thread to get over a breakup

maybe she feels guity?

I'm sure she does, I'm just having a bad week.
It's nice that she told me, I guess, but there's no way the three of us running into each other wouldn't be awkward. I'm a little butthurt over this long-distance relationship blossoming while we were still seeing each other. But the fact is that we needed to break up, so I should just STFU and get over it, I suppose, but it's rarely that easy, is it?

no, it isn't. Your story reminded me of something that happened to a friend of mine ... he was married for 13 years, and then his wife left him and moved to a different state with a "friend." He later found out from other people (not her) that she was having an affair with this "friend" and not long after the divorce went through, she married this "friend." He ran into her at a show while he was on tour, and the "friend" was there. She introduced the "friend" as her roommate, but she was aware that he was aware of the relationship.

It's not easy, especially when you know she was falling for somebody else while still seeing you. I've been on the shit end of an identical situation and, well, you're handling it much better than I did.

I think that she was always in love with this guy, is the thing. HURTS.

i dunno, TM, "my new 'friend' will be in town so don't feel awkward if you see us" is like a sideways brag disguised as a public service announcement.

I've been in both positions in that situation, and it's just really shitty.

-- I think the fact that she referred to him euphemistically implies that she isn't bragging.

I think she wants me and the new guy to be friends, or at least friendly.
WAAAAY too soon for anything like that to happen, though. (we dated for two years). Just going to avoid any of the places that they may turn up, which shouldn't be too hard. I've got a date this weekend, too, so that eases the pain a bit.

Thanks for sharing, everyone. It actually helps.

I think as long as:
1. you've accepted the relationship is over
2. you don't have plans to get revenge
3. not wanting to be unhappy/hurt is a major goal for you

you're on the right path.

hi hoos' ex!

^ this is the dude we named our fish after btw

hahaha

hahaha

hoos' ex i hope you did not undertake the task of renaming aforesaid goldfish lightly...'tis a noble heart you cracked

um, if your ex knew about ilxor, that would be post breakup stalking 101

my ex found out about ilxor while we were together (by checking her computer history), didn't tell me, and used the fact I'd posted WDYLLs of us together without consulting her as ammunition for my character assassination

was she successful

uh, there is much more powerful ammunition here though.

because you're still a character, imo

:D

on the day before it all kicked off, I'd been pestering her to send me a couple of pics taken on my final visit, and she did so, as she later admitted, as a 'test'. "sure enough, when i checked an hour later, there it was on WDYLL"

:-/

lol you guys :D

uh, my ex harrassed me through ilx and then the guy he cheated on me with decided that he was an ilxor now and was going to be hanging out on the gay thread until me and sur ambushed him and I crashed his portfolio website.

yeah ... if she only used the fact you posted pics of her as ammo, then she was probably fairly nice, all considering ...

That was it as far as ILX-related stuff went down (although indirectly not, for my alleged overuse of computers was integral), but man some of the other stuff was purely barbaric imo anyway yeah history lol haha good times

need i remind you fellas about the "face is everything" guide to the internet

lol T, let the sleuthing commence (o-3ss being he who cannot be named right)

yes she did say WDYLL

btw my fiancee posted on ilx a couple dozen times, before i ever posted here and before i ever met her and she knows several ilxors (britishes mostly) and a couple of other friends of hers are good friends with ilxors. we had a good lol over that one.

i wonder who IKR's ex was...

but man some of the other stuff was purely barbaric imo anyway

did she start IRL "Ban [your name]" threads?

She wrote a 5-page denouncement of me and my evils which reflected partially on mistakes I'd made but mostly on the fact she was going through personal hell at that time. She said she's considered posting it to ILX in order to show me up but had refrained at the last minute. She wanted me to take her back but I decided against it. It wasn't a good time for any of us. I'd rather not talk about it any more, save to say that we're both much better now :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tbVPpeUUW8

No I come across really really well in our breakup story mainly due to him setting such a high standard in being a crepey shitbag

Heh ... one of my college ex-es accused me of being an alcoholic, and got me put on house "probation" ... I recalled his overdue library books ... those were simpler times.

Also couldn't resist sticking the boot in at any point for the next few weeks, guilt-tripping even when I'd evinced more guilt than can be humanly tripped. As recently as May when she had a new man, she came out with lines like "In a way I'm glad I had that with you, because now I know what I don't need". (Yeah, a long-distance relationship in the middle of a fecking PhD)

lol ok that's enough

T, am about to enter yr ex's ilx name with a 'Most Recent' posts search :D

LOL sarahel

yeah, but lol, he hung around with all these benign "btw i live in paris now" posts (he was doing a short internship but it was practically Tender is the night by his implication)

T did you get my message? It's strange sending off a number that can't receive.

― o-3ss, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 10:55 (11 months ago) Bookmark

;_; penultimate post ever

it was a joy to go to work at the library at that point to see how much the fines had increased each day. At a certain point, if the fines reached a certain amount, he couldn't check out any more books without returning the overdue ones. I think the guy I broke up with him for (who the ex- was kinda persecuting) hid some of the overdue books, because he had left them lying around a common area.

RIP

it's strange sending off a number that can't receive

^^^^ poetry, real talk, a many-leaved assertion, with many readings

sarahelen of troy

except our side "won" ... he got kicked out of school for poor academic performance.

lol@persecuting btw. anyway don't need to be on this thread as this is all long ago and I'm not the one who has made a crepey replica of our relationship with a guy who looks like me.

basically it was supposed to be an amicable break up ... which lasted for like 8 hours ...

The Oakliad

T what big claws you have! :D

Uh, that was in Providence, RI

srsly if u only knew

you're Wolverine?

subsequent journey to Oakland in order to found [controversial moderator edit] being your subsequent Aeneid

T I am still delving, the bottom will be gotten to

something like that ... the moral of the story is that break ups often lead to shitty cruel behavior on all sides.

also, big wooden horses