"Socially alert student poet unimpressed by conformity"

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I already linked this article from the Penn State Daily Collegian in another thread but I wanna make sure people get a chance to see it. It reads like an Onion article but I swear, swear, SWEAR that its for real. Hysterical.

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2001/02/02-16-01tdc/02-16-01darts-4.asp

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 20 January 2003 01:49 (twenty-three years ago)

"He is a modern muckraker, motivated by societal issues that he thinks need to be addressed because they are preventing self-expression; i.e. political correctness." Great stuff. I also like his umbrella. You should submit this evidence to the 'Bullies: C/D' thread.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Monday, 20 January 2003 02:03 (twenty-three years ago)

he's just angry that he can't tell nigger jokes anymore ... and that not everyone is so keen on blowing up Iraqi ragheads.

in other words ... yawn!

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 20 January 2003 02:44 (twenty-three years ago)

"Anti-political correctness is not the most popular stance to take right now, but Kremer doesn't care, he is not trying to be popular."

See, Tad, he doesn't care what you think.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Monday, 20 January 2003 02:48 (twenty-three years ago)

His glasses appear to be drawn into his face with marker pen.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 20 January 2003 02:53 (twenty-three years ago)

he should get a job writing fortune cookie iserts

"that was lastly problem?

we make more!. . .

protestor find something

else to get mad about."

― minna (minna), Monday, 20 January 2003 02:55 (twenty-three years ago)

sadly his poetry archive is down, now that he's graduated. He had a wonderful epic poem about a parking ticket given to him by a "metermaidman" and the following court battle it spawned. He really sticked it to the bullshit American court system. Trust me.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 20 January 2003 02:59 (twenty-three years ago)

"He really sticked it to the bullshit American court system" --> "sadly his poetry archive is down" ; Ashcroft strikes again! Orwell was an optimist!

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 20 January 2003 03:07 (twenty-three years ago)

When it comes to protecting the country from crap poetry, I am willing to sacrifice some freedoms.

― bnw (bnw), Monday, 20 January 2003 03:20 (twenty-three years ago)

In lieu of court jesters, there are those willing to yet feed the flame. Unintentionally.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 20 January 2003 05:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Must have been a slow day/week at Penn State for that story. Heck even the photo looks like it was stolen from The Onion.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 20 January 2003 15:05 (twenty-three years ago)

my cookie read i couldn't care less

― Honda (Honda), Monday, 20 January 2003 15:10 (twenty-three years ago)

My favorite quote:

The sad thing about this culture where these dichotomy's are established, if you ever find yourself in the middle you are labeled. Sad when you are given a choice and you like neither choice. People are sick of two choices when varieties are limitless.

I like how he sounds like he's testing out one cliche after another. He'll probably go into advertising.

(Never mind the heartbreaking apostrophe in the first sentence.)

― Amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 20 January 2003 15:55 (twenty-three years ago)

And you're SURE this guy isn't really Sinead O'Connor in bad goth getup?

― Curtis Stephens, Tuesday, 21 January 2003 01:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Two days from now he'll post his picture to ILE and ILM and ask "What do you think of ... this person???"

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 21 January 2003 01:37 (twenty-three years ago)

hmm, it's not working for me at the moment, but the Google cached version is there.

― stephen. s (yaye), Tuesday, 21 January 2003 02:07 (twenty-three years ago)

The thing I just noticed is the phrase carved into the wall behind him: "The library is a sum- / mons to scholarship". If you're carving stuff into walls, shouldn't you plan your line-breaks better before you start?

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 21 January 2003 03:15 (twenty-three years ago)

This is great.

Kremer has an opinion on pretty much everything he sees. And sometimes
it seems he is contradictory, an observation that pleases him.

"If you don't contradict yourself you're being silly. Everything I do or say is
provisional. People are silly to think they need to streamline themselves into
consistency."

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 21 January 2003 05:19 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Emily Morris wrote a wonderful poem there, what are you all laughing at?

― g.cannon (gcannon), Tuesday, 21 January 2003 05:55 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

Revive. I think I'll still be laughing about this article when I'm 80.

― miccio (miccio), Saturday, 13 November 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2001/02/02-16-01tdc/02-16-01darts-4.jpg
ihttp://bitchcakes.topcities.com/spencerchow/jess.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

clicky-clicky

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.ubu.com/outsiders/365/images/015b.jpg

― Spinning Down Alone You Spin Alive (ex machina), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

????????

― cºzen (Cozen), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

it couldn't be.

― cºzen (Cozen), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"Anti-political correctness is not the most popular stance to take right now, but Kremer doesn't care, he is not trying to be popular."

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Revive. I think I'll still be laughing about this article when I'm 80.
-- miccio (anthonyisrigh...), November 13th, 2004.

OTM!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope this guy's poetry is a good indication of how competitive it is getting into their MFA Creative Writing program, seeing as how it appears to be a pretty good school.

Or uh, maybe I hope it isn't.

― Mickey, Sunday, 14 November 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

this is how i imagine most of ile, actually.

― d.arraghmac, Sunday, 14 November 2004 06:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Its too bad he doesn't do love poems. The world could use his input on the tpoic.

― prov, Sunday, 14 November 2004 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i love you
yeah that's right
i do
i know you dont like me
but i
dont
care

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Sunday, 14 November 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

damnit, I was hoping this would have been revived by a random googler fan (or the guy himself!)

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Sunday, 14 November 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

man that's wierd.....the way it's written is so off in a way i can't really put into words, bizarrely written.....funny shit though wow i'd like to talk to the guy that had to room with him in the freshman dorms, bet he's got some horror stories.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Sunday, 14 November 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

The writer is mocking him, right? RIGHT? Please tell me the writer is mocking him.

― J (Jay), Sunday, 14 November 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a sum- / mons to hilarity.

― briania (briania), Sunday, 14 November 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

He sees poetry's direction as either belonging in an elitist academic forum or the newly popular poetry slams

Newly popular poetry slams! CATCH THE FEVER, PEOPLE!!

― Ernest P. (ernestp), Sunday, 14 November 2004 20:34 (twenty-one years ago)

he's got some new poetry site up (i'm not gonna link just google his name). It's nowhere as fun as his old psu one. I wish I'd kept the "metermaidman" series mentioned upthread.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 14 November 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe that article is almost four years old (it's a little unnerving, actually). Me and my friend Harlan were gonna go to one his readings and scream "THAT SHIT DON'T RHYME!" at him.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 14 November 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, that would be cool. Why don't you wanna link is Anthony? I can't think of anything better than if he turned up here and started posting some slanderous sonnets about us.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 14 November 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

wow i'd like to talk to the guy that had to room with him in the freshman dorms, bet he's got some horror stories.

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2000/10/10-06-00tdc/10-06-00darts-1.asp

I found one of his flatmates, another poet.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 14 November 2004 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

[tube]

on the map there is a dot

you fly from dot to dot

but you should not fly

from a dot into a house

since every house

cannot be a dot

go to the airport instead

and walk to your car

since you should not fly

the airplane into your car

you walk to the car

and drive it to the house

but you should not drive

the car into the house

you get out of the car

and walk toward the house

park the car

next to the house

that smiles and whispers

"I've been waiting for you"

― mark p (Mark P), Sunday, 14 November 2004 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

thanks for making me dumber, spunknuts

― mark p (Mark P), Sunday, 14 November 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's what Mike has to say about his flatmate, Sassy:

"We are very different personalities. We come from vastly different angles . . . in terms of criticism and social philosophy," Kremer says.

"However, there is obviously a commonality that makes us friends, which is embedded in our mutual appreciation for poetry and more importantly, self-expression."

There's no record of what Sassy thinks of Mike, however...

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 14 November 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

this guy's soulmate = alanis

― mark p (Mark P), Sunday, 14 November 2004 21:13 (twenty-one years ago)

It says Sassy published his book though!

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 14 November 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

she must have gotten free access to a copier at her job.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 14 November 2004 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but I bet she still thinks he's a cock. I think what frightens me about him is that I can totally imagine meeting him at some student party in St. Andrews, and being stuck listening to his inane views on political correctness all evening...

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 14 November 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

The article is indeed laughable, because he comes off like a cross between Adrian Mole and Jess Harvell, ie the epitome of ILX. However, he's quite a good poet, as evidenced here. Wouldn't it be funny if he just got better and better through sheer persistence, not caring what we thought, and won the Nobel Prize for literature or something? Then stole all our girlfriends and got elected president of a small East European country? Then invaded Poland?

― Momus (Momus), Sunday, 14 November 2004 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah one of the reasons I didn't want to link to his site is that he has improved over the last four years. The original article is still jaw-dropping though.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 14 November 2004 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah one of the reasons I didn't want to link to his site is that he has improved over the last four years.

Er? But that's not a reason! People do change and all.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 14 November 2004 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but it would kind of spoil the joke. Nevermind, I don't like his new stuff either, but I guess poetry is like anything else when it comes to taste.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 14 November 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I just figured he doesn't need to be reminded about this. God knows I wouldn't want to be.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 14 November 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

momus: don't you ever get tired of being momus all. of. the. time?

― mark p (Mark P), Sunday, 14 November 2004 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think any Ilxor has the right to ask that question

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 14 November 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, the Adrian Mole comparison was OTM, though - the wannabe 'intellectual' thing. I think the comparison to ILX was somewhat less accurate, Momus.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 14 November 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

How is this not an Onion story.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Sunday, 14 November 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.dallassummermusicals.org/images/question-mark.jpg

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Sunday, 14 November 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Does nobody else think he looks like Jess?! (I mean, I know Momus referenced Jess, but it didn't seem to have to do with his appearance. Actually, I'm not sure why Momus referenced Jess.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 15 November 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

seven years pass...

Forgot about this. So funny.

The original link no longer works, but this one does: http://www.collegian.psu.edu:8080/archive/2001/02/02-16-01tdc/02-16-01darts-4.asp.

Meanwhile, a decade on, the guy's still writing poetry, though he's changed his name to Dwight Riverbottum. Good luck to him.

― Eyeball Kicks, Friday, 10 August 2012 14:05 (thirteen years ago)

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