Real England

Those flags look like teeth

one thing I've learned is that the ppl that put posters up for the line-dancing and martial arts have much better grammar and visual flair!

is tombola (a) a mobile phone service for the deceased, (b) bribery of the clergy to secure a more desirable plot, or (c) a product for removing those stubborn coffin juice stains?

I can't remember if this thread covered the Woolaston Mystery Mime Man back in 2019

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/06/25/mystery-mime-artist-vanishes-fete-goers-cash-asking-pay-guess/

https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1100/format:webp/0*tsHeNEee-T-AjT8e

A self-styled "Mystery Man" who asked village fete-goers to donate money to guess his identity literally turned out to be a mystery when he vanished after pocketing their cash.

Revellers at Woolaston Carnival in the Forest of Dean assumed the individual was a local resident when he wandered around the fete dressed in a full body morph suit communicating only in mime.

Carnival co-ordinator Andy Morgan Watts who led the parade in his vintage car dressed as a ringmaster, said: "He just appeared.

"Everybody was applauding him because it seemed such a clever way of raising money,"But when he disappeared it left a bad taste because people thought they had been giving money to charity.

Does anyone know about this 'Auditing' thing on YouTube (and probably elsewhere, no doubt) YT has been presenting these clips and I watched a couple but the general conceit is baffling to me.

Blokes wandering around dreary industrial estates, filming and with the seemingly sole intention of winding up the security firms, who they condescend to and occasionally have silly shoving matches, just so they can pointlessly film or fly a drone over, a completely nondescript factory or warehouse building, am I missing something?

I don't mean to use ILX as Google, but I bravely clicked on a Daily Mail article and found that it's an American trend that has found its way over here and while under the banner of 'protecting public photography and drone filming rights' it's just some excuse to boringly needle security firms and the police for YT revenue by dull pricks.

seems like just another flavour of the attention economy, couple of degrees from freemen, couple of degrees from paedo hunters

One of these auditors recently came to one of our offices (not mine thankfully) to start a fight and the video i saw on Tiktok of them trying to batter a security guard is the most embarassing thing I've ever seen

They need to try it at a military base or airport, might even be tempted to watch the resulting video.

the US version of this seems to be about 1st + 2nd amendment rights knuckleheads pushing white privilege to the limits by wandering about with guns in public + trying their best to provoke police interventions so they can loudly challenge them on their knowledge of constitutional rights while filming it. I don't what the hell it is doing over here!

US law applies everywhere don’t ya know. During the Ottawa truckers thing there were some people asserting their “1st Amendment Rights”.

I'd guess the UK version is anti-vaxx types from Hove who got radicalised during lockdown and are now looking for that buzz again

Racegoers fight each other as they scuffle on the second day of the Grand National Festival horse race meeting at Aintree Racecourse in Liverpool, north-west England (2024)#GrandNational pic.twitter.com/5F5wfCFexJ

— Great British Getty Images (@shitbritishpics) April 13, 2024

the video reveals it to be just a bit of playground shoving and a few soft taps exchanged and is over in seconds, the stills make it look more dramatic. I've harder hits from my son when he was 8 years old!

*had*

real scotland

This city ain’t appreciated enough pic.twitter.com/lzQOmQZOSI

— J67 (@Joyce6788_) April 12, 2024

"BLOOD-COVERED HORSES LOOSE IN LONDON"

ffs ppl

A common slave—you know him well by sight—
Held up his left hand, which did flame and burn
Like twenty torches join'd, and yet his hand,
Not sensible of fire, remain'd unscorch'd.
Besides—I ha' not since put up my sword—
Against the Capitol I met a lion,
Who glared upon me, and went surly by,
Without annoying me: and there were drawn
Upon a heap a hundred ghastly women,
Transformed with their fear; who swore they saw
Men all in fire walk up and down the streets.
And yesterday the bird of night did sit
Even at noon-day upon the market-place,
Hooting and shrieking. When these prodigies
Do so conjointly meet, let not men say
'These are their reasons; they are natural;'
For, I believe, they are portentous things
Unto the climate that they point upon.

A man in a white shirt smoking a cigarette walks past a large photograph of Fish and Chips with mushy peas in a motorway service station car park on the M6. (2008) pic.twitter.com/Eg3rVrO9NW

— Great British Getty Images (@shitbritishpics) April 23, 2024

this whole account maybe?

I was in central London yesterday and saw a young bloke wrapped in a Sports Direct-branded flag of St George taking a piss directly over the road from a pub while outdoor drinkers watched on

BLOOD-COVERED HORSES LOOSE IN LONDON

this is a Current 93 album and i claim my five pounds

Watch: How runaway Cavalry horses caused chaos in London

I guess that Jona Lewie was unavailable.

haven't read the article but...

https://i.ibb.co/T28sNXX/20240424-172537.jpg

local journalism at its best

Over the Edge, village-style

Yarn Bomber Nan Is Back

nobody told me she'd gone!

maybe luke unabomber should've gone for luke yarn-bomber when he downgraded his dj name, could've packed out the clubs with the balearic nan contingent

spinning those wheels of wool

could've crotcheted his own slipmats

I guess that Jona Lewie was unavailable.

Those horses could hardly have done more damage than he did in the 95 Rugby world cup semi final

Not really in the spirit of the thread, but anyway. I have been back in the UK now for 8 years and am positive that even in that short time everything already looks significantly worse. Just visiting different places, things are breaking and not getting fixed, no budget for councils to maintain roads and parks, loads of shops and pubs have closed and not been replaced, there are homeless people everywhere and nobody seems to be happy with how things are going for them. Just feels like the country is more and more fucked every year and only the charlatans in charge are saying anything different, and even they don't really believe it.

There's absolutely no doubt that the the UK is significantly worse than 10 years ago and getting worse every year. Every month almost.

with Labour fully committed to the Tory fiscal rules the roads and parks are going to be more fucked and more essential services will be degraded and cut. It's a fucking nightmare thinking about the future, as in just the next few years. I try not to.

if they ever do admit that anything is getting worse, it's only so they can blame it all on the chronically ill / people with disabilities / small boats / trans people / the wokes

speaking of, just read this Gary Younge piece that starts with this:

https://www.nybooks.com/articles/2024/03/21/small-island-gary-younge/

When we returned to London in 2015, after twelve years in the US, we could not get our son into the local elementary school. His class in Hackney, the neighborhood where we live, had the maximum of thirty kids in it, and none were leaving. Pretty much all the nonreligious schools in the area were at full capacity, too. He ended up getting a spot at a school two miles away. When our daughter started kindergarten a couple of years later, her class was also capped at thirty, and full.

Today her class has just fifteen kids in it. Next year the school—located, apparently without irony, on the borough’s first “21st Century Street,” with dedicated green space, bicycle parking, electric vehicle charging, and 40 percent “tree canopy cover”—will close. (It is merging with another undersubscribed school across the main road.) So will more than ninety across the country. Low birth rates and Brexit-induced emigration have forced these changes. On average, elementary school classes in England are at 88 percent capacity, but in some areas, including my fashionable but still quite poor quarter, the rate is far lower.

Not only are the schools shrinking and shutting down—the kids who go to them are getting smaller. After more than a decade of austerity, British five-year-olds are a full centimeter shorter now than they were in 2010, and they are becoming significantly shorter than children in other countries

remember when doctrinaire free marketeers used to argue that gutting public infrastructure was necessary because private enterprise would create more, better quality facilities and services?

you don't hear that said with a straight face nowadays

even in the sectors that were at the heart of private business in a mixed economy: retail, hospitality, entertainment for example, everything is shittier, narrower, more expensive

Some heavy relief

The roast beef of Old England. pic.twitter.com/iAQ1jBKEfE

— david wheatley (@nemoloris) April 27, 2024

This is a ridiculous story…

Former Port Vale player Ryan Burge hates the club so much, he flew a plane over their ground on Saturday with a banner MOCKING their relegation from League One.

He got a pilot’s license, JUST so he could do it.

All new levels of pettiness 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/Da6IhMIozg

— Ryan Dilks (@RyanDilks1) April 29, 2024

might actually be fake england fml

Looks like there's a shortage of police sketch artists in Tunbridge Wells.

Investigators have released a computer generated image of a man they would like to identify in connection with a burglary in Tunbridge Wells. https://t.co/hPrbjaLeyU pic.twitter.com/D35VA8TfQd

— Kent Police TWells (@KentPoliceTWell) April 29, 2024

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Buttigieg

Can’t believe this app is free pic.twitter.com/CpuRlny2Mo

— Ant (@M0kujin) April 30, 2024

Hope somebody can stop Brian Cox's crime spree in Tunbridge Wells soon