Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

A coworker who sits near me has been going on and on to anyone who'll listen (and even those who won't), for at least an hour, about burning a bag of popcorn in the microwave. This is the sad high point of her week, I guess? I'm torn between desperately wanting her to stop talking and a perverse desire to see how long I can get her to latch onto the topic. I'm guessing through the end of the week, easy, if I play my cards right.

my work from home days (2 days a week) just got taken away. ouchouchouchouch

shit my condolences. don't know what i would do w/out my wfh day.

why did they do it?

Oh man I would love to work from home or work part time... sigh.

My entire career goal is to one day go freelance. Work from home everyday. MM.

I feel bad for you, ss. That must be hard to take.

our company got taken over at the beginning of the year and i guess they just worked out our campus has a wfh policy. no reasoning except that they just don't like it. im mad but trying to tell myself that going in 5 days a week is what most people do and what i did before this job. its rough when you have a 3 day office week for years and then its taken away though.

Today I had a looooong debate with a co-worker where I tried to convince him that the Washington Monument, clearly visible outside the window, was actually called the Washington Monument. He thinks it is called the Obelisk. Seriously. And he won't change his mind.

Near the end, he also stated his belief that Van Jones is/was a " bombthrower", to which I replied "yeah but you think that's called the Obelisk" as I pointed out the window.

too much civ will do that to a mind.

If you're asking around to borrow a calculator, specify upfront that it is for a conference in Indianapolis that lasts through Tuesday.

ARGH ARGH ARGH ARHG ARGH.

The manager of our call centre is the most STUPID, annoying, ignorant, twunt I have had to deal with in a long time. I have been working for the PAST TWO MONTHS trying to get a report correct for her. Basically, we track All Calls, and then Answered Calls (as a subset of all calls) - and the conversion ratio for both.

So you have:
All calls (X) - Converstion Rate A%
Answered calls (Y) - Conversion Rate B%

We have been having lots of trouble trying to establish a way of correctly tracking Y, so Y has been going up and down the past few months. And yet she seems to be UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND that if Y changes, then B% will also change!

I sent her TWO emails last week explaining why Y has changed. With analysis showing that A isn't changing, so the data is correct, it's just our way of tabulating Y that's wrong.

Today I get an email going WAAAH WAAAAHHH WAAAAAAHHHH CONVERSION RATE B IS ALL WRONG!!!! Like, clearly, NOT having read any of the emails I sent her, or looked at the analysis or ANYTHING. DUH DUH DUH. If B is dependent on Y, and Y changes, then B will also change. What kind of elementary logic is that?

I am going to have to go up there later this week to basically EXPLAIN to her how to use Excel, as if that's not bad enough - do I also have to teach her how to READ FUCKING EMAILS?!?!?!??!! I guess I do.

Like, I understand that this is pretty techy stuff for non-maths-heads, but HOW DOES SHE HAVE HER JOB if she does not understand elementary maths?

It's just like... if I've sent two emails explaining why something has changed... and then I STILL get an email (cc:d in to all and sundry, like she does, which is another gripe, argh) saying OMG OMG THIS THING HAS CHANGED - LEARN HOW TO READ YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT.

So many office job descriptions should actually read ' you will stare vacantly into space, breathe through your mouth at all times, feign knowledge of your role and surreptitiously fart once an hour into an ergonomic chair.' Does this sound familiar?

Ha ha, no - that job description is me about 75% of the time.

This woman is just lacking in basic... I know it would be rich for me to call someone out on social skills, but it's like - everyone else in this place, if you do something for them, they'll email to say thanks, they'll get back to you fairly quickly if there's a problem. This woman, if there's a problem, she will wait a week, say nothing, until you finally try and chase her down, and THEN write an angry email (CC:ing in everyone and their boss) - which advertises nothing except "HI I DID NOT READ THE ORIGINAL EMAIL IN THE FIRST PLACE".

In this case, she IGNORED a really really blatant discrepency BECAUSE IT WAS IN HER DEPARTMENT'S FAVOUR - and resulted in the figures being what she "thought they should be." When the *programmer* pointed out the discrepency (the kind of thing SHE would have known about because she asked the computations to be done that way, I had no idea, as the computation was fairly counter-intuitive) the rates dropped back to normal levels, then she's all OH NOES YOU BE STEALING MY HIGH RATES.

it's hard to deal with shit like that. i cannot stand snarky all staffs emails or having my superiors cc'd for no reason other than to complain through email inclusion. normally i find it best to respond in kind (as in include everyone the sender did), address the concern (again) and as politely as possible point out why said person is an ignorant pile of useless.

The person who would do that to me in the office has been made redundant after 13 years' "service". Boo fucking hoo. Besides, if you are really going to drop a person in it there are other, craftier ways to go over their head (starting with the good old BCC) that get the job done.

you can get burnt doing that. i've seen it.

So a workmate comes up to me as I'm grabbing my stuff to pop out for lunch, to ask me about an email I'd just sent. So I pause, and in my usual silly way, pull what I assume is a kind of "yeees?" silly "whats up" face.

He almost leaps out of his skin startled, sucks air through his teeth, and flinches backwards, eyeing me in alarm. He continues to stand there going "uh..." and looking terrified, as I, now flustered, stammer "what? What?". He never explains his utterly bizzarre reaction and we continue our conversation.

I mean come on, it wasnt THAT silly a face, jesus. The guy reacts REALLY WEIRDLY to things a LOT. Takes offence and freaks out at the tiniest gesture or misread tone of voice. Its like he's lost all social ability.

there's only one way to settle this.. post wdyll of silly face

The one from last nights FAP looked horrible enough :(

aww

is the moral of this story "LOL, IT ASPIES"

Maybe I looked like this:

http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/object3/378/98/n63627971441_8170.jpg

xpost hahahaha.

We just fired one of our employees. :-(

What for, nath?

She wasn't needed anymore. But y'know, it fucks you up having to do that. I know it"s horrible getting fired but havong to do it, is crap as well. Of course financially more rewarding.

OK sales dude, if you ask me to send you an email explaining why a customer can't get any faster a connection speed than what they now have, can you TELL ME if you're going to forward it unedited to the damn customer, so I know to word it in such a way that they're not seeing all our internal processes you guys like to hide from the customers? That'd be just *super*, thanks very much. Grrr.

Not gonna read the whole thread to find out, but how many of you admit to BEING an annoying co-wowrker, at least part of the time? Me, I'm a world-class desk drummer - probably spend a half-hour each day tapping out complex drum patterns and fills (thumb = bass drum, fingertips = tomtoms, fingernail = snare). Not too loudly, but it's still gotta irritate somebody, right?

Yeah, my bf got hauled over the coals by his manager for doing precisely that :) I dont think it rly stopped him, mind you.

And I know I'm an annoying co-worker - I mutter to myself a lot and swear at things.

Desk drumming is probably the one "irritating" co-worker activity that I don't care about, because I seem to be able to block it out very easily.

This is an IT department. We are all mutterers and swearers-at-the-computer. This is perfectly normal behaviour for an IT department. We have that kind of personal relationship with our machines.

Whenever I get placed in another kind of department, I am invariably told off for my muttering and my swearing at the computer.

This is why you put all the IT weirdoes together in a basement. So we don't irritate normos.

my annoying co worker trait is being on a message board alllllll daaaay.

I'm a world-class desk drummer

Yeah, Myonga, and so am I.

And it's REALLY IRRITATING when I'm in an office where someone ELSE is as well!

Unless everyone else joins in and we all become Stomp or something.,.

Songs with two drummers

i do big ol dramatic sighs all the time. i never realize until theyre already out.

Orhan Panuk won, and he REALLY offends the Turkish (or at least their govt)

Argh wrong thread - second time I've done that in two days.

xp: sunny, i sigh all the time, but it's physioligical rather than "dramatic". I never noticed until a roommate complained.

otoh, i mutter and curse at least hourly.

physiological

Orhan Pamuk won what? I like him, I'd rather talk about him that the stupid annoying twunt in the call centre.

Sorry, it was for over in the Nobel Literature discussion, where people were saying only writers who didn't offend anybody won it.

Damn, here was me hoping there was n Orhan Pamuk thread.

Not gonna read the whole thread to find out, but how many of you admit to BEING an annoying co-wowrker,

i think i admitted to this a while ago.

i ain't seem to find it - maybe it was another thread - but i listed out all my "annoying coworker" sins at point. anyways here they are off the top of my head:

1) desk drumming
2) loud sighing
3) occasional singing
4) announcing when i've had a "good shit"
5) describing my more impressive poops in epic detail to my visibly uncomfortable coworkers
6) describing and detailing my sexual conquests
7) the occasional misreading emails and blaming others
8) blatantly ignoring coworkers i do not like
9) ignoring my phone
10) refusing to activate my voicemail

i think that's it.
for now.

high five! i do all of those except 1), which is disgusting.

4) announcing when i've had a "good shit"

I've just had a jolly good shit myself, old boy!

high five!

Top hole! er, ctually it was the bottom one (ba dum pssh!)

I think I might be annoying. Me and my coworker loudly rant about the rampant stupidity of this place daily. And sing. And chuck paperclips at one another. And laugh way too much for any of the sad sacks around us, I'm sure.

^ would sack^