thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

My experience of *being* a small child with cancer was to be told my illness was ‘a lump on your kidney’ and then precociously picking up the big family medical book when I was in first grade, looking up types of lumps that might be on a kidney and then interrupting my parents with ‘I had CANCER, right?’

If you are a disability benefits claimant in the UK, your benefits are funded by public money, and you are expected to give details of your conditions in detail to claim, right down to how you manage to wipe yourself clean after using the toilet. It's degrading and abhorrent and the best you can hope for is a meagre amount to support your bills, while this family get the best of treatment and priority for it.

Was trying to write something along these lines last night but I kept getting too angry and channelling my inner calzino (yes, I was wishing horrible deaths upon everyone in the monarchy, and eh, I only sort of feel bad about it).

a woman in her early 40s being diagnosed and treated for cancer is sad, and it's the kind of thing that would easily garner sympathy from the monarchy agnostics, so the idea that they didn't initially reveal it is bizarre to me.

This is an old school WASP thing, I thought? Having disease is a symbol of being impure and thus, lesser than. There's not much more to it than that, I think.

Yeah fuck em tbpfh, the health travails of oligarchs is just not something I’m about to lose a moment’s peace about, not even the bad one that begins with C, not even a ~mum~

wgaf

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/65/Dance-death-ridinger-german-18thC.jpg

xps

If she had to apply for PIP (yeah of course she doesn't need to) even if you are going through chemo that isn't a guarantee it will be awarded to you. The accounts of cancer patients being turned down or needing to appeal/apply a 2nd time while falling into financial hardship has been a constant since it replaced DLA.

If the Royal Family thought they could cure Kate Middleton’s cancer by killing 10% of the population, the death camps would be open by dawn.

— Women for Wes (@Women4Wes) March 23, 2024

China, Russia and Iran are reportedly behind the spread of conspiracy theories, slurs and rumours about the Princess of Wales. Senior government figures are said to believe that the states deliberately peddled lies on social media in a bid to destabilise society. pic.twitter.com/xfDUlZ7gdf

— Good Morning Britain (@GMB) March 25, 2024

the ayatollah, Putin and the CCP did a good thing!

they at least did the funniest thing

Better if they helped us get rid of the lot of them, cancer mum and all.

Obv. the Great British Public (GBP) would never invent these dumbshit stories by themselves, yes it must have been Bad Foreign Actors attempting to destabilise the very stable nation of Britain

LOL that is such a blatant "it wasnt me" deflection from the shitty UK press.

King Charles has spoken of his "great sadness" at missing the traditional Maundy Thursday service.

The King is not attending public events while he has treatment for cancer but recorded a message that was played at the service at Worcester Cathedral.

Queen Camilla was instead at the service, where she handed out Maundy money.

In his message, the King reaffirmed his coronation pledge "not to be served, but to serve" with "my whole heart".

He praised those who "extend the hand of friendship, especially in a time of need".

He added: "It is for me a great sadness that I cannot be with you today."

The number of recipients of Maundy Money matches the age of the monarch - so 75 men and women will receive this symbolic gift.

The King's message, recorded in mid-March, included a Bible reading and a call that as a nation: "We need and benefit greatly from those who extend the hand of friendship to us, especially in a time of need."

audio-only message recorded a couple of weeks ago u say, king charles iii (regnal name george vii) is surely in fine fettle

AI voice scams are on the increase I hear

"Queen Camilla was instead at the service, where she handed out Maundy money"

this maundy money bullshit goes back to Edward I, they all went to hell for various reasons but surely hijacking a holy day mass to put on some bs ceremony of monarchical generosity that has as much to do with christian Easter as cadbury's creme eggs is amply disrespectful enough for a ticket to hell.

They all spill out onto the high street after to be confronted by endless signs saying "Maundy Money not accepted here"

I mean it's the Church of England for a reason

Maunday money (bah-da bah-da-da-da)
So good to me (bah-da bah-da-da-da)

after Jesus cleansed the temple he told those lads to fuck off, he didn't say well I guess you can hand out fake money to make yourself look good if you want to!

wait it's not real money?

I don't like maundys

Just another manic maundy?

They always get me down

wait it's not real money?

Being an ignorant lout of an American, I looked up Maundy money in wikipedia and discovered:

the British monarch or a royal official ceremonially distributes small silver coins known as "Maundy money" (legally, "the King's Maundy money") as symbolic alms to elderly recipients. The coins are technically legal tender, but typically do not circulate due to their silver content and numismatic value.

SO, this is one of those weird holdovers like touching for "the King's evil" See:
https://history.rcplondon.ac.uk/blog/touching-kings-evil-short-history

when William's king they're going to modernise it and hand out £15 Playstation Network cards

they're ceremonial coins, the US also does this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_commemorative_coins

i image most states do tbh

why not gelt, at least you can eat that

im sure you could sell the coin, but maybe you want to keep it, as a keepsake

or launch them at William's ugly slaphead next time he cries at an FA cup final cos all those nasty scousers are booing the national anthem.

These fucking ppl

it's ok bud they're all dead now

rip big family

thoughts and prayers

Less than two months after Buckingham Palace confirmed King Charles III was diagnosed with cancer, sources exclusively reveal to In Touch that the king is battling pancreatic cancer and has been given two years to live.

While the royal family has kept tight-lipped about the specifics of Charles’ illness, including the type of cancer he has, a source exclusively confirms to In Touch that the king’s diagnosis is known to be an open secret among royal staffers.

“Many courtiers believe Charles’ cancer is worse than they’re making it out to be,” a second insider adds. “Even before the diagnosis, there were concerns about his health."

come on i can't wait two years for an extra bank holiday

Ouch, that's one of the worst cancers to get iirc

What's In Touch?

^ out of touch

2 years might be optimistic - it is usually incurable and when the end comes it comes quickly

He might even win some sympathy over this. Too bad he has such a grossly unsympathetic personality. The problem with being heir to a throne is it leads to an all-pervasive sense of entitlement.

er

What's _In Touch_?

sorry that was a typo, it was supposed to read According to Zing Touch…

It's time for a return to old-style king-naming. I look forward to the reign of King William the Bald.

ivar the boneless and olaf the flashy
were a very notorious couple of kings

Harald Bluetooth would often stay rooted to the same spot in his great hall

Ivar the Boneless one of the few monarchs to have a KFC meal deal named in his honour

don’t forget æthelred the zinger tower

Pancreatic cancer was the same thing that killed Steve jobs. Charles seems like the kind of person to try the same treatment (nuts and berries etc).

nuts and buried morelike