Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

A "large" espresso is a small cup o' Joe. I think I had the same reaction on my first espresso.

Well TBF it was a rlly big coffee mug, and being an espresso machine even a large is still only about 1/3 of the total volume. Tried to explain to him that thats normal, and lattes usually have the rest as just milk, he still looked at me like I was speaking martian.

And haitch you shuld know this things ;P

try speaking to him in perl next time

I suspect that might be all he understands.

oh god i've never made a proper coffee in my life, i leave that to the experts! working in carlton spoils you a bit, it must be said.

Haven't you ever watched a barista do his thang, though? Maybe I'm just curious, being a cookery type.

oh i have a look but it goes in one eye and out the... hang on i've picked the wrong analogy. i just watch as an admirer rather than take mental notes!

Now I want a coffee :(

i could do with a tea actually.

haha just had a look up at my long-ago moaning at the old job. everyone here is lovely, nothing to complain about really!

He was honestly saying shit like "why is there hardly any in here?" and "what do I do now, put milk in?", it was like he'd never had a coffee before in his life.

― seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Monday, August 3, 2009 10:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

i would probably be saying the same thing but then ive never had a coffee before

The *sysadmin* of all people stood in front of it and whined that he didn't know how to use it to make a coffee. OK, somewhat fair - the levels buttons arent obvious and theres 3 other buttons that do the milk froth and such. So that was explained to him.

Awwwwww. (I completely know what this feels like. It's like the more servers you configure or whatever the more it pushes basic consumer electronics knowledge out of your head.)

i would probably be saying the same thing but then ive never had a coffee before

― Hillary had Everest in his veins (sunny successor), Tuesday, August 4, 2009 8:47 AM Bookmark

Sunny one time offered to pour me a coffee. It was a very thoughtful gesture on her part since she hates coffee, the smell of it and everything.

She's in the kitchen for awhile and finally says, "Does it always take this long to pour out?" I don't know what she's talking about. "Does it have to drip like this into the mug?"

Turns out, she wasn't pushing the button on the lid down with her thumb, the button that acts as a stopper for the pitcher. I would have laughed in her face had the whole gesture not been such a genuine one.

"Opposable thumbs are a signature feature of the primate family, and played a large role in the ancient humans inventing and using tools."

Nice work with the quotes. Wouldn't want to think that you were trying to pass that off as your own.

he's not really annoying, maybe not stupid, but there's this gloomy eeyore type who's been here for several months stalking sullenly around the office, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else, refusing eye contact. i came upon him the other day leaning against a wall in the hallway, staring angrily at closed door (which is a now-empty office being used as storage.) he's kind of creeping me out, tbh.

If she asks me if I would like a slice of an apple one more time I am going to take the apple slices and shove them down her happy little throat.

If you share an office space with another person, and you are going to use the phone in said shared office space to make a personal phone call, at least try not to talk AT THE TOP OF YOUR FUCKING VOICE. alskdjfa;lksdjf;alksdjfal;ksdjf

i used to have that once. what i did is called her extension a few times while she was on the phone - when it went to voicemail i'd hang up after a second. when she'd get off the phone and notice she'd had a few hang-ups she'd get all worried that she'd missed an important call. after a few times the 30 minute calls with her mother/sister stopped! :D
the calls didn't actually bother me - i just thought it was funny.

She only uses her outside voice on calls to certain family members, so in addition to being distracted by her yelling into the phone, I also get a heaping helping of unintentional TMI. She's generally very aware of the drawbacks of shared space, and thus normally very considerate, but she just has this one blind (perhaps deaf) spot that drives me crazy, because I can't work when somebody is yelling about a newphew's potty training progress eight feet away from me.

Maybe those family members yell at her over the phone, or that newphew is in the background banging pot lids together or something. Still, you are totally right, and ew.

Jenny you should start making comments about whatever she's telling her mother, sotto voce, and if she stops and says "excuse me? this is private" you can act all suprised and say "o rly cos your loud rambling suggested otherwise".

"Z-Pack? Antibiotics? You should NOT take that, it's going to destroy your immune system. When I was twelve, I had a terrible overwhelming flu that left me bedridden for a week. I refused to take medicine, because I don't trust it. Because of that, my body produces such powerful antibodies that I've never been sick since."

girl who says "evidently" and "literally" all the time and loves Harry Potter and Twilight. Getting on my nerves a bit.

also she has thousands of stories of situations she has been in where someone has acted insanely mean, aggressive, unreasonable, duplicitious towards her that always leave me thinking that she's left out the bit where she was a total prick thus bringing about said treatment.

Woman has been covering for someone who's on leave and has phoned up several times every day this week saying "SINCE you haven't put this data in the shared folder like you were meant to, please spend the next 15 minutes trying to look things up while still holding the phone and listening to me babble, and then read them out to me" and then wondering why I haven't managed to do the other tasks she's set for me.

So I was idly wondering how come the guy on leave got his job done without phoning me ever, and whaddyaknow, I have put all the data on the shared drive! In a fairly obvious location! It's just I'd been slack about putting something else up there so I just assumed she was right and didn't tell her to go and look ;_;

someone added "tigger and pooh friendly tails" and "eminem: the way i am" to my amazon shopping cart

Definitely you before unexplained and unnoticed blackout.

"isn't it ironic that america's supposed to be the land of the free, but europe has so much more freedom than us? I blame the puritans."
"I definitely wouldn't want to live in England though. They have so many rules. They probably have a rule against breathing."

That was the same person saying both those things?

yep.

Thinking of petitioning MPs to instate a law that non-technical staff replying to a long technical explanation with "well I don't see why you can't just do it anyway", and then saying it AGAIN when one of the many reasons why not is repeated in different terms, should be dismissed on the spot.

Also, thanks for appointing a 20-year-old kid who doesn't know any programming languages to a programming role on the same salary as me, and then talking him up as being about to turn any minute into the great messiah of the project. Motivational!

Fuck. Really fucking had it.

should be dismissed on the spot.

I was hoping that sentence was going to end "should be hung drawn and quartered", but then I was working in IT support in what feels now like the middle ages.

20-year-old kid

...will fuck up big style shortly, given enough rope, etc..

Sounds like an equal opportunity case, r spacecadet.

the great messiah of the project

Meaning that he'll be crucified for everyone else's sins?

> Also, thanks for appointing a 20-year-old kid who doesn't know any programming languages to a programming role on the same salary as me

does he have the same surname as the boss?

Workmate at the next desk is playing a John Mayer cover of "Free Falling"

>_<

Kill me pls.

An email made the rounds today whining about how there were spiderwebs outside the window and someone needed to "take care of them" IMMEDIATELY because they were "scary". The people participating in this email discussion were serious.

on the OUTSIDE of the window.

o_0

The windows, by the way, are on the 5th floor and are sealed shut, so taking care of the spiderwebs OUTSIDE would most likely involve a gigantic ladder outside

your tax dollars at work

Oh I've worked in govt departments, I know all about the morans that can lurk therein :/

A coworker who sits near me has been going on and on to anyone who'll listen (and even those who won't), for at least an hour, about burning a bag of popcorn in the microwave. This is the sad high point of her week, I guess? I'm torn between desperately wanting her to stop talking and a perverse desire to see how long I can get her to latch onto the topic. I'm guessing through the end of the week, easy, if I play my cards right.

my work from home days (2 days a week) just got taken away. ouchouchouchouch

shit my condolences. don't know what i would do w/out my wfh day.

why did they do it?

Oh man I would love to work from home or work part time... sigh.

My entire career goal is to one day go freelance. Work from home everyday. MM.

I feel bad for you, ss. That must be hard to take.

our company got taken over at the beginning of the year and i guess they just worked out our campus has a wfh policy. no reasoning except that they just don't like it. im mad but trying to tell myself that going in 5 days a week is what most people do and what i did before this job. its rough when you have a 3 day office week for years and then its taken away though.

Today I had a looooong debate with a co-worker where I tried to convince him that the Washington Monument, clearly visible outside the window, was actually called the Washington Monument. He thinks it is called the Obelisk. Seriously. And he won't change his mind.

Near the end, he also stated his belief that Van Jones is/was a " bombthrower", to which I replied "yeah but you think that's called the Obelisk" as I pointed out the window.

too much civ will do that to a mind.