The first time I was told by an ex-girlfriend that she faked it, it stung a bit. The second time I was told that, it downright hurt.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Time for a new game plan, because this whole "my cock is an awesome cock" thing apparently doesn't work 24/7/365.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 19:54 (fourteen years ago) link
try substituting "vengeful" for "awesome"
― I am over wieght and I have angelical quilities (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 August 2009 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link
ooh... Old Testament cock. I've never tried that. I like, I like...
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link
one of the secret benefits of a tonsilectomy = increased oral capacity for dong (not referring to myself fyi)
― there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 6 August 2009 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link
Oh, I didn't know that, I had a tonsilectomy a couple of years ago. Maybe I should finally try the dong?
― Tuomas, Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:01 (fourteen years ago) link
when oh when will there be an "are you good at receiving oral sex" thread
― the evil genius of Zaiger Genetics (J0hn D.), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:02 (fourteen years ago) link
let's go on a dongventure
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link
LOUIS!!!
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link
vent ur dong
― watch me superban dat ho (Curt1s Stephens), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:05 (fourteen years ago) link
a summer holidong
(don't worry, these are all getting red-taped at birth)
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:05 (fourteen years ago) link
Interesting, kenan. I don't think I care much if a girl fakes it. Mostly girls have just said something along the lines of, "I give up. It's not going to happen." I can empathise. I've been there, too, and if you want to fake an orgasm to just end everything abruptly (and possibly assuage someone's potential hurt feelings), it's not the worst thing in the world. I guess I don't expect to be everybody's ideal lover and I don't expect everything to always work out on any given occasion.
This^^^
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link
Dong is like wiener; there's no way I could ever utter those words.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:07 (fourteen years ago) link
"I give up. It's not going to happen." I can empathise. I've been there, too
I can't even fathom this.
― I am over wieght and I have angelical quilities (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:07 (fourteen years ago) link
(it not happening, I mean)
tuomas ideally you should have already sampled dong to make an informed assessment of your capacity for dong with and without tonsils
― there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:08 (fourteen years ago) link
It may be asking a little much to ask him to have his tonsil put back in in the name of preserving the scientific method!
― I am over wieght and I have angelical quilities (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.gupuds.com/http://www.gupuds.com//static/images/promo/fred-large.jpg^^^ suspect that there's a wheel of Camembert in there...
― grocery groin (snoball), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link
Never been too tired/drunk/uninspired?
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link
Oh, I've given up before. Sure.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:11 (fourteen years ago) link
Nope!
― Old Faithful (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:12 (fourteen years ago) link
On second thought Old Testament doesn't work any better than anything else. What's the threat? "Fear me, for I am turgid! If you dare to ignore me, I will fall asleep in the middle of the movie you rented." Ok, see you in the morning.
That's another thing I learned the hard way. If you find a perfect awesome woman, the one who really gets the things that you get and digs the movies that you dig, and you show her the perfect awesome movie that she has never seen before, she does not want to hear from you during it. At all. Just shut up, dude. She's watching the fucking movie. I mean, what would you be like if you'd never seen "A Touch of Evil"? You'd want people who are talking to shut the fuck up, right?
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:12 (fourteen years ago) link
I'm still bad at being "on" or "off".
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:14 (fourteen years ago) link
And there's little more annoying than someone thrashing around on your junk 'cause their self-esteem requires that you come. If I'm going down on a girl, it's 'cause it turns me on and hopefully it turns her on and even more hopefully it makes her come, but if not, no biggy, I won't take it too much to heart 'cause I will know I tried with dedication, genuine attraction, and enthusiasm. I feel that combo usually wins out anyway.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:15 (fourteen years ago) link
That's another thing I learned the hard way
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:16 (fourteen years ago) link
imo enthusiasm is what separates "good" from "great" head, much more so than technique
― there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:17 (fourteen years ago) link
I concur. Very different techniques offered with similar enthusiasm will provide very similar (and delightful) results.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:19 (fourteen years ago) link
enthusiasm is what separates good from great sex, whatever form it takes.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:20 (fourteen years ago) link
stop making sex into a pep rally, guys
wait, I just thought about that and nvrmind
― I am over wieght and I have angelical quilities (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:20 (fourteen years ago) link
HAHA
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:21 (fourteen years ago) link
Give me a B!Give me a L!Give me an O!Give me a W!Give me a J!Give me an O!Give me a B!
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:23 (fourteen years ago) link
― there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, August 6, 2009 4:17 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark
Truth bomb.
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:23 (fourteen years ago) link
pep squad vs glee club
― there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:24 (fourteen years ago) link
I prefer the pipe squad.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link
It's not just "enthusiasm", like it has to be about being as vigorous as possible. It doesn't have to look good on film or something. But as for me, nothing makes me cum as hard as someone who sincerely wants me to cum. Even a step back from that, nothing turns me on like someone who is turned on by me. There's a feedback loop that's always there if it's working, and always not quite there if it's not working, and you both know. You can have adequate sex with someone who isn't really interested in getting you off, but you can't even have GOOD sex with that person.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link
can't eveR, I meant.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:30 (fourteen years ago) link
Well put, kenan.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:31 (fourteen years ago) link
Ye lusty men of relish zeal OTM. And and and - Faith No More's "Be Aggressive" to thread.
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:35 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't think I could get off to the dulcet tones of Mike Patton -- we have too many injokes about the guy.
this is actually the central point of my thesis on gender relations, which is that ppl project their needs onto their partners and u end up w/women all tenderly makin love to your dong when u just want it to get beat the fuck up, and meanwhile dudes are all trying to jackhammer cervixes and fingerblast a broad with a hand covered in superbowl rings
the central point of my thesis on gender relations is that sex is a lot better if partners communicate to each other what they like and what they don't. I'm not sure if it was my "nice middle class upbringing" where "we don't discuss such things," but I spent too long expecting the guy to magically know the best way to do things, and if it wasn't passing muster (not mustard) then we just weren't compatible. As unsexy as the "hanging a painting" talk initially felt - "a little to the left, up a little ..." - it worked out a lot better than not communicating.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:47 (fourteen years ago) link
the central point of my thesis on gender relations is that sex is a lot better if partners communicate to each other what they like and what they don't.
ding ding ding
And what's wrong with getting hot and heavy to the strains of Squeeze Me Macaroni? I ask you...
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:48 (fourteen years ago) link
IRL M1ke P@tton is a class-A creep.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:50 (fourteen years ago) link
I'd never have guessed.
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:51 (fourteen years ago) link
Guys everyone needs to listen to "If I was your Girlfriend" by Prince & everyone wld feel better abt orgasms. Or the lack thereof in an erotic encounter.
― sadbigail (Abbott), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:56 (fourteen years ago) link
i'd blow mike patton tbh
― there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:56 (fourteen years ago) link
xp A good friend of mine dated a good friend of his. She's kind of a "hot number" in a scene where there are a lot of socially incompetent or maladjusted dudes, so she has a relatively high tolerance for creepiness, but P@tton's was apparently noteworthy - probably because he is "famous rock star dude" he felt he could get away with it.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:57 (fourteen years ago) link
<3 elmo
I kind of don't want MP to be an asshole but am not nec surprised.
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:57 (fourteen years ago) link
If I were a famous rock star dude I may very well be a creep too tbh though
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 20:58 (fourteen years ago) link
MP seems REALLY creepy but always in a sexy way, for example I always found 'Captain Midnight' by Tomahawk pretty sexy of a song.
― sadbigail (Abbott), Thursday, 6 August 2009 21:00 (fourteen years ago) link
for about a week I was extremely entertained by playing youtube clips of MP's vocals simultaneously with a clip entitled "Psychotic Singing Cat" ... they were kinda similar.
― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Thursday, 6 August 2009 21:02 (fourteen years ago) link
Mike Patton is not any kind of sexy ideal, ppl. Abbott is right. It's Prince who really gets it.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 21:03 (fourteen years ago) link