"asking questions"
― zappi, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 09:09 (fourteen years ago) link
"face", as in "Aldershot face Chesterfield in a mid-table clash" - use other words!
― NotEnough, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 09:19 (fourteen years ago) link
"it's important we get off to a good start"
like, no shit!
― Daniel Giraffe, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 09:25 (fourteen years ago) link
We're taking it one week at a time...
― Road Closed (SeekAltRoute), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 09:47 (fourteen years ago) link
It's not the result that matters at the moment, it's getting the process right...
― Road Closed (SeekAltRoute), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 09:49 (fourteen years ago) link
taking it one week at a time is a cliche that's a cliche because it deals with a beautiful, universal bit of profundity. :')
While you're dead right on Shearer, he's kinda right on Toni - if that guy could take his chances as well as he could inexplicably make them open up for himself then he'd be scoring every five minutes.
― Akon/Family (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 09:58 (fourteen years ago) link
"defender's just done enough to put him off there" as carragher/vidic blatantly fouls a spurs forward for the nth time in the box.
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:21 (fourteen years ago) link
hehe yeah.
Also "..maybe takes a sliiight deflection" after heavily praising a goal that is revealed on replay to have cannoned off a defender so it hard it completely changed direction.
― Susan Tully Blanchard (MPx4A), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:22 (fourteen years ago) link
Or results in a corner against Liverpool.
Also: "it's important we keep up the momentum" "It's importasnt we keep on scoring goals""It's important we keep the ball moving"
tbh, almost everything a footballer says drives me mad. Why bother with those post match interviews? They're not paid to talk.
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:25 (fourteen years ago) link
We really don't need to know the "gaffer" gave us a "good talk" at half time.
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:26 (fourteen years ago) link
in the spirit of that deflection one-
sticking with an incorrect offside/foul call the commentator's made, in the face of clear video evidence 5 seconds later
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:26 (fourteen years ago) link
be fair ned, those interview cliches are probably drilled into footballers from the age of 15 onwards as part of their media schooling
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:27 (fourteen years ago) link
''He's not that kind of player'' - after one of the worst tackles you've ever seen
― same dog, different leg action (Mr Raif), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:27 (fourteen years ago) link
"he's not that kind of player" is the most perfect example of "if you have to say it" that you're ever gonna see
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:29 (fourteen years ago) link
I know, and that's what irks me. Does anyone really need to hear their inane chat? Does it add one bit of understanding to the game? Can anyone not guess what the answer to the question "So, good game, must feel great to put two past their defence?"
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:30 (fourteen years ago) link
last throw of the dice
― 123456789 (jim), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:31 (fourteen years ago) link
"This could be dangerous"
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:32 (fourteen years ago) link
"manchester united are a great footballing side" no they aren't, not since teddy sheringham left ffs
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:33 (fourteen years ago) link
Can anyone not guess what the answer to the question "So, good game, must feel great to put two past their defence?"
it'll be worth it for that one occasion when someone ponders why their life is still so empty and meaningless after winning the Champions League.
― Akon/Family (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:36 (fourteen years ago) link
"He's hit it too well" or "Couldn't have hit it any better" when there's a near miss.
― Number None, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:45 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah too well is a classic. IF IT WAS HIT TOO WELL IT'D HAVE FUCKING GONE IN.
― 123456789 (jim), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:46 (fourteen years ago) link
Classic cliches: hail mary/hollywood pass.
"They are a team that plays football" to refer to teams that play one touch passing games instead of long ball. It's such fucking bullshit. Sure, Graham Taylor's Watford looked more akin to rugby but other than that, it's condescending and stupid.
― b hoy hoy (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:47 (fourteen years ago) link
xp nah, big ronnisms are totally different. lollipop, little eyebrows, etc
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:48 (fourteen years ago) link
Also, any time a commentators share a wry chuckle about "a typical Paul Scholes tackle." We get it already.
― Number None, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:48 (fourteen years ago) link
I always hoped that Pat Nevin would have done that. Maybe quote a Joy Division lyric. Never got the chance though did he.
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:48 (fourteen years ago) link
― 123456789 (jim), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:46 (59 seconds ago) Bookmark
QUARTERBACK PASSES.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44488000/jpg/_44488336_ab21.jpg
― b hoy hoy (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:49 (fourteen years ago) link
yes Ronglish is genius, one of the reasons I really like Andy Gray, one of the most dedicated users of the Ronglish lexicon currently on television http://www.dangerhere.com/ronglish.htm
― 123456789 (jim), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:51 (fourteen years ago) link
Oh god, "hospital pass" - hear this every match on a local station now.
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:51 (fourteen years ago) link
I quite like "hospital ball", it's evocative.
― Susan Tully Blanchard (MPx4A), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:52 (fourteen years ago) link
took me years to get 'hospital pass' tbh
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:56 (fourteen years ago) link
still not entirely sure, tbph
everyone should take time out to read dangerhere.com, although i'm not sure all the archived stuff is still there?
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:57 (fourteen years ago) link
xpThe first time I heard it, yes, but now (for this one particular commentator anyway) it's every high ball.
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:58 (fourteen years ago) link
Agreed with ahoyhoy - that "they play football in the right way" thing is infuriating. Especially when mixed with reference to principles ("I try to stick to my pronciples"), ugh.
― Tim, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:58 (fourteen years ago) link
i thought a hospital pass was one likely to put the recipient in danger?
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:00 (fourteen years ago) link
Any mention of "that night in Barcelona" during Man Utd Champions League coverage.
― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:02 (fourteen years ago) link
'pronciples' is a beautiful typo
― my curvy girlfriend, who is Columbian, turned to me and said: (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:03 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah i thought a hospital pass was a pass that's a little bit short in a way that puts the receiver in danger of receiving a clattering tackle.
― 123456789 (jim), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:04 (fourteen years ago) link
"He won't be happy with that""It's nice, but I wasn't really thinking about [reaching some milestone or other] - the important thing is that we got the three points""We're not getting carried away, we're just taking each game as it comes, we've got an important game against Birmingham/Crewe/Blyth Spartans on Tuesday night and we're focusing on that"
― Teh Movable Object (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:04 (fourteen years ago) link
The concept of "doing the opposition's team talk for them"
― Susan Tully Blanchard (MPx4A), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:06 (fourteen years ago) link
"marginal" for offside decisions that can, with the help of the video replays that we have and the officials don't, be easily determined to be one way or the other is always going to be my no.1 irritant over here
― my curvy girlfriend, who is Columbian, turned to me and said: (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:06 (fourteen years ago) link
I mean if Steve Bruce's method for getting Blues psyched up for derbies was sellotaping Olof Mellberg quotes to the dressing room door no wonder they kept getting relegated
Yeah, blatant intelligence-insulting lying about what you can actually see happening on screen is the most annoying thing by far
― Susan Tully Blanchard (MPx4A), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:07 (fourteen years ago) link
"It's nice, but I wasn't really thinking about [reaching some milestone or other] - the important thing is that we got the three points""We're not getting carried away, we're just taking each game as it comes, we've got an important game against Birmingham/Crewe/Blyth Spartans on Tuesday night and we're focusing on that"
I hear ya but from their POV I can see why being considered dull and cliched by ppl watching at home would be preferable to being considered shortsighted and/or self-centred y'know?
― my curvy girlfriend, who is Columbian, turned to me and said: (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:09 (fourteen years ago) link
Also, "they don't like it up 'em" as if it is terrible to not want to be kicked and attacked.
There was a game two seasons ago where we played Blackburn and in the motd highlights Shearer used this. Which is great and all but while he was too busy spouting this cliche, they neglected to show Gamst stepping on Hleb's neck at one point.
― b hoy hoy (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:21 (fourteen years ago) link
This may be why I've been confused listening to radio commentary because I thought it was a lofty ball which leads to two or more heads going up, leading to a collision and onto A & E.
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:23 (fourteen years ago) link
Computer says it could be either but earliest use seems to be a short pass in rugby. Which makes more sense. Ouch.
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:26 (fourteen years ago) link
"Last chance saloon"
― Daniel Giraffe, Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:27 (fourteen years ago) link
hmm maybe she's jealous of crouchy. an aspect i hadn't considered tbh.
― Black IP's (darraghmac), Monday, 10 May 2010 09:13 (fourteen years ago) link
stonewall penalty
― Daniel Giraffe, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:15 (thirteen years ago) link
now there's a football saying that's at least three removes away from correct usage of the original term, right?
― May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:16 (thirteen years ago) link
It does make you wonder how it found its way into football vocabulary.
― Daniel Giraffe, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:17 (thirteen years ago) link
'He's gone over as if....falling over a low stone wall there Brian?"
― May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:18 (thirteen years ago) link
On a more topical theme, when Emile Heskey is picked again, we will no doubt be reminded ad nauseam that he 'does things that most people don't notice'.
― Daniel Giraffe, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:34 (thirteen years ago) link
That one's just gonna get repeatedly clunked against the "I don't care what anyone says, if you're a striker you have to score goals" one until something gives.
― MPx4A, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:36 (thirteen years ago) link
One thing that nobody has considered is that Heskey is so good he scores goals that people don't notice.
― MPx4A, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:37 (thirteen years ago) link
pedrofuckingmendes.gif
― May be half naked, but knows a good headline when he sees it (darraghmac), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:38 (thirteen years ago) link
Heskey workin thru a proof of the Riemann Hypothesis in his head while the neanderthals around him insist on kicking a sphere. actually that may be more of a Berbatov.
― Hippocrates or wat!! (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:40 (thirteen years ago) link
"It's their cup final" = e.g when Anderlecht, who have actually won a European competition, played Liverpool in the Champions League a few years back
Neil Warnock actually said, about Barrow. "It's their cup final"... just before Barrow were about to play Stevenage in the, errrrrr, FA Trophy Cup Final
― Wenlock & Mandelson (Tom D.), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:40 (thirteen years ago) link
Berbatov blatantly thinks about nothing but genocide, look at his eyes.
― MPx4A, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:41 (thirteen years ago) link
the way the word FOOTBALL is constantly repeated like we don't know what the moronic game is called
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:44 (thirteen years ago) link
(US version obv)
like we don't know what the moronic game is called
I thought this was true?
― MPx4A, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 11:46 (thirteen years ago) link
yes, that occurred to me
― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 12:02 (thirteen years ago) link
cliches are often cliches for a reason. I don't think it unreasonable to expect strikers to score goals though 7 goals in 11 years says a shitload of England managers disagree.
― this skit is ba-na-nas (onimo), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 12:23 (thirteen years ago) link
Without wishing to reopen the Heskey debate, I think in my post above I was just bemoaning the patronising nature of being told, in effect, "you, the thicko public, just don't see how great he is"
― Daniel Giraffe, Tuesday, 25 May 2010 12:28 (thirteen years ago) link
...just before Barrow were about to play Stevenage in the, errrrrr, FA Trophy Cup Final
Would that be the final of the FA Trophy Cup?
― I Ain't Committing Suicide For No Crab (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Tuesday, 25 May 2010 21:52 (thirteen years ago) link
Invoking Greek mythology whenever Greece or a Greek team are playing
― Wenlock & Mandelson (Tom D.), Thursday, 10 June 2010 12:56 (thirteen years ago) link
Yes, Tom, and that old one about Greeks bearing gifts.
World Cup revive, by the way.
― Daniel Giraffe, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 08:21 (thirteen years ago) link
They're just happy to be here
― ======<() bzbzbzbzbzzbzbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbzbzzbzbzbzb (onimo), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 09:16 (thirteen years ago) link
This sums it up nicely: http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2010/jun/05/world-cup-2010-cliches
The Italians 'revert to type'Just about everybody connected with English football believes that when push comes to shove Italy always fall back on defensive-minded cynicism. The finest example of this attitude came from Barry Davies after the Azzurri's defeat by South Korea in 2002: "And you have to say they have got what they deserve, because they just will not learn." Italy have won the World Cup four times; England have won it once. This suggests that whatever the Italians have failed to learn was maybe not worth knowing in the first place.
Just about everybody connected with English football believes that when push comes to shove Italy always fall back on defensive-minded cynicism. The finest example of this attitude came from Barry Davies after the Azzurri's defeat by South Korea in 2002: "And you have to say they have got what they deserve, because they just will not learn." Italy have won the World Cup four times; England have won it once. This suggests that whatever the Italians have failed to learn was maybe not worth knowing in the first place.
― Neil S, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 09:39 (thirteen years ago) link
Considered zing
― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 10:03 (thirteen years ago) link
I had the conversation about the Germans with a work colleague earlier on. "Like a machine" he said. I pointed out that they were great to watch, inventive and quick the other night, but he was having none of it.
― Daniel Giraffe, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 10:34 (thirteen years ago) link
Germans passing the Turing test
― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 10:37 (thirteen years ago) link
It's not exactly news that Barry Davies is an idiot, but nevertheless it's always worth restating.
― Neil S, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 10:41 (thirteen years ago) link
Machines can be great to watch and quick imo, so your colleague gets a pass xps
― heywood jabulani (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 10:41 (thirteen years ago) link
Only a matter of time before those manufacturing segments in kid's tv shows just default to Klinnsman passing it into the far corner every time.
― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 10:55 (thirteen years ago) link
― Daniel Giraffe, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 11:34 (21 minutes ago)
haha
i think it was established in an earlier thread that a lot of casual or stupid viewers srsly seem to take the cliches and phoned-in punditry shite as read
― nakhchivan, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 10:59 (thirteen years ago) link
or heard
― nakhchivan, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 11:00 (thirteen years ago) link
xpost re:'Italians revert to type'The thing is, that doesn't really disprove anything. The Italians have a reputation for falling back on defensive-minded cynicism because they have a track record of falling back on defensive-minded cynicism. They've won more World Cups than England, sure, but that's because they're often very effective at defensive-minded cynicism, not because they're crazy all-out-attack kings of flamboyant lunacy. England are neither of these things.
― I Ain't Committing Suicide For No Crab (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:15 (thirteen years ago) link
england reverted to kick'n'rush type against USA, tbh
― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:37 (thirteen years ago) link
Germany have been fun for a while!
― If the US had a dictator we'd call him coach (Michael White), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:40 (thirteen years ago) link
Germany have been the most consistently entertaining international side for nigh on a decade now
― Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:47 (thirteen years ago) link
xp since 06 at least? iirc they were still quite dreadful in 02 wc
― sonderangerbot, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:47 (thirteen years ago) link
I thought they were okay in 02, but yeah they've been great since they got a bit cavalier to cover up their vulnerabilities
― Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:50 (thirteen years ago) link
They were okay in '02 but in '06 their battle against Italy took on almost a moral character for me, like the good vs the dark side of football.
― If the US had a dictator we'd call him coach (Michael White), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:54 (thirteen years ago) link
the current Germany is definitely a beautiful machine! Actually so are all good football teams to me. I guess I just love the idea of machines.
― Hippocrates or wat!! (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 21:53 (thirteen years ago) link
Voller took them down a bad path but credit goes to both Jurgen and Jogi for the marked difference in the last 4 years
― mdskltr (blueski), Wednesday, 16 June 2010 21:55 (thirteen years ago) link
"just banter"
― Daniel Giraffe, Thursday, 27 January 2011 11:28 (thirteen years ago) link