vh1's r0ck 0f l0ve

He totally just kept Lacey for the ratings, you could totally tell.

Hey, there is an article in today's NYT about this show. It's pretty funny. I'd provide the link, but I think it's password-protected or whatever. Sorry. Use bugmenot.com or whatever if it still exists. Or, just register; I think it's pretty worthwhile if you don't live in NYC/are too poor to buy the paper or whatever. I won't insult your intelligences further; it's easy enough to find in the style section.

God Bless.

heh.

oh my god, I am starting to creep even myself out. Note to self: No more "heh." stuck at the end of a post.

Um, God Bless.

heh.

Sample passage:

VH1’s “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” is carnival sludge: a nauseating paste of fried dough, cigarette ash, salt and grain alcohol. The rococo pageantry and high spirits of “Flavor of Love,” the channel’s seminal reality dating competition, starring the hype man Flavor Flav, have gone missing from this, the rock version.

This series has trudged along like a heartbroken drunk since July 15, featuring the former Poison frontman Bret Michaels as the bachelor. New episodes appear on Sundays. Reruns appear always.

The well-meaning has-been Bret is surrounded with women who are too young, too frantic or too high to know that being easy isn’t funny in itself. These women drink large quantities of booze, caress Bret in groups of three and flaunt their skills at phone sex on national television. Many of them seem dangerously unwell, discolored, surgically altered, physically unbalanced and worryingly mood-disordered...

Uh, slate that. The article's not so much funny as it is disturbing. Sorry, I non-posted the link after only reading the first three paragraphs.

Okay, it's actually funny and disturbing. Just. like. life. I surpose.

his Reagan-era persona

Bret Michaels=Ferris Bueller=Alex P. Keaton?

No matter how you slice it, kill me now. SRSLY. OK. Go.d

Please. Bring Death swiftly. I am not mature enough to deal with the other human beings' craziness. My own is sufficient, thanks.

Heather is going to win this right? I think the drunken parents sealed the deal.

What is Jes doing there again?

if he does pick Jes,there is no way she stays with him.

lacey's dad: "is there any hair under there?"

is there? i want to see what's under that

me too!

does heather not know jes also boffed brett? she was shouting that lacey was the only one who had done 'all the sex stuff' with him.

'boffed'

sorry

re: the hair comment, i was so happy that lacey's father said what millions of viewers have been thinking. however, men who wear short-sleeved orange turtlenecks have no quarter to criticize the fashion choices of others. i didn't even know that turtlenecks with short sleeves existed!

lauren, you'll need to sign a prenup before you can get access to short sleeved turtlenecks.

she is from dallas - everything is illuminated

i don't see any reason to presume that heather will win

haha! really, that whole thing explained a lot about lacey.

xpost

re: heather, i think that she was gunning for lacey in the heat of the moment and didn't think to bring jes into it. she's not the wide-angle manipulator that lacey was, and also she's just not as vicious. oh, and she's kind of stupid and in denial. let's not forget that! i wouldn't be surprised if she thinks that nothing major happened between brett and jes.

Heathers father was the best. He was all over that free booze

southern ohio, y'all.

wonder how long he and jes will stay together.

poor girl

i didn't like heather, but i feel pretty bad for her. her choice and all to do this, i know, but...

I didn't like Heather, but by the end I felt like she and Brett were made for each other. Jess is gonna dump his diabetic ass within a week.

Brett pulled some Solomon level stuff there at the end with that question!

I think the moral of the story is "don't get a random guy's name tattooed on the back of your neck".

Heather= New york
Jes= Hoops

Isn't Lacey more like New York than Heather is?

yeah, maybe so.
I think either heather or lacey would have probably stayed with bret.
but there is no way jes stays with him

"stays with him" ha - I can't believe you guys actually think this show has any bearing on the stars' daily lives. This is all just for show, kids.

it is?

That tattoo wasn't just for show. Nor was Brett's stink on Heather while Jes was trying to eat breakfast. No way, this is the real deal.

are you joking?

You can never be too serious about breakfast stink.

thanks, shakey - i had no idea that this might be staged or set up in any way! next you're going to tell me that milli vanilli didn't actually sing their hits!

did jes say "rotten pussy" in the interview clip aired immediately after that scene?

yes. lol.

there was some serious lol-ing in our house at that moment.

I loved when Jes is like "i'm not goint to think about it" and while she's kissing Bret you just see the memory/thought balloons of Heather "just think where his mouth has been..."

anyone watch the reunion show? jes didn't last long

i missed it but i read a live blog and cant wait to see lacey's band!!!

i missed it due to baseball. what's the scoop?

so good. Jes was pissed because Brett didn't walk her to her hotel room, though Brett said he shouldn't even have taken her there in the limo because they weren't supposed to see each other outside of the house for the 6 months untill the reunion. Why? No idea. So Jes comes out a bit pissy, but then says you know what? I think Heather's right for you and Brett says, you know what? I think maybe I was scared because Heather was already in love and I didn't know if I could jump in but you still had a guard up and so I wasn't worried and Jes said Heather's the one for you and she wears her heart on her sleeve blah blah then Heather and Jes hugs and the show's over and why it didn't end with Bret asking Heather for another chance I dunno.

Meanwhile, Lacey and Heather made up, Lacey and Dallas did not make up, Heather got a fake "sucks" tattoed under the name "Brett", Rikki Rachtman or whatever is a tool and Rodeo asked Brett for a second chance.

they are not allowed to see eachother until the season airs so there is no chance anyone will see them out or anything.

full report here:

http://celebrealityblog.vh1.com/2007/10/touch-my-backst.html

l-r, David Lee Roth, Bret

http://blog.vh1.com/files/2007/10/rol_reunion_77.jpg

Does anyone know of a working torrent for the reunion show?

its going to be repeated about 5000 times this week, guy.

i just think it was strange how jes basically dumped him in the final two minutes of the show; I'm sure over the past six months plenty of people informed her that she could easily carry her own show on vh1, she strikes me as too shrewd to waste her time w/ him.

(xp) I am looking for a torrent because I do not have cable and thus cannot watch the 5000 repeats. That much should be obvious, guy.

lol get cable

haha