Lance Armstrong is a God

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Robin WIlliams joins Armstrong's entourage

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:14 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

what other man could command such a trinity of greatness as prince albert of monaco, sheryl crow and robin williams?

let the rehabilitation of that great comic genius commence NOW

Jay G (jaybob79), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:20 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Lance Armstrong is a Vengeful, Evil God Who Will Smite You With Smuggery

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink


lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:29 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

all jan got is an alleged case of flu...but i say he's a big, soft jessy. were his legs peddling up the alps at 120 rpm? i think not.

Jay G (jaybob79), Thursday, 22 July 2004 14:38 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i find it hard to believe he's dubya supportin'(esp. with that gf!)...any proof?
also the whole threatening lemond allegation...any proof beyond greg's own statements (which hinault doubted, and if anyone knows the real greg lemond it's the badger, not to mention that he's someone who isn't necessarily partial to lance, or anyone in particular)?

duke anquetil, Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:09 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

what is this lemond indieness?? more tours won = better wtf!!

g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:11 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

well both had extenuating circumstances to contend with to say the least

duke shotgun, Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:12 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Lance Armstrong is a Vengeful, Evil God Who Will Smite You With Smuggery

And Sheryl Crow. Hopefully his reign of terror will end soon.

Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:14 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

yeah, i question the dubya bit too. i thought lance was an atheist?

Yanc3y (ystrickler), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:29 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I only found out the Sheryl Crow thing yesterday. It has diminished his greatness somewhat in my eyes.

ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:36 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

she was interviewed on OLN a couple of weeks ago. i have to say she was already flabbergastingly literate with the names of riders and race dynamics etc. at least compared to what i expected. so it's caused the opposite for me alisa, it has brought her up in my eyes.

duke outdoor, Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:41 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Armstrong has stated his opposition to the war in iraq; he certainly is not a dubya "supporter". The two are linked because they're both from texas, and their paths have crossed in austin on numerous occasions, especially when dubya was governor, and owner of the tex rangers before that.


jimmy crackhorn, Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:43 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Greg LeMond is from Minnesota, ergo Greg LeMond automatically is better.

(see also Jesse Ventura vs Arnold Schwarzenegger)

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:43 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I never said what it had done for her in my eyes, just him. I mean, Sheryl Crow. Eewwww. (I am shallow and pathetic and judgmental).


ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:45 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

lance is from outside dallas and my guess is probably settled in austin for the hills AND the comparitive liberalism of the place, as many who want to stay in the state do.
it's odd these little assumptions which are made, as another ILXor put it today, in the "popular imagination." he is from texas and has a steely countenance, automatically supports Bush etc. not to go after jay but what is that?
lance is more genuinely texan to me than bush in so many ways (i come from there BTW)

duke austin, Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:51 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

(Had I not sworn off of making spurious, offensive jokes, I woul totally be running with the entire "one testicle = TRUE TEXAN" concept right now.)

VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:53 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Cheering for Lance Armstrong is boring.

jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:56 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

yeah but so is unsupportable, and purely oppositional, inanity. nothing wrong with it i suppose, but it is too somewhat boring

duke support, Thursday, 22 July 2004 20:58 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

perhaps it is now for some people. not sure if you followed the tour de france last year, but there's no possible way you could say that cheering for armstrong in the 2003 tour was boring.


jimmy crackhorn, Thursday, 22 July 2004 21:02 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I suspect his inner, marginalized-sport, poor-kid-with-a-chip-on-his-shoulder, with a lot of int'l living experience makes him somewhat more tepid on W. He is tight with Weisel tho.

Sheryl Crow prior to her own ride up l'Alpe in June.

Hunter (Hunter), Thursday, 22 July 2004 21:34 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I don´t get the hate myself. My dad and my sister are the cycling nuts in the family, but my dad even more so, and he´s pleased as punch that Lance is well on the way to number six now. (Loves LeMond as well, might have mentioned before the only time I´ve EVER seen my dad unreasonably angry was when I accidentally screwed up taping his first victory in the mid-eighties, so he didn´t get to see the footage of what at the time was truly an awe-inspiring success.)

The Crow-Williams crap is unfortunate, but sounds like a hell of a lot of people are making unwarranted assumptions about him to justify the hate. Frankly, his dominance doesn´t piss me off anywhere near as much as, say, Sampras´s in tennis.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 July 2004 22:55 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

It's impressive. It's hella impressive. It's like the aussies at cricket, you don't want to be impressed, but still..

Matt (Matt), Friday, 23 July 2004 01:39 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

the way he won the stage yesterday was a perfect representation of beautiful thuggery. Like the man on itv said "armstrong's slo-mo seems to run at a different speed to everyone elses"

Porkpie (porkpie), Friday, 23 July 2004 07:29 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I thought LeMond dissed Lance first?

That's the thing with Lance -- he never fires the first shot in a war of words, but once that first shot is fired, he's relentless.

Although this "no more gifts" thing from yesterday may be an exception -- I still don't know wtf he's talking about.

Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 23 July 2004 07:36 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I didn't hear the no more gifts thing. Is it a reference to Basso stage win?

Lance is pretty dogged if he feels that someone's against him. I guess it's what makes him the competitor that he is, but also something I find really off-putting about him.

NickB (NickB), Friday, 23 July 2004 07:43 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Is it a reference to Basso stage win?
That's the only thing that would make sense. He's won everything else. But that was days ago, why would he bring it up now?

It's particularly off-putting that he talked about "no gifts" right after openly admitting that he gave his teammate the go-ahead to try and win the stage.

Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:42 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

he's getting a hella lot of stick off the crowds though is it something to do with that?

Porkpie (porkpie), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:43 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I read that Lance tried to give Landis the stage, but Landis got caught by Jan and the other chap - is this what the gift thing is all about?

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:46 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Landis lead the stage out but couldn't quite bring it home and Jan overtook him, looking all ends up the winner. Then Lance put in a spurt that had to be seen to be believed, it was unbeleivable

Porkpie (porkpie), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:47 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

isnt he on drugs

anthony, Friday, 23 July 2004 08:53 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"I had assumed, because he and Bush were Texans and I’d seen pictures of them laughing and joking in the Oval Office, that Armstrong was a Republican. But he says his politics are “middle to Left”. He is “against mixing up State and Church, not keen on guns, pro women’s right to choose”. And very anti war in Iraq."

Sadly, I made the same assumptions as Alistair Campbell! a mistake i'll try never to repeat...

But, whoever said above that i had negative images of Armstrong cos he came from Texas... NO NO NO. i LOVE Armstrong and the fact that he's disassociated himself from Bush makes me love him all the more...(tho not as much as yesterday's unbelievable sprint finish!).

Also, I've got relatives in Austin and have been there several times and thorougly enjoyed it, so i'm not anti-Texans in general either.

this thread was meant to be Armstrong love, people. Sorry for any confusion...

Jay 79 (jaybob79), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:53 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Yeah, the only "gift" yesterday was Lance trying to let Landis take the stage win. But Lance wouldn't insult his teammate like that.

If he's not making ref. to the Basso stage win, then he must be referring to his decision to chase down Klodi at the line yesterday, that is, not give him the "gift" of breaking away for the stage win without putting up a fight at the end.

The thing is, that was no gift, that was Klodi's fuckup pure and simple. The last few km were ALL Ullrich -- he chased down Landis not once but twice, and then duped the others into thinking he was going to play cat-and-mouse for the last km, which caused everyone to ease up and gave his teammate the oppurtunity to attack. And it was a great attack -- nobody reacted in the least -- but he ran out of gas 10 seconds later, appeared to ease up with about 500 m to go, couldn't finish strong, and checked the wrong blind spot twice looking for someone trying to outsprint him to the line. If Klodi had broken away and won, there's be no talk of gifts, just of great riding by the T-Mobile boys.


Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:54 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i meant to post this,,9910-1018310,00.html

Jay 79 (jaybob79), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:54 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

i think the 'no more gifts' thing was sposed to related to him gifting Marco Patani a stage win back in 2000..

Jay 79 (jaybob79), Friday, 23 July 2004 08:56 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

That was in the back of my mind as well ... but again, why bring that up now? (admittedly, the Basso stage win did remind me of Armstrong-Pantani on Mt. Ventoux in 2000, with the way that Lance didn't appear to go hard at the finish).

That would be particularly tasteless in light of Pantani's death earlier in the year, even though there was no love lost between the two of them after that incident in 2000.

Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 23 July 2004 09:05 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

"no more gifts"

supposedly eddy merckx told lance, after he let pantani take a TdF stage many years ago (which pantani was reportedly offended by BTW), "gifts are for birthdays"
and it has been a syndrome with lance for a long time it's true, he is all about the G.C., and in some ways only about it. merckx and hinault are disappointed by this, the respective cannibal and badger there before him. he is not in the footsteps of lemond and indurain so much as in theirs, style-wise, but eddy and bernard don't seem to understand at all this kind of aw-shucks side, that is in fact more like greg's and miguel's outlooks.
BTW greg lemond though what an asshole, i'm bummed out by him i must say. just like for lance, he used to be a hero to me. but lance is going for that even earlier style full-bore now, and it is fucking awesome.

duke liege, Friday, 23 July 2004 09:07 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Barry, what you said about the tactics of Ullrich - that was my reading of the situation too. A well-worked move by T-Mobile, you could see them having a chat about it on the run-in. Must be quite an advantage being able to work things out in a language that presumably none of the rest of the group could understand.

NickB (NickB), Friday, 23 July 2004 09:10 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Now what the hell is going on?

NickB (NickB), Friday, 23 July 2004 11:04 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Sorry, that link is a SPOILER if you didn't want to know what's happening.

NickB (NickB), Friday, 23 July 2004 11:04 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Cyclingnews live race commentaries are the greatest things ever.
(Nick, I had the same reaction, I nearly choked on the food I was eating)

Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 23 July 2004 11:10 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

OK, Lance is out of the break now. The planets re-align to their normal positions, the oceans stop flowing into the rivers, etc.

Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 23 July 2004 11:11 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Obviously he was just toying with the minds of the mere mortals in the peleton.

NickB (NickB), Friday, 23 July 2004 11:14 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

oops, 'o-ton' obv.

NickB (NickB), Friday, 23 July 2004 11:15 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Anyone else listening to the OLN webcast now??? Liggett and Sherwen doing 'off-mic' impersonations of Zabel and Hushovd?!?! Someone needs to sample that shit!

NickB (NickB), Friday, 23 July 2004 11:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Holy shit, Lance personally chasing down Simeoni and forcing him back to the peloton is major gangsta. That's knocking food off of someone's fork. I'm actually surprised. Angry and vengeful God indeed. Especially because Lance has called Simeoni a liar while Simeoni appears to be trying to "come clean" on doping. Lance appears to be defending not his OWN relationship with Ferrari, but Ferrari's reputation itself--and it's black as coal.

If Armstrong thought the drunk Germans on l'Alpe were bad, he'll have fun if he ever does the Giro in Simeoni's neighborhood.

Hunter (Hunter), Friday, 23 July 2004 13:41 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Definitely. The treatment Lance got on the Alp was nothing compared to the grief Pavel Tonkov got from fans when he rode in pink after Pantani got booted from the Giro.

David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Friday, 23 July 2004 14:33 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

I don´t get the hate myself.
I can understand the love - esp from Americans - but to be honest how can you be blind to his obv drug intake? Sure, it's *legal* but before his cancer treatment (which is epo-like in the rise of red blood cells and thus is a *positive influence*) he was a nobody! Never won a THING and now suddenly he's winning SIX tours?!? It's unfair in my opinion, not fair competition.

jesus nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 23 July 2004 15:01 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

You're trolling, right? He competed as a pro-triathlete and won--in his teens. He was a world RR champion in Oslo at 22 on pure power. He won a stage of the TdF on his first try in 93. He appeared to be a likely classics guy for sure, putting out shitloads of power but weighing 175+lbs. He still won the domestic US stage races of course. He was kind of like the Thor Hushovd of that time--everybody knew who he was from his junior results, wondered how good he'd end up being. Not only did Armstrong not arrive out of obscurity, he was long scrutinized, or even heralded, from early on.

While very, very few would have said Armstrong would become a TdF GC dominator, the guy is clearly a bizzare outlier on the physiological curve. Very very few thought he'd ever even race again if he lived.

NOW. I'm no Lance groupie. All this does not mean that he never doped, or that he's not doping. He was rumored to be an hgh user pre-cancer, from what I've heard.

Hunter (Hunter), Friday, 23 July 2004 15:20 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

Oh come on, that's not substantiated at all. I've never heard this much of a stink being made for riders that get CAUGHT doping, much less riders who are just suspected of doping by detractors. Get over it.

stephen morris (stephen morris), Friday, 23 July 2004 15:23 (fourteen years ago) Permalink

what a lot of people don't realize about PEDs is that they affect different people in widely different ways.

in the case of endurance sports, EPO can only help some people slightly, and others immensely.

this is why when LA talks about how the era when he won the tours was "an even playing field", it's 100% bullshit.

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, 18 January 2013 17:37 (six years ago) Permalink

If they legalize everything, I expect to see surgically-created human-animal hybrids before 2020.

Aimless, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:37 (six years ago) Permalink

as the link says, it's not necessarily that life-threatening if done *well*

the main issue with it would be that of access, and consequent unfairness when the bigger nations won the arms-race to develop the most effective chemicals, although extremely talented individuals from poorer nations will always find sponsorship

i'd foresee a breakaway 'clean' movement, and YOU, THE PEOPLE would choose which to follow, if either

that said, extend this to other sports and i begin to feel a trifle repulsed, so perhaps these are just my dismissive thoughts about athletics being projected

imago, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:37 (six years ago) Permalink

aimless, that would be amazing. see the human cheetah! only 7 farthings a view! for a fortnight only!

imago, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:38 (six years ago) Permalink

this is why when LA talks about how the era when he won the tours was "an even playing field", it's 100% bullshit.

bingo, but on the spectrum of "reprehensible things Lance Armstrong said during the Oprah interview" I don't think it places that high, he really came off badly in so many ways

frogbs, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:45 (six years ago) Permalink

Imago - aside from everything else where would the money come from? What brands would want to be associated with an openly 'dirty' cycling competition?

peligro, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:52 (six years ago) Permalink

well, that's where a 'clean' breakaway would form, with far more stringent testing

dunno, this narrative needs some work

imago, Friday, 18 January 2013 17:56 (six years ago) Permalink

But surely there would be more money in the 'clean' version so you would just get people spending big money to come up with ways to beat the tests/bully people into silence and win that one as there would be greater rewards.

peligro, Friday, 18 January 2013 18:02 (six years ago) Permalink

And then it'll be won a bunch of times by some guy called Bance Harmstong do u see

peligro, Friday, 18 January 2013 18:05 (six years ago) Permalink

maybe we shouldn't look up to sportspeople so much as paragons of human achievement or virtue, but as entertainers

imago, Friday, 18 January 2013 18:07 (six years ago) Permalink

idk this kinda kills me to write as I would like to believe in corinthian values, level playing-fields and the like

team sports don't bring out the cynic in me nearly so much - cycling and athletics are rigged games trying their damnedest to put on an outward show of cleanness and it's a shame because they can be extremely good fun to watch - they can carry with them the catharsis of sublime victory - but beneath it all is the drugs narrative and it puts me off

imago, Friday, 18 January 2013 18:10 (six years ago) Permalink

The PED testing done today, while not perfect, is incredibly more advanced than it was even say like 4 years ago... particularly in the chemical analysis regarding steroids, blood/oxygen-boosters, blood transfusions.

Hormone testing is much more sophisticated, but a lot of the masking agents are now easier to detect (FSchleck for example).

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, 18 January 2013 18:13 (six years ago) Permalink

A smirk smeared across his face, Armstrong wistfully recalls how he called Besty "crazy" and "a bitch."

Then, for one horrible moment, you can and watch Lance sit back "read the room."

Time for a little comedy.

"I did call her crazy….I did. I did. I think she'd be okay with me saying this, but…I'm gonna take the liberty to say it. [When we spoke on the phone recently,] I said 'Listen, I called you ‘crazy,' I called you ‘a bitch.' I called you all these things…but I never called you ‘fat.'"

Then, Armstrong pauses for laughter.

He pauses a little longer for laughter.

He waits and waits for the laughter to come, while the camera cuts to a brilliant shot of Oprah blinking at him, her eyelids heavy under the weight of gravitas.

"'Cause…" he begins. Maybe Oprah didn't get the joke? Maybe if he explains the joke it will become funny and he and Oprah will laugh and laugh and she'll scrap the whole interview and take him to OS-TRAIL-YAAAAA instead?

"…She thought I said ‘You are a fat, crazy bitch,'" he flails, reaching out for a lifesaver. Unfortunately Oprah's soul has already left her body; she floats above the room and watches him die.

"…And I said," he repeats "‘Betsy…I never said you were fat.'"

Okay, Oprah's done. She moves on.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 18 January 2013 19:14 (six years ago) Permalink


set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 18 January 2013 19:16 (six years ago) Permalink

making a fat joke to oprah is just...alien behavior.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 18 January 2013 19:17 (six years ago) Permalink

these are the the things that make me feel okay for disliking him all these years. douche

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 18 January 2013 19:21 (six years ago) Permalink

He called her fat and ugly for the record.

Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, 18 January 2013 19:24 (six years ago) Permalink

espn is really burying this story

christmas candy bar (al leong), Saturday, 19 January 2013 00:21 (six years ago) Permalink

at least on their website. 8th story down on the sidebar, below alvin gentry getting canned and tiger missing the cut.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Saturday, 19 January 2013 00:21 (six years ago) Permalink

lance armstrong on oprah: sort of like watching a play about the crucifixion?

Z S, Saturday, 19 January 2013 04:44 (six years ago) Permalink

but actor jesus reaaaally sucks

Z S, Saturday, 19 January 2013 04:45 (six years ago) Permalink

True Crime surely?

pandemic, Monday, 21 January 2013 16:27 (six years ago) Permalink

Sack Fat Pat

I hope everyone is aware of the mascot the World Road Championships organising comittee in tuscany chose this year. Very Appropriate

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 29 January 2013 15:07 (six years ago) Permalink

that's perfect

well if it isn't old 11 cameras simon (gbx), Tuesday, 29 January 2013 15:22 (six years ago) Permalink

yeah, that's amazing.

EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 29 January 2013 15:23 (six years ago) Permalink

Confused Turtle (Zora), Saturday, 2 February 2013 14:13 (six years ago) Permalink

^^ that is not what it looks like. Watch out for the bit where his eyes flash and his wheels catch fire...

Confused Turtle (Zora), Saturday, 2 February 2013 14:14 (six years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

He's back!

Jesus H.

Ned Raggett, Sunday, 21 April 2013 16:18 (five years ago) Permalink

markers, Sunday, 21 April 2013 16:57 (five years ago) Permalink

Bill Brock, Betsy Andreu and Greg & Kathy LeMond talk about doping

you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 12:17 (five years ago) Permalink

(It starts at about 40:00)

you may not like it now but you will (Zora), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 12:18 (five years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

So.....hey what's up?

Howard Stern welcomed comedienne April Macie back to his satellite radio show Monday morning, and Macie spilled the goods about a variety of topics, including the night that champion cyclist Lance Armstrong asked her to perform an extremely dirty sexual act on him in a hotel bathroom.

Macie said that she and a friend met Armstrong at a club in Los Angeles and then went back to his Peninsula hotel room to party with some friends. When Macie stepped into the bathroom, though, she bore witness to a very different kind of party than the one she had expected.

"I went to use the bathroom, and I went in and Lance was bent over a bathtub and she was just face deep in his a**hole...I was terrified. And then he came out and said: ‘Does your friend want in on a round too?’ and I was like: 'Of taint tickling? I’m gonna take a pass'..I think it’s hilarious that he would ask without even knowing my first name—to eat his a**hole. Like: ‘Do you want in on a round too? Of **hole eating?...I got pretty for the evening. I didn’t know he was going to ask me to eat his asshole later on.”

Macie said that the incident happened "five or six years ago," long before Armstrong was hit with the brunt of the massive drug scandal in which he was accused of using steroids to win seven consecutive Tour de France titles from 1999-2005. In January 2013, Armstrong finally admitted to the doping allegations after years of denying them.

unfinest DN (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 23 May 2013 12:07 (five years ago) Permalink

finally, evidence that armstrong may be human

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 23 May 2013 17:35 (five years ago) Permalink


set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 23 May 2013 17:35 (five years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

ASPEN, Colo. -- Authorities say disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong hit two parked cars after a night of partying in Aspen but agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame to avoid national attention.

mookieproof, Tuesday, 3 February 2015 19:03 (four years ago) Permalink

agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame

Aimless, Tuesday, 3 February 2015 19:10 (four years ago) Permalink

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