage). Also the story idk...

nashwan, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:16 (four months ago) link

It's about the atmospheres you're not feeling, man.

xxp

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:16 (four months ago) link

So will there be Ewoks in this or what?

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:16 (four months ago) link

rapping ewoks

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:17 (four months ago) link

the one Ewok we thought sadly died in ROTJ was cloned by Palps and man he is pissed

nashwan, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:19 (four months ago) link

Ewoks repping.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:20 (four months ago) link

Ewoks in The Battle of Epping Forest.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:20 (four months ago) link

lol

Re: Ewoks — sadly, the Endor Holocaust theory may be validated in this movie

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:26 (four months ago) link

i will actually watch this if palpy is in it. otherwise no.

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:27 (four months ago) link

I liked Endor Holocaust's first couple of records, but when the songs got shorter and more commercial they started to suck imo.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 18:29 (four months ago) link

hair planet
cubicle planet
DMV planet

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, October 22, 2019 2:00 PM bookmarkflaglink

Nazi planet
gangster planet
Roman planet

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, October 22, 2019 2:01 PM bookmarkflaglink

Jfk
Blown away

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:21 (four months ago) link

planet bearing an uncanny resemblance to mid-20th-century earth

― drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, October 22, 2019 11:21 AM (one hour ago)

god that looks deplorable

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:23 (four months ago) link

is nar shaddaa in this movie

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:26 (four months ago) link

it's wall-to-wall Jaxxon + Ewoks

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:27 (four months ago) link

i thought for sure nar shaddaa would be in solo

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:28 (four months ago) link

Action Jaxxon

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:28 (four months ago) link

difficult listening hour wrote this on thread Star Wars 7 shit talk on board I Love Everything on Apr 23, 2014

nar shaddaa or no deal imo

difficult listening hour wrote this on thread Star Wars 8 shit talk on board I Love Everything on Dec 22, 2017

GIVE CLAP ME CLAP NAR CLAP SHADDAA

difficult listening hour wrote this on thread Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD) on board I Love Everything on May 27, 2018

hi. does this movie have nar shaddaa

sigh

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:33 (four months ago) link

Nar Shaddah, Nar Shaddah
El-elyon an adonah

(That joke was for JCLC only and he will never see it.)

Hahahaha

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 19:40 (four months ago) link

lollll

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 20:11 (four months ago) link

i thought for sure shanana would be in solo

https://www.paradiseartists.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/bowzers-rock-photo01.jpg

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 22 October 2019 20:11 (four months ago) link

surely Luke will turn out to be Rey's dad, or maybe Obi-Wan

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:28 (four months ago) link

planet bearing an uncanny resemblance to mid-20th-century earth

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, October 22, 2019 6:02 PM (five hours ago)

oh my god, i was wrong
it was earth, all along

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:43 (four months ago) link

xp neither of those guys got nookie IIRC

drunk on hot toddies (morrisp), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:51 (four months ago) link

oh my god, i was wrong
it was earth, all along

you finally made a Wookiee out of me

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:52 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

holy shit, the opening crawl leaked!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfSS1OuA3ag

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 04:21 (two months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCskuXWh2l8

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 04:44 (two months ago) link

Not for long.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 5 December 2019 16:14 (two months ago) link

lol it very much wasn't the crawl. it was a joke video that i suspect Youtube took down

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 16:17 (two months ago) link

Copyright claim by Anti-Nowhere League

Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 5 December 2019 16:40 (two months ago) link

has abrams ever made a non-mediocre movie

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:08 (two months ago) link

well, there's all the bad ones

Οὖτις, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:11 (two months ago) link

Lol

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:11 (two months ago) link

lol

american bradass (BradNelson), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:11 (two months ago) link

his film credits listing is extremely grim

rob, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:13 (two months ago) link

which I guess makes him perfect for this

rob, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:14 (two months ago) link

I know JJ said he loved TLJ and hinted he wasn't looking to undo it, but troll part of me wishes that he would, and then he and Rian Johnson would alternate directing/writing Star Wars movies every two years and change things back, basically getting into cinema's version of a Wikipedia reversion war

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:18 (two months ago) link

Star Wars XII: Nuh Uh!

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:19 (two months ago) link

Damn, seeing this in exactly two weeks but my expectations feel sufficiently lowered thanks to all.

nashwan, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:30 (two months ago) link

I'm gonna love it

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:38 (two months ago) link

3P0 having a bigger (sacrificial?) role this time should be a plus. Don't really care about Lando tbh.

nashwan, Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:40 (two months ago) link

I had to actually check a week or so ago to see whether this was coming out this year or next. So clearly I'm v pumped.

A Lifeless Ordinary (Old Lunch), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:42 (two months ago) link

lando is great and will always have a special place in my heart for his role in the best scene of rotj (the first scene over endor when they realize that it's, uh, a trap)

jacquees, full of cobras (voodoo chili), Thursday, 5 December 2019 17:42 (two months ago) link

thank god someone is out here asking the questions that matter

pic.twitter.com/PXuNXTfbRi

— Bad Legal Takes (@BadLegalTakes) December 9, 2019

a synthesis of Trotskyism and Ufology (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 12:24 (two months ago) link

Like, a creative citizens arrest?

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 12:48 (two months ago) link

There aren't many problems that can't be resolved with a fan fiction council, ime.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:00 (two months ago) link

disney is famously forgiving of copyright infringement, i can't see what could possibly go wrong

a synthesis of Trotskyism and Ufology (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:02 (two months ago) link

Maybe SW should be and Choose Your Own Adventure

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:06 (two months ago) link

Unhealthy enthusiasm is nine-tenths of the law, iirc.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:13 (two months ago) link

xpost Doesn't matter what you choose, all stories end with the death star exploding.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:14 (two months ago) link

there are only three stories: man vs man, man vs death star, and death star vs death star

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:22 (two months ago) link

Man vs Death Star features Hulk Hogan cameo

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:24 (two months ago) link

Forget a cameo, if I were the producer of a franchise whose fanbase bitched this much, Hulk Hogan would be promoted to star in all forthcoming installments. Maybe even in multiple roles as if it were a mid-period Eddie Murphy joint.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:35 (two months ago) link

for motivation Abrams had to tell Hulk to imagine the Death Star was Gawker

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:37 (two months ago) link

shit sorry I forgot the fourth story, hulk vs gawker

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:39 (two months ago) link

speaking of Old Lunch, here comes mine

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:42 (two months ago) link

[INT: DEATH STAR COMMAND DECK. GENERAL HUX and KYLO REN are watching a flickering holographic message from rebel leader HULK HOGAN]

HULK: lemme tell ya, brother, hulkamania is gonna be runnin' wild over the death star, just like i ran wild over bubba the love sponge's wife

a synthesis of Trotskyism and Ufology (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 13:47 (two months ago) link

oh god

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:09 (two months ago) link

that reddit post is great bc the poster is basically asking what if star wars fans made their own content that didnt contain star wars branded elements - "Disney doesnt own the rights to lasers, space, people using abilities, etc" - in other words, create original intellectual property. But their brain is so warped by 21st-century fandom that they cant quiiiite grasp the idea of content thats not from preexisting IP, so theyre like "what if star wars, but NOT star wars, it would be like, OTHER star wars, could we get in trouble for it being star wars?"

Like hes hit upon the idea of it being possible for something other than star wars to exist but cant quite figure out how to articulate it from within his worldview of 'star wars is everything'. Kind of thrilling to read tbh, like someone trying to break out of the matrix

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:13 (two months ago) link

even the reddit people mocking the OP cant conceive of the idea non-branded creativity: "Just because you don't like the Disney movies doesnt mean you can make your OWN movies! How spoiled of you!"

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:17 (two months ago) link

What's even the point of a story without droids or at least one jedi in it, and how would that even work, I don't, I can't (nose begins to freely bleed)

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:20 (two months ago) link

In a galaxy far, far up my own ass

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:23 (two months ago) link

at last, spaceballs 2: the search for more money

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:23 (two months ago) link

I think assuming the person wants a space fantasy that's similar to Star Wars but isn't Star Wars is a really generous read of the question

They really want their own cultivated fandom where they toss out a bunch of things, throw other stuff in from non-canon books, and then write new fanfic or create fan movies. I don't think they hit on something non-Star Wars, but just want a Star Wars that panders directly to their own ideas about what should happen

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:30 (two months ago) link

i ended up on some reddit thread about people's creative dreams and so many of them were to write or create a star wars comic or something in the marvel universe, etc

global tetrahedron, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:32 (two months ago) link

I'm kind of sympathetic to that? Starry-eyed kids wanting to do something they find cool.

On the other hand, the best fiction that takes place in some established property tends to come from people who made their bones coming up with original ideas and creating new stories who then take on some corporate work because it pays and they just happen to be a fan

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:37 (two months ago) link

I don't think they hit on something non-Star Wars, but just want a Star Wars that panders directly to their own ideas about what should happen

― a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, December 10, 2019 9:30 AM (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I assume it would be exactly like the existing Star Wars except now they're fleshlightsabers.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:44 (two months ago) link

And, take it from me, it's pretty easy to just imagine that the jedi are constantly fucking their weapons whenever they're offscreen.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:45 (two months ago) link

I'm sure Eliza has some good feedback on this, but I think "what fans want" runs the gamut from people who want a badass Luke Skywalker and don't care about books all the way to crazed people who think they should have adapted books written in the 90s verbatim for the new movies

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:49 (two months ago) link

my creative dream is to write a comic about superheroes set in the Maus universe

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:50 (two months ago) link

I assume it would be exactly like the existing Star Wars except now they're fleshlightsabers.

it wouldn't be the first time that star wars merch has been sex-toy-adjacent

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-VUqq51FmwZA%2FT587azgoLII%2FAAAAAAAAGUw%2FYI2IBvPN6ZY%2Fs1600%2FJarJarBinksTongue.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

a synthesis of Trotskyism and Ufology (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:51 (two months ago) link

tbh I should write some horrible fanfic and see if I can get some traction

there should be a Skywalker/not-dead Boba Fett showdown, obviously

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:51 (two months ago) link

I think the sort of fan who, with any degree of seriousness, proposes a 'let's take over this franchise when the installment which hasn't even been released yet inevitably disappoints us!' is the sort of fan who fundamentally resists change within said franchise and who might ideally restrict themselves to whatever portion of the franchise they love and accept but would rather project their frustration over things they can't control in their own life onto a gargantuan thing that they were never going to have any control over and pretend that their projected frustration is both legitimate and proportionate.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 15:59 (two months ago) link

Lol bizarro.

Glad my work headset was muted when i saw that

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 16:05 (two months ago) link

the future is Solo twins sex fiction obv

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 16:57 (two months ago) link

Upon reflection, it occurs to me that the actions of both Lucas and Disney are somewhat responsible for giving overzealous fans the notion that this particular franchise can be redacted, remixed, slapped up, flipped and rubbed down according to one's whims with little respect for what came before. I mean you can't even watch the goddamn original cuts of the OG trilogy anywhere legitimate, fer chrissakes.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:11 (two months ago) link

Resurrect Han Solo and have him travel around the galaxy abruptly shooting people.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:14 (two months ago) link

I still find it hard to buy that Greedo didn't shoot first, maybe because rodians have permanent o-face.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:20 (two months ago) link

Old Lunch otm. For all the talk about how the Star Wars fans are the most entitled fan group there is, I don't think it's often enough pointed out how awfully the franchise has been handled.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:22 (two months ago) link

Let alone by the independently wealthy auteur himself, who had full creative control! The closest competition could be the Alien series, where after two masterpieces and a whole bunch of misfires or shit, the originator returns and ... makes equally bad if not worse sequels. (Though to be fair, at least they looked great, which is more than you can say for the prequels.)

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:27 (two months ago) link

*extremely prequel-defender voice* covenant is probably the third best alien movie imo

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:31 (two months ago) link

Damning with faint praise. "Covenant" is to the Alien series what Scott's "Hannibal" (the movie) was to the "Silence of the Lambs" series. Just because it's sort of aware of its overheated ridiculousness doesn't make it any smarter/better.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:37 (two months ago) link

I just think Star Wars is kinda in a league of it's own, what with the endless tinkering of the original trilogy on top. So you have three beloved cultural milestones, but nobody can see the versions they remember. Then you have three universally hated prequels. And a sequel trilogy, which seems to have been unplanned and ricochetted back and forth between two creators with very different ideas. And some spinoffs, of which one was well liked, and one bombed. It's really impressive, actually.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:46 (two months ago) link

Don't forget an expanded universe the volume of which, over the course of a couple decades, came to dwarf the amount of filmed material (largely released while the films were 'on a break') and which was mercilessly purged the moment Disney took the reins.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:51 (two months ago) link

Can you imagine the Doctor Who peeps saying, 'yeah, all that shit people made while the show was on hiatus for years and years totally isn't canon anymore, way to waste your time and money nerds'

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:53 (two months ago) link

OMG, I'm slowly coming around to the unhealthy perspective of the obsessive SW fanbase.

TAKE BACK THE 'WARS

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:55 (two months ago) link

The Disney retcon of what is now the "Legends" EU stuff was harsh and overbearing, but I think it was coming one way or another if more movies were going to be made. That EU spun off so much material that it was going to be near impossible not to step on the toes of some part of the EU.

Of course, now seeing how myopic and tantrum-y the fanbase is anyway, not sure it matters.

soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:55 (two months ago) link

Meaning some sort of reckoning with the timeline and EU was inevitable, I think. But they did minimize the EU in an awful way.

soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 17:59 (two months ago) link

I'd like to see a series that takes place 100 years after the new movie, about a wandering Death Star that's trying to learn the lost art of planet destruction.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 18:01 (two months ago) link

I have thought (not too hard) about the following angle -- what if Lucasfilm had made the new film series an actual reboot, not a continuation of the original story? The Force Awakens could have been refashioned into a straight-up reboot, with relatively few adjustments (remove Han & Chewie, chunks of the backstory, etc.). They could have started fresh and avoided the need to refashion the old continuity, and maybe it would have still been as successful. (I generally like the new movies, and I'm not saying this as a complaint... just a "thought experiment.")

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 18:08 (two months ago) link

Of course, they understandably would not have wanted to pass up the chance to work with the original actors, and conclude the OG characters' storylines, while the opportunity was still there.

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 18:10 (two months ago) link

This may have been mentioned upthread, but the irony of Star Wars fanboys almost, but not quite, grasping that they could make their own homage/pastiche of their beloved IP that is already a homage/pastiche of older stuff, is pretty rich

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 18:17 (two months ago) link

MACLUNKEY

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 18:47 (two months ago) link

Lucasfilm retconned a shitload of the stuff people complain about being gone yeeeears before Disney ever got their paws on anything

There's a bunch of material that came out after the prequels started to roll into theaters that has a foot in both the 90s expanded universe and the Lucas new-canon that's incredibly awkward

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 19:40 (two months ago) link

Incredibly awkward?! That doesn't sound like the Star Wars Expanded Universe that I know, sir.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 19:43 (two months ago) link

It's insanely less awkward these days! I'm all in favor of the new canon! Long live Lucasfilm, a division of Disney, Inc!

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 19:44 (two months ago) link

If you want your brain to explode into goo, I took the ill-advised step of searching out a fan discussion from the 2000s era:
https://boards.theforce.net/threads/have-they-retconned-the-spaarti-cloning-cylinders.18432696/

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 19:45 (two months ago) link

I didn't understand a word of that but my counterpart Oold Luunch was reading over my shoulder and seemed to grok it.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 19:50 (two months ago) link

back to the grim resignation for ep 9:

I'm enthusiastic about the scale implied by a huge fleet of star destroyers that's been unseen throughout the movies that seems to pop up. It's an idea that got thrown around in different forms in the fandom, but seeing a shitload of those suckers on screen is pretty awesome

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 19:51 (two months ago) link

I wanna see some 'opening scene of Spaceballs'-level commitment to the scale of such an endeavor. A good twelve minutes or so devoted to them slowly coasting into the scene.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 19:55 (two months ago) link

Like hes hit upon the idea of it being possible for something other than star wars to exist but cant quite figure out how to articulate it from within his worldview of 'star wars is everything'. Kind of thrilling to read tbh, like someone trying to break out of the matrix

lol yes

Can you imagine the Doctor Who peeps saying, 'yeah, all that shit people made while the show was on hiatus for years and years totally isn't canon anymore, way to waste your time and money nerds'

"the Doctor Who peeps"' position is in fact the far more sensible "there is no canon and never was, even the TV show."

Except for once when an outside PR firm wrote a press release for some downloadable computer games saying that they were canon. As the games are no longer hosted by the BBC, I suppose they've been downgraded to Gnostic gospels.

insecurity bear (sic), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:00 (two months ago) link

Then you have three universally hated prequels.

LOL. I spend A LOT of time deep in the fandom, and this notion is . . . well, you should go to an SW con some time, is all I am saying. You would be quickly disabused of this alleged universality.

I mean, the number of late 20s - early 30s female fans out there who count Darth Maul and Padme Amidala among their favorite characters, and Revenge of the Sith as a top-2 or -3 entry, is substantial.

I refuse to grimly resign myself to that fact

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:07 (two months ago) link

Damning with faint praise. "Covenant" is to the Alien series what Scott's "Hannibal" (the movie) was to the "Silence of the Lambs" series. Just because it's sort of aware of its overheated ridiculousness doesn't make it any smarter/better.

― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, December 10, 2019 10:37 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

it's not smart! it's just very misanthropic in a way i find weirdly compelling

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:08 (two months ago) link

also features unforgettable scenes of android fingering

a synthesis of Trotskyism and Ufology (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:11 (two months ago) link

xp I don't know how old Fred is but there is a SERIOUS contingent of SW fans who were 5-10 years old when TPM came out, got taken to the prequels by their parents, and grew up loving them. To them, Ewan MacGregor IS Obi-Wan Kenobi.

yes! xp

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:12 (two months ago) link

wouldn't classify myself as a star wars "fan" but i love the prequels and i don't see a vast quality difference between them and the original trilogy

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:13 (two months ago) link

so that serious contingent of sw fans are otm

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:14 (two months ago) link

i dislike the prequels but my hot-take is that the phantom menace is the best movie of the 3. the second one is the worst. "I don't like the sand" my eye!

#FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:16 (two months ago) link

Yeah, I know I'm supposed to toe the party line but on the basis of having seen all of the post-ROTJ films precisely one time each, I have to admit that the prequels (or at least the latter two) were more entertaining and memorable than the newer sequels. Which is not, notably, a qualitative statement.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:18 (two months ago) link

i've only seen the most recent of the new sequels (and solo) of the newer films and yes, phantom menace is better than those films

#FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:18 (two months ago) link

attack of the clones is sometimes my favorite bc of obi-wan's noirish clone factory investigation

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:19 (two months ago) link

I can never be mad at any movie that gave us that Ray Harryhausen monster-fight sequence.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/09/8d/9f/098d9fbd7f52436bb100744eff5eac7b.jpg

Cool i get to explain to my colleagues why I'm reading about fingering droids on company time good work all

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:19 (two months ago) link

the prequels are 10000x better than the force awakens but the last jedi is extremely tight y'all xp

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:19 (two months ago) link

i've only seen the most recent of the new sequels (and solo) of the newer films and yes, phantom menace is better than those films

― #FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, December 10, 2019 3:18 PM bookmarkflaglink

snoopshake.gif

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:20 (two months ago) link

I thought the Abrams/Johnson films were fun while I watched them but I'm continually stunned that I remember almost nothing about them aside from some of the Big Moments (and even those are a little fuzzy). I think that accounts for much of the reason why I'm not exactly excited about the new one.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:22 (two months ago) link

Say what you will about Lucas, but he knew how to make (or facilitate) a two-hour toy commercial that stuck with you.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:23 (two months ago) link

hmmmm I should do I "favorite Star Wars big monster" poll

The Last Jedi is the best star war

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:24 (two months ago) link

I'm not sure any of the prequels/subsequent sequels are worth a second viewing.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:25 (two months ago) link

Challops a plenty here, someone pls bring a different side dish

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:26 (two months ago) link

I recently re-watched TLJ for the first time since it came out, and genuinely laughed at the scene where Poe pretends to have connection issues in his video chat w/Hux ("...General Hugs?"). Say what you will, that s#$% is funny

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:27 (two months ago) link

I haven't seen Caravan of Courage since elementary school and I remember that thing better than The Last Jedi tbrr.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:29 (two months ago) link

Cool i get to explain to my colleagues why I'm reading about fingering droids on company time good work all


https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-NrXyBHka4Vs%2FU697zHscvXI%2FAAAAAAAARyc%2F7KRhfWP1-DA%2Fs1600%2FHan-Solo.gif&f=1&nofb=1

a synthesis of Trotskyism and Ufology (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:33 (two months ago) link

they're fingering recorders!

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:34 (two months ago) link

boy are they ever

a synthesis of Trotskyism and Ufology (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:35 (two months ago) link

hanblaster.gif (NSFW)

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:36 (two months ago) link

way to waste your time and money nerds

BTW: any aspect of the BBC that even knows that there were novels and comics in the '90s (or are novels and audios and comics* now), probably knows that there are a few hundred ppl who read the '90s novels at the time, and are still watching the show. The 7 million ppl who watch a new TV episode on BBC platforms in the week of transmission and never think much about it again can safely be regarded as "the other 100% of the audience."

Rian Johnson healthily seems to take this attitude even to rabid Star Wars fans, insisting that the hundreds of misspelled Last Jedi abuse replies on every tweet he makes about baseball games are a tiny proportion of the actual feedback he gets overall.


* extry extry for OL: the regular DW comic has been running unbroken since November 1964, with two caveats: a five-month break in 1978-79 (about 1/3 of the current gap between TV seasons) while it moved from TV Comic to Doctor Who Weekly; and sometimes in the Fourth Doctor era they would just draw Tom Baker's face over a Jon Pertwee face on older stories.

http://alteredvistas.co.uk/assets/images/Third181.gif http://alteredvistas.co.uk/assets/images/Fourth210.jpg

(The first and second Doctors, rather than being spacemen with companions from 18th century Scotland and 25th century orbital research facilities, were Earth inventors who travelled with their two prepubescent 1950s-born English grandchildren. CANON!)

insecurity bear (sic), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:38 (two months ago) link

I hate the sequels, and would really like to say the prequels are better. And they are more... 'interesting'. But I've tried to rewatch them, and they are unwatchable crap.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:40 (two months ago) link

*ponders firing up the pvmic thread*

a synthesis of Trotskyism and Ufology (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:40 (two months ago) link

xxpost Yeah, I know Who is much less precious about this stuff, what with all the 'timey-wimey (middle finger drifts in from the bottom of the frame)' and whatnot.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:41 (two months ago) link

And I'm not really under any pretense that most of the people stewarding these franchises care about fan reaction that doesn't come in the form of $$$.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:43 (two months ago) link

(I mean, the BBC ppl stewarding it aren't, bcz they don't get any of the $$$)

insecurity bear (sic), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:45 (two months ago) link

Attack of the Clones is up there with Woody Allen's 'Whatever Works' for me in the extremely small club of films that I'll always remember as "non-student films that were so badly made i couldnt believe i was actually seeing them in a real movie theater".

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:50 (two months ago) link

haha "Whatever Works" is so shockingly bad

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:51 (two months ago) link

Before I leave bg to c+p, the best illustration of Dr Who's attention to canon is that they destroyed Atlantis three different ways in five years. And two of them were in season finales, in successive years, written by the same two-person team. One of whom was the producer in charge of the show. But anonymously, bcz BBC policy didn't allow you to write for the show as well as working on it.

insecurity bear (sic), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 20:53 (two months ago) link

sic otm above

I think it's fair to say that the sequels and the prequels are both disappointing, but the prequels are just disappointing in a much more fascinating way. And I don't even hate the sequels, they're just...OK. TLJ has flashes of brilliance.

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 21:03 (two months ago) link

if this was 1985 we could be complaining about how ESB was too much of a thematic departure and ROTJ sucked

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 21:09 (two months ago) link

No

Frederik B, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 21:19 (two months ago) link

people did that!

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 21:22 (two months ago) link

I would rank AOTC above ROTJ (that's my "challop," I guess?)

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 21:23 (two months ago) link

due to when I came of age, my subjective stance is entirely tainted by having seen the original trilogy on VHS overly too many times. we'd have it running on a tv while playing board games until the wee hours of the morning when I was in high school at a friend's place

completely ruined my ability to judge anything star wars-related through any lens other than that of inflated cultural importance and locked the aesthetic into a particular set of characters and stylistic choices

a u.s. government department (mh), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 21:30 (two months ago) link

my stylist had Star Wars playing (on VHS) during my last haircut, I wasn't there very long but I was taking note that the whole middle part of the movie, between the somewhat emotional beginning and the action-packed end, is just a lot of hijinks and one-liners.

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 21:34 (two months ago) link

TLJ has flashes of brilliance.

In my TLJ rewatch, I noted how some of the movie is truly bad -- just bad dialogue, clumsy plotting, etc. -- but it also has these scattered moments of creativity and excitement where you get a jolt: This really works.

I guess that's how I responded in the theater, too... I remember being kind of bored for the initial stretch; but then when Leia did her Mary Poppins thing, I sat straight up -- like, "Oh, this is gonna be that kind of movie...."

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 21:59 (two months ago) link

lol Fred that is *literally exactly what happened*

http://www.acriticalhit.com/fans-react-empire-strikes-back-1980/

make sure you click through and read the piece David Gerrold wrote for STARLOG. Its criticism after criticism.

My hot take is that I watched the original again a few years back with my kid and my reaction was, it's nicely nostalgic to see this stuff again but this movie kind of sucks, and I'll bet if I ever watched Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi again, I'd feel the same way, which is why I won't.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:12 (two months ago) link

Very similar to when I last saw the original trilogy with my kids, their one and only time (they're just not that into Star Wars). I thought, yeah that was okay, but I'm out.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:14 (two months ago) link

If Leia had only worn her Force Awakens costume no-one would've made the Mary Poppins connection.

nashwan, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:16 (two months ago) link

Having been raised on the cultural afterbirth of two preceding films that I was barely old enough to remember as films, the release of ROTJ was an epochal depth charge at the most perfect point in my youth. A handful of years out, though, after the trilogy had become more accessible via cable and home video, I was able to recognize it as fairly flimsy in comparison to what came before but still an undeniable feast for the senses. It makes for a great reel of visual and sound design, and also there's some people talking and doing things.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:21 (two months ago) link

The Luke/Vader/Emperor scenes are great, I'll give it that.

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:24 (two months ago) link

tbh i think for me (38yo) the lasting impression of the original sw movies wasn't the memory of how *good* they were, it's the world they opened up for daydreaming and make-believe and such.

gbx, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:29 (two months ago) link

I do think the first two are truly good movies, fwiw

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:34 (two months ago) link

gbx otm

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:37 (two months ago) link

for kids of a certain age all the toys, comics, trading cards, merchandizing ephemera, etc. made the first two films just feel like a window onto a much larger universe that you had been invited to wander around in with your imagination. It didn't have much to do with the actual quality of the films.

needless to say any joy/interest in this "universe" was subsequently crushed/sucked out of me via over-exposure long ago. My son wanted to watch Empire over the Thanksgiving holiday, I didn't even bother to watch it with him, I went off to do something else.

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:40 (two months ago) link

I watched the de-specialized versions of the first trilogy a few christmases back, and they are most of the time legitimately beautiful.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:52 (two months ago) link

There will always be idiots who criticize something, some people think Hong Sang-soo isn't the filmmaker of the decade. So sure, there were some people who thought Empire Strikes Back sucked back then, and it might seem the same as thinking The Last Jedi sucks now. But no. Right now, wrong then.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 22:57 (two months ago) link

a lot of those 1980 comments are pretty funny, especially david gerrold's objection to "fast-paced cross-cutting" between characters in different places:

Crosscutting also implies simultaneity — a concept which most modern physicists say is impossible, especially on an astronomical scale. Sorry.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 23:02 (two months ago) link

Last Jedi and Empire Strikes Back are the only two better-than-okay Star Wars films

insecurity bear (sic), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 23:03 (two months ago) link

applying star trek nitpicker "THAT COULDN'T REALLY HAPPEN" logic to star wars is a recipe for endless comedy

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 23:05 (two months ago) link

just reverse the polarity etc

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 December 2019 23:05 (two months ago) link

the ships in star wars are actually boats

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 23:07 (two months ago) link

like the spaceships are boats and the planets are islands, that's all that's going on

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 23:07 (two months ago) link

god I need to do some work but I may have used up all my rope today

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 23:07 (two months ago) link

the only two better-than-okay Star Wars films

creature design and models and sound design in the first three are all fantastic obv

insecurity bear (sic), Tuesday, 10 December 2019 23:16 (two months ago) link

Honestly I find some of the production photography more evocative than what showed up on film. Like some of the photographs they used on the action figure cards? Them shits is badass.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:00 (two months ago) link

I used to be mildly obsessed with the Ree-Yees card photo. Dude freaked my shit out a little.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:03 (two months ago) link

just a guy with three penis eyes coming out of his forehead

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:03 (two months ago) link

James Carville?

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:04 (two months ago) link

I had a C3P0 toy as a kid before I ever saw any of the movies -- I think it was some deal where you mailed in cereal box tops and got the toy. It had removable arms and legs and a plastic netting to mimic the way Chewbacca carries him around when he's blasted apart in ESB

I was only vaguely aware of Star Wars but it was so cool. What's up with this robot guy? Why would someone be carrying him around, and what happened?

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:07 (two months ago) link

I had that C3PO too, and the plastic netting seems so much more "space-like" than the string bag in the actual movie

insecurity bear (sic), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:17 (two months ago) link

xps yeah watching the unspecialised version a while back i was really struck by how interesting and creative it was visually, if perhaps not in other ways. (i guess i was less struck by the sound because gl couldn't think of as many ways to ruin that for the special edition.)

lazy rascals, spending their substance, and more, in riotous living (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:21 (two months ago) link

I for one wasn't thrilled with Lucas dubbing over the work of Ben Burtt with the work of Michael Winslow but ymmv.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:44 (two months ago) link

i wish it were easier to see the non-specialized versions

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:58 (two months ago) link

just look inside your heart

I need to check, I think I salvaged the VHS tapes that were (crossing my fingers) the letterboxed version that I got around the rerelease time? They might be the late 90s edits which... ehh... could be worse

we did have the previous box as well that was pan-and-scan, which I'd love to watch again for nostalgic reasons. might even argue that it's my personal canonical version

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 01:01 (two months ago) link

Man, I don't want to belabor this point, Fred, but the "X is ruining Star Wars" and "movie Y is too much of a departure" takes go all the way back to 1980. I was there, I lived through this stuff. STARLOG was not just some randos, it was *the* publication for SF/Fantasy fans of the era, and the official line on ESB was very "meh."

But even in the non-fandom press, for example, Vincent Canby -- who LOVED Star Wars -- was very lukewarm (no Pun):

Confession: When I went to see "The Empire Strikes Back" I found myself glancing at my watch almost as often as I did when I was sitting through a truly terrible movie called "The Island."

The Empire Strikes Back" is not a truly terrible movie. It's a nice movie. It's not, by any means, as nice as "Star Wars." It's not as fresh and funny and surprising and witty, but it is nice and inoffensive and, in a way that no one associated with it need be ashamed of, it's also silly. Attending to it is a lot like reading the middle of a comic book. It is amusing in fitful patches but you're likely to find more beauty, suspense, discipline, craft and art when watching a New York harbor pilot bring the Queen Elizabeth 2 into her Hudson River berth, which is what "The Empire Strikes Back" most reminds me of. It's a big, expensive, time-consuming, essentially mechanical operation.

Gone from "The Empire Strikes Back" are those associations that so enchanted us in "Star Wars," reminders of everything from the Passion of Jesus and the stories of Beowulf and King Arthur to those of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, the Oz books, Buck Rogers and Peanuts. Strictly speaking, "The Empire Strikes Back" isn't even a complete narrative. It has no beginning or end, being simply another chapter in a serial that appears to be continuing not onward and upward but sideways. How, then, to review it?

The fact that I am here at this minute facing a reproachful typewriter and attempting to get a fix on "The Empire Strikes Back" is, perhaps, proof of something I've been suspecting for some time now. That is, that there is more nonsense being written, spoken and rumored about movies today than about any of the other so-called popular arts except rock music. The Force is with us, indeed, and a lot of it is hot air.

Ordinarily when one reviews a movie one attempts to tell a little something about the story. It's a measure of my mixed feelings about "The Empire Strikes Back" that I'm not at all sure that I understand the plot. That was actually one of the more charming conceits of "Star Wars," which began with a long, intensely complicated message about who was doing what to whom in the galactic confrontations we were about to witness and which, when we did see them, looked sort of like a game of neighborhood hide-and-seek at the Hayden Planetarium. One didn't worry about its politics. One only had to distinguish the good persons from the bad. This is pretty much the way one is supposed to feel about "The Empire Strikes Back," but one's impulse to know, to understand, cannot be arrested indefinitely without doing psychic damage or, worse, without risking boredom.

. . . I'm not as bothered by the film's lack of resolution as I am about my suspicion that I really don't care. After one has one's fill of the special effects and after one identifies the source of the facetious banter that passes for wit between Han Solo and Leia (it's straight out of B-picture comedies of the 30's), there isn't a great deal for the eye or the mind to focus on. Ford, as cheerfully nondescript as one could wish a comic strip hero to be, and Miss Fisher, as sexlessly pretty as the base of a porcelain lamp, become (is it rude to say?) tiresome. One finally looks around them, even through them, at the decor. If Miss Fisher does much more of this sort of thing, she's going to wind up with the Vera Hruba Ralston Lifetime Achievement Award.

The other performers are no better or worse, being similarly limited by the not-super material. Hamill may one day become a real movie star, an identifiable personality, but right now it's difficult to remember what he looks like. Even the appeal of those immensely popular robots, C-3PO and R2-D2, starts to run out.

In this context it's no wonder that Oz's contribution, the rubbery little Yoda with the pointy ears and his old-man's frieze of wispy hair, is the hit of the movie. But even he can be taken only in small doses, possibly because the lines of wisdom he must speak sound as if they should be sung to a tune by Jimmy Van Heusen.

I'm also puzzled by the praise that some of my colleagues have heaped on the work of Irvin Kershner, whom Lucas, who directed "Star Wars" and who is the executive producer of this one, hired to direct "The Empire Strikes Back." Perhaps my colleagues have information denied to those of us who have to judge the movie by what is on the screen. Did Kershner oversee the screenplay, too? Did he do the special effects? After working tirelessly with Miss Fisher to get those special nuances of utter blandness, did he edit the film? Who, exactly, did what in this movie? I cannot tell, and even a certain knowledge of Kershner's past work ("Eyes of Laura Mars," "The Return of a Man Called Horse," "Loving") gives me no hints about the extent of his contributions to this movie. "The Empire Strikes Back" is about as personal as a Christmas card from a bank.

And then he reviewed "Jedi":

"Return of the Jedi,'' written by Lawrence Kasdan and Mr. Lucas and directed by Richard Marquand, doesn't really end the trilogy as much as it brings it to a dead stop. The film, which opens today at Loews Astor Plaza and other theaters, is by far the dimmest adventure of the lot.

All of the members of the old ''Star Wars'' gang are back doing what they've done before, but this time with a certain evident boredom. They include Harrison Ford (Han Solo), Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia), Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker), the voice of James Earl Jones (the voice of Darth Vader) and Alec Guinness Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi, who died a picture or two back but won't get off the screen).

. . . The film's battle scenes might have been impressive but become tiresome because it's never certain who is zapping whom with those laser beams and neutron missiles. The narrative line is virtually nonexistent, and the running time, though only slightly more than two hours, seems longer than that of ''Parsifal.'' . . .

This is obviously just one critic, but these are not outliers -- this was pretty typical of critical and moviegoer reaction. Don't take my word for it, look it up!

I don't get wet because I am tall and thin and I am afraid of people (Eliza D.), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 01:09 (two months ago) link

Fred has never looked anything up in his life

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 01:13 (two months ago) link

i mean he's the smartest one on here, he doesn't have to

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 01:15 (two months ago) link

iirc he's closer to the arctic circle so you only have to tilt your head upwards slightly to see the very top

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 01:19 (two months ago) link

Canby otm in those quotes, fair play to the lad

insecurity bear (sic), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 02:42 (two months ago) link

Having just recently rewatched these with my super-fan 7-yr old son, I can confidently rank them as follows:

New Hope >> Empire Strikes Back >>> Return of the Jedi >>>>>> Force Awakens >> Attack of the Clones > Phantom Menace >>> Revenge of the Sith

Still need to see Last Jedi.

o. nate, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 02:50 (two months ago) link

xpost Tbf he might be right that the Empire has no plot.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 02:51 (two months ago) link

it has a series of b-plots! the a-plot is unresolved, in that it is rebels fleeing from one base to another and they end up back en route (and presumably uninterrupted) in the last scene

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 02:57 (two months ago) link

an arc replicated by Last Jedi, in its middle-of-trilogy position

insecurity bear (sic), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 03:19 (two months ago) link

Im always surprised so many people rank ROTJ (which is very exciting & fun imo) so far below ANH, a film which which features multiple discussions of moisture farming.

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 03:21 (two months ago) link

you need to rewatch that one, apparently!

I appreciate the princess code-switching more with age. Imperial senate affectations when bargaining about diplomatic evidence right into “aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” when getting down and dirty

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 03:26 (two months ago) link

finales are always kind of a letdown because after years and years of looking like the protagonists have no way to win, they abruptly find a way to win and the chase is over.

plus fuck an Ewok

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 03:27 (two months ago) link

No thanks

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 03:27 (two months ago) link

oh relax they got their shots

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 03:28 (two months ago) link

Yub nub

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 03:29 (two months ago) link

o. nate’s ranking largely OTM!

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 03:43 (two months ago) link

the rumors are... Wicket is back, baby!

I think it’s probably just Warwick Davis in another role but... EWOKS ARE IN

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 03:51 (two months ago) link

o. nate's ratings are pretty close to mine, maybe switch Empire and Star Wars. I like The Force Awakens a lot more than most of you. I'm a sucker for the fan service and I thought the new characters had great energy and chemistry. I also really don't enjoy TLJ. Outside of the Rey/Luke/Kylo stuff, it's pretty terrible. ROTJ is hammy, but the appearance of badass Luke at Jabba's palace was exactly what I wanted to see as a kid. I have a lot of unearned affection for AOTC. It's fairly bad, but has lots of cool visuals and set pieces, and from the gladiator scene to the end it's one inventive battle after another. ROTS is truly the pits, easily my least favorite overall.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 04:19 (two months ago) link

ESB >> ANH >> TLJ >> Rogue One >>> Force Awakens >>>>>>>>> Revenge of the Sith >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Attack of the Clones >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Caligula >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Phantom Menace

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 04:25 (two months ago) link

ROTS is truly the pits, easily my least favorite overall.

Yes! I feel so seen right now... LOL

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 04:28 (two months ago) link

just realized I left Return of the JEdi off completely. Uhhhh.....idk, below TFA and Sith?

who the fuck cares.

actually I am pretending I haven't seen it.

what is an Ewok

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 04:29 (two months ago) link

I'm not down on Jedi like some are. like ok the Ewoks suck but there is a fairly badass battle sequence in there. and the opening is...

wait, forgot, haven't seen it

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 04:29 (two months ago) link

I actually like TFA a lot myself... the first time seeing it, I came away mainly disappointed by all the slavish repetition of plot elements; but in my 2nd (and 3rd) viewings, I could appreciate it a lot more. I think it’s really “well-directed” movie, despite some flaws. The scene where Rylo confronts Han, as the other characters watch from the light streaming down behind them, is beautiful.

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 04:33 (two months ago) link

uh I guess the dude’s name is “Kylo,” lol

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 04:34 (two months ago) link

Rilo Kiley is the baddest bitch in SW

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 04:41 (two months ago) link

ROTJ has a bunch of good scenes, some even funny

The dumber Ewok content gets a balance with the entire “tell them you’re a god!” moment

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 05:25 (two months ago) link

canby in rare form there. 'as sexlessly pretty as the base of a porcelain lamp' indeed. just realised - is this what anthony lane keeps shooting for?

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 10:21 (two months ago) link

anthony lane keeps shooting for elastigirl iirc

a synthesis of Trotskyism and Ufology (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 10:31 (two months ago) link

maybe I just accepted everything bc I saw it as a kid, but tbh I never even really understood the Ewok hate. Like the main characters include yoda the magic elf and a giant talking dogman but ppl are like “no these ewoks are a step too far, do they think we’re idiots!?”

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 12:27 (two months ago) link

TBH, the Ewoks don't even factor into my general ROTJ disfavor. I just think it's pretty rickety overall, kind of a victim of sequel-itis. No one is going to take me at all seriously after I make this point (in the way that you all have previously) but the first two Police Academy movies are kinda fun and funny in a garbage-y sorta way and they have their own thing going on, and then the third is just this tired pile of bloat with recycled jokes from the earlier installments and half-drawn characters from the earlier installments (look, I'm not pretending it's high art) turning into full-blown caricatures who spout catchphrases instead of trading dialogue. That's what ROTJ feels like to me. Water treading.

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 12:39 (two months ago) link

the moment when ROTJ falls apart for me is when Luke and Vader just take a bit of a stroll and chat about the dark side, etc. Until that moment Vader had meant total danger, high alert, kill or be killed. It all dissipates.

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 12:43 (two months ago) link

My Dinner with Darth

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 12:55 (two months ago) link

That, but not the scene where he reaches out to Luke at the end of Empire?

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 14:06 (two months ago) link

Or when they tenderly hug after the space battle in ANH?

Masters of Engilsh Litera-ture (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 14:13 (two months ago) link

when he “reaches out” to Luke is probably the most blistering scene in the entire set of movies - Luke’s had his hand cut off, is rage-crying in shock and fear

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 14:16 (two months ago) link

i liked Star Wars a lot more before the internet.

(•̪●) (carne asada), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 14:17 (two months ago) link

The hippyish idea that being open to the darkside must mean being open to the light, that even this (amazingly well built-up) terrifying threat is open to change if approached correctly, is pretty crucial to the Trilogy imo - it's not a flaw.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 14:22 (two months ago) link

struggling to think of anything i didn't like a lot more before the internet tbh

Receive Your Simulated Fluids Before The End of The Year! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 14:23 (two months ago) link

Without the internet, I might never have known that unqualified enjoyment of anything is bad + wrong.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 14:30 (two months ago) link

this is why I'm not an old millenial -- I existed for quite a while before the internet but I didn't like any of it

reality is shit and cyberspace is god imo

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 15:00 (two months ago) link

Is that footage from the birth of BB8?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 15:07 (two months ago) link

it would not at all surprise you to know that I taped The Lawnmower Man off tv and rewatched it a number of times

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 15:07 (two months ago) link

Even as a stupid young teen I regretted spending my $4 or whatever on that matinee

(•̪●) (carne asada), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 16:05 (two months ago) link

I would hazard a guess that it's one of those movies that is helped by commercial breaks

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 16:06 (two months ago) link

well this bodes well

Poor The Last Jedi pic.twitter.com/wWcUxNzIio

— 🎅, fka ☕️ (@coopercooperco) December 11, 2019

(quotes from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/11/movies/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-jj-abrams.html)

Receive Your Simulated Fluids Before The End of The Year! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 16:45 (two months ago) link

tru

beyond that, it’s insane that none of these folks ever acknowledge that Abrams was the one who handed Johnson an ep 8 with every character scattered to the winds and a Luke Skywalker who had retired in shame and fled into hiding https://t.co/3O8bDXyQZr

— David Sims (@davidlsims) December 11, 2019

Receive Your Simulated Fluids Before The End of The Year! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 16:52 (two months ago) link

was thinking the other day that almost everything i dislike about the last jedi is a result of the corner kasdan/abrams wrote things into for force awakens

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 16:57 (two months ago) link

still glad snoke is dead

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 16:58 (two months ago) link

I guess I'm gonna have to rewatch these things before seeing the new ones. I can maybe remember a half dozen elements from each that I can distinguish as belonging to that specific movie but otherwise both sequels kinda blur into one another in my mind. I have no recollection of how the last one ended aside from that lightsaber duel. I mean, I just sat here for a minute trying to remember which one Mads was in before realizing it was neither. Guess I also gotta turn in my fan club badge now, huh.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:06 (two months ago) link

this all reinforces my longstanding sense that the RJ trilogy isn't really going to happen

Simon H., Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:16 (two months ago) link

Crazy idea, I know, but maybe they could try a few solo outings (not of the Han variety, natch) set in the SW universe to see if one in particular resonated with the public before going all-in on an entire trilogy.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:20 (two months ago) link

Why would you make a Rian Johnson trilogy, when you have Benioff and Wise ready to recreate that Game of Thrones magic?

Frederik B, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:21 (two months ago) link

I honestly don't know if that is still on...

Frederik B, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:22 (two months ago) link

Canned

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:22 (two months ago) link

That was 86d like, 3 months ago shortly after (and maybe a direct result of) the GOT dudes admitting they kind of conned their way into the GOT gig

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:23 (two months ago) link

Like I don't know how many times the studios need to burn their dicks off with the 'expansive years-long palette of films whose plots and characters are thoroughly unknown and untested' plan before they start to learn that they're putting the cart before the horse.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:23 (two months ago) link

we should do a poll of never-completed would-be blockbuster film franchises a la Golden Compass, Narnia, Maze Runner etc

Simon H., Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:27 (two months ago) link

this all reinforces my longstanding sense that the RJ trilogy isn't really going to happen


cosign

no way is disney pr gonna allow dissension in the ranks while still expecting to work with johnson again

Receive Your Simulated Fluids Before The End of The Year! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:28 (two months ago) link

That would be a good poll also add in that infernal machines movie thing that happened this year (?)

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:31 (two months ago) link

xxpost Didn't I see somewhere that somebody was picking up the Narnia mantle where it was left off? And cranking out another movie or two to a confused public before following Disney's lead and abandoning it all over again?

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:32 (two months ago) link

oh yeah that had budding franchise written all over it, see also Alita xp

Simon H., Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:32 (two months ago) link

Did Hobbit TV get axed too?

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:33 (two months ago) link

no, the Hobbit TV series went straight to theaters, cut as three "movies"

Simon H., Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:34 (two months ago) link

the maze runner is technically complete

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:34 (two months ago) link

they didn't include the prequel books but whom gives a shit

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:34 (two months ago) link

ah I thought some of it got shunted off to a TV series or something

Simon H., Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:36 (two months ago) link

(research montage) It does appear that Netflix is indeed continuing the Narnia adaptations, although whether for theaters or TV (or both) is unclear.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:37 (two months ago) link

oh yeah that had budding franchise written all over it, see also Alita xp

― Simon H., Wednesday, December 11, 2019 9:32 AM (eight minutes ago)

Alita did $400m worldwide and will get a sequel if I pray hard enough

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:40 (two months ago) link

Did Hobbit TV get axed too?

Nope, thriving. New casting news the other day, J. A. Bayona's arrived in Auckland, second season confirmed. Trust me, having a Tolkien podcast means you know these things.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:43 (two months ago) link

Cameron doesn't get involved in a project these days without securing half a dozen sequels from the outset. He's planning to alternate the upcoming Avatar installments with Titanic follow-ups iirc.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:44 (two months ago) link

we should do a poll of never-completed would-be blockbuster film franchises a la Golden Compass, Narnia, Maze Runner etc

― Simon H., Wednesday, December 11, 2019 10:27 AM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

the golden compass got rebooted as an hbo series

gbx, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:54 (two months ago) link

was thinking the other day that almost everything i dislike about the last jedi is a result of the corner kasdan/abrams wrote things into for force awakens

― american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, December 11, 2019 9:57 AM (fifty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

for example: maz kanata, who is nearly written out of the last jedi but we still had to see her in hologram form. really terrible character

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 17:54 (two months ago) link

Hm, reminds me that I haven't seen a mention of her at all for the new one.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 18:03 (two months ago) link

She kills a Jimmy Hoffaesque Jawa

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 18:04 (two months ago) link

ok rise of skywalker has one thing going for it xp

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 18:05 (two months ago) link

the golden compass got rebooted as an hbo series

I am aware. diff cast/crew years later doesn't count imo!

Simon H., Wednesday, 11 December 2019 18:05 (two months ago) link

Narnia failed to complete two separate times!

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 18:08 (two months ago) link

I have to give them credit for plugging forward instead of starting over each time.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 18:19 (two months ago) link

I liked Maz but some of that character's role could have been given to others

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 18:34 (two months ago) link

Narnia failed to complete two separate times!

and did complete two other times tbf

insecurity bear (sic), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 19:12 (two months ago) link

I remember watching the BBC Narnia production in late elementary school but can't remember how well it landed

a u.s. government department (mh), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 19:22 (two months ago) link

I loved it at the time

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 19:26 (two months ago) link

They tried to do Susan Cooper's Dark Is Rising, but only made one film, which I think was a complete flop? Probably for the best that it flopped, I can't imagine Hollywood ever capturing the tone of the books, which is very different from the "next Harry Potter" I presume they were aiming for.

Tuomas, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 19:45 (two months ago) link

I liked Maz too, her design reminded of Raz from Psychonauts, i.e. the best video game ever.

Tuomas, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 19:48 (two months ago) link

Hmm, Raz, Maz, I hadn't realised the resemblance of their names before... Maybe the similar design was intentional?

Tuomas, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 19:50 (two months ago) link

rooting for gleeson to be the secret backstabby hero in this.

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 19:55 (two months ago) link

Wait, all the way to the Last Battle?

(I agree with the view that there's an edge of "armed goon just out of sight" about some of the cast quotes)

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 19:59 (two months ago) link

I predict Maz shows up with Lando and it's implied they're doing it.

nashwan, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 21:53 (two months ago) link

i predict maz shows up with lando and it's graphically depicted that they're doing it.

Receive Your Simulated Fluids Before The End of The Year! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 22:02 (two months ago) link

On top of Poe's corpse

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 23:18 (two months ago) link

saw this gif and it made me feel hyped for lightsaber battles

STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI (2017)

Cinematography by @steveyedlin
Directed by @rianjohnson
Learn more about this movie from the director's commentary: https://t.co/v4HYoxSCfO pic.twitter.com/aiK6YLgZmR

— One Perfect Shot (@OnePerfectShot) December 11, 2019

mh, Wednesday, 11 December 2019 23:33 (two months ago) link

re: Maze Runner: you might be thinking of the Divergent series? that one def fizzled after 2 movies of the 3 (?) books

Doctor Casino, Thursday, 12 December 2019 00:23 (two months ago) link

The third movie did come out but only part 1 of 2

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 December 2019 00:28 (two months ago) link

doing some rewatching in the background here, and I’m once again wondering how accurately the subtitles reflect what was actually said when they translate non-Basic-speaking characters

In ROTJ, they *claim* Jabba says Han is now “bantha fodder” when he clearly says “bantha poodoo” which seems more like “bantha shit”

justice for non-basic speakers!

mh, Thursday, 12 December 2019 01:21 (two months ago) link

I reread the novelisations more than I saw the films and "bantha fodder" rings familiar tbh

insecurity bear (sic), Thursday, 12 December 2019 02:07 (two months ago) link

Bantha is about as much a warrior as Will Ferrell

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 December 2019 02:09 (two months ago) link

banthas seem like they should be herbivores, but who knows?

mh, Thursday, 12 December 2019 02:10 (two months ago) link

I encoded the SW films for my home server a few years ago and accidentally left off subtitles. They’re very understandable without, in that the intonation and a few soundalike words pop up in dialogue. Not a master class in alien language writing, but at some point someone made the wise decision that reading subtitles wasn’t necessary to get the plot.

mh, Thursday, 12 December 2019 02:13 (two months ago) link

But in Phantom Menace Jar-Jar steps in what is clearly supposed to be crap and calls it "poodoo!"

(How he knows Huttese is an open question)

I don't get wet because I am tall and thin and I am afraid of people (Eliza D.), Thursday, 12 December 2019 02:48 (two months ago) link

Could just be that it is basic slang and they’re fucking with us!

I am wondering, if there is an Emperor, ghost or otherwise, if he’s gonna pull out “my young apprentice(s)” in this new one

mh, Thursday, 12 December 2019 03:00 (two months ago) link

There’s a teaser clip that is SPOILERY out there now that you may want to avoid

let me just say,

SITH TEMPLE

mh, Thursday, 12 December 2019 22:13 (two months ago) link

is Kylo going to destroy the Sith texts with Darth Sidious's ghost?

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 December 2019 22:15 (two months ago) link

Baby Yoda is running it all from the sith temple

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 12 December 2019 22:41 (two months ago) link

the Force is just karate

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 December 2019 22:48 (two months ago) link

pretty sure that wasn’t the Emperor blowing up at the end of ROTJ. that was him going through a portal to SITH TEMPLE

mh, Friday, 13 December 2019 00:28 (two months ago) link

they should have palpy winning at the end and making rey his underling after giving kylo ren the old force lightning after he turns goody

#FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Friday, 13 December 2019 00:29 (two months ago) link

they won't obv

#FBPIRA (jim in vancouver), Friday, 13 December 2019 00:29 (two months ago) link

I would cackle with glee

mh, Friday, 13 December 2019 00:34 (two months ago) link

he gives Rey the title of Darth Skywalker to really rub it in

mh, Friday, 13 December 2019 00:34 (two months ago) link

Darth Icky

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 December 2019 00:40 (two months ago) link

Rian Johnson healthily seems to take this attitude even to rabid Star Wars fans, insisting that the hundreds of misspelled Last Jedi abuse replies on every tweet he makes about baseball games are a tiny proportion of the actual feedback he gets overall.

lol

Met @JRichardKelly in film school. He came in with his super 8 film & propped an anamorphic lens in front of the projector. HE SHOT HIS SUPER 8 FILMS ANAMORPHIC. I was like “son of a bitch!” Been friends ever since. He’s a great filmmaker who’s always played by his own rules. https://t.co/hgAYySmvoX

— Rian Johnson (@rianjohnson) December 13, 2019

Dear Rian Johnson,

Fuck you, you ruined Star Wars

— Sauce (@AndrewCsaucey) December 13, 2019

insecurity bear (sic), Friday, 13 December 2019 22:20 (two months ago) link

cool an account that was created only to yell at Rian Johnson, dude's got some good priorities???

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Friday, 13 December 2019 23:51 (two months ago) link

why post that swill here sic

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Friday, 13 December 2019 23:53 (two months ago) link

They call him sauce... cos he gives everyone gastritis

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Saturday, 14 December 2019 00:16 (two months ago) link

I found it hilarious how insanely petty it was, like what a fascinating little fact about the inventiveness of a director whose first feature showed a promising creative voice, offered up by someone who had a chance to marvel at that inventiveness even earlier. And what it says about Johnson that he takes the opportunity to share that admiration in a concise anecdote rather than just RT a plug and move on... just met by a mentality that can't comprehend generosity or creativity as concepts. Whose adoration (?) of Star Wars has not managed to impart any notions of the value of kindness and tolerance from the text, or of interest in or appreciation for clever solutions to filmmaking challenges, that combine vision with hands-on craft. Remembered my post from the other day, and thought how aptly this illustrated the ineffectual nature of those gnat-bite responses.

Then I clicked through on Mr Sauce's account after posting and regretted it tbh.

insecurity bear (sic), Saturday, 14 December 2019 00:23 (two months ago) link

lol fair nuff

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Saturday, 14 December 2019 00:29 (two months ago) link

If Star Wars was real, Sauce would be Hux's mixologist

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Saturday, 14 December 2019 00:30 (two months ago) link

Brick is the only other RJ movie I’ve seen (besides TLJ); the bonus disc is great, he was really inventive in making use of limited resources to get interesting shots, etc.

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Saturday, 14 December 2019 01:18 (two months ago) link

Lakers are def playing better than I thought they would be at this point. They’re doing it with good defense and relying heavily on their two stars, not sure how sustainable the latter is though.

(•̪●) (carne asada), Saturday, 14 December 2019 03:25 (two months ago) link

Lol ring thread

(•̪●) (carne asada), Saturday, 14 December 2019 03:39 (two months ago) link

rong thrid

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Saturday, 14 December 2019 03:49 (two months ago) link

Yes

(•̪●) (carne asada), Saturday, 14 December 2019 03:58 (two months ago) link

Lebron James is a Sith

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Saturday, 14 December 2019 03:59 (two months ago) link

laker data from the entire campus

El Tomboto, Saturday, 14 December 2019 04:05 (two months ago) link

Wasn’t even tryin to look at this thread! It’s certain to be miserable I fear.

(•̪●) (carne asada), Saturday, 14 December 2019 05:17 (two months ago) link

Then I clicked through on Mr Sauce's account after posting and regretted it tbh.

lol same but good to have my suspicions confirmed

nashwan, Saturday, 14 December 2019 09:54 (two months ago) link

Watched Last Jedi today and it was pretty good(!) So that's probably my favorite now outside of the original three.

o. nate, Sunday, 15 December 2019 02:18 (two months ago) link

I was in the right mood and the casino planet stuff was good! I didn’t pay enough attention to the myriad of bourgeois alien hijinks before.

mh, Sunday, 15 December 2019 05:56 (two months ago) link

Small weird thing but the critique of last Jedi being about “the friends aren’t together on an adventure” is some Care Bears level garbage of storytelling needs

— Peter Labuza (@labuzamovies) December 12, 2019

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 15 December 2019 15:53 (two months ago) link

How about the critique that multiple plot lines in this film are terrible?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 15 December 2019 15:56 (two months ago) link

a view many of us dont' share

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 December 2019 15:57 (two months ago) link

We can't all be right all the time.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 15 December 2019 16:00 (two months ago) link

i like pretty much all the plot lines and how they end in failure

american bradass (BradNelson), Sunday, 15 December 2019 16:02 (two months ago) link

maybe they win today, maybe you win tomorrow

mh, Sunday, 15 December 2019 16:05 (two months ago) link

Everything outside of the Rey/Kylo/Luke stuff just seems absurd and corny to me. I'm going to give this movie one more chance before seeing the new one, maybe I'll warm up to it.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 15 December 2019 16:08 (two months ago) link

The thing that bothers me the most about TLJ is the dumb vehicles - in a world full of all kinds of ships of all sizes capable of traveling at incredible speed and defying gravity, two major scenes were built around slow-ass bombers and those stupid skid machines that seemed to exist only for the red surface visuals.

I’ve also wondered for years why snow speeders have those harpoon guns on the back with a dedicated operator because wtf purpose could those possible serve other than suddenly being useful for tripping ATATs

joygoat, Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:09 (two months ago) link

the rebels are space whalers

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:10 (two months ago) link

How to Catch a Hutt

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:12 (two months ago) link

Some people call me a space whaler
Some call me a gangster of Hutt

joygoat, Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:14 (two months ago) link

The whole bomber intro was incredibly dumb for a variety of reasons, and it sets up most of the dumb stuff that follows.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:28 (two months ago) link

Including the slow-speed pursuit / “we’re running out of fuel” / “let’s sneak away to that nearby planet”

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:37 (two months ago) link

I also think the entire casino planet plotline (up to & including the confrontation with Phasma) is reeeeeally bad and should have been excised

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:40 (two months ago) link

Morrisp's cut of TLJ:

*opening crawl*

*camera pans down*

*smash cut to*

DIRECTED BY MORRISP

Ned Raggett, Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:46 (two months ago) link

Many xps, the harpoons are tow cables, for towing things. That does at least make a little more sense than the styluses hanging from the TLJ salt-speeders.

The casino planet could definitely been trimmed down. I liked Benicio though--sometimes I think I'm the only one who did. I just like my Galaxy full of dodgy weirdos, I guess.

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:51 (two months ago) link

Haha... when a movie runs 2.53 hrs, I reserve the right to mentally re-edit 😛

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Sunday, 15 December 2019 17:57 (two months ago) link

Xp I dont hate TLJ but Benicio was far & away my favorite part, I was very disappointed when he left the story

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Sunday, 15 December 2019 19:43 (two months ago) link

the casino part was really bad and felt like the prequels to me

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, 15 December 2019 19:49 (two months ago) link

I didn't like the casino and thought Benicio, with his ridiculous speech impediment, was bad not good

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 15 December 2019 20:03 (two months ago) link

the casino part was really bad and felt like the prequels to me


Definitely

circa1916, Sunday, 15 December 2019 21:38 (two months ago) link

I don't get the casino scene hate really.

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 December 2019 21:54 (two months ago) link

A lot of goofy CGI aliens mixed with some facile points about space capitalism and Finn's constant bumbling.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 15 December 2019 21:57 (two months ago) link

you went looking for subtlety in THIS franchise?

though actually, compared to how symbolism and political messages were handled when Lucas ran the show, the short capitalism bit wasn't really that over the top, comparatively speaking.

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 December 2019 22:02 (two months ago) link

like it was literally Rose's short "look closer" moment, Benicio's revelation of war profiteering (which also was perhaps a minute long).

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 December 2019 22:03 (two months ago) link

anyway, predictions...

*Palpatine's remains went into the Death Star II and exploded. Like Dr Manhattan and Voldemort, he began reconstructing his body after his death, and right now he's a head, an arm, and a leg, and a butt cheek. he is weak and he can only provide limited spiritual support and weak force trickery.

*Rey isn't actually the daughter of junk traders, she's the byproduct of human-force ghost breeding. Kenobi's lonely force ghost fucked a day trader on Jakku.

*Snoke is revealed to be Ethel Merman

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 December 2019 22:14 (two months ago) link

imo casino planet was fine and cool, it was the horse-riding wacky chase scene that made it lame. but the overall point of this plotline is great: finn, rose and poe all think the solution has to be to carry out some crazy underdog star-wars type scheme, and actually this was totally stupid and counterproductive and they all need to step up their ideas of what being a "rebel" is and why they're doing this whole thing (h/t to david sims who i think i'm cadging this from, mostly).

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 15 December 2019 22:20 (two months ago) link

yeah exactly, it was kind of the inversion of the typical Star Wars plot point, where the misfits are told not to do something that has a 1000-1 shot of working, they do it anyway and it turns out it was the right thing to do all along.

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Sunday, 15 December 2019 22:23 (two months ago) link

I appreciate that, but I feel the same point was made effectively in the “inpatient youth vs. calm older women” intra-Resistance conflict on the ship.

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Monday, 16 December 2019 01:30 (two months ago) link

*”impatient”

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Monday, 16 December 2019 01:31 (two months ago) link

that's how hotshot pilot poe learns the lesson, for finn it's this different thing, idk

Doctor Casino, Monday, 16 December 2019 02:39 (two months ago) link

yeah, Finn is defying orders (stupidly) right up until his lover crashes him out

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Monday, 16 December 2019 02:41 (two months ago) link

although ironically Finn is an inpatient youth at the start of the movie amirite

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Monday, 16 December 2019 02:42 (two months ago) link

lol

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Monday, 16 December 2019 02:44 (two months ago) link

LOLx2

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Monday, 16 December 2019 02:44 (two months ago) link

“Rise... Darth Skywalker”

end credits recapitulate title with THE RISE OF SKYWALKER then normal fanfare plays

mh, Monday, 16 December 2019 03:20 (two months ago) link

"to be continued with three more movies directed by Uwe Boll"

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Monday, 16 December 2019 03:25 (two months ago) link

btw if ppl wanna shit talk Star Wars 8 I just made this brand new thread: Star Wars 8 shit talk

insecurity bear (sic), Monday, 16 December 2019 06:00 (two months ago) link

Good call - let’s keep this thread silent and the lines open, in case anything happens in the next five days!

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Monday, 16 December 2019 06:39 (two months ago) link

I guess my understanding of the advanced physics that make possible the transportation technology of the Star Wars milieu is not sufficiently developed to enable me to make any confident statements about what is realistic or not. Could there be slow bombers? Maybe? Could there be some reason to drag a needle in red snow? I guess? My criteria basically boil down to: does it look cool? But I get that tastes differ.

o. nate, Monday, 16 December 2019 15:10 (two months ago) link

I get the impression that those bombers weren't meant to be flown in heavy crossfire and were meant to do Enola Gay-esque bomb dropping which is why Poe got screamed at afterward

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Monday, 16 December 2019 15:14 (two months ago) link

It'S NOT SNOW IT'S SALT

GAWD

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 16 December 2019 15:29 (two months ago) link

it's cocaine iirc

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 16 December 2019 15:30 (two months ago) link

roll it up in some death sticks

mh, Monday, 16 December 2019 16:44 (two months ago) link

I totally forgot the last one ended with Jedi street urchins or something. I wonder if this new one will feature an army of children to the rescue? It would certainly save on Ewok costumes.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 16 December 2019 16:46 (two months ago) link

It'S NOT SNOW IT'S SALT


I thought it was a little clunky when that rebel fighter pops a little bit of it in his mouth, looks directly in the camera and says “ITS NOT SNOW ITS SALT!”

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Monday, 16 December 2019 16:47 (two months ago) link

"It's not snow, it's poiso ... agggh!"

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 16 December 2019 16:48 (two months ago) link

"it's...bird shit"

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Monday, 16 December 2019 16:49 (two months ago) link

Abrams has anticipated the audience groaning when he introduces what appears to be yet another desert planet in the next installment until the 'sand' is revealed to be graham cracker crumbs.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Monday, 16 December 2019 16:51 (two months ago) link

Surprised there is no character named Guano.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 16 December 2019 16:51 (two months ago) link

Lol @ old lunch

Inapt Authority (morrisp), Monday, 16 December 2019 16:56 (two months ago) link

Missed my opportunity to make the now-obvious '(tastes sand) Sir...it's a dessert planet!' joke.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Monday, 16 December 2019 16:58 (two months ago) link

'...Raspberry!'

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 16 December 2019 17:11 (two months ago) link

My kids and I want a Spaceballs II so badly

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Monday, 16 December 2019 17:12 (two months ago) link

read some alleged spoilers for this and: lol

Simon H., Monday, 16 December 2019 17:34 (two months ago) link

No one believed me when I told them that the Skywalker referred to in the title was in fact Luke's new husband Kylo, bet you're all embarrassed now.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Monday, 16 December 2019 17:36 (two months ago) link

Rey is Darth Plagueis

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Monday, 16 December 2019 17:38 (two months ago) link

...is Count Dooku

Simon H., Monday, 16 December 2019 17:41 (two months ago) link

But who becomes Darth Chocula

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Monday, 16 December 2019 17:44 (two months ago) link

going to be wild when Kylo somehow pulls the exact same lightsaber trick a second time to take out Palpatine, followed by him saying "I'm Emperor now"

mh, Monday, 16 December 2019 19:18 (two months ago) link

Question for those that have seen spoilers: will there be The Force in this, y/n?

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 16 December 2019 20:05 (two months ago) link

yes, but also characters' midichlorian counts are displayed onscreen like the eventual deaths in The Irishman

Simon H., Monday, 16 December 2019 20:07 (two months ago) link

Lol, first reaction from colleague who was at press screening: It's like it's written by a Star Wars fan who had his childhood ruined by The Last Jedi.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 11:47 (two months ago) link

the spoilers floating around out there are distinctly unpromising

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 12:02 (two months ago) link

Kylo Ren opens the shower door and there stands Snoke in all his soapy glory.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 12:31 (two months ago) link

I'm awfully glad I didn't allow myself to get invested in these things. TFA marked the first time my entire family went to the theater together in probably 30 years (very nearly pulling it off again, minus one person, with TLJ and hopefully achieving the trifecta this year), and if that's all I get out of the new trilogy, it's enough.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 12:52 (two months ago) link

lol I think the last movie my entire family saw together in the theatre was ... Dr. Strange? (It was totally forgettable, iirc, and I suspect they harbor a quiet grudge for being dragged to something so unmemorable). Now even the movies we all see we see in waves and various combos. They have less than zero interest in the new Star Wars, or Star Wars in general, afaict. I don't think my wife even knows what a Wookie is. We have Disney+, and 2/3 of the big draws might as well be invisible to them.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:04 (two months ago) link

142 minutes

short!

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:07 (two months ago) link

These days, yeah, that might as well be a pre-feature cartoon.

I've got to say, as someone who grew up steeped in this shit (Star Wars 1 in the theatre 1978 or so may be my earliest memory), it's a relief to have a family with no fan-boy inclinations. My girls are getting older, but they still love Frozen, and yet, though they saw the new movie opening weekend, that, more or less, was it. I guess they listen to the songs sometimes. It's possible the Harry Potter films had a SW like impact on them, though.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:09 (two months ago) link

I was genuinely shocked that my sister (who has evinced precisely zero interest in SW ever) saw TLJ with us, and genuinely the opposite when she opted to sit out the follow-up.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:10 (two months ago) link

even the usually hyperbolic Twitter first reactions are tentative. normally I root for everything to be good but in this case a fiasco would be much more fun

Simon H., Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:10 (two months ago) link

I do like reading the Kathleen Kennedy cool-your-brakes stories, with Iger being all "full steam ahead!" and Kennedy being more cautious about the future of the franchise.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:11 (two months ago) link

it's completely baffling to me that disney's approach to making the mainline star wars movies seems to be a one-at-a-time thing with no clear idea of an overarching three-movie plot at the outset

although i guess having an actual licence to print money means you don't need to worry about this stuff much

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:16 (two months ago) link

I’ll be going with my wife on Saturday (my son’s still too young to see a movie like this cold, without me pre-screening it... though I felt a little cruel mentioning that mommy and I are going to see the new Star Wars movie, lol)

I'm off Twitter, and high on life! (morrisp), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:21 (two months ago) link

xpost I'm not that baffled. If the last several years of franchise moviemaking have taught us anything it's that very few people seem to have the ability to do it with any real alacrity. Everyone else just seems to be flying by the seat of their pants and hoping for the best.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:28 (two months ago) link

That’s how the first trilogy was made, yeah? Except with 3 years between films. Maybe they assumed lightning would strike twice.

I'm off Twitter, and high on life! (morrisp), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:31 (two months ago) link

yeah, you're right - just seems weird that you have marvel on one side of the disney operation organising a 23-film story with relatively few public hitches and over on the star wars side you've got regular eruptions of creative confusion

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:35 (two months ago) link

Even though he only directed the first, I gather that Lucas was still pretty heavily involved in the OG trilogy. As opposed to most franchises today which one assumes are largely shepherded by studio execs and marketing teams.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:36 (two months ago) link

SW needs a Feige.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:37 (two months ago) link

I really think The Force Awakens is better from feeling like it can stand on it's own, instead of feeling like it's just setting up a trilogy. But it really didn't set up a trilogy, lol. And yeah, with Solo being a setback for the standalone films, I'd quite honestly be more amused if this one 'failed' as well. (it's not going to fail, everyone is going to see it. I'll see it as well in the new year)

Frederik B, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:38 (two months ago) link

And yeah, as basically every other mega-franchise fails, it becomes more and more impressive/scary how Feige has been able to do it.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:39 (two months ago) link

xxxp Not marketing teams (they just market), but yeah. There’s no “creative” like Lucas or even Feige guiding the whole thing.

I'm off Twitter, and high on life! (morrisp), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:40 (two months ago) link

I might not even see the new one but tbh the whole thing seems like Disney and co reacting to the discourse and working based on that to try to please the fans - people complained that TFA was too familiar so TLJ veered contrary; people complained even harder about that so they (apparently) veered back hard towards the familiar.

Simon H., Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:40 (two months ago) link

Not marketing teams (they just market)

I think you underestimate their reach and power.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:45 (two months ago) link

it'd be interesting to know how much of the extremely online hate for the last jedi actually exists among regular moviegoers - presumably disney have reams of market research on that, and in terms of pure box office tfa made $2bn and tlj made a relatively paltry $1.3bn

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:46 (two months ago) link

I have to say I was also really baffled by Salo at first but I've come around to it. It's an uncompromising vision of life in the Empire. I'll be disappointed if Rise of Skywalker rows back from that. Maybe there's only room for one 'one for the dads' entry in the canon though?

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:48 (two months ago) link

xxp I worked at a studio for 15 yrs! They really don’t get involved in the filmmaking... they do generally choose the title, though.

I'm off Twitter, and high on life! (morrisp), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:49 (two months ago) link

At any rate, it's definitely a good thing if Disney is making $100 million movies based on the ever-shifting whims of the fans (or, rather, the most obnoxiously-vocal fans), that is absolutely the way to make big and expensive films.

Anyone who harbors genuine rancor for TLJ needs some genuine tragedy injected into their life, for serious.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:49 (two months ago) link

'an uncompromising vision of life in the Empire' is definitely one way to describe salo but i dunno if that's a conversation we should be having in the star wars thread

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:50 (two months ago) link

I have to say I was also really baffled by Salo at first but I've come around to it. It's an uncompromising vision of life in the Empire.

It's certainly a bracing depiction, but I still have trouble watching the Stormtroopers forcing naked Rebels to eat spoonfuls of feces. Maybe that's just me.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:52 (two months ago) link

Goddamn it, Scottish clone me. We really need to better coordinate our japery.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:52 (two months ago) link

MORE 👏 REDUNDANT 👏 POSTS 👏

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:55 (two months ago) link

You won't like what happens to redundant posters under the Empire

Simon H., Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:57 (two months ago) link

Apparently there's a lot of fan service. Not shocked but meh.

But i am going to watch this with 12 year old eyes.

I'm skipping Morbid Angel to see this so better be good!

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 13:58 (two months ago) link

I am sorry to the 12 year old whose eyes i stole tho

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:02 (two months ago) link

i'm glad you addressed it cuz i couldn't find a decent gif of james hong in blade runner saying 'i do eyes'

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:03 (two months ago) link

it's a relief to have a family with no fan-boy inclinations.

^ v much relate to this.

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:08 (two months ago) link

Actual unironic predictions, why the heck not:

Rey is Kylo's sister, separated from her family at birth for a reason which will strain the plot to near-breakage
Luke will appear as a Force ghost or at least a disembodied voice
The word "midichlorians" will be uttered in a throwaway line
There will be a fakeout where we think Palpy is gonna shoot lightning from his fingers but then doesn't, for some reason

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:43 (two months ago) link

It's all been a fantasy in Baby Yoda's head.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:45 (two months ago) link

It's all a bedtime story being told by an elderly Jar-Jar to his brood of younglings.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:46 (two months ago) link

I will assume Rey, like Anakin, is a Palpatine mind baby as the latter will reveal in this (possibly with flashbacks, possibly confirmed by FG Anakin himself)

nashwan, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:51 (two months ago) link

Luke will appear as a Force ghost or at least a disembodied voice

I think this is guaranteed! I predict a few other Force ghosts will appear, as well...

I'm off Twitter, and high on life! (morrisp), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:52 (two months ago) link

(xpost)

I'm off Twitter, and high on life! (morrisp), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:53 (two months ago) link

I can’t think of any way to make Rey fit into the larger storyline that doesn’t feel terribly, well, “Forced”

I'm off Twitter, and high on life! (morrisp), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 14:55 (two months ago) link

rey is a time-travelling, shape-shifting watto

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:04 (two months ago) link

I demand Yoda do his giggling while kicking his legs move again

mh, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:05 (two months ago) link

the raves are rolling in

Tweeting through tears - #TheRiseofSkywalker isn’t the best Star Wars film, but it is the ULTIMATE Star Wars film. A truly stunning finale to a nine film saga. Only weird thing was the amount of screen time spent on characters wolfing down raw vidalia onions. I ADORED this movie.

— ben mekler (@benmekler) December 17, 2019

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:26 (two months ago) link

Okay, seriously, you need to give some sort of warning before posting things like that so my coworkers don't think I'm having some sort of fit.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:30 (two months ago) link

avengers endgame vibes from that tweet

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:44 (two months ago) link

I dunno, I don't feel like the consumption of Vidalia onions was quite as front-and-center in Endgame. I'm glad to see Abrams is apparently willing to go all-in on that front.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:48 (two months ago) link

lol at that guy's Cats tweet being quoted so many places

nashwan, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:49 (two months ago) link

oh lmao my brain sure skipped over the raw vidalia onions

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:52 (two months ago) link

pic.twitter.com/Nyxq2ktufB

— ben mekler (@benmekler) December 17, 2019

groovypanda, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:54 (two months ago) link

lol

Frederik B, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:57 (two months ago) link

Thanks to red carpet coverage on Twitter I learned that Kathleen Kennedy has a twin sister, Connie, who works in visual effects production, including on a bunch of Disney and Marvel stuff.

https://i0.wp.com/dapsmagic.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/H120917A-2321.jpg?resize=800%2C533&ssl=1

I've never been happier about the media paying scant attention to the things they feverishly publish.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:58 (two months ago) link

xpost

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 15:59 (two months ago) link

glad at least one person out there is using their blue check for good

ciderpress, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 16:12 (two months ago) link

The (actually pretty dark) RedLetter take down of the hype cites about a half dozen, maybe more, publications that used a verbatim headline about the movie breaking box office records before it's even opened.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 16:17 (two months ago) link

I'm skipping my screening tonight because why not

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 16:24 (two months ago) link

did you leave your onions at home? poor form imo

Simon H., Tuesday, 17 December 2019 16:27 (two months ago) link

is... is that a glass of onion juice

WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 16:30 (two months ago) link

the featured Star Wars-themed cocktail at my drafthouse-style theater, no doubt

mh, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 16:31 (two months ago) link

which we drink while dancing to Larry Levan's remix of "Lapti Nek"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrOSuY12Rrs

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 16:38 (two months ago) link

That or this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfUxy7PdHxY

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 16:40 (two months ago) link

is that a glass of onion juice

― WHEEL! OF! FORESKIN! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, December 17, 2019 4:30 PM (thirty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

doo dah! doo dah!

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 17:04 (two months ago) link

A rebus 4 u all

― Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, December 17, 2019 3:07 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Don't know what you're getting at here but Rebus was a Human male Imperial Moff at the start of the Galactic Civil War. He was a noted weapons designer and created the prototype weapons for the Empire's dark trooper battle droids. He chose the sewage systems of Anoat as his hideout and installed a sophisticated series of defenses to prevent intruders from reaching his lab. However, while investigating the Dark Trooper Project for the Alliance to Restore the Republic, the mercenary Kyle Katarn was able to infiltrate Rebus's base and capture the Moff. During his interrogation, Rebus revealed information that helped Katarn track down the source of the dark troopers and eliminate them.

Rebus gained a reputation as a weapons designer during the years leading up to the Battle of Yavin and, by 0 ABY, held the rank of Moff in the Galactic Empire. Around that time he operated out of a hidden stronghold, deep within the subterranean sewage system under Anoat City,[1] the long-abandoned sole settlement on Anoat in the Anoat sector.[2]

The sewage system itself was mammoth and extremely confusing to navigate, all the while being virtually pitch black, making the use of a head lamp or infrared goggles imperative. Rebus made sure that even the smartest of trespassers were prevented from finding the route to his lab through the largely unexplored array of durasteel sewage tunnels by engineering a complicated series of drain gate switches. While the dianogas that infested the sewers provided a natural defense against intruders, Rebus also surrounded himself with Viper probe droids, IT-O Interrogator droids, and remote droids, ready to attack any trespassers in various areas within the sewer complex. Several Gran thugs, armed with thermal detonators, were also employed to provide further protection.[1]

Around the time of the Battle of Yavin, Rebus designed the prototype weapons for the Empire's dark troopers, a series of advanced battle droids developed under General Rom Mohc. The dark trooper weapons, which bore the initials M.R. on the barrel as his signature, were tested on Fest in the Atrivis sector, and Rebus was pleased with the results. The weapons were used to devastating effect by dark troopers during the Imperial attack on the Alliance to Restore the Republic's base on Talay. Tak Base was destroyed within minutes and many innocent inhabitants of Talay were killed along with the Rebels. In the aftermath of the attack, Rebel agent Kyle Katarn traveled to Talay to investigate and discovered a prototype dark trooper weapon. When Katarn's partner, Rebel agent Jan Ors, discovered Rebus's signature on the device, it led the pair to Anoat in search of the Moff.[1]

Katarn proceeded into the sewer system and was able to successfully activate the drain gate switches and navigate to the Moff's lab. He found Rebus in his hideout, simply sitting in a brown chair holding a large weapon. Rebus put up no resistance whatsoever, and was captured and subsequently questioned on the Dark Trooper Project. Though he was uncooperative during questioning, providing the Rebels with little useful information, Rebus mentioned the results of the tests on Fest during one of his rants. The existence of an Imperial Weapons Research Facility on Fest was soon confirmed by the Rebel spy Crix Madine, and Katarn proceeded to Fest to search for clues. He recovered a sample of phrik from Fest, which was used in the construction of dark troopers and helped him to track down their source. Katarn eventually eliminated Mohc and put an end to the dark troopers.[1]

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 17:09 (two months ago) link

OMG

Human absurdity, thy name is Wookieepedia.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 17:16 (two months ago) link

(BTW the solution to my non-Moff Rebus rebus: Poe, Rey, C-3PO, Teebo. Sing it out loud.)

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 17:17 (two months ago) link

Wow fantastic gibberish star wars-ese rap in that Meco Ewok song, shoutout to "two way pock-a-way Obi Wan Kenobi"

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 17:29 (two months ago) link

xp: lol, thanks for the hint.

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 17:32 (two months ago) link

that sewer level was a bitch.

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 17:48 (two months ago) link

I hear after the credits, Comic Book Guy comes out and says "Worst Episode ever", then Finn shoots him

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 17:48 (two months ago) link

Lapti Nek do do do do do do

I would guess rapping about Obi Wan is problematic cos too many would rhyme "Kenobi" with "blow me"

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 17:55 (two months ago) link

Gonna see this tomorrow afternoon because free time but am pretty indifferent. Hope the sound design is still on point at the very least.

SQUIRREL MEAT!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 18:21 (two months ago) link

The Last Jedi's the best I've the new ones I've seen, and if the casino planet were cut I'd even say it's a Good Movie.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 18:34 (two months ago) link

I would guess rapping about Obi Wan is problematic cos too many would rhyme "Kenobi" with "blow me"

real name, no gimmicks

insecurity bear (sic), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 19:29 (two months ago) link

I thought the casino planet part was good. I enjoyed that the landscape was modeled on Monte Carlo. The only part that didn’t completely work was having the characters ride on those CGI beasts. Technology has advanced and it didn’t look as silly as Kenobi riding on the big lizard in Revenge of the Sith but it still looked a little silly.

o. nate, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 21:29 (two months ago) link

don't worry they ride horse looking things in the new one for some god damned reason

officer sonny bonds, lytton pd (mayor jingleberries), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 21:43 (two months ago) link

i dont love the casino part but tbh i dont think ppl would be talking about it today without the cgi beast riding

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 21:44 (two months ago) link

I'm on record as loving the diminutive drunk guy who thinks BB-8 is a slot machine

mh, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 21:47 (two months ago) link

After Dexter Jettster, no creature in the SW universe has ever approached that level of awful again

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 21:55 (two months ago) link

having enjoyed Star Wars and Return Of The Jedi as a child I can only endorse a scene in a star war where the heroes go to some kind of bar/party environment filled with amusing-looking alien monsters

slot machine dude is lols and takes up about 4 seconds of movie

insecurity bear (sic), Tuesday, 17 December 2019 21:56 (two months ago) link

he was apparently voiced by Mark Hammill, lol

mh, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 21:59 (two months ago) link

I was looking forward to the 'bar/party environment filled with amusing-looking monsters' more than anything going into TLJ (probably TFA also) and just had expectations too high.

If you haven't seen the deleted scenes from the ownable release there's an awful/funny/both bit during the Fathier chase with a pink cyclops in a bath house...wow these sure are some words I have just typed.

But also a good music montage showing more of the freaky looking characters in the casino just wandering around (not part of the film just from dailies I guess).

nashwan, Tuesday, 17 December 2019 22:50 (two months ago) link

Yikes.1,5 stars. 'The Rise of Skywalker is what happens when a franchise gives up': https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/12/18/21021188/star-wars-rise-of-skywalker-review-no-spoilers

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 10:56 (two months ago) link

the Slant review is very similar, though it's one of those bad reviews that makes the movie sound inadvertently interesting

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 11:20 (two months ago) link

Yeah, I'm honestly beginning to think I might like this one the most of the new films, lol. But it sounds like it's going to be a disaster on a franchise-level.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 11:28 (two months ago) link

for the record, the two things on Kathleen Kennedy's slate with a date attached are Untitled Indiana Jones Project (2021) and Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2 (2022)

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 12:41 (two months ago) link

on the plus side maybe we'll all be dead by then

nashwan, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 12:42 (two months ago) link

Is this what audiences demand from franchise movies? Films that cater to what’s comfortable and capitulates to the most unimaginative fans?

Tbf, they're talking about the 9th film in the series packed with familiar characters and places. This rhetorical question has an answer.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:19 (two months ago) link

Some of the pull quotes in metacritic seem to sum it up pretty well.

"Rise of the Skywalker isn’t an ending, a sequel, a reboot, or a remix. It’s a zombie."

"The more accurate way to describe it, I think, is as an epic failure of nerve."

"The Rise of Skywalker — Episode IX, in case you’ve lost count — is one of the best. Also one of the worst. Perfectly middling. It all amounts to the same thing."

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:24 (two months ago) link

I like the Time Out NY take on Abrams as droid, sent in to dutifully and without emotion tidy things up.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:26 (two months ago) link

Droids' lack of lack of emotion has been generally a good thing about Star Wars!

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:50 (two months ago) link

give David Fincher the next trilogy imo

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:50 (two months ago) link

A trilogy about a serial killer whose crimes follow a curious pattern: he only murders death stars.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:53 (two months ago) link

It's perhaps instructive to look over the Walt Disney Pictures slate from the past several years to get a clear sense of where the corporation's priorities lie these days.

Domestically-released original films and properties newly-adapted by Disney, 2016-present:

The Finest Hours
Zootopia
The BFG
Queen of Katwe
Moana
Coco
A Wrinkle in Time
The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

Sequels/remakes/sequels of remakes of previous Disney films:

The Jungle Book
Alice Through the Looking Glass
Finding Dory
Pete's Dragon
Beauty and the Beast
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Cars 3
Incredibles 2
Christopher Robin
Ralph Breaks the Internet
Mary Poppins Returns
Dumbo
Aladdin
Toy Story 4
The Lion King
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil
Frozen II

They seem to be trending in a particular direction but I can't quite put a name to it...

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:56 (two months ago) link

Like I would not be the slightest bit surprised if they announced that the next SW project is a remake of the OG trilogy.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 13:56 (two months ago) link

I don't yet think they're that stupid, but they would clearly love to do it.

But this is beginning to feel like a Justice League sized debacle.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:02 (two months ago) link

This clearly can't be what they hoped would happen when they paid 4 billion for the franchise.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:03 (two months ago) link

I wouldn't have thought they'd spend half a decade dragging their vaunted animated classics through the uncanny valley, either, but here we are.

I'm reserving judgment until I see the thing, but if the impression left by the blurbs is sound, I'd argue that pandering directly to one aging and increasingly-conservative segment of the audience isn't really the best growth strategy. Like I can't imagine the kids of today are going to harbor much real affection for this trilogy. Because it's only sorta incidentally for them.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:11 (two months ago) link

this ended up being one of ILE's more prophetic thread titles huh

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:17 (two months ago) link

xp I don't know about that - Rey / Finn / Kylo / Poe are pretty popular.

The bit where they stop making the new Trilogy and launch off into "maybe our filler films have hit gold-dirt" was always going to be a little risky, and I'd be amazed if anyone high-up said "No, this will definitely work, the 'Star Wars Stories will have eclipsed the number films by then".

This clearly can't be what they hoped would happen when they paid 4 billion for the franchise.

Dude, it's Star Wars - they weren't paying purely to make money off the films (also they have already made a lot of money off the films)

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:18 (two months ago) link

xp stopped clock

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:18 (two months ago) link

I know that, Andrew, clearly they are making money off of this. But they're Disney! They're making so much money off of remaking everything they already own, so why would they spend 4 billion on a franchise that might just be as good a moneymaker as the stuff they already have! They needed this to work on a whole other level. They paid almost as much for Star Wars as they did for Marvel, and with Marvel they make three billion making films a year, without annoying too many people, other than Scorsese fans.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:21 (two months ago) link

I haven't seen any reviews mention the Keri Russell role so I guess the one aspect I was kinda curious about must be a teensy one

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:23 (two months ago) link

maybe Star Wars was a mistake, guys

icy bike chain rain (zchyrs), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:25 (two months ago) link

Box office isn't really Disney's sole concern though. I bet the SW theme park thing pays off (also: toys). Plus the Mandalorian is the only thing I've heard anyone talk about re: Disney+; hard to quantify that sort of thing, but I doubt they're in despair over there. That said, maybe they'll retreat back into the Lucasfilm approach and just make cheaper, ancillary non-movies

rob, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:30 (two months ago) link

Disney is lucky as hell that Marvel already had Feige at the movie helm when they bought the company. In a Feige-less world, their Marvel movies would have been plenty successful, I'm sure, but nowhere near as successful as they have been. Unfortunately, SW did not and does not have a similarly steady hand at the wheel so the franchise is kinda beholden to the whims of focus groups and dudes in suits.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:37 (two months ago) link

rob otm

I mean, what's the damage here - do you reckon that in another universe they'd have a Star Wars X due out in 2021?

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:44 (two months ago) link

they'll wait an extra 2-3 years to roll out another trilogy. maybe.

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:44 (two months ago) link

removing bookmark, see y'all late friday

mh, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:45 (two months ago) link

I think it was always a stupid gamble. But in a better world, they'd have a Solo trilogy going, a succesfull trilogy from Abrams, Johnson and Trevorrow, with probably both Abrams and Johnson being told to build on that succes in their own little corners of the galaxy. And then some sort of big big story on the horizon, where Poe and Finn and Rey were going to team up again.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:47 (two months ago) link

No that's wrong, that's a far worse world, sorry.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:47 (two months ago) link

Seeing this tomorrow afternoon - will try to hold off spoilers until the weekend tho

nashwan, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:52 (two months ago) link

We should go ahead and start a separate thread for spoilers and postmortem shit talk

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:54 (two months ago) link

it is probably true that without the history of star wars as a "trilogy" series, and the living legacy actors to further reinforce that sense of history, they PROBABLY would have come out the gate with more of an MCU-type structure in mind, and maybe the payoffs would have been bigger. but they didn't and so now IX is freighted with having to be the biggest super-payoff ever, which always seemed unlikely to deliver since they took Johnson off of it.

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:54 (two months ago) link

star wars 9 spoilers and postmortem shit talk

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 14:55 (two months ago) link

good idea:

In the four years since the sequel trilogy began, I don't think I've read a single article focused on how the new films are being recieved by children.

— Osita Nwanevu (@OsitaNwanevu) December 18, 2019

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:00 (two months ago) link

I kinda wrote one back in 2016, lol

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:01 (two months ago) link

Wow, I'd completely forgotten that article. I wrote that the antagonists were too young, and that the films therefore wouldn't be as alluring for children. Then I wrote a political allegory where The First Order was ISIS and the Resistance was Blackwater.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:06 (two months ago) link

K. Harris:

Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi (which, like all pop culture anyone notices these days, was both overrated and over-hated) floated the heretical notion that the past could be left behind. What if a hero could rise who was free of the familial psychodrama of the Lucas era, a true nobody (yes, one with immense mystical powers, but stay with me here) who could make her own way in the galaxy? What stories could be told if Star Wars finally said to hell with Joseph Campbell and this damn quasi-aristocratic cadre of genetically blessed superhumans trapped in their never-ending cycle of betrayal and redemption?

We’ll never know. Abrams backtracks shamelessly (imagine if we’d learned in Return of the Jedi that Darth Vader had lied and wasn’t really Luke’s father) and reasserts that there is but one Star Wars story. By resurrecting Palpatine, the movie acknowledges that the past is a source of elemental evil, but primarily as a means for us to discover that tradition can bestow wonderfully redemptive powers as well. The system works.

What The Rise of Skywalker really celebrates is itself, as well as Abrams’ completion of his difficult mission in a way that will satisfy true Star Wars believers and his bosses. When the film closes with Rey choosing to name herself after the heroes who preceded her, the film’s capitulation to Star Wars tradition feels so craven yet smug that I’m surprised Abrams didn’t list himself in the credits as J.J. Lucas.

http://citypages.com/movies/well-star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-is-one-way-to-end-this-mess/566298061

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:13 (two months ago) link

they PROBABLY would have come out the gate with more of an MCU-type structure

thank Obi-Wan for small mercies

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:14 (two months ago) link

oh so we have spoilers here now anyway

nashwan, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:17 (two months ago) link

"grim resignation" is in the thread title but i didn't imagine it'd describe the end of the movie

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:20 (two months ago) link

yeah thx Alfred, not paying to see this now.

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:23 (two months ago) link

Mission accomplished *Palpatine cackle*

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:36 (two months ago) link

c'monnn alfred, man, i'm deliberately not bookmarking the spoilers thread

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:42 (two months ago) link

imagine if we’d learned in Return of the Jedi that Darth Vader had lied and wasn’t really Luke’s father

Talk about spoilers!

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:47 (two months ago) link

c'monnn alfred, man, i'm deliberately not bookmarking the spoilers thread

― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, December 18, 2019

I genuinely didn't see the other thread! Also, I genuinely underestimated people's aversion to spoilers; they've never stopped me from seeing or not seeing anything.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 15:53 (two months ago) link

^ either uncharacteristically myopic or willfully, puckishly perverse, not sure which. People avoiding SW spoilers, you say? Why, I had no idea!

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:07 (two months ago) link

that's a lot of adverbs for me to scan without my contacts!

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:09 (two months ago) link

Alfred nudging his friend with a 'watch this' twinkle in his eye as he walks out of an ESB screening and past a throng of people eagerly waiting to see what exciting revelations this new chapter will hold.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:10 (two months ago) link

SW film goes reactionary w/ f*n s*rvice, film at 11 (god what a hideous term)

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:17 (two months ago) link

more like "Sotosyn stumbling out of The Two Popes wondering what cantrips he can cast that will make the Adriatic and Mediterranean rise just enough to destroy Vatican City."

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:18 (two months ago) link

ROTJ already kind of did a complete backtrack from the scope and darkness of Empire Strikes Back so in a way this is rhyming, it’s true poetry.

omar little, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:26 (two months ago) link

In this movie, the Emperor shoots electricity out his butt

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:32 (two months ago) link

LOL @ posting spoilers immediately after like six posts from people about avoiding spoilers, what a thread

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:37 (two months ago) link

Zombie Samuel L. shows up to give Palpatine a force bolt facelift, undoing all that unsightly prunefacery he caused back in the day, perhaps giving him back those creepy old chimp eyes while he's at it.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:37 (two months ago) link

Xpost mine most def isn't...i hope

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:37 (two months ago) link

A New Pope

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 16:38 (two months ago) link

you’ve been talking about movies on the internet for like 15 years now, come on

anyway I’m sure I’ll forget that once I actually get around to seeing this

k3vin k., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:37 (two months ago) link

I...liked this! Ridiculous, overstuffed, fan-servicey and epic at the best of times ( Abrams grew a sense of scale that extends beyond a couple of shots!). Right now it's my fave of the new 3.

SQUIRREL MEAT!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:42 (two months ago) link

Jar Jar appear?

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 17:53 (two months ago) link

Sadly for you...no.

SQUIRREL MEAT!! (Capitaine Jay Vee), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:04 (two months ago) link

100% That Binks

nashwan, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:08 (two months ago) link

Lol

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:09 (two months ago) link

Everybody getting all crestfallen about the absence of Jar Jar can take heart that there's still plenty of Boss Nass in this film, including an entire dance sequence set to the B-Boys' 'Sure Shot' (as is the Abrams way).

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:11 (two months ago) link

I know it's evoked on occasion, but it still needs to be explicitly pointed out now and again: this movie was directed by someone who put a Beastie Boys song in each of the Star Trek movies he directed. That actually happened.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:13 (two months ago) link

SW film goes reactionary w/ f*n s*rvice, film at 11 (god what a hideous term)

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, December 18, 2019 8:17 AM (two hours ago)

Morbs it'll fascinate you to (perhaps) learn that "fan service" didn't originally mean "stuff fans want" it specifically meant "pointless T&A in anime"

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:41 (two months ago) link

i don't recognize that distinction

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:46 (two months ago) link

tomato tomato

american bradass (BradNelson), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 18:46 (two months ago) link

^ crude-yet-effective description of fanservice

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:20 (two months ago) link

I thought it meant "Jake Gyllenhaal, meet me for an Old-Fashioned."

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:22 (two months ago) link

I guess at the end of the day fanservice comes down to how you like your tomatoes.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 19:57 (two months ago) link

an old fashioned what, one may wonder

mh, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 20:07 (two months ago) link

Call me old fashioned, but there's nothing I relish like a hot tomata'!

(This has been the 'star wars 9 grim resignation' thread, only on ILX.)

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 20:28 (two months ago) link

Do plenty people go for Tomata?

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 20:41 (two months ago) link

What is this diarrhea

100 Percent That Grinch (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 20:50 (two months ago) link

-Peter Travers

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 20:53 (two months ago) link

You know your Star War has gone south when you've lost Rolling Stone.

Children Devouring Their Cronuts (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 December 2019 20:54 (two months ago) link

#CATSMovie first reactions call it "way too horny" and "bewildering"https://t.co/PLEU1IRoWR pic.twitter.com/zgjmIrFo8w

— MirrorMovies (@MirrorMovies) December 17, 2019



I wish this was about star wars

Simon H., Wednesday, 18 December 2019 21:05 (two months ago) link

"Five stars, purrrfect."

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 18 December 2019 21:10 (two months ago) link

Can a movie be too horny?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 December 2019 00:09 (two months ago) link

can a movie about cats with human tits be too horny

insecurity bear (sic), Thursday, 19 December 2019 00:14 (two months ago) link

I don't think so

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 December 2019 00:16 (two months ago) link

if you touch me
You'll understand
What happiness is

Bublé in the changer, I was I was dead (Neanderthal), Thursday, 19 December 2019 00:16 (two months ago) link

First leaked scene from Cats:

https://media.giphy.com/media/11sYjstB0hOL04/giphy.gif

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 19 December 2019 01:00 (two months ago) link

Does Jason DeRulo sing his character's name over and over

Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Thursday, 19 December 2019 01:11 (two months ago) link

Ok so... it's Abrams. But...based on some of the press I was pleasantly surprised.

I mean...I cannot stan for this the way I did TLJ. It has a solid first half but gets really messy in the second. He stuffs too much in there and some of it doesn't land.

But...it hit enough right notes for me that I enjoyed it. Definitely a dumber SW movie than the one before but hey the OG trilogy was often p dumb too.

I did like some of the new mythos

Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Friday, 20 December 2019 05:45 (two months ago) link

I thought it was dire.

Would rank it with Episodes I to III

groovypanda, Friday, 20 December 2019 18:38 (two months ago) link

Reading this recap by the NY Times of how their film critics rated each of the Star Wars episodes from 1-9, I was bowled over to read how much A.O. Scott loved "Revenge of the Sith":

"...by far the best film in the more recent trilogy, and also the best of the four episodes Mr. Lucas has directed."

"The sheer beauty, energy and visual coherence of 'Revenge of the Sith' is nothing short of breathtaking.."

And this after he panned "Attack of the Clones"!

o. nate, Saturday, 21 December 2019 01:39 (two months ago) link

As noted somewhere upthread, I've only seen the prequels once in the theater, but my perception at the time was that each improved slightly upon the one before. I am somewhat curious to see how they'd fare a second time around.

i was so hungry that i ate a hole cake entirely to myself (Old Lunch), Saturday, 21 December 2019 01:57 (two months ago) link

that's my recollection too but I also saw them out of order; I skipped Attack of the Clones completely and though Sith was a step up from Phantom Menace. I saw Clones several years later and liked about half of it and found the other half dreadfully boring. But not as cringe inducing as Phantom.

akm, Saturday, 21 December 2019 02:28 (two months ago) link

my memory is that the most cringe-inducing bits got worse in 2 and then 3 but on average the films improved

ciderpress, Saturday, 21 December 2019 02:34 (two months ago) link

I actually like RotS. But can't ride for the two prior

Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Saturday, 21 December 2019 03:26 (two months ago) link

It's better if you imagine both Anakin and Padme were being puppeteered by Palpatine and that's why they seemed like zombies

Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Saturday, 21 December 2019 03:28 (two months ago) link

Spoiler alert: this movie was rad.

Nobody uses the phone anymore (morrisp), Sunday, 22 December 2019 04:56 (two months ago) link

The Wayfinder is cool i want one also apparently girl at end that Lando talks to apparently long lost daughter as hinted in some of the comics that's good i thought he was just trying to fuck her

Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Sunday, 22 December 2019 05:00 (two months ago) link

Haha, that’s interesting to know... my wife thought there was gonna be a gag where he goes (after a beat) “...What’s your mama’s name?”

Nobody uses the phone anymore (morrisp), Sunday, 22 December 2019 05:07 (two months ago) link

guys this is not the spoiler thread

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 22 December 2019 05:10 (two months ago) link

Fuuuuuck sorry about that

Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Sunday, 22 December 2019 05:27 (two months ago) link

After drinking a bit I guess I saw morrisp's post that said spoiler and conflated that with the thread title.

MODS CAN U DELETE

Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Sunday, 22 December 2019 05:27 (two months ago) link

Yeah sorry, was following N’s lead there, lol (guess that’s no excuse)

Nobody uses the phone anymore (morrisp), Sunday, 22 December 2019 05:33 (two months ago) link

Nobody should ever follow my lead!

Bublé in the changer, I wish I was dead (Neanderthal), Sunday, 22 December 2019 05:34 (two months ago) link

this is the first take I've seen that makes me want to pirate it

Rise of Skywalker is the perfect culmination of the Star Wars series. An accidental masterpiece on the impossibility of art under late capitalism. Five Bags of Popcorn and ten Babu Fricks.

— Morton Downey III (@cushbomb) December 22, 2019

Simon H., Sunday, 22 December 2019 05:45 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

oh thank god disney have seen sense because the main issues with this film were definitely that a) it was not long enough and b) there should have been even more callbacks to the previous movies

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:38 (one month ago) link

Love to see a corporate entity with more money than god whose guiding principle is 'fortune favors the...em, er...well, let's not make any hasty declarations on that front until after we've done extensive market research and focus testing'.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:46 (one month ago) link

look i'm not gonna lie if it's 40 extra minutes of babu frik then i'll be there day one

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:48 (one month ago) link

Babu Frik performing Public Enemy's Fight the Power

papa stank (Neanderthal), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:51 (one month ago) link

shut up and take my money

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:51 (one month ago) link

Also the lonely Tosche Station owner finally gives up waiting for Luke. His name...

Mr Binks, Esq

papa stank (Neanderthal), Monday, 6 January 2020 15:56 (one month ago) link

look i'm not gonna lie if it's 40 extra minutes of babu frik then i'll be there day one

*taps the display name badge*

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:00 (one month ago) link

that site with this story looks.. uh, really reputable

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:06 (one month ago) link

no additional frik, no deal

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:11 (one month ago) link

Monaghan then described a scene that he was a part of that didn't make the theatrical cut.

“Another thing that we will hopefully see at some point in the future," he said, "is that in the final battle, Connix [played by Billie Lourd] injures her leg. Obviously, myself, Rose and Connix are exiting the battle, and Rose has a weapon. While Rose is busy doing stuff, I grab Connix’s arm and put it over my shoulder to make sure that all of us come back as unscathed as possible.”

wow this sounds amazing

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:11 (one month ago) link

I really didn't get why Monaghan was in the film

Frederik B, Monday, 6 January 2020 16:13 (one month ago) link

What I want to see is the meal they enjoyed before the battle. In real time, if at all possible.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:13 (one month ago) link

Monaghan, like several other actors, was in the film because he'd worked with Abrams before, full stop.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:14 (one month ago) link

This film needed to be shorter, not longer. Or, the script needed to be simpler. But when there is no fucking point to any of it, it's hard to know what to leave out.

Frederik B, Monday, 6 January 2020 16:15 (one month ago) link

Billie Lourd was robbed tbh

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:15 (one month ago) link

As recently discovered in the Rise of Skywalker Visual Dictionary, Monaghan played historian Beaumont Kin, who was on track to become one the youngest professors at the Lerct Historical Institute before the First Order destroyed the Hosnian system.

phew, glad we cleared that up

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:17 (one month ago) link

did we even know that billie lourd's character's name was connix?

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:17 (one month ago) link

She's named in one or both of the prior movies

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:20 (one month ago) link

you can see Leia's lips not lining up with the dialogue when she says "Billie, get me a coffee" instead of "Connix, what's our status"

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:21 (one month ago) link

The Arhul Hextrophon School of Embedded Journalism was a school located on Lerct. Beaumont Kin attended the school, and met the Rebel Alliance historian Voren Na'al there.

I haven't seen Rise of Skywalker yet, but I'm assuming that the Arhul Hextrophon School of Embedded Journalism is an absolutely central setting.

jmm, Monday, 6 January 2020 16:29 (one month ago) link

yeah, babu frik is a columnist for the new yavin times who ends up reporting from the front lines of the battle with the final order

'Sly Cooper' Movie Breaking Into Theaters In 2016 (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:34 (one month ago) link

I bet Monaghan is telling everybody he had a major part that was cut by the evil studio to just his handful of scenes

papa stank (Neanderthal), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:35 (one month ago) link

bg constantly making me lol today

papa stank (Neanderthal), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:35 (one month ago) link

The film is largely focused on j-school prof Luke's attempts at securing tenure. Sorry 4 spoilers.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 January 2020 16:36 (one month ago) link

I'm rewatched the prequels, mostly because all the post-mortem discourse about "Episode 3 being actually pretty good" made me realize that I had no memory of ever seeing it. (I don't think I actually ever did!)

It's pretty easy to target the awfulness of the "romance" elements, Jar Jar, and talk about how "an explanation for the mystical elements of this series are not what drew us to it in the first place", but as a plot schematic, I'm pretty begrudgingly surprised at how well Lucas was able to create a compelling character out of Palpatine.

Lucas has proposed (I think) that the series be viewed in order-- this would mean that Luke Skywalker's origins, and parentage, would be established before the reveal in 5, so, fuck that-- but I am attracted to the idea that viewing 1-3 might create in the viewer a not-knowing of Palpatine's intentions, and make his re-appearance in 5 (and re-emergence in 6) be that much more compelling, idk. I think there's a lot of good work done here even if, if, if, etc.

kelis navidad (flamboyant goon tie included), Monday, 6 January 2020 19:35 (one month ago) link

This whole fuckery ended better than Game Of Thrones, at the very least

kelis navidad (flamboyant goon tie included), Monday, 6 January 2020 19:35 (one month ago) link

Weird! I was gifted a year of Disney+ for xmas so, as you do, I spent the weekend watching eps 1-2 (for the second time ever in their entirety) and starting on The Clone Wars cartoon, and my impression is pretty much identical to your own. For all the garbage in the prequels that people justifiably denounce, the Palpatine plot and the machinations of the Clone Wars are actually pretty decent. And it kinda shines a light on (no spoilers) how comparatively half-assed certain plot developments are in the new one.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 January 2020 19:41 (one month ago) link

Jar Jar is absolutely cringeworthy, but his quiet moment is actually the pivot that brings Palpatine to power!

There's a very leading discussion in Ep. 2 about how using the clone army could turn the tide, but there's no way that a majority of the senate would vote in favor of using it. Cue Palpatine sadly ruminating that were Senator Amidala here, she could give a speech that would convince the senate to grant the chancellor war powers. Next scene? Jar Jar gives this speech, and Palpatine ends up with the ability to make unilateral decisions in the time of war.

It's unknown whether future historians would hang the entire mess on Senator Binks

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 20:59 (one month ago) link

I hate the character, and it makes me sound like a geek, but I am kinda interested in knowing what on earth happened to Jar-Jar after the fall of the republic, the jedi, and Anakin. What does this goofy idiot do after everything he cares about has collapsed?

Frederik B, Monday, 6 January 2020 21:30 (one month ago) link

be sorry

Οὖτις, Monday, 6 January 2020 21:35 (one month ago) link

I guess when he is sorry he makes a hilarious sound with his mouth.

Frederik B, Monday, 6 January 2020 21:36 (one month ago) link

i assume he was liquidated in the conversion of the senate into the empire. emperor prob had anakin kill him

american bradass (BradNelson), Monday, 6 January 2020 21:41 (one month ago) link

replace "senate" with "republic" lol

american bradass (BradNelson), Monday, 6 January 2020 21:42 (one month ago) link

It's implied in a book that he's a street performer and broke

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 21:46 (one month ago) link

I literally can't tell if that's a joke or not :)

Frederik B, Monday, 6 January 2020 21:49 (one month ago) link

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jar_Jar_Binks#Literature

I wish

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 21:52 (one month ago) link

^ maybe the least-enticing url i have ever seen on this board

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Monday, 6 January 2020 21:54 (one month ago) link

I had the same reaction, really.

Relevant part:
Chuck Wendig's 2017 novel Star Wars: Aftermath: Empire's End, set after the events of Return of the Jedi, finds Binks as a street performer who entertains refugee children but is loathed by adults who blame him for his part in the rise of the Empire.

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 21:55 (one month ago) link

I feel like a worse human being for knowing and posting this

babu frik fan account (mh), Monday, 6 January 2020 21:55 (one month ago) link

wow my idea is much better

american bradass (BradNelson), Monday, 6 January 2020 21:57 (one month ago) link

Aw, that's grim. That's kinda not even darkly funny :(

Frederik B, Monday, 6 January 2020 21:57 (one month ago) link

mh your sacrifice was for the greater good

warn me about a lurking rake (One Eye Open), Monday, 6 January 2020 21:59 (one month ago) link

I was just reading something the other day where Ahmed Best said Lucas intended to have a scene (or scenes) where Jar Jar is shown to be more explicitly a puppet of Palpatine (like at least not quite the fuck-up he seems to be) but that they didn't wind up filming it.

It's really just an awful character in both conception and execution. I've been digging the Clone Wars cartoon but I got to a Jar Jar episode last night and I believe I said aloud 'fucking why'.

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 January 2020 22:12 (one month ago) link

I was told that Jar Jar was at one point tipped to be an actual Sith, and I pictured him squeaking "you can do it, Ani!" at a certain grisly moment in Episode 3

kelis navidad (flamboyant goon tie included), Monday, 6 January 2020 22:47 (one month ago) link

I did like that he absolutely Empire'd everyone, nice little dovetail for a hated character. Was sad to read earlier that Ahmed Best was personally distraught about the character's reception

kelis navidad (flamboyant goon tie included), Monday, 6 January 2020 22:48 (one month ago) link

Dental plan

papa stank (Neanderthal), Monday, 6 January 2020 22:59 (one month ago) link

the Reddit thread about JJB being a covert Sith was both convincing in evidence (mouthing others’ dialogue as they say it, Jedi level acrobatics and fighting) and a good explanation of the Phantom Menace title. I do wish that had been the way Lucas went.

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Monday, 6 January 2020 23:27 (one month ago) link

Rewatched the prequel trilogy again this past weekend. I feel as if it takes on an entirely different place, now... given that it's no longer "the last thing we're getting", it feels somewhat less-important, more effervescent, and thus more enjoyable. I said earlier in this thread that I definitely underrated Lucas's skill at creating a feasible narrative for Palpatine, his machinations and deceptions feel very well-rendered and convincing.

I have always kind of repped for Episode 1, given that podracing and Darth Maul provided some genuinely thrilling moments. Episode 3 on second-viewing is genuinely moving in places, even if Palpatine's "I'm the Sith Lord btw" reveal is clumsy. Overall, the dialogue of the trilogy, which is dreadful, kind of has its charm at this point, it seems no-less-offensive or annoying than any Marvel movie.

But the real Achilles heel, interestingly, is the action in the second half of Episode 2. People focus on the romance falling flat (and it does, sure) but the entire Geonosis sequence (factory, gladiator arena, droids vs. clones, chasing after Dooku, final showdown) is so wretchedly rendered and storyboarded, it's a painfully bad bit of visual storytelling.

flamboyant goon tie included, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:42 (one month ago) link

I will say that, based on what I've seen so far, there's very little in Jar Jar's Clone Wars appearances that contradicts that theory.

Dr. Teeth and the Women (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:44 (one month ago) link

the dialogue of the trilogy, which is dreadful, kind of has its charm at this point

this bowl of shit tastes delicious if you just keep eating it!

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 20:46</