dick wishes

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Well and when I was ten we had a very special girls-only thing where they explained vaginal discharge, menstruation, and how tampons won't make you lose your virginity.

cosmic abbigong (Abbott), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:33 (ten years ago) link

Oh and there was this big emphasis on not calling a pad a "rag" bcz that was trashy & disrespectful (I thought she meant of pads, but later I think she meant women's reproductive systems in general).

cosmic abbigong (Abbott), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:34 (ten years ago) link

Yeah, because that's the big issue at hand.

or have I become completely absurd? (kenan), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:35 (ten years ago) link

It worked!

cosmic abbigong (Abbott), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:39 (ten years ago) link

No wait I call those little garbage things for tampons in the women's bathroom stalls "rag bags" so maybe it didn't work.

cosmic abbigong (Abbott), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:39 (ten years ago) link

Why is it so squicky for parents to tell their kids about sex in terms that are age-appropriate but not completely baffling? Why so nervous? Why such a heavy conversation?

I made fun of Britishers and their library hard-ons, but boy howdy, we have enough sex issues to go around in this country, too. And go around they do.

or have I become completely absurd? (kenan), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:44 (ten years ago) link

mmm, OK. In the UK is is/was like this (please bear in mind I am lol old)

age 8/9: Biology and reproduction of plants, then animals, followed by human anatomy, leading up to several classes specifically about human reproduction, including the aforementioned sex ed film series. Mostly covered in science classes, but some is covered in special lessons and what are called now PSE classes (Personal & Social Eduction, the short period straight after afternoon registration).

age 10/11: Review of above material. Then small (half a dozen pupils) single sex classes (boys only classes and girls only classes) with a health visitor, who explains some of the more lurid details (erections, periods, wet dreams, body odour, body hair, etc.). Also this small class is where the girls get their "tampon talk".

age 12/13: Review of all that material again, plus more stuff about emotions, relationships, families, etc.. Some schools do the "tampon talk" again just for the girls.

age 14/15/16: reproduction is covered again in GCSE science classes.

the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:46 (ten years ago) link

did not understand what this thread was about and thought it was like "dick move" but srsly wow u guys

❊❁❄❆❇❃✴❈plaxico❈✴❃❇❆❄❁❊ (I know, right?), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:48 (ten years ago) link

the actual mechanics of reproduction are either taught to you by your parents or you learn it as a side-effect of taking life sciences in junior high.

I didn't really get it in jr. high, either, but then again I didn't learn a whole lot of anything in jr. high. I was preoccupied, at least in part by trying to find my dad's Playboy stash. (Happy ending to that story: I eventually did. The girls were all very shiny.)

The actual mechanics, or at least their full implications, I learned from David Attenborough. No I'm not joking. I knew about penises and vaginas long before then, and how girls get pregnant, all that stuff. But it wasn't until Attenborough told me that ferns -- FUCKING FERNS -- make sperm, and that those sperm require liquid to travel to their destination, did it all really click. "Holy shit, this is bigger than I ever imagined."

or have I become completely absurd? (kenan), Monday, 17 August 2009 20:20 (ten years ago) link

So do moss!

cosmic abbigong (Abbott), Monday, 17 August 2009 20:23 (ten years ago) link

So do just about everything.

or have I become completely absurd? (kenan), Monday, 17 August 2009 20:25 (ten years ago) link

women don't

nate dogg is a feeling (HI DERE), Monday, 17 August 2009 20:25 (ten years ago) link

Quiet, you.

or have I become completely absurd? (kenan), Monday, 17 August 2009 20:26 (ten years ago) link

Ferns and moss are the only plants with water-transmitted sperm, which is why there aren't that many species of them. They rely on external fluids, too, which is why you only find them in wet environments. Most other plants just shed sperm everywhere (lol hay fever is all the sperm in your nose) or by getting it all over some or another animal. Fungi & bacteria & prokaryotes don't have sperm either! </biology pedant>

god bless this -ation (Abbott), Monday, 17 August 2009 20:44 (ten years ago) link

http://www.grainsessential.ca/english/images/grains/wheat-kernel.jpg
^^^ a similar diagram on the side of a packet of Shredded Wheat put me off eating said cereal for a while when I was a kid

the visible spectrum is rainbows (snoball), Monday, 17 August 2009 20:47 (ten years ago) link

xp Oh of course! No you're totally right. I just meant the sperm part when I said that most everything does.

Then again, ferns and mosses are some of the most primitive plants, and some of the first... THINGS... to evolve sexual reproduction at all.

or have I become completely absurd? (kenan), Monday, 17 August 2009 20:50 (ten years ago) link

They're so fucking rad!

god bless this -ation (Abbott), Monday, 17 August 2009 20:53 (ten years ago) link

They got the simplicity of it all exactly right.

or have I become completely absurd? (kenan), Monday, 17 August 2009 21:33 (ten years ago) link

I mean, time-tested and everything. Don't take my word for it.

or have I become completely absurd? (kenan), Monday, 17 August 2009 22:03 (ten years ago) link

how y'all dicks doin??

elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Friday, 28 August 2009 21:21 (ten years ago) link

still granting wishes!

They're so fucking rad!

― god bless this -ation (Abbott), Monday, August 17, 2009 3:53 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark

crabRCISE (gbx), Friday, 28 August 2009 21:26 (ten years ago) link

good, good.

elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Friday, 28 August 2009 21:30 (ten years ago) link

You know one thing my dick totally loves? Huey Lewis and the News.

or have I become completely absurd? (kenan), Saturday, 29 August 2009 00:58 (ten years ago) link

Kenan are you actually Patrick Bateman?

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Saturday, 29 August 2009 01:05 (ten years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Sunday, 30 August 2009 23:01 (ten years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Monday, 31 August 2009 23:01 (ten years ago) link

* i wish i did not have a dick 2
* i wish i had foreskin 1
* i wish my dick were more narrow 1
* i wish my dick were shorter 1
* i do not have a dick, but i wish i did 1

hmmmmmmm

mince lice (electricsound), Monday, 31 August 2009 23:27 (ten years ago) link

ten years pass...

Mirror mirror on the wall, will I ever again see a live human dick at all?

Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Tuesday, 18 February 2020 19:37 (three months ago) link

A dick is a wish your heart makes.

Wait, that's not right...

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 18 February 2020 19:43 (three months ago) link


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