one shit wonder - amazing acts that somehow created one of the biggest duds in history

99% of Blur fans would throw their Alex's Song and Crazy Beat at this thread but I'm quite fond of the latter's Kalifornia-is-druggy-druggy voicebox and erastz Junior Senior groove. It's the lyrics and 'yeah yeah yeah yu-YEAH' that blow.

The problem is also that the song while about a Crazy Beat, is built upon one that is anything but

chuck berry - my ding-a-ling
lonnie donegan - my old man's a dustman

Simple Minds - Alive and Kicking

Alive and Kicking is probably the only Simple Minds song I like from that 1985-87 period, despite it having all the hallmarks of what I don't like about it as a whole.

Beatles is truly a band of many shits imo

The Cure - “Wrong Number”

Immediately thought “surely, Simple Minds has songs far worse than ‘Alive And Kicking?’ Anything from Streetfighting Years for starters…”

Waiting for someone to mention "Shiny Happy People" and for me to FP them because that song makes me cry.

nah I like it -- they were good at kiddy music ("Stand," "Get Up").

R.E.M.'s offenses in this domain were more about terrible albums than terrible singles

Agreed! I've never even listened to the last studio record lmfao.

Belfast Child, surely

which I suppose was their E-Bow The Letter / Paranoid Android

prefab sprout - I hate that for most people they're the wacky hot dog jumping frog band

Apparently sarahell and NickB think the Beatles were an amazing act!

I'd also agree that "Alive and Kicking" was Simple Minds's last good song before delving into alternating pretension and mediocrity. It's fun that they did their own rewrite of "Don't You (Forget About Me)" to counter those who thought they could only have a hit with a song someone else wrote.

Prodigy - Baby's Got A Temper

Trying to think of a band that made good to great music but with one stinky outlier is harder than I expected, I guess 'The Baby Song', but it's barely a song.

Kevin Ayers - Fake Mexican Tourist Blues

The Kinks have many mediocre songs, but "Black Messiah" stands out for being an explicitly and viciously racist piece of shit.

xpost for me, often times the one stinky song is the first one I heard so I didn't realize I liked the band. like Seger...I thought I hated him for years as a kid because of that song.

and yet I am struggling to think of other examples even though I have at least two or three others like this.

OH....Cheap Trick, "The Flame"

(ok i'm aware Cheap Trick have other duds but "The Flame" is the only one that causes me to fly into a rage and break windows)

ehh, on second thought, disqualifying this one. written by professional songwriter, late 80s, not up to the par of others on this list.

The only part in "The Flame" I dislike is when Zander yowls beyond his range in the last minute.

i always feel like this phenomenon happens a lot when an artist with longevity crosses decades and decides to jump onto a trend they're not really equipped for, then recalibrates shortly after.

OOOH

Isley Brothers - Contagious

I was listening to the Hollies 1976 disco-influenced track 'Wiggle That Wotsit' the other day, and it might be the worst track I can think of by a group that had once made really wonderful records, (despite the extenuating circumstances, half the original members had left by that point and they were mainly recording songs by outside writers) I'm not familiar enough with post early-70s Hollies to say if it was a one-off or if they had whole albums of stuff as bad as this, though, so maybe it doesn't count.

Also maybe the least artistically successful attempt by a 60s pop group to 'go disco'

ABBA's I Have a Dream was the only song of theirs I couldn't stand - early embryonic schlager included - at least until Little Things.

lol that song wound up on an ep of Black Mirror (though not their version, a cover created for the show)

I had no idea about that Hollies track and I love the Hollies. going to give a listen after my meeting.

Those recent remixes of Frozen mark Madonna's obvious nadir to me.

I was literally just about to post a YouTube of "Wiggle That Wotsit" but when I was listening to it it didn't sound terrible enough for this thread

just popping in with the thought that the beatles are disqualified because of "hey jude" and "the long and winding road"

prefab sprout - I hate that for most people they're the wacky hot dog jumping frog band

― rincton monkspoon (NickB), Wednesday, 10 May 2023 15:13 (thirty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I like Illegal Alien, Shiny Happy People and The King of Rock 'n' Roll, they maybe all fall into the category of slightly novelty-ish songs by bands that became hits, I can see how that would annoy fans, but none of those songs feel completely divorced from the band's usual vibe, they don't have that "how the hell did THAT come out of YOU?" thing described in the op. Black Messiah is unlikeable, but also seems to be mined from a seam that's there in other Kinks songs

I was going to post the youtube video as well, them miming to the song on Dutch tv, listening to it again maybe it's no so much the song, which is just everyday-bad, but that they look so clapped out and badly dressed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL9lg3dDgQo

This single only charted in Holland (23) New Zealand (11) and Sweden (19)

madness - driving in my car

while there are a few other songs of theirs that i don't enjoy due to over exposure, i absolutely hated this track even when it was released.
and i have never changed my opinion about it.

I love several of these songs including that one. Mostly I like the rickety junkshop rhythm which I can't help but wonder if - unlikely as it seems - it was inspired in some way by Anthony Newley's That Noise (Newley and Madness not being miles apart).

Bonus points though for being the only hit single (that I know of) to mention my childhood home turf of Muswell Hill

xpost

I'm sure I'm quite alone in this, but: Chicago was a great singles band up to "Just You and Me," then everything they do is awful; same with the Carpenters up to "Sing," more or less.

Chicago is such an ingrained part of my youth (school prom theme was "Colour My World") that I can't deny. I'd even push the timeline a bit farther than that single, but the greatness starts to decline.

I'd push the Carpenters' discog out a few more singles too, actually.

I'm sure people here will say that U2 have plenty of bad songs, but "Get On Your Boots" feels particularly egregious.

omg Wiggle That Wotsit is DIRE......holy fuck. great add to this thread.

Brown Sugar

"Rainy Day Women"? Doesn't exactly loom large in the massive body of work but kinda stands out leading off an album like Blonde on Blonde...

tied for biggest hit in America

I feel like there have to be some hip hop artists this applies to, like....i know not all rappers were album-artists so there's often a lot of filler, but even rappers with huge stature make some wtf choices (i.e. Nas's "Fetus", though I don't count him as despite being one of my favorites, he has a fuck ton of songs I hate).

Jay-Z also doesn't qualify as he has multiple shits up in him

"Change Clothes" my pick for worst Jay-Z top ten.

ctrl-f kokomo

good mention map, but i'd say they're like the beatles: multiple crimes were committed.

And I don't know whether this is a factor, but the Beach Boys hadn't been "amazing" for at least 15 years beforehand.

yeah I think there are definitely parallels in how psych referenced Lewis Carroll stuff and rave referenced tv cartoons

I love making this comparison to people - more-so that end of rave connecting to the more overt whimsy of the Bonzos etc. I'm assuming Kate meant toytown as in 60s toytown pop though - to the UK what sunshine pop is to US where retrospective record collector type genres with rather rigidly defined if still ultimately quite ineffable parameters are concerned.

I am going to be super basic and assert that the best "Across the Universe" cover is by Rufus Wainwright.

Come on. Laibach take this in a walk.

Fiona Apple to thread. One of few covers I'll take over the original

Let's all hug it out and agree that there are some absolutely stellar covers of this song which is not even in the top five Beatles songs.

That could be a topic in itself - songs that are not the original artists' best songs, but that lend themselves to good covers.

*cough* paging Leonard Cohen *cough*

I don't know if there's really a bad Beatles song

Wow. Hard disagreement re "Party." It took Rosanne Cash for me to hearthe sadness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fjsQPS5l-w

list of mostly great songs there

If it’s good enough for Bowie and Fiona Apple it’s good enough for me.

my least favourite Beatles song is Do You Want To Know A Secret, ever since I heard the V/VM version I've found it almost unlistenable.

I’m Happy Just To Dance With You
If I Fell

whaaaaaaaaaat

Not even a big Beatles fan, but those songs are gorgeous and objectively great

I knew I was opening up a can of worms (probably worthy of its own thread tbh) but I must disagree — despite promising hooks, they’re fundamentally trash.

Anyone mention “Batdance”?

That something so fundamentally weird as Batdance became a hit is entirely a good thing, whatever the track’s merits.

"Batdance" rules and I will hear nothing to the contrary

Vicki Vale
Vick
Vicki Vale

OOOOH YEAH

A few years ago we did a thread about universally held opinions and I think we found that there were none.

There is no song so bad that it doesn't have any defenders. And no song so good that it doesn't have any detractors.

hey Duckie
why don't we put the seven inch in the computer

Batdance camouflaged quite well in the UK charts where collage-type things like that were not uncommon so its extra neat it was huge in the US. Also it sort of reminds me of Meat Beat Manifesto's Cutman.

Hey! I like it as well. But after the magnificence of "Lovesexy" it was...um...a surprise at the time.

You Know My Name is one of the best Beatles songs fwiw

Companion thread

POX: Worst Songs by artists you normally enjoy

I was trying to think of a comparison for how a Bobby McFerrin fan might feel about "Don't Worry Be Happy" & I think it might be something like a Yello fan would feel about "Oh Yeah".

I’m a Todd Rundgren fan and I kinda feel that way about “Bang On the Drum All Day.”

Yeah! Like, they aren't totally out of line with the rest of the artists' work, it's just that these songs became society's singular focus on an almost tossed off aspect of one of many things that the artist does.

I cannot believe Bang on the Drum All Day isn't a Bad Manners original.

My disbelief is always the first thing I think of whenever I think of the Todd album let alone the song.

the rest of that album is really good, too. “Influenza”, “don’t hurt yourself”…

"Stand" by REM springs to mind.

^only came to that song through Chris Elliott show "Get a Life"

Wake up Boo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJXPTnPmm78

Crazy Beat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohyqek7fj6Y

Working on a Dreamzzzz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3ZMfPXgd_M

Winner
https//www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AEO21i-oN0

Crazy Beat is naff but not ever sure it's the worst Blur single when Bang exists

Bang is great. I made my partial (partial) case for Crazy Beat upthread.

the band hate Bang but it's probably my favourite song on Leisure, I will say its charms are kind of fleeting and intangible and it's a bad choice for a single (they should have gone with Sing)

imo Sing is probably the song that would have worked least well as a single - too lengthy, droney and vaporous - but it is the best early Blur song.

I think - as shown on Trainspotting - that Sing is sonically interesting and immediately gets your attention, it would really stand out on Radio or TOTP and show their range. Whereas Bang sounds like every other shuffling post-Madchester indie song and doesn't even have a proper chorus, it's only by listening to the LP a lot that you start to get the feel of it, so it's madness to put it out as your third single, it's like announcing you have no other ideas.

Sing would stick out but I don't think it would have sold to an audience who only know There's No Other Way. Not that 'Bang' sold much either, mind, but I can't imagine 'Sing' would have taken them to TOTP again. The closest thing to it on the 1991 charts would be To Here Knows When which was selling to a fanbase who already knew what the band were about.

"Sing" was left off the US version of Leisure, which disappointed me. I guess the wags at SBK didn't see the hit potential either.

"Honey Pie" might be the worst song in this entire thread.

Underworld - Bruce Lee

Wake Up Boo, much as I do like it, is a good example of a hit song that eclipsed a great, multifaceted band

I also know people who maybe missed the original Britpop era who associate Blur with downbeat pity-fests like Tender, Coffee + TV and No Distance Left To Run. Damon's extracurricular work corroborates that view quite a bit - his default post- Britpop mode is to sound a bit tired and despondent. But in the 90s I remember them being upbraided in the press for being all cheery and chirpy

Bruce Lee is fucking amazing

It’s an instant skip for me, the rest of Beaucoup Fish is so propulsive and then slap bang in the middle, Skym then this lumpen slow plod for 4 minutes. Never understood why it got a single release compared to say, Moaner or Cups.

I can never skip anything on Beaucoup Fish

Moaner got a limited single release at the time of Batman & Robin but was already two years old by 1999. Although I somehow can imagine a radio edit of Cups despite it being 12m long.