Artist-specific music jokes

this one only works with excessive headbanging, air guitar and mouth-guitar-noises, before the audience looks blankly and says "sorry, the young who?"
...and that juicy tumbleweed moment is the punchline

the young gods walk into a bar.
barman says:
hey, why the
Longue route comète
Aujourd'hui est de fête
Nous avons fait longue route
Donne-nous le ciel à boire

Longue route mes yeux
Oh longue planète bleue
Nous avons fait long feu
Et nous brûlons encore

Car la nuit... est D'ACCORD!
D'ACCORD!

Q: What did Adam Duritz almost hit with his car?
A: A browwnn deeeeeerr

Q: What did Darth Vader say to the record store clerk who didn't have his favorite George Michael album?
A: "I find your lack of Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1 disturbing."

(sorry, his favorite album is what it is... I can't change it to make the joke work better)

What did Hughie Green say when asked if he was allowed to include anything by Jethro Tull or Beady Eye in a list of second albums by British rock bands he was making?

"Stand Up (1969) and BE (2013) counted."

Q: What did Darth Vader say to the record store clerk who didn't have his favorite George Michael album?
A: "I find your lack of _Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1_ disturbing."

What did Harriet Wheeler say to Jonatha Brooke in 1995?

"Here's where The Story ends."

Q) What's the first song on Blizzard of Ozz?

Hahaha

I don't know!

https://images.uncyclomedia.co/uncyclopedia/en/f/f2/Slimed.gif

Q: What did Darth Vader say to the record store clerk who didn't have his favorite George Michael album?
A: "I find your lack of Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1 disturbing."

― Day 1 fan (morrisp), Monday, May 22, 2023 3:24 AM (eleven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

LOL

That one took a LONG time to register for me, but yes, well done.

Did you know the "Ghostbusters" singer loves Disintegration?

Yes, Ray's for the Cure

...something about a festival celebrating English folk-rock held outside Rochester NY and it's called the Fairport Fairport Convention Convention.

That Darth Vader joke is amazing

Omg I just finally got it...lols

Yes it is a great act of misdirection where a pretty good joke is subverted by a different reference, which causes you to reevaluate your expectation and uh zzzzz never mind, analyzing a joke kills a joke.

Nevertheless I got it despite anticipating where it was going

I had to google the original quote bcuz never seen star wars. The darth vader in the joke has the better favourite album.

Did you know Jerry Garcia attended the National War College in Washington DC?

He even wrote a song about his time living on campus:

War Frat.

I'm glad you guys enjoyed the Darth Vader joke (I was afraid it was too silly for a thread revive, ha ha...)

when Josh Groban joined the cast of Sweeney Todd, they opted to add one of his signature numbers to the piece.

he sings "I Raise You Up"

Q: Why are there no Lee Ranaldo songs on Dirty?
A: He was having trouble playing out of tune.

george harrison walks into a bar
bartender says
hey
why the long and winding road?

Make I Me Mine a double

Dark Horse walks into a bar
Bartender says
“Why the long, long, long face?”

Kevin Shields walks into a bar
Bartender: Why the long gap between albums?

Lars Ulrich walks into a bar and he immediately speeds up then slows down

Bartender: Why the shit snare?

James Hatfield them walks into a bar and Lars snarls "you PROMISED, James!"

Q: Why was Rick Rubin’s partner unimpressed with his style of lovemaking?
A: It involves him lying on a couch across the room and smoking a joint.

(You’re welcome for this very funny joke!!)

From my kids, at primary school, c. 10 yrs ago:

Q. What do you call a fat computer?
A. A Dell.

(Smarmy stand-up bit):

"Folks, I'm a schmuck. I've been a schmuck my whole life. Wanna know how big a schmuck I am? Listen to 1969: Velvet Underground Live... I'm the kid in the crowd yelling back at Lou Reed – 'No, play two short sets! I gotta get home for Johnny Carson!'"

What do you call a Mike and the Mechanics tribute band made up entirely of samurai?

Silent Ronin

Q: Why are Depeche Mode bad at Teams meetings?

A: Because they're on Mute.

I've heard that on his rider Dave Gahan demands his own personal cheeses.

why did Depeche Mode march into the offices of Delta Dental?

to get a Policy of Tooth

what do you call a group of prosperous post-rock lawyers?

I don't know, reggie, what DO you call a group of prosperous post-rock lawyers?

McEntire, Grubbs, O’Rourke & Pajo LLP(?)

Do Make Say Think & Waterhouse ?

Talk Talk Talk Talk Talk Talk

Q: Why does Dave Gahan never watch slasher flicks?
A: He can't stand Gore.

McEntire, Grubbs, O’Rourke & Pajo LLP(?)

^

torteoisie

Why did Bob Marley take karate?
Because he got to have hi-yah now

3

Q: Why are Depeche Mode bad at Teams meetings?

A: Because they're on Mute.

Btw, this was so great that I've thought about it from time time since it was posted...

Thanks, that was one of mine, although I'd probably heard it before somewhere. And now I think it would be funnier with Zoom, not Teams.

Why did the chicken ignore side one of Aerosmith's Pump?

To get to "The Other Side"

(This also works with Pendulum's In Silico but I figure ilx is more likely to complete the punchline in their head if it's the BBfBs)

gen z mud be like that's yeet that's yeet that's yeet that's yeet