Artist-specific music jokes

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (367 of them)

I don't know!

the manwich horror (Neanderthal), Monday, 22 May 2023 13:12 (eleven months ago) link

https://images.uncyclomedia.co/uncyclopedia/en/f/f2/Slimed.gif

peace, man, Monday, 22 May 2023 13:15 (eleven months ago) link

Q: What did Darth Vader say to the record store clerk who didn't have his favorite George Michael album?
A: "I find your lack of Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1 disturbing."

― Day 1 fan (morrisp), Monday, May 22, 2023 3:24 AM (eleven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

LOL

Do I look like I know what a jpeg is? (dog latin), Monday, 22 May 2023 13:43 (eleven months ago) link

That one took a LONG time to register for me, but yes, well done.

Three Rings for the Elven Bishop (Dan Peterson), Monday, 22 May 2023 14:52 (eleven months ago) link

Did you know the "Ghostbusters" singer loves Disintegration?

Yes, Ray's for the Cure

Vinnie, Monday, 22 May 2023 15:20 (eleven months ago) link

...something about a festival celebrating English folk-rock held outside Rochester NY and it's called the Fairport Fairport Convention Convention.

fetter, Monday, 22 May 2023 15:25 (eleven months ago) link

That Darth Vader joke is amazing

♪♫ you can’t Shazam a memory ♪♫ (flamboyant goon tie included), Monday, 22 May 2023 16:05 (eleven months ago) link

Omg I just finally got it...lols

the manwich horror (Neanderthal), Monday, 22 May 2023 16:12 (eleven months ago) link

Yes it is a great act of misdirection where a pretty good joke is subverted by a different reference, which causes you to reevaluate your expectation and uh zzzzz never mind, analyzing a joke kills a joke.

Nevertheless I got it despite anticipating where it was going

she works hard for the monkey (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 22 May 2023 17:37 (eleven months ago) link

I had to google the original quote bcuz never seen star wars. The darth vader in the joke has the better favourite album.

you can see me from westbury white horse, Monday, 22 May 2023 17:39 (eleven months ago) link

Did you know Jerry Garcia attended the National War College in Washington DC?

He even wrote a song about his time living on campus:

War Frat.

Three Rings for the Elven Bishop (Dan Peterson), Monday, 22 May 2023 17:51 (eleven months ago) link

I'm glad you guys enjoyed the Darth Vader joke (I was afraid it was too silly for a thread revive, ha ha...)

Day 1 fan (morrisp), Monday, 22 May 2023 18:24 (eleven months ago) link

three weeks pass...

when Josh Groban joined the cast of Sweeney Todd, they opted to add one of his signature numbers to the piece.

he sings "I Raise You Up"

the manwich horror (Neanderthal), Monday, 12 June 2023 16:01 (ten months ago) link

Q: Why are there no Lee Ranaldo songs on Dirty?
A: He was having trouble playing out of tune.

Day 1 fan (morrisp), Saturday, 17 June 2023 02:22 (ten months ago) link

george harrison walks into a bar
bartender says
hey
why the long and winding road?

massaman gai (front tea for two), Saturday, 17 June 2023 07:54 (ten months ago) link

Make I Me Mine a double

Crabber B. Munson (Boring, Maryland), Saturday, 17 June 2023 15:10 (ten months ago) link

Dark Horse walks into a bar
Bartender says
“Why the long, long, long face?”

Holly Godarkbloom (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 17 June 2023 15:12 (ten months ago) link

Kevin Shields walks into a bar
Bartender: Why the long gap between albums?

Day 1 fan (morrisp), Saturday, 17 June 2023 16:21 (ten months ago) link

Lars Ulrich walks into a bar and he immediately speeds up then slows down

the manwich horror (Neanderthal), Saturday, 17 June 2023 16:26 (ten months ago) link

Bartender: Why the shit snare?

Do I look like I know what a jpeg is? (dog latin), Saturday, 17 June 2023 16:29 (ten months ago) link

James Hatfield them walks into a bar and Lars snarls "you PROMISED, James!"

the manwich horror (Neanderthal), Saturday, 17 June 2023 16:33 (ten months ago) link

Q: Why was Rick Rubin’s partner unimpressed with his style of lovemaking?
A: It involves him lying on a couch across the room and smoking a joint.

(You’re welcome for this very funny joke!!)

Day 1 fan (morrisp), Saturday, 17 June 2023 16:52 (ten months ago) link

From my kids, at primary school, c. 10 yrs ago:

Q. What do you call a fat computer?
A. A Dell.

fetter, Saturday, 17 June 2023 18:42 (ten months ago) link

(Smarmy stand-up bit):

"Folks, I'm a schmuck. I've been a schmuck my whole life. Wanna know how big a schmuck I am? Listen to 1969: Velvet Underground Live... I'm the kid in the crowd yelling back at Lou Reed – 'No, play two short sets! I gotta get home for Johnny Carson!'"

Bittern Storm Over My Hammy (morrisp), Tuesday, 20 June 2023 02:43 (ten months ago) link

three weeks pass...

What do you call a Mike and the Mechanics tribute band made up entirely of samurai?

Silent Ronin

linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Monday, 17 July 2023 04:02 (nine months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Q: Why are Depeche Mode bad at Teams meetings?

A: Because they're on Mute.

lord of the rongs (anagram), Thursday, 3 August 2023 20:02 (eight months ago) link

I've heard that on his rider Dave Gahan demands his own personal cheeses.

fetter, Thursday, 3 August 2023 20:07 (eight months ago) link

why did Depeche Mode march into the offices of Delta Dental?

to get a Policy of Tooth

linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Thursday, 3 August 2023 20:12 (eight months ago) link

what do you call a group of prosperous post-rock lawyers?

reggie (qualmsley), Friday, 4 August 2023 02:52 (eight months ago) link

I don't know, reggie, what DO you call a group of prosperous post-rock lawyers?

m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Friday, 4 August 2023 03:17 (eight months ago) link

McEntire, Grubbs, O’Rourke & Pajo LLP(?)

Nonhuman biologics enthusiast (morrisp), Friday, 4 August 2023 03:33 (eight months ago) link

Do Make Say Think & Waterhouse ?

m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Friday, 4 August 2023 04:19 (eight months ago) link

Talk Talk Talk Talk Talk Talk

assert (matttkkkk), Friday, 4 August 2023 07:32 (eight months ago) link

Q: Why does Dave Gahan never watch slasher flicks?
A: He can't stand Gore.

Supposed Former ILM Lurker (WeWantMiles), Friday, 4 August 2023 10:44 (eight months ago) link

McEntire, Grubbs, O’Rourke & Pajo LLP(?)


Specialising in torts obv

Grandall Flange (wins), Friday, 4 August 2023 10:52 (eight months ago) link

^

torteoisie

reggie (qualmsley), Friday, 4 August 2023 12:01 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

Why did Bob Marley take karate?
Because he got to have hi-yah now

3

peace, man, Thursday, 14 September 2023 23:55 (seven months ago) link

Q: Why are Depeche Mode bad at Teams meetings?

A: Because they're on Mute.

Btw, this was so great that I've thought about it from time time since it was posted...

my brain goes aahhhh (morrisp), Thursday, 14 September 2023 23:59 (seven months ago) link

Thanks, that was one of mine, although I'd probably heard it before somewhere. And now I think it would be funnier with Zoom, not Teams.

lord of the rongs (anagram), Friday, 15 September 2023 08:22 (seven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Why did the chicken ignore side one of Aerosmith's Pump?

To get to "The Other Side"

(This also works with Pendulum's In Silico but I figure ilx is more likely to complete the punchline in their head if it's the BBfBs)

you can see me from westbury white horse, Sunday, 1 October 2023 02:25 (seven months ago) link

three months pass...

gen z mud be like that's yeet that's yeet that's yeet that's yeet

you can see me from westbury white horse, Sunday, 7 January 2024 14:17 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

why did the bee gees walk out of the clive anderson interview?

he was clive talkin'!

you can see me from westbury white horse, Tuesday, 23 January 2024 06:04 (three months ago) link

oh, my child

never trust a big book and a simile (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 23 January 2024 06:22 (three months ago) link

what were george michael's favourite songs first released on albums from 29 september 1997?

"cowboys" and "angels"

you can see me from westbury white horse, Thursday, 25 January 2024 18:57 (three months ago) link

A man walks the streets of a foreign country, looking for a place to eat. The owner of a restaurant sees him and calls, "hey you! come try my food!" The man shrugs and goes inside.

"Just bring me your specialty," the man says as he sits down. The owner gives a delighted look and says, "I'll bring you our TWO very best dishes."

Ten minutes later, the owner sets out two plates of food that the man can't even recognize. "This one is fried scarabs," the owner explains excitedly, "and this one is sheep testicles." The man is horrified. But the owner swells with pride in his dishes and stands there expecting the man to try them. So try them the man must. First, he picks up a scarab. It's fried, so how bad could it be? He crunches into a leg and struggles to keep it down, but ultimately swallows the horrid thing and gives a thumbs-up. The owner is very pleased and gestures to the sheep testicles. The man slowly cuts a piece, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, then puts it in his mouth. He gags but is barely able to get it down, and afterward he turns to the owner with a put-on grin. "Both dishes are, uh, great."

"C'mon, you must have a favorite," the owner says, wagging a finger. "So which is it: the beetles or the stones?"

Vinnie, Friday, 26 January 2024 01:59 (three months ago) link

What laidback early 70s rock albums do health food specialists unwind to?

'Holland' and 'Barrett'

you can see me from westbury white horse, Friday, 26 January 2024 05:09 (three months ago) link

one month passes...

lol “What is a Communique?”

President Keyes, Monday, 4 March 2024 00:55 (one month ago) link

Yeah that guy really just had one round in the chamber, lol

Hippie Ernie (morrisp), Monday, 4 March 2024 00:59 (one month ago) link

What is a surgical assistant's favorite punk band?

Operation I.V.

peace, man, Thursday, 14 March 2024 11:08 (one month ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.