star wars 9 grim resignation thread

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greedo shot first (mh), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:10 (one year ago) link

might be a good time to finally see the other eight

frogbs, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:13 (one year ago) link

are they gonna digitize Carrie Fisher into this or what

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:14 (one year ago) link

I just got VIII out of the library last night so no spoilers plz

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:14 (one year ago) link

Sorry, just one spoiler: Greedo shot Princess Leia. There, I'm done.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:22 (one year ago) link

you want spoilers for #9 in the #9 thread but not for #8?

might be a good time to finally see the other eight

there will be 12 Star Wars feature films by the time the one numbered 9 comes out

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:25 (one year ago) link

Have we fallen so far that we no longer recognize the adventures of the Ewoks?

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 18:48 (one year ago) link

great thread title

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 19:02 (one year ago) link

wookie xmas special counts I think

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 19:09 (one year ago) link

no, that's a variety show

One, Five, Six, Ewok One, Ewok Two, One II, Two, Three, Seven, Rogue One, Eight, Solo: Rogue II, and then Nine is the thirteenth.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 20:05 (one year ago) link

hold on there fella, now what about the animated clone wars movie

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 20:28 (one year ago) link

It's the ninth episodic chapter, the others are cartoons, spinoffs, or specifically marked as "stories" or "anthology material" imo

mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:12 (one year ago) link

Droopy McCool: A Star Wars Story

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:23 (one year ago) link

googling about this this terrible joke has been made about a million times online

Louis Jägermeister (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:24 (one year ago) link

I'm not the biggest McCool fan but I feel I've got to at least give the movie a chance

mh, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:26 (one year ago) link

star wars counting/running order grim resignation thread

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:27 (one year ago) link

hold on there fella, now what about the animated clone wars movie

broke into a cold sweat at reading this, but it turns out to be several episodes of the TV show edited together. my tally stands and is now canonical.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:38 (one year ago) link

Lucas described the film as "almost an afterthought." Howard Roffman, president of Lucas Licensing, said of the decision, "Sometimes George works in strange ways." Producer Catherine Winder said the sudden decision added to an already large challenge of establishing a show "of this sophistication and complexity."

there's a thread for this, Lucasfilm employees.

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:41 (one year ago) link

ha, i was just gonna paste that exact bit from wiki

Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:43 (one year ago) link

The episodes thus confabulated were never shown, though!

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:51 (one year ago) link

If Mulholland Drive counts as a feature film, then so does The Clone Wars: The Movie Which is Actually Just Three Unaired Television Episodes Stapled Together. And yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (one year ago) link

(thrusts chest like a territorial gorilla) Bring it.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:54 (one year ago) link

most of Mulholland Drive, by The Guy That Almost Directed Return Of The Jedi But Didn't, was written* and much of it was filmed for the movie. The European/VHS version of the Twin Peaks pilot is a curio and a sidebar, MD is a film.

*via script and editing

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

Ironic sidebar: Richard Marquand was originally intended to direct Inland Empire!*

*fake fact

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:19 (one year ago) link

clone wars movie got a theatrical release! certainly counts more than the ewok films. ebert even reviewed it.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 22:27 (one year ago) link

after VIII i really don't care what happens in these movies. they have nothing as far as original story. they have been relying entirely on re-staging scenes and sequences from OT films. they've already done the desert planet-Empire hijinks, the death star infiltration, the hoth walkers, dagoba training, the decadence of upper class war profiteers, the ROTJ throne room battle. what have they not taken from the OT...? oh i know, maybe they will have a scene where the new characters step on a trap Scooby Doo style and end up in a giant net, captured by furry creatures.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (one year ago) link

the new movie will have a Cantina reference. the new movie will have a Star Destroyer crashing into another Star Destroyer.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:03 (one year ago) link

certainly counts more than the ewok films

until The Last Jedi, the last time I saw a Star War in the cinema* was Caravan Of Courage.

*or anywhere

chilis=lyrics...hypocrits (sic), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 23:22 (one year ago) link

the new movie will be brought to you by Xerox. the new movie will give your mouth sex appeal and will be right back after a message.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 00:17 (one year ago) link

looking forward to this movie!

nashwan, Thursday, 19 April 2018 09:54 (one year ago) link

They'll probably find a way to kill off Chewie in this one.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:28 (one year ago) link

Aye, they've taken an odd reaction to the fan fury over Chewie's death on the books.

I am not looking forward to this much, which is odd because I enjoyed the first two - but The Last Jedi is so much better than The Force Awakens, and so neatly critiques it, that the prospect of JJ Abrams returning to "no the parents / lightsaber / Snoke are actually really big deals, you won't believe what happens next" fills me with some gloom.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 11:56 (one year ago) link

killing Chewbacca off makes no sense, he's in his prime middle age years while all these dumb human types are getting old

he could have an entire couple human lifetimes ahead of him, making all these shenanigans a past memory

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:20 (one year ago) link

the only ending I will accept would be Chewie ditching the rest of the characters during the climax and piloting the Falcon to unknown coordinates, with the rest of his long life playing out in wistful flashes a la the Six Feet Under finale

Simon H., Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:23 (one year ago) link

they kind of did that in the ending of the most recent cartoon series! their chewbacca-type character ended up riding off into the sunset

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:25 (one year ago) link

I hope Chewie finally succumbs to male pattern baldness in this one.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 13:30 (one year ago) link

I knwo its not technically a film but

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Droids

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:04 (one year ago) link

cuz

An edited compilation DVD with the title Star Wars Animated Adventures: Droids was released on November 23, 2004. The DVD contained eight episodes of the series, edited together as two full-length movies. Besides cutting the theme song of the series, many other small modifications were made for the home video releases, most notably changes to the soundtrack.[2]

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:05 (one year ago) link

the soundtrack on Droids is really weird in a cool way

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

There's nothing grim about a film 100% focused on revealing the secrets of campus utility data

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 17:17 (one year ago) link

is there some way we could mix together all the movies into one movie to end all star wars movies?

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:33 (one year ago) link

so stoked for this

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

will they finally blow up the death star?!?!???

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:37 (one year ago) link

shakes!! :) hi

The Desus & Mero Chain (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:38 (one year ago) link

They've been blowing up Death Star after Death Star and getting nowhere. Maybe the trick is to not blow up the Death Star.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

maybe they should build their own death star

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

and then the two death stars could make sweet sweet death star love and have a baby death star. a death starlet.

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 19:41 (one year ago) link

All these Death Stars. Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

boo typo

DJI, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:06 (one year ago) link

The prequels are the worst star wars movies and they have zero death stars. The Han Solo movie looks like it might be terrible and also not have a death star. Empire Strikes Back and the Last Jedi are good despite not having death stars appearing but it seems likely in both movies that a death star is being built somewhere off screen. Death stars are the secret ingredient that make these movies great and they should not be mocked.

silverfish, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:09 (one year ago) link

Can't anyone make a iLife Star?

only if Disney buys Apple

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:21 (one year ago) link

Wasn't that the plot of Wrath of Khan?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:22 (one year ago) link

quiet you!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:25 (one year ago) link

are people already actually sick of this franchise I can't tell anymore

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:33 (one year ago) link

In record time, we're sick of you.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:40 (one year ago) link

sorry if my mocking opprobrium is upsetting your grim resignation

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:45 (one year ago) link

iirc the ending of Episode I includes Anakin flying his ship into the core of a conspiciously large droid ship to blow it up

droid star, imo

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:53 (one year ago) link

Episode X
A NEW THREAT

Utility data got stolen AGAIN.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 April 2018 20:55 (one year ago) link

i would be shocked if "solo" features no death star. i mean the first three prequels had the shoehorned fanservice scenes with like the plans appearing on christopher lee's monitor or w/e, and the fans bought it, so i feel like it would not be hard to cut away to the emperor and vader, planning to shut down the dangerous, unlicensed "kessel" race across the galaxy, and striding through their architects' full-size mockup of different control room schemes for a top-secret battle station. they could even create a young mads mikkelsen with cgi, to be showing it to them, with a closeup on his face to indicate there's more to him than meets the eye. only true fans who have seen deep-cut mega blockbuster "rogue one" will catch this reference!!! aren't cinematic universes the best!!!???

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:39 (one year ago) link

(voiceover): they weren't

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:40 (one year ago) link

It'll be some ominous rumour about the Empire buying up or appropriating massive amounts of material and labour. "They're building something, Solo... something big."

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:51 (one year ago) link

If you look closely, you can see the Death Star go by in the background during the Kessel Run.

jmm, Thursday, 19 April 2018 21:53 (one year ago) link

"something big" version seems very, very plausible. and there'll be a whiff of the imperial march on the score even though the scene overall is supposed to have a totally different tone.

noel gallaghah's high flying burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:04 (one year ago) link

will he have a bad feeling about it

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:13 (one year ago) link

You clearly haven't watched the trailer

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:14 (one year ago) link

why watch movies or trailers, I only watch merchandising

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

Trenchant

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

my Star Wars brand bag of broccoli told me all I needed to know about the Last Jedi

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:16 (one year ago) link

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/583rA2JlUjk/hqdefault.jpg

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:20 (one year ago) link

I can see you really honed that Whiney impression on your sabbatical, shakes. ILX's Rich Little does it again!

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:23 (one year ago) link

(nice to have u back, bruh)

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:24 (one year ago) link

pfft I think you will find my Star Wars hatred predates Whiney's schtick by several parsecs

Οὖτις, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:25 (one year ago) link

kind of sad we didn’t name the thread “star wars 9? no great shakes. grim resignation thread”

mh, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:40 (one year ago) link

/r/shakeydidnothingwrong

how's life, Thursday, 19 April 2018 22:59 (one year ago) link

i’m all for shakey complaining as much as possible

he’s like the jaded luke from the last jedi

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 00:25 (one year ago) link

that tracks

shakey strikes me as someone who would enjoy broccoli

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:01 (one year ago) link

broccoli is good but i like brussels sprouts better

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 02:21 (one year ago) link

Gif of shakey indignantly gulping space milk

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:27 (one year ago) link

you get my ideas, Moodles

mh, Friday, 20 April 2018 02:43 (one year ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/QfDQYP4.gif

startled macropod (MatthewK), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:47 (one year ago) link

Lol

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 20 April 2018 02:58 (one year ago) link

what should happen is they finally make peace with the death star which has become a sentient being on its own Like in MOana they add teh heart of skywalker and it becomes a sexy big tree lady that fixes things

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Friday, 20 April 2018 15:24 (one year ago) link

somebody give this kid a million dollars and a production contract

Οὖτις, Friday, 20 April 2018 15:46 (one year ago) link

still waiting for that day

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Friday, 20 April 2018 15:46 (one year ago) link

What if the heroes slowly discover that there is also a Death Moon and a Death Heart and a Death Clover and a Death Diamond and that Lucky the Deathprecaun has been pulling all of the evil strings this whole time, what if that.

Across the You Never Her (Old Lunch), Friday, 20 April 2018 16:01 (one year ago) link

What if someone wipes off the dust on the nameplate and they find it's the "frienD EArTH STAR"

startled macropod (MatthewK), Friday, 20 April 2018 22:20 (one year ago) link

damned dirty apes

mh, Saturday, 21 April 2018 01:30 (one year ago) link

I'd li;ke a cross over of Hitchhiker's guide universe into star wars where the invinifteimprobality drive powers the new Golden Death sta turning it into the Life STar and they the wookies and ewoks run it

Rabbit Control (Latham Green), Monday, 23 April 2018 18:34 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

Appears Billy Dee Williams will be the returning cast member in this one

groovypanda, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 07:55 (one year ago) link

About time!

Actually, I haven't seen any of the new ones yet. Should I? I've never been a die hard or anything, but I've heard spoilers and I'm not sure watching movies where [that one] and [the other one] get killed off in succession has much appeal to me?

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 11:30 (one year ago) link

they’re moderately diverting, worth a look if you’ve got the time i guess

rogue one is the best of the new batch, haters don’t @ me

Do you hate the youth? If not then it's a good idea to see them.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:08 (one year ago) link

I'm just a sap who likes everyone having happy endings and whatnot at the end of ROTJ

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:15 (one year ago) link

see Solo! srsly it's about as feel-good as these get and there's plenty of Lando action

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:17 (one year ago) link

rogue one > force awakens > last jedi > solo

this is canonical

Yeah Rogue is even better in the re-watching, i'm hoping the same is true for TLJ when i get around to it but not holding out much hope. Caught just a glimpse of the casino scene from it last week and was all 'urgh jesus..'.

piscesx, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:43 (one year ago) link

i'd agree with that ranking. all of these are better than the prequels by a factor of 10

akm, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:47 (one year ago) link

tbh the most interesting thing to me about TLJ is how fiercely divided the reaction is, like not even the people who hate or love it seem to agree with each other as to what's good/bad about it

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:52 (one year ago) link

It's kind of like, I don't care if they're good, I'm just not persuaded I need to see the story continue, especially if I have to watch childhood characters die in weird, inappropriate ways. As if Crystal Skull wasn't punishment enough.

I'll see Rogue and Solo though, why not

And I'll see the sequels eventually, who am I kidding

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:58 (one year ago) link

Talk also going around last week that Keri Russell had been cast in an unspecified role, not confirmed by Disney/LFL yet.

Eliza D., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 12:59 (one year ago) link

She would make a great fucking villain in SW though.

Eliza D., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:00 (one year ago) link

I liked it fine at the time but there were a few groans and it dragged badly. I just think a lot of the reaction looking back was just a comedown from the high of TFA. JJ has his work cut out for sure.

xp They're nothing like Crystal Skull at all IMO so that's something i guess.

piscesx, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:01 (one year ago) link

She would make a great fucking villain in SW though.

I don't think they're canny enough to use her in this way tbh. I expect she'll be playing another Fierce Resistance Heroine(tm).

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:03 (one year ago) link

Billy Dee Williams was originally supposed to be in the last one and they passed on him for some reason. he is now 81 years old

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:05 (one year ago) link

xp I don't know, this is one of the rare instances where I feel like Abrams can actually manage a curveball, especially with an actress he knows really well.

Eliza D., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:10 (one year ago) link

The Russell/JJ connection hadn't even occurred to me. It would be cool if they did something great with her, she's usually wasted in films (MI:III, the Apes movie she was in)

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:12 (one year ago) link

Hrm, I thought it was somewhere here that someone was saying they went back to rewatch TLJ and was delighted to find out that it stays as good (unlike TFA, which is very hit-this-beat-then-that-one-then). It is pretty clearly the best of them, though.

JJ has his work cut out for sure.

I'm really not expecting anything non-Pavlovian from Episode 9.

especially if I have to watch childhood characters die in weird, inappropriate ways

I could be wrong but I think even the haters* think the deaths were well done.

*okay not Adam.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:14 (one year ago) link

I'm just a sap who likes everyone having happy endings and whatnot at the end of ROTJ

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, July 10, 2018 8:15 AM (fifty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol my advice is to just enjoy that final shot of all the characters together like the big happy family that they are. everyone ends up dying alone and apart from one another.

funny, there are several reunion shots where old characters are introduced to old spaceships or old robots and these moments are milked for nostalgia, but nobody thought of getting the gang of human actors back together.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:17 (one year ago) link

im not a hater, i actually enjoyed the film when i saw it. but pressured into thinking it's a genius work of art i disagree and i guess that makes me a hater.

i just don't think it's an amazing work of film, just like most of the other ones. it's funny how you could trash the prequels and nobody called you a hater. that's part of the fun of watching dumb space movies. apparently it's serious shit now.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:18 (one year ago) link

xp ...apart from the scenes where they do.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:19 (one year ago) link

this movie is going to end with most of the galaxy being blown up and 3 of our heroes getting in an escape POD and heading to a new galaxy and landing on this weird blue planet called EARTH

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:33 (one year ago) link

That seems pretty likely.

devops mom (silby), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:36 (one year ago) link

I'm the man out there pressuring individuals into believing star wars movies are genius works of art

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:43 (one year ago) link

u monster

my friend who does Star Wars cosplay (mostly as Kylo Ren) went to Disney as Rose (wearing a similar pendant) and got harassed by a busboy who proceeded to accost her and tell her how terrible a character she was for about 15 minutes while she was trying to get food.

I kinda hate this fanbase.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:55 (one year ago) link

(natch they reported him)

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 13:55 (one year ago) link

should have told him he was doing a horrible job playing a Disney employee and they can people for that

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 14:05 (one year ago) link

i find it pretty weird that the twitter/tumblr/online press zeitgeist opinion seems to be that The Last Jedi WAS A TOTAL ERROR OMG DISASTER HOLY SHIT THEY WRECKED STAR WARS

whereas my experience seeing it and chatting to normal real life people afterwards was that despite a few shitty bits, everyone had a lovely time and it went down really damn well.

people on the internet convinced of the importance of their own opinions can't allow themselves to not tear every single thing apart i guess?

Hmmmmm (jamiesummerz), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 14:47 (one year ago) link

^
(old man shouting at "the cloud")

Hmmmmm (jamiesummerz), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 14:48 (one year ago) link

this whole revival is an exercise in pandering and condescension (I say this as someone who mostly likes the new movies) and people, as a rule, unconsciously despise being pandered to.

ryan, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:02 (one year ago) link

Last Jedi was pretty great imo. I think it's the least pander-y of the bunch.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:28 (one year ago) link

really excited for this

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:43 (one year ago) link

oh wait sorry thought this was the RIP Donald Trump thread

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:44 (one year ago) link

the films are very skillfully made with some awe-inspiring moments...i think they fall short in certain areas, mostly in their stabs at terrible meta humor that are mostly completely out of character for those who deliver the lines.

omar little, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:46 (one year ago) link

Agreed, I don't think they benefit from any kind of self-awareness

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 15:53 (one year ago) link

Shdn't grim resignation be the title of uk politics thread lol

Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:12 (one year ago) link

Actually, I haven't seen any of the new ones yet. Should I?

The Last Jedi was the first new one I've seen since Caravan Of Courage was in the cinema, and I enjoyed it OK

kelp, clam and carrion (sic), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:42 (one year ago) link

the last jedi > attack of the clones > revenge of the sith > rogue one > the phantom menace > the force awakens

difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:43 (one year ago) link

Attack of the Clones should always bring up the rear

the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:46 (one year ago) link

McGregor brings up the rear of that alien-cook's trousers in the diner scene

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:47 (one year ago) link

the last jedi > attack of the clones > revenge of the sith > rogue one > the phantom menace > the force awakens

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, July 10, 2018 9:43 AM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh wow i am so into this ranking

princess of hell (BradNelson), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:47 (one year ago) link

nobody thought of getting the gang of human actors back together

wha? that’s fucking nuts

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:52 (one year ago) link

rewatched all the prequels this last few weeks as the girlfriend hadn't seen them. They're all actually worse than I remember. stories and scripts are mindboggling awful from start to finish and anyone thinking the new films are somehow worse than them is crazy.

Hmmmmm (jamiesummerz), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:53 (one year ago) link

Clones at least is somewhat entertaining during the assassination sequence and then, yeah.

Phantom Menace was godawful, I watched that one for the first time since 1999.

I still kinda like RotS, warts and all.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 16:58 (one year ago) link

the part where Anakin gets the "it's only a fleshwound!" treatment is v funny

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 17:06 (one year ago) link

guys let's just do a "the prequels are: good or bad" poll and everyone who votes for the losing option gets permabanned

Simon H., Tuesday, 10 July 2018 17:29 (one year ago) link

polls are anonymous to protect those of us who keep voting for a certain indiana jones/crystal skull movie as the best spielberg work

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 17:38 (one year ago) link

The Last Jedi > The Force Awakens >> Rogue One >> root canal >>>>> the prequels

Police, Academy (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 18:17 (one year ago) link

seriously tho, the three old leads aren't in *any* scenes together?

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 18:51 (one year ago) link

not a one in TFA

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 18:58 (one year ago) link

well, I guess Han Solo/Chewbacca counts, although in the last couple released films, Mayhem is no longer in the costume

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 18:59 (one year ago) link

petition for a spin-off starring Dean Winters as Chewbacca with the wookiee head taken off

kelp, clam and carrion (sic), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:01 (one year ago) link

how the fuck did I type that instead of Mayhew

Peter Mayhew. sheesh. sic, you should have caught that

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:02 (one year ago) link

oh wait, the insurance commercial character is Mr. Mayhem and I was properly clowned

never mind

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:04 (one year ago) link

... did you take a piss all the way through the Han / Leia scene?

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:17 (one year ago) link

I was doing my hair

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 19:20 (one year ago) link

this is where I admit that I took "the three old leads aren't in *any* scenes together?" to mean all three of them in the same scene and then appended han-chewie as an additional combo outside of the han-leia and luke-leia duos

but then decided it'd be funnier if I pretended the only two to ever appear together were han and chewie

chewie did not, in fact, do something different with his hair

mh, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 20:02 (one year ago) link

ok fine i'll see the damn films

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 10 July 2018 20:18 (one year ago) link

I'm the man out there pressuring individuals into believing star wars movies are genius works of art

― mh

"the last jedi" showed up on netflix. i don't have netflix but the place where i get my tms has netflix and i got tired of watching nature documentaries after five weeks (yes i understand now what polar bears look like and your narrator script is terrible) so i'm watching it again, this time in 2d. it really is a wonderfully put together movie, "genius work of art" i wouldn't say but it's fantastically subversive, kind of like moffat's doctor who except it's entertaining in addition to being clever. my drunk ass is wondering how much of the backlash is just a backlash against people being clever, which if you don't like cleverness fuck you you are sentenced to watching all of the "nick and nora" movies until you stop perceiving this as a "sentence".

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 02:06 (one year ago) link

seriously today i was watching the scene transition where they went from a zoom from water dripping on kylo ren's hand to a spaceship, if you'd rather see another fucking wipe fuck you you are sentenced to watching "radar men from the moon" until you _do_ perceive this as being a sentence

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 02:08 (one year ago) link

I was being sarcastic because they’re workmanlike family space dramas

steve yedlin pretty solid cinematographer though and when they ramp up all the practical+digital visual effects and great foley artists even scenes that drag seem like they could be real

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 02:49 (one year ago) link

also re: clever, I kind of hated them when I realized in the intro he is saying “holding for general HUGS” but now I kind of chuckle and mumble “general hugs”

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 02:50 (one year ago) link

idk, i've seen enough mediocre and bad films that i have a hard time describing any of the star wars films, even the awful ones, as "workmanlike"

and yeah, starting the movie with one of the main characters making a stupid prank phone call to a captain of a star destroyer is idiotic enough to be entertaining. there's a fine line, i've been told, between clever and stupid, and "the last jedi" for the most part straddles it expertly

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:11 (one year ago) link

buddy “workmanlike” in my book means they have a work ethic, actual normal level of skills (they’re probably union), and they’re able to hack it

I mean, if you go by strict definitions a lot of Ron Howard work is hack work — they give a director with the right skills a direction and a script and he churns out usable product. It doesn’t mean it’s bad in quality necessarily. imo JJ Abrams is very much in the hack camp — he takes the day’s norms and a given formula and comes out with something that reaches the standards of the time

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:19 (one year ago) link

I also think there are several directors/producers who are sub-hack getting work now because they’re disconnected from modern standards or think themselves auteurs and fall far short of interesting result

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:23 (one year ago) link

In repeat viewings the stupidest part about TLJ is how much time it spends on two doofuses who are always fucking up and surviving by miraculous intervention while almost all their comrades get murdered in bulk, and not making it funny enough.

I get the sense there was a difficult balancing act between treating Finn and Poe as the completely absurd, walking punchlines of masculinity that they are, and treating the near-total wipeout of the Resistance with some kind of A Bridge Too Far seriousness, and they got middled on the deal.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:34 (one year ago) link

Like there’s a great dark comedy buried in TLJ - and i said basically right after Rian Johnson was announced that the guidepost to use was Brothers Bloom - but we’re supposed to care about all the rebel redshirts getting murked every other minute and that just makes it a little too much like those goddamn Hobbit sequels that aren’t any fun either.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:38 (one year ago) link

I think TLJ owes a considerable debt plotwise, in terms of the rebel fleet actions and even the aesthetics and pursuit manner of the First Order, to the new Battlestar Galactica. I’m thinking of the (very excellent) second or third episode of the series (maybe it was called 33?), where they kept jumping and getting caught by the Cylon fleet because they were somehow tracking them.

omar little, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 03:49 (one year ago) link

yup

mh, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 04:02 (one year ago) link

i don't think it gets terribly "middled", no - i think a lot of the criticism is about perceived tonal whiplash, which i don't see - having seen enough modern doctor who, and, frankly, living in 2018, i don't think there's any disconnect between slapstick comedy and apocalypse.

re-watching the movie, i don't think we as viewers are supposed to care about the rebel redshirts, but poe and finn _are_, and they're portrayed as incompetent for the simple reason that they don't. as for "miraculous intervention", one person's "miraculous intervention" is another's pure blind luck.

maybe i'm cynical about what human beings are capable of, but i find making an entertaining and watchable blockbuster movie takes an exceptional level of talent. to me, if you can shoot a three camera sitcom without sticking the boom mike in shot too often, that's my bar for competence.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 04:26 (one year ago) link

the hobbit films? i could barely make it twenty minutes into them. absolutely leaden films, everything was telegraphed to excruciating extent. major characters from the books got lingering shots and ridiculous fanfares. none of the characters were at all likeable, they were all Important. they put fucking sylvester mccoy in the thing and he wasn't any more over the top than anyone else. the humor in tlj is certainly lowbrow humor, but it's brief enough that, to my chronically humor-averse sensibilities, it's actually funny instead of excruciating (see: lucas, george).

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 04:37 (one year ago) link

Kindly forgive any digressions/transgressions below, as I certainly won't remember them:

1) The autie fans also note that the novel Force powers and starship tactics (re: hyperspace) in TLJ invalidate much prior canon. Ie, huge swathes of the cinematic, animated, and literary canon hbecome senseless if force users can survive and fly about in vacuum, and starships can kamikaze through hyperspace.

2) We've never learned the appeal of the New Order, or for that matter its Imperial predecessor. In human history, most taxpayers are likely cattle, initially cowed by fear, but every enduring state has had an ideology providing legitimacy, and winning recruits. Whether its a claim to divine righ, fear of other nations, or of other classes. What exactly does the NO have? How can one align the economic efforts of billions, if it only seems to serve the whims of a petulant emo? Honestly, just as the best video game in the franchise (Tie Fighter (1994)) followed life in the Imperial navy (which was as beset by civil conflict as the Roman military), I think the best film in the franchise would look at what compels people to join the Empire/NO, what competing interests they serve there, how they let off steam, and how ordinary citizens view the rebels.

3) Since the debut, SW has existed primarily to sell action figure toys. Over 4 decades, I wouldn't be surprised if toy licencing outpaced box office nets. When I was young, my mum didn't buy SW figurines, like my friends had. I got the silver headed Micronauts, because mum was clueless. My friends had small-to-large scale SW dioramas in their bedrooms. I just had a handful of these peculiar yet more flexible ciphers, which my friends would pose in homoerotic tableaus.

4) So, fuck 'em all. Go crazy SW marketing and SW 9 writers. Let Chewie become the furry sex object he/she/it always threatened to become. Let Kylo realize he really wanted to express himself through paint instead of sabers all along. Let Rose Tico obtain justice from anonymous dark side hecklers, with extreme prejudice. I think SW licenced sex toys, and thumbscrews, would sell *great* among remaining die hards.

Roomba with an attitude (Sanpaku), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 04:45 (one year ago) link

true that a tie fighter movie would be rad but one of the radder things about tlj was that it was closer than the franchise had ever seemed likely to come to a kotor2 movie

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:14 (one year ago) link

def agreed that one of the (few) inherited problems it doesn't even try to dissolve is that the first order makes even less sense than any of the other aspiring states in these movies

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:18 (one year ago) link

(oh and allowing kamikaze attacks is the least of it rly: obviously they should put hyperdrives on missiles.)

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:22 (one year ago) link

xp I mean, if “give me your fucking lunch money” is an ideology, fair enough, otherwise that might be the wrongest statement ever.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:39 (one year ago) link

I’m sick of humorless pedants trying to make this long running multimedia series of pastiches of comic books and samurai movies be totally self-consistent in every aspect of its worldbuilding

devops mom (silby), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:45 (one year ago) link

I liked The Last Jedi, the next JJ one will probably be straight back to shooting without a script and fixing it in post but I’ll probably still find it enjoyable in the theater and it’ll probably still not withstand any kind of careful scrutiny from any angle, what is the problem if a Star Wars movie doesn’t make sense, I ask you.

devops mom (silby), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:49 (one year ago) link

yeah i do think the FO is m/l ideologically fine (parti de l'ordre) but the gap between ROTJ and TFA just isn't plausibly bridged imo. silby otm tho obv who cares. i mean i did care watching TFA. found that movie just repulsively decadent. makes scary movie 3 look like alexander nevsky.

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 06:56 (one year ago) link

1. one of the things that irritates me about fans who bicker about changes to canon is that the stuff they hold up as canon is stuff they would have, if it was new, denounced as heretical (and probably did, back in the day). god, how would these "just admit it's bad" people take "The Empire Strikes Back", which did just as thorough a job at fucking with fan expectations - more thorough, really, because at the time there was no precedent for it? when i hear this kind of "but CONTINUITY" bickering i just want to move on as quickly as possible to the point where we can ignore and laugh at these people, or at best treat their complaints as a wacky joke like luke snogging his sister.

there's also this assumption that characters will behave in ways that are logical to the _viewer_ rather than having their own, alien motivations. maybe there weren't kamikaze hyperspace attacks before because nobody had ever thought of one before!

2. in 2018 i don't think "why do people support the empire" is a question we need to watch a movie to answer. i really don't. in any case fandom has plenty of persuasive answers to this question - "the death star was an inside job", imperial media perpetuating the dolchstosslegende, economic essays about how building multiple death stars would wreck the galactic economy and make any post-imperial form of governance impossible.

3. the toy licensing thing is one of the biggest urban legends about star wars. after '77 when a bunch of kids got empty cardboard boxes for christmas they learned about the importance of toys to the line pretty quickly, but the notion that star wars was, from its inception, made to sell toys, or that george lucas made more from the toys than he did from the movies, has i believe been debunked.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 13:50 (one year ago) link

film crit hulk tackled a lot of this issues in a recent essay, particularly this one: "there's also this assumption that characters will behave in ways that are logical to the _viewer_ rather than having their own, alien motivations. maybe there weren't kamikaze hyperspace attacks before because nobody had ever thought of one before!"

http://observer.com/2018/07/film-crit-hulk-the-beautiful-ugly-and-possessive-hearts-of-star-wars/

supreme court justice samuel lance-ito (voodoo chili), Wednesday, 11 July 2018 14:31 (one year ago) link

<3 Film Crit Hulk

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 11 July 2018 18:58 (one year ago) link

yeah i actually read and enjoyed film crit hulk's essay last week (and then forgot i was repeating one of fch's points! obviously i agree). i think fch's point that people think the movie is "bad" because they don't agree with it, but it kind of goes beyond that for me, where you have people accusing characters behaving in psychologically plausible ways, not trusting their allies, etc., of being "unrealistic". the stuff backlashers are most adamant about calling "unrealistic" are things that are happening in the world right now. that's what rubs me the wrong way about the fans, it's less that they don't like the movie but they refuse to accept reality. this is why i think they are bad people.

at the same time i don't want to emphasize too hard the notion that star wars is about an alien society, because that weakens it as social/political allegory. backlashers who accuse tlj of promoting a women good/men bad agenda aren't really giving holdo proper consideration, because there's an argument to be made that she is, at the very least, a seriously flawed leader. chain of command (i can't believe these wehraboo shits don't understand basic chain of command) means that holdo didn't _have_ to explain anything to dameron, but her decision to not trust her underling, while certainly rational and well-motivated, was probably a poor one, one that revealed her inexperience. her engaging in a kamikaze attack is also not necessarily super praiseworthy. for all we know kamikaze attacks might be considered morally reprehensible in that millieu.

i am rewatching this week and i will acknowledge that it has certain flaws. particularly the casino planet sequence - while within the larger framework of the movie it's necessary, both from a pacing and from a character development point of view, it was markedly inferior to previous iterations of the sequence (any series that wishes to survive long-term has to adopt iteration). the shaggy-dog sequence really needs something like the absurd touch of the coens to work. also, the depiction of the child slaves came a couple years too soon - we would have had something better-rendered than fucking space newsies if it were done today.

there's so much else in this movie that does work, though, that it seems stupid to focus on the few substandard bits. god, at some point mark hamill actually learned how to act! that was fun to watch.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 12 July 2018 01:42 (one year ago) link

Wait, didn't this film come out just 7 months ago?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 12 July 2018 01:51 (one year ago) link

sure but it wasn't _filmed_ 7 months ago

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 12 July 2018 01:52 (one year ago) link

the most underrated part of the casino scene is that little dude who thinks bb-8 is a slot machine

mh, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:19 (one year ago) link

...who, apparently, was voiced by Mark Hamill

mh, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:27 (one year ago) link

for all we know kamikaze attacks might be considered morally reprehensible in that millieu.

They certainly weren’t in the OT!

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:39 (one year ago) link

& certainly not so in Rogue One either!

the reasoning for not putting hyperdrives on cruise missiles seems obvious to me - they’re expensive and take time to spin up, during which sensors are able to detect their activation early in the process; the only reason Holdo’s maneuver succeeds is because she turns around the ship at the last second, after the FO officers have already decided to ignore it (“it’s empty”) and she’s piloting a massive vessel with incredibly powerful shield generators.

a launcher firing hyperspace-enabled drones would be a huge liability for any ship big enough to carry one. Flexible fighters that can dodge their way in close have a better return on investment. IRL, this is why we use carriers as flagships instead of big rafts covered in MLRS boxes (although yes, against adversaries with weak aerospace A2/AD, cruise missile destroyers play a very important role)

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:53 (one year ago) link

The slow bombers with weak-ass shields in the opening sequence make literally no sense to me though. Those things are trash, it really is a complete fuckup by the FO that they lost a ship to that run.

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:56 (one year ago) link

“Let’s buy a half dozen of something that’s worse than the Y-Wing in every possible category”

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 02:58 (one year ago) link

I feel like this scene and the salt-skiiing skimmers with their red plumes both offered that primal "HOLY SHIT AWESOME" which is one of the things I come to Star Wars for. And then you make up whatever explanation you have to make up in order to facilitate that feeling.

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, December 22, 2017 12:13 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The only thing that annoyed me about that scene was that she waited so long to do it. She just stood and waited while the transporters got shot down.

― Frederik B, Friday, December 22, 2017 12:20 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

made up explanation: the transporters have to be a certain distance away or the polar-ray dynasphere effect of actuating the hyperdrive matrix will scramble their navigational circuits

― Newb Sybok (Doctor Casino), Friday, December 22, 2017 12:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:00 (one year ago) link

aren't the bombers just continuing the analogy to old-school aerial warfare? bombers are heavy and slow and need to be protected by lighter fighters while they execute a bombing run...?

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:00 (one year ago) link

The empire tricked out some TIE fighters as bombers as seen in ESB, when they were pounding that asteroid searching for the Millenium Falcon, not sure why the Resistance couldn’t have pulled off something similar.

omar little, Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:05 (one year ago) link

oh who knows. the chronology and origins of the resistance and first order vis-a-vis the new republic remain totally obscure, so for all we know, all kinds of really great stuff got nabbed by the first order in the confusion as things split apart, or got wiped out between the movies, so what we're seeing in TLJ is sort of the last clunky scraps of the arsenal. another reason for leia and holdo to be pissed off at poe for sacrificing this gear willy-nilly!

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:09 (one year ago) link

Y'all are so great at watching movies

Simon H., Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:10 (one year ago) link

And you’re great at being a snob! Everyone wins

El Tomboto, Thursday, 12 July 2018 03:14 (one year ago) link

tie bombers had like three bombs in them and made the smallest dent in an unshielded asteroid, c’mon

and part of it comes down to tactics and scale. a single fighter going to hyperspace is going to make an instant impact crater on a huge ship and it’s a shit strategy, it’s a bigger missile even if the velocity is so high.
in a large scale battle between actual militaries, which is what the resistance feels like even if it’s a unsanctioned force, there’s the illusion of military rules that confer legitimacy. a terrorist rebellion sacrifices huge warships or makes weapons out of capital ships and a ruling republic doesn’t

commander dipshit thinks the first order is an insurrection against a regime and never considered he’s actually got the real upper hand that people would suicide bomb

mh, Thursday, 12 July 2018 04:39 (one year ago) link

I mean, that is what made the prequel trilogy both a tragedy of undercooked storytelling and too real (although still undercooked) when it came to intergalactic struggle — there was a republic that existed as a representative group, with independent states, impartial mediators in the form of jedi, and no standing galactic army. Someone swoops in and creates a struggle where the mediators become not-impartial warriors and they obtain an army, making the manufactured enemy seem legitimate and wrecking the balance

in the interim between movies there’s an untold half-cooked republic that doesn’t want an army, and the allure of allying with a strongman is inevitable because everyone saw what happened. So you blast the senate out of existence and suddenly it’s once again the armies-are-bad faction and the strongman who thinks any resistance is a legitimate army — and unfortunately, they mostly act that way because they want legitimacy. Until, boom, they have nothing left and they’re the rebellion again.

Star Wars goes, for better or worse, back to the idea of whether you can have a standing military claiming to represent a multitude of states and interest fighting against that strongman

mh, Thursday, 12 July 2018 04:51 (one year ago) link

her decision to not trust her underling, while certainly rational and well-motivated, was probably a poor one

I don't think "should I loop in the guy who got our entire bomber fleet and several fighter pilots killed, earning him a demotion? Nah." is a poor decision at all. For all she knew he'd repeat the same mistake immediately. Which he almost did!!

Eliza D., Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:19 (one year ago) link

it didn't really cost them much either other than a short 5 minute delay while he attempted a coup

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:28 (one year ago) link

Holdo was entirely in her rights. Poe is a dangerous maniac.

what upset me the most about Holdo/Leia was the way they just gave him a pass because they still like him for some unexplained reason minutes after he just nearly got them both killed and tried to mutiny.

Poe being the face of the heroes is maybe the main reason i am not looking forward to 9. i just don't like this character. if he died offscreen in the intro scroll that would be fine w me.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:33 (one year ago) link

he was a hero pilot who saved many lives in many, many missions. he made a grievous (and fatal) error, but it's not like it erases his past heroism in their minds.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:35 (one year ago) link

I like Oscar Isaac as an actor but there's something off in the way the Poe character is written or acted that makes him very unappealing beyond "Hey! Handsome Dude!" Like they were going for Han Mach 2 and ended up with Cocky Bro.

Cocky Brolo?

An Uphill Battle For Legumes (Capitaine Jay Vee), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:43 (one year ago) link

I don't think "should I loop in the guy who got our entire bomber fleet and several fighter pilots killed, earning him a demotion? Nah." is a poor decision at all. For all she knew he'd repeat the same mistake immediately. Which he almost did!!

― Eliza D.

to reiterate i agree that she had ample motivation to not loop him in, but the effect of that was that holdo, a new leader who had yet to earn the trust of those serving under her, came in and said "OK, we're continuing our death march to nowhere, respect my authority." That's not really good for morale. At the very least she could have said "I have a secret plan I can't tell you about right now". and to reiterate i don't think this is a flaw of the _movie_ but a flaw in the _character_.

i'd like poe less if he hadn't (along with everybody else in the film) received significant character development during the film. on my second watch i admit i am getting a little wore out on john boyega's constant look of surprise.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 12 July 2018 13:55 (one year ago) link

it didn't really cost them much either other than a short 5 minute delay while he attempted a coup

― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal)

rewatched this section of the film today, not really true, his idiot plan meant that her non-idiot plan got given away to the first order, resulting in the deaths of about half of the fleet. poe's dumbshit plan basically got luke skywalker killed. that's what makes his character arc so satisfying to me - he lives in a world where everybody wants to be han solo and shoot first, and his arc allows him to be something other than a dipshit han solo imitation. i guess on rewatch i am starting to see why all the dipshit han solo wannabes hate it. yeah, this trilogy, and particularly this movie, focuses on new, young characters with abilities and motivations of their own - if your idea of a sequel trilogy which consists of the old cast getting together and reminiscing about old times i guess it's not going to be the movie you wanted. personally, speaking as a lifelong fuckup, the film's message that you can be a complete fuckup and still be a hero is just the movie i wanted to see.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Thursday, 12 July 2018 22:53 (one year ago) link

idk how much I'd put that squarely on Poe, I mean, the initiative for getting on the First Order ship to turn off the light speed tracker came entirely from Finn and Rose. Poe just greenlit it and contributed the idea to call Maz. and while it is largely his burden as he was a Captain and enabled it to go forward, I'm not entirely sure he wouldn't have preferred that plan to Holdo's plan if he had heard both of them side by side.

It was a bit easier for him to accept the Crait escape when he was already in an escape pod headed there, and after he'd audibly heard Rose and Finn fail over the intercom, than it probably would have been had he heard both plans in real time when they were temporarily safe from First Order attack ships.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 July 2018 22:59 (one year ago) link

can't remember: does it ever explain why the rebel fleet all sticks together to be destroyed, rather than fleeing in all different directions?

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 13 July 2018 01:41 (one year ago) link

No directions in space

devops mom (silby), Friday, 13 July 2018 01:52 (one year ago) link

imo the funniest part is when Poe finally learns more about the plan and he then immediately radios over to his friends ON A FIRST ORDER SHIP on an open channel and tells them what is up

like, jesus, no wonder no one wants to tell this guy anything

mh, Friday, 13 July 2018 01:59 (one year ago) link

I take that back, they were heading to a first order ship, stranger in tow, where they could be captured

mh, Friday, 13 July 2018 02:00 (one year ago) link

while i have some passing familiarity with military concepts like "chain of command" i'm not overall interested in shit like order of battle and i didn't go in to star wars looking to see a good war movie

this is why i don't believe in the notion of a "workmanlike" blockbuster - i think people have many different notions of what makes for a "good movie" and a successful blockbuster film needs to satisfy most or all of them

i think the backlash against tlj shows the impossibility of this. the things the backlashers expect to see out of a "star wars" film go beyond presumption - they run completely contrary to the requirements of a successful blockbuster film. this isn't limited to the right wing - the demands that the "doctor strange" film include a tibetan character and actor in a film that needed to make money from the chinese market were to some extent along the same lines - but this demand, while impractical, was not _unreasonable_. tlj backlashers are both - and the tlj backlash is by far more hateful and virulent than critics of "doctor strange".

a lot of these fans are still operating on the level of insinuation and suggestion, so let's bring it out into the open a little bit. there are a lot of fans who are mad about the consistently respectful and non-sexualized treatment of female characters in the film. they wanted to see daisy ridley in a harem girl outfit and chains and instead they got sexy shirtless hunk adam driver. i'm sorry, i know it looks like i'm strawmanning here because it's so ridiculous, but i'm not, this is what a significant subset of these fans actually want, and they're furious that they're not getting it. it goes beyond the level of "actually, a parsec is a measurement of distance" to an insult they cannot possibly accept the existence and legitimacy of.

yeah, i absolutely do believe the fight over star wars is symptomatic of the breakdown of a belief in the "common good", the breakdown of our common ability to recognize each other as, for lack of a better word, human, similar to the complete breakdown and subsequent realignment of every american institution along political lines in the 1850s.

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:00 (one year ago) link

...what?

El Tomboto, Friday, 13 July 2018 13:05 (one year ago) link

I think you will find that if you turn off your Blackberry and cast your eyes into the broader world beyond, the TLJ backlash magically disappears. Like, I'm only aware that anyone even cares about the movie one way or the other because of ILX threads.

Sgt. Laughter (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:28 (one year ago) link

But yes, it's possible to find insane people with insane nitpicks regarding anything under the sun if you dig deeply enough into the fetid loam of the intranetz.

Sgt. Laughter (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:30 (one year ago) link

i absolutely do believe the fight over star wars is symptomatic of the breakdown of a belief in the "common good"

this is absurd.

it's a hugely popular movie series and people always complained about it. people gave them so much shit for ROTJ, Ewoks, Death Star 2, etc. ditto with prequels. the series began as a take on b-movies, which were always known for being these silly movies you pick apart. nobody cares if you question to logic of a Roger Corman movie.

it has been a hugely popular movie series all over the world for decades. hundreds of millions of people will not agree on something 100%. they never had and they never will.

add in the current media infrastructure that profits from highlighting deplorables and turning every single facet of life into a culture war.

Hazy Maze Cave (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:43 (one year ago) link

i wish i could concur with y'all's positioning of the internet as a fundamentally imaginary space with no relevance to the wider world

btw adam your last sentence comes across as being fairly redolent of lugenpresse, i recommend you check yourself

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:51 (one year ago) link

It's not imaginary or irrelevant but it is largely ignorable and avoidable if you're inclined in that direction. Like, it certainly has a tangible impact on people's beliefs and behaviors but your proximity to the fringes might determine your perception of how extensive that impact really is.

Sgt. Laughter (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:54 (one year ago) link

If, for instance, I read a lot of far-right twitter reactions to TLJ, I might fail to realize that 999 out of 1000 people are completely unaware that far-right twitter reactions to TLJ even exist.

Sgt. Laughter (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:57 (one year ago) link

i spent most of 2016 ignoring maga chuds

it's true that i am a lifelong fringe-dwelling geek and that these things are probably more relevant to me than they are to anybody who isn't a fringe-dwelling geek

Arch Bacon (rushomancy), Friday, 13 July 2018 13:59 (one year ago) link

the normal people I know who don't read speculation about star wars movies on the internet got, at most, a viewing of the actual movie followed up by maybe seeing a couple "Fans angry about movie characters" headlines they browsed past but didn't read

this would include a few coworkers who have younger kids that are sitting around streaming the movie on netflix a bunch this week

mh, Friday, 13 July 2018 15:43 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

Luke da Ghost

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:31 (one year ago) link

Finding a truly satisfying conclusion to the Skywalker saga without her eluded us. We were never going to recast, or use a CG character. With the support and blessing from her daughter, Billie, we have found a way to honor Carrie’s legacy and role as Leia in Episode IX by using unseen footage we shot together in Episode VII.

Meh.

devops mom (silby), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:48 (one year ago) link

‘princess leia’s going to spend a surprising amount of time talking to her dog, asking her assistant to grab her a muffin from the craft services table, and telling dirty stories about harrison ford in episode 9’

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:51 (one year ago) link

Killing her in the opening crawl would've been totally fine but noooo we get Season 3 Tony Soprano's Mom

devops mom (silby), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:55 (one year ago) link

JJ Abrams has never made up anything in his life I'm pretty sure

devops mom (silby), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:56 (one year ago) link

yeah that was my first thought too :( xp

always a good idea to tortuously rewrite a script around the available words you have on the cutting room floor from a dead cast member than to find a more elegant solution

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 27 July 2018 20:57 (one year ago) link

A hack is rarely elegant.

An Uphill Battle For Legumes (Capitaine Jay Vee), Friday, 27 July 2018 21:01 (one year ago) link

I demand the other films get redubbed with Grant and McGann immediately.

pic.twitter.com/5Q304AohTV

— MichaelCoffee (@MichaelTCoffee) July 27, 2018

Ned Raggett, Friday, 27 July 2018 21:23 (one year ago) link

idk it's kinda impressive of JJ to basically say "what my bosses did to peter cushing in rogue one was sick and wrong"

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Friday, 27 July 2018 22:17 (one year ago) link

They said that immediately after her death, though - it's a line they've kept to since.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 27 July 2018 22:32 (one year ago) link

Rogue One would not have been the same without Tarkin. Now I would have been fine if they simply hired another actor but that's not the way these people think.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 27 July 2018 22:52 (one year ago) link

They should just reuse her footage from Catastrophe and have her being inexplicably vile to everyone.

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 27 July 2018 23:57 (one year ago) link

Richard E Grant as Great Miff Turkin

An Uphill Battle For Legumes (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 28 July 2018 00:37 (one year ago) link

Great Tuff Merkin

devops mom (silby), Saturday, 28 July 2018 00:42 (one year ago) link

Grand Withnailkin

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 28 July 2018 01:48 (one year ago) link

lol REG is the 2nd male Girls alumnus in the cast

can they get one of the 4 female leads to do Daphne Zuniga's 'i broke a nail' Spaceballs thing?

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 28 July 2018 01:54 (one year ago) link

I would 💯 see a Star War if it were Carrie Fisher outtakes from Catastrophe with BB-8 cgi'd in

16, 35, DCP, Go! (sic), Saturday, 28 July 2018 02:24 (one year ago) link

^^^

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Saturday, 28 July 2018 03:19 (one year ago) link

tarkin-mendelsohn stuff was mildly interesting in rogue one but not crucial and could have been done with some new character, grand moff icky for example. the cgi was distracting and the fact that they did it was creepy, bleah.

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Saturday, 28 July 2018 03:31 (one year ago) link

I’m starting to recognize the folly of having more than one thread for a franchise that spans more than ten movies and at least as many small screen spin-offs.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 28 July 2018 05:15 (one year ago) link

I understand what you're saying, but at the same time I think this is probably the best place to relitigate Ewoks: The Battle for Endor. I mean...Wilford Brimley? Really?

Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Saturday, 28 July 2018 07:31 (one year ago) link

He’s still available to reprise his role

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Saturday, 28 July 2018 13:18 (one year ago) link

How has no one mentioned that we get Lando

mh, Saturday, 28 July 2018 14:16 (one year ago) link

I thought that had been revealed several weeks ago. I knew about it, anyway. I hope I wasn't expected to spread the word. That would be really embarrassing.

Things To Do For Dinner When You're Dad (Old Lunch), Saturday, 28 July 2018 14:21 (one year ago) link

Throw in some scenes from Soapdish too, and I'm there

Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 28 July 2018 15:01 (one year ago) link

Maybe a couple scenes in bed with Bruno Kirby

Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 28 July 2018 15:02 (one year ago) link

I feel like this really needs to just be an R-rated Chewbacca-centric revenge flick where he just goes John Wick on the First Order, all the Knights of Ren and any other poor schmuck in between him and Kylo. I want him to go HAM offscreen like Terence Stamp in The Limey, and then roar threateningly at the one guy he intentionally lets live as a warning to the others.

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 July 2018 00:06 (one year ago) link

was going to say "would also watch" until I remembered this is still co-written & directed by JJ Abrams

16, 35, DCP, Go! (sic), Sunday, 29 July 2018 00:57 (one year ago) link

they made a murderous wookiee bounty hunter character in the comics and he’s everything you’d hope for as far as murderous wookiee fan service goes

mh, Sunday, 29 July 2018 01:02 (one year ago) link

I don’t want some rando Wookiee, I want Chewbacca to finally tear out some limb-from-limb justice for all the friends he’s watched die over 60-odd years of this far, far away galactic bullshit

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 July 2018 01:27 (one year ago) link

it's kinda sad that yoda, while stopping in as a force ghost in last jedi, didn't make time to go visit chewbacca too. "ahhhhh my old friend, i have never forgotten our time together" etc.

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:16 (one year ago) link

I forgot RotS pretty quickly, so I'm sure Yoda did too

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:22 (one year ago) link

we actually never know if he stops in on Chewbacca tbf, because we never spend enough time with Chewbacca in these freakin' movies

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:22 (one year ago) link

I feel like this really needs to just be an R-rated Chewbacca-centric revenge flick where he just goes John Wick on the First Order

For the purpose of exposition, Chewbacca in a starring role would require some tiresome character(s) constantly saying stuff like, "what's that Chewie? you want my light saber? but you don't know how to use one", just so there could be some kind of dialogue or character development other than Chewbacca roaring/ honking at everyone non-stop. Han Solo played that role in the first (now last) three films, but there has to be a limit to how much of that an audience would put up with.

Other than that little technical problem, it sounds like a great idea.

A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:31 (one year ago) link

tbf most all "grizzled wetwork operator goes on revenge tour" films tend to feature extremely taciturn protagonists pitted against cocksure kingpins who blather on and on, oblivious to their inevitable fate until the climax, so I dunno how much expository spoken-subtitling Chewie would need.

El Tomboto, Sunday, 29 July 2018 03:35 (one year ago) link

Yeah does John Wick have lines?

devops mom (silby), Sunday, 29 July 2018 04:10 (one year ago) link

About 460,000 results for does Chewbacca have a penis.

Roomba with an attitude (Sanpaku), Sunday, 29 July 2018 04:19 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

....and worlds collide.

https://variety.com/2018/film/news/star-wars-episode-ix-matt-smith-1202886507/

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 28 August 2018 18:18 (eleven months ago) link

there was a Doctor Who in the first Star Wars!

▫◌▫ (sic), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 19:56 (eleven months ago) link

phantom menace? who is it? ;-)

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Tuesday, 28 August 2018 20:06 (eleven months ago) link

And wasn't one of Empire's bounty hunters dressed up in an old Doctor Who costume as well?

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 01:55 (eleven months ago) link

Can someone please enlighten me as to which Dr. Who was in the OG Star Wars and who he played?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 02:45 (eleven months ago) link

Peter Cushing, who was in an unofficial/official Doctor Who movie or two in the sixties.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:04 (eleven months ago) link

He played Grand Moff Tarkin.

▫◌▫ (sic), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:10 (eleven months ago) link

Yes, but who did he play in Star Wars?

Blag Blingeeborp (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:12 (eleven months ago) link

He played Alec Guinness

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:14 (eleven months ago) link

Ok, I had no idea Peter Cushing played Dr. Who at one point.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:16 (eleven months ago) link

I was expecting it to be some random cantina alien or something

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:32 (eleven months ago) link

Well yes that also happened, Snaggletooth was I believe the Third Doctor.

Blag Blingeeborp (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 03:36 (eleven months ago) link

Yes, but who did he play in Star Wars?

― Blag Blingeeborp (Old Lunch), Wednesday, August 29, 2018 3:12 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

He played Alec Guinness

― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, August 29, 2018 3:14 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Actually Peter Cushing did play many games of holochess against Alec Guinness, while waiting between takes on the set of the Millennium Falcon.

Winner of the 2018 Great British Bae *cough* (ledge), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 08:01 (eleven months ago) link

captain kurk h8 klingons becos they kill his son

Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 29 August 2018 10:02 (eleven months ago) link

one month passes...

Funny. Many fair points. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f83D18xL7VE

piscesx, Sunday, 7 October 2018 18:54 (ten months ago) link

I am not going to watch an hour-long YouTube about a two-hour movie.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 8 October 2018 08:21 (ten months ago) link

plinkett reviews are generally really incisive tbf (if somewhat... problematic occasionally)

shrek and han solo kinda dress the same (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 8 October 2018 08:48 (ten months ago) link

i will never forgive you for exposing me to that comment section

nba jungboy (voodoo chili), Monday, 8 October 2018 13:19 (ten months ago) link

Holy shit I didn't realise it was Red Letter Media, gtfo here with that.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 8 October 2018 16:10 (ten months ago) link

Like, I was going to say that in the year of our lord 2018, I don't really want to watch something where the screengrab is a caricature of Comic Book Guy, whether the balance is praising or damning that straw man, I didn't realise it is the one site that tries to set both to 11.

Andrew Farrell, Monday, 8 October 2018 16:28 (ten months ago) link

I’ve never watched any of those rape-comedy review things but I guess at least they’re saving time by coming out before the movie now?

Shy Betting Mega Hit (sic), Monday, 8 October 2018 16:44 (ten months ago) link

I'll be impressed if that's their last Star Wars video because that shit brings the clicks like nothing else they do

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Monday, 8 October 2018 17:37 (ten months ago) link

RLM’s “Best of the Worst” videos, in which they they clown on obscure Z-Grade horror and action flicks, are sooooo much more entertaining than anything where they’re obligated to weigh in on mainstream sci-fi/superhero franchises.

latebloomer, Monday, 8 October 2018 18:56 (ten months ago) link

yeah, that's the only RLM that's worth a damn

closed beta (NotEnough), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 08:08 (ten months ago) link

the thing I mainly hate about these videos (besides the obvious) is that they really only criticize movies on a script level, and tend to treat screenwriting as the Alpha and Omega of filmmaking

wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 10:59 (ten months ago) link

plinkett feels like such an ancient unfunny meme at this point

princess of hell (BradNelson), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 11:59 (ten months ago) link

xp iirc their vids about the sw prequels were thoroughly damning on a lot of levels - script, story, characterisation, acting, scenery, blocking... like the key moment at the end of the phantom menace one where they asked random people to describe in a few words the characters of han solo & princess leia, which they did no problem; then asked to describe princess amidala & qui gon jinn the response was "... uh... "

Toss another shrimpl air on the bbqbbq (ledge), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 12:00 (ten months ago) link

'Sanjuro' for the latter!

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 12:05 (ten months ago) link

I love it when YouTube film critics use the word "retard" to complain about how movies represent disability

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 14:07 (ten months ago) link

"this fictional greasy nerd who has never heard of a shower and is obsessed with dressing down the star wars prequels and sequels definitely has bodies in his basement" = pure comedy

princess of hell (BradNelson), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 14:39 (ten months ago) link

four months pass...

Disney shareholders got to see the first Episode IX footage today. They just wrapped principal photography last month, so this is probably not effects heavy stuff.

https://scontent-msp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/54268460_314888339381251_3292474431070273536_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_ht=scontent-msp1-1.xx&oh=dd00a0a45259f2816aedbab4b2b7e795&oe=5D1A287E

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Thursday, 7 March 2019 18:41 (five months ago) link

I’m a Disney shareholder! Nobody invited me

moose; squirrel (silby), Thursday, 7 March 2019 18:44 (five months ago) link

damn, Kylo Ren is going to look at the Vader helmet

finally

Number None, Friday, 8 March 2019 16:22 (five months ago) link

phrasing

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Friday, 8 March 2019 21:50 (five months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Star Wars Twitter is abuzz with what appears to be a reliable leak of the Episode IX title, just two weeks before the panel for the movie at Star Wars Celebration.

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:03 (four months ago) link

All I can find is 'Skywalkers'.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 29 March 2019 17:10 (four months ago) link

The Milk of Human Kindness

The wettest sandwich you ever ate, guaranteed! (Old Lunch), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:11 (four months ago) link

It's not Grim Resignation?

jmm, Friday, 29 March 2019 17:13 (four months ago) link

that would be lame, so probably correct

silverfish, Friday, 29 March 2019 17:17 (four months ago) link

though I would hope it means that there will be a character named "Will"

silverfish, Friday, 29 March 2019 17:18 (four months ago) link

I was actually going to jokingly suggest Journal of the Whills so I sort of almost guessed one of the words, kind of.

The wettest sandwich you ever ate, guaranteed! (Old Lunch), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:18 (four months ago) link

Fitting title, probably a very good time to write a will for this tedious series

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:19 (four months ago) link

Awesome cast!

L-R

Snoke, GNK power droid, Maz, Salacious Crumb, Chewbacca, Wicket

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:27 (four months ago) link

Star Wars X: The Force of the Jedis
Star Wars XI: The Death Star of the Force
Star Wars XII: The Force Returns and Also the Empire Returns

Sorry for spoilers.

The wettest sandwich you ever ate, guaranteed! (Old Lunch), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:28 (four months ago) link

Birth Of A Jedi

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:34 (four months ago) link

i hope there's a jedi named will in this one

affects breves telnet (Gummy Gummy), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:38 (four months ago) link

title is kinda.................fascisty

Simon H., Friday, 29 March 2019 17:47 (four months ago) link

triumph of the will of the force

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:48 (four months ago) link

yes this is what i was getting at iirc

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 29 March 2019 17:50 (four months ago) link

Mein Kylo

a large tuna called “Justice” (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 29 March 2019 18:00 (four months ago) link

wtf.. that title?

i got *chills* tho dunno about anyone else.

piscesx, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:19 (four months ago) link

terible title, looks cool otherwise

pippin drives a lambo through the gates of isengard (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:30 (four months ago) link

Again with the Skywalkers

jmm, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:31 (four months ago) link

i'm on board for this one. good to see Lando, curious to see how they're going to handle the Carrie Fisher stuff, still a bummer that there won't be old Wedge in this series.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:31 (four months ago) link

starwa.rs/adzYW5DZoWs

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:32 (four months ago) link

I ALWAYS GET EXCITED FOR THE TRAILERS

Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:36 (four months ago) link

im glad they brought back billy dee...not super-thrilled about the title or that palpatine-esque laugh at the end. seems like jj is gonna be back to his shenanigans.

to halve and half not (voodoo chili), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:37 (four months ago) link

Rise of the anything should have been retired as an SF/Fantasy title a long time ago

pippin drives a lambo through the gates of isengard (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:37 (four months ago) link

they're trying to keep that R of the BLANK naming convention i guess, but it's super corny

to halve and half not (voodoo chili), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:38 (four months ago) link

w00t

the late great, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:52 (four months ago) link

have the SW titles ever been polled?

pippin drives a lambo through the gates of isengard (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:52 (four months ago) link

that was a good trailer

the late great, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:52 (four months ago) link

Damn, I was hoping I could come back for some belated Will of the Force clowning. Because if no one forces you to watch it, will you? Rise of the Skywalkers is such a bland kind of bad title.

☮ (peace, man), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:55 (four months ago) link

*Palpatine laugh*

How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?

jmm, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:55 (four months ago) link

That being said, yes the trailer has me mildly interested against every ounce of my better judgement.

☮ (peace, man), Friday, 12 April 2019 17:55 (four months ago) link

Rise of the Skywalkers is such a bland kind of bad title.

imo most of the SW series movie titles are "bad", we're just used to them.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:57 (four months ago) link

Return of the Tuppence

calstars, Friday, 12 April 2019 17:58 (four months ago) link

Again with the Skywalkers

― jmm, Friday, April 12, 2019 10:31 AM (twenty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:00 (four months ago) link

if JJ undoes Rian's legwork to make the Force actually make sense as a unity in duality and is just like "actually the light side is good and wins" I will be fanmad

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:00 (four months ago) link

w00t

― the late great, Friday, April 12, 2019 12:52 PM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

mh, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:12 (four months ago) link

apparently ian mcdiarmid actually took the stage at the convention immediately following the laughs at the end of the trailer and said "roll it again" in the ominous voice

mh, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:13 (four months ago) link

ian mcdiarmid was 39 when he played the emperor, mind-blowing

to halve and half not (voodoo chili), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:17 (four months ago) link

oh god the trailer SUUUUUUUUCKS

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:18 (four months ago) link

I mean whatever, it doesn't suck, there's just nothing compelling about this raft of movies. I can't stand Daisy Ridley's one-note acting. I can't stand JJ Abrams obsession with long shots of people breathing heavily. I can't stand the fan service stuff. This looks like an entertaining movie but not a good movie.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:31 (four months ago) link

i got no chills

xp tbf, what other notes has daisy ridley been given to play

mookieproof, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:32 (four months ago) link

ridley is good.

akm, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:36 (four months ago) link

though I think the character they gave to Felicity Jones in Rogue One was more interesting.

akm, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:37 (four months ago) link

looks like shit, bad title. I know people shit on the last one a lot because of the wonky plot but at least it had some visual flair.

Simon H., Friday, 12 April 2019 18:37 (four months ago) link

yes I think what she brings to the role (and what Driver is able to do with his as well) are what make the new series worth seeing.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:38 (four months ago) link

I guess it’s hard for me to tell how much of the weak characterization is her and how much is the writing or directing. But it’s definitely one note.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:47 (four months ago) link

I've accepted that all I really need out of these movies is to hear the classic foley fx on cinema speakers.

change display name (Jordan), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:47 (four months ago) link

canny wait

conrad, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:48 (four months ago) link

haven't seen title; is it Rise of Nude Kylo Ren?

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 12 April 2019 18:50 (four months ago) link

Rise and Fall, close

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 18:59 (four months ago) link

This one has to call back to Return of the Jedi and thus requires a gold underwear Kylo Ren.

jmm, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:00 (four months ago) link

I think it's a good trailer (and a terrible title), but it's a J.J. Abrams Star Wars film - I'll save my breathlessness for the Rian Johnson ones upcoming.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:01 (four months ago) link

ha ha, that looks dumb as shit (not least for how weird scope feels in a youtube window)

was Lando in Force Awakens or is Abrams bringing him back now for nerdservice bcz too many other characters are dead? that said, grrooooosssss at using CGI Fisher. Catastrophe got by without it, you cowards.

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:02 (four months ago) link

pretty sure they (and the Fisher family) said any footage of Carrie was gonna be deleted stuff shot for the last movie tbf

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:13 (four months ago) link

Apparently it's footage shot for TLJ?

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:13 (four months ago) link

Rejected titles:

Skywalker Rising
Arise, SkyWalkers!
Skywalker Has Risen, Amen

akm, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:14 (four months ago) link

it is not CGI Fisher

CGI Fisher would have been great in Catastrophe though

akm, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:14 (four months ago) link

kylo’s helmet getting welded back together doesn’t bode well for abrams letting any changes johnson made in ep 8 slide

not that johnson actually followed through on any of the really interesting or surprising stuff he hinted towards, right enough

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:16 (four months ago) link

The Skywalkers

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:22 (four months ago) link

I always thought "Will of the Force" sounded like a sitcom about a jedi kid named Will. So why not "The Skywalkers"?

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:23 (four months ago) link

Shhhh... Disney+ can hear you.

Johnny Fever, Friday, 12 April 2019 19:39 (four months ago) link

it is not CGI Fisher

CGI Fisher would have been great in Catastrophe though

Fisher was never hanging out in a lush verdant forest in Last Jedi iirc, p sure they're CGIing her cut footage into new scenes

I'm totally down for her to be played throughout by a back-of-the-head double with dialogue stitched together from old audio though

REY: Thank you for leading us to safety, General Organa! The nine minutes I've spent in your company are the most profound experience of my life! [hugs]
LEIA: My voice is my passport. Verify me.

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:44 (four months ago) link

not that johnson actually followed through on any of the really interesting or surprising stuff he hinted towards, right enough

Johnson's movie takes place in about two days of movie time and seemed to wrap up everything it was telling - not knowing the previous movie maybe meant I missed lots of "surprising" stuff, but what did you think could have been followed through upon?

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 19:53 (four months ago) link

lol sic

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:07 (four months ago) link

"Aren't you a little short for a--JEDI"

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:07 (four months ago) link

I look forward to the 700 one-star reviews of the movie that will come out prior to the movie comes out

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:10 (four months ago) link

Johnson's movie takes place in about two days of movie time and seemed to wrap up everything it was telling - not knowing the previous movie maybe meant I missed lots of "surprising" stuff, but what did you think could have been followed through upon?


johnson has some cool iconoclastic ideas, the potential of which ultimately don’t end up being delivered on imo

eg it feints towards kylo turning away from the dark side or rey turning towards it after snoke is killed, either of which would have been more interesting than the good guy / bad guy dynamic being almost immediately re-established

it makes a big deal of literally burning down the last remnants of the jedi order, which is undercut at the end by the jedi library being stashed in the falcon

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:18 (four months ago) link

Expecting the final shots of Fisher to be as crackly blue hologram as Leia rises to...the occasion thus honouring the film's title because what other explanation for it could there even be.

nashwan, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:19 (four months ago) link

I look forward to the 700 one-star reviews of the movie that will come out prior to the movie comes out

vs 70,000 proudbro declarations that they got their star war back based on the title and that final laugh alone

nashwan, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:24 (four months ago) link

it makes a big deal of literally burning down the last remnants of the jedi order, which is undercut at the end by the jedi library being stashed in the falcon

my read on this is: symbolism, ritual, reverence are destroyed; the order is destroyed; knowledge is preserved

it feints towards kylo turning away from the dark side or rey turning towards it after snoke is killed

the latter could be cool in a "top the ESB cliffhanger" way but the former would be a disaster because the prospect of another jj abrams star wars movie is grim enough without "also adam driver isn't the villain anymore". nevertheless, to me, that these two characters, whose common ground is a desperation to transcend star wars, would (ironically) have violently opposed visions of what a post-star-wars star wars universe would look like, or of how to prevent it from relapsing into star wars, makes more sense than that one would now become the other's right hand. they prob will in the third one anyway tho cuz yeah none of this is going to be coherently followed up.

difficult listening hour, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:30 (four months ago) link

that trailer is just shots of things i recognize intercut with captions telling the third generation in a row that every generation has a star war. difficult to argue i guess

difficult listening hour, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:33 (four months ago) link

into every generation, a star is warn.

☮ (peace, man), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:36 (four months ago) link

Oh Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars, give me those Star Wars, don’t let them end

calstars, Friday, 12 April 2019 20:37 (four months ago) link

vs 70,000 proudbro declarations that they got their star war back based on the title and that final laugh alone

― nashwan, Friday, April 12, 2019 4:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Proudbros beat up Star Wars fans

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:41 (four months ago) link

it makes a big deal of literally burning down the last remnants of the jedi order, which is undercut at the end by the jedi library being stashed in the falcon

yeah, dlh otm: hidebound clinging to totems and traditions for the sake of traditions is stupid and retards development. texts can still be studied and reinterpreted in ways that fit a new world. take note, crybaby fanboys!

eg it feints towards kylo turning away from the dark side or rey turning towards it after snoke is killed, either of which would have been more interesting than the good guy / bad guy dynamic being almost immediately re-established

this was just deepening the relationship between them - they found common ground, they are a new generation of The Force or whatever, but the weight of their and Star Wars' histories means they can't repair the damage of tradition in a matter of seconds in the heat of battle. maybe they will forge a new union in the future, in the next film, when Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow write it! what a fun thing to leave for the next pairs of hands on the series to have the option to play with.

(but just in case, lets also put in an ending clearly showing that this good / bad, Rebel / Empire dichotomy and hereditary power structure does not have to be the way things carry on in the Star Wars universe)

it also fits that the entitled manbaby wants to carry on throwing his destructive ego-tantrum for the rest of the film: Johnson is giving him the chance to learn (or not) from his own actions, not be magically cured by the power of wuv.

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 20:57 (four months ago) link

^^^^

at the end kylo is the villain because in the moment of freedom and possibility when everything can be reinterpreted and remade he decides the right way forward is to gather all power to himself. this is a much more thorough way of being a space fascist than "i work for gollum and i had darth vader sheets" so it's a big step forward for the character even if he doesn't move at all.

being left with the pairing of driver+gleeson as emotionally+ideologically committed dictator and congenital screaming toady-- now well-understood as characters and freed of all commitments to mystery-box superior officers or extratextual "lore" mumbojumbo-- was so promising that lol of course they're now promising us the emperor.

difficult listening hour, Friday, 12 April 2019 21:13 (four months ago) link

(tldr I agree with sic / dlh)

The purpose of the burning of the remnant was its effect on Luke not Rey, though.

I thought TLJ left the possibility of either of Rey and Kylo turning as very open for the third - where it will probably be squandered. It was similar to the bit we didn't see where one film ends up with Luke learning that his father fell to the dark side, and the next starting with Luke turning up dressed in black and force-choking fools.

I think I'm probably stepping on nashwan's joke here, but I do fear that the mighty JJ Abrams "brain" has in mind a switch where it's not Kylo Ren but Rey that's rising because one of her parents was actually a Skywalker too!

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 21:17 (four months ago) link

Welp glad we know the movie sucks now

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:22 (four months ago) link

The purpose of the burning of the remnant was its effect on Luke not Rey, though.

yes, Luke is freed by it, because he was the only one holding onto the totems. we saw his world opened and mind changed by exposure to the knowledge when he was a kid 40 years ago, but now he's stunted himself by choosing to cling sadly to the shape of something familiar, rather than continuing to see the benefit of opening his mind to new ideas.

again, it make u think

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:29 (four months ago) link

Welp glad we know the movie sucks now

JJ Abrams was announced as taking over on 6th September 2017

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:30 (four months ago) link

CGI Vincent Price for the laugh at the end there.

Good cop, Babcock (Chinaski), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:32 (four months ago) link

into every generation, a star is warn.

― ☮ (peace, man), Friday, April 12, 2019 3:36 PM (fifty-five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nicely done

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:34 (four months ago) link

Fwiw, it's got Lando and Chewy and I really like Rey and Finn so I'm in.

Good cop, Babcock (Chinaski), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:35 (four months ago) link

I will go to the cinema and watch it with my kids and it will be slightly better than some other films I could watch with them, this is all I hope for

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:39 (four months ago) link

Obviously the title refers to all the little Skywalker children that Luke left scattered across the galaxy.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:48 (four months ago) link

my Luke absolutely doesn't fuck

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:51 (four months ago) link

he doesn’t need to, his midichlorians roam free across the galaxy looking to find purchase and reach fruition

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 21:54 (four months ago) link

Lol at anyone paying attention to this nonsense in 2019.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:01 (four months ago) link

/Shakey

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:01 (four months ago) link

o shit the cool kid’s here

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:02 (four months ago) link

maybe they will forge a new union in the future, in the next film, when Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow write it!

tbf you may be selling short the contributions of the only writer in common between Superman vs Batman and Justice League.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:05 (four months ago) link

Desperately trying to think of a not-sucking way a film titled 'Rise of Skywalker' could go. Rey being a Skywalker anyway would of course be the worst, but a redemption of Kylo Ren would be awful as well. And Palpatine might be back? This sounds like it could be awful.

Frederik B, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:06 (four months ago) link

Keep holding out hope. Maybe the next one will be good.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:24 (four months ago) link

the only writer in common between

I was not aware of this, but to be fair, considering that Johnson began shooting his completed script 19 months before Mr Terrio replaced Connolly and Trevorrow on its successor, neither was he

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:25 (four months ago) link

Is there a Death Star in this one? You have like a 50% chance that there is.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:25 (four months ago) link

Maybe the next one will be good.

since it is likely to be a continuity-free movie by Johnson, it may!

blokes you can't rust (sic), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:28 (four months ago) link

It looks like there's a piece of blown-up Death Star. They should probably blow it up again to be safe.

jmm, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:30 (four months ago) link

Is there a Death Star in this one? You have like a 50% chance that there is.

― Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), 13. april 2019 00:25 (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Palpatine is finally getting it operational this time! Just you wait and see.

Frederik B, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:30 (four months ago) link

Maybe the desert planet is just Endor after the ecological devastation of having a planetoid explode just outside its upper atmosphere

Glower, Disruption & Pies (kingfish), Friday, 12 April 2019 22:42 (four months ago) link

anyone mention yet that apparently most of the Carrie Fisher footage is leftover from the last Abrams film, not TLJ, at least according to Abrams’

so that cut of her crying and hugging Ridley’s character is repurposed from the post-Han Solo death resolution, presumably

mh, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:54 (four months ago) link

obviously Palpatine’s remains fell to the planet with the rest of the death star mk. 2 debris and he’s grafted himself a new body out of ewok parts

mh, Friday, 12 April 2019 22:56 (four months ago) link

The line about how they’re never really gone when they die makes me think palpatine might return but it would be as a force ghost.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 23:17 (four months ago) link

We’ve only had benevolent force ghosts to date but a naughty trickster like palps, not yet.

omar little, Friday, 12 April 2019 23:18 (four months ago) link

For the fifth goddamn time in a row now I have to ask: when the fuck is Lumpy joining the action? Christmas special was such a goddamn tease, I swear...

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 00:05 (four months ago) link

MR. JOHNSON, I'M READY FOR MY TRILOGY

https://orion-uploads.openroadmedia.com/md_aa3e0ead5b78-starwarsholiday.jpg

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 00:09 (four months ago) link

a rian johnson trilogy entirely in wookie speak take my money

american bradass (BradNelson), Saturday, 13 April 2019 00:15 (four months ago) link

the laugh reminded me of andross’ in star fox 64

k3vin k., Saturday, 13 April 2019 01:18 (four months ago) link

I really thought TLJ was just OK but the endless whining about it from both plot pedants and sexist jerks makes me wish I liked it more

Simon H., Saturday, 13 April 2019 01:27 (four months ago) link

it was really good imo

k3vin k., Saturday, 13 April 2019 02:45 (four months ago) link

mostly due to driver and the luke arc

k3vin k., Saturday, 13 April 2019 02:45 (four months ago) link

the camera work, new take on force cave introspection, and Yoda dialogue sold TLJ and lots of bits were extra gravy

I was probably one of the most actives posters on the first Star Wars new trilogy thread for the force awakens and I’m probably bowing out, outside of posting dumb ideas that seem whimsical. Years go by faster with age and i’m guessing I’ll blink and we’ll be at December. Godspeed, you rebels

mh, Saturday, 13 April 2019 03:51 (four months ago) link

Maybe the desert planet is just Endor after the ecological devastation of having a planetoid explode just outside its upper atmosphere

yeah after reading Seveneves I remember thinking "oh shit, that means the forest moon of Endor was probably obliterated by Death Star II debris, bright side they could do a Jurassic Park reboot where future Endorians recreate Ewoks from ancient DNA and they run amok and kill everyone"

the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Saturday, 13 April 2019 07:10 (four months ago) link

I hate Star Wars mania passionately and thought Ep VIII was mostly good

this one will be the last I ever see and i'm fine w/ that

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 April 2019 07:22 (four months ago) link

why would you even see this one, Doc

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 09:41 (four months ago) link

btw lol @ jj

Y'ALL. #StarWars pic.twitter.com/nnCuKbaaiA

— Andrew Heiss, PhD (@andrewheiss) April 12, 2019

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 09:41 (four months ago) link

why would you even see this one, Doc

btw this is a sincere question for Morbs, no shade at ppl who see all of these no matter who makes them or how much they suck: I’ve seen 26 fuckin’ James Bond movies

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 10:49 (four months ago) link

why would you even see this one, Doc

btw this is a sincere question to Morbs, no shade at ppl who see all of these no matter who makes ‘em or how much they suck: I’ve seen 26 fuckin’ James Bond movies

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 10:50 (four months ago) link

Honestly, though, how much fun would the discussion be if they were all unimpeachably amazing

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 14:38 (four months ago) link

the worst thing bout star wars now is feverishly hot takes on what scalded star wars bros will take issue with

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Saturday, 13 April 2019 16:40 (four months ago) link

just imagining the collective groans in the cinema when we get to the Rey vs. TIE Fighter bullfighting in the desert sequence and she completely whiffs with the lightsaber

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:12 (four months ago) link

^^ This is why I've seen all the recent SW and Marvel things at smaller theatres out in the suburbs or someehing, usually days or a week after the films open. Black Panther is a recent exception. I can't deal with the vocal uber fans "awwww"-ing every time a character dies or "wooohooo" -ing whenever someone pops up on onscreen. No, I don't "hate fun" but I really hate overtly vocal expressions of fandom. Makes me cringe. Cosplayers as well.

Carly Jae Vespen (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:22 (four months ago) link

I went to Dark Knight on opening night and this guy in the crowd timed a loud fart right as the movie started

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:26 (four months ago) link

Actually saw Force Awakens In NYC on its opening night and -- yeah --- that was it.

Carly Jae Vespen (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:27 (four months ago) link

xpost lollll

Carly Jae Vespen (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:27 (four months ago) link

It me.

Carly Jae Vespen (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:27 (four months ago) link

they all arrive at the dunes across from the Death Star debris and go "wow, look at that!" and then carry on to their intended destination: another bar scene

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:29 (four months ago) link

droids keep getting smaller while lightsabers, like hairdryers, remain stuck in the same form factor as they were in the 70s

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:33 (four months ago) link

the lando and chewie bit is actually the first time the post-credits scene has been used in a teaser trailer; JJ still has some tricks up his sleeve, you see

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:35 (four months ago) link

Did he shoot from a script this time or is this gonna be another movie written in the edit bay

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Saturday, 13 April 2019 18:38 (four months ago) link

Which Beastie Boys song will he play in this one (my money is on 'Girls')

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 19:40 (four months ago) link

(Probably played over the climactic Rey/Ren fight in lieu of the same old John Williams snoozeage)

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Saturday, 13 April 2019 19:42 (four months ago) link

Which Beastie Boys song will he play in this one (my money is on 'Girls')

Whills! to keep a journal
Whills! to study the Force
Whills! That's all I really want, is Whills
two at a time, I want Whills
defying oblivion through compassion, I want Whills

blokes you can't rust (sic), Saturday, 13 April 2019 21:15 (four months ago) link

ridin cross the land
kickin up sand
first order's on my tail because i'm in demand

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 13 April 2019 21:18 (four months ago) link

one lonely bb-8 i be
all by myself without nobody
the sun is beatin down on my spherical DOME
i have no diegetic function, i wanna go HOME

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 13 April 2019 21:22 (four months ago) link

you cant you wont you dont HOTH

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Saturday, 13 April 2019 22:10 (four months ago) link

I'm kinda trying to do something with egg man here but it doesn't seem to need any changes

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 April 2019 23:03 (four months ago) link

the first few lines are about Lobot iirc

omar little, Saturday, 13 April 2019 23:04 (four months ago) link

Excuse me, I have to go pitch a Beasties-scored Lobot movie to Disney real quick.

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 April 2019 01:06 (four months ago) link

Egg Raid on Lobot

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 14 April 2019 01:16 (four months ago) link

Lololol

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 14 April 2019 02:59 (four months ago) link

Vader will show up in this one surely.

chap, Sunday, 14 April 2019 19:33 (four months ago) link

Jar Jar please

findom haddie (jim in vancouver), Sunday, 14 April 2019 19:40 (four months ago) link

Mace Windau

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Sunday, 14 April 2019 19:54 (four months ago) link

I wonder if Force Ghost Luke will finally get those power converters he was supposed to pick up forever ago.

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 April 2019 22:44 (four months ago) link

Toshi Station has his picture behind the counter lest any of their clerks ever gets suckered into ordering shit that some fershlugginer Skywalker won't ever wind up paying for.

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 April 2019 22:47 (four months ago) link

I wasn't sure I was spelling Toshi Station correctly but I looked it up and my spelling was 100% correct. Whew!

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 April 2019 23:46 (four months ago) link

change thread title to Egg Raid On Lobot imo

blokes you can't rust (sic), Monday, 15 April 2019 07:26 (four months ago) link

Since I didn't go to Star Wars Celebration this year for the first time since 2012, I've been at home this weekend watching all the livestreams and stuff. Not a lot was revealed during the Episode IX panel aside from the title, some stills (new costumes, Naomi Ackie's new character, Rose and Rey talking in what appears to be a Resistance base, etc.). But yeah, I was watching when the Ian McDiarmid thing happened, and the room went pretty insane.

Also watched the livestreams for the upcoming new "The Mandalorian" show, which actually looks pretty good. The sizzle reel and trailer that were shown were blacked out on the stream, but they've leaked to Reddit and some other places. (Recap and photos at https://www.starwars.com/news/swcc-2019-9-things-we-learned-from-the-mandalorian-panel) They're using a lot of practical and in-camera effects and models, and the actors are doing a lot of their own stunts.

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:05 (four months ago) link

Anyway

https://i.imgur.com/8AKM3n7.jpg

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:07 (four months ago) link

With the return of the Emperor, can Luuke Skywalker be far behind?

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:08 (four months ago) link

well they have to establish Jorus C'baoth first

and we'll need to know about his teenage years

Number None, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:11 (four months ago) link

not related to the new movie, but got a bit of a scare when I went to look up Boushh on Wookiepedia the other day and was met with a distressingly short article. https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Boushh

Fortunately, I realized that they had divided each page into Canon and Legends tabs: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Boushh/Legends

"Legends" is obviously where the ridiculousness lives.

☮ (peace, man), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:11 (four months ago) link

Episode IX trailer would have been better with Billy Dee's laugh in place of Palpatine's

jmm, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:15 (four months ago) link

Only the Legends are real imo.

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:16 (four months ago) link

agreed

Number None, Monday, 15 April 2019 13:17 (four months ago) link

With the return of the Emperor, can Luuke Skywalker be far behind?

does abrams have the stones to bring this epoch-spanning, generation-spanning series to a close with the epic reveal of mark hamill playing his own evil clone? only time will tell

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:20 (four months ago) link

If JJ cannot be persuaded, perhaps we will have to enlist the services of JJJJ.

Oold Lunch (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:29 (four months ago) link

j jonah jameson... junior?

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:29 (four months ago) link

JJ Abra'ams

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:36 (four months ago) link

guys what if jj abrams is the evil twin of j abrams

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:37 (four months ago) link

jj bottom

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:38 (four months ago) link

OMG, it would be the dumbest and most beautiful thing in the world if like Chewbaca and IG-8 and Jar Binks suddenly showed up out of nowhere to confront the clones that had replaced them years earlier.

Oold Lunch (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 13:59 (four months ago) link

jj binks

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Monday, 15 April 2019 14:21 (four months ago) link

keyser_soze_reveal.gif

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 14:23 (four months ago) link

jean-jaude jan jamme

american bradass (BradNelson), Monday, 15 April 2019 14:29 (four months ago) link

btw Gina Carano being so excited about being in the SW universe is absolutely freakin adorable

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHuLZvCnEfo

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 15:16 (four months ago) link

Carl Weathers too, actually

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 15:16 (four months ago) link

Action Jaxxon

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Monday, 15 April 2019 16:18 (four months ago) link

Please don't tease.

Oold Lunch (Old Lunch), Monday, 15 April 2019 16:21 (four months ago) link

I'm watching the Episode I 20th anniversary panel while I'm at work, and based on that and an interview with Ahmed Best on the show floor yesterday (this is his first appearance at a convention), Lucas was prescient about one thing - the kids who grew up with Jar Jar love him. Who knew.

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Monday, 15 April 2019 17:33 (four months ago) link

yeah, kids definitely like all kinds of stupid crap

Number None, Monday, 15 April 2019 18:15 (four months ago) link

eg star wars

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 18:16 (four months ago) link

quite

Number None, Monday, 15 April 2019 18:17 (four months ago) link

Lucas was prescient about one thing - the kids who grew up with Jar Jar love him. Who knew.
Well, the kids who grew up with the Ewoks (such as me) love them, whereas AFAIK a lot of people who saw RotJ as teens or adults hate them. So is it surprising if the same happened with Jar Jar? Or with any cutesy sidekick in a family-friendly franchise, really?

Tuomas, Tuesday, 16 April 2019 08:23 (four months ago) link

But the Ewoks were cute. And competant!

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 08:25 (four months ago) link

Ewoks weren't stepping in dogshit and tripping over their own body parts. They were expert hunters and warriors.

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 08:26 (four months ago) link

people who hate the ewoks are just displacing their guilt over america's instigation of innumerable wars of imperialist aggression

this is canon

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 08:59 (four months ago) link

The saddest part in any Star War is when an Ewok tries to wake up his mate who's been killed by a laser.

chap, Tuesday, 16 April 2019 11:40 (four months ago) link

This is true, yeah.

Tuomas, Tuesday, 16 April 2019 11:53 (four months ago) link

star war is hell

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 11:56 (four months ago) link

xxp: definitely.

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 12:07 (four months ago) link

I would've gone with 'Jedi Rocks' as the saddest moment but I guess I can see where y'all are coming from.

A Cheetah Drenched in Applesauce (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 16 April 2019 12:23 (four months ago) link

Star Wars Episode 7 The Rise of Skywalker. The Emperor lives.

— Gabriel Garcia (@GabbyG41) November 22, 2012

EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 16 April 2019 20:56 (four months ago) link

https://youtu.be/LAf0QnLFS7Q

Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Wednesday, 17 April 2019 02:59 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

Vanity Fair's Episode IX issue is out, as always with these issues including a photo shoot by Annie Liebovitz.

Cover story: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/05/star-wars-cover-story

Photo gallery: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/photos/2019/05/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-exclusive-photos

Who Are the Knights of Ren? https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/05/star-wars-the-knights-of-ren-make-their-long-awaited-return

Plinka Trinka Banga Tink (Eliza D.), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 13:54 (two months ago) link

Composer John Williams conducting the Star Wars score, drawing on themes and motifs he has woven across four decades. “I didn’t think there would ever be a second film,” he says.

i like to imagine he said that with a long, drawn-out sigh of grim resignation

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 13:59 (two months ago) link

They don’t do it that way because it’s easy. Abrams and his crew had to build miles of road into the desert. They basically had to set up a small town out there, populated by the cast and extras and crew—the creature-effects department alone had 70 people. The Jordanian military got involved. The Jordanian royal family got involved. There was sand. It was coarse and rough and irritating and it got everywhere.

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:08 (two months ago) link

“This trilogy is about this young generation, this new generation, having to deal with all the debt that has come before,” Abrams says.

otm

jmm, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:11 (two months ago) link

He needed Leia to tell the story, but Abrams didn’t feel like a digital Carrie Fisher could do the job, and there was no way Lucasfilm was going to re-cast the role.

But then a strange thing happened. Abrams remembered that there was some footage of Fisher left over from The Force Awakens, scenes that had been changed or cut entirely, and he dug them up. “It’s hard to even talk about it without sounding like I’m being some kind of cosmic spiritual goofball,” Abrams says, “but it felt like we suddenly had found the impossible answer to the impossible question.” He started to write scenes around the old footage, fitting Leia’s dialogue into new contexts. He re-created the lighting to match the way Fisher had been lit. Bit by bit, she found her place in the new movie. “It was a bizarre kind of left side/right side of the brain sort of Venn diagram thing, of figuring out how to create the puzzle based on the pieces we had.”

i have a bad feeling about this

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:14 (two months ago) link

if there's one thing abrams is known for, it's his uncanny ability to successfully navigate and resolve narrative puzzles

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:15 (two months ago) link

lol Zorri Bliss
another nice costume tho

shit I forgot Richard E Grant signed up

nashwan, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:44 (two months ago) link

“There’s a loss of innocence, a sense of innocence that existed in the 70s that I don’t think to any extent exists today,” Kennedy says. “I think that has to permeate the storytelling and the reaction to the stories and how they’re set up. It has to feel differently because we’re different.”

At the end of May, Disneyland will open Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, a massive, 14-acre, $1 billion attraction where you can fly the Millennium Falcon, be captured by the First Order, and drink a blue milk cocktail (it’s actually nondairy) and Coca-Cola products out of exclusive BB-8-shaped bottles at the cantina.

jmm, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 14:56 (two months ago) link

Disney presumably using the proceeds to commission all those experimental films George Lucas now finally has time to make

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 15:09 (two months ago) link

Ah yes, the famous post-Vietnam-&-Watergate innocence.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 15:11 (two months ago) link

xp since they own LucasFilm lock, stock, and barrel he'll presumably be creating GeorgeFilm and shopping his new work around to multiple distributors

mh, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 15:22 (two months ago) link

(it’s actually nondairy)

this is the lost innocence part

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 22 May 2019 18:23 (two months ago) link

It is however a heavily-dyed beef slurry.

5 favrite kind of animal. jaguar. giraffe. (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 18:30 (two months ago) link

I refuse to drink it if I don't get to fill a bottle from the teat of a weird sea creature,

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 22 May 2019 19:04 (two months ago) link

Ah yes, the famous post-Vietnam-&-Watergate innocence.


Yeah. Stupid way to put it. Should have said kids now are more jaded from content over-saturation or something.

And yet maybe more open to something like the garish theme park than people of that generation would have been?

beard papa, Thursday, 23 May 2019 16:52 (two months ago) link

well, innocent in that those things still seemed like relative outliers in the historical landscape for many people and not, like, a tuesday

mh, Thursday, 23 May 2019 16:54 (two months ago) link

“There’s a loss of innocence, a sense of innocence that existed in the 70s that I don’t think to any extent exists today,” Kennedy says.

check out the juxtaposition of the quote and who said the quote

recriminations from the nitpicking woke (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 23 May 2019 17:01 (two months ago) link

haha

mh, Thursday, 23 May 2019 17:06 (two months ago) link

Kennedy graduated from Shasta High School in Redding, California, in 1971.

On October 30, 2012, she became the president of Lucasfilm after The Walt Disney Company acquired the company for over $4 billion.

mh, Thursday, 23 May 2019 17:07 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

Stupid fan theory as likely as any here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzeOrA2in1c

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 22:58 (one month ago) link

is anyone even going to care about star wars beyond this one

ciderpress, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 23:09 (one month ago) link

That leads to his crazy fan theory!

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 23:12 (one month ago) link

I’m not gonna watch a video to find out what the crazy theory is, and I don’t really care about the conclusion to the Skywalker Saga. I’m only interested in Star Wars movies directed by Rian Johnson from now on

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 02:18 (one month ago) link

It's a funny video. Anyway, crazy fan theory (only partly tongue in cheek) is that having hit a narrative dead-end, JJ Abrams and the writer (who did Batman V Superman and Justice League, double ugh) will just dive in and go time travel. Their two big predictions, based on next to nothing but instinct, is that 1) Luke will return more powerful than ever a la Gandolf, and that 2) stopping the bad guy from doing the thing will involve going back in time. Who knows? Who cares?

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 02:31 (one month ago) link

The correct spelling is Ganondorf.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 05:46 (one month ago) link

Ganondorfongolf.

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 06:30 (one month ago) link

I was reading on my phone, so I didn't even realise it was a RLM video - get the fuck out of here with that!

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 07:08 (one month ago) link

Are they bad? What happened? I liked all their other Star Wars stuff.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 11:53 (one month ago) link

What will the stars do with their time when they are no longer at war?

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:15 (one month ago) link

(It just occurred to me that they put Death Stars in 85% of these movies to make the series title something more than a vague reference to space battles.)

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:17 (one month ago) link

What will the heroes do with their time when they are no longer at war with the (Death) Stars?

Logy Psycho (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:17 (one month ago) link

They should make a sequel from the perspective of the Death Star.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:53 (one month ago) link

Yes Planet Wars would be a more accurate name for the franchise.

chap, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:53 (one month ago) link

Or 'Planet Fights'.

chap, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 12:59 (one month ago) link

Astroid Grudge

akm, Wednesday, 17 July 2019 13:01 (one month ago) link

Kylo Ren tearfully visits the gravesite of millions of fallen Death Stars, taken before their time.

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 15:28 (one month ago) link

Speaker for the Death

Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Wednesday, 17 July 2019 15:35 (one month ago) link


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