Donald Trump: Classic or Dud?

And to think, Trump probably slept through the whole thing, poor little guy.

“He knew where the reporters were gonna be” for May thread title

self-immolator also had a laura dern podcast called dern after reading

Guilty lolz

Went and read it. Was not pro trump like I expected. Kind of a despairing anticapitalism run through a conspiracy blender and WTF close readings of classic simpsons episodes. Made me sad more than anything.

kinda seemed like the QAnon Shaman guy

Letitia James has asked Judge Engoron to reject Trump's $175 million bond, on the grounds that the company he used is not financially sound. Link here.

Got to give her credit, she is not fucking around.

Manifesto guy bundled lots of his stuff together into a pamphlet called Dipshit Secrets of our Rotten World, which is applause worthy.

I would have read it

its not fair that Trump's the one on trial and yet it's everyone else who's getting the gas chamber

And how to end your Friday per the NYT:

Jesse McKinley
April 19, 2024, 4:30 p.m. ET20 minutes ago

“Sir, can you please have a seat?” the judge says to Trump, as he rises before court is adjourned.

Maggie Haberman
April 19, 2024, 4:30 p.m. ET19 minutes ago

Justice Merchan has left the bench. Trump is standing and looking around the room.

Jonah Bromwich
April 19, 2024, 4:31 p.m. ET19 minutes ago

Trump walks out of the courtroom, patting the bench behind the defense table like an old friend as he goes.

After Trump lawyer Susan Necheles asked again for the name of at least the first witness, Steinglass said he would tell Trump’s counsel the name on Sunday, but if the identity is tweeted before Monday, “that will be the last time.”

Clearly a post-fart shot:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/Z7CYYILLD4MLHBCOVIG36LTAYU.jpg&w=916

Does he know which trial he’s in? (I mean, sometimes I get all the legal proceedings mixed up, too, so…)

trump sharted u kno he did

for thread title

Sir, you were farting bigly.

really funny that the "Trump farted in court" story is taking off, you know it's gonna bother the shit outta him but the more he talks about it the more everyone's gonna think he farted in court

Quite embarrassing to fart at your porn star hush money trial

bring on the fart truthers. they'll try to argue that he who smelt it dealt it but we all know it is in fact he who denied it

If I Dealt It by Donald Trump

bring on the fart truthers. they'll try to argue that he who smelt it dealt it but we all know it is in fact he who denied it

― frogbs

He who denied it supplied it.

David Pecker is such a classic victimised supply teacher, or porn star name. Apologies, I'm easily amused.

He who made the rhyme committed the crime(s)

from witness reports it sounds like his farts could be a health + safety issue. It would be so funny if Merchan made a comment about the Trump farts in a deadly serious and solemn judge voice.

i think its probably noticeable because he's cooped up in one place all day. he's probably someone who uses a bathroom 50 times a day. who was it who said that he smells like garbage and dirty diapers?

Melania

Looking at that pic of Trump in the courtroom, I'm so glad it's one of those brightly-lit fluorescent ones, and not one of those swanky ones you see in the movies, with lots of indirect lighting.

to see the toxic clouds of fart puffing and billowing thru the room OG CSI can supply the correctly calibrated forensic blue light

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EVKB50tU8AIa9RG.jpg

Looking at that pic of Trump in the courtroom, I'm so glad it's one of those brightly-lit fluorescent ones, and not one of those swanky ones you see in the movies, with lots of indirect lighting.

Movie courtrooms also seem to have a lot of super tall windows.

and a respected character actor as the crusty but benign judge

Adam Kinzinger was the first I heard raise Trump odor awareness.

There's an entertaining Rolling Stone piece up today about how the trial is driving him berserk. He's apparently most pissed at Maggie Haberman (the first person to report on his falling asleep), Jimmy Kimmel, and the courtroom sketch artist.

why it's not like he drew the fart

There's an entertaining Rolling Stone piece up today about how the trial is driving him berserk.

Is he increasingly isolated tho

his fartshake brings all the boys to his yard

courtroom artists seem to struggle with form but at least pongo snodgrass stink lines are piss easy to draw

Make arse gas again

https://hyperallergic-newspack.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/2023/04/20230404_161615_resized_2-scaled.jpg

she draws them as a lilac miasma

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtRalpP-mjs

Triumph: like Trump, a relic of the past century that we really should have been done with long ago.

one of the talking heads just now on ABC This Week their Sunday news show was Reince fucking Priebus! like he was just a normal person duking it out with Donna Brazile. shouldn't he be in prison or something?

Here’s a great NPR piece on Alvin Bragg:

https://www.npr.org/2024/04/19/1244729959/alvin-bragg-manhattans-district-attorney-draws-friends-close-and-critics-closer

I see Maggie The Habes is essaying non-fiction narrative writing:

He is sitting in a decrepit courtroom that, for the second half of last week, was so cold his lead lawyer complained respectfully to the judge about it. Mr. Trump hugged his arms to his chest and told an aide, “It’s freezing.”

For the first few minutes of each day during jury selection, a small pool of still photographers was ushered into Part 59 on the 15th floor of the courthouse. Mr. Trump, obsessed with being seen as strong and being seen generally, prepared for them to rush in front of him by adjusting his suit jacket and contorting his face into a jut-jawed scowl. But, by day’s end on Friday, Mr. Trump appeared haggard and rumpled, his gait off-center, his eyes blank

And:

It is hard to recall any other time when Mr. Trump has had to sit and listen to insults without turning to social media or a news conference to punch back. And it is just as hard to recall any other time he has been forced to be bored for so long.

This would make for an amusing novella length book, which ends with him looking at her at the end of the story and having no idea who she is

Inject this in my veins please