Are you good at performing oral sex?

it's ok dude...you didn't know.

no my last post was out of line, and I take it back, and I mean that.

I got all uppity an' shit.

thanks man :)

lol "pipe down"

Get a room, you two. ;)

haha "Further down!"

Okay, 'bragging', but I went down on a girl who said she couldn't come that way (and hadn't on several previous occasions with me) and, with some additional erotic utensils made her cum. I wasn't so much proud as pleased, though.

"erotic utensils" sounds like you used a spatula

some additional erotic utensils

There's just no possible way not to ask.

Ha ha! Two clues:

Aneth - biche

okay lol

http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/24054.jpg
http://www.cookies-in-motion.com/images/partyhat1.jpg

maracas.jpg will never be the same for me

(I am still back on "with the help of an egg beater and meat tenderizer, I was able to make her cum" tbh)

let us know how that works for you!

What was going on in my mind when I went after lj (which I should not have done) is that there's no right or wrong way to get somebody off, and whatever works ought to be the order of the day.

Of course, Kenan, but it's okay to want to get off one way or another, too.

with the help of an egg beater and meat tenderizer, I was able to make her cum

Worst swinger pick-up line suddenly:

You and the wife want to come by for dinner anytime? ;)

Of course, Kenan, but it's okay to want to get off one way or another, too.

No, of course! I guess I sensed some hierarchy being established, like one way of being blown is more pure or something, and I balked sort of instinctively. It sounded almost like a strange inverse of that weird male thing that's like, "Heh heh you can put the toys away baby, I got allll you need..." which I will campaign against, given the (forgive me) opening.

Cap'n Save a Vibrator

for the record I am completely tolerant of any non-harmful sexual practice, any implement, any method, and indeed I maintain an open and curious mind about experimentation; I was merely discussing the difference between dictionary-definition fellatio and what often happens in practice, and how the former can be more sublime while the latter more functional...I spoke only of a narrow sphere of erotic play and should one wish to involve implements then all's the better to be honest

plus I was just being a jerk.

So this thread dies now? That seems wrong.

Less kenan being a cockmunch, more tales of cock munch.

Maybe they all just suck at sucking

Less kenan being a cockmunch, more tales of cock munch

It's things like that which kill the thread, K. ;-)

Nothing about either puns or talking about sex on the internet bring out the best in me.

Also, remind me not to refer to myself in third person ever again. That was experimental, and boy is it creepy. Now I know.

Guys I started this thread bcz I am unilaterally terrible at it. Or at least mediocre. Only one guy even let me practice (duh how are you supposed to get better @ a thing if no one will let you practice at it?) and I did get to the finish line a couple times. We had this game of 'who can guess the title & artist of the radio song first,' you got a point for each one you got first. We were absolutely vicious at it. Anyway, one time he put on satellite radio during and one of my least favorite & long-assed songs, "Freebird," came on. This gave me incentive to finish FAST bcz then I cld quit listening to that goddamn song. Eventually he came onto his stomach and said, "Do you know what THAT is?" (how this is an erotic question I have no idea.) I said in one breath, 'freebirdbylynarydskynard!' Hardest-earned point ever.

That, friends, is a tale of... something. I'm not sure. FREEBIRD! WOO!

http://pro.corbis.com/images/42-15494938.jpg?size=572&uid=%7B614F8813-9E20-4BB3-A1BF-EBEC5BFD9C82%7D

Rolling with laughter here!

(x-post to Abbott)

Freebird seems like it might be an awesome fellatio song. Will have to try it.

Story would have been funnier if the gentleman's relish had impeded the utterance

"Freebird" seems like it would be the worst fellatio song possible.

also "gentleman's relish" is the worst semen euphemism I've ever read

good christ

LJ if you put Freebird on during any erotic activity, you are a jerkstore at erotic activities.

I agree that practice is very important when it comes to heterosexual oral sex. You don't know how the other persons genitals feel and work, because you don't have a similar set of your own, so it's pretty essential to talk about it with your partner and develop your technique. For example, I've noticed many girls tend to treat the penis a bit too gently, which can be a problem if you want to make the guy come. (Of course treating it too roughly can be a problem too.)

why do i ever click on anything

xposts But the thing about erotic activities is, they trump whatever else is going on. So if Freebird is messing up your sex, it was never going to be that great anyway.

I once put the first Captain Beyond album on repeat for a session; it worked very nicely, and it's not a million miles from LS

...but point taken. lol cankles, are these double-standards I scent? :D

kenan is mostly OTM there

For example, I've noticed many girls tend to treat the penis a bit too gently, which can be a problem if you want to make the guy come.

this is actually the central point of my thesis on gender relations, which is that ppl project their needs onto their partners and u end up w/women all tenderly makin love to your dong when u just want it to get beat the fuck up, and meanwhile dudes are all trying to jackhammer cervixes and fingerblast a broad with a hand covered in superbowl rings

women all tenderly makin love to your dong

lol

the post deserves a superbowl ring

the WHOLE post, I meant.

I think I was all right, but it's been so long I don't really remember. u_u

why do i ever click on anything

― a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Thursday, August 6, 2009 2:46 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark

THIS!!!!

But also completely otm:

For example, I've noticed many girls tend to treat the penis a bit too gently, which can be a problem if you want to make the guy come.
this is actually the central point of my thesis on gender relations, which is that ppl project their needs onto their partners and u end up w/women all tenderly makin love to your dong when u just want it to get beat the fuck up, and meanwhile dudes are all trying to jackhammer cervixes and fingerblast a broad with a hand covered in superbowl rings

― a narwhal done gored my sister nell (cankles), Thursday, August 6, 2009 2:48 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark

I think I mentioned something to that effect wrt "dudes are all trying to jackhammer cervixes and fingerblast a broad with a hand covered in superbowl rings" on the recent thread re fingering. SO DAMN TRUE.

Not doing this is learned behavior. We just don't know any damn better.

Louis pls promise me right now that you'll never again use the word "relish" to describe semen or I'll I'm SBing the shit out of you.

x-post - Yeah I mean it's understandable with teenage guys but I'm pretty sure it's something that a lot of guys never quite figure out.

Hahaha, last chick I was with, I jokingly referred to it as 'glee' (think it was some sort of gchat-related lol taken into the IRLsphere). But this is all well beyond the pale. You have my word.