pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

I thought the blurred lines piece was real good w a complex subject. My only quibbles were I think it bears noting that robin thicke's fanbased up until blurred lines was predominantly black R&B fans, seems like a relevant point; and that robin thicke using a sarcastic voice, "as if this provided mitigating context," sounds like it does in fact provide mitigating context, but he kind of reports it like its an ad hoc mea culpa

on the whole tho, again, I thought it handled a pretty layered conversation admirably

I'd have been more favourably receptive to that very well-written Warren Zevon review if the rating had been anything but a 10 (for an album where I only really like two songs).

Depends what you want from critical writing. I don't expect my judgments to coincide with the writer's; I get off on the insights and turns of phrase.

Someone pointed out on Twitter that it was weird that the name Linda Ronstadt didn't appear anywhere in the Zevon review. I mean yeah, the album came out and did OK on its own, but Ronstadt's covers of "Poor Poor Pitiful Me" and "Carmelita" and "Hasten Down The Wind" probably did as much to get his name out there as anything he did on his own.

I don't expect my judgments to coincide with the writer's

Nor do I, but anybody's perfect score feels really pushy: "you can't not love this!"

Resist, my son.

I have fought dragons like My Boring Dull Torpid Fantasies before.

I also understand that, for every decimal point they go below 10, fewer listeners will be inspired to listen to any vintage record they review.

My reaction if “Low” or “I Gotta Feeling” came on would be to bop my head! The idea that “upbeat, peppy, or salacious” songs curdle from overexposure feels straight-up wrong (and including “salacious” in the list is putting finger on scale… obv “Low” may not be appropriate for all settings, but that has nothing to do with the point being made).

Discarding the specific examples, I'd say an overplayed ballad often feels more like an ambient irritation, while an overplayed uptempo number tends to have a stronger hook to remember, which is a double edged sword. Huge generalization I know.

Overplayed uptempo numbers tend towards the coercive.

I think for me, the worst kind of overplayed song is something like Semisonic's "Closing Time" (or, to choose songs I "actually like"), "Losing My Religion," or "Sweet Child O' Mine"... mid-tempo rockers with insistent rhythms that leave no breathing room.

Overplayed uptempo numbers tend towards the coercive.

Oh, I didn't have dance tracks in mind -- always the exception.

I cannot hear "uptempo [god-damn] numbers" without thinking of Casey Kasem's hilarious outtake!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDYK2H0ldbo

Ha ha... I don't even have to watch that, it's burned into my brain :)

Yeah! The one where he butchers the radio station name, then just yells, "Oh, FUCK!"

good discussion upthread but IMHO the only valid reaction to hearing "I Gotta Feeling" in 2023 is immediately setting the building you're in on fire until it stops

the only reason why it's not BEP's worst song is because they have so many worse, i.e. "My Humps".

I think the only ones I like are "Where is the Love?" and "Let's Get It Started"

Neanderthal, you so two thousand and late

For some reason I read that too fast as "Where Is My Towel?" and now I'm pondering this BEP/Pixies/TMBG/Weird Al crossover.

Throw Douglas Adams in there too.

I was at Six Flags with my kid this weekend and was just struck by the supreme beauty of I Gotta Feeling. It almost made me cry tears of joy.

We love "I Gotta Feeling" because we have built up this secret mythology that Will.I.Am kept getting invited to perform at a lot of fancy industry-people bar mitzvahs until it occurred to him to create the perfect fun for the whole family bar mitzvah song. "Fill up my cup (Drank)/Mazel tov (L'chaim)," indeed.

Also:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6mtj6yGkCw

jesus, fuck tweedy

idk if he's his type

very dumb but made me laugh

as far as this era of pop songs is on the table, the one that is absolutely a NO NO NO NO NO from me is "Moves Like Jagger." I would rather drink Will.I.Am's fetid urine than ever hear "Moves Like Jagger" ever again.

thanking u

For me, it's "Roar." Will always associate it with the Clinton campaign.

"Accidental Racist" may have been the nadir of that era

but did provide one of the most entertaining ILX discussions from that era

my humps is so much better than where is the love tf

My Humps is a like, worst of the 21st century nominee

nothing sampling 'I need a freak' can be that bad

Every Maroon 5 song after "Jagger" turned into a tenement fire set by a far.

*fart

https://i.imgur.com/123quVO.png

https://i.imgur.com/fPJcYrd.png

A can of orange White Claw has subtly disappeared, Kubrick-style

I’d be embarrassed to have to summarize a Rolling Stone puff piece about something this dumb, add that a related Instagram story “was viewed by Pitchfork,” and call it reporting.

i don't think anyone is claiming that's reporting

OK, I'd be embarrassed to put it in the News section of my music website

Time to find another beat then.

Good idea – I'm gonna turn the tables and start a blog that ONLY rewrites articles about imagined beefs that stans are tweeting about, so ppl will scratch their heads when actual news slips in.

(only beefs that have already been confirmed not to exist, of course)

Onlybeefs is a good website idea

Here’s an article that makes almost comically liberal use of notorious weasel words “allegedly” and “claimed” (a Pitchfork favorite). It’s really irritating, if you care about news writing.

(I found it through a link in another article that mentions these guys’ “alleged experience”).

In the interest of being Fair and Balanced, I thought this was a good piece.

lol they are covering this like watergate

https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/an-interview-with-the-teenager-who-livestreamed-frank-oceans-coachella-set/#intcid=_pitchfork-bottom-recirc_66f1f5ef-762b-423d-ab66-94394752db76_cral2-2_fallback_popular4-1

I got there at about 9 a.m. and waited in the sun for three hours till doors opened at noon. Then I sprinted as fast as I could to the barricade, and me and my two friends sat there for the next 11 hours.

So basically she waited the length of a flight to Australia.