Golf - classic or dud

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''Peter Allis = satan.''

am sad i am missing the open (already missed wimbledon and the eng sri lanka test series) but the good thing abt missing the open is not hearing Peter allis' 'commentary'. It's just torture really.

Julio Desouza, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Grew up a bit of a golf nut in the very early eighties -- still think Tom Watson's amazing chip shot in the US Open on the seventeenth hole ranks up there as a Great Moment. But this fascination could well be due to location -- my grandparents lived in Pebble Beach, home of some of the best courses in the States or anywhere, and where that particular Open was held that year. My parents live in Carmel now literally within walking distance from the beach where you can see some of the courses, and seeing the courses and the whole setting is for me just part of home, a nostalgia-of-the-present I can't and won't deny. Don't follow it now beyond knowing Woods is predominant and Els his closest rival (I gather), and I think the urge to create courses in absurdly impractical locations is sad on any number of levels. But visiting Scotland made me appreciate why it was created there and so popular -- plenty of lush greenery, plenty of good space for courses. So why not?

Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'll tell you why not! Cos golf courses ruin the natural lush greenery with their horrible landscaping and prevent people who aren't stomping around in silly jumpers from enjoying the countryside!

Emma, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Emma is OTM here. Silly jumpers + vast amounts of environmental degradation = double dud.

RickyT, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Are you referring to Scotland or England here? (I'm not being snarky, I'm honestly curious -- I was under the impression that most of the Scottish courses have been around for many a moon anyway, so they're the landscape by default now.)

Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm not sure that most of the courses in Scotland *are* that old, and there's been a big explosion in golf course construction in England over the last twenty years or so. The area round my parents house in Yorkshire is covered with the damn things, many of them having replaced the few bits of uncultivated land that remained in the area.

RickyT, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf = men in pastel diamond knit tank tops = Classic

davel, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I think golf evolved in scotland as a way of using naturally occuring coastal scrub land.

They then started creating artificial coastal scrubland all over the world.

apparently American golf courses are more "artificial" than Irish & Scottish ones, and there is some pressure on courses over here to become less natural so as to appeal to yankee dollar.

but whatever, it's all golf = all boring middle class men off playing their boring game and cosying up to the boss over a few gin and tonics and then drink driving home.

DV, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Ronans answer is my answer as well. Classic. Having a golf course around sure beats having a soccer pitch, baseball diamond, basketball court etc etc around.

The fact that there is no player interaction only increases the enjoyment of the game for me. Sublime and no jock0's around to spoil your day.

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

As a matter of fact I shall be hitting the links (as we say) Saturday afternoon.

golfing with the boss=dud, which is why almost nobody does it.

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate golf. Last Sunday whilst walking in the park talking to my mother and aunt whilst taking our dogs round a park that boarders on a golf course, a very rude old man starting telling us to be quiet as he wanted to tee off. Git. So, we just talked more loudly (we weren't shouting in the first place). So, anyway golf courses are evil. It is all fun shouting "skin" is you hear a golfer shout "fore".

jel --, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Tiger's petulant bitching at the photographers is by itself sufficient proof of ultimate dud-ness. Two words for all golfers, squatting to line up their putts as a reverential hush falls over the gallery: SWING BATTER!!

briania, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf = hawaiian shirts. DO keep up! Classic obv.

Jeff W, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

leave us golfers alone!!! you can have your extreme in your face lets eat a gallon of high fructose corn syrup while we make funny faces sports. we just want to be left alone!!!

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf itself=neither classic or dud.

My husband streaking across golf courses at sunrise in the early 70's=classic.

Christine "Green Leafy Dragon" Indigo, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

He has defiled the game I love. I weep.

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm with Mark Twain ("a good walk spoiled"). Dull, badly-dressed people playing a boring sport that has been dominated by upper class WASPs.

Martin Skidmore, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'll be hitting the links on Sunday. Can't stand to watch the sport on T.V. but enjoy playing. Plus it makes a great drinking game when your playing with your friends.

Chris, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I openly challenge Tiger Woods to a fight -- anywhere, anytime. Golf is the worst.

Kris, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

how can a sport you essentially play by yourself be dominated by anybody (upper middle class WASPs or whoever)?

lawrence kansas, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf = classic. Tiger = Super-Classic.

Dan Perry, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Golf-Huge amounts of land cleared out so that people can hit a ball around-D

Miniture Golf- A good time for druken teenagers on a Saturday Night. Watch where your standing at the ramp over water hole, I was hit with a flying ball and got a bruised collar bone. It was funny till the booze wore off...

brg30, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

'Peter Allis = Satan' = the strangest and silliest statement I've ever seen; I can hardly think of anyone harder to despise. The man is a god.

Classic Allis - Hay exchange from yesterday;

Allis (lamenting Seve's withdrawal due to being rubbish now): 'I'm afraid there aren't too many things you get better at as you get older'.

Hay: 'Sweeping?'.

Ally C, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know their names but.

today they showed a bunch of CLIPS together [highlights, perhaps] with some krazy 'dance' music over the top.

one commentator: is that the sort of music you like to dance to?

another commentator: no, actually. I'm more of a gavotte-merchant.

I have an inkling that the another one was allis. if so: AllyC is OTM.

RJG, Friday, 19 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

ben wright's comments about women's breasts getting in the way of their swing was pretty classic. i like how another name for the mullet is 'lpga'.

keith, Saturday, 20 July 2002 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Bah Peter Allis is a 19th hole saloon bar reactionary sexist BORE who thinks that the 'little woman' shld never be allowed near a golf course and who in interviews makes dull and predictable comments abt the 'menace' of political correctness (which just means he can't tell his racist jokes anymore...)

Andrew L, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

Golf is classic because Jesper Parnevik plays it.

Ally, Sunday, 21 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

Yes the land is all "ruined". Of course!

Ronan, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

walter benjamin to thread!!

mark s, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

AllyC is, as he so often is, bang OTM.

and the end of the open yesterday was rather thrilling

chris, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

Commentary during a lull in yesterday's final round (which, contrary to most, I found infinitely less entertainng than when the leaders were shedding shots like confetti in Saturday's gale in front of no spectators whatsoever):

Allis: A mention to Mrs [x] who's just about recovered now from the shock of the burglary. I hope they catch the culprits soon.
Hay: Terrible. [Proceeds to say something about appropriate capital punishment to apply when they are caught]
Allis: Ooh no, surely a bit of flogging first. So the punishment lasts longer.
Hay: Oh yes, of course.

Jeff W, Monday, 22 July 2002 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...
Lehman Vaginal Overload, "Pin High (Parnevik's Panda Remix)"

Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:29 (sixteen years ago) link

Ronan909: the american dudes are like "hi sam, you've got a tan"
z3mk0: "yes well done beverley you were right"
thegardencentre: american commentators are like that for every sport though
thegardencentre: in fact ther news too
Ronan909: yeah zemko, and everytime someone wins and the wife comes on camera he goes
"now you can have that new kitchen love"
thegardencentre: "and a difficult genocide in central africa pete"
z3mk0: haha
*************: that's pretty OTM
Ronan909: he's said it at least three times
thegardencentre: "yes, a tricky situation for the malawians lesley"
*************: "that's right bob"
Ronan909: seve ballesteros was a great commentator
Ronan909: when he did it
Ronan909: is he on again this time
z3mk0: yesterday they werre discussing wind pattertsn and one said "he's talkign out his isobarse"
Ronan909: haha
cozenyo: haha
z3mk0: i was shocked!
thegardencentre: "1500 a day dead dave, the strike rate is rising"
Ronan909: it is so great, the best hangover tv ever
cozenyo: PARTAY tv
Ronan909: "war in iraq, wrap up warm folks"
thegardencentre: COMEDOWN TV
thegardencentre: HANGOVER TV
thegardencentre: PARTAAAAY TV
Ronan909: payne stewart
Ronan909: i miss him
thegardencentre: yea:-(
*************: "too bad about the fire that killed 15, ted"
z3mk0: bring the payne
Ronan909: haha
thegardencentre: too bad i fucked your wife pacey
Ronan909: FORE!
*************: :-)

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:57 (sixteen years ago) link

Ronan909: people should shout fore at raves
Ronan909: and wear golf clothes
*************: hahaha
cozenyo: you don;t?
*************: walk around with golf clubs
Ronan909: i do now
z3mk0: glow clubs
*************: and tee off
thegardencentre: peopel should weaer plus fours at raves
Ronan909: tee up on stage
Ronan909: plus 4s as in
Ronan909: turn up the pitch
thegardencentre: haha, i notice ed is being markedly silent!!!;-)
cozenyo: ian woosnam's so weird
Ronan909: you wave them at the dj
z3mk0: the big raver pants are already in effect!
z3mk0: kinda
*************: you use the clubs to adjust the lighting
Ronan909: people do wear golf visers
Ronan909: already
z3mk0: when i go raving i take a caddy
thegardencentre: there is a photo of me in a gold visor winging its way towards ilx
Ronan909: i have visions of homelands with 10000 people all in cheque trousers and sleeveless pringle sweaters
z3mk0: in a little buggy
thegardencentre: i need a new caddy
thegardencentre: my last one got uppity
z3mk0: and he hands me diff drugs and water and stuff
*************: david thomas from pere ubu/rftt uses his cane as a weapon... it's a little frightening
Ronan909: "i reckon you need to take the white mitsubishi this time zemko"
Ronan909: "the next hour could be tricky, have a pint"
thegardencentre: hah, this is a challenging rotterdam track, caddy hand me another half wrap of whizz, the bpm is realy high on this one
z3mk0: and waits patiently in the revving car while i dance in fornt of him
Ronan909: i fired my caddy after i passed out one time
Ronan909: he gave me a 7 iron when i needed some vodka
Ronan909: "a challenging rotterdam track"
*************: i'm going to open a club called "caddyshack"
thegardencentre: caddyshack is the best film ever!"
thegardencentre: apart from caddyshack 2

gareth (gareth), Saturday, 19 July 2003 12:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Tiger Woods should drink farm cider.

Cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 July 2003 14:01 (sixteen years ago) link

i'm not sure if i want to know whether ILx chat transcripts are real or not. ah, mystery.

i hit golf balls this week. i have more natural ability at it than most other things that involve hitting balls. fun. and v. satisfying when you actually get it up in the air and far away. though i usually don't get quite as much distance as others. dunno if that's a strength thing or a technique thing (or the stella i had?). not too much exercise if you're just driving, though.

(we never heard of Africa in America, btw. TS: chatty, bubbleheaded non-news v. snide content.)

gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

doesn't Tolkien say that one of Bilbo Baggins's ancestors was the inventor of golf?

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

dud for land and water-use issues alone. have any of you been to Arizona? it's fucking horrifying.

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:09 (sixteen years ago) link

as an AZ resident I can attest to that and then some

Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 19 July 2003 16:20 (sixteen years ago) link

ten months pass...
wentworth.

I've started playing again recently too and my handicaps gone down from a 14 to about an 11/10 - played ardeer and carded an 84 (an unecessary 7 [!!!], and three unecessary 6s) but shoulda been a 79. that is playing to handicap I guess (it was 14) but I reckon markers would have given me the 7 and 6s as 5s (taking into account the rest of my card.)

I love golf.

soft hands!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:22 (fifteen years ago) link

talk about golf.

do you like it? do you play? are you watching wentworth? will you play golf with me?

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:27 (fifteen years ago) link

I'd love to play some golf! But I need to work on my 1) putting 2) short game and 3) long game. And by "work on" I mean "gain even minimal competency."

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:56 (fifteen years ago) link

I used to, I wasn't very good though. I will play when I'm older again. I like to watch golf obviously, and clearly I am a fan of it. I own 2 golf sweaters.

Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 27 May 2004 15:57 (fifteen years ago) link

I need to work on my golf sweaters!

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 27 May 2004 16:06 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...
having just vanquished my slice i must say super classic. as for it not being "strenuous" i sort of disagree.

ryan (ryan), Sunday, 26 June 2005 03:38 (fourteen years ago) link

so fkn classic

let's play golf

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:54 (fourteen years ago) link

I would gladly play golf with all of you. I'm not very good. I had lessons when I was about 13.

I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:59 (fourteen years ago) link

I've been really really wanting to play recently. I have to make do with Hot Shots on the PS2. An ILX golf thing would be great. Ronan can come.

I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

I would love to play golf with ronan.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

on E.

c/n (Cozen), Monday, 27 June 2005 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link

i just mean generally. he's looking pretty good this weekend for sure! he just seemed so primed to make a run at quite a few majors a few years back. hard to sustain dominance

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Friday, 17 May 2019 23:03 (two months ago) link

Yeah Spieth better watch it or he'll end up like Rory.

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 18 May 2019 07:29 (two months ago) link

i always forget how irritating i find DJ's beard

dynamicinterface, Saturday, 18 May 2019 22:19 (two months ago) link

Koepka choking!!??

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Sunday, 19 May 2019 21:48 (two months ago) link

4 bogeys on a row!

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Sunday, 19 May 2019 21:53 (two months ago) link

Lol, still leading by two with not many holes left

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:05 (two months ago) link

DJ screwed the pooch

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:07 (two months ago) link

DJ coulda won this if he just parted out 16-18.

Even as it stands with Brooks errant drive a double bogey is in play for the tie

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:35 (two months ago) link

Parred*

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:35 (two months ago) link

Really limped into this win

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:40 (two months ago) link

Catching up with the first round of the US Women's Open. Course seems p quirky especially the Greens, some ridiculously severe false fronts.

Also completely mind blown by the fact that the player in 2nd place after round one Esther Henseleit last official handicap before she turned pro was +7.1 !!!!! Imagine having to add 7 shots to your score after every round as an amateur!

oscar bravo, Friday, 31 May 2019 08:36 (one month ago) link

Also lol at the rumoured USGAing of pebble Beach for the upcoming mens US Open. Apparently they have narrowed the fairways so much that on one of the holes a fairway bunker is now located 35 yards into the rough!

oscar bravo, Friday, 31 May 2019 08:46 (one month ago) link

US Open at Pebble Beach is underway. Should be some good scoring in this one.

big city slam (Spottie), Thursday, 13 June 2019 16:38 (one month ago) link

course is playing p soft today, greens holding, think it'll dry out by the weekend and be really tough.
mcginley with the great stat that rory has never won a tournament with a winning score of worse than -12. which suggests he can't win on really tough tracks. rahm and rickie going well greens look v smooth for pebble

oscar bravo, Thursday, 13 June 2019 17:13 (one month ago) link

Rickie leading. I wouldn't begrudge either he or tangent if he got a major but his hair really bothers me. I know it some charity mullet thing to do with his foundation but yeesh.

oscar bravo, Thursday, 13 June 2019 20:29 (one month ago) link

tiger straight up snap hooked that 8 iron. hit a cart path and ended up w double bogey.

big city slam (Spottie), Thursday, 13 June 2019 22:27 (one month ago) link

This could get spicy

big city slam (Spottie), Monday, 17 June 2019 00:03 (one month ago) link

Woodland creature in the rough

brownie, Monday, 17 June 2019 00:08 (one month ago) link

The woodland choke may be on

big city slam (Spottie), Monday, 17 June 2019 00:08 (one month ago) link

Nice shot from the rough. Koepka slippin too

big city slam (Spottie), Monday, 17 June 2019 00:14 (one month ago) link

can't believe Rose is still in the mix

brownie, Monday, 17 June 2019 00:18 (one month ago) link

Weird week for rose but all he has to do is string together a couple holes and he could take this

big city slam (Spottie), Monday, 17 June 2019 00:19 (one month ago) link

Or not

big city slam (Spottie), Monday, 17 June 2019 00:36 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

Lol Rory. Iron off the opening tee out of bounds. 3 off the tee into the left rough, 4th shot pulled into into left rough, unplayable penalty drop. Now playing his sixth shot.

oscar bravo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 09:20 (two days ago) link

Good pitch. 7 feet left for an opening triple bogey.

oscar bravo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 09:21 (two days ago) link

Missed. Quad City.

oscar bravo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 09:24 (two days ago) link

I like Rory but it will never not be hilarious when the media decides to concentrate all its energies on one athlete or team only for them to fall flat on their faces at the first hurdle - sometimes literally.

Orpheus Knutt (Tom D.), Thursday, 18 July 2019 09:31 (two days ago) link

Lol what a wasteman

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 18 July 2019 10:18 (two days ago) link

Duval matched Rory's eight and followed it with a... THIRTEEN? Though I don't trust my score app as it told me Garcia had eagled for a share of the lead a while ago and that wasn't true.

Michael Jones, Thursday, 18 July 2019 11:27 (two days ago) link

Rory with the 4 putt at the 16th including 3 from less than 3 feet.
Course seems p volatile, birdies available but doubles and triples aplenty also.

Nice to see Lowry leading and Kiradech with a bogey free 68.
Koepka koepkaing his way round like it's a Monday evening knockabout with friends.
Not convinced Jordan can keep it out of the long stuff from the tee enough for the week but his putting and pitching game is back to his stellar best, going well at the moment.

oscar bravo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 14:00 (two days ago) link

Rory carves it at 18 and finishes with a triple. 79 . +8. Jesus.

oscar bravo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 14:26 (two days ago) link

One quad, one triple, one double. Bingo!

oscar bravo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 14:27 (two days ago) link

Duval shot 90 and Adam Scott 78 (didn't see that coming)

oscar bravo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 14:32 (two days ago) link

Kinda sad for Rory

big city slam (Spottie), Thursday, 18 July 2019 14:32 (two days ago) link

lol Westwood at -1

xyzzzz__, Thursday, 18 July 2019 15:38 (two days ago) link

spiethery going on right now. birdie-birdie-eagle-birdie

oscar bravo, Friday, 19 July 2019 09:56 (yesterday) link

trying to ignore the fact that jb holmes is leading. couldn't abide either he or matt kuchar winning.

rahm greenside in 2 shots with a lie so good he could putt it, walks off with a 7. no wind good scores.

oscar bravo, Friday, 19 July 2019 10:05 (yesterday) link

Westwood on -7 is it

xyzzzz__, Friday, 19 July 2019 15:38 (yesterday) link

he's going to do this to us again isn't he

dynamicinterface, Friday, 19 July 2019 16:09 (yesterday) link

Rory on +6 fuck knows why he hasn't thrown a sickie

xyzzzz__, Friday, 19 July 2019 16:22 (yesterday) link

some dude with massive glasses is leading now. i will root for him

imago, Friday, 19 July 2019 17:09 (yesterday) link


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