Best snippet of overheard conversation

"Is he going into convulsions?"

"Not yet!"

I live next to the West Hollywood Russian mafia.

A: They don't have any [insert female recording artist name here] CDs!!!!

B: Maybe they're sold-out.

A: Maybe they're just SEXIST!

I also heard them complaining that the store didn't have "enough" Sex Pistols records, whatever that means. Oh, Berkeley..

"What's a glory hole?"

Exec1: They've got 35 buildings on 29 locations, 900 employees...looks like we've hit the glory hole with this one.
Exec2: "glory hole"? What kind of expression is that?

So, there wasn't a demo either? Sad.

While waiting in front of a girl said to her friend at the Post Office, this morn:

"He's such an ass! Had the nerve to hold up the dildo like a sword."

Was dying to ask her whether he was willing to bend over, natch.

First: "She's always locking everything up, she.."

Second: "Yeah, she's always putting everything in boxes.."

First: "...that lock."

"So you were less surprised at getting hit by a bus than at me getting engaged?!"

Prof.:...and that's when man found out he had idle time to do whatever he pleased.
Student: Oh, yeah! That's where they fry the codfish!

WTF?! Mind you, this little exchange was all in Spanish.

(whilst walking down polk st. in san francisco)
"I dont give a fuck, I'm just tryin' to eat the pussy"

Not really. It was just complete nonsense as far as I'm concerned. Maybe she was into Dada.

"So welcome to the team. We'll have some laughs! But it'll be hard work, too."

later, to be completed by my friend--

"when you stab a starving baby, it doesn't scream, it just dies! Huh? huh?"

As most of you know, I am proud mother to a rather precociouus 6 year old boy. I have never been more proud than when I overheard this just now:

Zoe (the dog): barks, jumps on bed, walks around
S: "Zoe, get off me, you're stepping on my balls!"

Fin.

Middle aged, average looking woman to middle aged husband(Shouting. Loud. From back of bus to front, holding up mobile phone as if by way of explantion and utter deadpan, with no hint of irony at all...)

IAN, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I ASKED YOU WHO'S THE DADDY NOW?

"..you're a bastard, and now you're even making me smell men's piss!"

12 year old Kid on Bus #1: you shit!

12 year old Kid on Bus #2: you wanker!

12 year old Kid on Bus #1: you bastard!

12 year old Kid on Bus #2: you asshole!

12 year old Kid on Bus #1: you paedophile!

Chubby Kid (to friend): Yo...DUCK, son!

The restaurant lull didn't last long enough for me to hear what came next, and I almost made a thread asking ILE to guess, cause I keep making guesses myself.

WTF this woman was in her 20s.

A family at Old Country Buffet, on a separate occasion:
Boy (to teenage girl): Boy, you sure like salt.
Girl: Not as much as your aunt does.
Boy (to woman): Why do you like salt so much?
Woman: I need it for my ears. It keeps the water out of em.

Taller, okder gay guy: Yeah. My mom uses this cleaner that's really good.

Shorter, younger gay guy: Would it work.

Tall: Oh yeah. It's really good. It has a nice smell too.

Short: What is it?!! Really?

Tall: I'm not sure?

Short: Where does she get it?

Tall: I think at work.

Short: Wouldn't it be great if we could use it?

"Hi this is CB from [magazine]. We're trying to build a unicycle and we wondered if you had any spanners?"

incredibly high scratchy scouse accents.

voice1:Look at these olives.
voice2:Olives!
voice1:Dese ones are stuffed with pimento!
voice2:Woz pimento?
voice1:Don't fuckin' know.

"It's not swearing if you say ship. Ship! Ship! See, it's alright. I said Ship! SHIP!"

"It's like everybody has a computer now."
"I know. It's crazy."