Mystery Science Theater 3000: C/D, S/D.

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Acting is easy when you can read your lines!

Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 18:10 (sixteen years ago) link

"he died as he lived: with jelly on his face."

"He died as he lived: Loving his work."

Chris P (Chris P), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 18:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Y'all started this by making me think about it and these lines have been in my head all weekend. However, I won't keep posting them, but will leave you with this last one, which I actually say all the time:

"That's 40 pounds of butt in 30-pound butt capacity pants!" - Mike

luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 18:20 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh lord, that episode.

"That may not really be Chinese."

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 19:16 (sixteen years ago) link

"Dill is a GOOD spice! I will NOT have it MALIGNED!"

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 19:55 (sixteen years ago) link

"Adolf Hitler, Knight Rider."

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 19:58 (sixteen years ago) link

The best episode is still Riding with Death. "Well, I'll be right Ben." Guarantee, you say that to me, I die laughing.

Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 20:06 (sixteen years ago) link


Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 20:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Just to clarify

Tep: I don't think it's the same at all (effort of making a film vs effort of making comments while watching films). It's just that renting B-movies with friends was already a popular pastime with people I knew before I ever knew of this show. MST3K seemed less fun than doing it in 'real time' with your own friends if that's what you want to do. I didn't think it added much to the experience or to the movies. And I guess I just didn't think they were that much funnier anyway (e.g. the "dead elf" line Ned quoted).

sundar subramanian (sundar), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 20:28 (sixteen years ago) link

"Jailbait for Gamera!" still cracks me up.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 20:31 (sixteen years ago) link


M Matos (M Matos), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 20:34 (sixteen years ago) link

mitchell roxx u r all john saxon

jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 20:41 (sixteen years ago) link

While I'd agree that the host segments for the Sci-Fi era weren't up to Dr. F & Frank quality, they did some incredible shows for those three years. Riding With Death holds up incredibly well, as does Pumaman and Time Chasers. Not only are the movies of high MST3K quality, the riffs are up there as well. Plus add in Final Sacrifice's Canadian jabs, Touch of Satan's 70's riffs and walnut jokes and the wonderful dance sequence in Mole People ... great moments all of them.

And their parody of Behind the Music with "The Band That Played California Lady" in Track of the Moon Beast is one of their best skits.

zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 20:41 (sixteen years ago) link

MST3K seemed less fun than doing it in 'real time' with your own friends if that's what you want to do.

I think that's a fair thing to say. I remember when us AOL MSTies would get together and riff on Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band or A Star Is Born, what would happen *was* more hilarious than the average episode. But one might argue that by watching Best Brains riff on, say, The Incredible Melting Man, the pleasures we might get personally or collectively riffing on the movie would not only get partially replaced by the pleasure of THEM doing it, but also by the pleasures of indulging in the shared culture of MSTiedom -- learning and trading BB's lines, say, much like we're doing here.

An aside: I suppose someone like Fujiwara might say YOU SEE YOU SEE YOU'RE GIVING UP THE FRUITS OF YOUR OWN CRITICAL ACTIVITY FOR THAT OF OTHERS though I'm not sure how different this is from, say, trading lines of Horace or Milton, or using something Benjamin or Aristotle once said for your own nerfarious purposes. Or how it prevents us from "playing the home game," if you will.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 21:09 (sixteen years ago) link

Mike: "This is how much pure cocaine you would need to watch this picture."

This lays me out... also another thing my friends and I say - "this is how much pure cocaine I would need to __________"

luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 21:11 (sixteen years ago) link

And of course, as Nicole and I once tormented N. with...

Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Trunk Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Chunkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Whip Slagcheek
Punch Side-iron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson (no, wait...)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 21:12 (sixteen years ago) link

This is a VERY funny show sometimes, but I don't like it when they choose a reasonably good movie and then spent 45 minutes struggling to find something to make fun of.

amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Which ones were reasonably good, though? Out of how many? Certainly some were more generic than just plain awful, as Mike D. noted, but in those genres were plenty of examples of stupidity to trash.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 21:17 (sixteen years ago) link

Rutherford B. Hayes was born humbly to his own son, Rutherford B. Hayes Jr., in Delaware (while it was still Ohio) sometime after the French Revolution. Rejecting a career as a professional speller, he was admitted to the bar in 1815, though he did not drink lustfully from it. Serving heroically in the Civil War, Hayes admitted later that it was in the army he first tasted human flesh. In 1876, Hayes beat Bill Tilden in a three-set quarterfinal at Flushing Meadows which caused the Electrical College to declare him President of the United States.

Here are a few highlights of the administration of Rutherford B. Hayes: In 1877, Reconstruction ended, and Jacques Derrida was named Secretary of Linguistics, and the era of Deconstruction began and continues to this day. Thomas Edison invented the pornograph, beginning the Age of Pornography. President Hayes then passed the Hayes Act, started the Hayes Office, won fame as an American lyric tenor, and became Archibishop of New York in 1919.

After he retired, he founded the original ZZ Top with James Garfield and Chester Allen Arthur; shocked the world with a publicity stunt when, on a bet, he made a tent out of the underwear of William Howard Taft and lived inside for a full year; and later, Hayes retired from the stage and did a series of memorable character parts in Hollywood. Who can forget the time he was slapped by Jacqueline Bisset in the 1971 Universal movie, Airport ? And then, after inventing ringworm, Hayes died. His last words were: "I have only one life to live -- let me live it as a blond!"


Oh, and his blood type was AB.


Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 21:40 (sixteen years ago) link

I've already ceded the Godzilla movies and The Painted Hills; Space Travellers is OK, if static; maybe the Hercules ones and the Russo-Finnish ones because they've got built-in camp value; This Island Earth of course; Bride of the Monster and It Conquered the World have some bravura performances; I actually find The Deadly Bees pretty suspenseful (well, *I* was faked out) and the Hamlet they chose is hardly the best version but I get teary in the end.

Not many *good* films, but it's not impossible to riff on a good movie: M Sampo once said that La Jetée and The Wizard of Oz would be pretty prime experiences. But in general good movies are too engaging -- too distracting -- to use for MSTing.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 21:56 (sixteen years ago) link

My only regret is that Hollywood never made a movie where Joe Don Baker and John Phillip Law got to lez it up.

Nicole (Nicole), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:31 (sixteen years ago) link

That image is enough for me to consider gouging out my brain and squashing it flat. Well done.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 27 May 2003 23:34 (sixteen years ago) link

Cheating is bad.

Richard Basehart is good.

Would anyone like some soup?

zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Wednesday, 28 May 2003 17:48 (sixteen years ago) link

three months pass...
A new revive just because of my new favorite exchange dredged up from my memory banks, from The Sidehackers:

ROMMEL'S BUDDY (extolling the married life): "Listen, have you ever seen me so happy?"

JOEL (grouchily deadpan): "Yeah, but you didn't know I was watching."

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 September 2003 00:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Does this come on TV anymore? (Reruns, obv.)

NA (Nick A.), Friday, 26 September 2003 11:59 (sixteen years ago) link

I was going to try to start a Joel vs Mike FITE but then I remembered the audience and realized it would go nowhere.

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 September 2003 12:07 (sixteen years ago) link

Why? Too many old-schoolers? I would probably take Mike's side, if just to make things interesting.

NA (Nick A.), Friday, 26 September 2003 12:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Too many people think that the fight is stupid (which is also my opinion).

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 September 2003 12:21 (sixteen years ago) link

sidehackin is the thing to do, and it doesn't hurt to have a low IQ..

daria g (daria g), Friday, 26 September 2003 15:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Too many people think that the fight is stupid (which is also my opinion).

Yes. People who are kneejerk anti-Mike really annoy me.

Nicolars (Nicole), Friday, 26 September 2003 15:37 (sixteen years ago) link

My roommate and I recently watched "The Sword And The Dragon" again, and while it's not nearly as good a Finnish epic movie (or episode, in general) as the Sampo movie (whose name completely eludes me right now) it DOES have one of the best skits they ever did, "A Joke: A Film by August Strindberg". Which would be impossible to recreate in text so I won't even bother trying.

Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 26 September 2003 15:49 (sixteen years ago) link

it's not nearly as good a Finnish epic movie

I actually think it's the best one in terms of sheer budget-on-screen spectacle -- over the top and overacted at points but beats the fuck out of just about every sort of 'epic fantasy' movie after it (in the non-sci fi trappings sense) until recent days.

the Sampo movie


"Oh yah, I remember that day..." < / Minnesota grandma twang >

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 September 2003 15:53 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh yes yes yes. And yes "TS&TD" has really insanely high production values (what, did they just find some hideously deformed guy to play the windblowing imp, or is that actually a phenomenal makeup job?) but the plot is so arbitrary and pointless. "TDTEF" invests its plot with a bit more motivation and reason.

Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 26 September 2003 15:56 (sixteen years ago) link

Does this come on TV anymore? (Reruns, obv.)

Yes, Sci-Fi Channel episodes are still rerun on Saturday mornings for the time being. Catch them while you can!

"TDTEF" invests its plot with a bit more motivation and reason.

The minor fact that it's based on the Finnish national epic the Kalevala doesn't hurt (and believe it or not, that whole joke about the sampo is straight from the source tales in a way -- nobody really DOES know what a sampo is!).

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 September 2003 15:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Is this the program with the garish puppets on a spaceship?

David. (Cozen), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:22 (sixteen years ago) link

That's "Thunderbolts".

Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:23 (sixteen years ago) link

I think this is the thing I was thinking of. Was there a movie of this or something? You all seem to be talking like it was a show. And in the opening scene a hole blows open in the bottom of the spaceship and one of the robots sits in it and plugs it? What a rubbish film.

David. (Cozen), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:25 (sixteen years ago) link

It was a show, there was also a movie. You are deluded re: its quality, but I love you. Go here: -- and learn wisdom.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't believe I've ever imagined the possibility of someone who'd seen the movie without knowing about the tv show. Hunh.

The movie is about as funny as an average episode, but was designed to be seen in the theaters (which is to say, to be seen with a big group of people). The two times I saw it in the theater, it worked very well. (But yeah, the sketches from the movie aren't all that classic, and the single-camera approach of the TV show just works soooo much better... still, it was nice to see them have a modest budget for once.)

Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:39 (sixteen years ago) link

I saw the movie. Did they cut bits of "this island earth"? It seemed like they did.

jel -- (jel), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:49 (sixteen years ago) link

My absolute favorite was the one sketch where they were doing foley artist sound effects. Buffalo coming over a hill: Put a bunch of hamsters in a cardboard box and shake. Water buffalo?: Just add some milk!

Can anyone ID this episode for me? Sadly, my cable company has some malevolent policy of not providing the sci-fi channel. :-(

Dale the Titled (cprek), Friday, 26 September 2003 16:52 (sixteen years ago) link

Jel: Yes they did.

Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 26 September 2003 17:02 (sixteen years ago) link

Dale: IIRC that's Cave Dwellers, with everyone's favorite Miles O'Keefe. (It was a Comedy Central episode as well, but it's been released on VHS and DVD.)

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 September 2003 17:12 (sixteen years ago) link


Dale the Titled (cprek), Friday, 26 September 2003 17:26 (sixteen years ago) link

And what the hey, a recent Mike interview.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 27 September 2003 15:09 (sixteen years ago) link

we were just watching the '97 blockbuster special the other night.

During a preview of Contact "From The Producer of Forrest Gump" appears on the screen.

Mike: "So you can't say we didn't warn you."

zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Saturday, 27 September 2003 21:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Aw, man, on the list of things I wish I had actually taped, the Statuette special is up there.

Chris P (Chris P), Saturday, 27 September 2003 22:09 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm buying myself a little TV/VCR soon and my MST3K tapes are probably gonna be the first things to go in.

Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 September 2003 22:12 (sixteen years ago) link

three months pass...
OK, my girlfriend is a huge fan and I wanna get her one of the four DVD sets for her birthday. Which volume should I get?

Volume 1: Bloodlust, Catalina Caper, Creeping Terror, Skydivers
Volume 2: Angels Revenge, Cave Dwellers, Pod People, Shorts vol.1
Volume 3: Atomic Brain, Unearthly, Sidehackers, Shorts vol.2
Volume 4: Girl In Gold Boots, Hamlet, Overdrawn at Memory Bank, Space Mutiny

And I'm thinking of getting her "Manos" to boot...

alex in montreal, Tuesday, 6 January 2004 01:14 (fifteen years ago) link

Funny you should say this as my copy of Volume 4 just arrived today! Oh glorious Space Mutiny, oh horrid Overdrawn, oh wretched Girl In Gold Boots, oh murky Hamlet, how I love thee.

As for which one, well, if she's a fan of the later seasons when Pearl was in charge, then definitely number 4 (and as it is I think all four of those episodes are among their finest). Volume 1 is mostly Mike as opposed to Joel (if that matters), who just does Catalina Caper, but that and Skydivers are both great, Creeping Terror not far off. But all that said, I'd go with volume 2 for starters -- a fantastic Mike episode, two of Joel's best and some of the best shorts they did. No Mr. B Natural though, which is a crime. (Volume 3 I'd get last -- good episodes but none that immediately standout as spectacular, a couple of the shorts aside).

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 6 January 2004 01:26 (fifteen years ago) link

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