LOLZ @ LAWYERS

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Mistrial! The judge is fondling himself.

86 HAVE YOU EVER NEEDED SOMEONE SO BAD DEF LEPPARD (deangulberry), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 22:43 (eighteen years ago) link

four years pass...

some pretty intense drama went down today on the Wisconsin Hispanic Lawyers Association mailing list~

From: Alan
To: Wisconsin Hispanic Lawyers Association
Sent: Thu Jan 21 08:54:09 2010
Subject: WHLA event

Comment from a member of the public can't believe this...
Not only are they holding the event at a “Mexican” Restaurant that is not owned by Mexicans,
They are having this party outside of the Latino community vicinity. Viva La Raza!

From: Enrique
To: Wisconsin Hispanic Lawyers Association
Sent: Thursday, January 21, 2010 10:00 AM
Subject: Re: WHLA event

What's your deal, Alan? You seem intent on fomenting controversy/conspiracy where there is none. Please save your adversarial comments for your practice.
-Enrique

From: Peter
Sent: Thursday, January 21, 2010 9:53 PM
To: Wisconsin Hispanic Lawyers Association
Subject: RE: WHLA event

Alan,
Why do you continue to make absurd statements? Enrique’s comment was not a personal attack.
If you do not like where the party is being held do not attend.
If you have a problem with the ethnic makeup of the owners of El Fuego, I suggest you take your issues up with them personally.
Let us see how long they tolerate your nonsense.
Peter

From: Alan
Sent: Thursday, January 21, 2010 10:09 PM
To: Wisconsin Hispanic Lawyers Association
Subject: RE: WHLA event

Enrique’s comment was not just a personal attack, it was ANOTHER ONE. You accusing me of making a nonsensical statement because of a tame criticism by me, is also a personal attack, typical of your attitude towards me. The family that owns El Fuego are friends of mine. I have no criticism of them. You don’t get it. This group is having the event outside the Hispanic community at a place not owned by Latinos is very consistent with this group’s elitist attitudes, a comment made by another, and I will not name him, but he is correct. As a member, I and anyone else can criticize. It’s a little concept called the first amendment, which some lawyers are not familiar with or have no respect for it. You, Peter, think you are above criticism. There are a hundred Latino businesses that could use the business in these difficult times.

From: Peter
Date: Thu, Jan 21, 2010 at 10:44 PM
Subject: RE: WHLA event
To: Wisconsin Hispanic Lawyers Association

Alan,
Let us set matters straight. Your “tame criticism” like your response to my comment speaks volumes about you as a person and a lawyer.
First, it is unnecessary and foolish on your part to talk down to me or any member of this organization. Perhaps you should take your business elsewhere. I feel safe saying- although I am not speaking on behalf of- most of the membership would be better served if you did.
Second, there are members of this organization that are committed and dedicated to maintaining and keeping it viable and well respected. I am referring to the officers and countless others who give a large amount of their time.
Third, I am still convinced after all these years that you have an injudicious understanding of the First Amendment.
Finally, I do not want to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man, but you cannot be serious about your last statement. What next, the Asian bar should have their party at an Asian owned business, the Jewish Bar should have their party at the JCC, the African American Bar should have their party at an African American owned business, the Justinian Society should have their party at the ICC… shall I keep going?
This group is the furthest from “Elitist”. I am just sorry you do not get it.

iiiijjjj, Friday, 22 January 2010 05:26 (fourteen years ago) link

I do not want to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man,

Joint Custody (ian), Friday, 22 January 2010 05:30 (fourteen years ago) link

i'm 100% with alan on this one btw. el fuego is some straight B.S. (bull shit), as evidenced by this JPEG image depicting its colonial spanish hacienda interior

http://i49.tinypic.com/sd0nyu.jpg

iiiijjjj, Friday, 22 January 2010 05:45 (fourteen years ago) link

i know we're not really supposed to "do meta" or whatever, but is it okay to say that i imagine these guys are the gabbnebs of their particular lawyering assosciating?

Joint Custody (ian), Friday, 22 January 2010 06:06 (fourteen years ago) link

i'm mostly annoyed that a guy who can't put a coherent sentence together is employed while i am not.

tehresa, Friday, 22 January 2010 06:14 (fourteen years ago) link

lawyers are so fucking boring

randy e. bugler (jeff), Friday, 22 January 2010 08:18 (fourteen years ago) link

i am boring yes

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Friday, 22 January 2010 12:36 (fourteen years ago) link

i will be here tomorrow LOLZ

http://developdontdestroy.org/php/latestnews_ArchiveDate.php

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Thursday, 28 January 2010 15:20 (fourteen years ago) link

boondoggle

♖♕♖ (am0n), Thursday, 28 January 2010 15:56 (fourteen years ago) link

DDDB

Joint Custody (ian), Thursday, 28 January 2010 16:18 (fourteen years ago) link

will you be opposing this petition cutty

harbl, Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link

you got me all wrong!

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:44 (fourteen years ago) link

i do eminent domain for NYC. so i certainly would not be opposing this. but this is a state project, so i am not involved. i will be there opposing a motion on my own proceeding.

but i'll get to watch the madness.

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:45 (fourteen years ago) link

oh ok, i knew you worked for the city but didn't know if the city didn't want to eminent domain it or how that process works

harbl, Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:51 (fourteen years ago) link

ah, i see. the city has put in many amicus briefs supporting the atlantic yards project.

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:52 (fourteen years ago) link

i will be at the c3ntral b0oking and int4ke facility

harbl, Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link

unnecessary googleproofing? i dunno

harbl, Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link

I said it elsewhere but second day at new job today

sexy accused

I think ur a probotector (cozen), Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link

accuseds have bad breath imo

harbl, Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:56 (fourteen years ago) link

accused bologna breath

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Thursday, 28 January 2010 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link

dammmmmmn contentious stuff is reaaaaaaaall boring; so tedious and laborious

I think ur a probotector (cozen), Friday, 29 January 2010 21:18 (fourteen years ago) link

"i'm sure superman would have quit ages ago if he didn't get to rescue a grateful kid or a hottie from time to time"
makes u think

forksclovetofu, Friday, 29 January 2010 21:45 (fourteen years ago) link

cutty are u like an actual practicing lawyer

scent of a wolfman (s1ocki), Friday, 29 January 2010 21:55 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm not (anymore)

I think ur a probotector (cozen), Friday, 29 January 2010 21:56 (fourteen years ago) link

coz u were a lawyer? not just a borad lawyer?

forksclovetofu, Friday, 29 January 2010 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

is gabbneb anti-boondoggle

♖♕♖ (am0n), Friday, 29 January 2010 22:09 (fourteen years ago) link

boongabble

forksclovetofu, Friday, 29 January 2010 22:10 (fourteen years ago) link

gabnebble

iiiijjjj, Friday, 29 January 2010 22:21 (fourteen years ago) link

I am qualified but don't practice, forks

I think ur a probotector (cozen), Friday, 29 January 2010 22:27 (fourteen years ago) link

how did you get near the sexy accused then coz

harbl, Friday, 29 January 2010 22:28 (fourteen years ago) link

he's the accuser

♖♕♖ (am0n), Friday, 29 January 2010 22:36 (fourteen years ago) link

$$$ working freelance $$$

I think ur a probotector (cozen), Friday, 29 January 2010 22:39 (fourteen years ago) link

not as lawyer (I don't do contentious/court work usually) just doing a watching brief for a client

court hours (10-4) and mad skrilla :D

I think ur a probotector (cozen), Friday, 29 January 2010 22:39 (fourteen years ago) link

it's true, freelance work is what commands the big $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Daniel, Esq., Friday, 29 January 2010 22:41 (fourteen years ago) link

cutty are u like an actual practicing lawyer

yes

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Friday, 29 January 2010 23:35 (fourteen years ago) link

i am a litigator

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Friday, 29 January 2010 23:36 (fourteen years ago) link

cutty what is your onbike nutrition for 80 miles in Zone 3 with about 7k feet of gross climbing?

┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐ (Steve Shasta), Saturday, 30 January 2010 00:00 (fourteen years ago) link

i dont think you should spend 80 miles in Z3

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Saturday, 30 January 2010 00:17 (fourteen years ago) link

what if youre on the program and being paid to drag LA to the bottom la mongie

u b ilxin' (Hunt3r), Saturday, 30 January 2010 01:46 (fourteen years ago) link

then it's your job!!! 80 miles in Z4

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Saturday, 30 January 2010 01:47 (fourteen years ago) link

coz, are you like a bannister? or a railgrip? what the hell do you britishes call it?

forksclovetofu, Saturday, 30 January 2010 05:25 (fourteen years ago) link

INCONTROVERTABLE PROOF OF HOW EXCITING LAWYERS ARE

http://www.youtube.com/user/MarriageTrial#p/a/u/1/6zLtYQ6K1rI

Daniel, Esq., Friday, 5 February 2010 03:08 (fourteen years ago) link

Sorry, "incontrovertible."

Actually, it is a very interesting reenactment, but mostly to lawyers (i.e., insider baseball).

Daniel, Esq., Friday, 5 February 2010 03:10 (fourteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESJINXeBjhc

♖♕♖ (am0n), Friday, 5 February 2010 16:40 (fourteen years ago) link

What is a "document review" and what does it practically entail? I do not understand "contract law" in general I think.

Let's see how tough Aquaman is once we get him in the water. (Laurel), Friday, 5 February 2010 16:43 (fourteen years ago) link

JONES, ESQ.

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Friday, 5 February 2010 16:45 (fourteen years ago) link

laurel, document review is like--you are an attorney but your job is to wade through piles of e-discovery documents redacting privileged information. it's grunt work and it's pretty horrible work for someone to do permanently as a lawyer.

many people who couldn't/can't get jobs out of law school do this as a temp job, then find out later without any formal REAL lawyer training they will never get a job anywhere else. it's scary.

for temp work, it's not bad pay.

sir ilx-a-lot (cutty), Friday, 5 February 2010 16:47 (fourteen years ago) link

document review generally refers to a portion of discovery or litigation preparation. firms will often hire temporary "contract attorneys" (that is, they are not staff attorneys or associates) to do this. it is mind numbingly terrible usually, reading troves of email, correspondence or what have you, then making determinations as to the responsiveness of the document to a request for production. also, the docs will be reviewed for privilege or sensitivity, etc.

u b ilxin' (Hunt3r), Friday, 5 February 2010 16:48 (fourteen years ago) link

MY BEST MEMORIES, ONCE ALL FIRSTLIFE MEMORIES WERE ERASED FROM MINDDRIVE, ARE THE ALL-NIGHTERS

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Tuesday, 8 September 2015 13:48 (eight years ago) link

clause 9.2, been there man

Meta Forksclove-Liebeskind (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 8 September 2015 14:04 (eight years ago) link

nothing gets the heart racing quite like memories of billable hours past

all my friends are vampires (art), Tuesday, 8 September 2015 14:24 (eight years ago) link

The twinkle in his eyes as he drops his guard a bit really pulls it through for me.

pplains, Tuesday, 8 September 2015 14:44 (eight years ago) link

There's a lot, and nothing at all, going on in those 44 seconds.

Three Word Username, Tuesday, 8 September 2015 15:23 (eight years ago) link

i watched it again. he has the face of a man who hasn't slept in years. it's all about the written word.

computer champion (harbl), Tuesday, 8 September 2015 21:35 (eight years ago) link

He has wet eyes

, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 05:05 (eight years ago) link

...and is unconciously shaking his head "NO NO NO". It's a sad sick world and the good times have been gone for about 20 years or so.

Three Word Username, Wednesday, 9 September 2015 06:38 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

relatedly

"One thing ... that's very different from 10 years ago is that associates have a perspective on balance that was never discussed before," Kowalczyk said. "Finding a firm in a regional legal market that allows them to do quality work, get paid well and still go home to their families at 8 p.m. is very attractive."

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Thursday, 29 October 2015 21:39 (eight years ago) link

was gonna put this on the lindsay lohan hot ready and legal thread but it's a long thread
http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/crimprof_blog/2015/11/young-ready-on-body-worn-camera-activation-among-police-officers.html

#amazing #babies #touching (harbl), Friday, 6 November 2015 01:45 (eight years ago) link

five months pass...

better call barry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb3gPWoKZ84

am0n, Sunday, 17 April 2016 18:41 (eight years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/Bq3AlqQ.jpg

, Wednesday, 27 April 2016 19:29 (seven years ago) link

love those forfeiture captions they never get old

#amazing #babies #touching (harbl), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 22:44 (seven years ago) link

They're like little portraits of lives.

JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:03 (seven years ago) link

DEA case in California from what I can see in pacer. What a pulp character.

bothan zulu (El Tomboto), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:15 (seven years ago) link

http://www.rossintelligence.com/lawyers/

am0n, Thursday, 12 May 2016 17:40 (seven years ago) link

https://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/appdiv/manualonstyle.pdf

, Friday, 13 May 2016 16:47 (seven years ago) link

hahaha

was really hoping the whole thing would be in comic sans and not just the cover

JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Friday, 13 May 2016 17:04 (seven years ago) link

lolz

johnny crunch, Tuesday, 17 May 2016 16:40 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

http://i.imgur.com/DjtqCaI.png

, Sunday, 24 July 2016 18:52 (seven years ago) link

six months pass...

Wertkin, who worked in Washington for Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld LLP, believed he would hand a copy of a complaint to an employee of the company, which was accused in the complaint by a whistle-blower of falsely billing the government. Wertkin, who was wearing a wig and using the name of Dan, was met instead by an FBI agent, according to arrest documents unsealed on Feb. 6.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-02-08/akin-gump-lawyer-accused-of-trying-to-sell-lawsuit-under-seal

, Thursday, 9 February 2017 16:39 (seven years ago) link

false dan

mh 😏, Thursday, 9 February 2017 17:04 (seven years ago) link

wertkin'd

El Tomboto, Friday, 10 February 2017 01:53 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

https://i.imgur.com/qjel5f1.jpg

, Wednesday, 15 March 2017 16:58 (seven years ago) link

How did those children graduate with her?

pplains, Wednesday, 15 March 2017 17:15 (seven years ago) link

four weeks pass...

do you ever start to read a transcript of yourself feeling dread you will look like an idiot, keep reading, then say damn this is some good lawyering who is this

assawoman bay (harbl), Wednesday, 12 April 2017 01:13 (seven years ago) link

he he

niels, Wednesday, 12 April 2017 07:53 (seven years ago) link

four months pass...

https://i.imgur.com/CGcHRsk.jpg

, Thursday, 24 August 2017 13:09 (six years ago) link

one year passes...

CLE is such a fucking scam. I'm trying to get 24 credits done in a week (oops). I bought one of those online packages -- all you have to do is leave it running very quietly in the background, because the videos pause when the code you need to demonstrate participation is given out. The one I'm watching now is about wellness for lawyers and literally included a guided meditation.

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Monday, 26 November 2018 23:13 (five years ago) link

one year passes...

loool I'm in the same position as my last revive two years ago. Today's BS CLE was on how not to be stressed or some bullshit.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 18 November 2020 04:20 (three years ago) link

But the reason I actually revived was that I spent the last several days in brutal deposition preparations with a very meticulous partner who wanted his 90-page outline perfect. Anyone who knows me knows I (1) hate working in this way and (2) am terrified of making mistakes at work. In the middle of reviewing the outline I noted to the partner that there was a typo in the document number. He then said "We need to sit down and talk about this." My heart sank for about a full 30 seconds before I realized he was just reading the first line of the document we had come to in the outline.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 18 November 2020 04:22 (three years ago) link

No, I'm sorry. "We need to sit down and talk about this" is the name of my dog.

pplains, Wednesday, 18 November 2020 11:47 (three years ago) link

The guy defending the deposition I'm watching right now is the biggest schmuck.

He has repeatedly objected to "reading a document not admitted into evidence." Nothing is admitted into evidence, this is a deposition. He also keeps objecting to "hearsay" the second a document is introduced and before any statement from it has actually be referred to.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 19 November 2020 21:34 (three years ago) link

five months pass...

There’s definitely a feeling of “how long can I keep up this charade” to litigating from home in sweatpants.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 May 2021 03:34 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

Loving this Boston defense attorney’s content pic.twitter.com/AVXWkfi6at

— 𝔅𝔞𝔟𝔶 𝔤𝔲𝔯𝔩 𝔡𝔞 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔰 (@sug_knight) July 29, 2021

have literally argued this defense irl

criminally negligible (harbl), Friday, 30 July 2021 22:05 (two years ago) link

one year passes...

The “LawTube” trend is excruciating but I’m fascinated by the people, mostly women in their 40s and 50s, that donate to these creeps. They are usually male personal injury lawyers in their 30s or 40s. It’s barely “true crime” and mostly consists of moaning about millennials, expungement, and bail reform.

Allen (etaeoe), Tuesday, 18 October 2022 16:52 (one year ago) link

“Thanks for the donation “PotteryMom,” “#JusticeForSally!”

Allen (etaeoe), Tuesday, 18 October 2022 16:53 (one year ago) link

I also don’t want people to confuse this with courts streaming their proceedings. I think that’s (conceptually) good and sometimes enjoy watching them. It’s just the “reaction” culture that I find really gross.

Allen (etaeoe), Tuesday, 18 October 2022 16:55 (one year ago) link

Verdict Unsealing videos

stank viola (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 18 October 2022 16:57 (one year ago) link


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