dick wishes

did not understand what this thread was about and thought it was like "dick move" but srsly wow u guys

the actual mechanics of reproduction are either taught to you by your parents or you learn it as a side-effect of taking life sciences in junior high.

I didn't really get it in jr. high, either, but then again I didn't learn a whole lot of anything in jr. high. I was preoccupied, at least in part by trying to find my dad's Playboy stash. (Happy ending to that story: I eventually did. The girls were all very shiny.)

The actual mechanics, or at least their full implications, I learned from David Attenborough. No I'm not joking. I knew about penises and vaginas long before then, and how girls get pregnant, all that stuff. But it wasn't until Attenborough told me that ferns -- FUCKING FERNS -- make sperm, and that those sperm require liquid to travel to their destination, did it all really click. "Holy shit, this is bigger than I ever imagined."

So do moss!

So do just about everything.

women don't

Quiet, you.

Ferns and moss are the only plants with water-transmitted sperm, which is why there aren't that many species of them. They rely on external fluids, too, which is why you only find them in wet environments. Most other plants just shed sperm everywhere (lol hay fever is all the sperm in your nose) or by getting it all over some or another animal. Fungi & bacteria & prokaryotes don't have sperm either! </biology pedant>

http://www.grainsessential.ca/english/images/grains/wheat-kernel.jpg
^^^ a similar diagram on the side of a packet of Shredded Wheat put me off eating said cereal for a while when I was a kid

xp Oh of course! No you're totally right. I just meant the sperm part when I said that most everything does.

Then again, ferns and mosses are some of the most primitive plants, and some of the first... THINGS... to evolve sexual reproduction at all.

They're so fucking rad!

They got the simplicity of it all exactly right.

I mean, time-tested and everything. Don't take my word for it.

how y'all dicks doin??

still granting wishes!

They're so fucking rad!

― god bless this -ation (Abbott), Monday, August 17, 2009 3:53 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark

good, good.

You know one thing my dick totally loves? Huey Lewis and the News.

Kenan are you actually Patrick Bateman?

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

* i wish i did not have a dick 2
* i wish i had foreskin 1
* i wish my dick were more narrow 1
* i wish my dick were shorter 1
* i do not have a dick, but i wish i did 1

hmmmmmmm

Mirror mirror on the wall, will I ever again see a live human dick at all?

A dick is a wish your heart makes.

Wait, that's not right...