Real love -- I'm, like, searchin' for that Queer Love -- LGBTQIA+ Love // A Thread for the Real Ones

My facebook memories for today reminded me that thirteen years ago, I wrote this:'
"RAINBOW FLAGS ARE STILL FLAGS. GET THOSE LIGHTERS STARTED."

ahh, memories...

♥️

feel better, map!

:) thank you

i remember that actually, in June 2015 everyone had that pride flag filter thingy on their facebook profile pic and it sickened me and i posted a rant about how pride flags had always made me feel that i should not expect to be welcomed or tolerated except by special invitation, that i should expect to be persecuted and that displaying it felt like a self-congratulatory gesture, hashtag #godhatesflags (ughh)

it bewildered lots of folks and upset a few, in particular younger friends. my attitude has changed only somewhat but i'm able to see the flag in some contexts as honoring the struggles of others who have faced more extreme and more violent bigotry than i have.

i deleted my fb a few months after that anyhow.

reminds me of when gay marriage was legalized in the US and it led to me and my husband (then bf) getting into a fight about queer anti-assimilation politics stuff, and also not picking up the phone when my mom called me happy about the news because i couldn’t bear to have any more conversations about it. mid-2010s was a weird time.

In my neck of the UK woods, the rainbow flag has been almost entirely replaced by the Pride Progress flag, which I like a lot more design-wise, as it conveys its message in quite a clever way, and gives new context to the continuing presence of the old rainbow. (Hmm, not a very elegant sentence, but let it stand.)

Rolling Stone ranks The 50 Most Inspirational LGBTQ Songs of All Time:

#48 Kelly Clarkson, "Stronger"
#40 Ariana Grande f/ Zedd, "Break Free"
#22 Beyoncé, "Break My Soul"
#14 Mariah Carey, "Hero"
#3 Katy Perry, "Firework"

Full list ⬇️https://t.co/3NhlIG4MX9

— Rolling Stone (@RollingStone) June 28, 2023

Hm, I think we can do better. 1. Huggy Bear “Pansy Twist”

Nah 1 is Yummy Fur "Plastic Cowboy"

idk i don't like lists i'll stfu now

No Carl Bean and no Sylvester is just … very Rolling Stone

Macklemore…? That list is very Hitler

Our Calgary office had a Pride event yesterday and, in advance of it, one of the coordinators sent out a chart of pride flags which was maybe a little too comprehensive for the workplace? Like, I don’t think all your coworkers need to know that the patch on your backpack means you’re really into latex and rubber, but maybe that’s just me.

It’s just very funny to me that corporate D&I measures include ostentatiously celebrating kink in the workplace

Ooo the leather flag is very chic

Why does Philadelphia have its own rainbowflag design?

Also lol at one chart I saw on Etsy that just had a pink triangle and it’s labelled “triangle”. That’s me! I am triangle

lmao I endorse this, we are all triangle now

The Philadelphia flag was the precursor that led to the inclusive pride flag; I remember going “oh that’s nice” after it came out and then watching with unsurprised horror as a significant number of the white gay men in my Facebook feed bent over backwards mocking and decrying it, which IMO cemented the need for its existence

Yeah, I've been secretly enjoying just how much the newly added stripes draw out the toxicity in some of our ostensible peers

Ah I just read a primer. Seems the history of the Pride flag is too meaningful to just replace with leopard print. I still am triangle-identified tho, at least until they make an “I am furniture” flag

can we just show buggery on the Pride flag

Who are you, Joan Plowright?

https://i.imgur.com/3M7wYy1.gif

Hm, I think we can do better. 1. Huggy Bear “Pansy Twist”

Fun true fact: the third Mrs. Olivier is my second cousin. (She’s the one who put a stop to Larry’s buggerish weekends, allegedly)

And but yes to Pansy Twist, I always am listening to that song. One of the few 7”s I’ll never ever sell

my makeoutclub handle was pansytwist for a hot minute lol

Macklemore…? That list is very Hitler

Ah, that moment when, after a night of the hottest sex imaginable with the hottest guy imaginable, the likes of which you’ve not had in over a decade, you both have an out of the blue blip of sudden shyness and don’t exchange numbers. Stupid, because I know we were both up for a rematch. (Also, I was earworming the chorus of Call Me Maybe for most of yesterday, so it’s not as if the words were far from my lips.)

awwww

maybe I can find him for you

He goes out a lot in the Manchester village, and we’d met and flirted before, about six weeks ago. Then he turns up at the same place last night (Eagle), leather jacket open over bare chest (I feel I have to mention this), remembers everything we talked about before, super keen. I have Eagle weekends away every few weeks, so there is ample hope for a re-meet.

wow mike. a hot missed connection! i'm glad you shared the leather detail.

so all of a sudden a very handsome sicilian fella has supercharged our sex life. speaking of hottest sex imaginable. lots of fantasy checkboxes marked for me lately.

dang mike, hope you guys reconnect!

watch out for those fiery sicilians ;)

fucked up my back doing deadlifts yesterday, don't think any strenuous activity is in the cards for me anytime soon

ugh ouch dr, i'm sorry to hear that - hope it heals quickly.

and yes those fiery sicilians are ones to watch ;)

HE IS HERE! WE ARE MAKING OUT! I CANT EVEN!

He was looking for me as well. This is romcom territory.

🙌

Posted with his consent btw. He was amused.

lol, hi mike's sexy dude!

woof - from some rando on the other side of the world

love a happy ending (ahem)!!!

Turns out he’s a break dancer. I’ve seen videos. This keeps getting better.

any updates mike?

i'm pretty sure my bronchitis was chlamydia pneumoniae from the sex party

hi from my couch

Oh, I have updates. If Friday night was Pornhub and Saturday night was a romcom, then Sunday was a cross between Trainspotting and A Beautiful Mind. He invited me back to his place. It was a shithole. There were cameras. I think I was being set up to be filmed. That didn’t happen. I was told a load of crazy bullshit, which I was later able to disprove. He’s now blocked.

oh fuck, i'm so sorry. thought this was a fairytale unfolding before our eyes.

ugh mike that's awful, i'm sorry.

The full-length version of the story would have your jaws on the floor, but it's way too complex to summarise, and probably best not posted on the internet anyway. Jeez, I can pick 'em. Anyhow, I had two nights of super-hot fun before the plot twist, and the slow reveal that all was not what it seemed. They can't take that away from me!

super relatable mike... i feel bad about talking about some of the really fucked up shit i've seen and been through, even though at the same time i kind of feel like i need to. because it's like holy fuck did that actually happen? what the fuck did i do that they did and said _that_? so i guess all i'll say is that people who are fucked up like that, a lot of times it's hard to tell, they can mask pretty well. so it's not necessarily a reflection on you.

Thanks, Kate: a useful observation on the masking. People-reading is usually one of my stronger skills, so this all came right out of leftfield on the Sunday. He was super-chill until I arrived at his front door, but really stressed and agitated after that. He also told a lot of lies that I was able to disprove when I got home (internet sleuthing being another strong area), but I'm not sure that he had a sound grasp on his own reality, either. My "gonna block you" message was carefully worded so as not to send him into a bigger spiral.

as i'm aging, my libido waxes and wanes every week and a half or so. i like it, it feels healthy. it's a relief not to feel horny all the time tbh. sometimes it's nice just to be more in my head or my heart for a while. sometimes i feel like my sexual desire is lower priority than it is for some people my age or older. i don't mind it though. i've had fun, i'll still have fun. there's no rush. maybe it's an introvert thing too.

all that is prompted by a chat with farm banker, who i've managed to stay friendly with for a few months now. he's a sweet guy, very salt of the earth, not a dummy or anything, kind of intense, still very straight-laced with lots of hangups. it's funny that i was jealous of him at first. he's 40, only been out for 3 years, is really getting into the dating game looking for an ltr. anyway he likes to text and likes it to turn into sexting when he's horny, which is often. and oh my god, my desire to sext is at zero point zero zero zero. i'm 41, halfway through this life, the last thing on earth i want to do is try to feel sexual through my old-ass iphone i can barely read without glasses lmao. typing made up shit back and forth with someone i can't see. dude i was on irc doing that shit from 16 to 22 when meeting someone irl was out of the question. i'd literally rather watch paint dry at this moment in my life. my partner seems to enjoy it though, which is great - i'll let him do it with our mutual sex buds to keep the wheels turning, just as long as i don't have to sext. anyway, i like this guy and check in on him every once in a while, but he's just beginning his gay journey. i'm, like, being a little bit of a "gentle parent" with him. he'll probably disappoint me lol.

i hope my farm banker friend learns to love himself and makes good choices 🥹