It might make her bite down. (xxp)
― Hugh Manatee (WmC), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah, that would NOT be optimal
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 14:54 (fourteen years ago) link
oh god
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:04 (fourteen years ago) link
Now I've got "everybody loves a little headman" stuck in my head and I've been trying all afternoon to get it out.
I don't think I've ever dated a man who didn't somehow believe he was AMAZING INCREDIBLE A#1 at head. And refused to accept the fact that I didn't like it. They'd be all "oh no, you'll LOVE it the way I do it" and then you have to go through the ignomy of trying to figure out... OK, wow, will they be really upset if I tell them that nope, still don't enjoy it - or should I lie and say it's great, which will save their ego, but it means I'll have to put up with that awful horrible snuffling around down there for the rest of the relationship...
Christ. This makes me so not miss sex at all.
― seni seviyorum / senden nefret ediyorum (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:05 (fourteen years ago) link
haha I believe you, Kate. Frankly, I don't go crazy for blowjobs myself, even though I've had all kinds, both ineffective and extremely effective. Whatever, I'd rather have more time and more full-body contact than just a blown load and a nap. I understand from what I hear that this puts me in somewhat of a minority.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:17 (fourteen years ago) link
Wow I am normally not at all shy when it comes to TMI stuff but let's just say I really appreciate the wise poster who logged out before posting on this particular thread.
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:18 (fourteen years ago) link
That doesn't mean I won't keep reading of course.
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:19 (fourteen years ago) link
So will I. Someone else say something. It's not my turn anymore.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:21 (fourteen years ago) link
Does that mean you appreciate them because you can identify with their position? xp
I only rarely come from oral, fact fans. Normally there has to be a whole lot of manual action augmenting it. Only truly out-of-this-world oral gets me off, but it's worth it when it happens. Otherwise it's just like wanking (or being wanked) into their mouth and while this is usually still hot'n'happening for both parties, it's not proper fellatio.
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:24 (fourteen years ago) link
This is probably tmi, too, but even if a girl couldn't come from getting head, I'd probably ask her if I could give her some anyway. No cunnilingus would be a bit of a deal breaker for me.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:25 (fourteen years ago) link
Louis - ┐('~`;)┌
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:32 (fourteen years ago) link
Mwhite OTM
― Fetchboy, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:35 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't want to brag
Whereas I totally do.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White)
me too.
― where we turn sweet dreams into remarkable realities (just1n3), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Louis, I think "it's just like wanking (or being wanked) into their mouth" pretty much describes what a blowjob is. What did you think it was? Was it like, "Look ma, no hands!" and bobbing up and down on your dick like a penguin or something? No, that doesn't work for anyone.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:40 (fourteen years ago) link
It has actually worked, once. I'm talking about when the hand motions (mine or theirs) are so vigorous they completely outshine the oral aspects. When it's largely the mouth bringing pleasure, a rare delight is discovered.
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:44 (fourteen years ago) link
If you think there's a right and a wrong way to cum... well, what can one say? Stop thinking that.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:46 (fourteen years ago) link
It's not a right or a wrong way, just that one feels a bit more organic and natural not to mention pleasurable during the actual act rather than the fruition anyway gah I am no longer in the mood, enough
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:48 (fourteen years ago) link
You're full of shit, is the problem here
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:48 (fourteen years ago) link
Speak for yourself
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:49 (fourteen years ago) link
DUDE I said it was 'still hot'n'happening', and if it's what does it then fine but SERIOUSLY I am no longer in the mood for any of this, please pipe down
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:50 (fourteen years ago) link
Ah ok fair enough
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:51 (fourteen years ago) link
I am probably not very good at all at performing oral sex on men. I'd like to think I would be by default, but without field testing, that's just something I like to think.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:55 (fourteen years ago) link
Sorry, lj. You're not half as full of shit as I am. I feel bad now.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:58 (fourteen years ago) link
it's ok dude...you didn't know.
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:01 (fourteen years ago) link
no my last post was out of line, and I take it back, and I mean that.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:03 (fourteen years ago) link
I got all uppity an' shit.
thanks man :)
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link
lol "pipe down"
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link
Get a room, you two. ;)
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link
haha "Further down!"
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:05 (fourteen years ago) link
Okay, 'bragging', but I went down on a girl who said she couldn't come that way (and hadn't on several previous occasions with me) and, with some additional erotic utensils made her cum. I wasn't so much proud as pleased, though.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:05 (fourteen years ago) link
"erotic utensils" sounds like you used a spatula
― I am over wieght and I have angelical quilities (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:06 (fourteen years ago) link
some additional erotic utensils
There's just no possible way not to ask.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:07 (fourteen years ago) link
Ha ha! Two clues:
Aneth - biche
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:15 (fourteen years ago) link
okay lol
― I am over wieght and I have angelical quilities (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:17 (fourteen years ago) link
http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/24054.jpghttp://www.cookies-in-motion.com/images/partyhat1.jpg
― Results 1 - 1 of 1 for vedderizer. (0.05 seconds) ;_; (jjjusten), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:18 (fourteen years ago) link
maracas.jpg will never be the same for me
― Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:19 (fourteen years ago) link
(I am still back on "with the help of an egg beater and meat tenderizer, I was able to make her cum" tbh)
― I am over wieght and I have angelical quilities (HI DERE), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:19 (fourteen years ago) link
let us know how that works for you!
― Results 1 - 1 of 1 for vedderizer. (0.05 seconds) ;_; (jjjusten), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:21 (fourteen years ago) link
What was going on in my mind when I went after lj (which I should not have done) is that there's no right or wrong way to get somebody off, and whatever works ought to be the order of the day.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:22 (fourteen years ago) link
Of course, Kenan, but it's okay to want to get off one way or another, too.
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:29 (fourteen years ago) link
with the help of an egg beater and meat tenderizer, I was able to make her cum
Worst swinger pick-up line suddenly:
You and the wife want to come by for dinner anytime? ;)
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:30 (fourteen years ago) link
No, of course! I guess I sensed some hierarchy being established, like one way of being blown is more pure or something, and I balked sort of instinctively. It sounded almost like a strange inverse of that weird male thing that's like, "Heh heh you can put the toys away baby, I got allll you need..." which I will campaign against, given the (forgive me) opening.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:42 (fourteen years ago) link
Cap'n Save a Vibrator
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:43 (fourteen years ago) link
for the record I am completely tolerant of any non-harmful sexual practice, any implement, any method, and indeed I maintain an open and curious mind about experimentation; I was merely discussing the difference between dictionary-definition fellatio and what often happens in practice, and how the former can be more sublime while the latter more functional...I spoke only of a narrow sphere of erotic play and should one wish to involve implements then all's the better to be honest
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:47 (fourteen years ago) link
plus I was just being a jerk.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 16:51 (fourteen years ago) link
So this thread dies now? That seems wrong.
Less kenan being a cockmunch, more tales of cock munch.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 17:50 (fourteen years ago) link
Maybe they all just suck at sucking
― Le présent se dégrade, d'abord en histoire, puis en (Michael White), Thursday, 6 August 2009 18:00 (fourteen years ago) link
Less kenan being a cockmunch, more tales of cock munch
It's things like that which kill the thread, K. ;-)
― ENBB, Thursday, 6 August 2009 18:21 (fourteen years ago) link
Nothing about either puns or talking about sex on the internet bring out the best in me.
Also, remind me not to refer to myself in third person ever again. That was experimental, and boy is it creepy. Now I know.
― Black bread and Victory gin AGAIN? (kenan), Thursday, 6 August 2009 18:32 (fourteen years ago) link
i don't feel like it's that hard to get a girl off fwiw; like, okay here's the clit, toss around a couple tongue/mouth variables etc and before you know it you've got ladyjuice dripping out yr beard
― don't try to church it up (nickalicious), Saturday, 8 August 2009 13:52 (fourteen years ago) link
to be fair though i was terrible at it before i went out with a girl who was sort of a bitch about it until i started getting it right
― don't try to church it up (nickalicious), Saturday, 8 August 2009 13:55 (fourteen years ago) link
Ha, these results. ILX: cocky and underconfident.
― chillbigail ate a chill banana (Abbott), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 00:50 (fourteen years ago) link
If the "instructional" video I saw the other day is any indication, not anywhere near as good as I'd thought...
― Hi, there you're being haunted! Dont you notice it? (Deric W. Haircare), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 00:58 (fourteen years ago) link
wow lou jag KILLED it itt.
― wishes to be referred under the pseudonym of kronos (call all destroyer), Tuesday, 11 August 2009 01:09 (fourteen years ago) link
Wait, I thought this was about performance art...
― Et Dieu crea l' (Michael White), Sunday, 20 September 2020 14:28 (three years ago) link
"ILX: Cocky and Underconfident" needs to be a board description.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 20 September 2020 16:16 (three years ago) link
superbowl rings
― ... (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 18:32 (three years ago) link
like a basketball player
― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 18:37 (three years ago) link
As a hitherto exclusively cunnilingual head-giver I feel uncomfortable answering this poll. Certainly my experiences have been good, but I feel I'd need to bite schlong before an accurate self-assessment could form. I shall have to assume my attributes are transferable.
― hello you are very gnocchi i would like taco you in the (country matters), Monday, August 3, 2009 4:11 PM (eleven years ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Politically homely (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:38 (three years ago) link
yeah I already FP'd whoever wrote that
― imago, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:41 (three years ago) link
i'm pretty good. my boyfriend has a small mouth but as long as he sticks to the tip of my penis (which is massive) he's ok. great butt though.
― cosmic vision | bleak epiphany | erotic email (map), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:43 (three years ago) link
the sheer quantity of flex itp is almost admirable tbh
― imago, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:48 (three years ago) link
I was good at it in the before times when I was having sex.
aka the Obama era
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:49 (three years ago) link
oh this is the thread with the hilarious penguin post
― sarahell, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:50 (three years ago) link
prompted by:
I only rarely come from oral, fact fans. Normally there has to be a whole lot of manual action augmenting it. Only truly out-of-this-world oral gets me off, but it's worth it when it happens. Otherwise it's just like wanking (or being wanked) into their mouth and while this is usually still hot'n'happening for both parties, it's not proper fellatio.― cockles (country matters), Thursday, August 6, 2009 8:24 AM (eleven years ago)
― cockles (country matters), Thursday, August 6, 2009 8:24 AM (eleven years ago)
― sarahell, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:53 (three years ago) link
The sexiest form of oral is a good conversation imo
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:56 (three years ago) link