Cricket

Trying to attack the short stuff?

Falling into the leg theory trap aye. Four wickets and counting (five if you count Root getting out twice).

not great shot selection but batters are allowed to make mistakes on occasion, particularly JE Root. Stokes seems to be calming things down now.

If England carry on like this I'll be back supporting them before the end of the series.

I'm thinking we should go back to not talking about men's mental health

where to even start with all this

that Bairstow incident certainly got them going!

*frantically checking Robinson and Tongue's first-class batting records*

I knew I should have put a tenner on England an hour or so ago when they were almost double figures to win this test

it seems Broad has been caught on the stump mic calling them 'Same old cheating Aussies'

Fucking hell, this is crazy.

Just need an Anderson half century now to win it.

I put a pish £3 bet on England when they were 20/1 just in case there is another plot twist on the cards today

and that's why I never make any profit from cricket betting!

Hopefully this will put at end to this chummy shite between the two teams and they will go back to hating each other, as they should.

Cummins' unapologetic presser will increase the hatred and booing at Headingly, stoked for it.

I'd expected nothing less from an Aussie captain.

stuart broad of all people getting the hump about 'spirit of the game' is frankly hilarious.

It's weird listening on the radio because you react to the crowd noise and can only 'see' what the commentators direct you towards. Which is to say, it felt wrong at the time and I've had a horrible feeling in my guts about it all afternoon. Having seen the footage and listened to a bunch of people who know what they're talking about, Bairstow was out and should 100% know better, given it's a tactic he's used himself over the years. None of which is going to stop it from getting (uglier, given what happened in the ground and, particularly, in the long room). Headingley is going to be even more of a bear pit than usual.

Honestly, those fuckwit members in the long room. You would do more for the 'spirit of the game' if you staked them all out, covered them in bacon and left them to the wasps and herring gulls.

seeing as the series is done as a competition then extreme levels of spite are just what it needs

and that's why I never make any profit from cricket betting!

I am frantically trying to find a way to bet on Ben Stokes getting dismissed by Mankad at Headingley.

Anyway, this is all very funny and highly amusing.

I couldn't find any odds on the England team plumbing new depths of the victim playing British "fair play" delusion.

still don't know why Australia are getting booed, what have they done wrong?

To Johnny Bairstow too, hero of right wing wankers everywhere.

Gotta laugh. No spinners, dropped catches, crazy hour shot selection. Quite a philosophy!

if they don't win this one, don't throw Bazball in the bin but maybe consider a few of the batsmen

if you took Stokes considerable batting contribution out of the Bazball equation for this Ashes it would just look like an abandonment of tactics and all focus would be on some of the careless braindead ways the rest of them cheaply gift wickets to the Aussies. But it has been a lot of fun!

crawling towards Bazlam

I knew all the heckling would pay off

we just need another champion spell leading into Old Trafford

and to drop Bairstow

bairstow does need to go. v strange test, those first two innings entirely wrapped around two batsmen and a couple of maurahding bowlers.

I was expecting rain this afternoon, both the MET office and BBC weather got it wrong. Bairstow has been useless, his only indirect contribution was that the confected sense of injustice around his idiotic stumping seemed to have the knock on effect of wakening the beast in Stokes.

that was an intense last 100-ish runs to watch live, i have a ton of thoughts about the distraction that is Bazball but not now. Bairstow is screaming to be dropped by almost any metric

frankly just looking forward to McGrath having to switch his shtick to "4-1"

There's roughly 0% chance of them dropping Bairstow. They should, at the very least, take the gloves off him. I think tbf with regards to the wicketkeeping stuff, he's not kept for about 3 years and to be chucked in like this is pretty unforgiving.

absolutely agree, he's a talisman ffs. that might say something about whether the current regime is about winning or about something else, but that's not new to England either

lots of TMS chat this week has been about relieving him of the awful burden of having to be a functional wickie but that just amplifies my sense of special pleading

I think he did enough last summer for him to get the benefit of the doubt tbh. Not with the gloves tho.

His batting average while keeping is woeful.

youse won't drop Bairstow like we won't drop Warner so it'll all equal out

blaze em

Adam Zampa's setup for the first Major League Cricket game. 10/10, no notes. pic.twitter.com/9bTiINzwbS

— 7Cricket (@7Cricket) July 14, 2023

I know nothing about cricket but I’m pissed I didn’t think of that screen name first!

Where is your 'Bazball morelike shiteball' now lads

I had a specific point which was nuanced and the concept of Bazball is ugh on purpose

However, it's been a good day I've been able to sit and watch for a change and the main thrill is watching England playing against the weekend's potential weather

When Bazball beats the English weather then talk to me.

Bazball is the enemy of thought is my big ish

I can barely believe this is happening. Someone on 5 live just said England haven't been 300+ for 2 in a match against the Aussies since 1985.

When Bazball beats the English weather then talk to me.

Or wins the Ashes.