Craigslist hilarity

http://gbamedia.gamespy.com/gba/image/article/691/691797/super-princess-peach-20060227004708930.jpg

We met for a drink and you caught me making out with a man - m4w
Date: 2007-10-23, 9:27AM EDT

I'm sorry. You were taking so long in the bathroom and this guy was looking at me. Next thing I knew we were making out and you came back and stormed out of the bar. I just want you to know that I really liked you and I'm not gay, I just have gay experiences sometimes. You are a beautiful girl and I'm glad that you came on date with me. I would like very much to try again. This time I will give all my love to you.

hahahaha

I have to wonder if iiiijjjj ever got a reply from the post-fratboys.

A Band Named Eric
Reply to: comm-489100✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧
Date: 2007-11-25, 1:41PM PST

Drummer and bassist, both named Eric, looking for like-named musicians to start a new band named Eric. Please, only people named Eric or willing to legally change their name to Eric should reply.

Thanks,

Eric

2 small real pumpkins

Reply to: sale-489-✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧
Date: 2007-11-26, 10:54AM EST

Does anyone have any use for these?

lolcollege

To My Five Dumfuck Roomates
Reply to: pers-569989✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧
Date: 2008-02-10, 10:49PM CST

To start this on a lighter note, YOU ARE ALL FUCKING RETARDS.
Now that I've said that maybe ill try to tell you why you all deserve to have the right to add to the genetic pool removed.
1. I have a life outside of the house, None of you do.I go out to bars, restraunts , museums, coffe shops, I read indie magazines, I do not like any stereotypical male activities. (exception for sex but read on for that.) I have a life where it does not involve watching the game, drinking a couple of beers, and laughing at something that is hip on youtube. It is precisely this reason that I throw myself into school, culture, and not being at home. You're all 21 get a life past high school shit.

2. I have a double major, one in art and one in theoretical mathematics , which requires approximately 9000 percent of my time not spent sleeping and making myself not look like a bum. So if I on occasion forget my laundry in the dryer, or dont get to the single plate, cup, and pot that i dirtied ten seconds ago, please do not get outrageously bent out about it. Next time I find that my clean clothes were thrown on the disgusting basement floor, or dishes that I had used half an hour ago to make dinner with are in my nice clean bed, let me say that I will burn your section of the house down.

3. Please dont remind me that I'm not from a wealthy family by making sarcastic jokes about having a job, I can hear you and I swear to god that your car will not start ever again if i have to listen to how nice it is to be rich. Also eating all of my food, and then ordering pay per view which you expect me to help pay for is also off limits, along with running a space heater in your downstairs bathroom because you dont want a cold ass. Deal with it, I paid an extra 80 bucks for that shit last month, and trust me I'm going to fucking send you the bill.

4.On the topic of school, you are all unable to find majors that involve sports and burping, so you choose bullshit ones. Great for you, I didnt. Mr. Business major who never does homework, never leaves from the couch, and will not let me check the weather, You will probably make more money than me ever. But you're dumb, and so is that barely legal freshman you rail every weekend. My history major roomate, your parents are rich beyond absurdity ( they seriously bought you a thirty thousand dollar car after you smashed up your used bmw) and you will live off of them till you get your phd, good luck on doing anything with that when you can barely write a paper, or hold a conversation (exception for those about sports). The industrial engineer who lives with me, you are my best friend, but you are still dumb, you couldnt cut it as an ME, or a CE, or even as a consulting major, so you took engineers for business. Sorry. The ornmantel horticulture major, you're nice, but going to school to learn how to cut grass is a waste. and finally my construction management roomate. Actually you're not dumb, just never there to talk to.

4. I am not dumb because I am studying art. Once more and ill make art from your fucking cd collection.

5. Hour shower roomate, get the hell out of there, i want to be naked and wet too.

6. If I listen to a record, using headphones, at two in the morning with my door shut and the light on dim, please do not disturb me, Im tired and relaxing.

7.All of you drive nicer cars that your parents bought you, and I can understand that you dont want them scratched, but just because I drive a nicer used VW that I am personally paying for each month does not mean you can take my keys and park it in the little old ladies driveway she lets us use. I have a 4 inch clearence, and if my bottom if fucked, all of you are getting the bill. Trust me and let me park in the spot my rent is paying for, I promise i will not dent your car.

8. On the topic of sex, I have it on occasion, with the same steady partner, who no longer wants to come over due to the catcalls, pounding, and yelling. When you all are getting some, I have the curtesy to be quiet and in my room. Do the same or i swear you'll never get any again.

9.I work about 35 hours a week, and study for about 100 or something, so when i sleep i try to be quiet and not wake you up, six in the morning shouting about lifting when I've been asleep 45 minutes is not acceptable. A bat to your face just might be.

10. I'm done with this one. Nicknames are stupid, use my full name when i am around my friends and collegues or so help me god, I will tell the world all of your drunken secrets. Including the one about doing a chick who used to be a guy mr business major.

Thank you and goodnight I fucking hope.

He's got some atrocious spelling and grammar for someone so "smart".

I pity whoever this man marries. If he really works that hard, does he really have a life, outside the house or otherwise?

Although the dumping laundry on the basement floor or putting dishes into beds is kind of bullshit, unless its a chronic thing.

I REALLY don't miss college at all.

if these douchebags are so rich why do they need roommates?

Wow

I have a life where it does not involve watching the game, drinking a couple of beers, and laughing at something that is hip on youtube.

^^THIS IS THE ROOT OF YOUR PROBLEM DUDE

If he's so hung up on wealth he probably shouldn't be doing a double major in arts & theoretical maths

ts:

1. I have a life outside of the house

vs

I work about 35 hours a week, and study for about 100 or something

EXACTLY.

I think this guy will go on to become a real life Frank Grimes.

I can't tell if this one is as funny as I think it is or not:

hot blonde waitress at Max and Ermas - m4w - 53

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Reply to: pers-604782✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧
Date: 2008-03-13, 9:02AM EDT

You waited on us. Group of 10 by the Sundae bar on Tuesday the 11th. You are so hot. I don't know if you come here or not, but it is worth a shot. You are so HOT!!!

LOOKING FOR THE WOMAN WHO TRADED HERSELF FOR MY TV - m4w - 40

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Reply to: pers-612224✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧
Date: 2008-03-19, 10:58PM PDT

Spring 2003.

I was moving out of L.A. and selling some stuff on Craigslist.

I wanted $175 for my television. You answered my ad.

You said you needed a new TV but offered me something other than cash.

I waited for you downstairs.

You came rollin' down the sidewalk.

Two guys bumped into one another while looking at your delicious apple bottom.

I showed you that my TV worked. I put the cat outside.

Much better than $175.

I'm back in L.A.

I have another T.V.

Freddy Crooner is o_O

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/muc/612752647.html

his homepage is even more fucked up

Bloeing (???)

The left channel is a Boeing "feel good about us" promotional ad which I mess up by shifting pitch and playback speed via Photon X25 midi controller & Ableton. The right channel is a text-to-speech synthesized voice reading descriptions of weapons from their web site.

Holy shit!

Police offer amnesty to people who stole from Craigslist hoax victim

12:17 PM PDT on Tuesday, March 25, 2008

By AP and kgw.com Staff

JACKSONVILLE, Ore. -- Police say belongings removed from a Southern Oregon man's property have begun slowly reappearing at his home, a day after a pair of hoax ads on Craigslist cost Robert Salisbury much of what he owned.

And police said people who return the items voluntarily will not be prosecuted.

The ads popped up Saturday afternoon, saying the owner of a Jacksonville home was forced to leave the area suddenly and his belongings, including a horse, were free for the taking, said Jackson County Sheriff's Detective Sgt. Colin Fagan.

But the ads were a hoax. Robert Salisbury had no plans to leave.

The independent contractor was at Emigrant Lake when he got a call from a woman who had stopped by his house to claim his horse.

On his way home he stopped a truck loaded down with his work ladders, lawn mower and weed eater.

"I informed them I was the owner, but they refused to give the stuff back," Salisbury said. "They showed me the Craigslist printout and told me they had the right to do what they did."

The driver sped away after rebuking Salisbury. On his way home he spotted other cars filled with his belongings.

Once home he was greeted by close to 30 people rummaging through his barn and front porch.

The trespassers, armed with printouts of the ad, tried to brush him off. "They honestly thought that because it appeared on the Internet it was true," Salisbury said. "It boggles the mind."

Jacksonville police and Jackson County sheriff's deputies arrived but by then several cars packed with Salisbury's property had fled.

He turned some license plate numbers over to police. By late Monday, s ome people who learned of the hoax began to return items taken from the home. Authorities weren't able to say how much or what had been returned, but did say that by late Monday afternoon, items were "starting to piling up" in Salisbury's driveway.

Michelle Easley had seen the ad that claimed Salisbury's horse had been declared abandoned by the sheriff's department and was free to a good home.

"I can't stand to see a horse suffer so I drove out there and got her," Easley said. "The horse didn't look abandoned. She is in good shape for being 32 years old."

But it looked odd, so she left a note on Salisbury's door explaining the ad. She then decided to call to make sure the ad was legitimate when the second similar ad appeared.

"I feel bad because I was a part of it," Easley said. "It felt right to call the police."

Fagan praised Easley's honestly but said prosecution was likely for anybody caught with Salisbury's property.

Officers were still contacting people who were seen leaving Salisbury's house with his stuff. If they return the taken items, no charges will be filed. But people who don’t return what they took may face charges.

Items can be returned with no questions asked, Fagan said.

Detectives have contacted Craigslist's legal team to try to trace the ad.

Meanwhile, Salisbury could not even relax on his porch swing -- someone took it.

Apparently it was a disgruntled niece who done did it!

"They honestly thought that because it appeared on the Internet it was true," Salisbury said. "It boggles the mind."

Allegedly real ad in bay area cl. I got it in email. Smells like bs, but whatever

<img src=http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j278/oilyrags/ATT00001.jpg>;

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j278/oilyrags/ATT00001.jpg

Who is alleging this ad to be real?

whoever began sending it round, I guess.

According to Snopes it's a non-doctored pic, but that's bigger than any mastiff I've ever seen so I'm guessing there is either some trickery going on here.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/bigdog.asp

The easiest sort of 'trickery' I can imagine that doesn't involve doctoring the pic would be if that woman is unusually petite.

And the dog disturbingly massive.

look at her hand on the dog's leg. it's not that big, its just closer to the camera.

http://shipdisturbers.com/bestofcraigslist.jpg

stomp around on the buildings, just don't break em'!

imitation crab meat

omg

if that doesn't top the ad from the dude who wanted to jerk off into a tornado, then surely it's a close second

lock thread, surely.

25-70

http://hudsonvalley.craigslist.org/muc/677453250.html

these two need to hook up

Need man to set up wireless network - 33
Reply to: pers-320771✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧
Date: 2007-04-28, 7:02PM CDT

My ex-husband tried and got things even more screwed up.
I need a good looking man, 21-45, to come to my home and set up my wireless network. We have one desktop and two laptops. We have DSL. What's so hard about that?
One BJ for payment, and then our relationship is over.
Interested?

* Location: Norwood Park
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 320771195

LOOKING FOR THE WOMAN WHO TRADED HERSELF FOR MY TV - m4w - 40

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Reply to: pers-612224✧✧✧@craigsl✧✧✧.o✧✧
Date: 2008-03-19, 10:58PM PDT

Spring 2003.

I was moving out of L.A. and selling some stuff on Craigslist.

I wanted $175 for my television. You answered my ad.

You said you needed a new TV but offered me something other than cash.

I waited for you downstairs.

You came rollin' down the sidewalk.

Two guys bumped into one another while looking at your delicious apple bottom.

I showed you that my TV worked. I put the cat outside.

Much better than $175.

I'm back in L.A.

I have another T.V.

"I put the cat outside"

My pedals are alphabetized so that I can easily find them in the middle of "battle".

dying

When you've been in the business as long as I have, you tend to come up with little time-saving tricks like that.

dying more, gagging on own vomit

poughkeepsie

that's where rock 'n' roll dreams come through!

photo taken in attic = still lives with parents?

i dunno but i saw a guy wearing chain mail in orlando once. maybe these two should hang out.

they can be the houseband at medieval times

I'm back in L.A.

I have another T.V.

wow this could be the chorus of a great song (including the rest of it as verses obviously)

I showed you that my TV worked. I put the cat outside.

flintstonesopeningcredits.jpg

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ksc/395322346.html

We could go get dinner (under $20), and watch a movie. Also I’m allergic to cats.

Oh hell no.

http://littlerock.craigslist.org/zip/692592254.html