start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

I just remember as a kid saying "why is the man in the restaurant asking if I want salad dressing with my turkey"

I manage to get all the stuffing, stuffed. Lots up the neck and over the breast, under the skin. It’s a good way to keep the chicken/turkey breast meat moistened.

Just had the radio on in the car and the jingle said "the best sixties hits of the sixties" !

dear roasted red pepper,

you fucking troll. you're so proud of yourself, aren't you? "oH lOoK aT mE! pUt Me In EvErYtHiNg!" and it actually worked because of your stupidly beautiful eye-catching shiny red skin. now everything that you get cooked with gets overpowered by your fake tomato texture and your distinctly bland flavor. and then, the indigestion and burps that continue to mock me for hours afterwords are all your pleasure no doubt.

you are the poison mushroom from japanese mario bros. you are the sleeve of dark side of the moon in the charity shop bin that actually has a mantovani record in it. you are the prick who replaces sugar with salt. no one likes you.

but you just keep fucking showing up.

you are beautiful.

now off you fuck.

sincerely,
I'VE HAD ENOUGH GOD DAMMIT

Amen

I prefer green or orange roast peppers fwiw

don't even get me started on cherry tomatoes. PICK A SIDE, YOU COWARDLY DOT. AND WHO THE HELL LET YOU IN THE SALSA!? >=/

I went to the new burger hotspot and the trap music was soo loud. The sign behind the counter said all burgers come with pickles and onions. I order a cheeseburger and the stoned cashier / dj says “that’s it?” And I say yes. I get the burger and repair to my local watering hole to sit and enjoy it. It looks small as I unwrap it…and indeed it’s just a cheeseburger. Nothing on it. Ffs

they've reduced the plastic used in yoghurt pots / guacamole etc by not providing lids. so once you open it you can't reseal it.

USA Today articles have this annoying, big black circle with a white 'X' in it, that you reflexively click on to get rid of, but the X actually...takes you back to the home page of USA Today!

the fuck

Any Gannett website — USA Today, regional papers, local TV stations — is unnecessarily excruciating.

am I the only idiot clicking on the big X on the top left corner of tweets thinking it will close the window or something

Not that I think this is particularly "irrational", but good lord it is really starting to feel like the wild west on the roads these days. Signs, stoplights and traffic laws are just mild suggestions at this point.

This morning during a short 15-minute drive I saw a guy drive the wrong way down two full blocks because he was mad that he needed to wait for a school bus, saw four people not even slow down at stop signs and watched while not one, not two, not three but four cars ran right through a red light.

To clarify, that was four cars that ran through the SAME red light, one after the other.

it's hard to drive and change Marty Robbins 8-tracks at the same time

here's mine for the day - people who are doing a peer review and provide feedback, which you then make and then request sign-off, only for them to find new things they didn't the first time on each subsequent review. no...that's not how it works!

How about people whom you strive to do a good job for throughout the year and then forget to fill out a feedback form for you. Savages

On the car tip people who don't indicate their intentions send me to some otherworldly level of anger. This is me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rss4YQi9D5o

when you press your phone's "back" button when you're in an app, and instead of going back to the page/ section you were previously on, just TAKES YOU OUT OF THE APP.

my kids' school uses such an app and it makes me furious. Here is the list of messages! go and read one! but if you want to go right back to the list of messages you have to find the special unlabelled icon!

kids' school uses such an app

Say no more.

“Ever hear of pants?” I said

"why are you in a hurry to hang up"

"Because I'm on my way to hang out with you. What is the point of talking en route to hanging out"

when you're getting paid for a theatre gig, they tell you they're all ready to begin doing payouts two days ago, ask you for your Paypal info yesterday, and after you give it, a whole day passes and...nothing.

So..you weren't actually ready to begin payouts, then? (The other company that has paid me to do theatre has usually sent it within an hour of getting your info).

no worries about being stiffed, I've known the guy in charge for like 15 years, I'm just an impatient fella when it comes to money. and they won't tell us how much, either. so it could be like enough to get a coffee or $100.

Robot phone calls where, when you ask the robot if it's a robot, it has a preprogramed little laugh and then lies "No!"

I am a real warm grandpa!

Robot phone calls where, when you ask the robot if it's a robot, it has a preprogramed little laugh and then lies "No!"

Exactly the answer I'd expect from a robot.

Your ego is so big that being an artist is not enough. You also have to be a public personality. Ugh

the phrase "alright I'm gonna let you go" must immediately precede goodbyes and departing the call. if you continue to talk about stuff long after that, I'll excuse myself politely and drop off abruptly. i hate phone calls enough as it is, false endings make them even more intolerable.

Neanderthal otm; I love my wife inordinately but she uses "I'm gonna let you go" to mean "I want you to stop talking." It is not especially honest, but to her it is seen as a polite figure of speech or an acceptable euphemism.

People who talk and use the hand gesture of snapping something out of the air with their fingers

Why does humanity disgust me
I’m such a misanthrope
Something I would like to change

xp
People who use the "talking on the telephone" hand gesture (thumb up, pinky down next to your mouth) when they're right in front of you, telling you that they called someone.

To whoever at The Coca-Cola Company who keeps changing for formula for Sprite: please stop. You've changed it again recently and now Sprite tastes like floor cleaner smells.

^^ "I think it's time we ended our relationship. And just to be clear, it's you not me."

Took the kids to McDonald's recently and found that they are phasing out sugar in drinks, so you can now only get diet sprite, diet fanta, etc. The only drink with sugar was regular coke. I cannot stand any kind of artificial sweetener (and have seen research that they are almost as bad for you as sugar) and can't drink caffeine after mid-day, so this left me absolutely zero options. I mean solution is to not go to McDonald's again, which is fine by me, but going to complain about it here too.

Artificial sweeteners are really bad for people with Chron’s Disease too.

Ugh, Camaraderie. The chalky taste of Aspartame/NutraSweet is repellent to me; I would rather just have water or juice. And I am not a big fan of caffiene either, if I have any intention of sleeping any time soon. I don't think my children should have either of those things. I guesss we are back to apple juice, the Karen of the beverage world.

Freshly squeezed lemonade is the best and cheapest way to go (add a few drops of pomegranate juice for pink lemonade).

^ just made this last night!

I found out a couple of years ago that there's often a way to get just sparkling water out of most self-serve soda fountains, which has been useful to me when I end up in a McDonalds or other fast food place. I don't like artificial sweeteners either and am trying to cut back on sugar and caffeine.

Took the kids to McDonald's recently and found that they are phasing out sugar in drinks, so you can now only get diet sprite, diet fanta, etc. The only drink with sugar was regular coke. I cannot stand any kind of artificial sweetener (and have seen research that they are almost as bad for you as sugar) and can't drink caffeine after mid-day, so this left me absolutely zero options. I mean solution is to not go to McDonald's again, which is fine by me, but going to complain about it here too.

UK sugar tax strikes again

The chalky taste of Aspartame/NutraSweet is repellent to me; I would rather just have water or juice.

I had to drink Diet Pepsi this past weekend. It was like sloshing liquid Sweet 'n' Low around in my mouth. Horrible. When someone at a food establishment asks "Is Pepsi OK?" the correct answer is to just turn around and walk out.

The thing I used to hear from people who drink a lot of cola years ago was that Coke was better than pepsi but diet pepsi was better than diet coke I think? But Coke Zero is better than both? I don't know, I like the taste of Coke, think Pepsi is fine and mostly avoid all diet versions, though weirdly Diet Dr Pepper actually kind of works.

As a diabetic, I can't drink regular full-sugar sodas.

Coke Zero is sugar-free Coke. It tastes like Coke.

Diet Coke is sugar-free New Coke (the one from the 80s that they discontinued). It tastes like a battery, but I'll drink it if it's all that's available.

Pepsi products come straight out of Satan's urethra.

Pepsi Max Cherry is OK. Diet Pepsi Apricot is the devil's urine.

Diet Dr Pepper is more than passable, as is Fresca.

Apricot ? What is this sorcery

wtf is diet pepsi apricot?? I have never seen this.

It sounds like liquid misery

Love artificial sweeteners lol. If I am mistakenly served a regular soda it feels like pouring sugar in my mouth. There's a film!

I love Fresca and miss it. I was a hardcore DC person my whole life but realized maybe 5 years ago that I prefer diet pepsi.

I had to drink Diet Pepsi this past weekend. It was like sloshing liquid Sweet 'n' Low around in my mouth. Horrible. When someone at a food establishment asks "Is Pepsi OK?" the correct answer is to just turn around and walk out.

― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Thursday, February 29, 2024 10:38 AM (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Like swishing nutrasweet. It would have had to have been Tab to taste like Sweet n Low.