Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated.

allison r0x0rs.
fuk yesh.

*i might add that this is actually possible this year, unlike others, altho why anyone would actually want to do so is beyond any of us.

Anyhow: let's recap shall we?

Okay:
the official reasons for hating him as provided by ILM:

• - "The timbre of Dave's voice is often extraordinarily ugly. He sounds like he's trying to form all of his vowels with the roof of his mouth." (aka "he sounds like a muppet")
  
• - "The fiddle-timbre of the violin grates against the horns, making it nigh-impossible for them to play in tune together."
  
• - "Their songs register to my ears as very safe. They never take any extreme or unpredictable turns; in fact, you could probably find the basic chord progressions of most of the songs in a second-semester theory class. I understand that a huge reason for this is to give a solid foundation on which to solo, but the solos don't sparkle or impress."
  
• - "I've never heard them let their bass player get seriously ill. Given how great I think their bass player might be, this is criminal."
  
• - Some of his lyrics (especially the "lift your skirt and show me your world") strike some as dumb, irksome or even sexist.
  
• - Overexposure has made him so ubiquitous that he's no longer novel or fresh.
  
• - He lifts the vibe from other more talented bands, and adds screechy violin as the only signifier of difference.
  
• - His fast songs are ones that would sound better slow. His slow songs would sound better fast.
  
• - All of his songs nowadays sound (to me, at least) to just be murkier, smudgier, less interesting retreads of "Ants Marching"; (The Same way everything by Live sounds like a murkier, smudgier, less interesting retreads of "The Beauty of Gray".)

the offical reasons for loving him as provided by the DMB fanbase:

• - Dave r0x0r! u r all gay!
  
• - U R All Gay! Dave r0x0r!
  
• - If you were to actually HEAR his music you'd like it.

Note: I didn't say "Pain Lies on the Riverside"...and this is tragic. If they just stuck to making retreads of "Pain Lies on the Riverside", they'd still suck, but they'd have been 1000x better.)

(if ever run into a hepburn relative i'll pose the question to them, and we'll see! moist+chewy vs. jerkyish+flakey!!!)

now, what's all this about the groovey hate fuck going away?

if it weren't the case i would've surely nominated him as captain of this thread...
Nominate me? For Captain? BAH! I'm already LORD of this thread, by Divine Right!

...since he obviously cares for it so deeply.
I love all threads equally, like my own children.
I still wait for the Meaning of Life to be revealed in this thread.

But it does, Blanche, it does exist.

Foil.... Custos'.... evil.... pla---a---a---aaah!

[THUD]

*comic book guy voice* "Oh dear, I've wasted my life"

OMG! Can U Diggit?
Jay-Z / Nas hip-hop throw down? & other throw-downs? (2 new answers, 1279 total, last at 6:08 am)
Dave Matthews Band : Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated. (75 new answers, 1296 total, last at 10:40 am)
Quick, somebody add 23 new posts to the Jay-Z/Nas Thread!

That is all.

Like, "bitch-ass faggot punk-ass muthafuckas", only stretched out several lines in length.

There. That oughtta bring the pro-DMB crowds back.
Maybe they'll actually try to rebut the Dave Haytas Complaints with something other that "U R All Gay" type comments.*

example number 47 of this: north korea

But anyhow...back to the debate (even though DMB Fan 1100 will probably never ever read this.)

It's you lot who replied with all the U R All Gay type comments.
False. The ILM only starting making U R All Gay jokes after multiple accusations of being Creed/Slipknot fans. That was hurtful. It perfectly A-OK to be be Gay, but unforgivable in the eyes of God to be a fan of Creed.

Your hatred of the last great american band is blind.
Lets overlook the ambiguity of the grammar (is the last great american band blind?) and dissect the accusation:
I'd like to think that the future holds an undending plethora of Great American Bands, many of whom have not even formed yet. So they are hardly the "Last";
The consensus is that the lead singer sounds like a (muppet|donkey) and the fiddle is a shapeless din. So they are hardly "Great";
I'll skip the words American and Band...even though, for awhile, I thought they were from Canada. (I apologize to any Canadians who find this mistake on my part to be offensive. I meant no disrespect. Please don't send any Mounted Police to rough me up.)
and no, our hatred isn't blind. We had plenty of time to think it over. They are played enough on the radio for us too all have plenty of opportunities to ponder it.

These guys write great songs.
They wrote one good song: "Ants Marching". Everything after that has been smudgy copies of "Ants Marching".

They're awesome musicians...
I'll take your word for it. I've never seen them play live.
Hmmmmm. Though this might explain why the fanbase likes them so much. The Live Experience...
Okay...serious question:
Tell me. Do they sound better live than they do on the radio? And if so, is that what makes them special?

...they can outplay most rock bands (yes im aware jazz guys etc are better).
Hmmm. Interesting....

The fact Dave has such a rabid loyal fanbase is proof they are great to me.
(*Insert Boilerplate "Well, Popularity != Quality. Hitler was popular in the beginning." comment here*)

Or in I Love Music terms: Dave Matthews Band Rocks!
Actually, an ILMer would've said "Dafe Mettews == Grebt!"

...and you still haven't rebutted the specific complaints listed here; you merely barked a "Dave r0x0r!"