("wacky"/weird news does not apply)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donald-j-trump/my-new-golf-course-a-sour_b_323741.html
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Saturday, 17 October 2009 08:05 (3 years ago) Permalink
I was mentioned in the Press & Journal once - that should give you an idea of how prestigious Mr Trump's historian is.
Anyway, is that entire site an Onion parody?
― Ismael Klata, Saturday, 17 October 2009 10:38 (3 years ago) Permalink
lol comments
"As a leader of Intimacy Retreats and the author of Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day, I always recommend that couples schedule time for intimacy."
― banned, on the run (s1ocki), Saturday, 17 October 2009 14:56 (3 years ago) Permalink
While over 90% of the locals, politicians, businesses and top historians support my project\\
lol
― Ned Trifle II, Saturday, 17 October 2009 15:02 (3 years ago) Permalink
LOL at that trump article
― a perfect urkel (gbx), Saturday, 17 October 2009 15:20 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.thedeclaration.org/article/more-just-secondhand-news
I know what you’re thinking. I don’t want to read another review of that frickken Phish show! Plus I can totally download the concert for free off the internet. HELLZ NO. Last week, I saw Fleetwood Fucking Mac, and it was the greatest night of my life, and I’m going to tell you all about how much it ruled.
― ian, Friday, 20 November 2009 03:42 (3 years ago) Permalink
― f1ocki (s1ocki), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:05 (3 years ago) Permalink
also file under "shit that looks like a hipster runoff post but isn't"
― f1ocki (s1ocki), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:06 (3 years ago) Permalink
file under 'headlines that would've made absolutely no sense to anyone 15 years ago'
― i am a big fan of japanese women (donna rouge), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:25 (3 years ago) Permalink
"Fast-growing public fighting memes" is a pretty big category.
― Dark Notion (Abbott), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:26 (3 years ago) Permalink
can you imagine actually reading an explanation of why this particular public fight meme has had an accelerated rate of adoption compared to other public fight memes?
― f1ocki (s1ocki), Saturday, 20 February 2010 18:32 (3 years ago) Permalink
Is there even another public fight meme other than bumfights? I remember that grew pretty fast...
― As your Dentist I recommend smoking: (Viceroy), Saturday, 20 February 2010 19:03 (3 years ago) Permalink
pretty much every article by the DPRK's news service
― we like the cars. the cars that go burbbhrbhbbhbburbbb. (los blue jeans), Saturday, 20 February 2010 19:41 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.forbes.com/2010/02/23/flint-autos-toyota-business-recall.html?boxes=Homepagelighttop
― pithfork (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 23:16 (3 years ago) Permalink
― pithfork (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 23 February 2010 23:17 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/309172,report-taxi-driver-remake-mulled-by-scorcese-von-trier.html
― that guy who doesn't get it but doesn't know he doesn't get it (M.V.), Wednesday, 24 February 2010 14:04 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-silicone-bullet25-2010feb25,0,1532754.story
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 February 2010 03:42 (3 years ago) Permalink
no, von trier, nooooooo!
― Nhex, Thursday, 25 February 2010 04:54 (3 years ago) Permalink
― badg, Thursday, 25 February 2010 05:14 (3 years ago) Permalink
Grandpa Wins $10000 iTunes Gift Card
― this is awful I want Togo home (harbl), Friday, 26 February 2010 12:44 (3 years ago) Permalink
"Socially alert student poet unimpressed by conformity"
― fat ass idiot butt munch (PappaWheelie V), Friday, 26 February 2010 18:12 (3 years ago) Permalink
I would like to see von Trier incorporate all these stories into his Taxi Driver remake.
― that guy who doesn't get it but doesn't know he doesn't get it (M.V.), Friday, 26 February 2010 18:16 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254205/High-noon-Stamford-Bridge-John-Terry-comes-face-face-man-betrayed-shake-hands.html
The entire dailymail site had some choice cuts but I went with this one.
― RubyNoir, Saturday, 27 February 2010 16:33 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/pennsylvania/20100228_Thieves_take_jewelry__leave_child_at_Phila__store.html
― StanM, Sunday, 28 February 2010 20:07 (3 years ago) Permalink
lol @ comments on stan's article.
― ABBAcab (Trayce), Sunday, 28 February 2010 20:50 (3 years ago) Permalink
i like to read this thread title like:
shit! that looks like an onion article but isn't
― bracken free ditch (Ste), Sunday, 28 February 2010 21:07 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/03/22/real.men.eat.salad/index.html?hpt=Mid
(CNN) -- Real men eat salads. I know this because I am a dude. Right now, in my fridge, I have five bottles of hot sauce, a jar of Cheez Whiz and half a pack of hot dogs. But recently I went to lunch with a couple of buds, and I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard.
It was a basic frissée salad with bacon, shallots and a poached egg, tossed in a light vinaigrette. Frissée is a curly, toothsome leaf, bitter enough to balance bacon and egg but still possessed of a pleasant spring.
My friends laughed at me. They pointed. One ordered a burger, the other fried calamari. I was chastised for not eating "man food."
For those of you who aren't familiar with this gender normative term, "man food" is food that you'd imagine a lumberjack or a cowboy or a Viking would eat. Towers of butter-soaked pancakes. Pots of napalm-hot chili. Meat on a bone.
Thoroughly unsubtle, "man food" is rustic fare meant to satisfy a hearty appetite. Quantity is prized over quality. Calories are "fun points." The more "fun points," the tastier the belly filler.
But sometimes a dude needs a change. Specifically, a salad. A fresh, crisp, crunchy salad. Salads offer breathers between manly meals. Spinach, cucumber, tomato, red onions, mushrooms, chickpeas, oil and vinegar -- that is my usual jam.
I don't need any fancy, goopy dressings compromising my vegetables. (What does a ranch actually taste like, anyway?) Sometimes, I might throw some almonds or walnuts up in there. I've been known to be down with blueberries and mandarin oranges. I like bacon or grilled chicken on occasion. I am not a fan of unnecessary carbs like croutons. And then there are those moments I go crazy and get a frissée freakin' salad.
I didn't evolve without help. There was a time where, if I cut myself shaving, I'd bleed sausage gravy. My heart squeezed more than it pumped. And I also grew what I call "fat wings."
Luckily, the woman I was dating at that time didn't like any of those things. Being able to sit in a bathtub full of buffalo wings is every dude's birthright, but I eventually learned that being attractive for your significant other is also pretty manly.
My girlfriend was a smart woman and didn't bring up my devolving into a human biscuit. What she did was announce that we were going to save money so that Saturday nights, we could go to the local barbecue joint and destroy some cow with our faces.
Obviously, my first thought was, "Aww, she wants me to help her lose weight." So I humored her. She came home from the supermarket with a stack of plastic disposable containers. In each, she put one potential salad ingredient. Not only the ones that would become my favorite but kidney beans, green peppers, corn and pepperoni slices.
She created a mini-salad bar in our fridge. It was easy, and I was told I could eat as much as I wanted. This became my lunch and occasional dinner.
You know what? We saved money. I lost weight. Gained energy. And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.
I kept this up this salad-centric diet for months. My friends would come over to watch a fight or brawl on the PlayStation, and I'd meet them at the door with a salad in my hand.
The landlord would need my help with some drywall; I'd put my salad down.
At work, I'd articulate corporate strategy during lunch meetings spearing cucumbers in my lucky bowl of awesome salad. I made eating salad sexy. I made it macho, macho.
Is it rabbit food? Friend, if it's rabbit food, then that rabbit is the size of a ferocious bear.
My friends poked fun at me as I munched on my fancy salad. It was tasty. I love how the warm yolk from the poached egg lightly coated the frissée, adding a dimension of hardiness to a dish with such leafy bounce. And the bacon chunks added just the right amount of fatty salt, more sturdy ballast. I wiped my mouth.
We were out celebrating one guy's birthday. The other guy, an old friend from college, was "in-between gigs." It had been another tough year. "Salad is not man food," they mocked. Oh, but it is. I ordered a final round of beers. Then I picked up the check.
Are salads manly? What is the manliest salad? Are you the sort of guy who wouldn't touch a salad if a gun was put to his head? Tell us in the comments whether you think salads can count as "man food."
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:33 (3 years ago) Permalink
where to start
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:38 (3 years ago) Permalink
I love how the warm yolk from the poached egg lightly coated the frissée, adding a dimension of hardiness to a dish with such leafy bounce. And the bacon chunks added just the right amount of fatty salt, more sturdy ballast. I wiped my mouth.
YUM YUM
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:38 (3 years ago) Permalink
Is that an Anderson Cooper piece?
― FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT! FIST FIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT! (milo z), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:40 (3 years ago) Permalink
Being able to sit in a bathtub full of buffalo wings is every dude's birthright
Who does this?
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:41 (3 years ago) Permalink
why doesnt he just call it a salad lyonnaise
― max, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:42 (3 years ago) Permalink
good salad btw--i saw jacques pepin make one once on PBS, he poached the egg in like 2 inches of olive oil
― max, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:43 (3 years ago) Permalink
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, March 23, 2010 4:38 PM
I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard. I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard.
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:44 (3 years ago) Permalink
"Salad is not man food," they mocked. Oh, but it is. I ordered a final round of beers. Then I picked up the check.
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:45 (3 years ago) Permalink
pooping before bathing in your tub of buffalo wings
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:46 (3 years ago) Permalink
but what about:
And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:46 (3 years ago) Permalink
And my girlfriend and I, well, let's just say we had the whoopee time.
xpost HA!
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:46 (3 years ago) Permalink
Calories are "fun points." The more "fun points," the tastier the belly filler.
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:47 (3 years ago) Permalink
"""""""""fun points"""""""""
this guy needs to advertise his services, like:
john devore, a local "dude," will talk to you about what is manly and how it is different from what you might think.
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:48 (3 years ago) Permalink
first of all, i want to know why this is on cnn.com? what is the market for this? do people read articles on cnn.com aside from actual news?
secondly, how is it that articles like this get pitched/accepted/assigned like... 5 years after a meme like "man food" became a "thing". if you had shown the text of this to me undated i would've been all "no way this was written after 2005, not a chance"
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:48 (3 years ago) Permalink
had no idea that calories were fun points. i mean, i like fun!
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:49 (3 years ago) Permalink
http://www.esquire.com/blogs/lists/reasons-why-chocolate-drink-yoohoo-rocks-blog
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:49 (3 years ago) Permalink
Maybe once age and decrepitude have strip-mined by palette, I'll think about swilling a Yoo-Hoo. The risk-taking of a convalescent. But even then, I doubt I'll wrap my wrinkled lips around a Yoo-Hoo jar.
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/lists/reasons-why-chocolate-drink-yoohoo-rocks-blog#ixzz0j2EUvn70
someone get howie long to comment on this
― ☀☃ (am0n), Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:50 (3 years ago) Permalink
uuuuuuuuuuughh did he really say "whoopee time" -- was this even edited? C'MON MAN
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:50 (3 years ago) Permalink
okay, so maybe it's satire!
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:51 (3 years ago) Permalink
maybe?
no
― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 23 March 2010 20:51 (3 years ago) Permalink
"among other things"
aw :/
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Monday, 26 November 2012 23:57 (6 months ago) Permalink
so i saw this "killer karaoke" thing on fb today and am wondering if that is real or onion-y or what?
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/11/26/3114359/man-who-died-during-roach-eating.html
― elan, Tuesday, 27 November 2012 05:34 (6 months ago) Permalink
i guess the u.s. is still in a depression huh
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/11/28/is-praying-for-a-lottery-win-frowned-upon-depends-on-who-you-ask/
― abanana, Thursday, 29 November 2012 07:56 (5 months ago) Permalink
http://gothamist.com/2012/12/05/red_cross_drops_off_trashbag_of_ham.php
Red Cross Delivers Trashbag Of Broken Hamburgers To Sandy Victims
― drunk 'n' white's elements of style (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:49 (5 months ago) Permalink
haha jeez
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:52 (5 months ago) Permalink
my heart wants to believe that those came from the mitt romney non-campaign event
― i dream of booze pinata (jjjusten), Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:53 (5 months ago) Permalink
maybe it's some kind-of "art prank" like what this guy did: 'Hamburglar' Artist Throws Gnawed Cheeseburgers at People From Bike
― Spectrum, Wednesday, 5 December 2012 19:58 (5 months ago) Permalink
Sean Penn blasts fellow actors for putting money before arthttp://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/dec/14/sean-penn-blasts-fellow-actors
― wolves lacan, Friday, 14 December 2012 18:57 (5 months ago) Permalink
― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Friday, 14 December 2012 21:07 (5 months ago) Permalink
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2012/12/18/quebec-theft-maple-syrup-court.html8M Quebec maple syrup heist leads to arrestsMaple syrup seized in Quebec theft probe to be releasedQuebec police conduct 2nd maple syrup raidMaple syrup seized in N.B. may have been stolen in QuebecPolice search warehouse for missing maple syrup
― silverfish, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:13 (5 months ago) Permalink
whoops, first one should have been
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2012/12/18/quebec-theft-maple-syrup-court.html8M Quebec maple syrup heist leads to arrests
― silverfish, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:15 (5 months ago) Permalink
$18M Quebec maple syrup heist leads to arrests
― silverfish, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 21:16 (5 months ago) Permalink
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/drive-thru-prank-leaves-workers-questioning-reality-214808352.html
for the headline
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 17 January 2013 03:12 (4 months ago) Permalink
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21043693
A security check on a US company has reportedly revealed one of its staff was outsourcing his work to China.
The software developer, in his 40s, is thought to have spent his workdays surfing the web, watching cat videos on YouTube and browsing Reddit and eBay.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 17 January 2013 10:59 (4 months ago) Permalink
Well done that man!
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:05 (4 months ago) Permalink
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:06 (4 months ago) Permalink
there was (still is) a blog called 'four hour work week' where he pretty much advocates doing this.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_4-Hour_Workweek
― koogs, Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:18 (4 months ago) Permalink
xp some discussion of that stupid graphic in batshit rightwing cartoons: 2012 and imaginary romney presidency years edition
― Neil S, Thursday, 17 January 2013 11:20 (4 months ago) Permalink
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/01/republicans-accuse-obama-of-using-position-as-president-to-lead-country.html
― velvet undergrad (diamonddave85), Friday, 18 January 2013 16:25 (4 months ago) Permalink
well that's certainly taking the thread title literally.
― s.clover, Friday, 18 January 2013 16:31 (4 months ago) Permalink
ha
― zero dark (s1ocki), Friday, 18 January 2013 16:45 (4 months ago) Permalink
headline ambiguity funnies
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2013/01/20/us-fake-sept-11-coins-settlement.html
― abanana, Sunday, 20 January 2013 14:17 (4 months ago) Permalink
9/11 coins was a hoax
― zero dark (s1ocki), Sunday, 20 January 2013 16:20 (4 months ago) Permalink
Manti has an Adidas football cleat box filled with them
― Rihanna Tootysalsafroyo (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 20 January 2013 17:18 (4 months ago) Permalink
Snow Plow Driver Brags About Burying Cars In YouTube Video
― elan, Sunday, 24 February 2013 18:41 (3 months ago) Permalink
Cannibal Cop Seemed Like Regular Cop At Work
― arby's, Sunday, 3 March 2013 03:48 (2 months ago) Permalink
104-Year-Old Woman Forced to Lie about Her Age on Facebook
― diamonddave85, Tuesday, 5 March 2013 20:41 (2 months ago) Permalink
Austrian cardinal's mother hopes he doesn't become pope
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 12 March 2013 09:38 (2 months ago) Permalink
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/03/taliban-greets-chuck-hagel-with-bomb.html
― goole, Tuesday, 12 March 2013 16:41 (2 months ago) Permalink
"Nick Cave To Unleash 30 Multi Coloured Horses At New York’s Grand Central Terminal"
http://www.yatzer.com/HEARD-NY-by-Nick-Cave
(which looks great and is only funny because of the name (it's not THAT nick cave))
― koogs, Friday, 15 March 2013 15:06 (2 months ago) Permalink
Cops: Teen who said Ninjas attacked him actually shot himself
― A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Saturday, 16 March 2013 19:56 (2 months ago) Permalink
CNN Grieves That Guilty Verdict Ruined Promising Lives of Steubenville Rapists
― kate78, Sunday, 17 March 2013 20:56 (2 months ago) Permalink
Jihadi Web Forums Are Losing Members to Twitter, Facebook, Death
― goole, Thursday, 21 March 2013 20:05 (2 months ago) Permalink
ha, best use of non-parallel construction ever
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 21 March 2013 20:09 (2 months ago) Permalink
@beautypill 3mThe last line of this article is absolutely intended to read like an Onion piece. Tell me I'm wrong. http://wapo.st/11ztSXg
― some dude, Sunday, 24 March 2013 22:10 (2 months ago) Permalink
http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/weird/NATL-Irish-Town-Legalizes-Drinking-and-Driving-199867031.html
Healy-Rae told the Times he thinks the measure will help preserve pub culture, lower the risk of suicide and attack isolation in the small town.
― ❏❐❑❒ (gr8080), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 18:55 (2 months ago) Permalink
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4203460/Schools-ban-children-making-best-friends.html
Actual article not Onion-esque, but the concept has promise.
― ljubljana, Saturday, 30 March 2013 12:43 (1 month ago) Permalink
The picture and caption of this article look Onionish.
― Josefa, Tuesday, 9 April 2013 22:35 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/04/11/newser-beaver-kills-man/2074145/
― Mordy, Thursday, 11 April 2013 22:21 (1 month ago) Permalink
Boston Dunkin' Donuts Remain Open To 'Take Care Of Law Enforcement And First Responders'
― unprepared guitar (Edward III), Friday, 19 April 2013 19:02 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/1440/20130418/tylenol-eases-existential-anxiety.htm
― The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Friday, 19 April 2013 19:15 (1 month ago) Permalink
that link starts 2 videos with sound when you open it
― abanana, Friday, 19 April 2013 22:54 (1 month ago) Permalink
the chains of worry are forged in idle hours
― The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P), Friday, 19 April 2013 22:58 (1 month ago) Permalink
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/04/north-korean-missile-test-delayed-by-windows-8.html
― the Upperchest (crüt), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:31 (1 month ago) Permalink
oh wait "borowitz report" nevermind
― the Upperchest (crüt), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:40 (1 month ago) Permalink
smh
― ampersand cooper black (elmo argonaut), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:40 (1 month ago) Permalink
\o_O/
― the Upperchest (crüt), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 19:41 (1 month ago) Permalink
Fuckin Borowitz
― how's life, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 20:10 (1 month ago) Permalink
quite literally "shit that looks like an onion article but isn't"
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 20:24 (1 month ago) Permalink