A Flock of Perversions

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nabisco: Jess, have you ever heard A Flock of Seagulls' "Listen?"
Jess: i have not
nabisco: Let me tell you something: it is ridiculously good.
nabisco: I don't care about critical thinking or anything: it was the first record I ever really loved and I still think it's just amazing.
Jess: flock of seagulls were ruined for me by the fact that the lead singer once asked my ex to dress up in a clown suit for him
nabisco: ???
Jess: haha i would have sworn i would have posted this story to ilx
Jess: this is at kent state u around 89-90
Jess: they were playing the
Jess: wait for it
Jess: pizza parlor
Jess: so my ex had to go because of nostalgia, etc etc
nabisco: God that is SO sad
nabisco: they should be playing Wembley
Jess: so she was wearing this big red vinyl heart
Jess: and she slipped him this note at one point that read "i've got a heart on for you" ho ho
Jess: so after the show they were talking
Jess: and it was pretty clear he wanted to "get it on"
Jess: so she decided to fuck with him
Jess: and anway, it turned out they were driving around later
Jess: and eventually after much cajoling he finally asks her if there's a costume shop open that time of night
nabisco: This is getting creepy.
Jess: and it was revealed he liked to have his ladies dress up in clown costumes!!
Jess: haha also, as an extra bonus
nabisco: Oh Christ, I wish I didn't know that.
Jess: she saw them with her brorther when they were very little
Jess: like on the first american tour
Jess: and she got to go backstage
Jess: so they went up to his dressing room door
Jess: and knocked on it
Jess: and he was stark naked
Jess: hahaha
Jess: she's got a history of flock of seagulls perversions
nabisco: Damn.
nabisco: I think they were destined to be together.
Jess: well, she's all his now

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 04:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

all the incidents in this story are TRUE. (at least as told to me.)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 04:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.patrossamus.com/GIFs/art/1.gif

― Jody Beth Rosen, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 04:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

WTF??!?!?!

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 04:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

JESS: BEHOLD: A Flock of Perversions
ME: hahaha posting
JESS: haha
ME: uh
ME: i don't want to post now

― matt m, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 04:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Between story and painting, GREATEST THREAD EVER. And to think Dan is asleep and missing this joy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 04:57 (twenty-one years ago) link

i feel a bit ill.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 04:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

this is even worse than the radiohead porn thread!!

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 04:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

The true depth was the Calvin/Hobbes slash. Frankly, in comparison this is sunshine and happy fairies.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 05:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

i don't have to read it and i know calvin is the bottom

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 05:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

hurrah for sad clown porn!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 05:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/sexyclown.gif

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 05:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

Donut, that is the scariest thing I've ever seen.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 05:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's clown, no time to talk."

― Jody Beth Rosen, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 05:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

He works it well. Whatever it is.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 05:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

That clown has THE most evil face.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 06:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

DB! Why aren't you wearing your assless chaps in that .gif?

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 11:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

clown porn should not exist and neither should clowns.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 16:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

b-but if we didn't have clowns we wouldn't have insane clown posse jel?!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

a flaw in my logic! This bitch wouldn't exist without clowns!

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

Has anyone else got any pop star fetishist stories theyd like to share?

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

jess is rilly rilly cruel!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

A girl my friend knows named Dawn supposedly slept with the lead singer of Tool. As the joke goes "everybody wakes up to dawn" ho ho etc. etc.

― Honda, Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

Can I just mention that I really hope this story doesn't bias anyone against the musical and maybe even sartorial brilliance of A Flock of Seagulls?

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Telecom-MUNICATION!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

All your popstar fetishist fantasies will be fulfilled at http://www.groupiecentral.com

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ned, I was thinking more along the lines of "ma-ma-ma-ma, I keep having nightmares."

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

Or no, better yet: "I - AM - THE - TRA - VA - LAH ... I - AM - ARR - I - VING ..."

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

Variety proves the band's appeal.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 17:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

True story

A friend of mine went and saw the comedian Stven Wr*ght. After the show they ended up at the same bar- Steven Wr*ght offered her 200 dollars to watch her piss. She declined.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 18:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

"I paid a girl 200 dollars and asked her to piss".....

"(long pause)"

"She was pissed alright"

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 18:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

the buttons on that clown's shirt are fuuucking with me...

― g.cannon (gcannon), Wednesday, 16 October 2002 19:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

Well, the whole thread inspired me to break out the greatest hits collection, and it's still great sounding. Clown visions notwithstanding.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 October 2002 01:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yikes! Make the clown go away!!! Aaiiii....

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 17 October 2002 01:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

Gah. Clowns are so creepy, I don't even know where to begin.

I could have sworn Jess told the clown story somewhere on ilx before. Either that, or I have heard some other clown fucking shenanigans regarding Flock of Seagulls. Which is not impossible.

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 17 October 2002 01:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

one year passes...

http://sicman.ihateclowns.com/clown/fclown.jpg

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:32 (twenty years ago) link

So how come Dan DIDN'T post on this thread, I have to ask.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:32 (twenty years ago) link

Common sense?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:34 (twenty years ago) link

that picture is an axis of evil

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 04:27 (twenty years ago) link

http://users.bigpond.net.au/cassdvd/natura2.jpg

― Wintermuté (Wintermute), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 04:47 (twenty years ago) link

Always glad to see the "sexy clown" in regular thread revival rotation here.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 05:43 (twenty years ago) link

Nabisco being horrified by his hero's perversions is still funny and cute.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 15:05 (twenty years ago) link

six months pass...

TRY DEZE NUTS

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 03:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I still have to ask why Dan hasn't posted here.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 June 2004 03:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Common sense?
-- Allyzay (godpeopl...), December 3rd, 2003.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 03:12 (nineteen years ago) link

LET THE MAN SPEAK FOR HIMSELF

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 June 2004 03:30 (nineteen years ago) link

pro hac vice

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 28 June 2004 03:33 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.pornclownposse.com/assets/bush-ouchy.jpg

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 28 June 2004 11:30 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...

haha

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 January 2006 02:49 (eighteen years ago) link

i realized a while back it's probably libelous but what the hell

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 6 January 2006 02:49 (eighteen years ago) link

A Flock Of Seagulls, "I Ran"

Misheard Lyrics:
A crowd of hairs above your head
A beam of light comes shining down on you
Shining down on you
The clown goes to the carousel
Aurora Borealis comes into you
Aurora comes into you.

Original Lyrics:
A cloud appears above your head
A beam of light comes shining down on you
Shining down on you
The cloud is moving nearer still
Aurora Borealis comes in view
Aurora comes in view.

(Make Correction) (Suggest Different Misheard Lyrics)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 6 January 2006 05:04 (eighteen years ago) link

where the fuck is DAN

― Dom iNut (donut), Friday, 6 January 2006 09:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Aww come on, clown girls are sexy!

http://www.supersnail.com/fast/dada5/images/small/dad5_1150_sm.jpg

― ratty, Friday, 6 January 2006 10:28 (eighteen years ago) link

one year passes...

amazing thread!!

― Eisbaer, Monday, 4 June 2007 04:07 (sixteen years ago) link

Five years, still no Dan.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 4 June 2007 04:12 (sixteen years ago) link

one day i shall find jess' IM name

― kingfish, Monday, 4 June 2007 04:20 (sixteen years ago) link

Five years, still no Dan.

he is a very wise man :-)

― Eisbaer, Monday, 4 June 2007 04:23 (sixteen years ago) link

apparently there's this thing called common sense. so they tell me.

(also what a wonderful thread :D )

― aaron d.g., Monday, 4 June 2007 04:25 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh god the horror I had managed to erase =(

― Trayce, Monday, 4 June 2007 07:39 (sixteen years ago) link

one day i shall find jess' IM name

dude, email or im, it's all the same.

― stevienixed, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:31 (sixteen years ago) link

I love old unbroken gif links. That clown has been walking for five years without getting tired.

― Rock Hardy, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:35 (sixteen years ago) link

"why not? please? :-((( "

http://i15.tinypic.com/68c8t51.jpg

― StanM, Monday, 4 June 2007 16:39 (sixteen years ago) link

nine months pass...

http://www.zenovabraeden.com/photos/covers/clownporn.jpg

― gershy, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 07:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Fred The Wonder Chicken

― nickalicious, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 18:09 (sixteen years ago) link

you know what they say about clowns with big shoes

― blueski, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 18:13 (sixteen years ago) link

their noses are HUGE

― latebloomer, Wednesday, 12 March 2008 21:06 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...

http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n190/LEE33733EEL/Stop_Clown_Porn.jpg

― Eisbaer, Sunday, 8 June 2008 03:42 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh my god this thread terrifies me. I've got some old Flock of Seagulls demos, though.

― Bimble Is Still More Goth Than You, Sunday, 8 June 2008 04:35 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

i still think about this story like once a month.

― strongohulkingtonsghost, Monday, 11 January 2010 04:44 (fourteen years ago) link

nb: getting to share it with the world is the only good thing to come out of that relationship.

― strongohulkingtonsghost, Monday, 11 January 2010 04:45 (fourteen years ago) link

i still think about this story like once a month.

So do I! Or, at least when the subject of clowns or A Flock of Seagulls comes up, which probably averages out to once a month.

― ô_o (Nicole), Monday, 11 January 2010 04:48 (fourteen years ago) link

"space age love song" came up in itunes tonight and it was like BAM! clown fucking.

still a great song, though.

― strongohulkingtonsghost, Monday, 11 January 2010 04:50 (fourteen years ago) link

funny, i think of Fred the Wonder Chicken whenever i hear "i ran"

― NJ4L (Eisbaer), Monday, 11 January 2010 06:52 (fourteen years ago) link

for the curious, fred the wonder chicken has a myspace page

― I have nine Carmine Lupertazzis under my subspecies (Eisbaer), Saturday, 23 January 2010 11:22 (fourteen years ago) link

one year passes...

this thread came to mind tonight for some reason

― Friedrich das Wunderhahn hat den traurigen Clownporn sehr gern (Eisbaer), Saturday, 13 August 2011 05:03 (twelve years ago) link

"space age love song" came up in itunes tonight and it was like BAM! clown fucking.

God dammit jess.

― Rameses Street (Trayce), Saturday, 13 August 2011 06:29 (twelve years ago) link

"space age love song" came up in itunes tonight and it was like BAM! clown fucking.

Hell yeas. It's impossible to not think of this...

― Stockhausen's Ekranoplan Quartet (Elvis Telecom), Saturday, 13 August 2011 06:35 (twelve years ago) link

seven months pass...

this thread always makes me smile.

― kurwa mać (Polish for "long life") (Eisbaer), Sunday, 1 April 2012 15:25 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/images/uploads/201205090845.jpg

I saw this picture and thought of this thread.

― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Friday, 18 May 2012 22:49 (eleven years ago) link

four months pass...

omg that picture, Nicole.

i just heard "I Ran" on the radio ... this thread is so powerful, i always think of it whenever i hear a FoS song nowadays.

― spicy bacon, bitch! (Eisbaer), Sunday, 14 October 2012 17:49 (eleven years ago) link

nine months pass...

The clown is crying

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 23 July 2013 17:44 (ten years ago) link

three months pass...

bless you, first hit on random thread mode.

― taxi tomato or bag tomato (Trayce), Sunday, 3 November 2013 04:48 (ten years ago) link

eleven months pass...

*weeps, trembles*:

Tim Quirk
‏@tbquirk
You really do have to hear @jayandtony talk sincerely about the goals of documentary filmmakers while discussing filming a clown orgy.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 17 October 2014 16:39 (nine years ago) link

just posting for dn appropriateness

― Steve 'n' Seagulls and Flock of Van Dammes (forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 October 2014 16:49 (nine years ago) link

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