1. Receiving a bill with that fucking www.wheresgeorge.com stamp on it
― the great aussie ballkicking vids (jjjusten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:07 (2 years ago) Permalink
2. Polite and formal delivery notes from UPS or the like indicating that the driver was doing his job and not delivering the package because a signature was needed and all. (I do not care. LEAVE THE GODDAMN PACKAGE AT THE DOOR, IT WILL NOT SPROUT WINGS AND FLY AWAY.)
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:10 (2 years ago) Permalink
3. People taking the elevator up/down one floor, rather than taking the stairs, thus delaying my pilgrimage to the top floor4. People who get to the 4-way stop first, yet wait for everyone else to get to the stop sign and not being sure if they want to go or yield when in reality THEY SHOULD JUST BE GOING.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:11 (2 years ago) Permalink
I don't know, Ned. Superchunk warned us of the dangers here.
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:12 (2 years ago) Permalink
...not the most effective band choice with me, that.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:13 (2 years ago) Permalink
5. A sticker on someone's desk in the office that says "If something can go right, it will".
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:13 (2 years ago) Permalink
6. People who try to talk me into getting the free magazine that comes with whatever purchase I just made after I already said "no" once.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:14 (2 years ago) Permalink
7. My CEO using a Gandhi quote, "Be the change you want to see in the world," in all her emails to employees.
― a seminar on ass play for kids or something (Phil D.), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:15 (2 years ago) Permalink
8. My boss coming by and saying "how's it going?" and trying to make small talk when he can clearly see that I'm on the phone.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:16 (2 years ago) Permalink
9. People who pull up and park in front of the supermarket in the "no parking lane" to let someone out/pick someone up, and turn their flashers on as if to say "pass me". IT IS YOU THAT NEED TO MOVE, FUCKHOLE!
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:17 (2 years ago) Permalink
10. People who say "excuse me" in a rude voice when they are the ones who nearly collided with me.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:18 (2 years ago) Permalink
11. People who say things like "I work in a music store, so I know about music" to validate their opinions....
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:20 (2 years ago) Permalink
12. My boss coming by and saying "how's it going?" and trying to make small talk when he can clearly see that I'm on the phone.
― Vaguely Threatening CAPTCHAs, Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:26 (2 years ago) Permalink
13. People who smoke in front of their young children in restaurants.
then again, that isn't so innocuous
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:27 (2 years ago) Permalink
14. Passive aggressive LA sidewalk walkers. Like, either say "excuse me" every time you need someone to move, or be a fucking city person and bowl them the fuck over, a la NYC. This expectation that all others will move out of your way, followed by subsequent bent-out-of-shapedness, is SO FUCKING LAME.
― Sauvignon Blanc Mange (B.L.A.M.), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:33 (2 years ago) Permalink
15. People who flash their lights at you in the right lane. If you want to go faster GET IN THE LEFT LANE, YOU FUCKTWIG.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:34 (2 years ago) Permalink
16. People who camp out in the left lane. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!
― Sauvignon Blanc Mange (B.L.A.M.), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:35 (2 years ago) Permalink
17. People who make left turns on red. THAT'S ILLEGAL.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:35 (2 years ago) Permalink
LEAVE THE GODDAMN PACKAGE AT THE DOOR, IT WILL NOT SPROUT WINGS AND FLY AWAY
have had them stolen tbh. well just one time. and also i lived above hooligans who sold knockoff purses and meth, so um.
― she's one intense bitch, she rides a unicycle (arby's), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:38 (2 years ago) Permalink
also, the people who send the packages are the ones who choose whether signature is needed or not. it's optional, so blame the person who sent the package really...
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:40 (2 years ago) Permalink
18. Someone said this already elsewhere on ILX, but sandwich artist - YOU"RE supposed to know what makes a good sandwich, don't ask me, just make it!!!
― Faerie Liquide (admrl), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:40 (2 years ago) Permalink
19. ILX
― mod future admin gang ban them all (The Reverend), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:44 (2 years ago) Permalink
20. Pulling up to the drive through and hearing nothing but dead silence for 3 minutes, then hearing a voice get annoyed when you say "Hello?" WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, MASTURBATING?
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:45 (2 years ago) Permalink
There is an Italian market in my neighborhood where the dude behind the deli counter makes sandwiches totally based on what the best stuff he has in at that time is. You just ask for a sandwich, and he makes you one.
I have never had a bad sandwich there. And I have them a lot.
He's an artist. Those motherfuckers at Subway are sandwich assembly line workers.
― Sauvignon Blanc Mange (B.L.A.M.), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
21. People who don't have enough/any change for the tollbooth, and actually get out of their car to ask the cars behind them for change. THESE ARE UNMANNED BOOTHS AND THEY GIVE YOU THREE FREEBIES, JUST DRIVE THROUGH YOU COCKFARMER.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
20. Pulling up to the drive through and hearing nothing but dead silence for 3 minutes, then hearing a voice get annoyed when you say "Hello?" WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, MASTURBATING?― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 7:45 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Wednesday, September 29, 2010 7:45 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark
idk ones like this don't seem that innocuous to me. i.e. i don't think you're being upset at someone who is being pretty directly rude to you is all that irrational.
― she's one intense bitch, she rides a unicycle (arby's), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:52 (2 years ago) Permalink
I guess it's innocuous because in the grand scheme of things, it's not gonna ruin my day...
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:53 (2 years ago) Permalink
22. People who can't do simple math in their heads.
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:57 (2 years ago) Permalink
xpost ahh ok. i guess i was expecting more like 'lol why does that bother me, at all' as opposed to 'these are petty things that bother me'
― she's one intense bitch, she rides a unicycle (arby's), Thursday, 30 September 2010 00:59 (2 years ago) Permalink
it can be that way too. some of my entries were more your first example than second...
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
23. use of the word "random" outside of anything mathematical. i think it stems from ppl who use it to describe anything slapstick or absurd (a monkey in hockey skates omg so random!!!!) but i now have a Pavlovian response to it in any context.
― she's one intense bitch, she rides a unicycle (arby's), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:06 (2 years ago) Permalink
I posted this on my FB but
24. People humming along to music they haven't heard or humming something completely unrelated while other music is playing.
― corey, Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:10 (2 years ago) Permalink
25. People who say things like 'I bought a Subway' for lunch. No, you bought a shitty chain-store sandwich. Giving it a brand name does not make it better.
I think I said this elsewhere, but
26. People who have widescreen TVs/monitors, but don't adjust the aspect ration, so everything is squat and fat.
― buildings with goats on the roof (James Morrison), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:13 (2 years ago) Permalink
what if they mean they literally bought a subway? d'ja ever think of THAT?
― officer i didn't know it was a penguin (San Te), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:15 (2 years ago) Permalink
OK, good point. They bring that fucker to work and I'll be impressed. And I'll use it to go home.
― buildings with goats on the roof (James Morrison), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:19 (2 years ago) Permalink
I think my speech patterns for the day have been set to ice cr?m over here: "My mom thinks I'm cool" - the lamest boasts you've ever heard
27. People who call their husbands "DH" on the internet.
― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:45 (2 years ago) Permalink
28. Rocky Horror pre-shows.
― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:50 (2 years ago) Permalink
Ugh I hate that one (xpost the DH thing)
29. Stubbing my toe/tripping over somethingThe other day I tripped over the vaccum cleaner and got SO MAD I almost smashed the full jar of pasta sauce I had in my hand against a wall :/ WTF.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:51 (2 years ago) Permalink
Oh man I just burnt myself AND got a splinter in the past half hour and I was so disproportionately Hulked out. It was fucking stupid.
― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:52 (2 years ago) Permalink
Haha I do that too. Cat gets under my feet? RARRRGH. Kick foot on table? NNRRGHHHH!!^%%^$ Spill sauce on my shirt? FUCK YOU SAUCE I KILL YOU WITH GUNS.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Thursday, 30 September 2010 01:54 (2 years ago) Permalink
I had a moment of horrible self-recognition once watching Black Books, and Bernard Black turns on the tap and starts yelling 'Come on! COME ON!' at it in the second it takes for the water to start coming out.
― buildings with goats on the roof (James Morrison), Thursday, 30 September 2010 02:00 (2 years ago) Permalink
30. mediocrity
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Thursday, 30 September 2010 02:20 (2 years ago) Permalink
31. pedestrians walking in the bike lane THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING PED PATH PARALLEL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING BIKE PATH
i mostly think this when i am walking on the ped path
32. ppl who don't use turn signals. this may be a holdover from having my foot run over by someone who failed to use a turn signal.
― just1n3, Thursday, 30 September 2010 04:48 (2 years ago) Permalink
wait what the hell is DH
― the great aussie ballkicking vids (jjjusten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 05:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
if it is "da husband" then i reserve the right to be rationally angry
― the great aussie ballkicking vids (jjjusten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 05:47 (2 years ago) Permalink
33. bars that have no free option for sober dudes (doesn't affect me but hey i have sober friends)
― the great aussie ballkicking vids (jjjusten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 05:48 (2 years ago) Permalink
irrational largely because i expect bar peeps to give out stuff for free, which makes no sense. but cmon fuckers pony up
― the great aussie ballkicking vids (jjjusten), Thursday, 30 September 2010 05:49 (2 years ago) Permalink
34. When I say 'Thank you', don't say 'Uh huh." Just don't. BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING LAZY. USE YOUR GODDAMN WORDS.
35. 20-something Little Miss Sunshine barista at my local Starbucks omg I fucking hate you: unless you are 50+ years old, you cannot call me 'sweetie' or 'sweetheart' or 'hon'. In fact, UNLESS YOU ARE A FUCKING WAITRESS FRESHENING MY COFFEE AT A TRUCKSTOP IN EAST FUCKOFF IOWA, YOU CAN EAT A DICK. JUST SHUT UP AND MAKE MY COFFEE. Please.
36. Friendly, engaging conversation first thing in the morning. SHUT UP SHUT SHUT UP YOU RIDICULOUS FREAK OF NATURE.
37. "Orientated".
― VegemiteGrrrl, Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:04 (2 years ago) Permalink
Its "dear husband" afaik. Theres horrid acronyms for the kids too, tho I forget what they are now.
― cathedral-sized jellyfish in your mind (Trayce), Thursday, 30 September 2010 06:06 (2 years ago) Permalink
When the sheet down by my feet comes untucked at the corner and it wrinkles up and I can feel the wrinkles. I cannot abide this. I just angrily twitched all my covers out of the way and got up and retucked the damn thing.
― lets just remember to blame the patriarchy for (in orbit), Monday, 20 May 2013 02:39 (4 days ago) Permalink
Ugh. Especially when something like that happens when you're too asleep to figure out the problem. For me, anyway.
Though I usually can't stand having my feet or legs covered at all when I sleep, so no untucking troubles, usually.
― Je55e, Monday, 20 May 2013 02:56 (4 days ago) Permalink
誤訳侮辱, did you used to post under another name?
― pplains, Monday, 20 May 2013 14:52 (4 days ago) Permalink
That stupid "Thug Kitchen" website.
― carl agatha, Monday, 20 May 2013 15:42 (4 days ago) Permalink
Stop yelling at me! I'll eat what I want, you bossy jerk!
airplane food
― Evan, Monday, 20 May 2013 15:58 (4 days ago) Permalink
What is the deal with that? And that little circle cut out of the tray - I mean, hey! Do you really think I don't know where to set down my plastic cup of 7-up? Or do they think that's somehow going to hold it in place during some turbulence. I got news for you stewardess - if this plane goes down, I think I'm not going to care if my cup slides a bit, amirite?
― pplains, Monday, 20 May 2013 16:01 (4 days ago) Permalink
Several. The one I used for the longest was probably unperson.
― 誤訳侮辱, Monday, 20 May 2013 16:01 (4 days ago) Permalink
I saw that same very thought about Star Trek retweeted last night.
― pplains, Monday, 20 May 2013 16:20 (4 days ago) Permalink
I'm on twitter as burn_amb (for Burning Ambulance, the magazine/website I run).
― 誤訳侮辱, Monday, 20 May 2013 16:23 (4 days ago) Permalink
The flood of FB/Twitter statuses in the wake of a disaster or tragedy, "Praying for Oklahoma!" Folks, if "God" gave a fuck what you wanted he maybe wouldn't have sent killer tornadoes roaring through there in the first place. Why don't you do something practical instead, like give money to a relief agency, or jump in front of a bus?
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 09:39 (3 days ago) Permalink
Internet sanctimony is the worst sanctimony I deal with on a day-to-day basis.
― on the sidelines dishing out sass (suzy), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 10:07 (3 days ago) Permalink
oh phil d thats just gods mysterious way
― educate yourself to this reality (sunny successor), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 14:36 (3 days ago) Permalink
To be fair, I think the "praying for ____" only means "My thoughts and sympathy goes to _____" for most people. Of course they probably think praying helps for some reason but it isn't so much "I would have helped directly but instead I prayed so it's all good".
― Evan, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 14:44 (3 days ago) Permalink
I try to keep it under wraps, but I'm one of those smug judgmental atheists people are always fretting about and I can't get mad at folks calling for prayers during times of major tragedy. I make a donation to the appropriate org when stuff like this happens, but that doesn't feel like enough, especially because what I really wish I could do is bring some comfort directly to people affected by the situation. I think for some folks, praying makes them feel like they are making a tangible difference. And you know, for some folks, knowing that people are praying for them makes them feel better, too.
I mean, if somebody flies to Oklahoma and instead of helping dig people out of the rubble or handing out blankets, they just stand there and pray, that's another thing. But long distance, "Pray for the victims" type stuff is just people trying to find a way to feel better about inexplicable tragedy.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 14:55 (3 days ago) Permalink
otm
― ljubljana, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 15:23 (3 days ago) Permalink
I think for some folks, praying makes them feel like they are making a tangible difference. And you know, for some folks, knowing that people are praying for them makes them feel better, too.
This is the main positive, for me.
I can see where Phil D is coming from, in that I'm allergic to a lot of religious shit, and "pray for the victims" makes me think about bullshit pseudoscience ~proof of the healing power of prayer~ stuff, but I have to remember to curb my judgment and stick with the facts at hand.
― Je55e, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 16:30 (3 days ago) Permalink
Guys the thread title is "innocuous things that make you irrationally angry," you want the "oh it's cool I see where you're coming from" thread.
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 16:45 (3 days ago) Permalink
Maybe you guys are assuming these people are really praying and are actually spiritual people when in reality they are just playing the Good Socially Active Christian part by posting "I'm praying!" and not really doing much of anything else.
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 16:46 (3 days ago) Permalink
LOL Phil
I do admit to giving people the benefit of the doubt even when they don't deserve it, especially when I'm already feeling soft towards my fellow humans.
As someone who gets irritated when people tell me to "have a blessed day!" I'm sort of surprised at my tolerance, honestly.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 16:51 (3 days ago) Permalink
Some of my fb friends have done this and they're good people, but I think Adam B is OTM for a lot of those posts, it's kind of a concern-bragging.
― nickn, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 17:22 (3 days ago) Permalink
When you pull a tissue out of the box and the next one doesn't come out and stick up, so that you have to stuff your hand into the box and scrabble around to get the next one, and you end up yanking out a whole bunch more than you need and then have to stuff them badly back into the box
― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 05:04 (2 days ago) Permalink
i just leave them in a neat pile on the top of the box
― gold logy (electricsound), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 05:05 (2 days ago) Permalink
so yr not a box stuffer then
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 05:18 (2 days ago) Permalink
sorry
it's like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube
― gold logy (electricsound), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 05:23 (2 days ago) Permalink
coles makes tissue boxes with tissue elevators, so there is no way to avoid a tiss-astrophe
savages
― the Quim of Bendigo (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 07:12 (2 days ago) Permalink
WITHOUT, not with
― the Quim of Bendigo (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 07:13 (2 days ago) Permalink
- Kindle books opening at the start of the main text so that I have to scroll back to see the front cover and all that publishing guff no-one else reads.
― The Parvenu Fucktard (onimo), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 11:20 (2 days ago) Permalink
People who wear opaque tights with clogs or other slip-on, open-heeled shoes.
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 11:22 (2 days ago) Permalink
Now I know I can never meet Phil D. Or at least not in October through April.
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 12:18 (2 days ago) Permalink
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 13:03 (2 days ago) Permalink
― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, May 22, 2013 1:04 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Are you one of those people from the infomercials? Big fan!
― Evan, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 13:09 (2 days ago) Permalink
Phil, no offence but I reckon the opaque tights thing is OK and I just might know more about style compared to... most people on ILX? If you don't believe me or carl, please defer to Miuccia Prada.
― on the sidelines dishing out sass (suzy), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 13:33 (2 days ago) Permalink
People who don't understand the word "irrationally".
― ailsa, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 13:36 (2 days ago) Permalink
I get rationally upset at people that don't understand the word irrationally
― Evan, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 13:45 (2 days ago) Permalink
I'm not making any claims to being stylish. Someday, wearing opaque tights with whatever kind of shoes will no longer be fashionable but I vow here before God and ILX that I will never let that stop me.
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 13:52 (2 days ago) Permalink
It's been acceptable in London for about 15 years, so may have moved into standard/staple territory as a result. However, yellow or orange opaques are no good unless you want to look like a giant bird with long bird legs.
― on the sidelines dishing out sass (suzy), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 13:59 (2 days ago) Permalink
I am actually the last person to be criticizing anyone's sense of style. I just know what I don't like!
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 14:16 (2 days ago) Permalink
When you come in to buy something new bring an old item of clothing with you & we'll pass it on to Oxfam. We call it shwopping.
RRRARAAARARARGGHHH!!!
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 15:33 (2 days ago) Permalink
I thought shwopping is when you spank someone with a cupped hand.
― Evan, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 15:47 (2 days ago) Permalink
That shwopping thing baffles me whenever I go in m&s. Why can't you just take your clothes to oxfam yourself? Do you get a free thing?
― kinder, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 16:43 (2 days ago) Permalink
£5 voucher I think. But if Oxfam is taking Workfare serfs, don't bother.
― on the sidelines dishing out sass (suzy), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 16:46 (2 days ago) Permalink
Ugh, they're not are they? No more knickers and sous-vide lamb for me until they clean up their act
― kinder, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 16:48 (2 days ago) Permalink
Just checked the Boycott Workfare site and they say Oxfam HQ gave them verbals that they were not participating, but every now and then a serf-pimping org manages to place somebody there. But I hate Oxfam anyway because their prices are not exactly low.
― on the sidelines dishing out sass (suzy), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 17:28 (2 days ago) Permalink
Colleague invites me and another colleague out for drinks. Great! Thanks! It will be wonderful to catch up. Colleagues and I all work in different parts of the city.One colleague drives and needs parking and the rest of us take public transit. Colleague who invited me tells me to pick a place that is central to us all and has easy parking and is close to two different rain lines because she is not "familiar with the city" despite having lived here nearly as long as I have.
So I guess in short, don't invite me somewhere and then expect me to do the logistical legwork of organizing your damn outing. Especially because I don't fucking know about parking. I don't have a car, in large part so I don't have to care about parking!
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 17:29 (2 days ago) Permalink
train lines not rain lines who cares I'm too annoyed to use the right words.
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 17:30 (2 days ago) Permalink
picnic at the city dump. that'll teach her
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 18:28 (2 days ago) Permalink
"not familiar with the city" Jesus
― Je55e, Wednesday, 22 May 2013 18:29 (2 days ago) Permalink
people who stand in lift/tram doors and wonder why they're not closing
― the Quim of Bendigo (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 22:49 (2 days ago) Permalink