the answer is because it's store bought. just make your own!
― budo jeru, Friday, 15 September 2023 22:22 (eight months ago) link
I would if I knew what to put in it to make it taste like the restaurant version! I notice the gallon sauce has tomato paste in it in addition to the mayo and chipotle. Maybe I should try adding a bit of that. Just mayo + chipotle doesn't do it.
― o. nate, Friday, 15 September 2023 22:46 (eight months ago) link
think this might be the weekend I finally make fresh mayonnaise
― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 15 September 2023 22:52 (eight months ago) link
Basic mayo is great for mixing in hot sauces, garlic/spices, etc
― 50 Favorite Jordans (Jordan), Friday, 15 September 2023 23:22 (eight months ago) link
Making aioli is tricky. I made it once with an olive oil that was so strong-tasting that it ruined the mix. It was pain to make and was such a disappointment. Other friends have made better versions of it, but I have always felt indifferent to their versions too.
I like store-bought mayonnaise better - Hellmans, Kewpie, Duke's, even Kraft
― Dan S, Saturday, 16 September 2023 00:06 (eight months ago) link
We call Hellman's 'Best Foods' out west
A good Cannonball Run remake might see some lovable rogues trying to smuggle Best Foods east of the Mississippi
― Andy the Grasshopper, Saturday, 16 September 2023 00:31 (eight months ago) link
yes. Buy canned chipotles in adobo and blend with store mayo.
― The Xenaverse Connection (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 16 September 2023 00:35 (eight months ago) link
I disagree. Canned chipotles in adobo are so out there that I have no idea how to use them. They are big thick slabs of dried jalapenos in a very intense sauce. They are definitely not meant as a sauce for dipping fries
― Dan S, Saturday, 16 September 2023 00:52 (eight months ago) link
never, ever make aïoli with olive oil. always a neutral oil like canola otherwise it will be gross
― budo jeru, Saturday, 16 September 2023 01:01 (eight months ago) link
when it comes to canned chipotles in adobo, just some of the liquid they're packed in will suffice to fold in with store mayo, and that way you wouldn't need a blender
― budo jeru, Saturday, 16 September 2023 01:06 (eight months ago) link
upon reflection i would like to amend my previous post: for "mayo flavor" please sub in "taint of mayo"
budo jeru you have made me want potatoes, yet all the potatoes currently in my possession are earmarked for soup, and i am much grieved. and how were yours sliced, spears or chips or other? i've tried to make those wacky accordion spuds and by gosh they're a lot of fuss for relatively little potat.
o. nate what if you went to the cafe and ordered fries with a quart of dipping sauce, and then you surreptitiously scraped the chipotle mayo into your purse, what if that
Andy, one day your heart will learn to love mayonnaise and we will all welcome you home with greasy arms and sulfurous, eggy kisses
― the wind beneath my wang (cat), Saturday, 16 September 2023 01:14 (eight months ago) link
what if -- i'm having a brainstorm here, a brain tornado, a brain typhoon -- what if i make scrambled eggs with mayonnaise and nothing else
― the wind beneath my wang (cat), Saturday, 16 September 2023 02:23 (eight months ago) link
these were farmer's market potatoes, small and more round than oblong. i quartered them in attempt to make mini jojo potatoes
when parboiling i used white vin and fish sauce, i think this helped with the flavor. in the past i've sliced potatoes raw and baked them directly, but the result was always too dry
― budo jeru, Saturday, 16 September 2023 19:20 (eight months ago) link
i should add, finally, that after boiling to near-done-ness (but still somewhat stiff), i let them dry overnight in the fridge on a sheet tray. i think this helped them get crispy when baking
― budo jeru, Saturday, 16 September 2023 19:22 (eight months ago) link
i love farmer's market taters so frigging much. and, yeah, the parcooking takes 'em next level when roasted fer sure
i've made this vegan mayo before and a) it was really good! b) nice not having to worry about there being raw egg in it. i'd make it but have about a quart of kewpie in the fridge.recipe in case anyone's of a mind: Veganaise½ cup of soy milk, plain and preferably unsweetened1 cup plus 2 tablespoons of canola oil¼ teaspoon of apple cider vinegar¼ teaspoon of agave¾ teaspoon of kosher salt½ tablespoon of fresh lemon juicezest from 1/8 of an organic lemon1/8 teaspoon of dry mustard
― matcha man (outdoor_miner), Saturday, 16 September 2023 20:42 (eight months ago) link
do you make an emulsion of some kind, or just mix it all together?
― budo jeru, Saturday, 16 September 2023 20:57 (eight months ago) link
emulsion, yeah. Oil added after combining other ings.
― matcha man (outdoor_miner), Saturday, 16 September 2023 21:31 (eight months ago) link
https://www.tiktok.com/@worldsportsnetwork/video/7274408052772637995the only good sport
― come on barbo let’s go parpo (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 26 September 2023 20:48 (seven months ago) link
mayonnaise soup happened and it wasn't my fault
my lad has a perpetual soup going in the slow cooker, into which he gleefully (and, some might say, heedlessly) tosses the odds and ends that accumulate in our fridge.
there was something calling itself "broccoli salad" which he scraped into the pot, perhaps not fully realizing what was about to happen
and now he is having a bowl of mayonnaise soup. i haven't told him yet. i might not ever have the heart to tell him.
the devil has his soul now.
― Aileen Invader (cat), Sunday, 31 December 2023 16:33 (four months ago) link
Thinking about buying some mayo to make deviled eggs
― calstars, Sunday, 31 December 2023 17:38 (four months ago) link
xp didn't have to wait too long for someone to come up with something worse than lasagne soup.
― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Sunday, 31 December 2023 17:40 (four months ago) link
i always have this feeling that deviled eggs are gnarly hemispheres of congealed chicken mucous but then have one anyway and it tastes great???? probably some kind of devil magic, given the name + mayo component
― Aileen Invader (cat), Sunday, 31 December 2023 18:00 (four months ago) link
I bought Mrs. Cal a hard boiled egg maker appliance (which she promptly discarded) that I have been using it every morning. Just a little salt and it’s a perfect breakfast
― calstars, Sunday, 31 December 2023 19:16 (four months ago) link
I am about to make "dressing" for coleslaw, but I know what this really is
― Natural Wine • Danny Devito • Virginia (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 31 December 2023 19:31 (four months ago) link
repulsive string of posts
― Left, Sunday, 31 December 2023 19:35 (four months ago) link
frankly horrifying
― J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Sunday, 31 December 2023 19:57 (four months ago) link
http://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_fullsize/plain/did%3Aplc%3Aesfqqq2np2jvvsw3b2wswhex/bafkreid23ompw7dv43s6vuq2hbm7kvh4iez2z3tglrlygshtnxptfbfmyy@jpeg
― I? not I! He! He! HIM! (akm), Sunday, 31 December 2023 20:03 (four months ago) link
all time best mayo hating discourse on bsky
http://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did%3Aplc%3Azljlg7cgdfsl7maqvjjpp7i4/bafkreigz7j4fmaks2nej2k66pd2uufkknj3kuyurc5hum5cal6heuwmxaq@jpeg
― I? not I! He! He! HIM! (akm), Sunday, 31 December 2023 20:04 (four months ago) link
so we're not missing out then
― budo jeru, Sunday, 31 December 2023 20:14 (four months ago) link
Mayo is absolutely terrible BUT deviled eggs, when done correctly, are wonderful
The secret is to use seasoning (staring accusingly at all the white people in the upper Midwest as I type)
― the new drip king (DJP), Sunday, 31 December 2023 20:39 (four months ago) link
just having the word "seasoning" on the same line as "upper midwest" is more seasoning than they get most of the year
― J Edgar Noothgrush (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Sunday, 31 December 2023 20:55 (four months ago) link
Paprika and salt
― calstars, Sunday, 31 December 2023 21:03 (four months ago) link
Oi! My mom’s devilled eggs were egg yolk/mayo/minced pickles/white pepper/paprika with a dusting of paprika over the finished eggs. God tier.
― steely flan (suzy), Sunday, 31 December 2023 21:10 (four months ago) link
Yolks, sweet pickle relish, minced sweet onion, mayo, yellow mustard, Italian seasoning blend, salt and pepper, a bit of Korean brown rice vinegar, sometimes a bit of sriracha depending on who I'm making for. Tiny pinch of smoked paprika to garnish. Fat + salt + acid on a creamy protein half-shell, nice balanced bite.
― that's when I reach for my copy of Revolver (WmC), Sunday, 31 December 2023 21:31 (four months ago) link
Pickle element intriguing
― calstars, Sunday, 31 December 2023 21:59 (four months ago) link
oh yes those lil minced pickles are urgent & key
y'all getting me hungry for deviled egg boats in a decadent cream of mayonnaise sea
― Aileen Invader (cat), Sunday, 31 December 2023 22:01 (four months ago) link
I would like to try good devilled eggs but hard boiling is against my religion
― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 31 December 2023 22:10 (four months ago) link
Deviled egg x pickle back
― calstars, Sunday, 31 December 2023 22:11 (four months ago) link
I put sweet pickle relish with mayo and mustard in egg salad, it's a good combo
― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Sunday, 31 December 2023 22:19 (four months ago) link
Mustard? Yuck
― calstars, Sunday, 31 December 2023 22:26 (four months ago) link
Pickle element provides acidity, but it's one of many different ways.
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Sunday, 31 December 2023 22:32 (four months ago) link
Oh yeah, my mom put some French’s in hers for colour and also apex Midwesterner.
― steely flan (suzy), Sunday, 31 December 2023 22:45 (four months ago) link
Hot sauce yes
― calstars, Sunday, 31 December 2023 22:46 (four months ago) link
I steam eggs instead of boiling now
― that's when I reach for my copy of Revolver (WmC), Sunday, 31 December 2023 23:33 (four months ago) link
That’s what my new thing does, it steams a cold egg for 10 minutes to hard-boiled perfection
― calstars, Sunday, 31 December 2023 23:35 (four months ago) link
Is it the oil or raw egg yolk that drives the mayo haters mad? We don't know for sure, but every lame-o loves to dip their shit kebab in the local toum and tell other garlic fans how advanced they are in garlic pursuits.
― Natural Wine • Danny Devito • Virginia (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 1 January 2024 03:34 (four months ago) link
I'm fine with mayo, but based on the many comments made by people repulsed by it I'd say it is neither oil nor egg yolk that bothers the majority of them, but the combination of unctuous mouth feel and gloppy white appearance that triggers their revulsion. Taste doesn't seem to enter it nearly as much as those two factors. Now they can speak for themselves in their usual eloquent fashion.
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Monday, 1 January 2024 04:14 (four months ago) link
the warm eggy smell & schlorpy sound & gelatinous quiver turn some people off i guess
lol at the proud garlic gourmands, keep yr heads up you kings of stankbreath! no, higher, please, up out the sunroof if you wouldn't mind
― Aileen Invader (cat), Monday, 1 January 2024 05:18 (four months ago) link
it also tastes like shit
― brimstead, Monday, 1 January 2024 16:19 (four months ago) link
off-white gelatinous quiver is what disgusts me i wish i could get over it but i haven't been able to so far
― Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Tuesday, 2 January 2024 16:18 (four months ago) link