Yippee-IA, Motherf***ers! IRRATIONALLY ANGRY PT. 2: Irrationally Angrier

because it's time for a new thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVbhOZjSuic

I'm super pissed off at the powers that be who are irrationally censoring get bent!

omg yes I used to get irrationally angry that I couldn't load that thread

xp - i don't want anyone's boss to get irrationally angry.

melon farmers

fyi GB yr new thread title is the best.

i'm kind of IA about having a new thread.

Limp handshakes. I've met about a half a dozen people from the head office this week, and they all had the worst handshakes.

But at least they didn't hug me.

limp hugs

when someone says 'can i borrow your laptop/ipad for a second, i won't change anything' and then fucking close all your browser tabs

-Cadbury Boost wrappers

People in big cars who lurk in your blind spot on the freeway.

tags that won't quite rip off clothing and in the process of trying to rip them out you tear a hole in your clothes.

YES i know I should have used scissors SHUT UP ffs

RIP longest thread I ever started ;_;

thats not anything that makes me IA though, i was just amused to get momentarily irked by a wheresgeorge.com and then CREATE A MONSTER

if we ever irl meet I will give you a hug for creating the IA thread

tags that won't quite rip off clothing and in the process of trying to rip them out you tear a hole in your clothes.

YES i know I should have used scissors SHUT UP ffs

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, May 30, 2013 3:05 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It is like we are two halves of the same person, separated by half a continent.

<3 <3

and then i will give you an awful limp hug so i can live on through this thread for all eternity xxpost

lol

People in big cars who lurk in your blind spot on the freeway.

― Elvis Telecom, Thursday, May 30, 2013 9:56 AM (1 hour ago)

^this. I also hate it when I'm in the right turning lane to exit a parking lot, and a big car or truck pulls alongside me in the left turning lane and inches up really close to the roadway so that I can't see if there's an opening in the traffic and can't safely make my turn until the person to my left makes their turn. in the meantime I probably could have made my turn much sooner without inconveniencing the dickass driver one bit.

http://i.imgur.com/9JTe6fw.png

except it's more like

http://imgur.com/VKqB4VW

where I have an opening and can't see it

er,

http://imgur.com/VKqB4VW

http://i.imgur.com/VKqB4VW.png

(also IA at not being able to post images)

I hate that.

ugggh I hate those ppl!!! this happens to me a lot!

Similarly - and I see this at multiple intersections, multiple times a week - drivers at a T-intersection (represented by the light blue cars below) who get the green light, turn left, then stupidly think they have to stop at the cross-traffic light, thereby blocking every direction because they are idiots. (As are the planners/traffic engineers who didn't just put the goddamned lights on the other sides of the intersection.)

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/421196_10200717713321921_700208077_n.jpg

v glad for youtube embed

ohhhh and while we're at it, those stupidass motherfuckers who decide to pull into the middle of an intersection when traffic is backed up, KNOWING that the light is going to change shortly, instead of hanging back and letting the light change so that people like me can actually get across when my light goes green instead of waiting for your stupid ass to pull through the intersection

this seems to happen ALL the time with intersections where level crossings are nearby. idiots.

In Chicago, particularly in the downtown business district, pedestrian traffic is very heavy so when people do that bullshit where they pull into the intersection without being able to get through and then the light changes, they suddenly find themselves trapped because pedestrians don't give a fuck about their dumb asses and block their way forward, and then cars on the perpendicular street go crazy with the honking and the cursing and the near misses as they swerve around the blocking car, while the driver just sits there looking like a total idiot. It is beautiful and swift justice and I admit to sometimes catching the driver's eye and just slowly shaking my head at him like I'm really fucking disappointed in his behavior.

props to chicago, they know how to handle their shit imo

sacramento could do with a LOT more of that

^^ I enjoy doing that too, but this isn't the irrationally PA thread.

view blocking gigantic cars/trucks happens to me all the time probably because its arkansas where 90% of people have gigantic cars/trucks and i drive a nazi beetle

...catching the driver's eye and just slowly shaking my head at him like I'm really fucking disappointed in his behavior.

― carl agatha

This is much better than an evil look or finger.

Big vehicle turning left: Then there was the evening I was leaving work and same kind of thing happened except we were both turning left. (both lanes had that permission.)

Light turns green and I hesitate for just one beat because I can't see over the fucking hood of the car on my left. Within that beat, a goddamm 18-wheeler blows through the red light from my left, looking in front of me like the freight train from the Coors silver bullet commercials.

Had it not been for the big SUV next to me, I might not have hesitated. Of course had it not been for the big SUV next to me, I might have seen the truck from afar in the first place.

At any rate, it scared the piss out of me and I didn't know what to be angry about.

I also hate it when I'm in the right turning lane to exit a parking lot, and a big car or truck pulls alongside me in the left turning lane and inches up really close to the roadway so that I can't see if there's an opening in the traffic and can't safely make my turn until the person to my left makes their turn.

you know this is easy to resolve, right? you just get out and you kill them

lol i miss the first IA thread where i could freely complain about drivers who don't hang out in the intersection and keep me stuck at another red light because of their dumb lack of decisiveness

-that whistling text alert every fucker on the train seems to use

yes, yes, yes. Every fucker in our lab, too. Or at least one fucker who gets a lot of messages.

i think i killed most of the ants by putting a small buffer of borax where they were coming from. it took about a day but no ants are walking around now.

ugh this is a neverending IA for me

person A: hi i am emailing you with a request that consist of a single question and no instructions
me: hi i need instructions from you to complete this request
person A: ... [no reply]

THAT EMAIL DID NOT HAVE ANY INFORMATION IN IT WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WALK AWAY FROM YOUR DESK AFTER SENDING THAT NONSENSE

In Chicago, particularly in the downtown business district, pedestrian traffic is very heavy so when people do that bullshit where they pull into the intersection without being able to get through and then the light changes, they suddenly find themselves trapped because pedestrians don't give a fuck about their dumb asses and block their way forward, and then cars on the perpendicular street go crazy with the honking and the cursing and the near misses as they swerve around the blocking car, while the driver just sits there looking like a total idiot. It is beautiful and swift justice and I admit to sometimes catching the driver's eye and just slowly shaking my head at him like I'm really fucking disappointed in his behavior.

haha I do this so much

I actually saw a cop give someone a ticket for this the other day and was so happy

I also bang on their car midnight cowboy style

people seem to get really mad when you bang on their car, which is funny cause I mean it's metal, I'm probably not gonna break it

Teenaged me used to do that to drivers who thrust the nose of their car inside the crosswalk I was trying to use.

I personally wouldn't bang on somebody's car unless I was prepared to have an actual fight, which I never am because I wouldn't even know where to start. I'd probably just drop to the sidewalk and start squealing.

But that's not really my point. My point is that it's interesting that people would respond violently to someone touching their car when, like you said, you're probably not going to break it.

driving a car turns people into monsters and the car becomes part of your monster-body so it's taken as if you physically pushed them

Some drunk dingus spit on the car share car Jeff and I were driving a few months ago, but I didn't get angry because he was so wasted and there's just something so ultimately impotent and embarrassing, like I was really embarrassed for him, about somebody spitting on a thing to express their anger about it. This does not disprove your theory, however, because I wasn't driving, though, and Jeff didn't notice so he might have gone monster car if he had.

Cars dent very easily and cost lots to repair. I think deciding if you're prepared to fight before deliberately damaging someone else's property over an innocuous piece of annoying driving makes sense.

'innocuous piece of annoying driving'

I should probably point out that a hood thump was unlikely if the driver was some kind of large meathead. Best deployed when driver was some kind of annoying preppy mom.

yeah I have the benefit of being bigger than most people

I was more amused by the drunk spitting bro more than anything else.

iatee r u secretly swole, always imagined u as a weedy little nerd like me

'Thieves Like Us' was a key song for me. Getting over & coming to love its 'lol 1980s' sound was a point of no return. Love it unreservedly.

that's quite a subtle way of telling us that posting on the wrong thread makes you irrationally angry

I actually saw a cop give someone a ticket for this the other day and was so happy

I have seen cops just hang out at Bay/Bloor (busy-as-hell intersection in downtown Toronto) and hand out a ticket every time someone did this, which was literally every single time the light was green. It was so AWESOME.

savages itt

you know what's cooler than pedestrians CARS

lately I've started slowing down when I'm in crosswalks with no signal and a car is creeping forward

being given a fork instead of chopsticks because i'm white

just now i passively-aggressively asked for chopsticks in chinese just to drive the point home, but fucked it up and ended up going 'chopsticks chopsticks' in english, which made me even more ia

lol

and i just dropped a dumpling and vinegar went everywhere, so now i'm feeling a massive dick

wait whose dick

lol!

iatee r u secretly swole, always imagined u as a weedy little nerd like me

I'm not super swole but I'm 6'2 and in pretty decent shape so I'm big enough to not find very many strangers intimidating. I will probably just get shot tho.

People who park on pavementsd so pedestrians can't walk by on th epavement and are forced to go in the road. Tends to make me want to walk down the inside anyway preferably with a sharp object protruding. Not that I do that, just feel the inclination to.

Plus furthermore having cars semi blocking pavements with wheely bins adding further to the blockage which is a normal situationon a Friday in one of the estates I have to walk through to get to the training centre.

A car will NOT sustain damage from somebody bangs on it unless they're kicking it or really pounding on a door panel, which I don't think iatee or carl do/did.

I have done it, and for maximum obnoxiousness, I knocked on the cars like you'd knock on a door.

guy parked outside my house, what makes you think i want to listen to the same shitty club music xm radio station they play in the gym

I've never hit a car! I'm afraid of getting beat up!

yeah i would never do that. i always assume asshole drivers are aggressive people who might hit you or worse.

gah last night these douchebags were trying to plow through a very large crowd after they got stuck in that above position on 14th st (a bad place to be stuck blocking the box) and some other proud pedestrian not only banged on their car but refused to move and tried to get the asshole drivers to get out of their car. my friend was quick thinking enough to get their license plate.

I've banged on the back of cars if they almost hit me. I think I've scared the shit out of some people doing it. I think they thought I was a flash mob.

I've banged on cars, mostly the ones who run red lights. I've had maybe two guys yell at me afterward, but what are they going to do, leave their car in the middle of traffic during rush hour?

what are they going to do, leave their car in the middle of traffic during rush hour?

Concealed-carry permits are getting easier and easier to come by these days.

I know, you'd think those asshole drivers would think of this when they cross me.

lol

people who make a blatant swallowing noise halfway through a sentence. makes me incandescent with rage.

I'm confident in my speed to run away from any potential conflict. They'd have to leave their car behind and chase me for miles.

I dig scooters but i hate stupid scooter riders. One dude yesterday rolling down a busy 4 lane road holding a coffee in one hand, weaving all over the place & darting in front of cars not signalling. And stupid girl today who parked her scooter on the sidewalk directly in front of handicapped parking (when there were parking spaces and other more suitable areas to park a scooter) so no handicapped ppl could actually use that widened portion of the sidewalk INTENDED for their use

some ppl are idiots

scooters are still cool

i had barely parked in a parking spot and was straightening the car, and some shitbag in an suv tried to pull straight into the next spot and kept parping her horn at me. very, very long time since i've actively wanted to jump out of the car and scream at someone

and then the parking machine swallowed all my money because governments are too special to give change

fuck today is what i'm saying

bleh

My complete irrational anger – because it's completely irrational – is aimed at the motorcycle parked in my crowded lot, taking up a whole space when he could, you know, park in the fire zone or the handicap ramp area.

So I'd rather this guy drive a car? He's got to park it somewhere legal, right? Probably my most irrational of them all.

I try to be a polite motorcycle parker by a) parking near the back of a spot so drivers know the spot is taken before they get their hopes up and b) by leaving enough room for another motorcycle or parking next to an existing motorcycle who has done the same. I've come out of stores or the gym to find two other bikes in the same spot with me.

D'aw.

I'm IA at my own internal clock. Every time I set an alarm now, I wake up 15-20 minutes early -- but I really wanted those few minutes of sleep!

And when I'm too hot with the AC set on 76, and too cold when it's set on 75.

^both way too hot imo

* voicemail systems that make you listen to a playback of your message before you have the option to delete and re-record. it normally takes me at least 3 tries to record a message I'm satisfied with, and having to listen to all my screw-ups is an excruciating waste of time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqXYTu6un78

This dude I know always speaks in this half-stoned drawl, asks questions, then basically walks away half way through the answer, citing his short attention span. Yesterday he pressured me into letting him and his friend play my guitars. He's never played electric, so he kept asking questions. "So what does this do?" Oh, you turn that and ... "Huh, this thing called treble, what does it do?" Well, you use it to ... "Do you have another amp?" Yeah, right over ... "What is that plug for?" Etc.

Then he asked me how to get Jerry Garcia's tone, which I rudely dismissed as "crappy" (out of annoyance, I admit), and he got all "hey, man, it's not cool to say it's crappy, it makes me feel really bad." I was all, you're playing guitars in my house, which I didn't want to do with you, so sorry if I'm snippy.

I almost hit him.

^both way too hot imo

― no man is an islam (onimo), Monday, June 3, 2013 9:53 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

agreed. 68 max

I'd be in my winter clothes year round if I set it on 68, and my light bill would bankrupt me.

I know you want my money, medical provider, because you have sent me a bill. But how about you don't make it so difficult for me to pay you? Some suggestions:

- take my copay at the time of my office visit like I asked you to, because the copay is always the same and I always have to pay it eventually and no, I really don't want you to bill the insurance company and then send me a bill, just take my money. Take it. Take the money.

- have billing office hours that correspond to normal working hours instead of your weird hours of 10-2 with a lunch break so I can call and talk to a person and pay my bill. Also answer the phone during business hours, for the love of god.

- return my calls when I follow instructions and leave a message telling you I would like to pay my bill and please call me back so I can do so.

- get into the 21st century and allow people to pay their bills online because you are like the second largest medical provider in the state, maybe the largest, I don't fucking know, and your competitors allow for online bill paying, dammit.

Tell 'em that online bill paying is even possible down in Upper Dingus, Mississippi.

I swear my copays were like my personal property taxes where I assess for the next year and pay for the last one.

"Mr. Plains, you owe us $25 for your last visit."

"That's fine. So $50 altogether?"

"No, I think you're caught up now."

"...."

Repeat

Those doorknobs even made me fill out paper work twice - once on paper, and once electronically on an iPad type thing because they are switching to electronic records. Then why am I filling out the paper records, too? *sob*

I like that doctor, but hate his entire office staff. Unfortunately, I have pretty much seen and hated every local gastroenterologist who doesn't focus on weight loss surgery so I'm stuck with this place until the next crop of GI residents open their own practices.

I take it you're not talking about the Official Doctor of ChiLX? He is part of the system you're talking about, and in his office, the switch to electronic records involved exactly one step: me giving them the email address I want associated with my account.

No, a gastroenterologist per my above post. Albeit one Dr. ChILX referred me to.

My brother burned me some metal CDrs for my birthday less than a month ago and I listened to them when I got them and then stacked them up on the table and they sat there for a little over 3 weeks. Yesterday I take them out and pop them in the CD player and after the first track EVERY TRACK SKIPS. And while this is happening I am getting so mad and thinking "What fragile little plastic pieces of crap! I have vinyl records that came out half a century ago that still play flawlessly even though visibly there are scratches and age-old wear and tear. Fuck the record industry for choosing this shitty little piece of technology!"

Really, CDs are a fucking joke. They are so dead. They should have never even come out. I'm so glad that they did, and the industry shot themselves in the foot by making us all go with a format that was destined to lead to widespread piracy rather than stick with wonderful vinyl that won't be widely copyable until the 3d printers of 2023. It's not even about "vinyl sounds warmer", it's about "when a vinyl record skips, it doesn't glitch out and start going backwards and then starts playing from 10 seconds earlier than where you were until it gets to the same spot and starts the whole torture all over again". You just pick up the needle and move it, hell sometimes it will even fix itself!

Goddamn CDs.

i've had vinyl that's skipped backwards repeatedly

ozzy osbourne doesn't count

nice

My dentist uses one of those ipad records input things. The interface is TERRIBLE.

Does your dentist's come wrapped in this weird orange plastic bumper case? Anyway, yes the interface is awful.

i'm not defending cds, they have their flaws, but i used them as my primary music medium for like 15 years and never had a whole stack of cds start skipping after just sitting out for three weeks. sounds like yr bro bought a bad batch of cd-rs or something.

My office actually went out and bought four iPads and stationed them outside of our meeting rooms.

If you want to schedule a room, you go to the iPad and blip through all the forms.

It's time-consuming, wasteful and hard on your posture since you're bending down and doing some invisible finger-painting. I keep telling my boss, I could've saved this company about two grand if you had sent me to Staples with a credit card.

I think my CD player is just really crappy.

my drs office uses an ipad interface and every time i'm there all i hear is "come on...wait, give me a minute...this thing is so slow today" etc etc. I'm beginning to suspect its the reason behind not being able to get an appointment less than 5 days in advance.

They also use it to send in prescriptions to your pharmacy of choice. This has not worked once (pharmacy didn't receive anything) unless you count the time they sent it to a completely different pharmacy and it got filled there. I mean just write me a prescription. I seriously don't mind carrying the piece of paper to the place I need to go to anyway.

friend texts me

"I hate all of the iPhone ring tones. And I don't want a song as a ringer. What are my options?"

HOW ABOUT VIBRATE LIKE A FUCKING ADULT

ahahaha WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS, HOOS????

that ipad outside of meeting rooms is so ridiculous. dont shared calendars do this job?

Here's how that went:

Scheduling:

Rooms can be scheduled two ways:

· Enter your meeting manually by walking up to the iPad outside the room.

OR

· Schedule from your desk using Google Calendar (see instructions below).

1. Go to https://www.google.com/calendar

2. Log in with email: *****@***.com

3. Password: 89u45ufoi

4. On the left under ‘My Calendars’ click the color block for the calendar you wish to see. Click ‘Create’.

5. Add your meeting name; choose day and time; click the drop-down list beside ‘Calendar’ and choose the appropriate one. Click the event color and check your chosen calendar. Click SAVE.

6. Check to make sure you see the yellow box that confirms your meeting was added and that you see it on the master calendar.

Which means everyone walks up to the iPad outside the room and enters their meeting manually.

this article made me angry because of my digestive issues:

http://gawker.com/do-you-use-butt-wipes-and-if-so-what-the-fuck-is-wron-511428757

like, I know this is Gawker, but I seriously want to give this guy the world's biggest noogie. max can you give him a noogie for me?

ugh multiple calendars

One from me, too.

xp

Butt wipes make me irrationally fresh.

ok rill lol @ 'irrationally fresh'

"Hey, guys! Excuse me while I take a shower!"

*stands in living room, rubs towel around his ears*

That article is pretty fucking stupid. That guy would probably change his tune if he ever tried these amazing things.

i don't know how you don't use butt wipes. if i had even the tiniest piece of shit on my arm i sure as hell wouldn't be satisfied with wiping it off with a tissue. why should my butt be different? my only problem with butt wipes is that they aren't antibacterial.

Dear John Cook, who is a very stupid human being:

I hope to god you never have hemorrhoids, and I especially hope you never have any that are partly internal. If you do, I hope you never have to make do with just toilet paper, especially the shitty toilet paper available in most public restrooms.

Go fuck yourself!

- Phil D.

^

http://www.indiepundit.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/citizen-kane-clapping-gif.gif

I have this cool-looking coffee mug that I hadn't used in years, and I decided to put it back in rotation

I just remembered why I stopped using it. The handle is curved like a large arch that's a little bit too arched to get all your fingers around the handle, and it's also kind of thin and weirdly sized. but the worst flaw that you don't realize until you're walking back from the urn with a mug of hot coffee is that the actual mug itself is so heavy, and the handle is so weird and difficult to grip that the whole thing literally starts to slowly slide and tilt downwards in your hand as you're carrying it!
wtf

it's SO stupidly designed I want to punch whoever made it.

like I have to put my other hand underneath it to stop it falling because my hand just wants to let go of it

Destroy that mug! Wear safety goggles and smash it with a hammer. You will feel like a benefactor of humanity as you do so.

Alternatively, wash it well, wrap it beautifully and make a gift of it to someone you hate, while professing to offer it as a token of your esteem.

I'm going to put old pens in it because it is actually nice to look at

It is an evil mug, it will dry up all your ink.

The screams are coming from inside the mug.

I'm going to put old pens in it because it is actually nice to look at

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, June 5, 2013 1:34 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

misread ilx posts

hahahaha otm

loool

why because it look intersting

pen is mug

cant seem to quite grip that pen is mug

moved from old thread:

the sound of drumsticks clicking to count off a song

― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Wednesday, June 5, 2013 2:48 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

relatedly, bass players who do brief little noodly things right after a song finishes, like a little string slide or a quick thump.

― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Wednesday, June 5, 2013 2:49 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pen is mug hard to hold

What about a high-hat like at the beginning of Back in Black.

Thank god somebody else commented about "old pens in" b/c I felt like it was just me being a perv

I'm always looking for a place to put my old pens

the sound of drumsticks clicking to count off a song

― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Wednesday, June 5, 2013 2:48 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

OTM x1000. Fuck this fucking practice.

I hear you guys on the drum clicks, but you're just inviting cutsey little Uno Does Flügen Frägen intros.

Dos. I do know how to spell in Spanish.

colorful vegetable pasta noodles.

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTG5pqqfO7eh0SG_cAXAtdv5G8_muRnfLG8T1x9hYHLb9bKvT6x

i want to kick them in teeth.

i love those!

me too give them to me

why cant they just be pasta? shit!

tastes exactly the same to me

they're kinda tacky but they taste ok

pp are you thinking of bono's inexplicable UNO DOS TRES CATORCE

I just misspelled Dos, but I was thinking of Sam the Sham & The Pharaohs.

Sam the Sham & The Pharaohs are awesome though

Yeah, but replace every time you hear a drum click with that and SEE WHAT I MEAN?

It would make Fugazi songs a bit more interesting, I give you that.

ramones.jpg

The first time I ever heard this was Devo and Jocko Homo.

A year or so later I was at a holiday camp, and the evening entertainment was provided by a permanent pop/soft rock band doing the Yellow River type of song you know right? They started every song by clicking drumsticks and I so wanted them to launch into the Devo song. Every. Damn. Time.

tastes exactly the same to me

― ty based gay dead computer god (zachlyon), Wednesday, June 5, 2013 9:05 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they're kinda tacky but they taste ok

― veryupsetmom (harbl), Wednesday, June 5, 2013 9:08 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If you're approaching this from a standpoint of "taste" then you just don't understand why I'm so irrationally PISSED.

Not sure what the problem is, the green ones have spinach in and the red ones have tomato in, why is this so bad?

I am beside a phoneshouter on the tram and the urge to assault is rising

Shh! It was hard enough getting the kids to eat the green ones, they'd always eat the orange and yellow ones...

xpost obv.

It's the colors! They should all be beige. Thats just how it should be. Its nice that they have chlorophyll in them or whatever, but they should be chemically recolored beige.

Side note: I gave a relative who only ate white foods until they were 7 years old.

Have

Erik Satie??

Drumstick clicks should be replaced by muted electric guitar strums tbf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeawh3IZEgQ

That 51% stat on the gawker butt wipe thing made me think about polling ilx for the wet/dry wipe ratio but then I thought

- I do not care how anyone else wipes his or her butt
- I do not want to be the butt wipe poll guy

It's probably already been done on ILTMI but I do not go to that place.

omg, I missed the butt wipe thing. Jesus, enjoy a clean anus for christ's sake.

slam dunk to thread

oh my gooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

I finally got through to the doctor's billing office only to find out that they don't handle billing for that office anymore and I would have to call the actual office. "Why is your number on the bill?" "I don't know. We don't handle their billing." SIGH. FINE.

So I call the doc's office with a heavy heart because the office staff there is really uniformly terrible and first they put me on hold for eight minutes (thank you, timer on my phone!) and then cannot get my name right. Some of you know my last name and it's not the most common name in North America but it's British as hell and so generally recognizable by English speakers and spelled phonetically and only two syllables but still I had to spell it for them SIX times.

And THEN they put me on hold again and came back and said that their billing system wasn't working and I had to call back on Monday. Then I blacked out.

What about a high-hat like at the beginning of Back in Black.

― pplains, Wednesday, June 5, 2013 3:05 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah but the hi-hat is a musical instrument that is designed to sound good on a record. Sticks are designed for playing things like the hi-hat and the drums, not each other. It's such an awful sound. Maybe about one time in one hundred it works on an aggro song, but even there it's such a cliched signifier of aggro-ness that it grates on a whole other level.

Sticks are designed for playing things like the hi-hat and the drums, not each other.

this is pretty silly

seems like you're trying to come up with rational explanations for your irrational anger

n/a otm

Gunter glieben glauchen globen

seems like you're trying to come up with rational explanations for your irrational anger

yeah this thread really needs to get back to its roots, maybe do some small club shows

dude in my office keeps saying "...and things of that nature" in every sentence & i am going to beat him with my shoe

maybe if instead of "nature" he changed it up with an "ilk" or a "type" every so often, you'd find it in your heart to substitute a slipper for your shoe.

Side note: I have a relative who only ate white foods until they were 7 years old.

I just read in the new David Sedaris book where he says if he tried this his parents would have been all "Fine", and then fed him wallpaper paste and semen.

lol, i might actually read that and i didn't even think i liked him.
i had a coworker who was 40 and only ate beige foods and cheesesteaks. she was thin and had amazing skin. i try not to criticize people's foods but it was pathological. like she would pick parsley off of things.

I know someone who says "...and so on and so forth" in every fifth sentence, frequently with up-talk, and I have had violent thoughts.

my boss loves "as far as that's concerned" and it is extremely annoying. it doesn't even mean anything!

I know two people with the exact same tic of saying "and all that kind of thing" in every sentence. They don't really know each other and are different in pretty much every other way, it's weird

I get that people have verbal tics, I have verbal tics, everyone does. Usually they aren't 6 words long, though.

right, also this guy is a trial lawyer who manages to avoid saying "as far as that goes" when it really matters

I'm not bothered by it at all unless they are relating an anecdote, then it becomes difficult to listen to

I have this uncle who is ALWAYS bugging me to play music with him and his buddies. I've done it several times and it has never been the slightest bit enjoyable, and now the thing is (1) I have a demanding job (2) I have a baby and (3) I don't even play drums anymore, like I haven't touched a kit in over a year, so I'm really out of shape, which would make it even less fun than it already is to slog through mott the hoople covers and "originals" with him and his stinky friends. But no matter how many times I tell him I can't do it, he doesn't take the hint and just keeps bugging me. I was like "I DO NOT PLAY DRUMS ANYMORE" and he's like "But come on, you can't really lose it" and I'm like "YES YOU CAN. I HAVE NO CHOPS. I HAVEN'T PLAYED IN OVER A YEAR." And he insists that I "promised" him we'd play, which never fucking happened. BTW he hasn't had a job in several years for no apparent reason.

So that is an objectively pretty innocuous thing that makes me deeply fucking irrationally angry

He's not listening. You're going to have to yell at him.

The sports show I used to produce, the co-hosts used to say "...if you will," at the end of every other sentence when they were stalling until the next commercial.

mediocre rice

Loud music in clothing stores

spikey spherical shells from liquid amber trees littering the ground

jack in the box commercials

hotel rooms without ipod docking stations

brimstead otfm. getting one of those assholes stuck in yr flip flop or sliding on one on the sidewalk = rage

1) staking out a spot near the stage because i'm short and can't see anything when tall dudes are in front of me -- and then finding that my perfect spot has become ground zero for a fucking MOSHPIT, ughhh, and a bunch of drunk bros are kicking my shin, jabbing me in the boob with their elbow, stepping on my foot, spilling the melted ice from their drink on me. this isn't even a "mosh" kind of band, they're jaded new yorkers who play vu/modern lovers/pavement type stuff.

2) someone e-mails me back about a job i applied for. she says "can you come in tomorrow at 10 a.m. for an interview with our general manager?" i get up early, put on a suit, go to kinko's to print out another copy of my resume, and my bf is nice enough to drive me out to the job site in woodland hills, on the other side of the san fernando valley. i get to the interview and meet with the guy, who says "oh, i'm not actually doing the hiring, but i'll fax over your resume to the person who is -- he's down in orange county today." the meeting lasted about five minutes. uh.

I was like "I DO NOT PLAY DRUMS ANYMORE" and he's like "But come on, you can't really lose it" and I'm like "YES YOU CAN. I HAVE NO CHOPS. I HAVEN'T PLAYED IN OVER A YEAR."

tbf, you really can't lose it. It might take a song or two, but that shit'll come right back.

BTW he hasn't had a job in several years for no apparent reason

The apparent reason might be that he's determined to play in a Mott the Hoople cover band

office assistant: 'ok just let me know yr availability so i can schedge a time'

self: 'blah blah any day after next tuesday, any time in the late afternoon'

o.a.: 'so how about thursday at 11 am?'

self: 'no ahem ^^^^^^'

o.a. falls silent for several days

It's worse getting one of those flipflops stuck in yr aashol etc ....

re "and things of that nature", an old friend of mine who I haven't seen for several years would often say "and whatnot-whatnot" (he was French, I don't know if this translates to an obvious French idiom?), which I found quite annoying at the time and have now come to miss very much

he also had another quirky pet phrase which I forget now, but I put that down to his Frenchness and then met an English person who said it, so maybe "whatnot-whatnot" is a thing too

staking out a spot near the stage because i'm short and can't see anything when tall dudes are in front of me

do you find that you do this and then 30 seconds into the first song some 7-foot dude stands right in front of you even if there is nobody else in the front half of the venue and he could totally stand p. much anywhere else and not block anyone's view

if this doesn't happen, then a photographer appears right in front of me, and I'm like, ok, it's a photographer, they need a good view of the stage so I can't complain. but they take 3 photos and then spend the rest of the show talking to someone right in front of me in their special photographer good-view spot

I should stop talking to myself but I guess the thing with being short in a crowd is that from a distance you look like a gap in the crowd, so people think "I am going to stand there, that's a good spot with nobody in" or "I'll take a route between the bar and the stage right through that gap I see there" and then they get there and you're in the gap but it's like, well, I'm here now

Flaky cheese

On the gig front, I always seem to stand in the (not so) sweet spot where there is a fuckin river of people walking back and forth to the bar or whatever, NO MATTER WHERE I STAND. I am alwasys pushed/jostled by people getting past, they arent doing it anywhere else nearby, they are always pushing RIGHT BY ME, getting in my way and making me move, FUCK OFF, Im standing here and I am NOT moving.

You'll laugh, but I had to queue with a friend in a line that was all boys bar me, and EVERYONE who needed to cut through chose to do so where I was standing. No men were inconvenienced or jostled, of course.

On the gig front, I always seem to stand in the (not so) sweet spot where there is a fuckin river of people walking back and forth to the bar or whatever,

I used to get this too, I found standing next to or in front of the sound desk helped, something to lean on too.
I decided never to stand in the middle at a gig ever again after someone knocked my pint over me, filling my pocket with my phone in full of beer.

I'm also pretty often at the spot where everyone walks through to get to the bar but that's cos I'm one of those annoying tall people that no-one wants to stand behind, therefore there is always space behind me.

I do like venues where I can stand in front of a sound desk like not_goodwin said, that way not only am I not in anyone's way but it also avoids that problem.

A manager at the last restaurant I worked at would say "segue" as a verbal tic a la "things of that nature." She would use it during meetings to switch topics, as in "Now let's segue into talking about uniforms," and randomly like, "The sorbet tonight is raspberry, and when that runs out, we'll segue into blood orange."

But the really annoying thing was that she mispronounced it as "sedge way."

for a long time I thought it rhymed with league

"segue into blood orange"

oh my lol

It's "Neu!", not "Nue!"
I bet you pronounce it that way too.

know yr availability so i can schedge a time'

...and there's one of mine.

One of my dearest friends was showing me how he had categorized all of his music folders by je-NAIR. Country, punk, rap... each je-NAIR with its own place.

Similar to someone I have known since college who pronounces "compilation" with a long "i."

I was like "I DO NOT PLAY DRUMS ANYMORE" and he's like "But come on, you can't really lose it" and I'm like "YES YOU CAN. I HAVE NO CHOPS. I HAVEN'T PLAYED IN OVER A YEAR."

tbf, you really can't lose it. It might take a song or two, but that shit'll come right back.

― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Thursday, June 6, 2013 11:34 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think you are missing the part of the story where I make clear that I really do not want to play with him.

- when I call in to check my work voicemail and enter my mailbox number when the robot lady says, "Please enter the mailbox number of the person you are calling" instead of waiting two seconds and pressing # when she then says, "If you have a mailbox on the system, press pound" and then end up leaving myself a voicemail when I meant to check the voicemail that somebody else left. Also the fact that there is even an option to enter the mailbox number of the person you are calling when you call the voicemail number because why wouldn't you just call the person's phone line? Also that you have to press # after you enter your password even though the robot lady doesn't tell you that. And finally, that you have to press "one" twice to get your messages when IMO the default should be that you are getting your messages and not dialing in to the voicemail system to randomly change your password or whatever.

- when people call and leave me voicemails instead of just emailing me.

We've got this cutsey vmail system that goes by "1 for yes, 2 for no" instead of assigning each of the nine digits to a category "press 7 to record your greeting", etc.

That's fine since "Play messages" is the first choice given, but when I do want to re-record my greeting, I have to press 2 to say no to four or five other options first. The fact that someone this was a good idea to make the workday easier on employees says a lot about this machine we call capitalism.

...and there's one of mine.

haha sorry pp she said it the normal person way i just spiced things up to make my story ring irrationally true

I keep trying to click one of the links at the bottom of Facebook and when I scroll down it keeps expanding the timeline & pushing the links further down off the screen. Does anyone know how to get around this???

p sure all the same things are at the bottom of the right-hand sidebar if you click on "more"

do you find that you do this and then 30 seconds into the first song some 7-foot dude stands right in front of you even if there is nobody else in the front half of the venue and he could totally stand p. much anywhere else and not block anyone's view

every. damn. time.

On the gig front, I always seem to stand in the (not so) sweet spot where there is a fuckin river of people walking back and forth to the bar or whatever, NO MATTER WHERE I STAND. I am alwasys pushed/jostled by people getting past, they arent doing it anywhere else nearby, they are always pushing RIGHT BY ME, getting in my way and making me move, FUCK OFF, Im standing here and I am NOT moving.

every. damn. time.

honestly this is pretty rational anger but it's minor so it goes here

I have an irl friend who works front of house for a concert promoter, so sees TONS of bands. She also travels pretty frequently on her own dime to go see bands O/S. She recently got back from seeing Depeche Mode in London. and she has another trip planned in October. but she will still make many FB posts between now and then that say 'Wahhh look at all the bands I'm going to be missing in October!" or 'Omg I can't believe I missed this show last week while I was in London'

it's not even that she sees a lot of bands - that's her life, and I tend to be that way too when I'm flush with $$. But it's the whining about not being able to see EVERYTHING all the time that drives me around the bend

Like it gets insanely OCD and I just wanna scream "knock it the fuck off, firstworldproblems!"

trees on the sidewalk with low branches at the level of my chest and it's raining and i gotta do the fuckin limbo to get past

Cars with no headlights on when it's raining.

'but i can see just fine'

Overheard at work:
A: "Maybe you're pregnant."
B: "Ha, that would be an Immaculate Conception."

Me: Nooooooooooooooooooooo.

Being behind cars with stupid bumper stickers.

i was at whole foods today and a man and a woman were in line behind me (couldn't tell if they were together or dad and daughter, guy was older) and the woman was complaining about waiting. the checkout person had to look up the number for chard for the customer in front of me in line and line waiter loudly said "SHE DON'T EVEN KNOW THE NUMBERS," then the woman got into the express line and the guy stayed in my line. but they were still together. so when the express line moved faster, the guy put his stuff on the counter! they were in two lines at the same time! assholes! oh also the store was not crowded and the lines were not long. i can't tolerate the grocery store behavior of others.

disgusting savages

At that point, harbl, I'd have turned around and said, "Doesn't. That woman *doesn't* know the numbers."

She don't even no her own language.

that's the sort of prescriptivism that makes me irrationally angry

yeah i would never, ever do that! i am not bothered by the use of don't instead of doesn't.

now i feel annoyed by myself, because i in no way meant to look down on her for her use of language, or point out her race (and here both white and black ppl use "don't" a lot, but she was black), but i think the bluntness of it was important to the anecdote. it would be SO SHITTY of me to taunt her for using english incorrectly, and i think would rightly be interpreted as racist. it's a perfectly grammatical sentence imo.

signed, wracked with white guilt in whole foods

Feel sorry for the cashier, TBH. Loud passive-aggressive criticism sucks, no matter who it's coming from, because a) it's childish and b) doesn't make the line move any faster. Probably wouldn't correct a black person/second language user in the situation, but the incident was originally presented without such details. It was presented as someone being shitty to a cashier in an upmarket store, safe in the knowledge that the cashier was unable to answer back.

Annoyed *with* yourself...

i wouldn't even know what chard looked like, let alone the number.

but the double queueing thing...

"Chard, what the fuck is chard," thought Noel, discarding the cookery book. "Chard? I'll not have that. Fucking nonsense is what it is," he said to himself, laughing at the very idea. "Fucking chard," he repeated, mentally. "I love the Rolling Stones," he thought. "Love them."

they were in two lines at the same time!

"Chard, what the fuck is chard," thought Noel, discarding the cookery book. "Chard? I'll not have that. Fucking nonsense is what it is," he said to himself, laughing at the very idea. "Fucking chard," he repeated, mentally. "I love the Rolling Stones," he thought. "Love them."

― spade ventura (wins), Saturday, 8 June 2013 20:16 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

:DDDDD

happy days...

shd have included the author in that c&p (I think it was LG?)

yeah LG

Liam...?

cinema was FULL of people with crunchy bags last night

who the fuck takes a crunchy bag to a cinema

what the hell is wrong with people

have you not been reading the ASMR thread

Probably wouldn't correct a black person/second language user in the situation, but the incident was originally presented without such details.

I mean...... a lot of white folks also speak in dialect that uses "don't" in place of "doesn't."

Thread now a net contributor to ia tbrr

Long situation last week cos I was trying to make sure a direct debit got paid. So paid it early then had things confused by there being a bank holiday in the interim between paying it and direct debit. So it got paid, cleared then got taken again. Looks like it would have been easier if I rang them and told them it had been paid, but I noticed the night before it got taken the 2nd time that my online account had it credited. & I assumed that if it was cleared then it would register as not needing to be taken again.
Then I ring them to get it straightened out and get told that I should ring my bank and get it stopped at that end which was bad advice and should really have been ignored. So i ring the bank and their phone which had been a freephone last time I'd noticed now charges me €2 for being put on hold. & I'm trying to work out if there is any point in cancelling the direct debit but go ahead with it and now need to make sure taht gets set up again before the service gets cut off or a deposit is asked for.
& I'm stil waiting to find out if further lessons are going to need to be learned from this mess. Bollox.

tagging, ok, fine, good to organize things

hashtagging, RAGE AT MY ENTIRE GENERATION AND THE WHOLE WORLD

also

'manifest your destiny'

- when people leave the sounds on their phone turned on. Not just the ringer, which is bad enough and really, anybody who keeps the ringer on their phone turned on when out in public is a disgusting savage, but text message alert sounds and email alert sounds and, god help me, the key clicks and other skeumorphic noises. Or game sounds. Sitting in a public waiting room and playing a game on your phone with the game sounds on should be an imprisonable offense.

I just have to wonder what people are thinking when they are like, "Yeah, my phone makes a clicking noise every time I press a key. That's great! I hope everybody on the train enjoys the nonstop noises coming from this device as much as I do." Or are they super duper clueless? I guess a least a percentage of them are deaf/hearing impaired and don't know the phone is making noise and I apologize to those people for this angry post.

yeah people who play phone games with loud game sounds on the subway make me want to grab the phone from their hand and throw it out the window

someone who's doing that is so clearly oblivious that they probably won't even notice

huh where did my slot machine game go, where am I

lol

Any accident befalling people who play slots on their phones can't come quickly enough. World, save yourself from shiny-shiny cartoon-eyes moron-magnet phone games.

The Stamps.com rep said I could have a scale delivered to an alternate address by calling the USPS with my tracking number.

The USPS' automated system offers no options for changing delivery address, and it makes it pretty much impossible to get to an operator. If I give the tracking number, it tells me that no further information or assistance is available, then "Thank you for using the US Postal Service. Goodbye."

If I say I don't have the tracking number: "Please call back when you have the tracking number. Thank you for using the US Postal Service. Goodbye."

Or, "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize your response. Thank you for using the US Postal Service. Goodbye."

they definitely told you USPS, and not UPS? I didn't think the postal service allowed much functionality with their tracking numbers anyway, except to determine delivery. But I've been wrong many times

Yes, USPS for sure b/c it's from Stamps.com.

It turns out the only packages you can re-route are ones sent by Express Mail, and mine was sent by Priority Mail.

jerks

Anyway, the absolutely infuriating part was being given one shot at getting help, then being told goodbye.

Please follow these important steps: Goodbye

the bagging area on the local supermarket robo-tills was so packed with their plastic bags that there wasn't enough space to balance all my purchases. it won't let you continue until everything you've swiped so far has been put on the scales.

(really not sure why it does this and it annoyingly means you can't put stuff directly into a backpack, say. which i always do.)

The use of the phrase "part-exing" in the We Buy Any Car advert. What, is "part-exchanging" too long a word for you?

To get a human at the USPS, start pressing 0 and don't stop. I learned that when I was trying to track down missing packages.

my wife is part of an informal mom's group in the neighborhood, and they text like FIENDS. This annoys both my wife, whose phone is blowing up all the time with nonsense, and me, because I tend to stay up later than my wife and they continue to text and text and I hear her text alerts every two minues. Also, we don't have an unlimited text plan, because we kept my wife's grandfathered unlimited data plan, which we figure is worth more than unlimited texts.

Anyway, to make things worse, she texted them to ask if they could stop texting her so much, because she's running out of texts, and several of them responded "I have unlimited texts." "Me too!" "Me too!" "Yeah, I also have unlimited texts!" DURRRRRRRR!

Anyway, the real reason to be irrationally angry is that the phone company forces you into this position in the first place.

You can solve one of those problems and make the world a better place by turning off the text alert noise.

yeah, I just don't want to do that and then forget to turn it back on and then my wife misses texts the next day

American cellphone calling plans drive me nuts. Who has any control over incoming calls or texts? Why are you expected to pay for them in any case?

there are many things about Verizon that make me, I think, quite rationally angry

yeah being angry at phone companies does not belong itt

group texting drives me bananas; same with group messaging on FB, where you get maybe 2 useful messages and the rest is
LOL OMG ME TOO
ME TOO AHAHAH
MEE TOO WEEE YAY
HAHA WEE OMG ME TOO
fuck right off with that shit, i'm turning off my notifications, removing myself from the conversation and wishing death on you and your family

^^^

OTM

yes, that is exactly what the moms' group texts are like! And anyone who knows my wife knows she does not suffer that kind of giddy nonsense gladly.

gah you broke my stride

heh I don't really get IA but one thing that gets to me on fb is ppl who put kisses at the end of literally every post, so more like
LOL OMG ME TOO xxx
ME TOO AHAHAH xxx
MEE TOO WEEE YAY x
HAHA WEE OMG ME TOO xxxxxx

STOP IT YOU WEIRDOS

that just means they are dtf

sim to people who "lol" to everything and include "lol" in messages that aren't humorous

I'm not bothered about the xx's but THANK [DEITY REDACTED] none of my friends text LOLs and other TLAs all the time.

"it's a text, jeremy! if text kisses were real kisses, the whole world would be an orgy!"

xxp

xxx

what is a tla and what's wrong with lol?

TLA: Three Letter Acronym.

Nowt wrong with LOL in the context of something actually being funny.

oic compulsive lols yea that is annoying lol

yeah it's just as a nervous tic that bothers me. Whenever I've gotten into a g-chat or text conversation that devolves into that, I start to feel like neither of us are sure whether either of us are being sincere.

lmao i hate tlas rofl

lol true

*says nothing*

group texting drives me bananas; same with group messaging on FB, where you get maybe 2 useful messages and the rest is
LOL OMG ME TOO
ME TOO AHAHAH
MEE TOO WEEE YAY
HAHA WEE OMG ME TOO
fuck right off with that shit, i'm turning off my notifications, removing myself from the conversation and wishing death on you and your family

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, June 10, 2013 4:47 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No beef, but if I had a nickel for every time I've clicked on a newly-updated bookmark only to find a lolz from ya vg, I'd at least have $5.

Most of them are lolz to witty and wry comments I've said, so you got a pass, but just saying.

ILX lols mean something, maaaaan.

lol

Veg gives good LOLs.

ahem the loling was not the point PP jeez

AND I COPPED TO IT RIGHT BEFORE YOU POSTED THAT SO THERE

:)

i hate typing on my phone and then the incessant lol'ing just kinda took over I'M SORRY but I am what I am

- emails from twitter to tell me the people I already follow on twitter have tweeted

"P___ L___, J___ P___, and 6 others have Tweets for you"

Yeah, that one drives me nuts too.

"Come abooooooard, we're expecting youuuuuuuuuuuuu"

LOL

^ I dedicate that post to pplains.

i find you to be most amusing, carl agatha

lulz

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m14bi1rFVe1rq535ko1_400.gif

I'm sure someone has mentioned this already but who really thinks i'm going to sit here and watch a pre-video Youtube advert that lasts between 1:40 and 3:59? If you don't tell me what your product is in the five seconds before i'm allowed to press "skip" i am never going to know what it is.

otm

similarly, 30-second ads (on other site) preceding clips that are only a couple minutes long at most.

the local speciality magazine shop claims to have 'over 4,000+ mags'

that's more than more than 4,000 mags

"cronuts"

More than 4,001

dunno whether the , operator has precedence there or what

pre-employment personality screenings. most of the questions are so ambiguous as to be meaningless, or else there's just no way to answer without looking like an asshole. the one that stuck out this morning was "do you agree that the police deserve more power?" (first of all: to do what? to whom?) if i say yes, i look like i'm advocating for some sort of martial-law big-government society. if i say no, i look like an anti-authoritarian occupy type who clearly has something to hide.

What job was that for?

ffs

also fuck anything that begins 'do you agree ____'

What job was that for?

a cooking job

lol. give em the power, they've earned it!

Xp to mookie. I tutor hs students in writing and the essay prompts they are assigned are like that--really vague and you need to accept a bunch of tenuous premises before you can even begin to answer them. One recent example: Do you think the American Dream is still alive?

i worked for a now-defunct bookstore chain in the late 90s that i'm told later used these half-assed questionnaires to screen candidates. one acquaintance of mine, who had been a manager at that very chain years earlier and was totally awesome, failed the test for reasons similar to the question you raised.

anyway i'm pretty sure that you pass by advocating for martial-law society

that police question sounds like a trap of some kind! maybe you have to answer honestly to avoid the trap.

'do you think' is v. different from 'do you agree'

i totally advocated for martial law btw

<3

The job application process can be degrading

the local speciality magazine shop claims to have 'over 4,000+ mags'

that's more than more than 4,000 mags

Similarly the often-used phrase along the lines of "We have up to 1 million Xs--or even more!"

So you mean you have OVER 1 million Xs?

i once saw a license plate holder that spelled the town of thousand oaks as "1,000 oaks."

that made me lol for some reason!

"hmm, one thousand oaks?"

it's a running joke with my bf and me. ONE THOUSAND OAKS

xp

29 Palms can kiss 1000 Oaks ass!

This conversation happens once every six months or so:

Me: "What's the weather like out there, around 75?

Dad: "Maybe 73."

Me: "...."

On Spotify, when you try to find original albums by major artists, the fact that you have to scroll through reams and reams of repackaged and rerecorded bullshit first. Also the fact that albums are sometimes listed by reissue date and sometimes by original release date.

^^^^

and you can't ctrl-f in spotify now

i wish you could browse more easily

sometimes idk what I want to listen to but I can't think of anything to search for

I have such love hate feelings about Spotify. I mean, I love it. I listen to so much more music as a result of it, but it's such a huge pain in the ass to use sometimes.

I follow lots of people and listen to whatever they are listening to. I also subscribe to a bunch of best of 2013 so far lists, which helps keep me from lapsing into an old lady hole where I only listen to opera and Led Zeppelin.

cinema was FULL of people with crunchy bags last night

who the fuck takes a crunchy bag to a cinema

same. also, this was a Tarkovsky film, so there was plenty of low giggling, cuz no Tarantino style "references."

however, this complaint is rational and does not belong in this thread.

xp yeah finding people with good taste and following them is how I avoid listening to the same thing over and over. Although if they also follow you then it's sort of embarrassing to ape them too much and you have to be stealthy about it.

another perfectly rational complaint: cars that don't start slowing down BEFORE they get to the crosswalk, so you the pedestrian have no idea whether they're actually going to stop. i never assume that they will stop, even though it's the law; they could be texting or fiddling with their ipods and completely oblivious to the red light.

I hadn't thought about trying to be stealthy so let me just tell DJP, n/a, maura, and jaymc right now that I pretty much listen to everything you listen to if I haven't already heard it. I'm listening to n/a's 2013 playlist right now.

recent IA's:

- if someone skypes me while my iphone is locked, and I unlock it to answer, it automatically answers with voice-only rather than letting me choose video. then I have to hang up the call and recall to do it as video and it's just like wwhhhhyyyy

- stores that let you swipe an ATM card, ask you to select what type of card and enter your pin, but then the cashier still has to ask you 'debit or credit'. Not so much IA at the cashier, they're just doing their job but IA at the stupid system itself

- ppl who stand around chatting in empty parking spaces at then give ME stinkeye because I'm waiting for them to move because it's THE ONLY FREE PARKING SPOT

I don't understand the 'debit or credit' thing, cos I have a bank card and I have never had a credit card and never will. I pretty much just chose which one at random.

really? debit to pull directly from savings ie using a pin #, credit to put on visa/mastercard with a signature

I was never on the receiving end of this, but I worked as a cashier at a store that accepted EBT but didn't differentiate between food and cash benefits. if a customer brought food and non-food items to the register and hit the EBT button on the keypad, the system would automatically deduct food and cash benefits from the customer's account whether they wanted it that way or not. the only way to process the food separately was for the cashier to mentally tabulate the food total and type that in as a subtotal before the customer swiped their card, after which they would have to swipe their card again to pay the remaining balance for the non-food items. of course the supervisors explained none of that to the cashiers during training, so it was a huge, inexplicable mess when the situation first came up.

As far as I know it all has to do with what sort of merchant fees the businesses have to pay for each type of transaction.

Most of the time businesses can run my ATM / debit card (with a Visa logo on it) as either, and some places I ask if it's easier one way or the other. Like the food co-op prefers credit if it's under like $15 and debit if it's over. Some others have "we run debit as credit" signs and you only have the signature option.

oh (xpost to me), and since the government only authorizes a store to take EBT if it sells perishable food in two different food groups, our store created a "produce department" consisting of nothing but a little basket of loophole lemons, which slowly rotted while they fulfilled their legal obligation. I think I sold one lemon in the entire time I worked there.

but that's more lol than ia

I don't understand that at all. "Cash benefits" = welfare and EBT = food stamps?

Chase had a thing where you got cash back for purchases where you ran your debit card as credit (signature, non-PIN). I got about $60 back in less than a year before the SEC or something shut down the program.

"Initializing root folders" when I go to save an attachment from my work email. Argh. That process can take up to a couple minutes. Fuck.

web-based widget that I have to use to log daily returns. there's a 3-step process to rejecting items, and they all tie together -- change the qty to ZERO, select a reason for the rejection, and add comments if necessary.

every time I change a quantity to zero it gives me an error message saying YOU HAVEN'T SUBMITTED A REASON YET but if you submit the rejection reason first it says YOU HAVEN'T REJECTED ANY ITEMS YET and I'm just like okay whoever programmed this just likes creating error messages because this is some bullshit. simmer the fuck down and LEMME FINISH

Ha, our time tracking software requires entries be rounded to the nearest 10. If you enter a start and stop time that naturally results in a time entry already rounded to the nearest 10 and try to submit it, you get an error message saying that you have to round the entry to the nearest ten. If you re-type the entry exactly as it already was, you can submit it.

lol wtf

Toys that beg to be played.

I'm cleaning up, throw something on the pile, and from underneath, this dump truck starts rocking back and forth, yelling "All right, let's PLAY!"

It makes some honking sounds, some diesel noises while I pick up other shit. After awhile, it starts saying, "Are you still there? Let's PLAY!...... All right, I'll count to three. 1 - 2 -3. .... ... *Yawn* I'm getting sleepy. Wake me up if you want to PLAY...... ZZZ....zzzz.... ZZZZZ.....zzzz

This is especially fun late at night when I'm picking stuff up.

I would have the batteries out of that thing in nanoseconds.

When I was growing up, my father somewhat obsessively pulled all mechanical noise-making parts out of my toys (and would pull the squeakers out of the dog's toys). He would also complaint that The Electric Company was too loud and made kids hyper.

This weekend, I was watching a TV show in which someone else was watching Sponge Bob Square Pants and I nearly climbed the walls, that show was so LOUD and HYPER, and that was filtered through the show we were actually watching. I also hide all the cat's toys that make noise. So yes, the shrill, recorded voices of nagging children's toys would not nag long in my presence.

I was gonna say after that first paragraph, you got it honest in that regard.

2nd paragraph, rather

spongebob is the best

I would have the batteries out of that thing in nanoseconds.

Well. carl agatha, that presents another IA.

http://tintinwulia.com/tintinwulia/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/toy1_1.jpg

It's going to take more than nanoseconds.

son of a

I was gonna say after that first paragraph, you got it honest in that regard.

― Je55e, Monday, June 17, 2013 6:18 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ikr? He was also pathologically grossed out by grape gum, which if you will recall from the "Grapermellon" days, is another weird aversion of his I seem to have inherited.

pplains, you have my deepest sympathies.

spongebob is the best

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, June 17, 2013 6:20 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If I could turn down the shrill the way you can desaturate a color in Photoshop, I might be able to handle more than 30 seconds of the show. The other time I was exposed to it was in NC when we were at Kings Dominion or whatever the big amusement park is down there and they were playing SBSP in line for a ride and I remember it being unbearable then, too.

Carowinds

That's right.

I got a little sad that you forgot that.

You'll be okay.

I was in a grocery store one time where this toddler was screeching her idiot little head off just to be making noise. She would use whole breaths to let out ultra high pitched screeches that gave me a fight-not-flight reaction. And her idiot mom's reaction? Total adoration: "What are you singing? Hmm? You sing really good, honey! You're a good singer!"

you should come hang out at my apartment for a weekend sometime

I get that kids scream, but it was the mother's ENCOURAGEMENT that stuck with me. Not just encouragement, but special-snowflake stroking.

And I'll come stay at your place the first weekend in July. Thanks.

I think she was just mocking her child.

She was not mocking her child!

I think she was just mocking you.

noize toddler

been semi-irrationally angry all dang day

TOO MANY PEOPLE

TOO MUCH BULLSHIT

NOT ENOUGH LOVE

I was like that yesterday, CZ! Sucks. SO mad at everything. Zero patience. I highly recommend 20mgs of hydrocodone + snuggling with a 3 year old and a lil grey kitten to pull you right out of that.

She was not mocking her child!

― Je55e, Monday, June 17, 2013 4:41 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

IDK, there are exhausted moments where you resort to this kind of resigned half-sarcasm with a toddler because you know they won't listen if you tell them to stop. "Thank you for throwing all of your egg on the floor!" etc.

haha yeah definitely. ive said something along the lines of "oh you're throwing your trash/toys/food/clothes on the floor. well, of course you are. where else would they go?" a bunch of times lately but i always feel shitty about being sarcastic. way too close to bitter for my liking.

I feel confident that she was not using sarcasm. I understand sarcasm and I thought somebody would suggest I was misinterpreting her praise as sarcasm, but she wasn't being sarcastic. In fact, I think she said, "I sincerely love your scream-singing, Diamanda!"

Admit it you just hate children and parents.

TOO MANY PEOPLE

TOO MUCH BULLSHIT

NOT ENOUGH LOVE

OTM x3

--Bob Marley

haha

Not quite IA, rather just moderate annoyance: Called the bike shop to schedule service and the manager who answered was obviously trying to multi-task b/c he kept pausing and barely audibly counting: "Twenty, thirty, thirty-five, forty..... Yeh, so you can come in tomorrow, we're open, uh, and uh..... sixty, eighty..... and, uh..... so yeh, tomorrow is fine."

That's when you're supposed to mutter "Ninety-five, ninety, eighty-five, seventy..."

When I'm scanning site new answers and see a thread that looks like it might be interesting only to find out it's on ILM and the interesting concept/discussion point is the name of some band I've never heard of.

yeah I was really looking forward to that weekend when we'd all be vampires :(

Wings: classic or dud?

carl otm!

Carl, you can adjust your site new answers settings to not show ILM threads.

No no this isn't to do with not wanting to read ILM, it's to do with being disappointed that Is there a thread for playing God? and Thread of Disclosure are just about some boring bands.

There are quite a few that catch me every time:

• Life Without Buildings

• The United States Of america (Always get this confused with a similar gr8080 map thread.)

And I've slowly learned that Swell Maps is a band.

I get that with sports boards, some of those have great thread titles. I should probably filter them out as I have no desire to participate, but every so often you get an amusing diversion.

Thread of Disclosure

That's the one that prompted me to make that post!!!!

I get enough value out of ILM that I don't want to hide it, but I did hide all the sports threads (except I Love Hoops) for that reason.

I changed the colors of new answers - ILE and 77 blue, the rest grey.

I follow a variety of businesses and services on Twitter. It makes me IA when they continually just RT other people saying good things about them instead of actually offering useful information about their product or service. Worst yet, they don't use the Twitter supplied RT function, they just manually RT, so I can't block it using Tweetbot. Despite this, I keep following them because occasionally they actually offer useful information.

oooh yeah what jesse said

white goods that lie about their cycles

i started a 30-minute quick wash 25 minutes ago, and it's saying it's got 17 minutes to go

actually that's not irrational, wtf am i talking about

new-fangled nylon shoelaces in nike sneakers that will. not. fucking. stay. tied.

GODDAMN YOU *cries*

i don't know if this is IA or just something that always makes me rmde, but i wish that in band press releases, wikipedia profiles, old-timey myspaces, interviews etc, every instance of "_______ is inspired by" or "_______ is influenced by" would be replaced with "_________ claims to be inspired/influenced by". what follows is always some obligatory and eccentrically diverse grocery list of every single artist the band generally agrees to listen to in their van or w/e. and i just don't believe that you guys are really thinking that hard about prince (ALWAYS PRINCE), elliott smith and laurie anderson when you're recording. bands don't really work like that do they? "whoa we gotta lower the depeche mode and amp up the bikini kill a bit! AND KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR PRINCE LEVELS"

some probably do, even to that extent. but probably not most.

when people use "entitled" as the short-form version of "has a sense of entitlement."

I didn't even know that made me IA, but now you've said it, I realize that it does.

- Google kept bugging me to use my real name on YouTube, so I deleted my YouTube account, which was created under a pseudonym. Now Google has kindly created me a replacement YouTube account... using my real name.
- My anger is rational and justified.

Jesus so apparently by deleting the pseudonymous YouTube account I tacitly gave Google permission to use my real name on YouTube. I tried to log out of YouTube, but that logged me out of gmail, and when I logged back in and went to YouTube to see what happened, it reset the privacy settings.

I fucking hate Google.

google is getting so pushy and creepy now

The Google/YouTube thing is 50x the clusterfuck the Yahoo/Flickr thing was.

My main problem with the Yahoo/Flickr thing was that I could never remember my Yahoo ID or password because it's fucking Yahoo and I hadn't used it since 2002.

The company i work for switched all corporate e-mail accounts to gmail so half the time i don't even know if i'm using my work ID or my personal ID for stuff that isn't e-mail. Not that i'd ever use it, but my Google circles / Google + stuff is half music journalists / Serbian popstars and half managing directors of language schools all mixed up together.

My main problem with the Yahoo/Flickr thing was that I could never remember my Yahoo ID or password because it's fucking Yahoo and I hadn't used it since 2002.

― carl agatha, Thursday, June 20, 2013 7:50 AM (57 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^

yeah that was super confusing and annoying for a short period during the switch over.

Google/YouTube thing is the worst but the most awful part is that it puts your google profile pic under the video, at the top of the comments, so at a glance it looks like you wrote all that stupid shit

Jeff managed to disconnect the YouTube account from my name, thankfully.

The time will soon come when I ditch Gmail altogether and it will be a glorious day.

i got totally locked out of my YT account when the google thing happened

one one hand google is downranking pages that throw up a 'DOWNLOAD OUR APP' doorslam, on the other it's doing this wretched youtube doorslam that doesn't even have a close button

white goods that lie about their cycles

i started a 30-minute quick wash 25 minutes ago, and it's saying it's got 17 minutes to go

This very much. I was hand-washing some clothes the other day in the laundry and saw the countdown timer on the washing machine (on an 15-minute wash) jump from 4 minutes left back upto 11 minutes.

that one guy who beats you to the atm by half a second and farts around for four hours

also see: the TAP machines in the l.a. metro

and it's always retirement-age tourists who are terrified, nay, THREATENED by technology.

if retirement-age.tourists are trying to ride the metro you should fuckin cherish them imo

tv torrents that keep the "previously on" but cut off the end credits. idgi

i like end credits darnit

There's this place called imdb, ya know.

But I'm the same way, especially with this trend of squeezing the credits to half the screen and scrolling them twice as fast.

ugh I hate that

i don't care about reading the credits, i just don't like things ending so abruptly. also i have a tiny attention span when i'm watching on the computer and i'm always aware of exactly how far into the ep i am (and in movies, i hate doing this) and i spend like the last two minutes with this weird anticipation thing going on where subconsciously my brain's like "when's it gonna end, how many shots are left how long is this one gonna be" cause i'm weird and it makes me anxious and isn't an issue when credits are involved

but really it's like, you did this thing where you personally spliced off the credits at just the right moment as, i guess, a favor, but what's the point, what purpose does that serve

haha any complaint that begins with 'torrents' is automatically ia

the carafe for our coffee maker. the lid has a little dot on it, and you need to position that dot over the center of the spout for it to pour. but if you are even 1/8th of an inch off alignment, it will dribble coffee everywhere.

i can't be expected to be THAT precise first thing in the morning, goddammit

otm. appliances that expect you to work around their lazy design choices are the worst.

the dishwasher in this place has four washing modes (1, 2, 3, 4), but they're not increasing in time or rigour, they're just arbitrary numbers, e.g. 2 is eco wash and 3 is pots or something. it's also got a load of indicator lights that mean the following:

- a broom sort of thing: the cycle hasn't started yet
- an arrow pointing to a line: the cycle has finished
- a sun: we have no idea what that means
- a big S made of bendy arrows: again, absolutely no idea

meanwhile the rest of the universe can make a dishwasher that isn't baffling. idgi.

Sun = air drying the dishes? (as with laundry)

My work kitchen got this thing and everytime I see it, I'm alll aw for fucks sake what the shitl

http://i.imgur.com/gpwnA5l.jpg

"Tearing paper towels off the roll used to be so hard."

lol is it electric

Solar powered.

I kid, but excellent question.

my grandmother bought an electric one for my mother and she has to trot it out every time she visits

Sun = air drying the dishes? (as with laundry)

― nickn, Saturday, 22 June 2013 09:11 (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i just downloaded a manual (incidentally the company slogan is in COMIC SANS): the sun thing is a rinse aid indicator

nothing says 'rinse aid' like a sun

What is the S w/ bendy arrows?

otm. appliances that expect you to work around their lazy design choices are the worst.

the dishwasher in this place has four washing modes (1, 2, 3, 4), but they're not increasing in time or rigour, they're just arbitrary numbers, e.g. 2 is eco wash and 3 is pots or something. it's also got a load of indicator lights that mean the following:

- a broom sort of thing: the cycle hasn't started yet
- an arrow pointing to a line: the cycle has finished
- a sun: we have no idea what that means
- a big S made of bendy arrows: again, absolutely no idea

meanwhile the rest of the universe can make a dishwasher that isn't baffling. idgi.

― Autumn Almanac, Friday, 21 June 2013 22:27 (Yesterday) Permalink

My dishwasher has a "Normal Wash" and "Speed Wash" setting. The speed wash takes half the time. Why the fuck is there a normal wash setting if it can clean the dishes in half the time? Unless the speed wash is half-assed, in which case, why have it?

ikr? bizarre

What is the S w/ bendy arrows?

a salt indicator, apparently

i don't even know what salt is doing near a dishwasher

"time to salt the dishes, luv"

xp
Hardness of the water maybe?

And speed wash is probably for recently used/not very dirty dishes where normal is for dried-on food/extra greasy dishes.

it's for washing yr meth

As in, add salt to your water softener.

ah right

AA's dishwasher is cracking me up.

I'm surprised it doesn't have a diesel indicator lol

it has an on/off button

so its available states are:

- washing
- not washing
- not washing and also switched off

the only difference between on and off is that the broom light lights up

and watch out for salt

on that, i don't know whether the salt light means there is salt or there isn't salt

or too much salt, or a salt accident

Mine has a "normal" button. Wouldn't it be great if everything had one of those? ACK!

the only difference between on and off is that the broom light lights up

lolol

AA honestly I really can't imagine you with any other kind of dishwasher

bahahaha

http://i.imgur.com/Gnc9wLk.jpg

it's rusty because we're in a rental. the glob of snot is actually blu-tack, to remind 'er indoors which inscrutable light means 'finished'

I see Play and Pause, where is Record?

That dishwasher heavily implies that you can record shit off of it

XP!!!!!!

mr veg said it looks like an Apple OS dishwasher

it's making me laugh

loool the broom

but this dishwasher goes to 4!

That's a rake, not a broom.

I think it rakes up all the broken dish pieces at the bottom of the dishwasher

That's not even a rake, it's one of those things you see kept on the side of a sandtrap.

http://www.runnerduck.com/images/zen_garden.jpg

"oh yeah, i need to do the dishes."

http://www.colourbox.com/preview/1712339-636594-darts-arrow-flying-in-the-center-of-dartboard-against-the-white-background.jpg

ah, the dishwasher has finished

http://www.cybercauldron.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/big-orange-sun-4.jpg

holy shit i need rinse aid

fwiw I have trouble even decoding the laundry care symbols on clothing tags

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--pYUspsTF-0/UKPUZNdApjI/AAAAAAAABgE/zbPSmClBXeE/s400/super_s_6.jpg

God, Susie Oatmeal was so hot in 7th grade.

My car has this light on the dashboard:
http://repairpal.com/images/managed/content_images/encyclopedia/warning_lights/Tire_Pressure_Amber.jpg

Who can guess what it's indicating?

insufficient tyre pressure

^^ I know this only because I've had to look it up.

you ppl with your 'dishwashers'

Second only to air-conditioning. I lived like a caveman for 28 years, apparently.

I saw it on the test drive, and when I asked the dealer he said something like, "Why would anyone assume that that's supposed to be a tire pressure warning?"

It also comes on all the time, regardless of whether or not I reset it, so I've gotten used to ignoring it. I'll know a tire is low when it's flat.

xp

I just figured it had something to do with tire problems. What kind weren't very explicit.

You know, your tires will last longer, and you'll drive safer and more comfortably, if you check the pressure once in a while! It won't kill you, I promise.

Compressed air is like 25 cents at the gas station/car wash.

Actually, just realized, that's not the warning light my car has. It's got the outline of the tire, but instead of an exclamation point, it has this:

<-•->

I do check the pressure, but the warning light is conspiring with the rest of my 13-year-old car's failing electrical system to confuse me.

when it gets cold here that tire pressure indicator comes on without fail every morning, and turns off when the tires warm up halfway to work.

You know, your tires will last longer, and you'll drive safer and more comfortably, if you check the pressure once in a while! It won't kill you, I promise.

Fair enough, but trying to figure out a squared-off U with spikes and an exclamation point in the middle does not necessarily illustrate your point.

pretty much otm

speaking of cars, not long after we bought the car we tried to pop the hood for something or other...and couldn't for the life of us find the release inside the car. we crawled around on the floor peering under the dash for ages, until one of us conceded defeat and consulted the manual

oh yeah of course

it's ANKLE HEIGHT way down next to the door where it should be O_o.

Sounds like you have a Toyota, too.

First time I saw that thing was after making a sharp turn up a hill in cold weather.
http://i.imgur.com/HhIw7aE.png
It did not immediately correspond to me that had something to do with tire pressure.

xpost Honda

"same mother different father", as they would say in Oz :)

I still can't get into Sunny's VW trunk unless I'm tearing apart backseats from the inside.

And yes, I'm still talking about motor vehicles, stfu.

My car has this light on the dashboard:
http://repairpal.com/images/managed/content_images/encyclopedia/warning_lights/Tire_Pressure_Amber.jpg

Who can guess what it's indicating?

― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Saturday, 22 June 2013 03:32 (31 minutes ago) Permalink

your arse crack is showing?

My car is telling me what my friends and coworkers are too embarrassed to confront me about.

God, Susie Oatmeal was so hot in 7th grade.

― pplains, 2013年6月22日 星期六 下午1:29 (36 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't understand this but i cannot stop laughing

In every graphical representation of a tire/tyre going flat since the early 30s, it has been from the side-view.

Why any automaker thought that an inside look from the back/front would work, I have no idea.

"same mother different father", as they would say in Oz :)

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, June 21, 2013 11:57 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha, yeah, I used to work in an auto salvage yard, and found that hood-opening strategies were remarkably consistent within continents. Most American cars have a t-shaped dealie you have to pull, and European cars have a lever way higher, almost at knee height.

AA, I can't explain it. Maybe these people can: http://www.printmag.com/imprint/solve-the-mystery-of-the-pointy-s/

In every graphical representation of a tire/tyre going flat since the early 30s, it has been from the side-view.

Why any automaker thought that an inside look from the back/front would work, I have no idea.

― pplains, 2013年6月22日 星期六 下午2:07 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

'warning: your tyre has been sliced neatly in half, you should consider stopping the car'

xp that is really bizarre

In every graphical representation of a tire/tyre going flat since the early 30s, it has been from the side-view.

Why any automaker thought that an inside look from the back/front would work, I have no idea.

― pplains, 2013年6月22日 星期六 下午2:07 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

'warning: your tyre has been sliced neatly in half, you should consider stopping the car'

xp that is really bizarre

― Autumn Almanac, Friday, June 21, 2013 11:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink