What movie is most likely to get caught in your challopian tube?

The "Lord of Chaos" black metal movie will deliver Velvet Goblin with axe-wielding goblins.

Sorry Velvet Goldmine with axe-wielding goblins. Not a half-bad title, though.

With hobbit porn?

The Fifth Element's script was so clearly written by dude at age 15

its like an ideal version of what a 15 yr old would come up with

Velvet Goldmine was cute actor eyecandy with a solid soundtrack

Velvet Goblin needs to be a band, probably. I keep forgetting Lords of Chaos is coming. Hope there's a 3D verzh.

Velvet Goldmine was cute actor eyecandy with a solid soundtrack

Upon re-seeing it, I liked it better.

It made more sense after finding out about the problems with rights to Bowie songs.

Velvet Goldmine promised cute actor eyecandy, which was then uglified even by glam standards (impressive) and put in a shameful, pointless series of gaudy tableaux on par with Bogus in the wtf department.

Bogus is my most hated film fwiw.

the gaudy tableaux were kinda the point of the movie though.

did i just see a picture of mr snuffeluffergus?

It did have a good soundtrack I'll admit but it's fucking Roxy Music, can't really go wrong there even if it was Wing singing it.

Didn't think Velvet Goldmine was a very good movie, but I'm kind of glad it exists -- same with I'm Not There. I like that Haynes is trying to make interesting, serious movies about rock stardom, but he hasn't quite nailed it yet. It's a tough topic to do well.

which was then uglified even by glam standards (impressive)

The 70's weren't exactly the prettiest decade...

Why are we talking about a minority-interest art-house release?

xxp - Both were problematic, agreed.

That's what I'm saying: glam was fugly but that is some next-level fug on display in that film

Christian Bale in drag isn't exactly him at his best ...

and the fug you see is men that you know in any other circumstance wld be bonerland

I was at the UK premiere of Velvet Goldmine, and everybody hated it. This is not a challop.

lol bonerland

I went into that movie sure that it would be everything I'd ever wanted in a bowie-inspired romp...and I hated every breathing moment of it. maybe because the real thing looked better in books and blurry videos and hearsay than any 'imagining'.

I don't think it was all fug, though there definitely was some.

Velvet Goldmine is wonderful and I hate you all. The end.

i didn't like jeepers creepers or jeepers creepers 2 but then i found out the director was a pedophile and i signed a petition for him

I think my biggest initial problem was the faux bowie songs

I think Bale's shy Brummie shtick was kind of cute and MacGregor was kind of hilarious and Rhys-What's-his-name was an excellent peacock.

MacGregor had the least fugly costumes.

this isn't a challop at all, but John Carpenter's Vampires was so horrible I wanted to call him up and yell at him. it also informs my hatred of James Woods (which on its own may be a challop)

^^^ooh that movie was terrible.

I saw Jeepers Creepers II alone in a multiplex where they'd forgotten to turn the house lights off, with an audience of baying teenagers. Even considering that, it was what medics refer to as a brutal insult to the brain. I have no technical experience, but I am confident I could conceive, write and direct a better John Carpenter rip-off in six weeks, with what the catering budget must have cost.

just remembered Amelie (which I'm not dignifying with the appropriate accent)

^^ ha, that and Juno are two I will not watch because I know I will dislike them.

Ha ha. I am such a sucker for Amelie but then I used to live around there for awhile.

really loved Velvet Goldmine. It's kind of a mess and is not historically accurate but is very entertaining to watch. The editing is incredible...I love the way every scene starts out as one thing and ends up as another. And the music was great.

omg amelie
i saw vampires just drunk enough that i didn't feel like walking out

I think its so weird that people expected Velvet Goldmine to be historically accurate. it lays its cards out on the table pretty early that its a FAIRY TALE

Velvet Goldmine historically accurate? The point is that it's about the rumors and not the reality. We all believed this stuff in the 70's.

^^^yep

^^yes. but I remember all of the criticism it got at the time for not portraying the era accurately, which I agree is ridiculous.

there seems to be some revisionist thinking about Forrest Gump. How did it end up at 607 on the 1000-top films list? It was bad the first time and I can't imagine it's going to get any better in retrospect.

I think my problems with historical accuracy had to do with the chronology of various periods and recording history.

you know a movie's great when an actor cuts off his legs just to be in it. that gary sinise guy is amazing! such dedication.

x-post

i didn't even know what velvet goldmine was supposed to be referencing at the time, it was pretty entertaining on its merits.

its not a biopic. its a coming-out movie disguised as a musical fable.

yeah, it's more entertaining when you're not arguing about whether so-and-so is supposed to be representing Lou Reed, Bowie, Iggy, etc. at a given point in the movie.

yes. and right from the first scene you know it's going to be great, with the bullied kid finding Oscar Wilde's brooch, and the camera shooting off to the stars.

the only thing i didn't like about VG was the citizen kane thing

I love Velvet Goldmine. I'm sure there's a thread. But we should be talking about mainstream hits that really suck.

Of recent movies The Dark Knight really bugged me.

bloated, overly-gothic, 4 or 5 pseudo-endings, and it was all taken so seriously...