RIP David Brooks

David Brooks, who left his wife for a 23-year-old, is lecturing people about morality again.

These revives are cruel.

That column feels like such a rehash. "Let me tell try another story on you," one that I've been telling in various forms for 25 years. Bobos go to Harvard and order mortadella, etc.

Recently I have been kept awake at night by the question of which man I would choose as my stranded-on-a-desert-island companion: Tucker Carlson, Adam Gopnik, or David Brooks.

Answer: walk into the ocean, wait for sharks.

LOL

What if death is not an option?

I mean we should probably poll this, right?

Who would be easiest to kill and eat? Probably Brooks.

Very fatty, though.

Brooks would be easiest to kill but Carlson's flesh would be more tender. Like a soft pork chop.

sundried balls might be better tasting too

nah tried'em once

Back in the early '00s when Sound Opinions had a message board, they had this thread that was always at the top titled "Chris Cornell, R.I.P." - stayed there until the board went under around 2010. I totally forgot about it for a while, and years later when I heard Cornell passed away, I remember thinking, "this is really weird, but why do I feel like this is a tasteless joke?" Took like a few days before I remembered that thread.

David Brooks death watch

That column feels like such a rehash. "Let me tell try another story on you," one that I've been telling in various forms for 25 years.

It is pretty much a summary of points he's been making over and over, and it basically leaves us where we started, with no real idea of how the Democrats should change tack to try to appeal to these disaffected voters.

Brooks’ aversion to ever mentioning racism is comical. “Why are all these white men sticking with Donald Trump? What could it be?”

[insert pondering emoji]

He mentions it and acknowledges that it's a factor, but thinks its too self-serving for the liberal elite to blame losing the middle-class entirely on racism.

"Many Republicans support Trump no matter what, according to this story, because at the end of the day, he's still the bigot in chief, the embodiment of their resentments and that's what matters to them most.

I partly agree with this story, but it's also a monument to elite self-satisfaction."

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/52/John_Vernon.JPG

Greedy, mean, racist, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

"Let me tell try another story on you," one that I've been telling in various forms for 25 years.

absolutely no one can write 1500 worthwhile words every week for 25 years, let alone a damp nilla wafer like brooks. these jobs should not be lifetime sinecures like 'supreme court justice'

Even Hunter Thompson did a lot of recycling.

He's really going for a most-stupidity-in-one-month record here — right after that last terrible column he has 6,000 words in The Atlantic on why America is so mean now. (Spoiler alert: We don't teach good morals. Like they did in the olden days. When people were more moral and definitely treated each other better.)

When everyone had a sense of belonging. Everyone knew where they belonged.

A delightful tidbit dropped just now on Bluesky about Brooks and his child bride:

My best celebrity sighting is the time I saw both of them at a fancy restaurant and he put his laptop on the table and ignored her the whole time

yo is it true that david brooks got sonned in a beef with smokehouse restaurant in newark airport terminal a

Truly amazing. Elvis Telecom just posted this on Bluesky:

I was passing through EWR when all that was going on. Probably should have live-posted but goddamn airports are full of crabby boomer men who play with their food when they drink too much. CBGBs inside terminal C is like a catch basin for them.

Hwe also tried claiming that a double scotch and hamburger cost him $78 or whatever.

The ownage:

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=pfbid0SvW2RZCfWdgxVAVAZ17tQ8uebnTzLeiRpQDkC4FMHphog2XaR6tjc8avZf6hmaaxl&id=100063580360247

a voice for the workin' man

#Legend pic.twitter.com/3wwPUGvlR4

— Bradley P. Moss (@BradMossEsq) September 22, 2023

Say what you want about old man Brooks, he can still teach these young whippersnappers a thing or two about drumming up tweet engagement.

can we talk about how he pulled all the toppings off the burger

ahahahhaa okay the smokehouse's response is very very funny. this right here is a proper clowning

xp I noticed that as well. Why not just order a plain burger?

😂

There are so many better ways he could’ve tried to make this point, even without the booze

Well, hew could just die.

It would be his first ever contribution to humanity.

every kinder & gentler "reasonable" t.v. republican can go fuck themselves. i can't stand seeing them at all anywhere. that goes for that smug fuckhead chris sununu too. and chris christie. and all of them. jesus they are all so terrible how can they ALL be terrible...?????????

(my dad watches a lot of cable news. i get to hear every single question answered on cable news with the word: "Look...." "Look, here's where Trump is right now..." "Look, here's the real deal from me a former White House lawyer..." "Look, at the end of the day..." you could have one hell of a drinking game watching CNN.)

Double scotches at a Newart airport bar even!

Double scotches on the Times' dime.

Anxious Bo-Bo

jesus they are all so terrible how can they ALL be terrible...?????????

Centrist scolds, the Brookses, the McArdles, the Yglesiases, they speak with such authority for people who have never been right about a single fucking thing and keep getting shown their own ass in Technicolor.

— steve albini (@electricalWSOP) September 22, 2023

The Brookses, the McArdles, the Yglesiases

new Game of Thrones spin-off sounds bad

Game of Choads

good rundown of all the ways david brooks has been weird about restaurants:
https://maxread.substack.com/p/what-is-it-with-david-brooks-and

I think my man is just toasted

The official NJ Twitter account has come for him now:

Hey @nytdavidbrooks, here’s what $78 at Smoke House actually looks like 😉

(ordered at their Trenton location) pic.twitter.com/2UgFlIvSPJ

— New Jersey (@NJGov) September 22, 2023

It would be a start, now play out the logic and stop writing, period:

>> @nytdavidbrooks: "I screwed up. I should not have written that tweet. I probably should not write any tweets." #NeverTweet pic.twitter.com/NECpWRA1pG

— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) September 23, 2023

So it was my mom's birthday, and I was feeling sappy, so I sent my mom this really sweet email in which I thanked her for instilling in me a lifelong love of learning.

Her response started out "That's funny. I am reading this book by David Brooks who spends a lot of time talking about how to know other people in today's divided world..."

Well, I'll talk to her again next year.