football cliches that drive you mad

"Get in!"

More Lescottian, to be truthful. Louis will tell you all about it, he was there you know.

"The lads've given me 110%"

"The gaffer's come in and installed a bit of confidence"

On Match of the Day, referring to a non-big-4 player as "the defender" because the pundit can't be arsed to find out what their name is.

referring to foreign or smaller players as lightweight without any reference to their actual aggression/tackling/style of play

"sometimes you've got to hold your hands up"

How teams like Villa/Everton/Spurs etc. will overtake Arsenal in the top 4 because you need an English 'spine' to be successful. Just like those really English invincibles, Cech-Carvalho-Essien-Drogba etc.

"I've seen them given"
Which is particularly annoying in that everyone has seen blatant pens not given at one time or another so therefore doesn't tell us whether the commentator thinks its a pen or not!
Cop Out!!

all the ferguson stuff becomes cliché within about 3 mins of him saying it.

"squeaky bum time"
"wouldn't sell that lot a virus"
"hairdryer treatment"

etc etc

obv yeah 110 per cent or even better 200 per cent, love this sort of word inflation.

"I've seen them given"

God, yeah, I hate that. See also "it could have gone either way" BUT IT FUCKING DIDN'T, DID IT?

When you play Bolton/Blackburn/Stoke/Wigan/any other bunch of unfashionable Northerners "you know you're in a game" because they get "in your faces" and "compete for every ball" and "get it forward quickly". This usually accompanied by the truism that Arsenal don't like it up 'em.

they'll run all day!

"fortress" "hard to play" because of the "12th man". Fucking hell, it must be so bewildering for professional footballers to play in front of people!

"bunker ball"

is a bunker ball like a suicide pass?

"plays with a smile on his face"

seldom said about white players

No morelike "scrub team goes up 1-0, plays 10 men behind the midfield line for the rest of the game". I just hate the term.

lol it's often applied to USA nat'l team ;)

"that was liquid football"

― Chewshabadoo, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 08:37 (13 hours ago)

I am going to shout this in a british accent every time I poo

The one about foreigners and diving (as though British players never dive)

"he's really expressing his artistry" or words to that effect.

No, he's playing football.

''He's used his experience there'' or ''He's been clever there''

No, he's been a cheating bastard

"Won" a penalty <------ only used when players from English teams dive, of course

"Teddy Sheringham is always such an intelligent player" </90's>

The one about foreigners and diving (as though British players never dive)

See also foreign keepers and their preference for punching instead of Properly British Catching.

"One for the cameras" <----- snidey comment made by former outfield players, who know fuck-all about goalkeeping and are quick to blame goalkeepers for every single goal conceded

"no nonsense defender" = can't play football, kicks people.

"traditional/classic centre forward" = he's quite big and has elbows.

"Should have scored" after EVERY chance = oh fuck off, it's not that easy

skills, teamwork they're all important, but i have a feeling it's going to come down to a matter of who wants it more

Not surprising that the manager has stuck with the 4-4-2 formation. I'd say on the face of it, he's looking for another solid performance from his players

are these PES commentary quotes?

Wayne Rooney bends down to tie his shoelace:

Clive Tyldesley: "Roooooooooooooooooooooooooooney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

ya but rooney, tho

good to see defenders so good on the ball, so comfortable, they're more like midfield players than centre halves!

not the most adventurous play but a backpass always useful

Goal in the closing minutes:

Jonathan Pearce: "... and [insert name here] wins the game for [insert name here]"

... and when I say closing minutes, that could be up to 15 minutes from the end

the crowd adding so much to this game, the roars and the colours, giving this game a unique flavour

o that ken c

"one goal is never enough", "the second goal's the most important", and other such untrue truisms.

brings back the old argument about referees who have never played the game at this level

'takes a lot of skill to do that' - typically said after some first-time volley wonder goal

Of slow, old forwards: "He's got the extra yard in his head"

"It's their cup final" = e.g when Anderlecht, who have actually won a European competition, played Liverpool in the Champions League a few years back

... I was almost expecting it in the Arsenal v. Celtic game last night!

that's unfair tom. arsenal are a pretty big club.

True, but it must have been a novelty for their players to be playing in front of actual football fans

was probably a new experience for most celtic fans being in a library too though.

:p

celtic has triumphed over barcelona in a competition which is more than what arsenal had managed..

hearing alan hanson say 'non chalant' was a great MotD moment

ken c is killing it all over the football threads atm.