DOGS

woof otm

Argh, everyone stop, you're making me miss my dog, even though I still have dogs.

I was digging around in a bunch of old bookmarks and found this. Magnificent images.

https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/bigpicture/2016/03/15/iditarod-trail-sled-dog-race/8Me5cEOCaPVFMN5fVLn8JN/story.html

I had an odd dog encounter last week. The new neighbour a couple of doors up has two dogs that she leaves at home all day while she's out at work, but she leaves the upstairs windows open a bit so that they can both look out. One is an old labrador-type thing, the other is a rottweiler, and they spend all day long just barking and barking at the slightest provocation, like a seagull farts three streets away and they just go crazy, woofing and yelping and growling. Obviously it's been all over the street whatsapp, you could imagine. Anyhow we've had the guys from the water company replacing people's meters over a few days and that's just made these rogues go absolutely crackers. So I get out of my van one lunchtime, and these two poor engineer lads are on their hands and knees on the pavement, sheepishly trying to work, while above their heads there's this big black rottweiler leaning right out of the bedroom window fiercely barking away like a lunatic and I want to stop and take a photo of it silhouetted against the window frame while up above its head the sky is all stormy and dark from all this rain we've been having - I swear it's a sight straight out of a horror film - but I dont want to provoke it any further so I just keep walking and not making eye contact. But the guy coming along behind me is obviously not so cautious, he stops and starts talking to it, and then I hear a yell and I turn round to see this dog fucking leaping out of the upstairs window at him, a dark shape hurtling past the pale sun, then it lands on the front path and starts charging up and down the road snarling at everyone, obviously a bit shocked by it's fall from the skies but still seemingly in a fighting mood. The water guys just drop their everything and jump straight in their van. Me and this other guy are just left looking at each other wide-eyed and I briefly have visions of carnage flashing thru my mind - we live a few doors up from a school and I'm just thinking of this dog rampaging about with bloodied children in its mouth as a SWAT team leap out of a helicopter to take it out. And then I just snap straight into this instinctive response mode - and i run straight into my house and send my wife out to deal with it instead. And she just walks up to it calmly while talking gently to it, and this previously furious dog meekly turns around and walks back to its own house and scratches at the front door with a whimper, asking to be let back inside (my wife then has to sit there for 30 minutes with it until the owner comes home, while I valiantly make her a cup of tea; the dog is actually quite nice, she's called Doris or something iirc)

I take my hat off to this acrobatic rottweiler, sounds like a lovely dog.

Not sure whether or not her icarus-esque flight will have put her off future attempts or if its just going to encourage her

I reckon the landing might have hurt a bit, even if she wasn't visibly injured.

She had a bit of a grazed and bloody chin so I think the front legs must've collapsed a bit on impact

my mum brought me a fancy farm shop steak pie today. She says these pies are incredible and made with lard and no artificial additives or preservatives. I thought great - having a day off cooking will be nice. I was about to put it in the oven and then my dog started barking and I went to see if someone was at the door. It was a leafleter and the prick had left the gate open. I went out to shut the gate. And then when I got back into the kitchen there was an empty space where there previously was a pie :(

Congratulations, it’s a Labrador retriever.

where's L'Rain when you need her

he's sleeping like a log now - tough work is retrieving. Also there was probably enough pie there to feed 3 humans, it was big!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0ZsMG48C7Y

there is something truly hilarious about seeing a dog during a very naughty feeding frenzy, classic really.

the pure helpless disgrace of it

A couple of weeks ago Widget broke in to a kitchen cupboard and liberated a big bag of pine kernels. It was a caterer’s pack with 350g left in it. Which he ate.

For the next 24 hours, he crapped nothing else but undigested pine kernels. He keeps trying to revisit the crime scene because surely there must be another bag in there? DOG LOGIC.

also DOG LOGIC. When Douglas was a randy young buck and had a close encounter with a bitch in season on a lead, the owners explained she's in season so I got him back on the lead and he took some dragging away. Then for months afterwards whenever we got to the same spot, he'd start ignoring me more than usual and run off - because obv his gf was still there waiting for him.

I don't want to talk about the time my boy ate a nearly full 400g tub of lurpak spreadable, no point trying to use a poop bag when only a shovel will do the job.

Congratulations, it’s a Labrador retriever.

ROFL

T/S: Two dogs vs. one Dog? I'm getting the crazy itch to welcome another to the family

we love our second addition but he is a little shit and so much more to handle but he loves our older dog and she loves him so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

I have come around to having the Black Lab as our second dog. He thinks I am his best friend, and, well, it's hard not to accept that role. I took him on a six-mile hike last weekend, he was great. I need to do that more often.

Two dogs end up being less important to each other than two cats IME. The dogs still mostly care about the humans and being part of that group, they don't really fuck off and occupy themselves together.

i'm only gonna say this once, unless you don't listen, in which case i might say it a few more times, assuming i haven't lost interest and moved on by then

in fact my interest is already fading, fuck. i'd better say it already.

well now i don't remember exactly what i was going to say. it was probably very clever -- irrefutable even -- and relating to how getting a dog is never the answer, because dogs smell bad and are needy. and they are *loud*, have you considered that? also they kill people. in conclusion, do not get a dog. thank you for your compliance in this matter.

aaaagh I hit my baby boo with the throw ball today, she yelped in pain and there was a great deal of apologizing

fortunately after a beer at the local where she got to flirt with strangers, all was well and the chase was on again

getting a dog is never the answer, because dogs smell bad and are needy. and they are *loud*, have you considered that? also they kill people. in conclusion, do not get a dog. thank you for your compliance in this matter.

Yes, but also have you considered this?

https://i.postimg.cc/G2NbD7zz/20240201-074951.jpg

Good to hear from cat on the subject of dogs.

If it's mine posting from the other room: It's not happening Bear, you're going to have to learn to live with her

Pony>cat>>dog

ponies sound cool but they cannot sit on my chest and purr while rubbing chins with me

or at least i assume so

Probably no to sit and purr, but rubbing chins definitely a possibility

Which breed is First Dog?

Biased but I always suggest a whippet - mine is currently sitting next to me on the sofa, and because I’m eating toast, there’s a paw resting on my lap to remind me to tithe. They are great dogs but terrible land shark puppies who will need redirection to toys all the time, but they are sociable and whenever you meet another sighthound on walks, keen to play with a fellow member of the pointy Borg.

Two dogs end up being less important to each other than two cats IME.

I think this depends on the individuals. For two well-adjusted dogs, this is usually true. They like to have dog buddies, but they NEED you. otoh, we have had dogs through here who couldn't have coped with being the only dog in the house, and who definitely needed a more confident dog to take cues from at all times. Our dog Cody would freak out if you separated him from Milo for any length of time, for example.

For us, the optimal number of dogs proves to be three. Manageable, and when one dies, nobody is left on their own. Plus you sidestep that whole "I could never get another dog" thing you get when one dog dies and leaves you with an empty house. Note: we are a small-dog house.

xp idk, i’ve heard some tales of whippets being awfully naughty (from you!)

i know there's a lot of confusion on this issue, a lot of misunderstanding, propaganda, fake news, astroturfing by Big Dog, and so on. the failing dog industry has stooped to ever more outrageous lies in its desperate attempt to cling to relevance in a world where more and more people are coming to realize that dogs just don't make good pets, and i can't blame anyone who is still in thrall to this illusion. but if you look in your heart, H.P, i know you'll find the truth. (which is that you need more cats + fewer dogs) (i am not Bear btw) (but you should listen to Bear)

Cats look really ridiculous and inept when they are running. Not that it isn't amusing and even quite charming watching them doing this in short bursts. The bottom line is though, they are absolutely useless as hiking buddies and their only trick is killing anything that is smaller than them - which served them well in the early agricultural era. I want a happy clown in my house not a serial killer who leaves mouse intestines on the doorstep!

dogs smell bad and are needy

lol my dog has never come into my bedroom demanding food in the middle of the night or sat on my head or jumped onto a bookshelf and knocked off a plant or all the other incredibly annoying things that cats do so idk what you're talking about

The naughtiness is part of the Whippet’s charm. They do seem to grow out of it eventually, though.

Whatever puppy you get, you’ll be aware that they meet the world mouth-first for the most part, and gleefully select wrong things to chew on when they are teething. Aside from training, your One Job is to keep the wrong things from getting into their mouths. I persisted with Widget, so now he only has to be told the word TOY and he’ll go get the first one he sees, then bring it to me.

Widget is also an expert hoverer. He will stand just outside arm’s length and STARE when your attention is required.

Cats are assholes.

Two dogs is great but it's a lot of work and makes things like going away more difficult than with just one. That's the only downside ime.

Xps first is a swiss shepherd and we would he looking at getting the same. Peach took me through the ringer in her puppy years so I know what I'm getting myself into there. There's a few bad habits I'd like to train out of her before we potentially get another that could pick them up. I've let her get away with some subpar recall because she's too loyal and smart to ever let herself get too fat away from us (she'll never leave eyesight or earshot). She comes when called, but slightly on her terms, making sure she's sniffed the tree to the full extent first unless I start walking more than 20m away.

I'd take more cats too cat! Still working towards purchasing that big property out in the hinterlands with 6 dogs and 12 cats able to roam freely. I'll report back in a couple decades.

Yeah the going away part is tough. There is the potential of moving cities in the new future too. I think it was just peach's smile that hypnotised me to the idea this morning. Effect has slightly worn off now. We'll definitely end up getting two, just have to wait to see whether we move or not, maybe a next year thing

fyi the ipcc's latest report lists dog farts among the developed world's top 3 sources of atmospheric methane, with each dog fart the equivalent of burning a brazil's worth of the amazon rainforest. i sure wouldn't want something like that on my conscience!

unrelatedly, cats happen to be at the forefront of research in physics & biology, which may appear to the layperson like randomly knocking things off shelves or wanton mouse murder but is in fact part of a much larger secret project which ultimately will benefit all life on earth and will probably make some naysayers feel very silly once all has been revealed

were you aware that ethicists have determined that dogs have no honor? it's true, look it up

an informal survey found that 100% of dogs have wondered what your flesh would taste like

A personal survey finds my cats tasting my flesh most days (it's fine though, mostly consensual)

they are checking your blood glucose levels why because they ♥️ you

cats are fine but dogs are the best

cat was finally bored hissing at the dogs and you had to poke it again

there is speculation that the whole "dog" gimmick is nothing more than a long con perpetrated by wolves to bend humanity to their will. now, i don't claim to be a wolf scientist but any reasonable person must admit that this is almost certainly correct.

says the descendant of lions