The Best Of The 50 Worst Rock-n-Roll Albums Of All Time

I like Donovan, so I'm voting for Donovan.

I voted for Donovan too. That's the only record I'm genuinely surprised to see up there.

I'll admit to not having heard 80% of these albums, but Europe '72 is indisputably smokin', and about 10 years before the Dead "descended into self-parody."

Reed, Presley, Donovan, Jovi, Tull, and Yes all get thumbs-up.

Hating on "Greatest Hits" albums is a sucker move. Who are these crapheads?

Guterman wrote for Rolling Stone and authored books on Jerry Lee Lewis, The Sex Pistols, Springsteen, and Sinead.

I voted for Days of Future Passed. "Nights in White Satin" and "Tuesday Afternoon" are still great tunes by themselves, not to mention "Dawn is a Feeling" and "Evening Time to Get Away".

I like Song Cycle!

FISTS ... SHAKING ... WITH ... RAGE ... AT ... THIS ... LIST!!!!

Sure there's some badduns on this list but the inclusion of Lou baby's sweet metal paen and the Queen 2 rekkid makes me want these guys' address.

Jimmy Guterman
1313 Mockingbird Ln.
Red Seal, NY 12121

Donovan - Greatest Hits

??????????????????????????????????????

yeah, why donovan??

fuck that asshole I'm voting for Donovan

The inclusion of "Slippery When Wet" is preposterous!! For shame, Messers Guterman and O'Donnell!!

"Remember when we lost the keys/And you lost more than that in my back seat" is hilarious.

it's a really stupid line, but if you're getting all heated about a bon jovi lyric the problem is clearly with you, not them.

Another vote for Donovan

That one just isn't even justifiable as a pick for this

Queen II is one of the best records released by anyone

ELP made many, many worse records than Tarkus.

um...aqualung? queen II?? unforgettable fire??? the mind boggles

I like that Moody Blues album. A lot.

I'm not a Bon Jovi fan but surely all their other albums are worse than Slippery When Wet.

Reed, Lou - Metal Machine Music

Stopped reading the list after this. Choice made.

Randomly idiotic and antagonizing for the sake of antagonization, why many contribute to ILM less and less.

There's a couple things wrong with Self Portrait, mainly the inclusion of two live tracks, but that's all. I move.

xpost nath yeah, nearly voted that one but that often gets big votes round here.

fuck that asshole I'm voting for Donovan

very eloquent. well done.

I do my best.

Randomly idiotic and antagonizing for the sake of antagonization, why many contribute to ILM less and less.

I don't know about that, George--the book was at the very least amusing at the time, and a poll thread based on same is certainly worthy of discussion.

My vote goes to Donovan. And yeah, even though I can imagine wimpophobics and people allergic to good, silly fun hatin' on that particular record (and Donovan in general), that doesn't mean we should let them off the hook so easily.

He's not even that wimpy, and on some tracks his backing band is LED ZEPPELIN.

Right. "Season of the Witch" and "Hurdy Gurdy Man" rule!

Actually they say Donovan was lying about the other Zep dudes being on HGM, and that it was really just John Paul Jones, but print the legend, etc.

i can't think of anyone who'd allow themselves to feel antagonised over such a harmless thread as this

Donovan

The only thing I own some tracks from is Nick Lowe, and good tracks they are.

Metal Machine Music has become a straw man for lazy critics. It'll come in first or second in this poll.

It is indisputably Bonzo on "Atlantis" and "Hurdy Gurdy Man."

Guterman is very much part of the Dave marsh school of crits: to him, prog bands and Queen, among other things, was the stuff that Springsteen was supposed to destroy forever. Springsteen was supposed to restore the correct emphasis onto proper American music etc etc.

I don't like the term, but this list practically self-identifies as 'rockist'. Can we please come up with another one for post-1980 music? Preferably starring K-Fed?

Or one that includes both pre- and post-1980 music, and doesn't mince about in such a crass, favouritist manner?

that doors record seems particularly rancid

Can we please come up with another one for post-1980 music?

But there's quite a bit of post-1980 music up there already: Milli Vanilli, CSNY, ABWH, Roger Waters, Stones, Beach Boys, Starship, Bruce Willis, REO Speedwagon, Ringo Starr, Elvis Costello, Bowie, Nick Lowe, Tony Sheridan, U2.

Or did I totally misunderstand your question?

And the Doors record wasn't released until 1983.

Hmm. A lot of those are pre-1980's bands that went on too long, which doesn't count as true post-1980 music IMO. Besides, I'll have you at post-1990. The list is inherently rockist.

Oh no argument on that last point.

It is indisputably Bonzo on "Atlantis" and "Hurdy Gurdy Man."

I read this as "indisputably Bono."

Guterman is very much part of the Dave marsh school of crits: to him, prog bands and Queen, among other things, was the stuff that Springsteen was supposed to destroy forever. Springsteen was supposed to restore the correct emphasis onto proper American music etc etc.

Dead OTM. And yet some of the pomposities of prog and Queen were very much present in Springsteen.

I had to vote for Bon Jovi--seems like some serious playa hating--just picking an album that was massively popular a few years before the book came out. If it were written today there'd be no way it would make the list--it's place probably taken by Avril or Britney.

I'm not a Bon Jovi fan but surely all their other albums are worse than Slippery When Wet.

That's what I don't get about this list. I like Tull OK (and voted for Aqualung over that wonderful Yes album). But even if I didn't, I can't imagine how Aqualung would be anyone's pick for their worst album! It's not even the proggiest. Also, the sentence he quotes seems pretty straightforward to me.

Unforgettable Fire, people! That's U2's best record for crying out loud.

2. Reed, Lou - Metal Machine Music
Capturing a sequence of squawks, screeches, and squeals, Reed uses no instruments, just electronic effects

Well, that's not really true, is it? I heard somewhere that he set up several guitars next to amps to get the foundational sounds, and only then used electronic treatments (namely speeding up, slowing down, and reversing tapes). In any case, I actually quite like MMM. But yea, it's true: Metal Machine Music has become a straw man for lazy critics.

And, yea, Unforgettable Fire? I'm not a big U2 fan but I think that's a good album, possibly their best, and in any case they definitely put out much worse stuff than that. Europe '72 is also fairly good, again you could just look at Shakedown Street or any of the other crap GD albums that are far, far worse than Europe '72. There is a lot of crap on that list but there are a good amount of decent albums on there, too.

I love Live Killers, so Jimmy and Owen can go slather themselves in each other's spooge and FELCH RIGHT OFF!

Also, you have to be a true jackass to disrespect The Shaggs.

Well, he sort of doesn't, in the description, so he just about gets away with it.

Picking live albums is for pussies.

Well, his worst rock and rollers of all time were: Macca, Phil Collins, Duran Duran (?), Billy Joel (the winner).

Whatever your opinion of the Grateful Dead, Europe ‘72 is a bizarre choice for such a list (I read the rationale a few posts down from the OP, and still don’t get it).

the louche quality of Mellow Yellow and Donovan's voice were what confirmed for me that I was gay when I was a kid. I had already suspected it when I was seven and had a crush on my high school sister's Swedish exchange student friend

I think the Dead rationale was nothing more than, "3 albums, it's three times as boring".

Queen II is the best Queen album

It's at least the most Queen album.

I kinda miss this style of music writing. Just some dude writing about the shit he hates. Classic

Chris Ott thread is thataway

I looked up something by Guterman for the Springsteen thread and stumbled on this January 2022 blog entry from his widow in the process. Really a sad read. It actually goes into private details about his struggle with depression - I want to say it's too much, but it's coming from his widow and she's still grieving and struggling with his death, and this is clearly part of that process.

https://www.pangyrus.com/essay-memoir/this-will-be-the-last-time/

I read that book over and over as a kid ca. 1990. I disagreed with theM about some things, but in the text there are enthusiasms for Elvis and early Rod Stewart that challenged my received wisdom when all I had known of them at the time was “lol fat”, and “housewives love him” respectively.

Not to excuse his sins as a writer (whom I don't think I've ever read, other than on this thread), but he earned Rock 'N' Roll Heaven for putting together The Sandinista! Project, that rarest kind of tribute album, which honors and sometimes improves on/fully realizes the original--- coverage archived here when villagevoice.com links started getting too changeable: https://myvil.blogspot.com/2016/06/clash-stash-actually-cuts-crap.html

Lol why didn’t Sandinista make his list? I mean, really?

Well, he did initially claim that The Sandinista! Project was the first in a series of remakes of "the worst albums by the best artists" (and supposedly was working on The Self-Portrait Project, which I still hope one day surfaces), but maybe hearing his contributors' visions of the original album made him realize it wasn't so bad. (Also, maybe he listened to Cut The Crap, and thought, "Oh wait.")

Although that one had its good moments too.

Disappointed in you for the first time evah, Josefa!

I actually liked Cut the Crap, it was different, and I always thought it was underrated compared to the first Big Audio Dynamite album that came out at the same time. “Yes I am… a dictator!” goes thru my head more often than anything from the BAD album.

Yeah, I hardly remember BAD at all. Really liked Julien Temple's Strummer doc, btw.

Almost exactly a year ago (8/3/21) I said this on Twitter:

CUT THE CRAP is as good as any other Clash album, and better than some. Their whole discography is a goddamn mess, and as a strip-it-to-the-bone, fuck-the-pop-charts record, it more than does the job. The guitar sound is ugly as shit, but in a really interesting way, and when you combine that with the Big Black-ish drum machine, the random stabs of ultra-80s synth, and the gang vocals, Strummer was actually really onto something. People who don't like CUT THE CRAP are too attached to the mythology of four dudes in a room makin' rock 'n' roll. Listen to it side by side with the first Big Audio Dynamite album, and wise the fuck up.

I love the first BAD album, btw, and like the second and third quite a bit too. I have no use for anything after that, though.

Is Jones the only or dominant vocalist in BAD? Don't know if I could get into that.

Well done unperson, I agree with all that

That self-titled Byrds album is pretty good. The Gene Clark songs are particularly nice. I suspect "No Other" was not quite the cult record it is now and these authors would have called it crappy and overblown back in '91.

I love This Is Big Audio Dynamite and I love Cut the Crap. Together they really form a blueprint for the collision-y 'Clash meets Public Enemy halfway' bands to follow in ensuing years.

CTC is also a lot of fun if thought of as the 'pop' As the Veneer of Democracy Starts to Fade.

I've written about Cut the Crap before but only in eight paragraphs. I'm gonna develop it into a proper review sometime soon I reckon

Yes to Big Audio Dynamite -- also the second one, with many lyrics co-written with Joe. I had a bootleg of an early Joe Strummer + Latino Rockabilly War album where they covered a few of the songs and dedicated them "to the boys in Big Odio Dynmaite"

I do think Megatop Phoenix is their best, though.

I gotta give that one another spin. I remember the first track being great.

The album template feels strangely prescient of Foxbase Alpha to me bcuz mix of house-informed modern London songs interconnected with found-sound-ish collages.

Will check it out with that in mind. I always thought late Clash responded to hip hop in a super interesting way. Not only Magnificent 7/Radio Clash, but all the drum machiney stuff on the Combat Rock b-sides. Mick with the synth drums at Bonds Casino, etc. Love all of that.

I've just been listening to Goodbye Cruel World, and I have a tough time imagining either a Costello hater or a disenchanted Costello lover calling it among the worst of all time. It's mostly weak songs mostly poorly produced, but just a couple of notches below Punch the Clock.
Cut the Crap is a collage of the worst bits of punk and Frankie Goes to Hollywood, which doesn't preclude a couple of good songs from being included.

Goodbye Cruel World is pretty good. He has worse albums to come, albeit the other side of this book.

Can we poll the worst 'worst album' lists? Q's mid-00s version is particularly witless.

I actually with Guterman's argument that Goodbye Cruel World is a pretty good batch of songs that's simply arranged and produced either poorly or haphazardly. I think "Love Field" manages to work pretty well, but even the live solo performances from 1984 are better. Wish I could link to it, but it's the one that's just Elvis on an electric piano.

*actually agree

I feel like Costello's made worse albums since, but GCW is the one most fans can agree one. Like you still have fans championing Mighty Like a Rose and The Juliet Letters.

argh, *agree on

Like you still have fans championing Mighty Like a Rose and The Juliet Letters

Hell yeah you do

I just listened to Cut the Crap for the first time ever, thanks thread! It's nowhere near as bad as I'd been led to believe. I'll even give it a few more spins soon. It's maybe missing some hookier songwriting - perhaps those will sink in later - and the production is kind of a kitchen sink mess, a la Sandinista, but as unperson said in a really interesting way.

Rhodes had no idea what he was doing but that's why it works and why the hyperpop etc kids love it :)

Like "Dictator" is always pinned up for being the atonal headrush that it is but what about "We are the Clash" with its unrelated solos for guitar, synths and bongos all happening at the same time, or "Are You Red...Y" where the main synth bit arrives deliciously a whole bar too late?

FWIW, Xgau gave Cut the Crap a B+. He also gave Goodbye Cruel World a B+. Just to confirm, he does indeed consider a B+ to be a good grade.

wild to see those Yes, ELP, Jethro Tull, & Moody Blues albums on there - like sure I get why people don't like 'em but this was published in 1991 and all 4 groups had made way worse music since

I think the intro stated that they made the effort to include more high profile releases - like albums that are the most disappointing in terms of expectations or possibly more deserving of worse reputations.

i found the concept and the execution of the 50 worst book annoying and silly and then i read the essay by his widow and was moved and actually quite upset -- a little bcz i was born two years before him so that's too young to go but also just anyway

Greil Marcus published a harsh critique of that book in his column, and I'm sure Guterman saw that. Somewhere on Guterman's old website, he sounds regretful when he mentions that his "best records" book sold much less than the "worst records" book - he already made it clear that he wrote the "best records" book in response to the other one after having second thoughts. It's still probably the book he's best known for, and it's almost certain he wasn't very happy about that.

Anyway, it is very sad what happened. It's very chilling too - it may have been a lot of things happening at once, but I feel the same situation could happen to almost any ordinary person, and it just makes life seem that much more vulnerable. It doesn't have to be a single catastrophic event, life can just progress in a bad way and it may be too much for most people to handle.

Yes---her memory piece is sad, but not depressing for me, though I def know where she's coming from, but every lucid, measured, observant, disclosed word seems essential, if there is such a thing: beautiful, anyway. Plainly poetic.

I haven't looked at it in years, but his Sex Pistols book w/Noel Monk was formative for me.