OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Burchill started on the NME when she was 17.

Doogie Howser was performing surgery at 18, does this mean I should start a thread about how some high school kid dissected his worm wrong?

Please accept my use fictional character as an appropriate metaphor for real life situations. Haha.

Hang on a tick. This guy is the fucking Music Editor at his university. Not every student is this bloody clueless and illiterate and I'm sure there are gobloads of kids just wishing they could have a go at it (because they wanna write for the NME when they grow up).

There used to be an indie night at the uni I attended where each week they'd play no less than eight Limp Bizkit songs in an evening, and these guys ran the uni radio station. When I asked if I could play one night I got told my style wasn't right. Oh well.

^^^ poor grammar and typos admittedly non-deliberate.

He's not even a real music editor, he's not on the team!

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk/team.php

That's last year's team; they've obviously not changed that page yet.

Ah, ok - sorry.

lol u r all intrenet crepes for talkin bout the guy. how long til Dom finds his facebook?

In the next issue: "Pol Pot - His Amazing Journey From Brutal Cambodian Tyrant To Winner Of Britain's Got Talent."

1 person calls us crepes and that's the end of the thread?

This is exactly how nazi Germa... ok maybe it isn't.

that article reads like a GCSE project graded f with only q magazine used for research.

This current teenager yoof bebo generation is even more moronic than 1990s Shed 7 / OCS generation, that dizzy [probably NME reading] blonde on big brother from Bristol, that Exeter Uni Q reading chump, that yesterday's OMM teen issue, NME brit-indie-guitar-rubbish bands everyweek and teenager emo mall kids with fall out boy t-shirts etc etc. Is this the worst generation of kids ever?

Yours in despair, Viktor Martian

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is.

Tuomas, I'd like to think that, on the other side of Scandanavia, Gier Hongro was simultaneously writing exactly the opposite article.

It's always the worst generation of kids ever when you're not part of it.

Ah yes, the OMM TEEN ISSUE...

There's a picture of a new rave kid in that issue, and he is the twattiest person I have ever seen.

I probably wrote something worse than this when I was in college.

So we should be gentle because of:
- age? ("but the Arctic Monkeys were only 19 when they..." "Oh, OK then, 10/10")
- experience? ("but it's only their first album ever!" "Oh, OK then, 10/10")

?

-- StanM, Monday, June 18, 2007 9:43 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

wow

Nothing wrong with a little constructive criticism obv. but this kid isn't the Arctic Fucking Monkeys. He's writing something for a university paper and he probably only expected it to be read by his fellow students anyway. It's like you guys are tearing apart some local kids' punk band for playing sub-"Greenday" music at their friends' party or something.

Martian you've been warned before about exaggerating the shitness of Shed Seven (at least 3 good songs!).

Just a bit of fun, it's not like we're seriously trying to get this guy to kill himself, you know. (I'm not, at least) (xpost)

i'm hoping to see this sort of thread on ILE

is this the worst fucking picture of a donkey or what? it's by my 5yr old nephew LOL
look at the rubbish typography on this PIZZA FLYER!!!!!!11 rofllz
babies - fucking idiots or what? they can hardly walk, look at their stupid faces!!!!!

plz

never mind the typography there is no excuse for the mind-boggling typos you get on pizza flyers where they have spelled the word correctly in the first two instances but then failed to do so the third time.

esp. when that word is CHEESE

The single most awesome post I ever came acorss on any internet board went like this: "Cows are such WANKERS they don't even RUN if you THROW STICKS at them."

xxxxpost please!! please!!!

maybve one too many x's. that was a reply to alan, not stanm

OWLS ARE ASSHOLES

WITH THEIR BIG FUCKING EYES, WHY NOT HAVE SMALLER EYES? WANKERS.

condemned to repeat myself

things you notice about owls

nick are you joining in the mockery of your own thread?

But anyway, this guy isn't some kind of remedial five-year-old; this isn't a GCSE-essay; he doesn't need enormous slack-cutting here. He is music editor at a student paper for one of the country's top 30 (possibly) universities, and as as such probably has three A Levels at grades AAB or very close to. He is a smart, educated, priviliged music fan who will possibly one day be a captain of industry, or Chris Martin, or something. He's not a cow or an owl.

x-post - Lex I am merely mocking owls and cows.

FUCK BEES

Simon CowOwl more like

Why are you even reading a college paper in the hopes of finding good music writing?

surely a lot of good writers come up thru student press

I'm not reading it in the hope of finding good music writing! I read it while I eat my sandwich, to see what's going on amongst the literate student body, and stumble upon the music pages by accident.

x-post - Hmmm. Well.

Was it a good sandwich at least?

OK, is this the worst piece of wafer thin ham ever?

Granted it came from one of the top 30 supermarkets in the country but it said 'quality' on the label.

You can use that rather reductive approach to stop anyone criticising anythign ever, SteveM.

surely a lot of good writers come up thru student press

This might be more of a 'despite' than 'because of' situation in a lot of cases

(I speak as someone who put, really, a stupid amount of time into the student paper while I was there, and mainly enjoyed it and learned stuff, but I'd question how much it made me a better writer)

babies - fucking idiots or what? they can hardly walk, look at their stupid faces!!!!!

ha.

this guy, though - as nick said, he's 20-21, he's obviously got some semblance of a brain in his head if he's a. at exeter uni and b. music ed of the college paper (obvious snarks aside). more important, i suspect, is *why he thinks like this* not "why is his writing style a bit naff?", surely?

xpost i spent years at my college paper (inc a year as music editor) but i doubt it made me a better writer. a better editor, yes, and (in the long run) a better sub, but a better writer? doubtful.

Anyone want to make fun of bad high school writing?!?!?!? I have a number of shitty articles sitting in my car!

"H1nder lead vocalist Austin Winker's unique v0ice makes 'Lips of an Angel' completely captivating. The d3pth and emotion of the vocals dr4w you into the lyr1cs of the song. The lyrics and 1nstrumentation make this s0ng a great standout track."

HAHAHAHAAHA SHE CAN'T WRITE AND SHE HAS A BAD OPINION HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA AND SHE'S 17, FER CHRISTSAKES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SHOULDN'T SHE BE VERSED IN KRAUTROCK AND SHIT? HAHAHAHAHAA

i once made the mistake of reading my own (v poor) college dissertation. SO AWFUL. i wanted to punch the author so hard. i'm pretty sure there are no copies remaining outside of the one copy left with the faculty, who SHOULD have burned it just out of courtesy.

But anyway, this guy isn't some kind of remedial five-year-old; this isn't a GCSE-essay; he doesn't need enormous slack-cutting here. He is music editor at a student paper for one of the country's top 30 (possibly) universities, and as as such probably has three A Levels at grades AAB or very close to. He is a smart, educated, priviliged music fan who will possibly one day be a captain of industry, or Chris Martin, or something. He's not a cow or an owl.

He's a decently smart kid with a passing interest in music who likes to write music articles for the school paper; it's not his career, it's not his thesis, it's just Something He Wrote.

like I said he's not looking to win awards with his writings, student music reviews are generally just sort of rambles anyway, even ones by Exeter students, as much as we at ILM want our Smart Kids to write Smart Music Reviews.

and you know, what the guy is saying is not all that objectionable. there's stuff in there if you pick it out of the noise. "the hardest music to write is commercial music".

is age really an excuse here? Have we all forgotten that university age isn't really especially young? I'm sure that most people here weren't a lot different then from how they are now, no? Is being just some random student really an excuse? Surely being music editor at a 15,000 student university should mean something more than being able to express opinions that the average 15-year-old who has MTV2 would be able to express. Although my wild optimism with regards to student publications is notorious. Poor Louis is presumably around the same age as this guy, yet he gets consistently lambasted for having much more sophisticated (if more uniquely nuts) opinions.

Kinda off-topic question, because I don't want to start picking at every questionable comment in the article: is Domino entirely independent?

the 'excuse' is that everyone here probably wrote stuff as bad as that at his age.

this guy wot wrote this rag rant retty much speaks for at least 2/3 of the record buying public in the UK right now (Rihanna at #1 not withstanding) so you can be aghast all you like but don't be surprised at all. it just seems ridiculous to single one person out in this way - if you are to do this pick a paid pro who has more cause to know better...perhaps in a situation where they can defend their position or learn from what you say (so not on ILM then i guess).

we could make a lot of the same points if the thread wasn't focussed on one person's deluded rant but the nature/future of student press generally and that might be better (but probably useless without actual input from student writers).

Have we all forgotten that university age isn't really especially young?

yes clearly I have forgotten this

but seriously his age isn't the point here.