who in this bitch reads robert jordan? -- The Wheel of Time thread

80% of men cannot locate Northarbor

Not the last lol

wow that completely flew over my 11 year-old head

there's even a bad tshirt https://shopwheeloftime.com/products/tar-valon-harbor-master-1

uhmmmm that shirt is incredible.
Also can't say I ever noticed the gynecological implications of Tar Valon.

Another showrunner interview

https://www.vulture.com/article/wheel-of-time-season-2-showrunner-explains-adaptation-choices.html

Is anyone enjoying the show who has not read the books?

I watched the first season and didn't really like it much. By the time the second season came out I had mostly forgotten what happened in S1. The season recap didn't really help much, nor did the first episode of S2. Other than the fact that two of the young women are having difficulty training at Hogwarts and the one main lady and her helper are having relationship issues because she lost her magic, I couldn't really grasp what was going on or what the larger point of the show was. I haven't continued past that first episode of S2.

My wife has not read the books but likes the show, thinks season 2 is a marked improvement on season 1.
Another friend liked the first season enough to start reading the books.

i haven’t read the books & like it well enough! though I keep forgetting to watch it & the longer i leave it the less i understand what’s going on lol

you should read the books and moan in the threads about the books imo

i bought the books for mr veg but there’s too many lol

i rarely can ever commit to a series! lord of the rings & like, feist’s magician series are about the only ones i ever saw through to the end

Wait like ALL of the Feist books?? Like when we’re talking about like Arutha’s kids and shit? I loved original core trilogy when I was a youth but couldn’t get into the later books.

lol nooo just the the first three riftwars

king's buccaneer is good iirc

lads

i may have begun re-reading the books : /

ffs

Now I ain't a gamblin man but I'd give 2:1 odds you give up during or at the end of book 4.

cauthon vibes ^

also i back him for a full run

they are much easier reread ime

Pretty sure I gave up during book 3 last time I tried.

cauthon vibes

out of the core three stooges, i guess i'd rather be mat than mr crazy or the wolfman.

i have tried to submit a triplicate post

https://i.ibb.co/pK6nvpX/IMG-6379.jpg

if i can do it, you can do it! don't give up!

incredible that all those still have their covers intact; the copies i had when i was a kid had the absolute worst glue.

working my way through book 5

'Working' the correct word there

"Are you still working on that, or can I take it away?"

sanderson to corpse of r jordan

looool

Pretty sure I gave up during book 3 last time I tried.

book 3 is where he starts to get annoying. way more tugs of the braid than previously. like a dozen uses of 'round instead of around. a weird reticence to use contractions. egwene and nynaeve are in an endless spat for no particular reason. perrin is so feeble -- oh no, a hot and mysterious chick (with skirts divided for riding) likes me and i don't know what to do! kickass wolves want to be my best friends but i'd rather cry!

at least the aiel still rule. on to book four

(if i'm to get through this i may need to skip over a *lot* of perrin bits. i don't want to be a leader! i'm just a blacksmith! oh faile! fuck you perrin aybara)

also loial is cool but would be much cooler if he did anything but

- whoa, ta’veren
- hey do you like books? because i like books
- fingers like sausages
- oh no elder haman will think i’m putting a long handle on my axe
- oh no they’re gonna make me marry a cutie
- you ta’veren are so hasty amirite
- droopy tufted ears
- never anger an aes sedai!
- mmm ta’veren

Book three. Of fourteen.

you posting this was neither the beginning nor the end of our discussions of robert jordan's oeuvre. there are neither beginnings nor endings to discussions of the wheel of time

but it was a beginning

halfway through book five and this one rules because there's been no perrin at all yet

fortune prick me if i do no keep you abreast arms crossed below my breasts of my progress

like a dozen uses of 'round instead of around

this, happily, completely disappeared after book three

Just finished book five - things are still happening, though I understand that may not continue to be the case.

growing to appreciate Jordan's commitment to his bit, with the spankings and the obsession with women showing their legs and the random insertions like

Rand gazed upon the Forsaken and saw death. He grasped as much saidin as he could, filling himself up to the limit. If it ended here, he would never see Elayne's face again. He thought of the time he had offended her without knowing - women were mysterious like eels in a bucket, just as Bhob Cutlack always said back in the Two Rivers. The low-cut dress Elayne wore that day had made him see her as a woman. Balefire flashed in front of him, almost erasing him from the Pattern forever.

he knew what he was doing with this stuff, right?

just as Bhob Cutlack always said

On Bluesky Saeed Jones has discovered the series and it's kinda great, thus:

Now that I think about it, I want to have sex with Perrin too. He’s hiding a banging body underneath all the grief, depression and demonic nightmares.

jordan died from pulling the stomach outtve himself as he cryprayed

reached the part in which things are still kinda happening but nevertheless most of our time is spent with

• elayne and nynaeve wanting to box each other's ears
• everyone wanting to box mat's ears
• everyone obsessed with plunging necklines on dresses, then blushing
• faile refusing to talk to perrin and perrin endlessly freaking out about it
• lews therin gibbering
• elayne and min (and aviendha, slightly) moping about rand
• each of our main three complaining that the other two understand women
• men!
• women!

'kneel or you will be knelt' is a good line tho

also i have to ask -- since it's late and i'm not sober -- what is the upside of being a darkfriend?

first off it's horrible branding. there are lots of bad people around -- whitecloaks, seanchan, shaido -- but they don't *think* of themselves as evil; they've at least convinced themselves that they're doing the right thing.

there is, however, really no ambiguity about swearing unbreakable oaths to someone called The Dark One and/or Shaitan who has been imprisoned in a place called Shayol Ghul for 3000 years.

but what does anyone get out of it? if you're the head of a house competing for a vacant throne, i guess i can maybe see it?

if you're a random farmer or innkeeper, under regular circumstances, what are you getting to compensate for having a myrddraal periodically slobber on you/kill your extended family? some extra money maybe?

if you're an aes sedai, you can basically do whatever the fuck you want anywhere in the world. under normal circumstances maybe you get . . . i don't even know? but when the shit hits the fan the forsaken chosen will absolutely wreck you for their own purposes

everyone is just cannon-fodder for the chosen/forsaken. if the cute girl from four kings survives the end of the world, at best she lives forever as a slave to some really sadistic assholes. the perfect darkfriend future entails like a dozen people allowing you to torture everyone else who ever lived if you kiss their boots. it doesn't seem like a good bargain

the wheel of time promises *nothing*! it's not like if you live a good life, you'll come back as someone slightly higher in the hierarchy. apparently you just come back as yourself, again and again, forever.

maybe TV ishamael was otm

what and why darkfriends are is actually the biggest "ive no idea" of Jordan's entire effort tbh, you just have to handwave it away

by the time spoiler turns out to have been spoiler but spoiler spoiler im already just laughing and saying oh fuck off

yeah i know its two decades but spoilers is a srs business

i should box your ears

each of our main three complaining that the other two understand women

i didn't grok this as a kid so i found it funny when i reread

i guess i don't mind the men are from mars/women are from venus shtick, the only other epic fantasy i read the filler was a lot more boring (i'm talking about grrm's pages and pages of boiled leather outfits)

i do agree though that perrin's arc is the most unsatisfying of the three... i think there are a few books later that just skip him entirely?

theres good moments of payoff imo

he rescues his missus more than fuckin mario all the same

Wanna say thank you to mookieproof for being the hero this thread of the pattern really needs.

The Wheel crushes all beneath it.

reached the part in which things are still kinda happening but nevertheless most of our time is spent with

elayne and nynaeve wanting to box each other's ears
everyone wanting to box mat's ears
everyone obsessed with plunging necklines on dresses, then blushing
faile refusing to talk to perrin and perrin endlessly freaking out about it
lews therin gibbering
elayne and min (and aviendha, slightly) moping about rand
each of our main three complaining that the other two understand women
men!
women!
like, a little of this *might* be okay, but it's just fucking endless. half the characters (and all the aes sedai?) have reverted to acting like sullen teenagers even as the larger stakes get bigger. mat and perrin don't want to be bloody heroes, yes, we fucking get it. never have books screamed more loudly for an editor

trying to work out whether mookieproof is ahead of me or behind me, it's hard to tell!