Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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Yes. You have been accused of being a floor document put-er. how do you plead?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Are their names chaki too?

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:25 (seventeen years ago) link

What about co-workers who contantly say "That is sooooooo funny" rather than LAUGHING?

People who do that need to be slapped in the face. Over and over again.

I just went out in the rain to get a new desk chair, and the place WAS MOVING so they had about 5 chairs out. Now I look like a wet dog and my co-workers are laughing at my misfortune. Fuck all y'all.

― molly d (mollyd), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:26 (seventeen years ago) link

On the floor. He comes over with this stupid smirk on his face, drops it to the floor next to my chair and giggles to himself as he walks away. There's a letter sitting there right now that's been there since Tuesday.

Seriously, my dear, how have you not decked this dude, though? That makes me think of David Goben (that's right, fucker, google yourself. PS you also had bad, bad breath and also Patrick caught you snooping through people's trash to find shit on them).

― Allyzay Eisenschefter (allyzay), Thursday, 26 October 2006 20:31 (seventeen years ago) link

It'll stick to him better than being "a DJ."

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN!?!???@#@

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:17 (seventeen years ago) link

He's my boss, so no decking allowed, unfortunately.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:46 (seventeen years ago) link

He's my boss, so no decking allowed, unfortunately.
next time he comes over, stand up and scream "no i will not touch your cock"

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't get the problem with people putting work on your chair or keyboard. How long does it take to pick it up and put it where you'd prefer it? (Then again, I have never had an inbox, so.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I always leave things on people's chairs. Always. It is the accepted and expected way of doing things at my company.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:18 (seventeen years ago) link

I hafta say though that I no longer have any substantive complaints about anybody I work with. Sure, there's a few people with work-habit quirks, but that stuff is real minor on the annoyance scale.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:21 (seventeen years ago) link

I now have two part time jobs and no complaints about anyone I work with because I work TOTALLY ALONE. I'm glad they're not full time, I'd be crazy!

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:37 (seventeen years ago) link

our awful student mentioned upthread (who NEVER improved at all) has gone, hooray!

― H2-H4 (H2-H4), Thursday, 26 October 2006 22:54 (seventeen years ago) link

chair is for urgency only, not general notice

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Thursday, 26 October 2006 23:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Then again, I have never had an inbox, so.

Well, that makes all the difference. The point of the inbox is for ppl to put work there. Putting it elsewhere sez "You are an ass who never sees the inbox 10 inches from his face" or "My document is the most important, and I'm too busy to put a Post-It on it."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 12:45 (seventeen years ago) link

(I am going to put the inbox on my chair every time I step out, and see who comments first.)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 12:49 (seventeen years ago) link

Everybody here is okay personality-wise, but this one woman is afflicted with Inexplicable Office Inefficiency Disorder, an affliction that strikes it's victims incapable of accomplishing even the simplest tasks without expending a phenomenally disproportionate amount of time and/or effort. Symptoms include: inability to see things directly in front of them (even when assisted), inefficient typing/data-entry abilities (possibly due to hunt-and-peck disorder and/or ridiculously long fingernails), a predilection for double-entry, and dragon-like coffee/cigarette breath (may not be related).

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Friday, 27 October 2006 13:04 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm pretty amazed by the Inefficiency Disorder on display right behind my desk and especially the tendency of this extremely loud Californian to drag others into it. But most of all, I realized how stupid she was when earlier this week she said she thinks OJ is innocent.

― richardk (Richard K), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:07 (seventeen years ago) link

The glove didn't fit! They had to acquit!

― ONIMO's pet donkey jacket potato (GerryNemo), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:16 (seventeen years ago) link

wow, didn't know that was still the Caucasian IQ test, or is it 1996?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:18 (seventeen years ago) link

There's a test? Fuck!

― ONIMO's got some revising to do (GerryNemo), Friday, 27 October 2006 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

That same woman I mentioned above always puts the apostrophe in the wrong place in dates, ie 06' Toyota Highlander, Grammy Awards 06', etc. It is killing me.

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Friday, 27 October 2006 19:01 (seventeen years ago) link

The programmer who sits next to me has a Star Wars "Imperial March" ringtone on his phone. It was nerdy the first time I heard it when he started two months ago, but after five or six phone calls a day, every day. I want to light saber his head off.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 27 October 2006 21:35 (seventeen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Thanks for waiting til 4:20 Friday to give me the journal correx, then leaving before me, ASS EDITOR ASS.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 17 November 2006 22:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I just witnessed someone trimming their fingernails in their cubicle, accompanied by the *snip*snip* metal clipper sound.

I need a drink.

― molly d (mollyd), Monday, 20 November 2006 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link

three months pass...

argh, My co-worker just left his finished oatmeal in the microwave, forever.. .It beeps every 30 seconds after it's done and I could understand leaving it one or two beeps as your often instructed to do. but he left it in for five or six beeps and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him to take it out and goes after it wordlessy, slamming things all along. wtf? was that rude or am I just too wound up and shouldn't be bothered by constant beeping.

all of his food habits bother me, I tend to put on headphones whenever he's eating to avoid the sound but the microwave thing was just too much.

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 February 2007 14:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Prompted by the I HAS A BUCKET! seal picture (which has made me the most popular colleague ever, btw) we had a discussion about giant seals.

Colleague A: Have you seen how many there get on the one beach? Like, zillions!
Colleague B: They're pretty violent aren't they? Have you seen them fighting?
Me: I saw a documentary where one renegade bull seal started to rape a female, then they all followed suit. It was pretty alarming.
Director: (thoughtful pause) Yeah, I want to come back as one of them.

― Madchen, Thursday, 22 February 2007 14:48 (seventeen years ago) link

!!!!

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 February 2007 14:49 (seventeen years ago) link

so seriously, tell me if I was being rude by asking him to remove his oatmeal? there's only three of us in here and I don't like either person being angry with me.

― Ms Misery, Thursday, 22 February 2007 15:01 (seventeen years ago) link

My Mum leaves stuff in the microwave with it beeping every 3 seconds and it drives me absolutely bonkers. I'd start sending him an email for every beep or something.

― Madchen, Thursday, 22 February 2007 15:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Not stupid at all, but rather INCONVENIENT: we're both pregnant at the same time. SHEEEIT! This is going to be hell at the end of the year for me!

― nathalie, Thursday, 22 February 2007 15:17 (seventeen years ago) link

Sam, I don't think it was rude at all. People be wantin' to do things (even little things like put down their pencil and go to the m'wave) on their own timetable, and get annoyed when they're asked to adjust it, but it's not rude to ask them to if what they're doing is needlessly annoying.

― Rock Hardy, Thursday, 22 February 2007 15:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Scene: my office, yesterday.

Marketing sales guy next to me: "Have you got a calendar on your desk I can borrow?"
Me: "Whats wrong with using the one on yr Windows desktop?"
Dumbass: "Windows has a calendar? OH HEY WOW IT DOES! This is so cool!"
Me: .....

― Trayce, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 02:20 (seventeen years ago) link

there's only one guy in our office with speakers connected to his PC who sits there playing 'hilarious' youtube clips and stuff he finds online out loud several times a day because the manager of his department is his friend/neighbour and gave him the job as a favour. some of us are annoyed about his general noise, awful laugh (he always does a big over-the-top cough/wheeze type thing to demonstrate how amused he is) and the fact that he's not here to actually do any particularly useful work at all seemingly but feel we can't really say anything to his boss for aformentioned reasons. it would make us look like boring curmudgeons too i guess. sucks.

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 16:00 (seventeen years ago) link

ah good he's just fucked off early for the day.

― blueski, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 16:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought you worked on your own! Is this the multiple personalities thing we discussed?

― kv_nol, Wednesday, 28 February 2007 16:05 (seventeen years ago) link

omg he has actually started doing Lou & Andy impressions now.

― blueski, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:17 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought you worked on your own! Is this the multiple personalities thing we discussed?

i don't work on my own, i'm just the only person in the office who does what i do.

― blueski, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:18 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah i know

― onimo, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:19 (seventeen years ago) link

bah xpost

― onimo, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:20 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't mind 'yeah i know' so much - mainly cos i can pretend it's actually Eccleston Doctor. but saying 'i want that one', in 2007...the mind bogles.

― blueski, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:21 (seventeen years ago) link

I got a Little Britain birthday card last year from a family member. It was at this exact point I knew that I had been living away from my family for a long time, and my opinions, likes and dislikes were no longer known about. It was kind of depressing in a way.

― tissp, Friday, 2 March 2007 14:58 (seventeen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

sometimes my office takes a turn for locker-room style talk:

You know how you can tell if a girl has something on her like herpes or something? What you do is take a lemon or a lime and you squirt it on her pussy or her mouth and if she acts like it hurt real bad, she has something on her. Its true.

― g®▲Ðұ, Friday, 23 March 2007 00:06 (seventeen years ago) link

they got all the juicy details

― haitch, Friday, 23 March 2007 02:36 (seventeen years ago) link

when life gives you herpes...

― chaki, Friday, 23 March 2007 02:40 (seventeen years ago) link

So have you soured on your workplace, grady?

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 23 March 2007 02:59 (seventeen years ago) link

That sounds like something I might've heard or believed in 2nd or 3rd grade.

Did your co-worker have any suggestions about what kind of ruse might work for putting a twist of lime on a potential partner's snatchhole?

― Oilyrags, Friday, 23 March 2007 03:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear annoying co-worker now confirmed to also be stupid - if you are going to use another person's laptop to send email, log them out and log yourself in. Especially if you are using it to job hunt.

PS. The Montana State Highway Patrol would like you to know you are not qualified.

― Jaq, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 15:36 (seventeen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

i paraphrase, but basically:

"dear grimly. thanks for the e-mail you sent my colleague, which has been passed on to me. i'd like to open the attachment [nb, fact fans: the attachment was a fucking .txt file] in MS word. could you re-send the e-mail with the attachment pasted into the body of the e-mail so i can then cut and paste it into word?"

i despair. i really do.

― grimly fiendish, Sunday, 22 April 2007 22:15 (seventeen years ago) link

"Have a GREAT day." Sweet Jesus, George Carlin is right, in 80 years we get about 6 great minutes, so STFU.

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 30 April 2007 19:48 (seventeen years ago) link

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