Golf - classic or dud

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''Peter Allis = satan.''

am sad i am missing the open (already missed wimbledon and the eng sri lanka test series) but the good thing abt missing the open is not hearing Peter allis' 'commentary'. It's just torture really.

Julio Desouza, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Grew up a bit of a golf nut in the very early eighties -- still think Tom Watson's amazing chip shot in the US Open on the seventeenth hole ranks up there as a Great Moment. But this fascination could well be due to location -- my grandparents lived in Pebble Beach, home of some of the best courses in the States or anywhere, and where that particular Open was held that year. My parents live in Carmel now literally within walking distance from the beach where you can see some of the courses, and seeing the courses and the whole setting is for me just part of home, a nostalgia-of-the-present I can't and won't deny. Don't follow it now beyond knowing Woods is predominant and Els his closest rival (I gather), and I think the urge to create courses in absurdly impractical locations is sad on any number of levels. But visiting Scotland made me appreciate why it was created there and so popular -- plenty of lush greenery, plenty of good space for courses. So why not?

Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'll tell you why not! Cos golf courses ruin the natural lush greenery with their horrible landscaping and prevent people who aren't stomping around in silly jumpers from enjoying the countryside!

Emma, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Emma is OTM here. Silly jumpers + vast amounts of environmental degradation = double dud.

RickyT, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Are you referring to Scotland or England here? (I'm not being snarky, I'm honestly curious -- I was under the impression that most of the Scottish courses have been around for many a moon anyway, so they're the landscape by default now.)

Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm not sure that most of the courses in Scotland *are* that old, and there's been a big explosion in golf course construction in England over the last twenty years or so. The area round my parents house in Yorkshire is covered with the damn things, many of them having replaced the few bits of uncultivated land that remained in the area.

RickyT, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf = men in pastel diamond knit tank tops = Classic

davel, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I think golf evolved in scotland as a way of using naturally occuring coastal scrub land.

They then started creating artificial coastal scrubland all over the world.

apparently American golf courses are more "artificial" than Irish & Scottish ones, and there is some pressure on courses over here to become less natural so as to appeal to yankee dollar.

but whatever, it's all golf = all boring middle class men off playing their boring game and cosying up to the boss over a few gin and tonics and then drink driving home.

DV, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Ronans answer is my answer as well. Classic. Having a golf course around sure beats having a soccer pitch, baseball diamond, basketball court etc etc around.

The fact that there is no player interaction only increases the enjoyment of the game for me. Sublime and no jock0's around to spoil your day.

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

As a matter of fact I shall be hitting the links (as we say) Saturday afternoon.

golfing with the boss=dud, which is why almost nobody does it.

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate golf. Last Sunday whilst walking in the park talking to my mother and aunt whilst taking our dogs round a park that boarders on a golf course, a very rude old man starting telling us to be quiet as he wanted to tee off. Git. So, we just talked more loudly (we weren't shouting in the first place). So, anyway golf courses are evil. It is all fun shouting "skin" is you hear a golfer shout "fore".

jel --, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Tiger's petulant bitching at the photographers is by itself sufficient proof of ultimate dud-ness. Two words for all golfers, squatting to line up their putts as a reverential hush falls over the gallery: SWING BATTER!!

briania, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf = hawaiian shirts. DO keep up! Classic obv.

Jeff W, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

leave us golfers alone!!! you can have your extreme in your face lets eat a gallon of high fructose corn syrup while we make funny faces sports. we just want to be left alone!!!

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf itself=neither classic or dud.

My husband streaking across golf courses at sunrise in the early 70's=classic.

Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

He has defiled the game I love. I weep.

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm with Mark Twain ("a good walk spoiled"). Dull, badly-dressed people playing a boring sport that has been dominated by upper class WASPs.

Martin Skidmore, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'll be hitting the links on Sunday. Can't stand to watch the sport on T.V. but enjoy playing. Plus it makes a great drinking game when your playing with your friends.

Chris, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I openly challenge Tiger Woods to a fight -- anywhere, anytime. Golf is the worst.

Kris, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

how can a sport you essentially play by yourself be dominated by anybody (upper middle class WASPs or whoever)?

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf = classic. Tiger = Super-Classic.

Dan Perry, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf-Huge amounts of land cleared out so that people can hit a ball around-D

Miniture Golf- A good time for druken teenagers on a Saturday Night. Watch where your standing at the ramp over water hole, I was hit with a flying ball and got a bruised collar bone. It was funny till the booze wore off...

brg30, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'Peter Allis = Satan' = the strangest and silliest statement I've ever seen; I can hardly think of anyone harder to despise. The man is a god.

Classic Allis - Hay exchange from yesterday;

Allis (lamenting Seve's withdrawal due to being rubbish now): 'I'm afraid there aren't too many things you get better at as you get older'.

Hay: 'Sweeping?'.

Ally C, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know their names but.

today they showed a bunch of CLIPS together [highlights, perhaps] with some krazy 'dance' music over the top.

one commentator: is that the sort of music you like to dance to?

another commentator: no, actually. I'm more of a gavotte-merchant.

I have an inkling that the another one was allis. if so: AllyC is OTM.

RJG, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

ben wright's comments about women's breasts getting in the way of their swing was pretty classic. i like how another name for the mullet is 'lpga'.

keith, Saturday, 20 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Bah Peter Allis is a 19th hole saloon bar reactionary sexist BORE who thinks that the 'little woman' shld never be allowed near a golf course and who in interviews makes dull and predictable comments abt the 'menace' of political correctness (which just means he can't tell his racist jokes anymore...)

Andrew L, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf is classic because Jesper Parnevik plays it.

Ally, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes the land is all "ruined". Of course!

Ronan, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

walter benjamin to thread!!

mark s, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

AllyC is, as he so often is, bang OTM.

and the end of the open yesterday was rather thrilling

chris, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Commentary during a lull in yesterday's final round (which, contrary to most, I found infinitely less entertainng than when the leaders were shedding shots like confetti in Saturday's gale in front of no spectators whatsoever):

Allis: A mention to Mrs [x] who's just about recovered now from the shock of the burglary. I hope they catch the culprits soon.
Hay: Terrible. [Proceeds to say something about appropriate capital punishment to apply when they are caught]
Allis: Ooh no, surely a bit of flogging first. So the punishment lasts longer.
Hay: Oh yes, of course.

Jeff W, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

eleven months pass...
Lehman Vaginal Overload, "Pin High (Parnevik's Panda Remix)"

Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:29 (sixteen years ago) link

Ronan909: the american dudes are like "hi sam, you've got a tan"
z3mk0: "yes well done beverley you were right"
thegardencentre: american commentators are like that for every sport though
thegardencentre: in fact ther news too
Ronan909: yeah zemko, and everytime someone wins and the wife comes on camera he goes
"now you can have that new kitchen love"
thegardencentre: "and a difficult genocide in central africa pete"
z3mk0: haha
*************: that's pretty OTM
Ronan909: he's said it at least three times
thegardencentre: "yes, a tricky situation for the malawians lesley"
*************: "that's right bob"
Ronan909: seve ballesteros was a great commentator
Ronan909: when he did it
Ronan909: is he on again this time
z3mk0: yesterday they werre discussing wind pattertsn and one said "he's talkign out his isobarse"
Ronan909: haha
cozenyo: haha
z3mk0: i was shocked!
thegardencentre: "1500 a day dead dave, the strike rate is rising"
Ronan909: it is so great, the best hangover tv ever
cozenyo: PARTAY tv
Ronan909: "war in iraq, wrap up warm folks"
thegardencentre: COMEDOWN TV
thegardencentre: HANGOVER TV
thegardencentre: PARTAAAAY TV
Ronan909: payne stewart
Ronan909: i miss him
thegardencentre: yea:-(
*************: "too bad about the fire that killed 15, ted"
z3mk0: bring the payne
Ronan909: haha
thegardencentre: too bad i fucked your wife pacey
Ronan909: FORE!
*************: :-)

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:57 (sixteen years ago) link

Ronan909: people should shout fore at raves
Ronan909: and wear golf clothes
*************: hahaha
cozenyo: you don;t?
*************: walk around with golf clubs
Ronan909: i do now
z3mk0: glow clubs
*************: and tee off
thegardencentre: peopel should weaer plus fours at raves
Ronan909: tee up on stage
Ronan909: plus 4s as in
Ronan909: turn up the pitch
thegardencentre: haha, i notice ed is being markedly silent!!!;-)
cozenyo: ian woosnam's so weird
Ronan909: you wave them at the dj
z3mk0: the big raver pants are already in effect!
z3mk0: kinda
*************: you use the clubs to adjust the lighting
Ronan909: people do wear golf visers
Ronan909: already
z3mk0: when i go raving i take a caddy
thegardencentre: there is a photo of me in a gold visor winging its way towards ilx
Ronan909: i have visions of homelands with 10000 people all in cheque trousers and sleeveless pringle sweaters
z3mk0: in a little buggy
thegardencentre: i need a new caddy
thegardencentre: my last one got uppity
z3mk0: and he hands me diff drugs and water and stuff
*************: david thomas from pere ubu/rftt uses his cane as a weapon... it's a little frightening
Ronan909: "i reckon you need to take the white mitsubishi this time zemko"
Ronan909: "the next hour could be tricky, have a pint"
thegardencentre: hah, this is a challenging rotterdam track, caddy hand me another half wrap of whizz, the bpm is realy high on this one
z3mk0: and waits patiently in the revving car while i dance in fornt of him
Ronan909: i fired my caddy after i passed out one time
Ronan909: he gave me a 7 iron when i needed some vodka
Ronan909: "a challenging rotterdam track"
*************: i'm going to open a club called "caddyshack"
thegardencentre: caddyshack is the best film ever!"
thegardencentre: apart from caddyshack 2

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Tiger Woods should drink farm cider.

Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 14:01 (sixteen years ago) link

i'm not sure if i want to know whether ILx chat transcripts are real or not. ah, mystery.

i hit golf balls this week. i have more natural ability at it than most other things that involve hitting balls. fun. and v. satisfying when you actually get it up in the air and far away. though i usually don't get quite as much distance as others. dunno if that's a strength thing or a technique thing (or the stella i had?). not too much exercise if you're just driving, though.

(we never heard of Africa in America, btw. TS: chatty, bubbleheaded non-news v. snide content.)

gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

doesn't Tolkien say that one of Bilbo Baggins's ancestors was the inventor of golf?

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

dud for land and water-use issues alone. have any of you been to Arizona? it's fucking horrifying.

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:09 (sixteen years ago) link

as an AZ resident I can attest to that and then some

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:20 (sixteen years ago) link

ten months pass...
wentworth.

I've started playing again recently too and my handicaps gone down from a 14 to about an 11/10 - played ardeer and carded an 84 (an unecessary 7 [!!!], and three unecessary 6s) but shoulda been a 79. that is playing to handicap I guess (it was 14) but I reckon markers would have given me the 7 and 6s as 5s (taking into account the rest of my card.)

I love golf.

soft hands!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link

talk about golf.

do you like it? do you play? are you watching wentworth? will you play golf with me?

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:27 (fifteen years ago) link

I'd love to play some golf! But I need to work on my 1) putting 2) short game and 3) long game. And by "work on" I mean "gain even minimal competency."

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

I used to, I wasn't very good though. I will play when I'm older again. I like to watch golf obviously, and clearly I am a fan of it. I own 2 golf sweaters.

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:57 (fifteen years ago) link

I need to work on my golf sweaters!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 16:06 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...
having just vanquished my slice i must say super classic. as for it not being "strenuous" i sort of disagree.

ryan (ryan), Sunday, 26 June 2005 03:38 (fourteen years ago) link

so fkn classic

let's play golf

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:54 (fourteen years ago) link

I would gladly play golf with all of you. I'm not very good. I had lessons when I was about 13.

I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:59 (fourteen years ago) link

I've been really really wanting to play recently. I have to make do with Hot Shots on the PS2. An ILX golf thing would be great. Ronan can come.

I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

I would love to play golf with ronan.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

on E.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

One quad, one triple, one double. Bingo!

oscar bravo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 14:27 (three months ago) link

Duval shot 90 and Adam Scott 78 (didn't see that coming)

oscar bravo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 14:32 (three months ago) link

Kinda sad for Rory

big city slam (Spottie), Thursday, 18 July 2019 14:32 (three months ago) link

lol Westwood at -1

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 18 July 2019 15:38 (three months ago) link

spiethery going on right now. birdie-birdie-eagle-birdie

oscar bravo, Friday, 19 July 2019 09:56 (three months ago) link

trying to ignore the fact that jb holmes is leading. couldn't abide either he or matt kuchar winning.

rahm greenside in 2 shots with a lie so good he could putt it, walks off with a 7. no wind good scores.

oscar bravo, Friday, 19 July 2019 10:05 (three months ago) link

Westwood on -7 is it

xyzzzz__, Friday, 19 July 2019 15:38 (three months ago) link

he's going to do this to us again isn't he

dynamicinterface, Friday, 19 July 2019 16:09 (three months ago) link

Rory on +6 fuck knows why he hasn't thrown a sickie

xyzzzz__, Friday, 19 July 2019 16:22 (three months ago) link

some dude with massive glasses is leading now. i will root for him

imago, Friday, 19 July 2019 17:09 (three months ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DUzIFDdWsAIp7xa.jpg

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Friday, 19 July 2019 17:17 (three months ago) link

can ronan start posting again pls

imago, Saturday, 20 July 2019 19:19 (three months ago) link

or deems get into golf idk

imago, Saturday, 20 July 2019 19:19 (three months ago) link

but yeah, lowry is a giant with the hands of a clockmaker

imago, Saturday, 20 July 2019 19:25 (three months ago) link

Weather forecast for today is, uh, interesting.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:16 (three months ago) link

im into golf!

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:17 (three months ago) link

thoughts on yerman?

imago, Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:18 (three months ago) link

rooney

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:59 (three months ago) link

but good

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 09:59 (three months ago) link

twc (the white cabrera)

imago, Sunday, 21 July 2019 10:38 (three months ago) link

Some pretty good scoring already today. Rain and wind hasn't kicked in yet though.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 11:41 (three months ago) link

Have so much envy about how Tommy Fleetwood hits his irons. So pure.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:13 (three months ago) link

Two pretty poor birdie attempts by him on the first two holes though.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:16 (three months ago) link

Rickie out of bounds at the first thus a double bogey followed by three straight birdies.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:22 (three months ago) link

Man Fleetwood's putter is stone cold. This could be over fast.

oscar bravo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 13:26 (three months ago) link

BBC is showing 3 hours solid of netball at the same time as the conclusion of the Open is on. Not too happy about that, to be honest. Not too happy.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 15:58 (three months ago) link

stream. or channel anyone

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:43 (three months ago) link

Radio.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:47 (three months ago) link

JB Holmes +14 for the day. Ouch.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:50 (three months ago) link

cricfree

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 16:59 (three months ago) link

Cool, I can see the last hole at least.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:03 (three months ago) link

Easy peasy in the end.

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:13 (three months ago) link

crowd was pretty quiet on that stream i presume a quirk of the coverage

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:17 (three months ago) link

Anything but quiet on the radio!

Arthur Lowe & Love (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 July 2019 17:21 (three months ago) link

Grats to lowry he owned it. Everyone else choked at least once.

big city slam (Spottie), Monday, 22 July 2019 00:02 (three months ago) link

For the second time this year an imperious last round performance from Jin Young Ko to win a major. She makes it look so easy (even in tough conditions). Felt sorry for Hoo Ji for getting a horrendous plugged lie right under the lip of the bunker at 14 which led to a triple and her falling out of the lead. Hope the weather stays fair for the British Open at Woburn this week.

oscar bravo, Monday, 29 July 2019 11:00 (two months ago) link

That was one of the greatest final days play that I've ever seen! Hinako Shibuno wins on her major debut at 20 years old in her first tournament outside of Japan. Just incredible play and smiling all the way round every round. Salas played a great final round and was unlucky not to make a play off. Also Jin Young Ko only 2 shots off the winning score which would have been her third major victory this year, she is such an incredible player especially on Sundays.

Wish I could emulate Shibuno's swing but given that she's double jointed and her left arms bends the wrong way at address and takeaway I've got no chance.

oscar bravo, Monday, 5 August 2019 10:39 (two months ago) link

iyo how long before they can run a proper mixed tournament with more or less equal chances? thinking short (by men's standards) but difficult holes etc. or is it just as stupid to compare men's and women's golf as it is for other sports

imago, Monday, 5 August 2019 11:37 (two months ago) link

They had an event this year. I think it was either in Jordan or omam, I'm not sure. It was for ladies european tour players, senior European tour players and challenge tour ( level below regularEuropean tour). They did some equations based on average drive length of the respective tours and determined the tee boxes accordingly. A challenge tour guy won iirc but a woman was second and the top 20 had plenty of each grouping. The Australian LPGA/euro event at the start of the season has 2 separate events equal prize money same course where the groupings are alternate, 3 women tee off then 3 men etc. I think Celine Bouiter won the women's section.

Not sure how feasible the Jordan event is going forward cos there will always be arguments about how equal the hole length is etc. Would like to see a high profile mixed doubles event on the PGA or European tour though for sure.

oscar bravo, Monday, 5 August 2019 13:19 (two months ago) link

Would like to know how much of the prize money for the Open comes from the TV rights, because now that the R&A runs the British Open for women it should sell the rights as a package with the men's and split the prize money equally, but I would guess they would argue that the prize fund comes from additional sources too.

oscar bravo, Monday, 5 August 2019 13:23 (two months ago) link

wife and i were sitting at a bar eating lunch and caught the last two holes by chance. we were both chuckling at shibuno's (very charming) goofiness, like literally joking about how she was acting like she had never been in a big tournament before i googled her and found out....she had never been in a big tournament. then she turned out to be a stone cold assassin on that winning 20-footer. what an awesome story.

call all destroyer, Monday, 5 August 2019 15:46 (two months ago) link

two months pass...

hideki has p much eliminated the pause at the top of his backswing...my world is all askew.

jordan's swing is looking way better with the driver compared to the last 2 years.

brooks on his 'rivalry' with rory - "there is no rivalry. rory hasn't won a major since i've been on tour". Ouch.

oscar bravo, Friday, 18 October 2019 06:31 (four days ago) link


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