Roger Clemens - Classic Or Dud?

Someone get him his poultice.

Actual BBTN quotes:

"You know what? He continues to get better with age."

"Keep in mind that the New York Yankees have to score runs for Roger in order for him to be effective for them."

(Uhh WOW plus you guys were just talking for several minutes about the miraculous sustained effectiveness of someone old enough to play in an old-timer game. The New York Yankees scored one run.)

THE STORY IS NOT THE ANGELS WINNING.

Not much run support -- or ESPN postgame analysis, it seems -- in a loss to TB.

so we hate them for talking too much?

and then not talking enough?

just trying to get it straight.

ha ha stence save that biting rhetorical analysis for debate club kthx

There is a stark difference in Clemens coverage/analysis when he does truly well (or merely satisfactory) and when he doesn't do so well. It's funny.

When he does well: Meticulous analysis marveling at a pitcher who continues to get better with age. How does he do it? Let's all discuss it for a few minutes. Look at Clemens hit his spots. Look at Clemens adjust to losing some of his velocity. Look at Clemens gut it out after getting into a jam which might've had to do with the phase of the moon or some kind of temporary talent surge on the part of a couple hitters. Look at Clemens bend down to pick up a tapper thrown miraculously in on the handle of the bat.

When he doesn't do well: Here's how the Yankees scored their runs. Ohandhereshowtheotherteamscoredclemensthrewfiverunsgivingupsevenhitsblahblahkthnxbye.

Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two, several sources have told the Daily News.

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2008/04/27/2008-04-27_sources_roger_clemens_had_10year_fling_w.html

:/ :/ :/

http://i32.tinypic.com/25gtb9i.jpg

She was 15 when he noticed her at a Fort Myers, Fla., bar while out with his Red Sox teammates, according to the Daily News.

waht are you saying there was some sort of gap between noticing an consummation

there's just something about that bit that makes it come alive for me, like i can just imagine the sweaty fattey sitting in a booth with greenwell or something, drinking a beer, staring at this high school chick

what year was it? i can only hope it was like rich gedman or something. or better yet, an 80 year old dewey evans with that pervy burt reynolds mustache sending drinks over to some high school sophomore.

omg yes that sox team perving out on hs chix in a karaoke bar a+++

"B.P. is canceled due to the jv field hockey game going on across the street."

http://www.redsoxconnection.com/dwightevans.jpg

omg, i just remembered my best friend's mother had a HUGE crush on dewey evans when we were kids! fuck that's hilarious.

clemens was 28 in '91, so the team would have included:

Tony Pena
Carlos Quintana
Jody Reed
Wade Boggs
Luis Rivera
Mike Greenwell
Ellis Burks
Tom Brunansky
Jack Clark
Mo Vaughn
Steve Lyons
Phil Plantier
Mike Brumley
John Marzano
Mike Marshall
Tim Naehring
Kevin Romine
Scott Cooper
Bob Zupcic
Wayne Housie
Eric Wedge
Mike Gardiner
Tom Bolton
Matt Young
Kevin Morton
Danny Darwin
Jeff Reardon
Tony Fossas
Dennis Lamp
Jeff Gray
Greg Harris
Joe Hesketh
Dana Kiecker
Dan Petry
Daryl Irvine
Jeff Plympton
John Dopson
Steve Lyons
Josias Manzanillo

two thirds of that roster i can totally see as statutory rapists. with jody reed successfully passing himself off as a high school junior.

http://images.google.com/url?q=http://blogs.kansascity.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/07/23/mccready.jpg

i'm sure boggs was right there calling dibs on her sister.

LYONS

i met him once at logan during the playoffs about 8 or 9 years ago, he wasn't nearly as douchey as i thought he'd be.

psycho or roger?

i'm sure boggs was right there calling dibs on her sister

LOLLLS

BLAME IT ON THE CHICKEN

brunansky seems like the guy who would buy all the rookies a night with a hooker and then kind of creepily hang around to watch the proceedings

mr. que - psycho.

omar - dennis lamp strikes me bob crane A/V weirdo.

Mo Vaughn is the only one I recognize who I couldn't see macking on jailbait.

(also: I've been playing rotisserie too damn long, I've had at least 2/3 of those guys on a team)

http://bestmessageboardever.com/uploads/monthly_04_2008/post-15-1209408932.jpg

:|

Clemens is falling from grace with an Amy Winehouse-like aplomb.

Don't insult Ms. Winehouse by comparing her to a no-good needle-humping kid-sexing bat-throwing meathead like Roger.

dennis lamp strikes me bob crane A/V weirdo.

OTM x1,000,000,000,000,000,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!

maybe dennis lamp in close concert w/ danny darwin? those were some powerful moustaches.

where to put this one?

http://communities.canada.com/saskatoonstarphoenix/photos/ilovelamp/images/153729/624x480.aspx

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2008/04/28/2008-04-28_mindy_mccready_weeps_as_she_confirms_aff.html

this is so insane, clemens karma bitin him bigtime

i was just thinking - that early article makes sure to point out that they did not have sex when they first met. but doesn't rule out them messing around - which is still illegal with a minor. the charge would be molestation, i think.
imagine clemens going to jail for child molestation!?

whatever they totally did - clemens cover up #1m

brunansky seems like the guy who would buy all the rookies a night with a hooker and then kind of creepily hang around to watch the proceedings

rl lolz

the charge would be molestation, i think.

that's if there's fucking, you illiterate yank! ;)

no fucking but maybe some dry humping or hand up the sweater = molestation!

Source: Clemens flew women on jet
Posted: Wednesday April 30, 2008 05:26AM ET

Roger Clemens hung out with several attractive women in his baseball career, including beauties in California and Boston and a former Manhattan bartender named Angela Moyer. Clemens flew the women around the country on his private jet and bought expensive jewelry for at least one of them, a source told the Daily News Tuesday. Moyer acknowledged she knew Clemens, but has declined to discuss the relationship.

ror @ "staturoy"
Ruh roh, I'm Scooby Doo!!!

more Clemens debauchery, John Daly's ex-wife:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-paulette-dean-daly-roger-clemens-080501-ht,0,7332052.story

http://www.newsday.com/media/photo/2008-05/38376960.jpg

how the fuck did he think a "defamation of character" lawsuit would turn out, if he had been flying women around and groping 15-year-olds????

all of this couldn't happen to a more deserving guy imo!

i know! uncountable are the times ive wished while happening upon some bullshit yankee haigiography or whatnot that this douche would be exposed as the ovb terrible awful nasty person he his

that its happening at his own hand is just that much sweeter

i hope this kicks off a full-fledged Clemens-Daly beef.

The News reported that the two met in a Florida karaoke bar

Roger Clemens, what's on your karaoke songlist?

Laughing at loud at this quote from McCready:

"I have no doubt that Roger has excellent legal representation and he will emerge from this a strong person and a revered athlete," she said. "I wish him and his family the best."

So awesome and backhanded. If you can't say anything nice, compliment their legal representation.

<3 John Daly